#358. Ex-Prison Guard EXPOSES Britain's VIOLENT Prison System - Jeff Tieku

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1:54What was it like being a prison officer for 10 years? The life as a prison officer was just mad. What's the worst thing you've seen in prison? I've seen everything. I've seen everything. I've seen someone get chopped and their skin is completely split. There was one guy, he would just stick things in his temple. What's the worst thing you've seen disgusting in prison? Yeah, one Algerian guy. He had a big dollop of s***. He was just pinging it at people on the wing. People were ducking it down. Did you have a lot of respect in there?

2:23Jeff Tieku: Oh, yeah. I am the greatest prisoner of soil you ever have on this show, guaranteed. What prison officer do you know that wears Prada's? You couldn't bring sex offenders on me. And if you did, they're getting smoked. You couldn't prove it, you couldn't catch me. I wasn't there. What did you notice about going to a jail where there's a load of lifers? They're unpredictable. You could be attacked at any time, right? Are you like, game on, let's have it then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is everyone swinging? It's my life against yours. Have you seen someone actually being kettled? Yeah, loads of times. You can just see white flesh.

2:54Even if you touch them, everything, their skin is just gone. I talk about a situation where some guy, he cooked his poo in a kettle.

3:01Jeff Tieku: Mate, hold on a minute. Someone's... Tell me that story. Someone's done what with their poo? Go on. They're easy.

3:13Jeff Tieku: Hey, guys. We've been running this podcast now for five and a half years. We've had some most amazing business guests on here. Simon Squibb, Daniel Priestley, Barry Hearn. The list just goes on and on from billionaires to people who have built brands. If you want to come on the podcast and talk about your business and sit here with me in the studio and tell your story, go check out dodgewoodall.com forward slash guest and check out the three-minute video. We've also left the link below as well. Jeff, welcome to the show, mate. Thanks for having me. Yeah, looking forward to this one, mate. Let's roll all the way back.

3:43Jeff Tieku: What's it like being a prison officer for 10 years? Because you have to understand, like, again, there's that social stigma being black being from London so you already had that stereotype so that was that was tough in itself you know like and I understand why people were pressured into doing things which were deemed as like illegal when it came to contraband because it's just there was pressure in it but I couldn't explain to you yeah the life as a prison officer was yeah it was just mad and some of the stories that obviously I'll tell you that I've saved you know I've actually saved some serious stories for this what it is yeah it's a bit mad still what made you go into the prison then and when you were in prison were you seeing other of your mates actually banged up the other side and you're a screw yeah that must be odd yeah so yeah me working in prison like I said I always say every podcast it was it was never ever the plan the plan was for me to get experience in a criminal setting for me to then work in probation.

4:53I didn't know that obviously I was going to work in prison for 10 years. It took like 10 years of my life. And even the first day of when I started on the wings in prison I've unlocked the door and one of my mates had banged up. I hadn't seen him for years as well. I went to college with him. He was a good boy as well. So when I've opened the door I was thinking what's in your head? like you know so that was odd but then I got used to it you know I got used to it when my friends got banged up and it taught me a lot because if if my friends respected me if they were like my real friends they wouldn't ask me to bring in like contraband you see what I'm saying so even working in the system it taught me a lot about people like when it comes to their moral compass sorry all for like themselves if you actually respected and actually you know rated me you ain't gonna ask me to bring in like drugs and salt and phones and that like do you understand what I'm saying so yeah working in that environment is a very very selfish environment you see that term crags crabs in a bucket yeah yeah that's prison yeah every man for himself even to the extent it gets so bad I was talking to obviously like my boy the other day where inmates will will think that they're officers You'll see inmates restraining inmates.

6:18I promise you. Just, yeah. Hold on, hold on a second.

6:24Jeff Tieku: Inmates are restraining other inmates not to attack screws. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if, say if like screws were bending someone up, we call it bending up. Explain to the listener bending up. Bending up is where you get twisted up. You get folded. You get folded like a pretzel. So it's like restraining, isn't it? Like prisoners, there's been times where prisoners have assisted like officers in restraining like a prisoner you can't do that do you understand it's officers and the do you understand what I'm saying well yeah they get the ass kicked they don't think that they they can just bend up an inmate they get the ass kicked by like it's jungle justice isn't it yeah so why would you go in and bend someone up give an example um obviously if they were like violent That's like To be fair That's like the main reason You know But Yeah It's normally like violence If Like they're self harming And the self harming is getting bad Like you'll have to restrain them In a way where They just stop Like self harming Yeah but Like most of the time You ain't using the I won't lie to you You ain't using the Control and restraints You ain't using that man Like You're having it out bro Like it's It's Yeah So before Before you go in And you're folding someone up How many men How many screws are going in And when do you get the code To say right there's six of us going in Eight of us going How does it work It's There's How can I put it There's different situations In terms of When it comes to Like restraints So Say if A prisoner Was refusing transfer To another prison Yeah then you'll do they'll do something called like a planned intervention so that that's like the organised like listen you're getting bent up 100 % if you don't walk you're getting bent up like so that's called like a planned intervention so that's actually planned where you get like a briefing from like something called like the Oscar one he's like the one that runs the prison yeah he's not the governor but he like manages the prison operationally and then obviously they'll they'll brief you saying oh yeah they'll give you the whole load down of the prisoner why it's come to them you know like you being suited and all of that jargon and then you're going organised to like restrain them and then you get the and then you get the spontaneous restraints where like it could be kicking off and then landing or you have someone that refused the thing and then you have to restrain them like there and then do you understand so there's restraints happen at like should I say like different circumstances yeah okay circumstances have to be so what are you wearing then are you going in yeah yeah you're going give an example what you're wearing before you go it's like Power Rangers you get a suit in the mood it's like Power Rangers you actually you do get like a buzz from it you know the only time when you think you think to a dog like they tried to slip through a couple times like where like this guy's a unit he's a big boy and then they put me with like two females they say okay yeah Jeff like listen I figured this is mad.

9:40This is mad, bro. Have you seen the size of it? You're giving me two pretty females. It's not even like the ugly females, the pretty females as well, bro. It's mad. And in them situations, it's me and the inmate that's like, we're having it off, isn't it? Yeah. They go, ah, Jeffrey!

9:59Jeff Tieku: Were you a prison officer that would go and speak to them before? And go, look, this is what's about to happen. If you don't do that, you're going to get bent up and it's just going to be a pain in the ass for me and a pain in the ass for you yeah I was always the one to be fair they wanted to put me through there's something called like a negotiator like the negotiators are the ones like they use for when prisoners are pretty much disobedient but it's affecting like the regime of like the whole prison operationally but where I had like a good reputation with all the prisoners when it came to them when it came to like disturbances and that it was easy for me it was a walk in the park for me okay did you have a lot of respect in there oh yeah I'm the I'm the greatest prisoner of story you ever have on this show guaranteed yeah 100 % what prison officer do you know that wears Pradas were you going in wearing Pradas yeah that is did you not did you not feel like you were a prisoner for 10 years being in a prison every single day or when the hours you were working um You know, when I felt like I was a...

11:12Felt like a prisoner was when there was a guy, he got like a... He got an 18. Did he? What for? Attempted murder.

11:21Jeff Tieku: Attempted murder, okay. So he got an 18. And like years later, he's come back to finish off his sentence. I looked at him and I said to him, oh, what's it? Like, I've completely forgot that he got a big bird. But when he's come back, I said, did you get charged again? No I'm finishing off my sentence from that date I said no I need to get out of it yeah okay I was yeah because he's going to be finished he done that yeah because he's done it you're like yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah is that the realisation when you were like shit I've done as much as in yeah yeah yeah and then obviously you get like your badges in it so like you get a five year badge what you as an officer yeah yeah yeah and then you get a ten I missed out they sacked me yeah like I was supposed to get that badge I was a bit upset like I missed out bad for like a month I was fuming what'd you get sacked for?

12:14so basically they said yeah I would form inappropriate relationships with inmates inside the prison and I'll take them central London to like party in Mayfair like they said no I have like yeah poxy we went to tribunal they didn't even make it to tribunal they just paid me out they just thought I was like you know what's the worst thing you've seen in prison

12:40I've seen so much

12:45there's various in it there's like self arm I've always mentioned the story of when officers I caught an officer giving oral sex to their inmate

12:58Jeff Tieku: I swear to God I've opened this old door I've seen the given blows and I've just closed it you've gone okay get on with it whatever whatever innit I was actually shot I was sweating I was sweating that's how I was sweating what are you meant to do just turn blind you're supposed to like report innit yeah but the prison already didn't like me anyway so if they're hearing oh yeah like Jefferson is obviously oh fuck off he's on it yeah yeah he's just trying to take the heat of him he's like he's corrupt as he is I'm not corrupt is there many female officers there doing what they're doing with with with uh prison inmates loads loads really yeah it got what building relationships building relationships it got so bad yeah obviously I was like a trustworthy guy like everyone everyone just gossip you see prison is like a village yeah so everyone just gossips just talk shit amongst themselves so when it when it came to um like the females they would actually tell me the prisoners that they're on you know they'll say like listen I'm gonna I'm gonna go for it I'm gonna like move to say crack on I'm not gonna report it just turn blind eye done yeah you see all the ideas you know if you get caught that's on you innit yeah I'm not someone I'm not gonna I'm not saying I'm a snitch but like I just it all fair I just didn't care yeah yeah like every year that went by like I just I just began not to care because when I tried to do my job I got scrutinised for it so then I had to learn like I had to work smart you understand what I'm saying well I didn't incriminate myself like I was always safe but I still done my job like do you understand what I'm saying you know like I wasn't when you're in there has there been any prisoners that have given you the fear what do you mean as in like lumps in there are proper naughty you're just like mate he's another level yeah a few and you know it's I say Bruce Harry like he was he was peak man yeah what was he in there for um I think he was robbery I think he was like um I'm sure I'm sure it's to do with robbery but like arm robberies something crazy he was peak man in what way like in terms of violence okay he's on smoke like Julian's got a good story for that one.

15:29Pete, he was a serious man. Was he a big lump? Yeah, he was a unit. He was massive. Like, Karl Robinson, like, yeah, no, you see, I've met some serious people, man. Like, dangerous, like, and it's humbling because everyone likes me.

15:48Jeff Tieku: Yeah. You can't not like me. How does that even make sense? You can't come to Thameside and not like me. How does that make sense? Were you in Thameside for the whole 10 years? Yeah, So that was like the jail that I was sectioned in. Yeah. But then obviously they were crossed the planet to different prisons. So that's when I done my tour. Okay. You know. I was actually like, I felt like a celeb. But when you were going to other prisons, here he comes. Listen, I was getting serious ovations. Serious. Every jail that I went to, Woodhill, Doncaster, Dovegate, I was getting crowds. Why? because because of who I am first of all what because you're a personality and you were were you nice to everyone but firm at the same time yeah I was firm at fair yeah okay and I wore Pradas like yeah like you couldn't yeah you couldn't miss me man yeah you couldn't miss me man and that was me throughout the whole of my career yeah the whole 10 years different colour Pradas sometimes I'll take the piss yeah yeah I'll take the piss man you know I don't care.

16:57Jeff Tieku: So you're in Thameside. What was it like leaving there? What was the next prison you went to? And tell me what the difference was like. And where is Thameside? Woolwich. Woolwich, okay. Yeah. But I didn't leave Thameside. I got something called Cross the Plate. So I got something called Tornado. So Tornado is when, like, obviously, they get, like, a team. You basically go, like, mash up the whole wing to get your wing back, basically, innit? So, yeah, that's why I'd done that whole tour and going to like Loudoun, Dovegate, Doncaster, Woodhill. Yeah, because I was a tornado, innit? But then, obviously, even when you're a tornado, they treat, like, especially when I was from Thameside, and up north prison, they don't like prisoners.

17:41Yeah, they hate us. So they gave me the skank, they gave me the shittest jobs, bro. They gave, yeah, they done me dirty, man. Yeah, they done me dirty. What's the worst thing you've seen, like,

17:53Jeff Tieku: disgusting in prison?

18:00disgusting

18:05so there was this guy yeah that was in prison and it's funny because he asked about how I was like the other day but like he would he would get aroused yeah when you would like restrain him so he would not himself when you like you restrain him in it and there was a time on nights yeah Obviously I think he fancied me We used to work in the gym Me and my friend My mate Tom And obviously Okay cool If he swung that way Whatever innit But he was just being a nightmare He was just being a nightmare He just Kept being like He just being a prat innit He said Oh what's it Come inside Whatever He won't subscribe Bro he battered him But obviously that turned him on I'm thinking bro That's That's weird That's weird bro Yeah That's weird and then like obviously he'll self-arm so you have to go in and take all the like the thing so and he's swinging isn't it so we weigh him in again and he's he'll he'll nut himself like bro I think bro this is this is a bit mad yeah you know I've met some weird people man he was he was yeah one of the weirdest who else

19:20Jeff Tieku: you've met was weird um There was one guy, like, he would just stick things in his, like, temple. He would stick, like, bro, like, he would say, oh, what's it? Like, my head's bleeding. And you'll go to, like, the cell door, see, like, a pen in his head, pencil. Like, first of all, like, how did you do that? Yeah. You know? And, like, there's no pain, there's no resistance. And he was a unit. he was a tank have you ever played Street Fighter I've seen it yeah yeah yeah there's a guy called Garl yeah he looked like Garl he was built like he was a solid guy I don't think bro you're self-arming but that's coming from you you're a strong boy you can handle yourself there must be times when you're going in going he is dangerous I need proper support here yeah no no it's been loads of times go on but it's just it's just game on are you like game on let's have it then yeah yeah yeah Is everyone swinging?

20:22Jeff Tieku: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a formal restraint. No. Okay. It's game one. This is it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, we're throwing hands. Yeah. What, you think we're going into self-duty like, oh, yeah, yeah, no. The formal, you're going in there to win. You're getting licked with TVs. Like, it's going up. No, no, no, no. It's like a Royal Rumble. Have you ever watched Royal Rumble? Yeah, that's what it is. We're throwing bombs at each other. Yeah. It's my life against yours. Yeah. And I'm not having you saying that you knocked me out and say no no no bro I'm beating you bro I'm kicking your ass I'm kicking your ass man you know um yeah so most of the times it wasn't yeah especially like if it was in so the insult fights were the blockbuster that was that you know um you used to go off in there did you ever come across Ghost?

21:13oh that's my guy I do man yeah that's my guy man yeah he told me that he came on here how'd he come on here yeah yeah yeah

21:20Jeff Tieku: he done really well on here didn't he yeah yeah mate he is a unit he's a big boy mate he's like 6 6 '7 6 '6 20 stone yeah yeah muscle lump yeah no that's my guy man tells a good story as well yeah no no no but he was he was a serious guy in job serious man yeah how do you act obviously you become not friends but people trust in you did you find that massively helped your day to day living and going in there being a screw every single day rather than them going I can't stand him I can't stand him he's a screw rather than going I actually like him he's good to me he's fair yeah it must have helped your day to day and your own mind yeah it was easy for me it was easy for me like say cause again they didn't like me they don't who all of like the prison officers they were like nerds man okay I was like the most I was the guy I was the guy to be around I was the guy to work with yeah so I don't do like petty things like I was telling my boys like Justin they'll do like petty things where they'll put me on a wing like say if a wing is kicked off like the day before they're putting me on that wing and they're putting me on that wing with a media officer they're putting me on with like a 65 year old what am I doing with that

22:33how do you deal with that

22:36Jeff Tieku: you're like oh god I've got to deal with it no I'll use presidents I'll use them to my advantage so you'll get boys on side yeah okay you've got to use what you have in it you know I've done it with all of the inmates. How I, should I say, I wouldn't say conquered prison, but the way I overcame, should I say, difficult situations in prison, I always wanted to know who was the main man. Didn't care about the media guy. I needed to know who was the main man. Because who was the main man, you have control of everything. So give me an example what a wing would look like, and the listener out there who hasn't been to prison before.

23:16Jeff Tieku: How many people on a wing? What does it look like? If there's wrong ones on that wing, can you get them, pick them up and get them out and move to another wing? How does it work? Or if there's a wrong one on there, another prisoner's running that wing, do they just tuck in the wing and batter him and at the end they're leaving the wing? I like your questions, man. They're good questions. I haven't thought about it. It's a wing of this one. Freestyle. No, I like that question.

23:42So, okay, cool. When it comes to, should I say the wrong ones? they don't really survive long on the wing to be fair or they'll blend them in like in Tamside like they'll get blended in with like the foreign nationals you couldn't put a rungan on a double wing they're getting found out and with me I'll instigate it as well yeah what if you knew he was a rungan you were instigating yeah of course I would

24:05Jeff Tieku: yeah okay yeah he's surviving you're gonna know listen yeah yeah so listen I'm giving the heads up you know there was one time there was one time it went left or it went oh it was peak I've said to these lot yeah you see there's a wing here called IDTS is that what IDTS IDTS that's like the ones that take methadone and subutex in it okay okay and it was that they like you can't underestimate people that are like drug users because when you go send them to do a job they get the job done They get the job done better than these roadies, whatever you want to call them. So imagine, obviously, there was this runging on the wing.

24:53I said, oh, bro, like, this was, okay, cool. Like, listen, like, guys, I need them smoked, innit? But obviously, they were a bit simple, innit? When I said, oh, like, smoked, like, just give them, like, a couple slaps. I promise you, Dodgy. I've heard, like, the alarm go off. And then I'm hearing, oh, like, listen, we're going to have to airlift them. I think, oh my fucking, this wasn't the plan. I just wanted his ass kicked. I didn't want him to get airlifted. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I used to get them smoked. I didn't care, man. I'd get the hair.

25:26Jeff Tieku: So when you're in prison, how do you know, do other prisoners obviously find out who's who, what's he been banged up for, is he lying about what he's done, da, da, da, da. If there is on a wing, is there anything when there's sex offenders on there mixed with prisoners who have been banged up for armed robbery or violence or drugs or whatever do they get mixed? Yeah. They do? Yeah yeah sometimes like if it's like a high profile well the way if it was a high profile like sex offender they'll put them on the phone on a national wing but there's some that slip through the net like do you understand what I'm saying?

26:04They could be a sex offender but they put them on to you know should I say like the guards the wing I call it so the guards you're going to get interrogated you can't just hide in yourself

26:14Jeff Tieku: yeah because you're raising suspicions already yeah that's the thing with prison like you're damned if you do do you understand what I'm saying yeah you know as an officer what everyone's been banged up for yeah 100 % because I'm just nosy yeah because you want to know I'm just intrigued and you'll be surprised like even like with some of the gang they've got like sex offences on like their on like something it's called like their nomes isn't it say that again so like even when it comes to should I say like your gangbangers or like like the serious men there's a lot of men that have like sexual offences you know and no one knew no one would know no okay what's it like when people you know that someone's a proper sex offender would you go give the heads up to a few of the other boys all the time yeah him over there he's been listen exercise listen I'm on the yard so listen it's free fall I unlock everyone I go in the yard the alarm bells will go off because this guy's been wiped out I was on the yard yeah okay you know yeah you you see when it came to them offenses I didn't play I didn't play around that and people that like when they fell in debt you ain't coming off the wing because when when people they'll run up like a debt yeah so there's stuff called like canteen yeah like so you get canteen every week and then you get some fuckers that would like they'll take like a loan when it comes to like canteen day and they'll try to do a runner without paying like you couldn't do that on one week yeah okay you're staying there the rest of the shit and you're paying that until you pay yeah what do you mean by canteen once a week so canteen is where you get like like you have access to buy like bath soaps like everything innit like your daily utensils that's like your weekly shop type thing exactly your weekly shop yeah and how does it work then who's got who's got the money there's no cash in there how's it working no everything's like digital isn't it so people send money in to a prison yeah yeah so what you've got a grand yeah yeah or whatever 50 quid or 100 quid yeah yeah yeah then they go and buy it all yeah yeah yeah but then now I think they've limited now okay when I was at Thames those prisoners coming in with big money man they had like 4 or 5 grand okay you know but those were like the old timers yeah yeah yeah yeah so Even when it came to Like Can't eat It's funny When it comes to like Can't eat That's where you judge A man's wealth Okay okay Well you see what they're buying Yeah Okay Yeah yeah yeah So there's me like Some of them may get Like a Koli's noodle But I don't know that Like you know But you're laughing You're like Give me Finging fuck I don't know what 25 being like Koli's Like It's sadistic The humour The humour in general Is sadistic You're judging Yeah When you look at The canteen sheet and you're seeing how much like everyone's spending like that's do you get to see how much is in people's accounts yeah so you see if someone's got 4G's yeah I see I see like yeah so you can't stunt on me you can't you can't stall me and say oh yeah what's it I'm this big let's look at your prison have you ever brought drugs into a prison never have you ever brought a mobile phone for people nah you've never done anything you've kept yourself clean the whole time what am I postman nah do you know other do you know other loads screws are bringing stuff in I'd say like, say what, 85 %?

29:43Bringing in? Yeah. And how easy is it to get in as a screw? Do you get, you gotta have, like there was an, there was an operation, there was this, this Asian fellow and he was able to orchestrate an operation where, from like start to finish, he was able to get drugs, phones, from like, the start of like, basically, when you, where you walk into, obviously get search, he was able to orchestrate a whole operation where, yeah, he had like, he had like the whole job like on Smash when it came to the dispensing of drugs, like mobile. One man was able to do that.

30:19Jeff Tieku: Wow. Yeah. And what fucked it up, he had like a right hand. He was like, the right hand was like a send out. Yeah. And the right hand fell in love, fell in love with one of like the workers. And then obviously that's where they've caught, yeah, they've, yeah, they've caught him. So as a screw, screw's doing this? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So give me an example. you're going into work in a day are you getting a pat down every day what I was getting certain like nothing because everyone thought I was corrupt this is funny right because you're not corrupt but people thought you were corrupt yeah is that because you had a good relationship with everyone they're thinking hold on he's onto this he's helping everyone out ok but you just kept yourself clean yeah I did well I had to I couldn't and you know what it is it's just I've seen officers that's been on like an inmate's payroll say that again I've seen like an officer Like get humiliated Being on an inmate's payroll Okay yeah yeah It's embarrassing man Yeah So embarrassing man Like there was one officer Like obviously I hadn't seen him for a while So I've gone to like One of like The other officers Where's the officer gone And they said Oh boss he's gone on holiday To like Dubai One of the inmates I said oh How do you think They've afforded that Yeah yeah yeah Do you understand what I'm saying And like the word goes round It's embarrassing man I hold my whole self too high You can't chat for me Respect for doing that Yeah If you know they thought you were corrupt and you weren't Even more respect Yeah no no no Never I couldn't So how So the officers you know How are they bringing it in if they're getting a pat down How are they bringing mobiles in and giving it to prisoners Like I said there's a system Yeah You know So even when it comes to officers getting search 100 % they've got someone in like the search area letting them through you see what I'm saying okay so as you're coming into a prison how many doors you got to get through till you start work give me an example you're coming into work at what time how's your day look what's your day look like so your shift is 7.30 so it's called a main yeah so 7.30 to 6.30 so like obviously like you're you make your way from like the car park yeah so like there's this is the normal day yeah so like as you're approaching like the search area you press the button yeah but they knew how to tune it when it came to the JF I was supposed to get searched everyone else they weren't getting searched they weren't getting searched so then obviously you'll press the thing if it's green you can go through if it's red you're getting searched okay and is it ad hoc are they just cherry picking yeah yeah yeah well they say they are yeah but I tested I tested I think now this is rigged yeah You know, they've got like a doll.

33:07Do you understand what I'm saying? Jeff's coming, whack it on me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, and then obviously you'll go through, like, that entrance. When you've passed, you know, should I say, when you've been searched, you then go get your keys.

33:21Jeff Tieku: One fella searching you, pat down, a quick pat down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it depends on, if it's like, should I say, the blockbuster there. You've got the sniffing dogs, you've got the governor, you've got, yeah, you've got all of them. Okay. You know, rubbing their hands, waiting for... Yeah, rubber glove. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah man always i always got got drafted i didn't care though so you got through that bit and then what's the next bit uh you you get your keys you get um your handcuffs um and you'll have like a baton but the only side they only gave the bands like recently that they hadn't like from 2012 i would say to 2020 19 we didn't have bands okay it was just straight yeah yeah yeah that's what it was man yeah we didn't have batons and I think even I heard that they've got like the parva spray like they've got like pepper we didn't have none of that it was straight hands it was judged by your hands you know but yeah every wing that I've worked on like I had it on yeah my wing was always the best wing in the prison so you go you've got your keys and then what you've got your own office space and then are you just walking up and down and chatting to prisoners or are you building relationships what are you doing no so like obviously you get assigned to a wing innit yeah and how many men on that wing roughly well officers oh no prisoners 90 90 and then how many people get that you plus how many more people on a good day free officers on a terrible day it could be just you on your own you know my time time was terrible man it was bad you had to you had to use your own initiative like to survive did you ever think did you ever anything come on top where you thought I might lose my life here what

35:08Trying to think of a situation, man. Bear with me. Let me think. I went through, to be fair, I went through like, I wouldn't say like living my life. But they were... Like Danger Zone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were tasty because they put all baby oil on like the floor and they, both of them did like, they stripped naked. I've gone through so many situations Go on They both stripped naked What two inmates? Yeah yeah two inmates Like obviously They were getting transferred And at the time ISIS was Serious jail They used to call ISIS crisis You go there You're getting wiped out So obviously They were big They were in their boxes And yeah They were just oiled up

35:54Jeff Tieku: Basically saying And then they were obviously Oiled up I ain't leaving Yeah yeah yeah We ain't going And then they were oiled up the floor So I promise you Like Listen You're fighting with them For a good 45 Cause every time you grab them You're just slipping off them

36:12So I'll go to the office And I'll say bro Get me like sand Or like soil Like go do it I'll grab them there bro And it's frustrating isn't it So when I actually do grab them Bro I'm thumping you man Because I'm Like Yeah It's like Yeah it was just difficult To get a hold of someone That was like oiled up man it was just but it's frustrating isn't it so when I do get on I'm I'm waiting you in man I have every right to

36:38Jeff Tieku: so if if if a prisoner doesn't want to leave you've got no choice in it yeah zero choice yeah nice you get they get a chance like you know like are you going to walk I'll say 30 % of the time when a prisoner's saying that he's not going he's not going like he them ones I tell you I can't lie especially when there's like two in the cell like they sometimes yeah you get a situation where one is getting transferred and the other prisoner's not do you understand what I'm saying yeah and it's funny because the one that's getting transferred say to the prisoner he may not even know the prisoner but he said to the prisoner oh what's up are you going to back me like you know like you get like funny situations like that we'll wipe them both out anyway.

37:30Yeah. You know? And it's nothing personal. Hmm. You know? It's not... Like, when it came to, should I say, extracting, like, a prisoner, like, depending on how that prisoner moves, even... If they move... If we're going into transfer, like, one of the prisoners to another establishment, Yeah. if that other prisoner even breathes, like, no, we're taking them out. We're taking them out. Yeah, we're taking them out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

37:57Jeff Tieku: we're just taking them out we'll sort things out later what's it like when you've got when you've got it under order a wing you know what I mean you've got the respect you've got it under order da da da a few people leave what's it like when some faces come in do you know those faces that are coming in and do you know their history before they arrive yeah 100 % so you know all that yeah all of that okay because I need to know who's coming on my wing yeah and the wing that they put me on that was like the the game back it was the worst wing in a gel yeah you know So anyone that would Come onto my wing And at that time Every wing that I've gone to I've always Should I say Made it like a family orientated Everyone knows Their position So that makes The job so much easier Because everyone knows What they're doing And everyone knows What they want And then obviously You get your Incentives Do you understand What I'm saying So When an unfamiliar face Came onto the wing You know You get them idiots That will come onto the wing and they'll think like, yeah, they're the guy and they'll get their ass kicked.

38:59Jeff Tieku: Yeah, okay. Early doors. Yeah, early doors. Listen, you come into the office, bro, we'll just weigh them in. We'll just beat you up. Yeah. You know? But then like, I'll say like more time like, now when it came to, should I say, unfamiliar faces, if they had like, should I say, gang issues, I'll get them on straight away. Because I know they're going to get, they're going to get wiped out. Okay. give an example gang issues what do you mean so in Tempside there was you had different should I say like every wing was from a gang yep so if if one wing or I don't know if someone from a wing had beefed someone from like C when they were to meet each other like it would just just go off in it yeah okay you know so like A-Wing was the most volatile because A-Wing's induction so again you don't know who's got issues with who where's induction everyone's coming in new the moment you're like yeah it's going off because you can't identify who's do you understand who's beefing who basically or who's in conflict with who you know when you're there do you notice that a lot of prisoners know a lot of prisoners yeah before they come in They've got the best communication.

40:27Jeff Tieku: Yeah, okay. They'll tell me that, oh, I don't know, like this person's coming in today. How do you know this? Yeah, yeah. You know, their method of communication is fascinating. Yeah, go on. You know, so like, for example, like inmates knowing when an inmate's coming into like the establishment. How do you know that? Mobiles? Yeah. Yeah, but there's something like... They don't have access to it, but they know. You know. Even to the extent where they're able to identify what cell the prison is. So they're usually like mirrors. Okay. Yes. Put their hands out of their mirrors to see what's coming.

41:18Jeff Tieku: Yeah, yeah, yeah. To see what's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then obviously everyone's doing that. But you don't know, like... You understand? when you're like a new prisoner or whatever you're kind of your head's everywhere innit but there's these pythons that they say okay yeah sweet they're on you yeah so exercise some more I've got you you know it's yeah I learned a lot from that man I learned a lot from that so you're saying exercise some more is everyone bang up for 23 hours is it just one hour you're allowed in the yard no no no it's like half an hour half an hour yeah so give me an example give me an example of what you're doing when they're allowed out is there a certain time of the day they're going like three o 'clock everyone's out yeah yeah yeah so in the morning they get exercise so my regime was in the morning you get exercise and you'll just go around you unlock everyone's doors you unlock everyone and then they all come out yeah they all come out yeah and you're just are you floating around with them pretty much because to be fair it makes the day go quicker okay and then you're learning about like with me I needed to know everyone yeah you know You ain't slipping Under the way I need to know Everyone that saw my wing The wing was like my city Yeah okay So I need to know everyone Even if I was to go And leave and come back I need to know I need to know who's Who's fresh Yeah yeah yeah I was yeah I was very good at that I needed to Everyone knew me And I knew them When you're unlocking everyone And then you're just floating around You could be attacked at any time Yeah Is there ever a time you've pissed someone off so much or they've pissed you off, you've had beef with someone who's, he hates you, you hate him and then you're unlocking him and he's got no respect for you and you can't stand him.

43:00I'll tell you, I'll tell you a funny time, I was on a foreign national wing and a foreign national wing at the time, it was even like the pussy wing, innit? Go on, foreign national wing,

43:10Jeff Tieku: give me an example. Yeah, so, it's like everywhere, it's like a mixture. Go on. Like everyone, countries, Poland, Ukraine, Albania. Do they all stick to one? They have like their own On exercise yard You can identify Who's who You know You know the Albanians You know the Polish You know the Lithuanians Romanians Like you know what I'm saying So imagine I'm working on A foreign national wing And like This guy's crept up Behind me And he put a bin on my head

43:41Put a bin on his own phone Like I'm thinking Fucking hell What's this And then he's taking Like my radio He's taking my radio as well So he put a bin on my head And he'd take you and like my radio. I'm thinking, bro, when I get this guy, I'm going to batter him. I've got to investigate for that, to be fair. But imagine, that's when I knew I was loved by the inmates. But even like foreign nationals, like they blocked him off. And like they've been able to like get my radio. As soon as I got my radio, I said, yeah, I'm going to batter you. So I mashed him up upstairs. And then I called my officers and said, yeah, bro, we're going to mash him up again.

44:15Like, yeah, Julian, yeah, Julian. Yeah, he advocated for that as well. Oh, yeah.

44:22Jeff Tieku: Tell me, what about shanks? Have you seen shanks in prison? I've seen shanks. Are you finding them all the time? Or have you got to raid someone's prison cell? I've heard rumours about it. Bam, we've got to find it. Have you seen someone shank someone? I've seen everything. I've seen like a serious shank made out of soap. Out of soap? Yeah, out of soap, yeah. it was like it was like a sword I remember they framed it it was that good they framed it they framed it like so when you when you should I say come into like the prison like they've got like a cabinet of where they show all like the contrabands and like what's been confiscated yeah that shank made it a serious shank out of soap yeah yeah yeah I'm sure it was an Eastern European that made it but it was serious shame, it was sharp, you know, but like, when it comes to like, stabbings, I've seen loads of them as well, I've seen people like, they, I've seen like, someone get chopped, and I could see like, their teeth, like their skin is completely split, and I could see like, their teeth, like you know, seen someone, he got chopped like, in the middle of his head, he stole like a phone, off like these two guys, this was on a wing, called E-Wing, like he stole on the phone he got chopped and like you can see his skull like I've seen some gruesome yeah man I've seen some gruesome assaults you know seen serious assaults with like prison officers as well like prison officers get to man fortunately when I worked out I never ever apart from like the bin incident I didn't like you know that's actually quite a funny instance yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:13I got binned. I got binned. I got binned.

46:16Jeff Tieku: Are there officers in there who you know you're thinking they're going to get it because those inmates, mate, really don't like you and there's going to be a point where they know that you're going to get jumped? Loads of times. Have you seen officers get jumped? Yeah, I've seen them get weighed in. I've seen officers get knocked out clean. Like, yeah, clean, man. And what's your thought process when that's happening? You're like, I'm going to back you or are you just like, fuck it, I ain't getting involved in this one? No, no. obviously I'll stop it but most of the like I said I've got I've always had like a good relationship with like their mates so the moment I run to them and say like listen you don't have to I'll just speak sense into them but the officers lay flat out I can't do there's not much that I can do with you laying flat out I can't do nothing not much that I can do like you see what I'm saying but

47:06there's officers that they'll bring it onto themselves you know like yeah in the morning you get something called like briefings in it so they'll give you an account of like the details of what's happened like all the incidents that's happened it's all mentioned in that from the day before yeah okay so that's all mentioned in the morning briefing yeah and you're just finding out that this officer got the same officer got a soldier soldier soldier i'm thinking bro you bring on to yourself bro because you finally there's going to be a day where you have to work with it and then you think to yourself yeah no i understand why you get a old you're a div do you know what

47:43Jeff Tieku: listening to you it's interesting I had George Shipton on I don't know if I know have a listen to that episode he was old school prison officer everyone loved him ok he's like mid 50s 60s you've got the same both of you got the same attitude and I think the prisons have massively missed someone like him and here and now I think the prisons are missing someone like you yeah no 100 % do you know what I mean like to go go back in because like you're saying there's a load of divs in there and if I was banged up hopefully I never will get banged up but I know a lot of people have been banged up they're on the screws yeah if you're rude we're on you yeah you know and what's happening now is these young kids I'd imagine are going in getting suited and booted and going I'm a prison officer but haven't been trained actually to deal with people and talk to people like men and proper people you need life skills to survive in that environment you know but from what I've been told I've heard it it's just got worse hasn't it I've heard you know they're just employing anyone you know but like from when we opened Thameside we had solid offices man like game like on smoke like do you understand but then as the years went by it's got softer and softer soft yeah even to the extent if like if a prisoner like assaults you you're getting suspended you know and with me I never ever went out for should I say looking for trouble yeah you see in prison you get officers like you get should I say officers like with weird personalities like they get like a a buzz off a buzz off bending someone like bending someone up it's three against one if you lose yeah bro you're a joke man you're a joke man three against one and then I don't know it builds like an ego oh yeah yeah we're gonna bend them up it's not until when you come across someone that's serious man let's see how you do you know and it's funny because they always get found out like they go they go on this bully boy run and then you get that one prisoner that day he's getting transferred today that officer yeah yeah yeah get him before I go yeah yeah yeah and you see officers crumble fold oh no Jeff no no no Jeff ain't Jeff ain't on this one today I want to see what you're on you see what I'm saying how rife is drugs in prison?

50:09when I was there it was like war isn't it you know um and even even when it came to my wing I knew everyone that had like cannabis do you understand what I'm saying but don't disgrace me like I know you're gonna smoke your drink but you can like smoke that after bam because I don't even smoke you see what I'm saying so you're disrespecting me in that aspect you see what I'm saying but it's something that you can't stop you can't stop it you're gonna get you're going to get an officer that's struggling in life he's going to bring in drugs if he's not getting it you're going to get your drugs through your drones if you're not going to get your drugs through your drones you're going to get your drugs through solicitors you're not going to get your you understand what I'm saying you can't you can't stop it you can try and minimise it as much as you can but like listen what drugs were in the prisons when you were there?

50:58Spice cannabis miss.

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53:05I wouldn't, like, cocaine didn't get snuck in. You couldn't, like, you know, on the IDTS wing, see the detox wing, they'll be given something called Subutex. So somehow they're able to convey it to that cocaine. so you didn't you didn't really get cocaine there was more spice and cannabis you know what is spice what did you see when people were taking spice absurd behaviour yeah you know again there was there was one guy he was like a constant he was just a rice head innit like people that take a lot of spice we call them rice heads innit and I knew he was gonna die and I knew that he didn't have time as well so as soon as I saw that yeah he was just going around being I bummed him off the wing I've sent it to him when I sent it to that wing yeah he's down on that wing I just you just know innit you know and it's such a dangerous drug as well it's not a drug that you can manage it's not like cannabis and you know once you like OD is yeah it's serious

54:13Jeff Tieku: how are people taking Spice? various I've seen them like pill like paper and then they've made like a cigarette yeah it's various man you know or like they'll just light it and smoke it yeah you know like it's just it's horrible what it makes makes people turn into isn't it when I see it I'm just like Jesus Christ it's sad it is sad but is it they're doing spice up because it doesn't stay in the system for as long yeah yeah yeah they've got like a Like you can drain spice from your system from drinking like orange juice. Yeah. Yeah. What was the other one? Where like you wouldn't find it in like your urine.

55:00There's so many ways in which you weren't able to like catch them. Yeah. With like spice in their system. Like they'll get nicked and they're getting away with it. You know. What about hot water, sugar?

55:15Jeff Tieku: You've seen that? I've seen everything. I've seen everything. Tell me. I want to know, man. I'm intrigued. I've seen everything, man. It's lovely having a prisoner officer telling it how it is from his side rather than all the criminals I've had on telling it from their side. You know, I've had like, should I say, famous UK rappers. I've had to take them to hospital. Do you understand what I'm saying? And that's them getting kettled. It's funny because they both put hits on each other. and both of them are like outside like they're pretty like famous you understand what I'm saying but even with like the hot water and like if you want to do someone over like hot water and jam like they ain't recovering from it yeah hot water and jam what the fuck it makes it up I'm just whacking yeah yeah yeah you're done it's over that and and oil hot water and oil you're finished hot water and sugar you you can survive yeah in terms of like replenishing with like the skin but hot oil don't forget hot oil and oil forget you're done you ain't surviving it's over have you seen someone actually being kettled yeah loads of times tell me what obviously the reaction is fucking brutal but what what actually happens to the flesh like um like even if you touch them yeah just everything like the skin's just gone like you can just see white flesh like you know and it's mad because like I've seen situations where like inmates have been kettled reacting aggressively and then the officers will restrain them I'm thinking are you stupid like they're restraining the geisha's been kettled yeah right okay why yeah because he's getting aggy yeah I'm not fucking surprised you you know like so even when it came to the decision making in that like it just didn't even make sense man you know but when I've witnessed it and I've when I've had to deal with it again I know how to de-escalate I don't need to touch it but I could use my body as like a shielding device where like do you understand what I'm saying like you know I don't have to put hands on you and obviously I'll be talking to you and you're gonna listen to me because yeah I just know how to get through to people yeah yeah yeah you know it's a life school isn't it being a big You've got a very good skill of it.

57:44Jeff Tieku: Yeah. So that gueser gets kettled. Are you taking him off the wing? Are you then putting it in, the gueser's kettled him? What is he getting? So like, okay, cool. So, if, if that incident's happened, depending on who, on like the officers that's on the wing, you get the pussy officers, if they were to see that they're pressing the alarm, and all the officers are going to come and support that person, You get officers like me That will deal with the situation I don't need to press my alarm I never have In my 10 years I've never ever pressed my alarm Didn't have to So when them situations Would happen Obviously Most of the time I'll just Like you know I'll separate Like the inmates The one that's initiated The attack I'll say Like listen You've done it on camera I'm gonna have to nick you So they know That they're fucked Okay cool Tomorrow morning They're going down For their nicking The one that's been kettled I'll get like healthcare care like I'll get I'll get like should I say treatment administered to them and I wouldn't just leave them you know so the geese are getting nicked what's he getting it can go so like in in you know you've got like a something called like a it's like adjudication like a mini court case yeah but it's in the prison so like normally when you hold nickings like you're basically getting punished well it depends actually because obviously if depending on how serious should I say the assault is you can get outside charges is that right yeah wow never heard that before yeah wow look at the see the nonce what was his name the one that died like these three guys they're all doing life yeah and they've got to beat up this nonce yeah Yeah, they've called outside judges and they got laughed off again.

59:43Jeff Tieku: Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was just... No, no, no. I thought it'd stay inside. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, if you get caught with a phone, that stays... No, no, no. Something big, killing a non-stop. Fucking non-stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, like, things like, I don't know, if you were to, like, destroy, like, something, the property of, like, the prison. Right, okay. That's internal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay So that geezer there Who's kettled him What would he get outside He'd have to get a call outside Yeah You're going to get another two years I'm talking Yeah yeah yeah 100 % But then sometimes There's been times Where it's been referred Like To police outside And they've been able to Like you know Beat the case They haven't been like Yeah There's been a few You know Don't know how they've done it But they've done it Have you ever Been around you've obviously seen everything right I've seen everything what about a situation when someone's shit in something or done something like that you hear about all the time I love it I've had I've had people I had this guy he chewed his poo he chewed his poo and he spat at me he said yeah he was in healthcare yeah he was in healthcare he chewed his own shit and spat it at you and he spat at me yeah how did you react you see what happened to you Now, I've looked at my shirt.

1:01:15Jeff Tieku: Yeah. I said to him, I'm going to see you tomorrow. Like, you know, I couldn't sleep. The aim was for me to get this guy. I needed to get this guy. I didn't care. That day, I didn't give a fuck about anyone. I needed to get this guy. Even to this day, I still remember his name. Go on. A blonde hair fella. His name was called Russell. Yeah, Russell. Blonde hair fella. wallet I said bro you see when I come you see when I see you don't even know the binging that you're going to get bro I'm going to I'm not surprised I absolutely destroyed him man what did you what did you do are you waiting for everyone to go out and go out and go out because he was on something called like a three man unlock he was on something like what's that a three man unlock so a three man unlock means like it goes according to like the danger like the risk that you impose should I say to general population so he where see when you're on a mad wing you're gone yeah because prison's mad as it is anyway so when you're on like the healthcare wing like you're brown bread you're done like you are kaput so he was on that wing didn't it but when he was on a free man because he was a hazard like the healthcare officers were pussies anyway There was only two healthcare officers That were like actually On job Yeah You know But healthcare wing was like It was like a retirement wing In it So obviously He had this fuckboy That spat shit at me I said yeah bro You haven't had your ass kicked That's why you're able to do All of this And it wasn't even my wing I was just working there Like Like On like The other On like the other shift Wasn't my wing So obviously When he done it to you I was like no You haven't been being that's what it is I feel you can just go around spitting poo I'm going to kick your ass so where was it then was it in his cell was it out no no it was in his cell you opened up the flap or you just gone in no no no so I've gone in so the next day obviously you have to be smart when you want to when you want to kick someone's ass you don't just go in and kick them you don't do that you got a plan so obviously I said to him I'm going to get you tomorrow because your cell's a shithole unless if you don't tidy up this cell Oh yeah bro, I'm going to get you tomorrow.

1:03:41Like, I'm going to get you. I'm going to, I'm going to. So imagine obviously, like you get someone called like the Oscar one, innit?

1:03:48Jeff Tieku: Yeah. I've tricked the Oscar one. I said, oh like, listen, like this inmate, like he's, he's, he's living, the way he's living is, like he can't, he can't live like that. And we know that he's a madman. So give me the pleasure so I can move him, innit? Because I want him to live in a clean cell. Oscar 1 Div he said yeah I've kicked his ass as soon as they I've beaten the life out of him bro what do you mean I've kicked his ass man I have no regrets I don't care no sure yeah yeah yeah that's liberties right that's the lowest of the life yeah the lowest of the world I beat him to the lowest of the lowest he definitely yeah yeah man does it happen often what's that around feces and like what's the stories you hear when someone just spreads all around their cell oh yeah if they're getting transferred they'll shut up the whole cell shut up themselves you do think to yourself like you know like how are you able to just sit there yeah the cell's a big cell you know it's like are they one man two men no no one man one man if they're like high risk you know I haven't seen like two man shit themselves up but I've seen them like they've like baby-rolled themselves like do you understand what I'm saying but like if it's like single-cell it's mainly the lifers that do that you know or the ones that are getting deported the ones that's getting deported they do mad they'll do mad things there was a guy called he was from like Algeria so he had like a big like dollop of shit and he was just pinging it at people on the wing people are ducking it though yeah one Algerian guy he was getting like deported what did you notice in there did you notice that there's more foreigners in the prisons these days than British people when you were there um yeah um was there more foreign I would yeah yeah for example okay cool So, like, when it came to, like, the sex offenders, you know, black or white, like, they're coming onto, like, the foreign national wing.

1:06:16And I found, yeah, there was one period where, like, the wing was just full of, like, sex offenders, you know. I don't know When it came to Yeah Like when it came to Should I say Like the stereotypes

1:06:42I'll say I don't know It's a difficult question to answer It's difficult But there was one period Where like the like the sex offenders were growing so then we had to disperse them onto like different wings it was you know like it was it was it was growing like ridiculously the the offences were horrific you know they're now getting protected as well so you can't really get them mashed but I always found a way to get them mashed up

1:07:16Jeff Tieku: when he comes under a sex offender is that also a sex offender who's done stuff to kids or they kept separate ooh all the same so it's just under a sex offender but you as an officer you can delve into his books and see what he's done yeah yeah yeah okay you know but like the sex offenders like you get your sex offenders like sexual assault yeah then you get your your serious ones and then you get your yeah you get your the serious ones man yeah how do you deal with that if you're you clock to him you go mate I know what you did to that kid I always got them smoked you got them smoked or everyone everyone got smoked yeah like you come to my wing you're a sex offender you're getting smoked and you're getting moved off the wing it's like if you're going healthcare you're definitely coming off the wing I'm getting you smoked you know especially when there was some like they were they would gloat about it what they they'll boast like they'll boast about it people say that as men who have no no no when you're getting your arse kicked you'll know what Do you understand what I'm saying?

1:08:23But yeah, I had a good streak when it came to dealing with, shall I say, I was familiar with, yeah,

1:08:32Jeff Tieku: Was there others like you who would act the same, going, I'm an officer, he needs to get done, make sure he gets done, because I've seen what he's done with kids and women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had like a solid team for that. Good. You couldn't bring sex offenders on my way. And if you did, They're getting smoked. You couldn't prove it. You couldn't catch me. My paper was on point. I wasn't there.

1:09:00I wasn't there. But I don't know how long was going off, though. But yeah, I had a reputation for that. But you couldn't catch me.

1:09:09Jeff Tieku: Good. You couldn't catch me, brother. Good. Obviously, being on there now, still can't catch me. You can't prove. Find me the ones that I've done over. Tell me the prison day, then. do you say they're getting let out for half an hour and that's it or are they getting let out for two half an hours a day when I was there an hour yeah so when I was there like obviously like you get something called mass movement so mass movement is like at 8.45 so that's where all the prisoners they go to their designated areas 8.45 in the morning yeah so they go to their to do like their activities or whatever which is like what like art English maths like level one level two yeah um some some like open universities like it's just different activities yeah it's like an activity based like movement yeah yeah yeah yeah and then obviously you get um depending on the wing because there was four floors but the wings were split in two so you liaise with the wing alright are you going to do exercise in the morning or exercise in the afternoon when you decided who's going to do exercise whenever wherever say if I had to do like exercise in the morning the exercise was about what half an hour yeah but I was smart I would lead that into them getting like their lunch so it's like it's just working smart and then you know they'll respect you a lot more that you're not being like a punk when it comes to like their time you know so that gave them like should I say a bit more like breathing space like lunch is what like to feed that whole wing so about 45 minutes so that gives them like breathing so I was very very smart so even when it came to lock up it was easy for me like you see what I'm saying when was it the most volatile part of the day was it round people going for lunch dinner when you know when they had something called association so association is when everyone's let out one time a day No, no, no, no.

1:11:19It's every day. It's just, they're let out for like an hour. It all comes down to like your wing, innit? But normally association is like an hour. But that's where the carnage, people are getting their ass kicked in the cells, like, yeah. People are getting ransacked, people are getting extorted. Like association was like the most volatile.

1:11:40Jeff Tieku: And where would you be when that's going on? Could be in the office. So you can be, are you at the office when you're looking down and through a sheet screen you can see everything that's going on? No, so, the cell up in like different jails have different cell ups so like with Thameside like the office was a cell that's just been it's been like renovated as like an office now but initially it was a cell wasn't it you know so like you you actually had to patrol the wing to to identify any I don't know situation that it isn't like there wasn't it's not like H &Ps where there's like a glass pane and like no no no you have to actually patrol yeah you actually like the same with Dovegate same with Loudum Woodhill as well which ones when you go through those prisons ones you mentioned you've got Thameside which is your main one what was that like compared to moving to the other ones you did did you like what did you like what was your favourite out of the lot Thameside Thameside that was your home yeah that was my home But why did you go and do that once?

1:12:48Jeff Tieku: Were they sending you there? No, I was intrigued, you know. Oh, intrigued to see the other one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was intrigued. Okay. Like, when people used to say, oh, like, listen, like, when you go to, not, they're called, like, dispersals, or, like, when you go to, like, life is jail, different grave, I was intrigued. I don't want to see, like, the ones that were, like, sent, see, on my wing, like, I had a lot of, should I say, inmates that were doing big birds. and so we'll send them to Loudoun and like where Loudoun was like a B-C-A-P you're doing most of your bird there so I wanted to see them like you know what did you notice about going to a jail where there's a load of lifers they're unpredictable

1:13:38you see when I was in Thames I was very cocky I didn't like when you go into like when you go into a cell you're supposed to do something like shoot the bolt so that protects you from not having yourself locked in okay I never ever done that in Tamside I was cocky I didn't you know you ain't locking me in and if you are I'm knocking you out but when I went to Lardin I was shooting the ball okay it's a different it's different meds it's mad

1:14:06Jeff Tieku: did you notice the vibe change immediately when you arrived there 100 % there was one wing called I think it was called L wing soulless I'm looking I'm looking at the years that people are doing the short years 22 years I'm thinking this is me and then the reason why when it came to should I say that that wing had me on edge like I left that wing I wasn't trying to go back there again I must have done the exercise and these inmates are joking they're busting jokes with each other whatever come up to the exercise yard and then yeah one of the inmates tried to chop him I'm thinking about you were both laughing with each other yeah unpredictable unpredictable yeah okay I said no no no listen I've done my my little stint here and you just keep stitching me up get me fucking to London get me back to Stem so you know where was it what Loudoun in the country yeah like I think it's not in them and how long did you do up there for I think I've done I've done two weeks but they just kept sending me everywhere why why would they send you everywhere because the cunts first of all it's a cunt yeah like the reputation that goes around especially like with officers innit whenever I like I got cross-applied to jail they said oh no there's a guy called Jeff like he's sick like that I was gassed like I was getting blooded ovation when I come into like this shit I was gassed I won't lie to you but like obviously they thought like Jeff was like he could solve everything he gets along with everyone everyone likes him yeah yeah yeah you're gonna have a thing you know if you were if you got a phone call now saying we need to get Jeff back and we need Jeff to train people up like how Jeff was would you take the opportunity?

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1:17:33No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. but I still do my part because I get a lot of people that's watching me on like podcasts you know and I don't I don't move like a div when they ask me oh what's it I want to be a prison officer what's their advice like give me advice I'll actually give them advice like I'll take my time out yeah and I'll like give them advice on how to be a very good prisoner no you're not going to be me you're not going to get another Jeff let's just get that you're not getting another Jeff but But you can...

1:18:06Jeff Tieku: You can work up to it. Yeah, you can even be able to work up to it. I was the bee's knees. I was serious. Why did you leave? I got sacked. I know, but that second, did you ever try to fight it and go, do you know what? No, no, no. I like my job. Or when you got sacked, you're like, you know what, I'm done with it. I've done 10 years. No, no, I've done. I've done. I was done. I've done. I'd seen too much. And it was affecting... Does it affect your relationships outside of prison when you go home when you've seen stuff in the day? Yeah, like I become Like nonchalant Okay Like if I was to see someone I don't know, get stabbed That's That's just like That's nothing Yeah You know, so Things which are And then like Should I say like Your sense of humour becomes more Darker Yeah, okay, yeah You understand what I'm saying?

1:18:53Yeah, I do You know And then it will affect your mental health as well Because like Like I'll go to sleep I'll wake up randomly In the morning I'll say to my younger brother what's your prison number what cell you in okay so I need to get out

1:19:10Jeff Tieku: kind of like institutionalised really isn't it yeah yeah yeah have you ever have you ever been walked the streets and people have been banged up with you going Geoff how you doing mate I was banged up with you I was I was four years with you yeah all the time and obviously where I've gone around TikTok like for this I talk about a situation where some guy there was a prison that he cooked his poo in the kettle. And yeah, he cooked his poo in the kettle. And he's thrown it out at an inmate. Obviously, they've made like a meme of it. They used it for the Premier League. They've used it for the World Cup.

1:19:43So, on like a normal day, I'm getting stopped by like everyone. So, oh yeah, can I take like a video and... Mate,

1:19:50Jeff Tieku: hold on a minute. Someone's, tell me that story. Someone's done what with their poo. Go on. He's, he's cooked his poo in a kettle to throw at someone. To throw it at like a lifer. This was when I was working in a place called the Segregation Unit. So obviously, what's that? Before, in the seg, you were allowed to come out for your food. But when I answered the app, I said, no, no, you ain't coming out again. You're barely even... I used to even con them. When it even came to even giving them exercise, I would go to their doors at 7 o 'clock in the morning. Yeah, you get up at 7 o 'clock in the morning.

1:20:29Do you understand? that's how should I say horrifying that day was you know so obviously this life I owed this other fellow money so and this life I said no you know what suck your mum you're not getting your money it was a lot of money to be fair and they were they were paring next door to each other so he thought you know what fuck this obviously he said to me where his mum passed he said that he was already game from when he did it he said the first strike was when he didn't get paid the second strike he said no fuck this I'm going to deal with you properly. So all night, somehow, you've got access to a kettle.

1:21:04Thames are the dumb. You're not allowed kettles in the seg. They'll give you a flask, innit? Somehow, this guy had a kettle. So all night, you had bedsheets wrapped around these and just cooking these poo. Cooking these poo. And remember, where's the second game show you do? You only see them once, innit? You ask them if they want exercise, to say no like or whatever so you don't see them again basically you don't see them until like dinner so obviously even like that day he refused exercise so even obviously when we've asked him okay cool like you don't want to exercise whatever he's still cooking up his food you know so obviously when I've let him out to go get his food he just dashed it he dashed it through like the flat of like the of where the lifer was residing so did he call the life a rap to open the flap yeah yeah yeah no he's just like obviously he just opened the flap yeah because you don't get you don't get time and like just throw it in yeah but I didn't know what he was doing at the time yeah like I'm yeah I was just I was bathed so obviously when that's horrible when he's still when he's still chucking it and he's coming to it and yeah and I smell it oh god

1:22:26Jeff Tieku: what's it like when someone what's it like has a prison ever been in a lockdown when you're there yeah like a full on yeah have you ever had riots have you come across riots before yeah that's what that's the whole reason why I went to like the different prisons whenever like it would kick off or whenever there was like a riot like Loudoun kicked off yeah B-cat the riots are tasty you know it's good you get a good little buzz like from it get your briefing you get some like horrific story like you get people like the Nationals the Nationals think they're the bees knees they think that they're from like the Avengers they behave like they're from the Avengers they got their little hang grenades and like they really think that they're the dog's they're not the dog's they're just twats but you get like your brief film and it's kind of like your adrenaline is going innit you're getting butterflies because it's you against them innit they've got access to show like when it comes to riots like when like prisoners take over like a wink you know like it's it's your life against theirs because i have access to everything yeah okay you know like like knives you know they make their own grenades like so how how would a riot start for example and then escalate from one from so there was this guy called um his name was called like nelson in it but he was like a big fish you know I think the situation happened where I think he didn't get he didn't get his parole okay so obviously he's thought like you know what fuck this he's got a big influence and this he's righted he's what's it called the riot in the prison called hideout you know so where he didn't get his parole it could be from anything but obviously key situation he didn't get his parole so he says you know what it's going off and then like from there again he was an influence so you get people he's whispering in people's ears people are giving roles you know and then yeah it's not difficult to cause a riot man you know I can cause a riot and what goes for you as a prison officer knowing that a riot is happening what's the procedures what have you got to do are you like right we've got to get yeah yeah what are you carrying you're carrying shield how does it work what goes on what's the first thing you've got to do are you letting them get on with it to a certain point or are you trying to nip it in the bud early doors no no you smoke them yeah but if you've got a team around you ain't Andy and you're like fucking I've got a young girl there and a 65 year old there and up I've got you but normally when it comes to defusing riots when it comes to dealing with when you're dealing with riots you get a lot of prison officers like you just get sent in innit okay so you could be on one team and then it's an absolute mess okay the job's getting done like do you understand what I'm saying like you really you're beating them up basically innit you're smoking them okay they don't care how you get them in that van or how you get them in this or just get them in this all innit okay you know and you're going straight for the ringleader yeah yeah and it's like everyone there's like 50 officers jumping on like the ringleader I think I'm flipping it over like it's not that deep how long can a riot go on for?

1:26:00hours

1:26:01Jeff Tieku: hours hours hours and has it ever come out of hand when you're like we're not in control of this? um nah every time when I've only been to like one yeah and I was a serious one like Loudon Grange that was serious like B-Cat they even nearly turned it into an ACAT you know but when I've heard like obviously like obviously we like discuss amongst each other I heard HMP Birmingham that was like yeah yeah that was a good kick off yeah yeah yeah but um when I went to Loudoun like when you're up against a lifer yeah they don't care they don't care yeah of course you see when you deal with a man that doesn't care no more it's just dangerous it's long you know I was always respectful You know It's like When they Converse with me It was like I don't know It was like a Like a breath of fresh air Yeah okay You know And you got a lot of Should I say Lifers that were from London So they'll respect the fact that You know Like I'm from London as well Yeah I've got a reputation Anyway Like you know So Yeah I just knew how to conduct myself I was really good in Yeah Conducting How did you feel being a Londoner going to other prisons that weren't in London?

1:27:21Jeff Tieku: Did you straight away go, nah, the other officers are going, they've got a cocky Londoner coming up here? How did it feel? Did it feel different? Because, again, haters, isn't it? Yeah. So when it came to, I don't know, when it came to me, should I say, coming to different prisons, they'll get like the drop, oh yeah, like, you know, he's coming round to this prison. but they must feel like oh it's a good character yeah they didn't they loved me yeah it's so weird that's why I'm so happy I'm just not there because it's just so weird like they loved me but they hated me like when it came to should I say de-escalating the situation you'll call me governors will call me and say like like Jeff we need you to you know but then you got me getting searched like every day like 15 days straight like make up your mind is that you hate me or you love me yeah you know but um yeah that environment dodges was just weird yeah man it was so weird bro like it's just just like a village it's like I don't know it's like everyone was just tapped I was like the only one I was there's only like a couple like normal ones do the normal ones end up getting tapped anyway knowing what you know is there an easy way to escape prison?

1:28:53Unless if I was a twin. You can't, even if I, being an officer and knowing obviously the daily regime is very, very difficult.

1:29:07Jeff Tieku: Yeah, okay. If I was a twin, I'd fancy my chances. Yeah, okay. But, like to escape knowing the knowledge I have so there's no angles you're going you can get in there and there's a little van outside there there's the delivery come in slip in the back of that delivery there's nothing it's too hard no I it's luck with the draw innit you know like Julian's got a serious story he's got I can't wait he's got you've got you've got a peak story to me man even when like I don't know when when it came to like should I say taking inmates out on like hospital like because say if an inmate got your jaw broke yeah you're gonna have to take him what you personally would take him to hospital yeah me and one officer cuffed up yeah cuffed up normally I'm the one that's cuffed up yeah you know like yeah but again it all comes down to like risk level innit so if if he was serious yeah he's on something called like a three-man, do you understand what, a three-man escort.

1:30:15Okay. You know.

1:30:17Jeff Tieku: What's it like being cuffed up to someone who's serious, who might be a lifer, you know, he's, I don't know what he's going to do, but he's going to start swinging here, do something. Are you just, are you ready with the right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what, yeah, like, again, where I go along with it, I didn't, I never ever had problems. Yeah, okay. No, I never ever. It must have crossed your mind. You've got to be thinking, aren't you? Yeah, like, because, if he does this, I'm going to do this yeah yeah yeah but then like you know like I can say it now don't give a fuck but like you'll doze off in it for example but then you're you're sitting next to someone that's I don't know in full like murder and like do you understand what I'm saying you know but you know what like where and I would say that created a complacency in me yeah okay you know um I wasn't really switched on because okay cool because a prisoner can turn at any time and it's only grace it's only grace that saved me like do you understand what I'm saying like you know especially someone that's doing like a murder and I'm dozing off he's doing 25 years like any chance that he gets he could try and escape do you understand what I'm saying you know but like anyone that was in for like they're doing like yeah they're there'll always be like a three-man officer escort.

1:31:44Yeah. You can't, yeah. They'll never ever do like a two-man.

1:31:47Jeff Tieku: When you say a lifer, how many years minimum? 35. Oh, God. Or 25. What's the difference? 25? 25. 25 for what or 35 for what? What's the difference? It depends. It all comes down to like the severity. Yeah, okay. So what would a lifer who got 35 years, what would he have been nicked for? Murder. Just pure murder? Nah. Can you get... I've seen people get lifed off, yeah. Yeah. Like, for, like, drugs. But they... They'll get... They won't do the full 35, but they'll do a substantial amount. Like, you understand what I'm saying? Or if they do, like, firearms. They'll get done for, like, firearms. But they're not...

1:32:34What's it? They're not doing the full bird. But they're getting hit heavy, though. Yeah. you know but when you like murder you know you're doing you're doing the full bed there's some people that know that they're not going they're not coming home those are the ones yeah what I thought like you're never ever coming

1:32:54Jeff Tieku: you're never going to go home you're never going home and like this is actually can you see why people who get nicked get a five do a two and a half or get a six do a three come straight back out want to get banged up again because they got a bed, three meals and the gym and an hour's walk. Can you see why people are doing that? Yeah. Yeah. Because it's, listen, it's difficult outside, isn't it? If you don't have like your P's and Q's, it is difficult. I had inmates that would, like, you had to restrain them like, on their release date. They didn't want to leave the prison. So you had to restrain them out of the prison.

1:33:37how mad is that how mad is that that's crazy isn't it yeah mate and then like what months no not months sorry within hours straight back straight back commit straight back yeah come back straight away you know there's some that come back with a haircut quality quality Jeff how would you

1:33:59Jeff Tieku: want to be remembered being a prison officer for all the people you come across in that 10 years

1:34:09The officer that made Made the difference You know Okay I know that made a difference Yeah You know My YouTube comments Even say They speak volumes You know And the people that send me I've got like A lot of Should I say Inmates That have me on like Social media Yeah okay You know So like Yeah yeah You get your cholas Yeah But fuck them man They're not important But like like you get like deep stories of where they've had like personal experiences with me so I know that I'm remembered as like a legend you ain't you ain't you ain't gonna get any better than me that's fair

1:34:45Jeff Tieku: yeah mate quality Jeff mate I've properly enjoyed this I've enjoyed this as well yeah mate I've really enjoyed it it's nice to hear the other side and actually get detail do you know what I mean and find out who, why, what was it like for you it's been fascinating yeah I've properly enjoyed it mate no no I'm glad yeah thank you for having me my pleasure mate good man Jeff cheers mate leave some comments below what you thought because I thought all that was blinding definitely good man hi guys I really hope you enjoyed that as much as I did can you do us a favour and leave us a review as it massively helps us grow the show cheers guys

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