Rakul Preet Singh on Heartbreak, Friendships, Bollywood, South Films & SRK | FO334 Raj Shamani

0:00Have you ever had a heartbreak? We all have, right? I agree. Attachment is a very scary thing. You cannot feel that somebody else is filling a void in your life. Rakulpreet Singh, who knows for its versatility in Bollywood and South cinema, is not only a talented actress, but also an inspiring entrepreneur. We will now know how to maintain her career, fitness journey and a happy and healthy relationship.

0:29How did he propose you? When I met Jackie, I said that I'm happy as a person, you're happy as a person. Either one of us are not responsible that if you have to do this, then you'll be happy. It's not like that. Together, we're just happier. If there's no one like you, and if Jackie talks to him or her, are you okay? I'll stop and what will I do? He'll talk to you. We're two individuals that are with us. That doesn't mean that either one of us has to ever feel that we're trapped. I was researching that after marriage, only 20 % of people are more satisfied and 80 % of people are dissatisfied. Because modern-day relationships are like that before, people would have a village to go to.

1:05Now, there is more and more expectation only by one person. If you don't have all expectations, you can decide. Oh, really? How is female friendship different than male friendship? Women converse on a more emotional basis. They can share a lot more than what a man would share. Men feel ashamed. They cannot show the real emotion. PR, VR, like how much you guys have to pay?

1:33Before we move on, subscribe to this channel so that we can make a more insightful and better podcast. And this whole show is available on Spotify, where you can follow us. Enjoy the show.

1:52Tell me, Abhi, just as these lines are blurred, women leaving their feminine side and that becomes a little masculine, do you think it's a good thing? Look, of course, men and women both have the right to live their dreams and chase their dreams and grow. But I feel what is important is that we need to be awareness. this awareness which I have in life through meeting somebody I feel if we have a curriculum in a school which I really believe if all of this is studied of how you maintain your feminine energy should be a part of school curriculum and then of course health, wellness feminine side is a bit of a I'm a man, I don't understand so I'll tell you what is a feminine side I feel like every girl see women are made in a way that they they love to come back to somebody who can sort of take care of them right and in the society or in today's day and age you're not depending and i'm not saying being dependent but i'm just saying that okay i'm the you are the provider I am the you know the what do you call protector yeah so you're the provider I'm the protector and you know keeping the family together so there were certain roles and responsibilities for both men and women now of course when the lines have blurred you don't know what role you take you women are running their families also a lot of times you leave a nurturer you leave a nurturer you leave a lot of people you are also watching your house a lot of people you are watching your parents siblings education there is a lot of load and the feminine body possibly is not made to take that pressure like the masculine body is not made to take the pressure of a childbirth right so I feel that there were different responsibilities and what happens is that's what disturbs your energy and your chakras and your aura having said that we are all in new age and we all need to do what we need to do but like I said we just need to be a little more aware that if we are doing this then how I need to protect like I'll tell you about me I would not cry and I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying I mean I'm saying that my old daughter's house is doing this and that's what I do so you become I didn't even know that I was running on masculine energy right that I'll solve any problem I'll solve 10 friends I'll solve 10 friends I'll shoot 40 hours I'll do it I was like a 4G kid fixer and then you realize I've never said anyone I need help can somebody just sit and listen to what I want to say I don't understand I don't think I do everything for everyone.

4:53No. No. Because actually life at the right time, I did find a partner and that changes you. Suddenly there will be a person who's very, who's opposite in the sense of, we're very similar but he's very calmer than I am. Okay. Right? And suddenly there's a switch where I start feeling that okay, now you are the person who has to listen to me. And I don't listen to anyone. Now you have to listen to my life. So there's a switch. Before you know, we can do a lot of things. But it's like roles, responsibilities, work, dream, you go through everything. No one doesn't want to tell you. And it's only when you start introspecting, self-reflecting, you understand these things.

5:46And then you're like, oh yeah, correct. I'm not that person I'm not that girl who'll say you've not done this I'm gonna cry you know I'm not that girl but when you find the right partner then you also become that girl on days you've become that girl some days so Jackie says he says maybe you're a girl because when I met him I didn't cry and this is really fun like I used to not cry I didn't cry now suddenly there's a girl in me that has come out where I'm like oh suddenly I'll cry for stupid things not cry means I'll just feel emotional you know I'll feel emotional that okay and I never knew I had that side so sometimes you don't know yourself that you know you're going to be a layer in the world and maybe my reflection self-reflection on that is I was 18 when I started working So I started modeling in college and then Miss India I was 20 when I moved to Bombay But Miss India was a movie Yes, in the time of modeling Okay, what was it?

7:00I was in first year of college I was in the portfolio pictures click and give photographers so they will send 100 email IDs So after a month I got a call from from a Canada team. And I, lack of my ignorance, I didn't know how big the South Indian industry is. And I didn't know that there are four industries. Because obviously, you... You were like a North of North, so you didn't know. North of North, no. I was not somebody who was a lot of films, in Hindi films, but I didn't know that. I didn't know that. What do you know in 17-18 years, when you know who, where, where? So I said, you have been convinced.

7:46And then they called my dad and it was a very funny thing. He called my dad and said, we've seen her date of birth and she's going to be a big star one day and we want to launch her. So until I didn't know that I was going to become an actor. So I was like, oh, these are very interesting people. Let's explore. So the only reason that I did that film in first year of college was that I will get money. In lakhs, my pocket money is 2000 rupees. I would be the first one to buy a car for my friends. I bought a Ritz car. I thought that I had a car in 18 years. I took a Ritz or Swift. I mean I was the thing in college.

8:25I was in Jisen Mary College in Delhi. Delhi, JMC. I was studying maths. There was a lot of issues. Attendance. Anyways, I finished the film. and during that experience, during the shooting time, I loved what we were doing. And I loved so much that I was like, okay, I love acting and I want to do this. But after college, I finished it. So then I took that, I continued modeling, I went for Miss India. And then I came to Bombay and I said, let's do it properly. Then I started auditioning. But in Kannada film, how did you know in the North? I don't know who was the language. Ratke. Okay. Yeah, I was a very good ratu.

9:04Very good ratu. In my tenth vote, there were hundreds of hundreds of social science. Rutt. This is not intelligence. Rutt is very good. The script is ruttly by heart. I mean, I used to keep listening to it, reading it. And of course, you have a translator who tells you what it means. So, I did a film in Canada. It was released a year later. Until then, I had more calls coming from Telugu. But I wanted to finish my college. and then get into films is there a reason that people give more opportunities their new faces I feel definitely one of the films is very important there are 4 industries so there are so many you mean you think we all talk about but actually there are 4 different industries and there are so many opportunities there are so many actors there are so many directors there are so many makers and it's not that only in the north in Telugu there are so many people in Tamil in Tamil many people come from Malayalam so I think on the whole film is so much so that they always need more talent and the access is easier okay what do you mean by access I mean by access that there will be one office they will see you photos at least in my time I am talking about 10 years back when I started working there so they will book you and call you My dad would come to me and I would give an audition for this photograph and you were signed He is the casting director of the beach and then the other one will get the assistant assistant Then he will select 10 people You know that whole hierarchy system is in the beach So direct director would call I remember Puri Jagannath sir calling me once after that first film released at that time their poker came so they told me they were watching photos and I went with my dad and I was wondering what was it because they had 70 days and I was very stupid I mean I didn't know how to film of course I don't come from films right so I told them if I had 4 days I could give 40 days I was doing maths honors so I mean I didn't know you're not supposed to do that I was so naive and buddhu I didn't know that you can't do this that you have to do four days.

11:26You are actually putting yourself in a trouble for future. So, he told my dad that this degree is going to be thrown in the head. So, he's like, I can't tell her not to complete her studies. So, my main thing was, yeah, so I said no to many films like that. But there used to be direct calls. Now that we were talking, it came to my mind. And there were direct calls? not happen either i think it's the casting director first and the casting director decides i don't know what's happening right now but i'm talking about 10 years back 7-8 10 years back generally every film has a casting director then he will phone you or he will phone you and it will be easy if you come south and you have 3 movies then you come here is it easier oh yeah i'll tell you nothing so that you have to do auditions in a wedding no no no no but I'll say what is easy or tough can I tell you something there could be a role that I might still audition for today that's what happens and we think that to audition oh my god you know I've established so much in West there are many actors today there are many actors for the makers to believe that they don't think they are part of it I had auditioned for Dr.

12:42G because because the director and I offered it because I'm of the believer why not if you think that I'm very modern because there is an issue that if you film glamorous then everyone will say no she's very glamorous because we are a herd mentality kind of a society shit, it's true, it is, but we are you know, it means that we are we are in the same way, we are in the same way How do you break the typecast? Let's say, for example, Rakul is a glam girl type role. Then you pick up a film like a Chhatriwali or you get a maker like Dr. G or Chhatriwali were both such films in which I didn't play glamorous.

13:26Then when you do it for 2-3, people think that this is the typecast. Because I'll tell you, when I was in South, I was in the film called Girl Next Door. in the film and you know you're always wearing half sari, you're the cute girl next door. So when I was here in the love of daddy, actually thanks to the team, they saw that image and they're like, no, no, you know, we'll present it like that. So for that, there's a transformation for that, there's a person, readings for that. But it always takes, and I feel those makers, as makers, who have some makers that you can see from that perspective.

14:01see from this. And I feel that's the job actor. If I play myself, I could be glamorous in real life. But if I play this then what's the fun of it? True. I want to be able to. But then if you're the social media, let's say you're the glam person. You're fitness, travel, very glamorous, very style, everything you do. So in social media as a viewer I know you like that. Yeah. But you also get a lot of social media. That's my real personality. That's my real personality. If you I'm not someone who likes to do makeup. Really? No way. Yeah, I swear to God. Now you open your phone. Come on, sit and sit.

14:43And I have some last... What is it? You have to go to the salon. You have to go to the gym. See which gym video do I have makeup in? Yeah. I have like blow-dried hair coming out of the gym. No. You'll be sweating. You know, I'll be sweating. But I'm not that girl. But how important was that in your field? What? To look? Yeah, I feel that, you know, there's no end to how much pressure you take on yourself. And I am somebody who is very comfortable in my skin. I don't think that every time I have a perfect image of beauty standard, the perceived beauty standard, I have to show you all the same. We are all normal.

15:24We all have good and bad days. I have been a few times, thousands of times, with a nail on your head. or wearing the same clothes, or wearing the same clothes, or wearing the same clothes, I call my mom and I say, you will wear these jeans, I will see them 5 days, 5 times, because it will be on the top of the shelf and you end up wearing, so I feel it's normal. I am an actor but that's my profession and yes am I presenting myself well? I am. But when I am at home, or when I only run out of my errands, or I'm going to a salon or I'm going to a bank I'm not going to take pressure and you know because also you set an unrealistic expectation for the young people who see this you know the youngsters, teenagers actors that's sell you're looking at an aspirational figure how do I make it?

16:22that's what I'm saying when you look at the screen or when I'm going to an event that's my belief that I can see the work while I'm doing it or I'm sitting on the podcast I'm well dressed and I should be well dressed I should be looking good all of that but those 12-year-old kids who didn't have exposure we didn't know that we had to make up or have to color today everyone thinks that I'm not good looking enough and that's wrong what standards are we setting for our younger generations I feel we're very confused because their reality is social media we don't have to grow in social media in the 90s the phone was a transition landlines have been on mobile phones so for us our validation is not mobile phone but for the newer generation younger generation the gen z's or whatever alpha betas now that are going to come the validation and reality is social media the fastest growing industry in US is teenage makeup teenager makeup and UK is the fillers for teenage people can you imagine or my mom used to say that when you were 16-18 years old the lipstick was not allowed I never used lipstick till I was I think 16-18 you think good stuff is it bad stuff young people more and more people are wearing fillers botox and make up is very good 12-13 years old 12-13 years old I'm not against fillers or botox it's like if someone you know maintain or beautify please by all means do it but I feel there is a right age for everything what's the right age no right age that depends on how good your lifestyle is but what do you feel like what's the still please don't do it yeah before you grow become an adult you know like subjective I'm saying in law also 18 is adult yeah right and they say 21 for marriage because they feel that you don't mentally mature until all.

18:28And there was a study that women get emotional maturity at 33 and men get at 32 and men get at 40 something. So I feel like 25 is the age where you start to understand things in all probability, according to me. 30 is when you start to understand life. You know, in 20s, you have a lot of time. But 30 is when you're like, okay, what really matters in life? you know we are talking about self introspection and reflection someone will say to a child just shut up you know so I feel everything with the right age with the right knowledge with the right time is okay but until you don't know yourself and you depend on external validation where you feel that I am not good enough and I need to use these means I feel that's not right it's not it's too much pressure and then imagine if you're doing like this 12-13 years you'll always be people pleaser because at the end of the day you're doing this to show people in front of people I don't think it's right but in your field isn't it important that I look at a lot of people every time I don't think so.

19:55And there are so many people. Can you see the normal? I feel Kareena Kapoor is the biggest example. She's a star. And how many years have you seen her step out without makeup for many times? She'll post her picture with that beautiful sun-kissed skin. And she looks amazing. And I think in our field, what is also very important is to set right standards. Because if you follow so many people on social media, then you can't see a perception at her point. this is my belief some people think that you are aspirational but I think that if you want to influence in a real way then influence for the right reasons that yes when I am working I do this yes I keep my skin I keep my skin I keep my hair I keep my skin I keep my skin I keep my skin I keep my fitness wellness all of that but when I'm at home I put my hair I put my hair and I put my hair on the lips and I put my hair and I do a lot and it's normal yeah so I always joke like why do you have to feel like that you have to give yourself break days and like I said how much pressure do you have to feel like that and pressure comes from what right it comes from I have to prove that I am always amazing I don't have to do it I know I am amazing true to have that but that security comes security you have worked on yourself a lot you are talking about Kareena Kapoor she is beautiful yeah so I've got to know just Kareena so many people Alia Bhatt she owns her freckles I mean today's generation if you see but all of you guys like look at your skins already you guys have maintained so I said that keep your attention to the skin but do I have to always be like in hair and makeup see because without it also you guys are like already have achieved a very unrealistic standard of beauty no no that is not unrealistic that is very easy that is all all of the things and that knows what all Indian mom knows all of those things tell me your skincare routine my skincare routine is very simple when i do face mask whatever if tomato is cut for detanning i use tomato juice or potato juice you know cotton if it's tan otherwise if i feel my skin is dry then banana mask is really good malai banana honey neembu mix it on the hair avocado and banana mix it on sometimes with egg all of that i'm saying I will do it in one year.

22:22I do face masks often. I don't have the patience to put the hair mask as much. I am also very tomboyish. So, I don't have the patience to do this. So, what do you do daily? Nothing. Just wash my face, cleansing. Very important to remove makeup. The most important thing is to make up makeup. You have a little bit of a mistake. That is, mascara, they don't have a separate remover of mascara. That is how the mood is. you know which is very wrong because that is what your eye around skin is the most sensitive so I feel removing your makeup is very important first thing in the morning wash your face with cold water very important and cleansing toning moisturizing my rose is just so simple and before shoot if I feel that I'm puffy then I put my face in ice water which is very good for your pores and I feel more than what you do on your skin now how you feel from within and how secure as a person you are and how happy as a person you are.

23:22You think what you eat, you get to meet people and you try to keep a happy atmosphere in your life that reflects on your skin. That is the key because I feel so many people are like he said this, he said this, so he's why are we just burdening ourselves with so much that the society has to offer and getting affected that's what shows on your skin so it's having right people around you very important I feel the most important thing is of course you're born in a family but you choose your friends and to surround yourself with the right people because I'm a big believer of energies I feel that you know some people can give you an energy boost and some people can give you a little it's like someone that's a negativity I don't want to suck my energy out that's for true that's for real so just be with people who are happy for your growth or who make you laugh and I'm a believer roti, cup, makaan chill, happy laugh that's all you actually need in life okay I'm going to describe Try to describe energy drainers, what do you do?

24:41Oh God! Explain your characteristics and traits of them. You know, I don't like nosy people. Like you get to meet someone somewhere and then they ask you a lot of questions. And you think I don't know your name. Why do you want to know that in my life? That type of people would train my energy. So how do you avoid them? Excuse me, I'm going to go out. I have zero tolerance for that. Really? Yeah, I have zero tolerance. I was also small Actually my parents also And I have to give them the credit That they never did such conversations I didn't entertain I remember when I started modeling I had a cover in a magazine I had a cover in a magazine I had 6 months into it So any relative You don't know the people you know They said How did you put it in the field And Let's wear so many clothes So my dad just looked at her and said, sorry, what was your name of your child?

25:42So she said, he's like, I don't know your child's name, so how can you decide my child's career? Wow. So he just said it on the face. And he said, if anybody has a problem, come talk to me. So my parents, I'm blessed. I feel like army major families also a little more not a little more but I think they are progressive there are a lot of other people also progressive but largely you will see a lot of army because they have seen life they have seen life life you are on the border you don't know what is tell me army parents how is their parenting style different Oh wow. It's a lot different. I feel.

26:30What are the differences? I tell you a funny thing. When we were little. Now I don't want to give people to this. But when we were little. You'll meet with any of the army. They will feel that. Civilians don't come to anything. This term is in the canton. Have you interacted with them? Yeah, I know. So it's like army and civilian. So when I was little. We used to think that all civilians. is the discipline and the proper mannerism is in the same way. So, that's a belief because everyone else is very laid back. But I feel like the most stark difference is that you make a strong difference in the age of 10.

27:16That, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this. You know, you have to go and try. you cannot say no like we didn't allow it you don't eat this why? it won't be good it won't be good try it make an opinion do you want to go swimming? do you want to go I'm scared of my dad I'm scared of my dad let's go now at 12 o 'clock go to the gate go to the gate go to the gate go outside he did that with my brother he did that he was very young in 5th, 6th standard he said no I don't want to go in the dark he said okay the whole dark He said, okay, now you'll go down alone. You'll lock and come back.

27:58Let me see what happens to take out the fear. So I feel that you have a very fearless upbringing. That you know that you can take on the world. And I feel that's very important because we protect the children, we're making them unfit for society. I'm so grateful to my parents for making us, like giving us the tools and upbringing in a way that we become fearless were you fearless? were you fearless? yeah I think so were kids like men hitting on you when you were growing up? no yeah I was hitting them because in your diet army people would fight in our army school everyone would fight but they were not people would fight because I was very tomboyish I was very tomboyish so the boys won't hit on you no I was that girl and who is the best friend I mean who is the bro vibe and more of my friends are guy friends you know because like I said I'm an outdoorsy type bro vibe type so you don't have to tell I'll talk about it so I was the wing woman or I was the bro so people used to not hit on me when you start modeling then guys will be hitting on you left right center yeah but I of course I'm sure but I was also I don't think I'm a very easy to approach person oh so I don't know people are scared to come to you yeah so this I have heard from so many of my friends and I used to be like no yaar so my brother my younger brother he's like keep all of them how will someone come to you so this is a very funny thing when Jackie and I started dating we were meeting and not dating so I was like this guy is not even waking up like he's not asking me it's been 3 months 4 months so there was one incident where I was leaving for an outdoor so I was leaving for an outdoor so I thought this is old school type romance so he just held my hand and said now I will say something now I will go for 20-25 days so he'll say something so he just held my hand and he's like I'm scared I said what?

30:26my brother was right but how cute he said I'm scared because I don't know how you'll react so I think I come across as a person who's a very I am a very no-nonsense person also that maybe he can see people but I used to not he'll kill he'll kill he'll kill he'll kill in school What are you talking about? Tell me who is beating. No one is proud of me. I mean I was a full-fueless. Why did you beat me? I mean you beat me. Tell me what you did. You know somebody hitting on you and all of that. Oh, someone said you liked me, give me that. Give me that. I'm telling you, I was a full - If you're the reason, tell me how many girls traumatized.

31:14Is there a whole class? Is there a whole class? Is there a whole class? Is there a whole class? This is not a whole thing. This is a whole thing. But I'm just telling you that I was very tomboish. Have you ever had a heartbreak? We all have, right? Have you? I haven't had. You've not had a heartbreak? Yeah, I guess. I think we all go through lessons in life. What did you learn from it? Let's tell you this. My journey into spirituality began because of a heartbreak. Attachment is a very scary thing. Dependability, attachment. Love is great. But you cannot feel that somebody else is filling a void in your life.

32:05You have to be so complete within yourself. you are one person who is complete in your own and then you get a complete person and then together you make a new world of your own and when I met Jackie we actually had this conversation on our first date on the dinner date and I said I am happy and you are happy I am happy as a person, you are happy as a person and either one of us are not responsible that if you have to do this, you will be happy. It doesn't happen. Together, we are just happier. Because we can do many things together. But that doesn't mean that you haven't taken me in a picture today, so I'm very happy.

32:49I can go myself. Life is more than that, you know. And you don't have to learn this. The idea of relationships that is from what we see in the society, what we have seen at home, insecurities, which you watch in films or shows or you have seen it all over. But what is it what you learn through experiences is that actually you have to be so secure and complete that then you know you don't have that jealousy or insecurity in a relationship. Like both of us don't have it. How did he propose you? I was doing everything. I said I am not walking down the aisle. We have discussed marriage. When is the marriage?

33:38We have discussed everything. We are planning everything. And I said, I mean, you have said, bro. I mean, bro, bro. Yes, Jackie. But I said that to him also. He's like, I said that to him also. Many times that happens. So I said, if you don't propose, I'm not walking down the aisle. So it was a lot of pressure. I also called myself to my friends. I also asked him to say this. We had to do it. So we had combined bachelor's. Because we had to party together. So we all went together. Twenty, twenty five people. His friends, my friends, and that's where he proposed to me. Actually Bhumi is his best friend.

34:18Okay. And Bhumi was the person who planned it. He was all friends in the plans. But Bhumi initiated because I would not have doubted Bhumi. If someone used to use it, I would know why this guy is here. So he used to use Bhumi and said, Rukul, morning breakfast, guys, let's all go for breakfast. The boys' side wants to host the girls' side. You know, in a morning, I said, Bhumi, it's 10 hours. I mean, who's going to be in Samui at 10 o 'clock at the morning? No, no, no, it's good on the beach. So I didn't doubt her. I would have doubted. I would have been like you guys are not going to be standing so what's happening and I had totally forgotten and then before she was she messaged me she's like okay bro just wear nice clothes we'll take pictures now Bhumi loves to get ready she's a full girly girl we have movie maybe so I know like she loves to get ready then I was like hey yeah Bhumi's gonna take pictures so I'm gonna wear a little and wear a little because I was in shorts and a loose t-shirt so I was like let's wear a dress nothing no hair nothing okay and then gone there and uh on that beach there and then there was uh he had made a song to propose so no so no will you marry me or something like that so that was playing and then yeah and i was laughing i was in the backpack and i was like okay this is happening yeah it was but first time i say who started the conversation ki hey let's get married but what was the point when you got ready?

35:55You were like, hey, now I have... That was before it came, that we will spend life, but when? I think it was a lot to do with our timelines of work also. You know, that when I can get that break professionally. Because also I wanted to have one month of no work. And I think mentally also you want to be in a space where you're like, okay, let's go, I'm ready for transition. You know, but I never wanted that I didn't have a big break. we were working on a marriage 3 days before and working on a week both of us so I feel but the tipping point that this is it that is a beautiful thing actually that Jahi told me when his sister and his brother-in-law were getting married so Dhiyaj Bhai had told his sister that I have a list of non-negotiable people that I don't want you to become best friends but these are people with whom you have to get along because they are non-negotiables for me similarly, you give me your list and whether I like them or I don't like them I will get along with them and I loved that thing I was like, when we met he told me this and I was like, wow, that's so sweet to say something like that and to validate that we both can have different set of people in our lives which is very important for us and we don't need to change that so we were in the second lockdown and this is before and right after before this whole dad incident happened we were in Goa with my brother, friends we were 7-8 people one night we were just dancing and he just asked me I am ready to know your list oh so then i was like okay this guy is serious so so and i think things accelerated yeah things yeah accelerated and and and when he said that i felt and and and we both follow it which is why i say that i'm married because nothing touchwood has changed okay let me ask you a question if any person doesn't like you and if jackie talks to him or her are you okay with it yeah yeah absolutely I don't talk about it, you have to do it he's old enough to make decisions for himself I feel that we all I'm a little spiritual I think like that I feel that we all make a lot of complicated our life you have to talk to him you do what to do for me and him both if we are out there and we are enjoying it and I am an early shoot you can stay I can come back we are two individuals that doesn't mean that either one of us has to ever feel that we are trapped you know our schedules will never get like I've been shooting I've not seen him properly in the last 10 days because timings I leave early I come late I crash but the thing is by choice we should want to spend time not by force and also So, what will I do?

39:12He will talk to me and talk to me. What's the point? But will it bother you? No. Sometimes it's like I don't respect this. No, it's better than that. But respect for me is, you can give me a reason why it's important for you to talk to that person. You know, I feel communication is very important in a relationship. When communication is the most important thing, then I can tell you what I have done with it. or I feel I like that person because so and so okay great you can like that person I'll be cordial tell me what impresses you in a guy I think intellect okay explain more I think for me if someone is I think every girl looks up to sees traces of her father in the guy she really gets attracted to I feel like that you know that's what happens and for a guy it's his mother that a girl he wants to marry so I think that when I was growing up I asked him to ask him about everything he would know he would read he would know he's aware emotional intelligence also so I used to always feel very attracted to intelligence I used to mockery to do like like the people who are laughing at the lafantar, how much you are feeling hot, how much you are being six-pack, eight-pack.

40:41Till the time I really had a conversation with anybody. I have not been that girl that I have seen someone and said, why, how hot it feels. Until I don't talk to someone. And until I didn't have intellectual stimulation, I would really not have an opinion. So intellect is? For me, yeah. For you. What else? Like what should? Not just intellect. Intellect is what attracts you. and then of course it's very important that you have other qualities you know emotional intelligence like I said it's very important to be grounded it's very important I come from a middle class family right so I don't like the high five type behavior I do a lot of my things on my own even today your husband is not like little high five you know people think he is even I used to think he is he's born and brought up here in a rich family but you know actually not because my father-in-law is not somebody who got it all easy he used to sell sarees on footpath you know so he was a saree vendor footpath we probably don't notice when we go to Lincoln Road back road so his rise has been from there so the family values even when he was born it's not like those riches were when the kids were growing up situation kids saw slowly slowly slowly slowly slowly you know that timing but dad is a very he's a very that's not the people think ahead of time kind of people so he's a person and I think his journey is like a story in itself so you obviously have seen everything in your home and you can't change your parents core so that core remains the same so the values remain the same.

42:34So, I actually thought before I knew Jackie, when I knew of him, that my attitude is very important. I told him that. My attitude is very important. But, he's so misunderstood because actually when you meet him, he's very desi. What's the most misunderstood thing about him? That's the question. I feel, and he says this, he's like, you know, what's a weird thing with him when he was acting? The industry used to feel that he's an outsider because dad was an outsider. he wasn't a part of that group group right and the outsiders used to feel that he is the insider he's like so I actually didn't fit in and I feel he's a very sensitive guy and a lot of people don't know that you know I was studying a week research so Gottman has researched they have written a book they are one of like this Gottman couple is they are the world's best couple therapist so they study about couples married couples and everything so I know that after marriage 20 % of those people never felt so satisfied before that moment so they are more satisfied and more content in their life it's very nice even I didn't know 80 % people are not 80 % people are more dissatisfied oh really only 20 % people are more satisfied 80 % people are dissatisfied oh really after marriage but maybe they don't have the right conversations no so the reason they were doing multiple reasons obviously so they made their conclusion that because modern day relationships are like that people had a village to go to now there is more and more expectation only from one person so you want to give everything to one person to your partner you see best friend supporter life coach therapist financier you watch 50 ,000 things you watch in one of them so this is a big problem and then that person because you have seen and made expectations he can't do all the expectations so you will decide but expectation I feel that is a risky word we as humans have a lot of expectations attached it is not right for any one of us to burden another person for what I want what we want together we can create together but I would burden that I would like this this could be in smaller towns but for both men and women working whose aspirations whose life is very difficult see marriage is not a it's a companionship I feel it's a companionship and I think I come in the 20 % because I think it's a lot of fun I don't need to tell you I don't need permission because I still need to tell you I'm back home you know so it's like if my partner is my best friend I'm no no I don't have to take permission and it's not that I had to take but my parents would worry earlier if I was probably all your voids because those dissatisfied people were the problem that they don't expect their friend circle they don't expect their partner to be a good relationship they don't expect their co-workers we like we can also be like that.

45:57So, that resourcefulness don't even know. Every thing is asking for one person instead of relying on like multiple people for multiple things. Absolutely. And that's why I said that no one can fill your void if you think that you work every day there's a work-life balance. And I think everybody needs to strive. Of course, it's important that we have certain rules that we follow. We will try to unwind and have a 10-minute conversation if not more. of course if I'm shooting night and he's shooting day and traveling but at the end of the day we at least try and talk how was your day low down so that we're invested in one another's lives never sleep on a fight never ever you made that rule or you?

46:41I made that rule he was not very good with communication when we started dating he would just be like it's okay no no no and not say it's okay what does it mean? No, it's not okay. As a man, I can second that. Mostly women make that rule. Women are the ones who want to talk and get it out of their system. You guys are better communicators. Yeah, better communicators. And also like we want to like, okay, okay, this happened, so this happened, so this happened, so this happened. Like in our head, there's a structure there. But now he's very good. Friendships change after marriage? Like I said, it was very important that my friends embrace and their friends embrace.

47:18which happened and I feel we talked about so long so no I don't think friendships changed nothing nothing changed for you in terms because after marriage the biggest actual problem starts which is why I said you have your own time right and after your own time then their friends want to give their friends with you and you want to give your friends with your friends with time and then sometimes maybe your friends just want you not you as a couple no that's not that friends also so which is why I said that when at least in our case when we started dating I had gotten my friends very quickly that this is my party Pantar party these are people and they had to get them then Jackie was also added on that group that now it's our own so it's very funny that when I married, so I said, but these are my friends.