40-Year-Old Can't Afford To Survive

0:00My name is Dominga Titus. I am 40 years old in Austin, Texas and this is Financial Audit. Well, thank you for coming on here. So this is a follow-up episode. You don't need to have watched the previous episode to watch this one because this is going to be any other financial audit, just like all of the financial audits. But to give just a little bit of context, we had a conversation last time. We talked about the family dynamic, how you and your husband don't share finances at all. Things are very separate. They're like incredibly separate. And you have experienced homelessness in the past with your kids.

0:34That was very traumatic and, you know, trying to not replicate anything like that in the future. But there was definitely spending addictions, things on Amazon, just multiple, multiple a day and just draining the income in endless amount of debts to pay off. So that was the background previous. Yes. How are we looking today? How do you feel the last six months or so has progressed? So there was a huge upswing for a while there. I landed a job before I was a contractor, and I was not doing that great, but I landed a full-time job with about a$15 ,000 raise in income per year. However, there have been a couple of setbacks.

1:11I had a total hysterectomy. I had a couple of hit-and-run car accidents that I had to deal with, and my husband lost his job two months ago. Oh, no. So just some of the layoffs that we're seeing? Something like that, yeah. Something like that, okay. Well, what's your current job? I work for the state. So it's an office manager job, and it's 40 hours a week, two days remote. It's a great situation for me. Healthcare, everything I needed that I wasn't finding before. Hourly or salary? Salary. What's your salary? 54. 54, cool. But, of course, this is coming to now a single household income. Yes. But last time, again, you guys split it in very weird ways.

1:52Yes. So just remind us of how it was operating versus how it's operating now in terms of the income. So I'm the primary breadwinner. I have been always in our relationship. And so I was paying all the bills. And then he would, I guess, pay me back for portions of those. After the last audit, we went home and I broke it down by numbers. And he ended up paying about 40 % of our household bills. Oh, okay. So it turned out that I just wasn't aware of how much he was helping. But it still wasn't a set or reliable amount. And it was kind of a, hey, can you cover me? Can you spot me? I never had to pay him back.

2:22But it was more of a first me, then you. so um yeah so i guess it kind of set us up for him losing the job because not a whole lot changed other than that i had to pay a little more towards everything so how is the marriage holding up um i mean our marriage is surprisingly well i guess there were a lot of comments and questions on the last video about that but um i feel like our marriage as far as the relationship is good but um we're having more talks about finances and that's been a little bit of a tumultuous situation. I'm just trying to figure out where we both stand and how much we're willing to give to the other in terms of leeway, I guess.

3:00Is it giving to each other, though, or is it giving to the household? Well, I think part of it was that we weren't communicating about finances. We can talk about everything but money because I am hard-headed and I'm a spender and he just didn't want to have fights with me. If you don't want to have fights with me, hit that subscribe button because I am trying to get to 500 ,000 subscribers And thank you to everyone who has subscribed so far. So there was an upswing. And then obviously there were some things that happened. But in terms of the debt, in terms of some of the spending and stuff like that, have we made progress with things happening?

3:31So I deleted the Amazon app after that episode. Good. And it has remained off my phone. Good. There are still some Amazon purchases. Yeah, I was going to say. Yes. But I literally have to log in. I don't say logged in. Like I have to go through the steps and make conscious decisions to get into the app. Yeah. with my i'm still sober by the way a year and six months um thank you and that's kind of what i learned with my addictions is i need to really work for it if i want it so i'd sit there and things would sit in my um cart for a while and they're definitely not so much splurge splurges as they were before like i wasn't buying unnecessary furniture for the house or things like that um i know you saw some amazon purchases a lot of those are again subscriptions for like household goods but i also had a big work event recently that i had to buy some things for for myself it was um signing to buy like a whole outfit i know it sounds silly it was a it was like a it's a i don't know how to describe it without you're telling me you didn't have any outfits not no because i have lost weight so i haven't had so so yeah i can i can actually tell you i didn't um and it was uh my son's birthday was right after his job loss my uh ex-husband husband's job loss and um so i stupidly did some i know you noticed some after pay financing Yes, you did Which I had done so well too I had done so well What about partners on debts?

4:55Let's see, I had a credit card debt I think that I've been paying down every month At like$300 to$400 a month You had some collections as well? Yeah, there was a stupid collection Where I forgot to pay my daughter's clarinet rental And so I'm catching up on that And returning the instrument Because she actually quit band Let's see, I can't remember what else there was I think that was the primary one was a music instrument rental. We're going to look into where your financial situation stands today. In terms of like a score 0 out of 10 of your personal finances, what would you say you are? Do you know what's stupid?

5:29I do. Paying so much money every month just for cell phone coverage when you could just take 15 minutes to get cell phone coverage with Mint Mobile for as low as$15 a month. I partner with them for that specific reason. Use your money in a better way. So make sure you go to mintmobile.com forward slash hammer. Let's use our money in better ways. Love you. Let's get back to the episode. I'm still like a four. Four? Yeah. Okay. Ten being the best. Four, yeah. Yeah. I think last time it was, there wasn't scores at that time, but it would have been pretty much a one. So you think you've improved by three points?

6:05Yeah, I think, I don't know. You see it, but I feel it. All right. Well, let's do this thing then. Let's jump into the monies. I have two checking accounts here. Okay. So in this first one, we started with 873, but we ended with 113. Are there automatic withdrawals on this? Yes, there's a car payment. Okay, well, that makes me very nervous. And an insurance payment, things that are automatically taken out. There's a car payment. Okay, so there are other debts than just a credit card. Okay. So, yeah, that makes me very nervous, especially in a household with two kids. Yes. Two kids, a husband with no job and questionable plan-inship relationship, ending with 113 makes me a little nervous with automatic withdrawals.

6:51If people are perfectly down to the cent budgeting, that makes – I'm not nervous and they're manually paying things. That makes me nervous in your situation. Another thing that makes me nervous, all these green things. If we're making progress, the green things. So why are we clearly – if there are debts to pay off that are bad and we talked about budgeting, did you actually follow a budget? Yes, I created a whole spreadsheet. Well, it's clearly you're not doing it then, right? I'm leaving the amount of money I need to leave in there and I'm living paycheck to paycheck. So my idea of budgeting is not correct yet.

7:24Not living paycheck to paycheck. You're spending so much on just crap. That's not paycheck to paycheck. You are choosing to leave paycheck to paycheck, but not in the way where it's like forced to. No. Because, again, Jimmy John's, An afterpay of$52, an afterpay of$22. We're afterpaying. I thought we were beyond this, right? Weren't we beyond this? We were. PayPaling, Etsy, and Pluckers, a very expensive$103. Ring, monthly bills, Audible, Klarna. We're Klarna-ing for$24. Who knows how many of the payments there are there? Spotify, and Suma, and Parking, and PayPaling out, and Disney Plus, and donating to KUT$10.

8:09If we're living paycheck to paycheck, are we donating$10? And Amazon, we're going back to Amazon. I thought we were just deciding we were never going to do it again. And McDonald's, and Afterpay, and Afterpay, and Afterpay, by the way, of which were$32,$45,$30. And Klarna,$50. Little Caesars, Marina's Kitchen. Oh, guess what? There's another page with green lines. Green lines equal purchases you do not need to do. Water Lice, Tipioca, Mexican Supermaid, and Cinemark Movie Club, and Little Caesars, and Going to a Bakery, and Half Price Books, and Amazon Prime Video, and Green Mesquite, and Text Tag, which is tolls.

8:49You don't need to take tolls. Apple Bill, Apple Bill, Apple Bill, Afterpay, Affirm, Affirm. Why are we doing Affirm at this point with where we know we've been, where we're trying to get, and where we can't budget? If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. We're doing Affirm for$139 in Amazon Marketplace and McDonald's and Marshall's and Air Trampolines and Cinemark and Cinemark and Tipioga and Circuit or Cricket. That's for my crafting business. Do we need to be crafting? Paycheck to paycheck. And Chick-fil-A,$35 in McDonald's and Afterpay, Afterpay, Afterpay, Afterpay. Netflix, and transferring out Peacock.

9:34It's for Peacock and Sally Beauty and Dairy Queen. Again, another page. Look how many green lines.

9:47Klarna, MyFCM,$75. Metapay, something children, and Bedro Pecan Farm, and Waterloo Ice House. We're obsessed with that place. Then Amazon and Amazon and Tipioca and Five Below and PayPal and Jason's Deli and Moody Center and Mariana's, Afterpay, Google Storage, Amazon Marketplace, Amazon, Apple, Wag Pet, Dirty Martinez. Okay, fun fact. Out of all these purchases here, easily 80, 85 to 90 % of them are things you do not need. You are not paycheck to paycheck. That is bull. don't bullshit we don't bullshit here that's not paycheck to paycheck that is choosing to put those purchases over actually paying off debts actually living actually saving actually investing we are choosing to be paycheck to paycheck you are not in the literal sense paycheck to paycheck correct okay okay thank you so why'd you say that come on well that i don't know that because i'm literally spending all my paycheck till the next paycheck i guess yeah you were just spending it's bullshit money this is bull spending this was insane this was crazy and we have debts to pay off if we have car payments if we have all these things if what's your retirement account look like today um god i just started it in january or december that's your only retirement account ever i think i told you in the last one i ended up cashing out the only other one that's right and you're 40 so we have no retirement so the best two years of your life for compound growth are complete or two decades of your life for compound growth are completely gone you're starting retirement you You want to make sure you're actually able to retire so that your kids are not forced to take care of you as a responsible parent, right?

11:28So we're putting pluckers above all that stuff, which is a wings place. And we're putting that above retirement and taking care of ourself. We're taking that above having an emergency fund and taking care of ourself. We're putting pluckers above paying off car debt, credit card debt, and all these other financing things instead of taking care of ourself. So I feel like maybe some mental progress was made, but financially, have we really? What's awesome and that we can celebrate is that you are a year and a half sober or whatever the exact thing is. That's incredible. But again, the same conversation.

12:03I think some of the addictive personality has been put on eating out constantly, has been put on all these different shopping things. I always speak about mental health here and therapy. Have you sought out a therapist? I am starting this week, actually. Good. Is it because of the health insurance now? No, actually. No. I'm just changing therapists. I had the VA before, and I've decided to change things out because things have been going down mental health-wise. Oh, why? Why is that? No, it's just the whole job situation and all that. It's a lot of pressures in life. Absolutely. And that directly impacts mental health.

12:43And we're nothing without our brain. so as life stuff surrounds us and it gets more and more complicated more and more you know hard in general I will say I wish I could show you more months because there were a couple months where I really was paying the bills and I had savings and we ended up going through because of the job loss so it's the job loss you think that has affected most things here financially speaking I'm not going to put it all on that because obviously I still had I have these habits that are still affecting us but it's definitely exacerbated the situation. It's just instead of stopping what I was doing, it's continued.

13:24So, yeah. Yeah. If we know we're in a position where we're just struggling to pay for things, why are we taking care of all these? Why are we doing all these finance options? If you know you can't purchase, why are you still purchasing? And that was for a few months after our last visit. It was if I can't buy it outright, I can't afford it. in the last couple months. So what changed? I know we had the job change in terms of maybe some savings and stuff like that, but what changed in terms of the mentality of, okay, well now we're going to start financing things again, now we're going to go out to eat every day again.

13:57What changed? I don't know. Do you think you just lost some discipline? Did you get off the track? Probably. I know I did. I mean, even going to the gym stopped. Multiple things that I was doing to take care of things stopped. So, yes. And that's part of the reason I did seek out to change my medicines and to go to a different doctor. Okay. So I'm thinking you're bringing in about after taxes and everything and health insurance, about$3 ,750 a month, something like that. That's correct. You'll have child tax credits as well, of course. But, okay, we have another checking account to look at.

14:41You are bullying yourself with these purchases. There is a better balance in here of$850. But Apple bills, and this is what upset me. This is just pending within a day. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. For Amazon purchases. This is something we were trying to deal with last time. So it just scares me that even if progress was made that I couldn't see, we're back to where we were. And that's unsustainable. And that is scary for the rest of your life. Etsy, Prime Video, PayPal it out, Prime Video, Tuckerito, PayPal, PayPal, Afterpay, Afterpay, Afterpay. Come on, these are like 50 bucks each. And Dairy Queen and Amazon and Amazon, Applebills, Cinemark Movie.

15:32This crap is adding up. so we're just spending so much money and we can't do that we can't afford that if we have practically zero dollars in retirement what's in your savings um currently like 275 we headed up to almost 3 000 but it's gone so okay and then what we've added up here is in terms of different subscriptions and stuff you've done,$233. Then that, $840 of going out to East Bend. $840 of your $3 ,750 that are back. Gas,$280. So lots of stuff driving. It's closer to$4 ,000. We saw $4 ,000 hit your payroll. Sorry, I should have said that. So an extra$250, I was guessing. Afterpay, Klarna, affirm your payments,$740.

16:29$54 is what you've paid towards that stuff. And those will be done this month. And I'm going to say it again. I'm going to stop using them. And then BridgeCross, big thing there,$558 as well. That's the car payment. And then Wag Pet Donation,$303. It was a dog, I know. You can't do that. You can't do that. I want you to give so much, but you can't do that now when you can't even give it to yourself. You can't even give it to your own retirement savings,$200 in the savings. We cannot be donating Donate eventually We can't now It's not a thing It can't be Do you still have credit card on your phone?

17:09Um I don't know I don't have an account Because it sent me an email the other day Go ahead and look it up And download it if you don't have it

17:20Oh yeah Okay, I'm between low 600s High 500s Well A payment history of 14%. Okay. Remind me of the student loan thing. Has 41 missed payments? Oh, yes, because I just wasn't working for those two years, or a year and change. So I am paying every month, too. But it's a very small portion of those in an IRS debt that I'm still paying towards.

17:54How much is owed To the student loans? Like$38 ,000 Still?

18:04$38 ,000 What's your minimum monthly? I think I worked it out Towards$75 ,000 twice a month So$150 ,000 It's barely chipping at anything What's the interest rate? God, I can't remember I can't see on here? You couldn't get your statement?

18:25I might have it but I don't have it on me. No progress is being made on these with missing and stuff. U.S. Department of Education. Have they started garnishing wages? No. Because you're currently on time with the payments but we're just not making any progress. We want to pay these off as soon as we can because I can tell this is going to be like usually with student loans it's like minimum monthly payments but yeah and then you're missed right now on the instrument. The instruments. So what are you doing with it? Pain. Pain. Like I'm behind. You returned it? Yes, because I still owe a balance from when we had it in our possession.

19:04Why didn't you $861? Mind you, that fast food, the food going out could have covered this entire thing. Yeah? So why are we even doing this? Again, that's where I get a little upset at the spending. What's the monthly payment on this thing? The instrument is$56 a month Do you know the interest? No, because they're just asking me to pay back what I owe Okay And the Department of Education Yeah, these are terrible Negative 6 % paid Negative 6 % paid Negative 5 % paid Negative 4 % paid Negative 3 % paid Negative 4 % paid Negative 6 % paid Oh, no, that's right Bridgecrest The car Oh Sorry for the Volca fry Still getting over something in my throat Doesn't feel like anything but yeah I'm just like Volca frying Okay 3 % paid off What is the car again What is the what I'm sorry What's the car It's a Honda Accord Year 2015 Okay Is it worth$21 ,000?

20:17It only had 38 ,000 miles on it when I got it. Yeah, but it's... Okay. Well, we can look. $21 ,000. When did you get it? In January. My car... You just got it! My car broke down. No!

20:34What was owed on the last car? So we've gone further into debt, is what I'm hearing. So from last time we were making progress... And it's 75 months. It's 75 months. 75 months. I'm making double payments on it, but not anymore since he lost his job. I made four payments in two months. It doesn't even matter because it's$558 a month. That's an insane payment for your... What is the interest rate on this? You have to know the interest rate on this. Yeah, it's like 21%. Are you sure it's 21 %? Because they think it's 24%. Oh, maybe it's 24. 24 % loan? You went and signed up for a 24 % loan? No. Okay.

21:18So, uh, okay. Okay. Okay. This is blowing my mind right now. We're further in the hole. We've gone worse. We've gone worse. You've seen probably some of my other videos. We had a conversation. How could we possibly, if you're trying to get into a right situation four months ago, four months ago, after our video was already done well within a few months before that, why would we go get a$21 ,000 loan at 24 %? How is that? Did someone talk you into it? Was the husband like okay with it? Where were we? I need to know how you did this. I needed a vehicle. Yeah, but why'd you do this? Why'd you not go get a crappy$5 ,000 car?

22:00I don't even care that a mechanic like says is drivable and will get you somewhere safe and is from like the mid-2000s for a while while you saved up some money, a bit at least, or$10 ,000 with a loan of this interest rate because your credit score is really bad. But why did you decide to go over$20 ,000 on a 2015 card that's probably not worth that? I don't know. We can look up. But why? If there's no why, then what that immediately screams to me, and this is not to be rude, but what this immediately screams to me is that you're doing this until you're 70. over and over and over and over and over again.

22:39No progress. If this just happened halfway after between now and the last episode we recorded with you. Please, there has to be some why. Okay, fine. Why did you not get a$10 ,000 car? I could not find financing to get a$10 ,000 one and I only had$3 ,000 in hand. That doesn't make sense. You got financing for a$20 ,000 one? I tried different credit unions. They didn't help me. I tried different financing options. Did you look at personal loans and stuff as well? Yes, I did. I went through my bank. I went through. Who approved you for this? Bridgecrest was the, that's the financing company. At the auto place?

23:18Yeah, Carvana, yeah. Okay. Why didn't you get a$10 ,000 car at Carvana? They would, it would not go through for a$10 ,000 finance. I tried different. Did you go to other dealerships? Yes. Right here in Austin, and that was the national one. and then there was another one who wanted to put me in a different, it wasn't going to be any, it was going to be more than that. It sounds like they were just refusing to get you. They wanted a higher sale. They were using the leverage of you needed a finance to them to get that. So, I mean, I wasn't there. I don't know. I haven't seen all the loans. But it kind of blows my mind that, I mean, this is a predatory loan.

23:59Like, you could, if you could get this for this, you could get it for$10 ,000. I wasn't there I haven't seen the whole situation But there's no way that doesn't make sense In my mind Unless I'm missing something I'm always happy to learn something But this doesn't make sense This is predatory Almost$600 Almost$600 for Six years That's bad Good news is you lost weight Since the last time we talked but I gained weight So you can yell at me for that I'll yell at you for this you yell at me for that

24:36Okay, I'm scared Like what do we do from here? Can we make a budget? Will you actually follow a budget? Like, I Again, this might sound rude And some people have found this rude But I'm going to say this just to put things into perspective for you As a parent And I am not a parent But we can talk about this from an economic point And responsibility point If we are going further into debt If we are choosing to eat out and go do these things that are fun and we are not contributing as much to paying off the debts and then eventually retirement so that you can have a full place to retire equals irresponsibility.

25:14Because what are you doing in that situation when you are choosing food and new cars at$20 ,000 with a predatory loan over these responsibilities? You are saying that you are forcing your children to then take care of you when you're in your 70s Because you have nothing saved up and have to rely on social security if it even exists at that point That's what you are choosing now Do you understand that? Does that make sense? Yes Okay Okay Have you ever thought about it like that? No Okay, well maybe that's what we need to hear right now so that we can do what is right and overcome it. Because you had a fire lit under your butt, and this is what scares me every single time, is you had a fire lit under your butt for a couple months, but then a setback will happen, a little setback will happen, a setback will happen.

26:02Even a major one like a car thing, and I do understand that. But we can't let that derail our entire life. We need you to be able to take care of yourself. What about the husband? Does he have any in retirement for you both? Has he been applying for jobs like as a full-time job? Mm-hmm. Okay. What job did he have? He was a retail manager. A retail manager. But retail is hiring like crazy. Mm-hmm. I mean, he's putting the job. I'm helping him put in the job application. Is he not willing to take a temporary job of working$15 an hour in retail just to make some money for 40 hours a week? He has not gotten callbacks.