Changing Lives Through an Army of Normal Folks | Coach Bill Courtney

28:05And that's the part that I struggle with in how, what are the words, uh, actions? And this is really the question back to you that, that are the, that get us in a mind frame where we can kind of, kind of get out of ourselves a little bit, a little, little more intentional in, in our interactions with people. Is there something that you recommend or someone that you know that has a good philosophy on this or a quote or something that can kind of – we're just so wrapped up in our day-to-day lives that we forget that like a smile from you through this screen could change my entire day. And if we could – the more we do that, that spreads.

28:47That spreads a positive virus, a positive virus throughout versus this negativity that we feel all the time. I don't know, man. I mean, maybe it's a little old school and hokey, but I think the golden rule still applies. Yeah. You know, I mean, just do unto others as you would like done unto you. How hard is that? That is so old school, time tested and applicable today as it was whenever it was written. And I love what you're saying. Um, likewise, um, you know, if, if, if you have a child with autism that's being bullied at school, think about, for those of you listening who have children, think about how your basic instinct, your most primal basic instinct is to love and protect your child.

29:47imagine the gut-wrenching feeling you have sending your kid away from your protective cocoon every day to a place called a school where you know they're about to live in agony because of the bullying imagine the difficulty and we had guests who's really beautiful teenage autistic kid was ostracized and bullied and not included in anything who at 17 year old killed herself. And her name was Erin. And her father told me and I will try not to get emotional saying this but her father told me, you know Bill if she had one friend she'd be alive today. One. Two days later they're sitting in Aaron's bedroom because I got to clean all this stuff out now.

30:50Their daughter's dead. And they're sobbing and holding each other and trying to just figure out how to get through the next day. And in that moment of despair, their passion and their discipline overtook them. And they said, we don't ever want this to happen to any more parents like us. if she only had one friend. And so they started an organization in honor of their daughter called Erin's Hope for Friends. And the first time, it was eight kids in their community. And all they did was reach out to parents who had children with autism, and they picked out a night, and they brought them together, and they had Cokes and snacks and video games and music, and they said, hey, have a blast.

31:38We're leaving. And the parents got the hell out of there, and they let these kids do what kids want to do. Hang out. Be buddies. And then they started these things called, I think they're called e-houses or whatever. Anyway, now there is Aaron's e-houses and e-clubs and Aaron's. Anyway, there's thousands of autistic kids who have places to go twice a week all over the country as a result of this. This is just another one of our stories, right? Right. Aaron's Hopeful Friends. And.

32:18If somebody in the middle of the most desperate time in their life. Losing their child to suicide who they knew was getting bullied and they just desperately couldn't do anything to help her. Can find a way. To. Help other people. we all can. And it's, it's simply, it is really simply how would I have liked to have been helped? How would my daughter have liked to have been helped? You know? And so it is, it's just, it's, to me, it is that simple. It is just having the temerity to get out of your comfort zone and out of your bubble. We see opportunity every day. And we also know what we're good at and what we like to do it's just having the temerity to employ to spend a little time and employ that passionate ability where need is and if you like you said you talked about touch points but if we had a hundred million people a third of our country doing that um what would our culture look like today versus what it does

33:35because we can't wait you know no there is no waiting who is going to come save us yes the government cnn and fox we know that's not going to happen and we all sit around hand-wringing about look at the division look at the disintegration of culture look at where our society's going you know what's going to become of us well here's what's going to come of us we were started by we the people. We can be fixed by we the people. It's just, do we have the same courage and foresight that our forefathers did? They were fighting the British. We're fighting ourselves. All we got to do is break it down and understand that we still have all the power, liberty, ability, passion, energy, and opportunity today that we did two and a half centuries ago.

34:28We just have to have the willingness and the temerity to address it. And I believe with everything I am, a literally army of normal folks engaging in culture, breaking down stereotypes, working hard for one another, using passion and discipline to employ it in areas of opportunity genuinely fixes this country. So how do we inspire those messages? We tell them every week. Every single guest leaves their personal information. So if you're in a literal thing that happened, you're in Scottsdale, Arizona, and you hear a story about a guy in Memphis who's working to properly help grow the black middle class.

35:11You like that? Connect with each other. And then bring that guy to Scottsdale and do it in Scottsdale. And that happened this month. It's connectivity. It's inspiration. There's always safety in numbers. So it's encouragement and it's taking back our culture and our narrative from the people who were incented by power and wealth to divide us. I wrote this article called How to Keep America the Greatest Country on Earth. and in it the crux of my argument is that while most people quote and this is not uh any context on what you said but we the people most often to me the most brilliant part and the core message of that document is actually this the paraphrasing obviously to form a more perfect union what our founding fathers gave us was our mission in that sentence.

36:15We the people, yes, right? It's about the people. However, they gave us our mission, the continual improvement of the union. And it is through these micro actions that we take on an individual basis as your term, common folk, that, you know, everyday folk, that it's these actions that are so important. And to me, it's a difficult thing because life is tough. It is complicated. The world does seem more confusing and faster paced than ever before. Obviously, I've only lived since 1981. So I can't, you know, for some of those years, I was a child and had no idea. So I can't say beforehand whether life was more hectic or not.

37:01But my understanding, my reading, talking to people, this is most likely the most hectic, most fast-paced, most confusing time in the existence of our species. And the only way to break through that is through these little micro actions, through these little positive touch points. And like you said, this is the part where I think people get hung up, and I'd really like your opinion on it. When I talk to people about these things, oftentimes they feel like if they were to do something, if it doesn't create some massive improvement, then what's the use, right? And, you know, I give, you know, I take a portion of what I make through my business and the various ways that we generate revenue.

37:54And I give it to this small veterans charity. I didn't serve. I wish I did. I almost did. I didn't. I ended up getting a baseball scholarship and chose that life instead. But these guys just have a store that basically veterans in our community get to come down and they get allocated a certain amount of credits, call it, every month. And they can come down and shop for what they need. And they sign up for the program and they, you know, there's certain stipulations. But as long as you fit whatever the criteria is, you know, most of it, a lot of these people are homeless or near homeless. and they get to come in and they get to shop for stuff and they don't have to pay for it.

38:40They get to allocate a certain amount and depending on what they need and whatever. And the amount that I give them is not like, you know, it doesn't like make their year, but it's like, you know, I said to my friends, like, you know what? You know, geez, why do you do this or this? And I just was like, I don't know. What if, like you said, one person is going to be hungry this month and my 2 ,500 bucks that I give them, or, you know, something depends on what it is, allows somebody to freaking eat. And, and I'm not, that's not like a, I'm not trying to say that I'm perfect. Cause I'm certainly not, I certainly could do more, but it's like, why I just, I, I guess I'm looking for, and maybe we just don't have the answer and you've given it.

39:23And maybe the answer is probably in the various episodes that you've done of your show is like, what is that what is that statement that someone like me so so i finished this show with you i mean i started crying about the story i'm completely inspired by you your mission and uh and and alex and what you guys are doing like what is when when i get pushback or someone who doesn't understand this concept or maybe just is caught up in themselves i guess i'm looking for the words or the the concept that i can give to them to kind of crack them open to to turn their brain a little bit if someone's listening and they're like ah yeah i hear bill and man he sounds like a great guy and love what he's doing but what's that word that concept that idea that that we can put in front of them to just crack them open a little bit and maybe get them to do something first tell aaron's family that one person would have made a difference

40:22just hear that okay um second to your initial thought that you know if it doesn't make some huge big splash it's not worth getting involved in the first place um you know um tell aaron's family that tell tell aaron's family um And I know this sounds like a shameless plug, but I dare you to listen to any three episodes of an army of normal folks and not see the answer to your question. I dare you. A double dog dare you. Triple dog. I'll make a bet. I'll do anything. Because honestly, your question is a really fair one. I was asking that of myself when this started. All right. Please remember, I don't find the guest.

41:22I don't do the production. I don't add the music. I don't do the artwork. I don't run the social media. I'm the host, right? And I'm the host because something rolled out of my mouth that sounded interesting and they built a show around it. Okay. But I got to be honest with you. I was also, you know, on the fence. Does this really make a difference? Hey, Alex, can you give me the thing, the thing we just did for Shop Talk? Does this really make a difference? Ironically, before we got on, I just recorded next Friday's Shop Talk. Okay? Yep. So I'm going to give you some stuff. Yeah, love it. But I wondered, right?

42:06So here you go. Now, two listeners have joined CASA, where they advocate for foster children in the legal system. A Haitian orphanage, which is called A Place of Hope. Haitian orphanage now is adopting the model of another show we did called Sleep in Heavenly Peace, whose volunteers have built 140 ,000 beds for kids without them in the United States. This Haitian orphanage has a woodworking shop. So now Haitian orphans without families are building beds for Haitian children who have families but no beds. That orphanage pump went out, and it's the only pump and generator to provide clean drinking water for an entire area of Haiti.

42:59We put a call out to the Army. Within two days,$27 ,000 was raised, and this whole place has lights and clean drinking water because people just listened in.

43:14A member of the Army, meaning someone who subscribes to the Army, started running with the homeless through the Atlanta chapter of Back on My Feet, which I told you about. He's reached out to Sleep in Heavenly Peace to volunteer with them. He's donated to meet several requests on Care Portal. another thing we had and he is now supporting a future superhero and friends which is another episode um Tommy Norman who was a one of our first guests is considered the Michael Jordan of community policing in North Little Rock Bill just want to say thanks for the hope I reached out to your guest officer Tommy Norman after your episode and to my amazement he called me back like you said he would we talked about my daughter who's facing addiction and I almost lost her.

44:01I generally think he saved her. Army wrote about being on Mike Rowe, inspiration. An Oklahoma listener named Jim Pina is replicating the model of another guest, Big Al Holden Secret Families, and they will now give 10 ,000 gifts to 2 ,000 kids whose family We Can't Afford Christmas on Christmas Eve. Premium member Pastor Donald Fry has talked about several episodes in his sermons. As a result, his church is involved in a number of activities that have been highlighted on our Army of Normal folks. And he even preached on a thing called Don't Be a Turkey Christian based on a billboard we had in Times Square and my appearance on Kelly Clarkson's show talking about this.

44:55it goes on and on and on none of this is big none of it did you hear everything i said there's nobody here who started some massive organization but these are to your word touch points all over our country what if we had 100 million of them think of what our culture looks like how different we approach and think about and appreciate one another. And Army of Normal folks, we the people making differences every day where they can, your passion, your discipline, your ability in areas of opportunity, not in massive ways but in small ways, just with massive volume, changes all of it. And this is proof.

45:39We've been on air 10 months, dude. Love spreads. It does. It's contagious. It's contagious. I didn't even mean to have that list. It's just the timing happened to be that we did that today. But there you go. I appreciate it. I, I, I, I'm, I'm moved and inspired and, and, you know, it's, it's, it's funny. You know, you hear these stories and you start questioning your own contributions. You know what I mean? You should. I do. It is so true. When I interview somebody and they go through their whole thing, I find myself inspired every interview. And then I think to myself, damn, Bill, you could do more here.

46:25Or you could, I mean, hell, this thing's costing me money because every other week I'm donating to something I never heard of because the guest inspires me. But you know what? I don't miss it. Yeah. You know? And, man, now I'm going to brag. but there's two of my kids work in D.C., believe it or not, and there's a kid up there. I'm not going to use any names. There's a kid up there who is really, really bright and has an internship in D.C. Goes to the University of Alabama. I don't know what the exact word for what he has is, but he slurs and drools a little when he speaks, and he doesn't walk particularly well.

47:10When he was a baby, he was afflicted with something that causes him to have motor function issues. But cerebrally, he's 100 % there. Now, this guy is in D.C. on an internship by himself. Do you think he's making many friends? Do you think people are really engaging with this guy in D.C.? one of my daughter's friends noticed this guy walking in the rain and pulled up next to him and shared her umbrella and walked him and got to know a little bit about him. And yesterday he celebrated his birthday in D.C. with my daughter and her daughter's friend and 17 other people all around him and had a birthday party for him.

47:57And he said it was his first birthday party and by every three of them. Now, look, what? That's not anything. That's not an organization. That's not anything. It's just normal folks being passionate about someone, not as advantaged as they are seeing an opportunity of need and filling it and changing this kid's life. He doesn't even want to go back. He's going to stay in DC now and work for a nonprofit serving people writing a grant request because one person was simply kind to him. We can change this country. If an army of normal folks will break through all the noise, use our passion and discipline and area need and fill it.

48:41And we're telling those stories through those stories, trying to inspire more and more people to do the same. Guys, I hope what you hear in the stories that Bill is telling, because this is what I'm hearing is. it's one moment you can change the course of someone's life in right now that's two day two day right now out where do you live i don't even know where you live uh upstate new york albany area okay i guarantee you i don't know how big albany is i can guess i guarantee you there's 5 000 people right now in your town in serious distress that many more but yes yeah Yeah. Yeah. OK. It would not take much to change one person's life today.

49:25Yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I want to change topics slightly. Same vein, slightly different question as we get towards the end here, because something that's very near and dear to my heart is sports and the coaching of sports. And as I've gotten involved in the coaching of youth sports, I have been very disenfranchised by the way I would compare how I was coached as a youth to how kids today are coached. I did an episode on it. Yeah. Yeah. So my kids play travel baseball. They love baseball and they both enjoy it. and they play other sports too. I am not a you pick a sport, certainly not at 8 and 10.

50:20The younger one plays football and basketball. The older one just plays basketball and baseball and then does all kinds of camps and shit. They do all kinds of stuff. That's great. And I do coach both of them as an assistant, but I have seen things that I just don't remember seeing when I was a kid. And I was a pretty aware kid. I wasn't, you know, I was pretty, pretty aware of what was going on. My dad coached me and I had all kinds of different coaches and I was, it was a different era. You know, my high school football coach one time shoulder pressed me by my face mask for getting a 15 yard late hit penalty.

51:00I was, I was, you deserved it. And that's the funny thing. You know, the funny thing is, you know, so I tell these stories to my kids because I want them to understand where I come from right because you know my whole message to them is outcomes don't matter attitude and effort is all that matters it's attitude and effort there will be a time in your career if you continue down this path where outcomes matter but today it's attitude and effort and uh you know and I share some stories with them how you know like I had uh I played for an American Legion post um when I was coming up that was like the best travel ball in the area was American Legion Same here.

51:37Yeah. Same here. Legion post. And I, and I loved being part of that community. It was great. They would host us and the guys would come in and it was, it was awesome. And they would come to our games a lot of times. It was, it was a wonderful experience, but I'd had my third base coach would be smoking a cigar. And my first base coach would be, would be ripping heaters down at first base as he's giving signs with his other hand. And, um, and I told him, you know, and, and I just explained to them how, how we were, It was very direct, but honest and sincere and caring, but gruff and direct and to the point.

52:08And I shared with them a story about how, you know, I was younger, whatever. We were losing to this team. They were talking trash. And I came up with two guys on. I hit a home run. And I pimped the home run. I shouldn't have. I'm not advocating for that in any way. But I did. And the moment my foot hit home plate, I expected my teammates to be there. It was the head coach of my baseball team who literally picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, walked me to the dugout, and threw me into the dugout, right? And I sat there, and I looked at him, and I was like, yeah, I deserve that. That was my mentality, right?

52:48And today, it's completely different. I mean, if you look at him wrong, they start crying. And so let me get to my question. Sorry, that was a lot of context. My question to you is more what I have seen today and what I would love for you just to comment on however you feel fit is the parents today have taken over in a way in which it feels to have so much of these sports have been corrupted by adults, by the parents off the field, by coaches who are either hellbent on winning or hellbent on making their kid. the starting shortstop, number one hitter, you know, whatever, all these different things.

53:30And I just struggle with this so much. And I'd just love for you to talk a little bit about it with all your experience, what you see and what may be a solution or a path to start to break free of this, or even just very personally to me, how I can continue to coach my own kids and the kids on my teams um to become you know i just want them to love the game and appreciate it and enjoy it and and and be the best versions of themselves you know what just a kind of open ended where wherever you want to take that it's revolting it makes me want to throw up hey what's the uh alex what's the episode i think we did a shop talk on parents and kids and sports do you know what episode that was yeah about a month and a half ago we did a shop talk episode on this very thing um i'll find it and have it linked up in the show notes for everybody so i'll make sure that that's in the show i wish you would it's a it's a it's a shop talk i can't do you remember the title see if you can find it and i'll tell it to him because he's going to link it to the show So it's revolting and it's gross.

54:44And ultimately, we're robbing the kids of what the experience should be, which is long after the days of playing football and baseball are over, what you learn on the baseball field should serve you and your family and your business and society and the way you approach life. all of it and if pimping a home run is the basis of who you are well you're going to suffer those consequences one day and in my opinion your coach was easy on you yes on May 23rd there is a thing called that week titled flagging parents for parental interference got it which will give you my real and I've I've got a few stats in there that might be helpful.

55:41But the bottom line is helicopter parents, people who want to relive their high school hero days through their kids, people who didn't have high school hero days that want to live vicariously through the successes of their kids, all of them make me want to vomit. So what do I do as a coach? I have a pre-whatever meeting, a preseason meeting. And look, honestly, I am one of the most competitive human beings you've ever want to see, and I expect to win every game and want to win every championship, state, whatever. And I know in travel ball, you're recruiting kids a lot, right? So I think coaches are oftentimes afraid that they may lose their two or three best players if they put their foot down.

56:37And then if that is the case, you are therefore, as the coach, part of the problem too. I would rather coach a bunch of five, six level talent kids that are nine, 10 character kids than the exact opposite. And that goes along with parents. So I have preceding meetings and I lay it out there. And if parents don't like it, I invite them to understand that the door was not locked when you walked in and you're welcome to get the hell out. But do it now because I'm not playing. But if you stay, your kids will learn the value of character, commitment, integrity, discipline, teamwork, leadership, and most importantly, grace.

57:27If they stay, they're going to learn those things. And along the way, they're also going to become better at this particular discipline, whether it's basketball, football, or baseball. My leading mantra is, I have never seen a coach hit a home run. I've never seen it. I've never seen a first base coach throw a no hitter. I've never seen a coach turn a double play. They're in the dugout. Players win games. Not coaches. Not parents. Players. Players win games. Coaches win players. And how does a coach win a player? Does he care about me? Is he holding me accountable because he's an asshole? Or is he holding me accountable because he wants me to be a better human being?

58:17Do I have a clear understanding of where I am on this team and why I'm on this team and how to improve and move up in the batting order or get more reps? And what is this character and commitment and integrity and all these basic fundamentals about? I tell all of my teams and all of my parents, we can be progressive, and I don't mean politically progressive. We can be a progressing, evolving, growing society without abandoning the core principles that got us here in the first place. And long after the days of playing the game are over, it is those very core principles and that foundation that will lead to a meaningful life with your family, with your spouse, with your children, in your business, and in your society.

59:14and I am far more concerned with your kid being a productive member of society than a productive member of this football team. So I'm going to coach that stuff and I'm going to win my players. And along the way, we're going to teach the X's and O's. And then I'm going to go let the players win the football games because that's what they do. Now you stay the hell out of my way. That's it. And if I lose some good kids and some good families, I lose them. I'll coach up what I got. But I believe so strongly in that coaching ethos that I've let many walk before. But I'll tell you something else that happens.

1:00:01Charles Barkley was being ribbed by Shaquille O 'Neal one day when Charles Barkley's daughter turned 16. And they were like, hey, man, you have guys coming over. Or, you know, they're ribbing Barkley about having a daughter about to be taken out. And Chuck said, you know, I've got the answer. I ain't worried about it. They're like, what? And they said, well, the first one that comes over, I'm going to invite him into the living room. I'm going to sit him down right there. And I'm going to offer him a glass of tea or water while she's getting dressed. I'm going to be very polite. And then when he stands up to shake my hand, I'm going to beat his ass to a pulp before he ever even sees my daughter.

1:00:39And they're like, why? And he said, because when he gets back to school, word will get around. Word will get around. Ain't nobody going to call my daughter. Word will get around. You know, it's a funny metaphor to the truth is word does get around. So if you set this foundation as a coach for your program, you may lose people the first year or so. But what happens is people start talking up the difference. And the kids that you lost or the parents that you lost because you're not putting up with that crap, there's upteen hundreds more that want their kid to be part of it and what you end up doing is creating the proper culture and you start attracting the proper kids and the proper parents and then it's not a problem word will get around bill this has been an absolute pleasure i couldn't thank you enough for sharing all the stories that you have and your insights i appreciate the hell out of you we are going to be pushing here at at this show and the venues that I have, we're going to be pushing what you guys are doing a lot, not just through the release of your episode, but out through our other channels as well, because I think you're doing God's work.

1:01:46And whether the people listening believe in God or not, I do. And I think that this is incredibly important to the culture of our country. So I just thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate the support and let's keep in touch.

1:02:07Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Came in the game for me. I never switched to no change in me. The only thing.

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