Stop Hiding: A Near-Death Wake-Up Call for Leaders | Daniel Paulin

29:28Ryan Hanley:And they're going to do everything they can to make sure that we land safely because they don't want to die either. And it was funny. I don't know. That works for me. I have no idea what works for other people. But she kind of like calmed down a little bit. And I said, I said, what that allows me to do is just release the anxiety feeling like I had like something I can can do to control this. because I can't, right? So I did the same thing with the hospital. Okay. So I'm sitting there in the hospital bed and I put all this stuff in and I have a little down moment. And I do as I normally do. I usually start with the serenity prayers, how I usually start any kind of conversation with God because that helps center me and helps really ground me.

30:09Ryan Hanley:And so for those of you who aren't familiar, God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can. Things that I cannot change. The courage to change. I think I can in the wisdom to know the difference, which I think is very, very smart in a lot of ways. And then I just kind of quieted my mind and had a little conversation. And what I kept hearing in my mind over and over again were two words. Stop hiding. Stop hiding. Stop hiding. It just kept coming back over. And this has been a message that I've been getting recently. And I think, one, I think I would be an idiot to not take this for what it is, which is a message from God, or certainly a deeper part of my consciousness in which is advocating for me.

31:07Ryan Hanley:and two um i have to act on it because what am i going to do spend the rest of my life hearing that message and wondering what it means and that has really

31:25Ryan Hanley:like i feel as motivated and as intensely focused as i have in a very long time i don't have all the answers. I don't exactly know how I'm going to execute on it, but the desire to answer that call and figure out what it means. I don't know that it's ever been as strong as it is in this moment. That's good. Because to a certain extent, I have felt like I'm hiding, you know, I, I think for a while the show has been good and I love this show, but I feel like I've been a little surfacy, trying to be a little too professional, a little, and I don't mean necessarily, you know, going unprofessional, but just like a little too packaged, you know, a little too, which is, which is fine for some people, but it's not my way.

32:15Ryan Hanley:I love to talk about as deep as you want to go on whatever shit you're interested in. I want to go there. You know what I mean? I love that. And, um, it's been a very, the last 48 plus hours have been very, uh, very heady in a very positive way, but very heady. I think the people who have the most success are the ones that aren't afraid to be true. And I wish you the most success. I certainly do. I care about you a great deal. I have to say to you that when we take a look at the top people in the world, and I'm a radio guy. So I always say, Howard Stern didn't make it because he had a good voice.

32:53So when you talk about the people who really stand out, the Joe Rogans, the Howard Sterns, the people who really push the envelope, they're not playing vanilla. They're just being true. They say things that rub people the wrong way. And, you know, like in Howard Stern's movie, he says, people who don't like me listen as long as people like me because they want to see what I have to say. So I think that being, first of all, I tell everybody, you need to be vulnerable and honest with your audience because in radio, they always remember if you're lying. If you say something that isn't true, six months later, they're like, you told me you didn't like that color or whatever.

33:32Like the audience has a relationship with you. So because of that, they don't forget. So I think that being honest is always impactful. Being vulnerable is always impactful. I think that people resonate with the fact that you're just a real person like them and that you had health scare and you have concerns and you look at it. I think people resonate with that because there's somebody that's going to listen to something that you and I have to say today that's going to resonate with them perfectly because it's true. So, you know, I think that whatever avenue you decide to be when you grow up and you start moving forward, the truth is to be authentic to yourself and the audience will fall in love with the person who you are.

34:13Ryan Hanley:honestly i haven't thought of this as much as it's annoying i'm looking forward to they gotta like make sure i don't have a blood clot and then they gotta bang me with the paddles a couple times like get my heart back in rhythm and i'll be fine like essentially the diagnosis is like i want a full review i want a full review of all of it yeah yeah i go so what happens like because basically like my heart my heart rhythm is off that's like everything else is fine you know it's not really like life threatening. It's more just annoying because anytime I try to do something even remotely physical, my heart rate pins and, um, and it's just, it's just annoying.

34:50Ryan Hanley:Um, that being said, um, and I apologize. The only person who can ring through on my phone is my ex-wife cause it has to do with the kids and she is seemingly, uh, calls it the worst times. um so so basically they they just need to uh they need to make sure that i don't have a blood clot and then they basically just take the paddles and give you a whack yeah restart it jump you hitting the nintendo reset button on your the one thing i've never done so i want a full review yeah i'll let you know and i've taken 110 from outlets before oh yeah me too the first time the first time, first home I ever bought was a two family in Albany, New York.

35:35Ryan Hanley:And they're all around like 1900 to 1920. All of them were built there. And I had no idea what I was doing, except I know this outlet didn't work. And because I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't turn the panel off. And I just went right in with a screwdriver and took that, took that shot of 110, just took that right in your whole body shakes, you drop the screwdriver. I was like, Like this is what learning lessons the hard way is all about. So no, I think I haven't seen this. The interesting part is other than it being annoying, I haven't seen it as anything other than a blessing because I feel like this is – this was my body screaming back at me.

36:18Ryan Hanley:You have been masking a disconnect between what you should be doing and what you are doing for too long. and you obviously are not getting the point. And I can't look at it as any other way. I mean, it's a stress-induced condition that's brought on by, you know, lack of sleep and different things like this. And, you know, if a guy goes, if you're 22, I would whack you right here on the spot and send you back on the street. He goes, you know, because you're 44, we should probably take a little more time or whatever, which, you know, I appreciate it. But so I think these moments, um you know what I'm trying to do is capture the moment not let the moment just pass me by like have it be this you know like like a like a um uh like a new year's resolution right you have this moment in time and you make this big commitment and then it just passes you by and you never end up going to the gym or doing the thing or asking the girl out I I want to take this as a as a true sign from God in my body to say, like, you wouldn't have had the tension that brought this condition on if you had been more aligned with who you want to be with you grow up in the life that you want to live and the people that you want to interact with every day.

37:40And like,

37:42Ryan Hanley:hey, dummy, time to wake up, like time to time to take some action time to as that message that I keep getting time to stop hiding. And man, it's kind of, it's very, it feels very powerful, uh, to, to, to almost be given a gift like this, if that makes sense. Yeah. You know, about a year ago, I had a conversation with my wife. Um, uh, my wife is 20 years younger than me. So I'll take the congratulations. And, and I'm sorry, because we don't like the same music.

38:22We had a conversation about a year ago, nine months ago, something like that. And I said, we need to make some changes. We have a big, we, we at that point had a big six bedroom house, and lots of children living in the house and, you know, two car garage, a storage room and a studio space for me to practice my show and all of that stuff. And I said, let's just get rid of it all. Literally, let's get rid of it all. So once she agreed, we listed the house and sold it right away. I got rid of the storage unit, the rehearsal space, and I had an old car and a Harley Davidson in the garage, got rid of them, got rid of everything.

39:08When I say everything, we bought a small condo in our city next to my children's school. I have two teenage children that still go to high school and I have a newborn. And so we bought a condo right next to the school so that they could walk to school. And we got rid of everything. And now, when I say now, today, I don't even know what day is, Tuesday, Friday, we go. and we're going to travel and we're going to live and do things. And we're going to experience things with this child and create memories and do things. Now, I'm still going to work. I'm still going to put out books and still do my shows and all of that stuff.

39:51But I'm not going to be governed by a mortgage payment or an insurance payment. I'm not going to. I live in Canada, so I'm not going to worry about shoveling the driveway or any of those things because I really want to be in a position that I can create those memories that we talked about earlier and live and drink the wine and kiss the girl and do all of those things that are essential in who I want to be when I grow up. And at first, I got to say, it was almost sickening getting rid of things. It's surprising we spent our entire lives collecting things that we don't use. I mean, And respectfully, I'm looking at you on the screen and you got books that I would like to think that you've read that you'll never read again.

40:37But you put them on the shelf and they become things that we collect. And then when you go in the garage, you have things that you could use just if I need. I'm going to save this wood. Hopefully I need it one day. And we spend a lifetime paying to store things that we might use. And I remember saying to my wife, I'm just getting rid of all of this stuff. And she said, yeah, but what if we need it? And I thought to myself, for the amount of money I'm going to save in not having to store it, I could afford to buy it again if I needed it and then throw it away or give it away. And when I purged all of these things, I felt free, like free from burden and free from responsibility.

41:17And I didn't have to worry about hydro at the rehearsal space or I didn't have to worry about insurance on a motorcycle that I barely drive. Like so many things freed me. And I just got so little responsibility now that suddenly working 18 hours a day became so less important because I didn't need that money. I didn't need those things. And it's funny, as a parent, I feel as though I'm chasing finances so that I can pay for schooling or leave money for my children and all of that stuff. Many years ago, my father passed away and he was a very, very wealthy man. He had cancer and he knew. This is going down a rabbit hole quickly.

42:12It's so funny. I took my father to the doctor who wasn't feeling well, as you talked about earlier. And the doctor said, you have multiple myeloma. And he said, it's a blood cancer that unfortunately we can't do anything about. It's going to take you. And my father said, well, how long will I have? And he said, you're going to die in two years. My father died two years on the day. And you know why? Because he had a day. The doctor should have told him 10. So when you decide that that's the time, that's the time. I mean, you're looking forward and looking at it like a, like it's a calendar mark.

42:45And, um, uh, it became such an obsession with him that he hit his mark. And, um, he was a very wealthy man that didn't leave me anything. And he said to me a few months before he died, I'm not going to leave you any money. And there was a part of me that was like, oh my God, you could have left me some, you know what I mean? He said, I have taught you everything that you need to do to be successful in life. If you need my money, I've taught you nothing. And there was a lot of truth to that because he did teach me to work with my hands and he did teach me to be a people person and all of those things.

43:23And in turn, I didn't need his money to have success and to raise a family and all of those things. So I'm at that pinnacle point in my life where I'm looking at my own legacy and the things that I'm creating. And I bet you when my children comes, my children would love it if I gave them all$100 ,000 or something, you know what I mean? But in the same respect, if I haven't taught them to be self sufficient, I've, I've really failed as a father. So when you're chasing your own ace and deciding what you need, and putting all of that into perspective, just make sure you're chasing it for the right reasons.

43:57Because the 100 ,000 or the million or the 10 ,000, whatever it is that you leave for your children, I can promise you, they're going to piss it away on something that you wish that they didn't buy. I could tell you my, my 17 year old to buy new PlayStation. And I'm like, that's what you do with the money I leave you. You know what I mean? And you know, by by 19, he'd take 10 of his friends out and they'd get drunk. Like that's the wrong thing to do with the money that I worked so hard my entire life for. So the truth is to bring strong values and to give a good perspective and to show them work ethics and morals and all of those things.

44:29So when when you're visiting all of this, and we're not on this call, and you're you're really resonating on what your tomorrow holds and what you're going to be when you grow up, I want you to really understand that you just have to understand what you're chasing and what you're doing it for. Because if you're working your ass off so that you can leave a bunch for your kids, you should have spent the time with the kids. If you're working your ass off so that you can build a home so that you can get a spouse, you should have just walked in the park with somebody that you loved and appreciated the falling leaves.

44:57Your perspective on what you need to be when you grow up isn't what you think. And that's the problem. We always want to be better than our parents. We want to, they've, they've paved the way and you look at their love or you look at their finances or the way they lived and you think, I'm not going to live off of no name rice. I'm going to have more than that. I'm going to eat steak, whatever that is. And the way we look at the way we're raised and how we hope to raise our children different and how we hope to live our life different in the end our kids are going to do what they're going to do our life is going to be what it is how many memories how many things that have you banked in the end it's it's not about the money in the bank it's the money it's the memories in the in the memory bag and uh i really wish that when our time talking today is finished i really wish that you would look at your own life and and understand that it's just things.

45:53We're surrounded with things that our family will throw away because if you don't tell your kids why that book behind you is important, they're not going to read it. If you don't tell your children why you saved this rock that you have in your keepsake drawer, they're going to wonder why you saved a silly rock. So if you've filled your home and your storage with a whole bunch of things that mean something to you, it'll find its way into the bin when they're cleaning out the house to sell it. So, you know, take a long look at what you have around you and make sure that it's impactful to the people who need to be impacted.

46:36And if you live your life like that, your words, your actions, your podcasts, your stories, your talks will be so much more to the people that you're sharing them with. because you will be doing it legitimately from a strong place within you.

46:49Ryan Hanley:Have you ever heard the parable of the Mexican fisherman? Share it with me.

46:57Ryan Hanley:Man in his 30s wakes up in the morning, has breakfast with his family, grabs his fishing gear, walks down to the beach, he's got a little boat tied up, gets in his boat, goes out into the ocean, fishes, catches fish for the day, brings them back, cleans them up, cleans his fishing gear, puts it away, goes back home, makes dinner for his family, prepares it, eats dinner with his family, enjoys them, they play music, they dance, they go to sleep. He wakes up the next day and he has breakfast with his family and goes fishing. One day, an American man, a businessman, sees him on the beach walking during a vacation, starts asking him questions he says what do you do i fish ask him some more questions i'm one of the better fishermen in the in the town every day i go out i catch fish i bring them back and the american says why don't you sell the fish and the mexican fisherman says why would i do that he says well if you sell the fish you can make money and you can hire people to do the fishing for you and they're going to make enough money that you can hire a second boat and then eventually you'll have a fleet and then once you have that fleet you can invest in a relationship with a cannery and you can start selling your fish canned around the world and you can use that money to buy yourself a home near the beach so that you can go fishing with your family and eat breakfast with them and dinner and the Mexican fisherman just smiled and walked away because the point of the parable is he already had the life that the money would have bought him.

48:45Ryan Hanley:So why does he need the money, right? And I think that those parables are great, and I think the lesson is incredibly powerful and important. However, I think in reality there are things that we need to be cognizant of, like having some sort of financial safety net, a saving. There are things we can do to make sure that if we have an awful day, right, we get to continue the life that we want. But the point I think is really powerful and it's something I've thought a lot about. And just to be transparent, I picked that up from Chris Williamson, Modern Wisdom Podcast. He's told that a few times and that's where I picked that story up.

49:21Ryan Hanley:But I've thought about it for a few years now since the first time I heard him share it because I have a propensity personally. And I think a lot of people who listen to this show probably share this just as in the nature of continuing to listen to my work is left to my own devices. I'll just keep not accumulating stuff, but accumulating, right? I want to grow more, more audience, uh, more, this more, more, not, not necessarily even it's, it's the, the, It's like an addiction to progress is probably the best way to put it. I actually live a fairly simple life. I don't have a lot of needs. I'm much more of an experienced person.

50:02Ryan Hanley:The only thing I get from my kids for their birthdays is experiences. My older son, every year we take a pilgrimage to Buffalo and we go see a Bills game and we sit in nice seats and we do the whole thing and it's awesome. And then my younger son, his birthday is in the wintertime, so we usually choose to do an NBA game or we go see WWE or whatever. Same thing. It's experiences. We like to do stuff. But I love to accumulate. It's like in my nature. I love to accumulate. I love to see progress, progress, progress. And like when I hear that and I slow down and I think about the parable of the Mexican fisherman, it reminds me that like I got two amazing kids that I have a very good relationship with, all things considered.

50:45Ryan Hanley:I have good friends that I love to talk to. I have I currently have a woman that I really enjoy spending time with. Why would I prioritize things that are really only getting me more of the things that I already have? Like, I don't really need a whole lot more than what I have right now. It sounds like you've answered the question that you started this podcast with because you were asking. you're at a pinnacle point where you can make some changes and what you're chasing. I've just listened to you talk for 30 minutes about every single thing that you asked in the first two minutes of our conversation.

51:30The truth of the matter is you've come to terms, whether you like it or not, that you have to understand the journey you're going and what you're chasing. I mean, please correct me and everybody who's listening to this and tell me that I'm wrong. But the truth of the matter is right there. You just described to me the answer of your very first question. You're the fisherman. So whatever decision that you choose to make, whether it's, it's more of this or more stages or whatever, just decide what you're canning. Yeah.

52:04Ryan Hanley:You know, you know what it is, dude? Um, I don't, when I say progress, I don't mean accolades and I don't necessarily mean money, although I love money as much as the next person. It's more like, I want to know how good I can be. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Like just understand what you're, you're sacrificing to be that. Yes. And that's, that's where I get messed up sometimes is like, okay. And we've talked about this. Like we talked about the speaking thing. I get really messed up in my head and I hope for you guys listening, I hope I hope this is valuable because taking context, the crazy shit that you have going on, your things are going to be different, but most likely the same, I think, for a lot of people.

52:55Ryan Hanley:Speaking in particular, if all if I if every day I got to wake up and perform, right, I would be maybe not every day, but, you know, I would be incredibly happy. It's what I love doing more than anything. Reacting with the crowd, reading the crowd, interacting. It's where I feel the most challenged and also the most alive, real-time feedback. That tone, you know, the inflection on that word didn't work there. And man, I made eye contact with her, but she wasn't really the right person to pull the energy out. I should have focused on him or this woman over here. Like, just, I did, I moved and I was too wide-ranging in my movements.

53:36Ryan Hanley:I wasn't wide-ranging. Like, you know what I mean? Like that constant, it's just, you are completely present, 100 % present, except it takes me away from the reason that I do it, which is the people I love. I struggle with that so much. And I know my thinking is not healthy or right, but I will tell you, I struggle with that so much. So I'm interested being that you're working. I did that. It cost me everything. Yeah. I did that. Talk to me about that. Waste. Yeah. My God. I wanted, you just described everything that I wanted. I just wanted to be in front of the audience every day. Like I lived for it.

54:18I was chasing the accolades, the finances, the fame, all of that shit. I wanted it exactly as you just described. And sometimes God gives you what you ask for. so I had a theater 700 people two shows a day seven days a week for seven years I did that and I can tell you about four months into it it was a mistake because having the audience and having the applause and all of that stuff meant it cost me my marriage my relationship with my kids it meant I wasn't uh present on Thanksgiving I couldn't go out and have a beer with a friend I got exactly what I asked for. And it was so expensive on my life that it was the poorest investment I've ever made.

55:12It, it always sounds great. It just wasn't. Be careful what you ask for. What you know what you know what you what you really need to to sit with, you really need to say, I need two or three days a week where I get that and I can perform and be all of that, but I can unplug the other days and be what's really important. Saying, I want to do this many podcasts or be on this many television shows, or I want to be on this many stages. You're right, but it's not, there's no value in more in that situation. I'm confident when we look at the actors and musicians that we look up to and the people who we see value in on all of those things.

56:00If you were to ask them, you got millions and millions of dollars and everyone in the world knows you. And they're like, yeah, I'd just like to be able to buy a candy bar without having to get a picture and an autograph. You're giving it all up. And when you and I talk, I always want to say to you, how can I get on more stages? Is there doors that you can open and people you can introduce me to so that I can share my story and my passion with more people. And it's one of the things that I want to ask every time when I talk to you. And then when I listen to you say that you want more, I want to be like, no, don't, don't do it, man.

56:40Ask for some, ask for some. Yeah. And look at how many that you already have, because when you get that adrenaline push and you walk out on stage and you get the applause and the motivation and the people who follow you and thank you for your inspiring words it might be enough it uh i just understand you're right i

57:02Ryan Hanley:think you're right i i actually i actually agree with you um i think i'm looking for the feeling i think i haven't had the feeling in a long time i have done gigs have been great don't get me wrong But I haven't had a steady flow of that feeling in a while. And I think a lot of it has been recently the things that add energy to my life have been like these side quests that have aided into my personal life. and the things that extract energy from my life have been like nine to five during the day. And that's when I think about this idea of stop hiding. I don't necessarily want to be, you know, I got buddies who do, who do the 180, 200 day a year travel and like one or two of them are okay at home.

58:04Ryan Hanley:All the rest of them are, their home lives are a disaster, which is why I have never done it. I mean, I had the opportunity. I had two years in a row, which there's not as many as others, but two years in a row where I did, you know, 40 plus gigs, um, which is a decent number when you also have a full-time job and kids at home and that kind of stuff. Um, and even that was so stress, stress inducing on the things that are supposed to matter, your relationship with your family, your spouse, your parent, you know, all that kind of stuff that it, it started, as you said it started to detract from the actual experience so it's like finding a good balance but I think where where I'm trying to get to is in between those we'll call them peak moments right being on stage in front of a great audience and really getting to rip how do you filling that time with the energy with the energy creating activities I think is where is this I this kind of concept of not hiding anymore and um The problem is I know the path and I just haven't had the balls to execute it.

59:09Ryan Hanley:At the end of the day, if I'm being pure, just 100 % candid with myself, I'm often too nice, too amicable. I say yes to too many things I shouldn't say yes to. I get myself involved in things that I shouldn't get involved in, that eat at time, that take away from the things that really matter. and as much as I would, you know, give myself the opposite advice if I were coaching myself, you know, being that it's between my own ears, I make these things. And it's very interesting when you hit these moments and like you start thinking about the decisions that you make and the problems you have. And you're like, God, if I were coaching myself, I would freaking cut that off in a heartbeat.

59:56Ryan Hanley:You know what I mean? Because it's you, you know, because you're in that bubble, your own world, even if you're a fairly self-aware person, which I'd like to believe I am, you still get caught in these traps. Well, we drink our own Kool-Aid. Yes, we do. It's true, right? We think that we're making the right decisions and we believe in ourselves and we always think that there's time to correct it and fix it. And we, you know, I'll get to it tomorrow or I'll make that up or all whatever. And it's, you know, until we find out it's too late. Someday, maybe, should have, could have. You know, I think.

1:00:40You know what? My biggest, I got it. This is a deep question for you. And I have to wrap it up soon. So I'm going to hit you hard right from the beginning. You don't have to explain it. But I wonder what your biggest regrets are. because I'll tell you a couple of mine just to give you an example. I am divorced and I can say all of the bad things about my ex-wife. I could point out all of her flaws. The truth of the matter is I have just as many. Perhaps it was even my fault. Was I the best version for her or was I committed in the fashion that I should have been? Can I blame her for the demise of our relationship when I wasn't the person that I should have been just even for myself, let alone for her?

1:01:24When I look at the failures with my children and the absent fathers and the times that I miss, my biggest regrets are when I look back at my biggest regrets. Oh, my God, there's one that just stands out so clearly. My firstborn son was probably too terrible to he was being an asshole. It was just one of those days that he just would not be right. And we had this timeout method that some person says is the right thing to do where you're supposed to put them in their bedroom and say timeout is, you know, you're in for timeout two minutes or whatever it is. And I remember picking him up and walking angrily to his bedroom to put him in for that timeout.

1:02:06And I walked past a piece of door trim that had a little bit of the nail sticking out and it scratched his back and made him bleed. And it wasn't, it was an accident. but for his whole life he had a little white scar on his back that reminded me that my action my anger walking him for a time out when he was just being a two-year-old child marked him for the rest of his life because I didn't react properly and here it is now 25 years later and I tell you on a podcast as one of my biggest measurements of failures as a person and when When we look back at the failures of who we are and the mistakes that we made, the biggest regrets that we really hold on are the failures that happen within ourselves.

1:02:52So when you look back at your life's biggest regrets and the things that you're failing on, it won't be because you didn't do enough podcasts or get on enough stages. It will be because you weren't present in the moment to somebody you loved. I failed everybody that I've loved. and those are my biggest regrets. When I really look back and measure my failures, they're not poor business decisions.

1:03:17Ryan Hanley:Yeah. It's never, it's. So. It's what's your biggest regrets. Yeah. You don't have to tell them to me, but I'm saying to you, they're not business decisions. Yeah. And you know what? Or if it is a business decision, it's because it cost a friendship that was valuable to you. Yeah. I think. I think. I see them fall in like really two buckets.

1:03:46It's relationships that we failed at for a whole bunch of reasons.

1:03:55Ryan Hanley:Something that has to do with a relationship. Time with kids, time with spouse, things said, things done. Or I think it's a lack of testing ourselves. I think those are the two, right? You could put lack of testing in a lot. I didn't climb the mountain. I didn't start the business. I didn't kiss the girl. I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, right? So it's, I didn't, and I say as testing ourselves because the thing really doesn't matter. What we regret is I feel like I could have been and I never even tried. Trying and not getting there, I don't think, no one regrets that. Hey, I went for it, balls to the wall, and it just didn't work.

1:04:33Ryan Hanley:It's a funny story. You know, you get past it, you know, whatever amount of time. Now it's just an anecdotal story that you tell with friends and I wish I could have, you know, whatever. But when you don't try, when you don't test yourself, when you or and I think a large part, we don't need to go down this rabbit hole considering that we're up against time here. But I think a lot of the anxiety and tension that we see in society is we have a generation grown up and that has grown up in such comfortable settings that they've never actually been tested. Therefore, even the smallest micro pain or micro frustration becomes blown out of proportion because we've never actually tested ourselves.

1:05:13Ryan Hanley:And I think if we can focus on the quality and depth of the relationships that matter and consistently testing ourselves to find out who we are, what we're capable of, I think it's hard to live with regrets. Incredibly difficult to do. And we're always – we're fallible, so it's never going to be perfect. but this idea of testing ourselves and saying, you know, that thing I did, I did as well as I possibly could and the outcomes are the outcomes, but it is, or I gave everything I had to that relationship and I tried the best I could. And, you know, I think like with my own ex-spouse, I don't think we were meant to be together, honestly.

1:05:57Ryan Hanley:I think both of us did things. I think both of us could have been better. I think both of us became bitter at certain points and probably created more tension, more friction than needed. It maybe lasted longer than it should have because we weren't as honest or open and blah, blah, blah, all those things. But could have done better. Could have done better. It's easy to forgive somebody for their wrongdoings. It's hardest to forgive yourself. Yeah. And I think that when you self-analyze and take a look at your own shortcomings, we hold ourselves to such high value that it just pains us. So, I mean, you know.

1:06:39Dude, I know you got to run. I do got to run. And listen, first of all, I can't wait to do this again with you because you and I could just talk for days. Number two, I feel like instead of you being the interviewer and the controller, I kind of controlled the whole thing today because I think that for maybe this happens to you often or not, but it sounded like you needed a good talk today and I'm glad that I could facilitate it. Um, six months from now, I'm going to be on the show with you again. And I'm going to say to you, um, what did that conversation do to influence the days that you had coming?

1:07:14Because this week, this specific week has been so impactful for you, whether it's the ambulance ride or looking at, uh, at, uh, successes and shortcomings or a conversation with me, who's been on both ends of the spectrum and, and reminded you, at least in my opinion, that sometimes love is more valuable than time. I'll be interested in doing a follow with you and seeing what changes you made and what ace you chased after today because the decisions that you make are really going to reflect on you in the next 20 years. And I'll be excited to see who you decide to be when you grow up.

1:07:54Ryan Hanley:I appreciate you so much. I had literally, I had no idea this is where we would go. This just came out and started coming out of me. And to be honest with you, I felt like I needed it and I appreciate you coming along for the ride. I wish you nothing but the best, my friend. I can't wait for the next time. And it doesn't have to be six months. You let me know. We can check in on this particular topic in six months, but it doesn't have to be because I love our conversations and I just want to keep them rolling. So thank you so much. Yeah. For the people who catch this on replay and follow and all of that stuff, I expect each and every person to help me coach Ryan through this and remind him that, you know, today's a good day.

1:08:35And there's, there's so much happening tomorrow and so many more places to see and experience and to love that, you know, people who listen and watch don't forget. So let's, let's, let's see what tomorrow holds. I appreciate my friend. And I will bug you again and get on again at my earliest convenience because I so enjoy our conversation. Me too.

1:08:58Ryan Hanley:And please do. Thank you. Awesome. Awesome. That was great. I appreciate you, man. My.