E151 - Hypnotherapist: The 10 Beliefs Controlling Your Life Without You Knowing

34:55But that young individual is still going to be like, well, I don't care. I still want it because I want to, I want to know what it feels like. So it's kind of, it's hard to try and tell someone not to do it when they have this deep down curiosity of wanting to know what it feels like. Do you know what I mean? yeah yeah uh someone says yo that's easy for you to say you have all that stuff right it sounds as though what i'm picking up from you you're really uh far down this road of self-actualization and what self-actualization says is like okay i'm starting to realize and think beyond the veil of the cage that i'm in and the cage said i need to have the prettiest girl and maybe more than one of them, despite whether, you know, we have a great relationship or not.

35:46I need to have the, you know, the fancy car and the fancy apartment that people could see me in. And then I have to have lots of money and flashy things. And just to have like a home and safety and shelter is not enough. Right? And so self-actualization says, and Maslow's hierarchy of needs, which is a pyramid, But Maslow was this psychologist that said there's a hierarchy of needs. It starts with you can't think about anything else until you have food and shelter. And then you start to think about kind of perception, and it goes all the way up to like self-actualization. And so you can't start to question your reality and what's meaningful to you if you're stuck and needing food and shelter.

36:33and i think what a lot of people do is they go into this okay they get stuck in food and shelter but now they want mansion and caviar which is fine by the way everybody does where this is a human experience but also when it becomes something that feeds a belief that says i am worthy if i have it then you never get out of it when you start a who am i without this without this body without this fancy car, without this house, without this money? Who am I if I had nothing? And still, if you find worthiness, yeah, I'm worthy because I'm alive. I'm a nice person. I'm kind. I would help someone in the street.

37:15I would defend someone. Of course, I have shadows and dark parts, but that's okay. I can accept those too. When you get to that part, which sounds like you're really exploring you explode into successfulness because you can identify what is important what do you want right and then what you can leave behind and perhaps the greater meaning of having it yeah and some people i'm i've definitely improved a lot but i think there's still I mean there's still without a doubt so many things which are holding me back and I still feel as though I will have these desires that are serving me they're no good for me and I'm aware of the fact that wanting something isn't going to provide me with happiness if anything it's actually probably gonna cause me some stress and drama but yet there's still a desire for it I'm like why am i still desiring that like sometimes and i don't know maybe there is a way to do this where you could be in complete control of the things that you do desire where you can get like do you for example do you still have desires for things that you wish you didn't have or have you mastered that and you've got rid of it um not material things anymore i used to buy all these watches i'd have like hundred thousand dollar watches on my hand and uh you know i'd go like to a party where there were other successful people and i'd kind of be measuring my success against who's yeah oh yeah that's pretty in dubai that's uh it's very prominent in dubai yeah and then and then i got to this place of like oh fuck it you know i'm so successful i don't care about a watch i'd wear like a swatch watch or something like that and it's like i've transcended watch but still i was in the game because i was just that was like me wearing a swatch watch where everybody else was wearing a vacheron was like you know i don't yeah that i'm so good i'm so good the i'm so nonchalant like yeah i'm not and wear a 25 watch because and i realized oh i'm playing the game and um it's pretty meaningless right or you know how many how many kind of like one week flings can you have with beautiful women over and over and over again realize that sex is so meaningless that all you're you don't really want is a connection and not allowing yourself to have that kind of deep intimacy more of it's like did i did i achieve did i win did i did does she love me uh does she like me is she interested and therefore or I've outsourced my worth.

40:09I've outsourced it to a woman, to a watch. And instead, what I did is say, okay, how do I accept myself and find myself meaningful? Enough where I can use that to fill my own cup internally and then allow other people to be helped by it. Because when I did that, I realized, oh, I'm at a meaningful relationship that is kind of in the light. And when I say in the light, but like a bright relationship that is like intimate, meaningful, and in touch, but also has a big vessel to achieve. And so you become this idea of matching with a higher frequency. And oh, okay, I have this book, and it's definitely going to be a bestseller.

41:01It's already selling copies that, um, opportunities are coming for a new TV show and all these things. And it's like, oh, that couldn't have happened when I was striving, holding tight. Instead, I just had to say, take a breath. You can hold more water and open hands. And so anybody listening, they're like, what the hell does that mean? and it means listen you are not defined by your material items or your success you were defined by your acceptance of yourself and when you can accept yourself you start to see what those limiting beliefs were removing them and then you spring forward right and and that's kind of the practice here and so what are some of those things that you feel are your limits that kind of maybe we can remove one right now the things that you want that you think you shouldn't and we don't have to do this now but if there's something maybe a few of them will get me into trouble but um all right guys quick pause here i've got a question for you are you in shape are you not in shape is there work to do most likely if so i have the tool for you which is going to help you out massively it's the thirst app this is something which I personally use myself when it comes to my training and my nutrition.

42:18I have all the programs in there which I use on a regular basis and for those who are just looking to lose a bit of body fat. The same thing goes for women as well. A lot of people don't realize that I used to coach for a large chunk of my life so all of my coaching experience has been put inside of this app. I want you to learn as much as possible about how to get yourself in shape. There's exclusive videos in there telling you how to do it, how to execute exercises properly, the foods which I eat and a newly added nutrition section where you can track your meals and your daily macros. It is pretty much this pocket-sized version of myself, which I'm going to carry around with you all day, every day.

42:56So if there's something which might interest you, which it definitely will do, I highly suggest you check out the link in the description, head over to the Thirst app, get it downloaded. You will not regret it. Let's crack on with the episode. I touched upon the money thing before. um i think it's just because i have i live in a place and i'm surrounded by a lot of people who have like a big online presence and to me it just feels as though everybody is taking the path of least resistance and taking shortcuts to just making as much money as possible yeah and i'm and like because even for me like i've got to a point where i've built a very strong brand you could argue my brand my brand is stronger than ever because of the things i've said no to you know i've not been involved in any controversy or any scandal because you know i i think i'm like pretty cool guy to be honest like just nice guy um yeah but of course i want to progress in my career i want to continue to you know financially do well build businesses things like that but I want to do it in an ethical way and I don't I just don't want to I don't know I just don't want to damage the reputation put it that way and I've seen a lot of people in my space who are you know they kind of come out of nowhere with a you know big YouTube channels big social media presence and at some point you end up finding out they've done something shady in their career to kind of leapfrog to the next level or to make a certain amount of money and even people i've had on the podcast like you know they seem legit and then like six months later or a year later this whole thing comes out that they've done this they've done that i'm like oh you know i thought this person was i thought they were cool like they seem legit but apparently apparently not yeah you know never meet your idols is what i you know what i've learned right there is yeah know everybody has a shadow side yeah and so as soon as you kind of make someone a guru you'll realize that they're just human pretty quickly when you meet them yeah i think for me as well it's i've got to a point where there are i've done quite a few things which i've wanted to do and now i'm in a position where it sounds cliche but like kind of like the world's my oyster and I have a lot of self-belief in myself and I think the biggest issue is kind of choosing which direction to go down because you know people would ask me all like what do you want or what are you working on now and I've kind of got to a point where I'm like do you know what I'm not actually sure what I really want at the moment or what I should put all of my time and attention into because I feel like I'm trying to manage quite a few things at the moment which maybe is holding me back from really excelling in one thing, which if I put all of my focus and attention into, that's going to be the thing that works.

46:04But I don't know what that thing is.

46:09There are a number of things you said. First, it's Dubai, New York, LA. If I was to take you out of Dubai and put you in Iowa, you would think that you were incredibly successful, incredibly wealthy at the top. Right? Yes. And so you're in a microcosm that is surrounded by, for what you do, people that are either posing as such or are at the top of their game. So that leaves us in comparison, right? And the comparison is against competitive odds. I was with a bunch of people that there were, not too long ago, I was in a group and there were six billionaires, multi-billionaires. and and then there were other people there that were equally as you know maybe not as well but as successful and in my conversations what i realized is that each person thought that they were perhaps not as meant for the group maybe not as successful in the group and it occurred to me, it occurred to me that it doesn't matter your stage of wealth or success, right?

47:40You can always be striving for more. And so we've just think about Elon Musk, you know, why does he need to be worth a trillion dollars? Is he, is he solidifying himself, you know, against who, you know, he's the richest man in the world. Great. Kudos. But now he wants to be the most powerful Well, some people would be like, oh, God, I got a trillion dollars. I'm going to buy a country and relax. He needs another 4000 satellites so that he can control the communications of the world. And so who's he competing against? It's even for him. It's not stopping. So we have to say, OK, I don't want to go and be a monk.

48:22but I have to set my own goals on what I actually want. Otherwise, there will be no end to my striving. And that means suffering. So where is the balance of, okay, I want to be able to afford these things, right? And I want to be in love and I want to have connection and I want have a body and all these things. And I want to be good with that while, you know, having purpose in my life, which means I'm, I'm actively going after something. And, um, let's start with money. So there have been many studies that show there's not much difference from$10 million to a hundred million dollars. You're not doing many different things, right?

49:10Maybe you have a bigger house, but in terms of happiness it's not and you know there's yeah this kind of uh there have been some studies that show okay if i have five million dollars in kind of liquid capital that i can use my life doesn't change that much as it goes up now if you get into the hundreds of millions billions it does because you get staff and all these things but it's like okay so how much do i actually need if i'm not comparing against everybody else okay yeah i know i want this house. I want this lifestyle. Okay, that's how much I need. Now, the second thing is, okay, who am I going to serve to go get it?

49:52Because if we think we're not in service of people, it's the only reason we're alive on this planet is interpersonal relationships. We're either trying to sell someone, be with someone, whatever it is. So in service of someone, okay, so who am I going to serve? Well, some people are like, well, I'm going to serve as coaching or I'm going to serve as media or I'm going to create a product or I'm going to make life easier. Okay. And then how do we focus solely on that thing as opposed to spreading our attention across? Now, you may be the type of person that says, I'm building a portfolio of companies and I'm going to put heads of each company in under that portfolio and I'm going to run it from here.

50:31Now, I'd say if that's you and you haven't put the heads of the companies or the divisions, then you're going to fail. So the first thing I say, who am I doing this for? Is it competition? Is it for me? Two is, what do I need to be happy? When's enough enough so I can start to work on my own self-actualization? Third, what type of business do I want? Is it a portfolio company or do I want to go in on one thing and have my vision laser-focused and not splintered? And then from there, you put in the steps. and the last thing they'll say is it's one step and the next step follows meaning sometimes we think we're at stage one here or stage 10 we want to get to 100 and we're like how the fuck do i get to 100 how do i get to 100 constantly trying to get to 100 i'm doing my meditations and i'm doing my visualizations i'm working i'm talking to people because i want to go from a million to 10 million and what i want to dial back is like okay keep that up here but really going from a million to a million five to two million to two point three maybe have a great year ago four and so you start to say oh my subconscious mind will allow myself to grow in a way that it believes and so when i go from one million to ten million my mind saying that does not compute i don't get it right instead i have to stay i am building wealth easily one step and the next step follows i i build wealth quickly and easily and every day in every way i'm building more and more and so you can have a growth like this but it's more believable for your subconscious programming so that you can do it now that was a lot in there um but those are the type of things that you really contemplate start to plan out when you do with a coach or someone else you become unstoppable yeah I think with me when I think about it I would probably say in my early 30s I could quite comfortably say like all right I've I've kind of built this dream life like everything I wanted when I was younger I'm now living it like living the dream I'm making a lot of money I'm comfortable financially where it's not like requiring me to slave away like I've built systems and businesses which have good cash flow because everything is online i have the geographical freedom to work from wherever and then i've also i'm my own boss like i have no boss so i do what i want and i can pick and choose when i want to work of course there's little periods where all right we've got to do quite a bit of work right now but at any moment i can say right this is enough i'm not enjoying it we're stopping i'm going away for a week nobody talked to me kind of thing and that's amazing and i think one of the best things which i've been able to achieve is this it's the freedom and i do value that a lot that that freedom of leisure time where i can go and do the things that i want to do i can go and travel to different places around the world and i think maybe the biggest thing that i feel is always holding me back is this realization that if I want to push things further in terms of the finances and the business and career, that that will come at the cost of that freedom in terms of the free time and being able to do what I want.

53:55Cause it's, it's a fact, like it's not just going to happen like, Oh yeah, nice. Here's an extra million for doing absolutely nothing. I can't just sit and manifest my life away and hope that it comes maybe well a little bit, but you have to work for it. and I think that's the thing where I'm like oh but I kind of like having this freedom there's the limiting belief yeah that success comes at the cost of freedom hmm right there are people who I've spoken to a lot of people who call my podcast and almost all of them they have worked their ass off and they're still working their ass off and of course they've become very successful but when i compare my life to theirs and i'm like well who would i realistically if i was going to trade lives with someone who would it be and i'm like you know what i don't there's not really many because they are they've achieved something great they're the best at what they do but they just work work work and i think that ultimately it that is because they love the work like they just do love to work or maybe something's happened to them when they were a child and like they don't think they're good enough so they've got to prove something to someone um and i've kind of had this understanding that if you really truly want to be exceptional that does come at a cost and i don't know if it's that's a cost that i'm willing to endure but then i also come across people who have they've really like they've done it perfectly where they've created something or built something and now they have kind of all the free time in the world to do the things that they really want to do i believe that people numb with work.

55:54I was one of them. I was avoiding physical therapy and instead, before I knew it, I had back-to-back meetings all day and I was exhausted and didn't have time to work out. And I did that subconsciously until I took hold of that.

56:14What I hear you saying is that there is this value that you put on freedom. And so when you're looking at abundance, you're saying wealth comes at the cost of freedom, which many people you've seen, many is, is a truth. Um, and, and that, uh, you value freedom as something that is abundant, you know, that you have. So when we think of abundance, we're like, okay, it's not just dollars, it's time opportunities, etc. Then we say, okay, I'm not the type of person who's just going to lay down on the couch every day and watch TV. Maybe I'll travel, sit on the beach, whatever it is. What if I'm doing something that fuels my mission and passion so much that I am putting a lot of hours to it, but it's not toiling.

57:08It's not hard. It's like I don't consider. And then I put in a team. And so I'm checking in with my team, my trusted lieutenants. And so they are actually doing more of the work and I'm doing strategy and experiencing more flow. Perhaps I even go out and coach other people or do, you know, it sounds like you've set up the systems of the business and you have the lifestyle, which a lot of people would want to learn from. And so that kind of fuel would fuel me teaching other people to do this and i have people behind me doing the toiling and so the truth becomes oh i can have freedom and purpose and still stay busy because no one wants to float and make even more money than i've ever expected is that potential that's also partially true it is yeah yeah and so could that potentially be your truth yeah i feel like there's this there's this uh i feel that sometimes i think like i can the things that i want or the goals that i have they can be achieved for sure.

58:28But I don't want to kind of, like, I see myself right now as, this is prime Mike. I've just turned 36. And like, everything is, I really like the way I look. I like the way in the gym, all the numbers are like the highest they've ever been. Like, everything is great. And there's part of me that's like, this is prime Mike. Let's make the most of me right now doing the things that only me at this point in time can do versus or let's get into this hyper optimized state where I hide away from the world ignore all distractions and kind of hide in this office but do everything that needs to be done sacrifice a couple years get everything that I've wanted but then at the same time I've kind of lost peak years of Mike yeah yes yes right and those are all beliefs right i'm you know i believe i'm prime gym this is the best time of my life ever i'm 50 right when i was 36 i was younger handsome stronger as yeah i i made more energy everything but like i would not try so that that is that is a truth for you now, right?

59:47And so what I would recognize is you have a lot more life than you think, right? You're taking care of your body, you're taking care of your mind, you're taking care of your health. At 50, things are going to really hit. So just say, okay, I got 14 years until my life is over at 50, which I'm being sarcastic because I feel like things are just getting started. So I got 14 years, right? And so do I need to hide away? Like people say, just grind it out, put your time in, put your work in and like lose these years. Or is there a potential for something else? Like you created systems for your business.

1:00:31Is there a potential for a system for my life that has me enjoying both without giving things away? Because what I see is there is a resistance there's a tension here between wanting more and feeling as though you're giving some freedom up or life enjoyment up and so if there's a there's the resistance and the tension between okay i have a desire to be this successful and a worry that if i do go there i lose something integrity time peace freedom and so in between there is the suffering you know like i don't suffer everything's great but yeah that's the concern the worry the anxiety of maybe i'm doing it wrong and it's true i i i have the inner voice that's kind of it's just nagging away like hey you know you should be here like you're wasting potential like that and i think that some days that i wake up and i'm not in the best mood i'm Like, why am I, everything is good.

1:01:35Like, I need to take a moment to appreciate where I am right now, where I'm living. The people I have in my life, what the hell is that little voice inside my head? That's that, yeah. Yeah. So that's the gap. And so here's where we're going to kind of start to close the gap. And we talk about this in the book. It's like identifying the issue, identifying the pain, and here's the gap. And in that gap is what I'm going to call the suffering. That little nagging voice when you wake up in a bad mood It says I should be doing more And it's like okay so now we have to close the gap Right And so we start to close the gap by saying What do I really want Right And can I have it And if something in you says no Or something in says You missed it or you should have it now And you don't That's what we go after Because the truth is Right I'm going to ask you this What if this issue was over?

1:02:34What if this issue was gone? How would you feel? Like relieved? Yeah And so when I say This issue is over You feel the relief Right? Yeah I want you to just think of it Like smoke The issue has been resolved And in your body already I can feel the tension is leaving you Yeah And so your mind comes back and says, is it? I say, yeah. It's that quickly. For that moment, it has been resolved. And so when I say, how would it feel now that this issue is over and you feel relief? We say, oh, okay. Then I guess in that moment, there's relief. The issue is over. It's been constructed by my mind. And I can release it just like that.

1:03:27and so when i tell you that we've already just by that discovery change programming within your mind you're going to feel a lot more ease when you say i value different things and wealth is coming i don't need to compare to anybody else in dubai right because i you know i'm steady in my own and i know that if i keep doing what i'm doing it will be more abundant than I can ever possibly imagine, just by cultivating relief. How do we use this train of thought when it comes to relationships? I think we've obviously spoken quite a bit about the financial stuff, maybe the career stuff, but relationships.

1:04:17Do you find that the people that you've worked with or people that are coming to you, is it that they are struggling to find the partner they want or find love or is it that they are just always in these relationships which are no good for them um yeah so by the way that was me right i was uh i was the guy that was like wall street and then building these media businesses and like, okay, and then going after girls that would be so chaotic. I'd have these drama relationships. And so relationships are a little bit different, right? Because there's this idea of love and love is attached to worthiness.

1:05:07So it's like, sometimes I don't even love a woman or a man. I just want them to love me. And I love the idea of them loving me right so there's this high yeah I feel that oh she doesn't like me I don't even know if I like her I'm not even asking Minza the question I'm not even asking myself do I like her I'm asking does she like me because I want that pretty girl that is of status to love me. Because if she does, that means I'm worthy. And when she does, that means I'm done. The attraction fades. Right? So we have to start to say, what part of me is unworthy? What part of me don't I love that I'm outsourcing to this person?

1:06:12Right? and when i figure that out and heal that part of the child it's your child it's a child and that that realize that either mom or dad or something happened and we do kind of delve into that when i start to fucking love that child right and realize that it doesn't need the drama of chase and then you know perhaps i really fall for the girl that is chaotic and it's kind of like love me one day hate me the next day bitch you know you don't make enough buy me this and then whatever it is right and then it's like oh that's the what i want i can't live without her um yeah yeah right instead of saying oh i'm gonna run as far away as possible because the next girl that comes and is like totally grounded and it's like yeah i'll support you whatever you need i got you and you're like boring um you know like okay and you start to say right you're laughing because this is every relationship that you're having at 36 when you start to say okay well what is that let's heal that because when i do i'm going to attract a bigger more powerful relationship that won't be this instead it will be this and when that happens the light will you know you what what they say in the kabbalah or um and other other religious texts is that you create a vessel that can channel more, can have more success, can hold more light, that can be seen by more.

1:07:47And what that means in our human life is that you're having more notoriety, more abundance, instead of wasting energy with the resistance. And so that is a very obscure way to say, you have to love yourself before you're ever going to accept a relationship that will be of your highest good and make you most successful. Otherwise, you'll be spending all of your precious energy in the chaos of that relationship. Do you know what's quite interesting, which I don't know, I feel as though, I think I have a bit of this, where there is something that pushes me away from a relationship because I feel as though that might close the door for something potentially amazing in the future because I think back I think about this a lot like previous relationships I've been in I've been some in some pretty I'm quite lucky I've been in some great relationships some have been challenging and you know I've had to build up a bit of resilience after maybe they've not ended too well.

1:08:57But overall, I've learned a lot from relationships. And it's amazing how you can continue to just keep meeting really amazing people. And that kind of makes me think, well, if let's decide, okay, Mike, 36, you're going to settle now, you're going to build a family, you know, the time has come, it needs to be done. what if doing that stops me from meeting this person who I could have maybe met when I'm like 38, who ends up being this amazing match? Do you know what I mean? But you can't, you can't always have this mindset because then, well, what are you going to keep doing? Just waiting for the next thing, the next thing.

1:09:47100%. You know how many people are in this world? and this idea of soulmate right and it's like am i going to find that one you know there's a lot of spiritual people there's a lot of texts it's like no you know there are multiple soulmates there are multiple ones and so you know here is the answer that's a little bit harder to swallow is are you creating real intimacy are you allowing a person to see yourself and to see you. Because until you do that, you realize that the next best thing, the next shiny object, the next girl, right? In a long-term relationship, it has stages. And that beginning stage, that first few months, or maybe if you're lucky, a year or more, is this kind of exciting, wonderful phase, which is all chemistry.

1:10:42And then it gets into this relationship that becomes a little bit more mundane and a little bit more of whatever it is. And we have to say, you know, I'm making a choice to stay in this relationship because I could go get a new shiny object because I've built intimacy, rapport, and trust with this person. And I guarantee you, you're going to be with that person and a detraction, either mental, physical or emotional is going to come up and you're going to be like i have to make a choice that my choice is i'm staying in this relationship right and yeah because there's always going to be something our mind's going to say is better just too many opportunities too many options and so less about you know is the grass always greener to I've made a choice here and I'm really comfortable with it because I've developed real intimacy.

1:11:43Yeah. I think it's, it's funny because there is all, there's so much of this advice out there about how to find, I guess from a male point of view, it's like how to find women, how to improve your chances of, you know, getting a date, all of this, all of that. And I guess it's more applicable to maybe guys in their teens in their 20s i think if you do focus on your career and you do become a success to some degree and you have like your your personality is good you've got a sense of humor your finances are on point you've got a certain element of social status it's you know it's really not that hard at that point it then becomes a question of right now you have the issue of choice.

1:12:29So how are you going to make the best of the options you have available to you? And I think that's something which I have, I've been faced with over the past couple of years. And, um, I think there's things which I've maybe shouldn't have done things, which I should have done. And it's for me being a lesson of trying to figure out, okay, so what is it that you really want? Okay. What have you realized in a relationship, which doesn't serve you, which doesn't mean a whole lot to you. And obviously I think that one of the biggest things is the beauty thing. Like a lot of guys think, well, I want my partner to be a 10 out of 10.

1:13:07Like beauty is everything in reality that I've actually come to the realization that the more beautiful they are, the more of a headache it becomes. And usually there's kind of like, they don't tend to have the best personality because they've grown up looking so amazing that they've not really needed to develop one because they've just literally had guys queuing up for them right so for me the most important thing has been sharing similar values really just enjoying spending time together with that person and having fun and joking around i think if you can spend extended periods of time with someone and it just doesn't feel like hard work or an effort then like okay this is something this is good this is maybe even rare because you don't often find many people that you just you click with and it just feels natural yeah i think that the energy is uh we all have we know what it means energy when when you kind of like are in in a in a corresponding chemistry or energy with a person that's real and i think that is far more important than looks uh when you kind of and we all have pheromones when you kind of get into that same frequency or energy as uh as the other person as opposed to just ignoring that and going for what we deem is the best looking i think you're absolutely right and that's a great way to do it and so now that once you get that that kind of relationship once you encounter that i'm willing to bet that you're going to meet someone and they are you're going to be like this is it you're just going to know.

1:15:06You're going to know. And when you do, what's going to come up next is fear that you're going to miss something better in the future. And what I say to that is that fear is protection

1:15:29for that part of you that says, oh no, this is the one, what if I lose it? and as soon as you feel that kind of like this is the one I'm really interested in this person like I feel that flow that we could go more and as soon as that fear comes up which is what if there's something better that is your work right there I can suit that and I realize it's protection for my need to not be abandoned or whatever it is or it's my protection because I need more space. If you can overcome that, that's where everything opens up. I'll tell you what, I think I may have already met that person if I'm being honest with you.

1:16:22You wouldn't have that conversation if you didn't. It's clear. Really? Yeah. Okay. Everything that you've just said is indicating that you're in a relationship where this is coming up or you think that you are right and because you're you're you as a man um which not everybody is like this by the way uh you're you're highly contemplative about what what the real truth is of things yeah you want to figure out what the truth is what is it beneath right and what i say now to that is, that is a really powerful quality in the human. You will be wondering, as a philosopher, you will probably, you know, and from many moons, many, many lives, if you believe this, you will probably one that is like discovering, kind of unveiling, you know, relating information.

1:17:20And in this moment, what I would say is that you have to let that go. and now instead of conscious thought, feel the emotion of knowing.

1:17:34Yeah, I think that makes sense. I would imagine though that desire to want to know the truth and know more though can be a little bit of a headache. It's almost if you're trying to strive for an answer that maybe... The answers aren't there. Yeah. Every superpower, which is a superpower, you probably wouldn't have this career or this job. We wouldn't have been on this call. Right? Guess what? Every superpower is your greatest weakness. Right? It's like, okay, yeah, I'm striving for more. I want to know. I'm curious. I'm self-actualizing. I'm wondering. And that's helping me grow. It's probably making more intuitive to other people.

1:18:21I can see their shit now. And also, when do I stop and just be? Right? And so how do I harness that superpower so it's also, okay, yeah, I have this great kind of part of me. And now also I can just be in the emotion of this, knowing here and now. Because when you're researching, wondering, finding, that's future, right? That's like, which we're supposed to be doing that but then when you say okay be here now you can get in touch with okay how does this feel i don't have to conceptualize anymore and you and i are very much the same but we have those same qualities and so i know this this particular case from my own experience but when you look back at your younger self let's look at it in like in decades what was what were you like in your 30s versus your 40s versus where you're at now yeah because i'm trying to figure out who am i who am i gonna turn into what's the trajectory like yeah and you don't have to figure that out what i'm saying is if you're here now doing this you set your plans and you're here and then do it don't live too far in the future or you'll miss the present.

1:19:51And so in my 30s, I was building businesses. In my 40s, I was trying to figure out how to build them bigger. And in my 50s, I was just like, I don't need any of it. Don't need any of it. And you know what? Everything came. And still, if I had none of it, how would I feel? I'd feel if the book was a failure, if I lost my relationship, if I, you know, one, I know none of these will happen because I can always build wealth. I always in me. And would I care? I would care a normal amount and I would not be devastated. You know, like I'm at a point now where it's like, okay, I'm okay. I'm okay. I know what's going to happen.

1:20:39It's going to happen. Right. Whereas in the thirties and forties, I was striving. I needed it. Must, must, must, must, must. And now I'm realizing in this kind of illusion of life that all these things are not true. They're an illusion. The needing, the wealth, the material things. And do I want that illusion? Great. Yes. I'd love to drive my Range Rover. I love this chair that I'm sitting in. There's a view that I'm looking at. My relationship, the opportunity to talk to you about my book. But is it who I am? Is it ultimately the thing that makes me happiest? No. And so I have to feel this gratitude and presence every day now.

1:21:21And I think if that's where the rub is, maybe in your case, which is I'm bypassing the here now, which is a really nice feeling, freedom, connection, right? You're feeling this connection with this person. You're feeling this freedom of your work. and you're saying, but where will I be in my 50s? I need all this stuff, which guess what? You're doing it exactly right. You're doing everything you need to be doing. I just need to have the mindset you have right now. No, what if you were just to say, it's all working out. Do you have religion? Do you have spirituality? Anything like that? I'm not religious I'll probably say I'm more spiritual Okay Yeah Me too But do you believe that there's something more that we can't see Either the quantum or the universe Yeah Or do you just believe we're a bag of bones and meat And like this brain thinking on this world No I think there's a lot more to what is going on That we can see and can understand Yeah Yes And so when you say something like I am divinely guided What would that mean to you?

1:22:44Divinely guided

1:22:48I'm guided by Something that I Don't fully understand But I have a feeling that it's It's doing what it needs to be doing Yeah And so when we say that now I'm divinely guided I'm divinely guided Yeah take out the like uh the the woo woo stuff of it right and so like or use your own word but when i say i'm divinely guided what does that remove

1:23:23i just like the stress the stress and the pressure of everything really like everything's good everything's working out the way it should be yeah so every time yeah every time this um every time this stress about this relationship or wondering or your job, you're not going to work less or do less or put in less effort, right? You're going to say, I'm divinely guided. And in that feeling of release, relief, and removal of anxiety, you can make the next right step, the next right decision. And it's as easy as that. Because you are much bigger than this job, this body, this life. There is something far greater and you've touched it.

1:24:10You've felt it. And in that knowing, in that knowing, right, that this is more in your control than you could imagine and you don't have to worry. You just have to take one step. You can't do it wrong. There will be failures. There will be challenges. There will also be successes. You're divinely guided. It's all working out. that gives you the flow and already you're feeling that release yeah i think more definitely more people need that the amount of worrying and negativity that is just all over social social media especially oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah if you're anxious right if if you're someone who's like i don't want to be anxious i know I want to be more present.

1:25:04I want all these things. But yet you're listening to the news. You're spending three hours a day on social media. You never unplug and go into nature. You don't meditate. You don't work out. You don't do any of those things. You're eating sugar and junk food. And then you're still complaining that you're worried about the future and can't have a relationship or anything else. It's like, okay, you're also living in this human body. You may be the spiritual person that had mindset, but you're living in a human body with a mind and And you need to optimize that by removing all those things that create stress and pressure and anxiety.

1:25:33And so until you do that, you're kind of fighting an unwinnable battle.

1:25:42So for you, I mean, apart from obviously you've got the books coming out, which when is the release date? September 8th. Okay, September 8th. So people can pre-order now if they want to. let's say this comes out does really well new york times bestseller and then you i think you said you were getting interest from someone wanting to do a show with you i'm doing a show on gaia gaia is a streaming work i'm doing a show on gaia we have we've you know it's like a talk show um and i have a new mobile app coming out which is um hypno meditations and you know like people can really optimize their mindset with that magical things you know it's not magic but it feels like it and um and so i have this app and then i have this book and i have that show and i'm kind of just you know when i kind of gave it up gave up the striving more opportunities came and so yeah i was doing a workshop you know and the workshop wasn't a giant workshop it wasn't 3 000 people with joe dispenza it was a workshop in new york and i had a couple hundred people there um and at the end this woman came up to me she's like i love your work um and do you want to write a book and she was that you know publisher associate publisher of simon schuster which is the most prestigious book publisher in the world and i said yes of course because i'm divinely guided i take one step i didn't have to plan that what i want you to know and everybody else to know is that you can't know all the opportunities waiting for you you just have to keep going and know that the doors open easily without you even knowing that the door is there and same with i i was going to ask like let's say you do all these things they're all a huge success what do you then do after that like what's the next step but then after what you just said one step at a time well i know what my next step is yeah exactly i know i keep opening minds right what i love to do is to say oh in an hour and a half conversation i gave this person an awareness that they're either going to feel less suffering or get more excited about an opportunity and a potential that they have.

1:28:14And if I did that, is that enough for my own professional advancement? Yeah, that's my mission, my purpose. I believe that's what I'm here for. Then that fuels me. And so, if I just keep doing that and I do it really well, is there greater opportunities that will come? Will 100 ,000 people use my app? Well, yeah. And so, by focusing out in service, I believe that I will be fulfilled. And in that fulfillment, I will have the things that make my life better. so it's a beautiful thing when you give you receive well said i've uh i've thoroughly enjoyed this conversation i feel as though i'd like to have another one off camera but yeah that may happen at some point no an hour we'll go through some of these things a little bit deeper we'll do the timeline breakthrough effect i'd love to do it with you i'd be happy to amazing um where can people find you you can find me at jim curtis coaching.com or an instagram at jim curtis one and then you know of course you can get the book amazing thank you very much jim i appreciate uh this conversation i i already feel like a sense of relief after having this so it's been it's been really good the time has flown by yeah yeah i can tell i can tell you're ready for this um and and one more session you're you'll have a major breakthrough so let's meet again amazing and it do you do a lot of one-to-one or you've you're very kind of selective with who you do one-to-one stuff with just for people who are listening right now and they're like oh i want with you i i do less one-to-one um now uh at first that's all i did and now um i have you know i i have less i i prioritize that less um but i still have some i still have some and um you know what what i just did with you for so you know uh for an hour and a half we got the podcast stuff in but what is called the neuro-linguistic programming and conversational hypnosis.

1:30:46So it's like a seed that's been planted, right? It's growing naturally and organically without you ever trying. And what you'll just notice is there is a blossom in whichever way that is. And just text me or email me when you feel that. Wow. Awesome. Okay, cool. All right, buddy. Good. I'll talk to you soon. And please text me and we'll set up another time. Okay. Amazing. Thank you. All right. You're welcome. Bye.