Has Louise accidentally joined a cult?!

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0:42hi guys welcome back to he said she said today is the ask us anything episode with myself and

0:48Louise: louise holler oh that sounded really um like a real housewives intro holler oh that's actually great question why have i not thought of this before if you were a housewife what would your jingle be at the start that is a good question i need more prep for that kind of question why oh my god she might be it'll be like she might be small but she's a feisty bitch big big personality they call me a pocket but i move like a rocket yeah it would actually be something fucking cringe like that mine would be like i might look hard but on the inside i'm gooey like a cookie you're a real he's actually a softy no because it's all about the reverse thing it's like it's all the the second line for everyone's jiggler is always about how powerful they say never judge book by its cover the same goes for me that's what i'd go with sorry you're making me laugh just because you just did like a proper bit of acting there and you like moved your shoulders in they say don't judge book by its cover the same goes for me i'm going with that okay i've I survived more plot twists than Netflix and I'm still the leading lady.

1:53Louise: Oh, that's it. That is it. That is it. Or I don't just sell my story. I sell it, spin it and slay it. No, not that one. I've traded my stilettos for wellies, but don't be fooled. I can still kick up the dirt. No, the first one's the best. Let's go for the first one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So from now on, I'm going to start every he said, she said jingle with a jingle. And it's going to go, I've survived more plot twists than Netflix and I'm still a leading lady. Yeah, that's the one. That's it. Sexy. I'm a fucking gooey cookie. let's go that was a curveball okay on that note then this is not a question anyone has asked him but I want to know the answer to it if you out of all the house Real Housewives franchises you can choose any character to play you or like kind of vice versa who is who's the most you like who do you connect with the most Carol she's the fun she's from New York right she is yeah she was quite artsy she was quite creative she's totally married to the Kennedy I like yeah I quite liked her fashion I liked her house it was like very like warehousey maybe I've got the wrong person yeah yeah no she's you always used to comment on her she used to just give like a very different energy to the rest of them she wasn't like uber bitchy and loud she would always be a little bit more like flat lines throughout the thing it's so funny because I used to always observe your observation of that that she was your favorite and like the most attractive even though she wasn't on paper she's not like what your type would be but I used to think that you would say that because you wanted me to be more like her because she was so chill yeah that's lovely man i was like oh you're a dope no wonder you're dating a young hot chef she was back then yes fucking archaic now what adam ken kenworth or something that was luann's fucking nieces who would you be you'd be fucking luann lu man no i would not oh wait what did she call herself i'm the countess with the most what is it oh no money can't buy you class i know people that have gone to her gigs sonia morgan was in london she went to the downton abbey premiere and we turned it down should have bloody gone sonia morgan's at the nts tonight sonia and ramona are unhinged but there is no housewives show quite like it like you need characters like that actually on that note i started watching real housewives of london it's actually the oh god i don't want to be too rude because I actually know the people that have made it it's just not the same because it's missing the total nut jobs like it's missing the people that wasted and also the thing about it that and I our observation from watching we love reality right it was nice that we got like this little viewing party together because it's normally something I indulge in as a selfish pursuit but I really think that it needs to be totally inaccessible so like Real Housewives of Beverly hills when they first started obsessed with the fact that kelsey grammar who's like one of the most famous actors of all time his wife was in the show he was in the show their house was in the show like there were legit like celebrities people that were living in that have like billions of dollars to their name and that have swans in their garden and like shetland ponies like racing around i'm less interested in watching a show where like i could easily just like hang out with those people you know like oh i could chop down to their little house with their bifold doors in southwest london it's too accessible it's too accessible it needs to feel like i'm watching another species like a martian on mars like that's yeah it's got to be got to be it for me so i was slightly disappointed but on that note actually one of the ladies in it called caroline and i okay in fairness i'm only the first episode in and so there's a little bit of drama i'll probably commit to like a few more episodes to see how it unfolds.

5:34Louise: But there's a lady in it called Caroline who actually really kindly, when I was really unwell, DM'd me a few times and she actually invited me to a Bible group at her house. And I have thought about it quite a lot since because I thought, firstly, that is such an incredibly kind gesture, but I'm really in this like phase of my life since going through all that hell where I like to do extremely random things with extremely random people that I don't know I'm willing to try anything and I wish that I'd taken up the offer and replied to her at some point because I think that that would have been really quite interesting but now that she's on tv I can't I can never reply to her because she'll think I'm only replying because she's now in the show and that's actually not the case I'm less inclined to do it now I missed the boat on that one I would actually disagree what does everyone think should I reach shout to her there's a very there's a very honest way that you could go that you could do that you could be like listen i'm really sorry i aired you last time i was in a bit of a tizz with things lots of things happening strangely enough i've just seen you on my freaking tv this is awesome congrats what but then she's gonna think i'm like a showbiz digger no not at all that's just you over analyzing it don't we i'll send her a message what's her name i'll be like louise is currently watching you on the TV.

6:52Louise: No, that sounds like I'm a fan, Ryan. Louise is, sorry, she didn't get back to you. No, see, now the problem is, is I can't, it's not, I'm not a fan. Louise is PA here, Ryan. She asked me to come back to you, but I... Will you come with me? To where? Her house. I thought you said it was a Bible thing. It is, her house. Oh, well, this is my second invitation to a church this week. Do you know what's funny about this? it's also it's my second invitation to a church this week because I've been invited to this cult in Battersea with Flo with a guy who's just called Pastor the Pastor also likes to be paid 500 quid for that session it's a recommendation I won't actually be paying that but apparently it is just iconic like the experience of this and again I'm here for a good time not a long time and so I'm all for experiences we're going to church on Sunday lovely I went last weekend what do you mean you no a few weekends no I was in church and I actually had this really amazing feeling sort of shoot through my body at the wedding yeah I think I was I was next to someone that was singing really loudly but she had a phenomenal voice it was like operatic that's a question and it was so beautiful if you're in a church are you singing loud or are you like miming yeah but you're like pathetic like oh I'm gonna just

8:21Louise: I was Alleluia I'm like Lulia? Oh no The person next to me Was actually going Alleluia Because it's not a Lia It's actually like a Ja Oh she was going Ja Alleluia I know She was really correcting Me But I then felt this like Wave of strength Come through me And I thought Oh my god I've just been Hit with a lightning bolt Of spirituality that no choir needed. We were doing all the work for the space. Well, interesting. I've never been in a church where there's a choir and I'm like, you guys can sing. I'm going to leave this to you. I'm just going to vibe off your energy. I think that's a bit of a cop-out.

8:58Even at school, we'd have a choir and I'd be like, you go guys, you sing that. I'd just be back here smiling like a little cat. Cat smile?

9:09Louise: You used to skive. No, didn't you like once get, what was the story about you getting busted, missing church? I was signed in to school over the weekend. So with that comes with the expectation that you go to the Sunday service at 7pm. I must have been like in my final year at school. We basically went to the pub on Sunday. Me, Jack and Todd, we got a little bit pissed because we're like 18, but skinny little 18 year olds. And we were like, holy smokes, like it's 6.45. So we started to walk back to school over the bridge back into the school grounds. and we could see the chapel was lit up and massive spotlights were booming onto like the stained glass windows.

9:48And we're like, oh no, it's actually started already. And then silly old us, we were like, what if we get in front of the spotlight and do some shagging shadows on the window? And it went boom up onto the chapel windows and everyone in there sat in the pews and were like, oh my God, is this actually happening? There's someone getting dogged on the window.

10:06Louise: Oh no, that's so disrespectful. Oh yeah, but then our discipline master mr spencer came out and oh my god he was like you all need to go back to your boarding house right now get your suits on come back down attend the service and then we're gonna talk and we were like oh my god we're literally doomed we're gonna get expelled and we were pissed obviously we like and our boarding house was like a good half a mile away from the school grounds and we ran but we were running probably wasn't that fast but we were running and laughing at the same time it was the most funny experience and your parents get called notified um no but like a long time after that incident my dad saw the discipline master in a pub actually and he was like i'm gonna lie to you for like the first five seconds we were all laughing and they were like actually this is really bad oh my god chaos yeah

11:12Hannah, I just Venmo'd you for dinner. Obsessed. I'm spending it right now on the lip gloss that's been sitting in my cart. What do you mean spending it right now? You can instantly spend your balance with the Venmo debit card or when you pay with Venmo at checkout. Stop. Say more. More exactly. The more you do with Venmo, the more you get. Like earning up to 5 % cash back with Venmo Stash. Get the Venmo debit card or checkout online. Venmo Stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. max$100 per month. See terms at venmo.me slash stashterms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A.

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12:29Louise: If your life were a rom-com, who would play you both? This has got to be quick fire because because I feel like we've kind of been here before. Cam from Summer... You turned pretty. No, you're the guy from Married... Father of the Bride or something? What, the old geezer? Or Fronk? Oh my God, you're not Fronk. You're talking about Steve Martin? Yeah. He's like so nice and cute and handsome with his grey hair. He's a gangly old man. How am I, Steve Martin? He's also very funny. Is that not a good thing? It's an unexpected thing. that would actually be great because if we have a daughter you can be that father role you could have gone with someone like Liam Neeson or something someone cool that's so rogue Liam Neeson no but the reason that he works is because he looks just like a regular dad and yet they put him into these roles where he's so badass yeah but you're not badass so why would I choose him you're you're father of the bride mate have you seen have you seen the film Taken have you seen the film Taken probably yeah you obviously haven't because if you had then you'd be like on the note of rom-coms yeah no taken's the one where they hide she hides under the bed it's quite scary i don't think i got beyond that scene it was too much for my little he's a dad head and heart that takes down a whole trafficking like romanian whatever they are gets his daughter back basically fights his way through paris and does it in just the most epic way this is why we have no relationship because ryan in the evenings is watching taken and I'm watching Parent Trap, which is actually the show.

14:01Louise: Vine had never seen Parent Trap before. He'd never seen it before. We watched it this weekend and - Yeah, it all makes sense. It makes sense. I know why, I now know, especially for you, why you like it. You're basically watching your kind of like snippets of what your childhood might have looked like. So Lindsay Lohan actually would play me in a rom-com. Yeah, you're like this posh little twat who lives in a big house in London. What, Annie? Yes. And you've got like this perfect lifestyle with like the large staircase and oh my god and you're like oh this is like this is normal life this is how i want it to be for me when i'm always wanting to go to camp like that in america like a big camp well you missed the beginning of it you missed the bit where they go to the summer camp and they like pierce each other's ears with an apple and a needle it's so iconic that is a good film and dennis quaid is is he the main guy yeah he's pretty fucking hot yeah but Okay, so why don't you go, can I be Dennis Quaid then?

14:55Louise: You actually are Dennis Quaid. Yes. Okay, and does that mean, because it's not Emma Thompson, it's Richardson. And actually, sadly, the mum, I think, is the lady that died in the ski accident. What, that actress? Natasha Richardson. That actress has died? Yeah, which is, I actually can't dwell on that for too long because it's heartbreaking. Oh my God, that's devastating. But she's so stunning. She's got the Princess Diana haircut that everyone did at that time. your mum had that haircut in the 90s didn't she my mum did as well she had the short blonde hair my mum didn't go blonde but she went the same do yeah we should do like a side but how would you feel actually if i did that haircut do you think i could pull it off you've thrown through a few curveballs at me you've gone like red hair you've gone bob do you think i could pull off the pixie cut like princess die i'm gonna go with no on that i'd be it would be a bit like what your hair looks like at the moment i don't know whether you'd find me that very particularly attractive i'm not very so i'm dennis quaid you're who natasha richards no i'm i'm nancy lohan so you're my dad so that's that storyline okay oh it's so good i could talk about that all day i we then both cried and then had like a little dance you know what's funny about the ultimate remedy for our horrendous start to the day there's been there's been a reference or a quote or like a nod to Dennis Quaid today on my chat with Max Wilcox.

16:16Louise: Why? Because we were talking about a film and I think it was probably like the day after tomorrow or something like that. Cause he's in that movie as well. And I was trying to describe the actor to Max and he was like, Oh, Dennis Quaid. And I was like, yeah, him. And Max was like, yeah, he can swing an ax as if to say like, he is fucking, he's a boy. And I did a story of myself in the gym this morning and Max replied. He's like, he can swing an ax. you are such see this is why men never grow up you're just a little cutesy that's so i can swing an axe though can you yeah i'm gonna save one of these really good questions for the main episode so tune in on wednesday um let's we've got time for maybe one more okay if your partner had a warning label what would it say yours would say after dinner know don't even bother oh my god like what do you mean bother with what because it's a it's a thing it's a thing with you and actually all of your family it's like if you go for dinner in a restaurant you're amazing value up until the point you finish your food and then you're like i'm so done get me out like straight to bed so that your warning label is like rest and digest after dinner i'm out i thought you were talking about something sexual they're like i'm never going to be putting out after having a big fat meal food comes first always it's food and then sex words side by side with the you know that little arrow that means greater than and the greater than simple is directed towards the food okay okay i think yours would just be something simple go on no actually just something simple would be on your label my label would be something simple right okay no it would be he's nicer than he looks that's not a warning okay i'll take it i thought you'd be like don't let him skip two meals or something yeah probably that we're all about the food okay final one what is an irrational fear that you had as a child that you find funny now there's a rational like not really doesn't really there's no reason for that yeah that is the definition of no i'm just checking because i really have any fears except for snakes so i was thinking that yours would be like you used to be scared of sitting on the loo where the snake is coming out of the pan correct oh yes but that's because i saw a thing on some like viral australian i don't know clip on social media where someone was sat on the can and a python didn't let go of his bits and they had to what his balls or schnitzel I don't know use your imagination but they had to like cut the not the not the schnitzel they had to like they had to like dig the foundations to get the sewage pipes and they had to like chop the pipe and then they ended up pulling out this fucking massive snake and I'm just like couldn't they just cut his snake's head off oh maybe they did do that in the end but can you can you imagine sat on the sat on the throne and then a fucking snake comes up and grabs hold of you and doesn't let go.

19:24Oh my God.

19:25Louise: What would you do? Oh my God. Oh my God. You'd probably try to like wring its neck or something and we might not get very far. Snakes probably have cable necks like me. Oh my God. That's a fear. That is a fear. I used to be scared of loads of stuff. Tomatoes. I think that we've probably chatted enough and now I'm pretty freaked. Learn something new every time on this one. We do actually. So he said, she said, learning about the opposite sex. I just thought something. In my senior boarding house in my last year, you have your own room with a bed and a sink and mirror and stuff. I reckon for like a year straight, I used to just pee in that sink.

20:06Is that weird? Rather than go into the loose?

20:09Louise: It needs must, but yeah, that's a bit rank. That's pretty rank. Yeah, but obviously I'd wash it away with hot water. I used to make my pot noodles in my sink. There's no boiling water in a sink. I know, that's the problem. We were mild pot noodles. I actually think that's worse. I had social anxiety, so I didn't want to go to the communal kitchen. It's very odd what humans get up to in a private room on their own, isn't it? I wasn't alone on that. I think everyone was peeling their sinks in their room. I did actually, sorry, sorry. I love that I'm giving you a judgmental eye. Me and my friends used to wee in a bin for no good reason at school in our dormitories.

20:48Louise: We also used to wee under people's mattresses. What? It was very odd behaviour. We used to do naked handstands. Listen to this. We used to do naked handstands against the wardrobe. And the rule was you got to keep one item of clothing on. So either people that hadn't gone through puberty who didn't have boobs, they would keep their pants on and be flat chested. But then some people weirdly would decide to keep their bra on and then would have their lower nether regions revealed. You'd have your nether regions out, wouldn't you? No, I would definitely just be topless. So low key. Like what? Little bee stings?

21:25Louise: No big deal. And then what would you do? And then we'd have to handstand. So it'd be like, oh, okay. Handstand, but choose which item of clothing you're keeping on. Boarding school is wild. We should do a whole episode that is just dedicated to weird boarding school quirks. In fact, we're going to round up this episode now. But if you have any questions, because Holly, who I work with, she's obsessed with boarding school. She loves watching boarding school vlogs. She just can't get her head around the whole thing. I think she thinks it's like Centrillion's. so we could give like a male and female perspective on what it's like to be away from home when you're young okay we'll do a deep dive thank you guys so much for listening do you say thank you you just went thank you did i yeah all right thank you if you enjoyed this episode please do share it with a friend give us a little rating it means a lot to us to actually just read your feedback is really fun it makes us feel very connected to you guys and it's one of the things that kind of compels us to keep doing this is the connectivity yeah we we love it we enjoy chatting to you guys and um i hope you enjoy it too give us a follow over on he said she said all our different platforms you can find us everywhere tiktok instagram youtube apple pods and spotify too thanks guys appreciate it

23:15I'll see you next time. Venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply. Max$100 per month. See terms at venmo.me slash stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all merchants. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A.