Our Season Finale!

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0:36Hey guys, welcome back to He Said, She Said. I'm Louise. And I'm Ryan. And we have a bit of news for you all. So before we get into today's episode, we wanted to share a little update with everybody. So we're actually going to be pressing pause on the podcast for a little while as we step into what feels maybe like a new chapter in our life. Where Our son starts school in September. He does. Which feels like a really big shift. I think for any parent who has a child that started a new school, they'll probably understand the magnitude of the summer holiday before you start school. Yeah. Just trying to recalibrate, like bed down.

1:16Iron the kinks. Iron the kinks. And just prepare, I think, for that big transition in a way that feels fair to him and also fair to us. I mean, most parents, working parents, despite probably only having 28 days of paid holiday off a year, somehow managed to find the time for this phenomenally long summer holiday that their children get. I mean, if kids are at an independent school, they get, it's 20 weeks off in a year. It's only 52 weeks in a year. That's, you know, close to 50 % of the holidays. um so it's it's a long time and i think for a long time we've really been focusing heavily on work and i think now it's time to kind of uh take some time for ourselves and also you know we've spoken very honestly about um our fertility journey and the run-up to that on here each week uh and hope you know we're really kind of in a in an exciting spot with it now yeah moving quite quickly which is quite poetic in a way because i feel like we started today's episode 25 okay i feel like we like you just said each week we've taken people on the journey in some in some capacity and now rather timingly it's come to like do you know i mean without giving too much away yeah yeah we're really hoping for things to move really quickly and we're hoping for an mbo transfer this month which we mentioned there we go i was like trying to hold back a little bit but who knows what will happen but i think it's such like an intimate thing yeah and i know a lot of people you know even if they were doing the embryo transfer and putting it back into them they would grant themselves like a bit of a grace period just to sit with that and then you know people tend to not really share the news anyway for three months because yeah that 12 week period at the beginning can be a bit uncertain with an increase in miscarriage risk and things like that So it feels appropriate for us just to have a bit of personal space.

3:22I think it's a really good move. We share so much publicly. Yeah. Not just on a Thursday here as well. No, but you think about all the storytelling that we're doing online anyway, on your channel and mine, and Letters to Leo and Substack. It's a constant, not that I'm complaining, but it's quite a difficult thing to do sometimes, especially when it's things that are so real and raw and kind of, you know what I mean? Yeah, it is. It's really, it's a very, very peculiar job. I was speaking to someone about this yesterday. It feels like you've always got a third person in your relationship, but also in your life.

4:03It's sort of, you're almost living this like dual life. It's the life that you've got to live in the 12 hours in the day or 18 hours before you go to sleep, but you actually require double that amount of time to kind of relive it and reshare it with everybody. So actually you're kind of living around the clock. Yeah. So, so we're going to be taking some time to, to focus on, on us and prioritize us, but we've just wanted to say how much we've loved building this community and inviting you guys into our conversations over the last 25 weeks. It's gone so fast. And yeah, for the final time this season, let's get into the episode oh my gosh right well what are we starting with what what what's happened to you this week um well i was at the f1 with every influencer in the world apparently on sunday at silverstone yes you were very excited about that you looked very handsome thanks how was it were you in the pit lane uh i was in the pit lane for no i was in the garage i stepped out onto the pit lane i didn't do the pit lane walk though do you know the word garage i find funny like is it garage or garage like i've never known what the way it's just an awkward word what would you like me to say oh i don't mind because there's a whole genre of music and it's not garage is it is it garage it's not garage wait it is garage can we play some garage um so you were there They're swanning around with a lot of presumably very pretty influencers.

5:35Yeah. How pretty were they? Very. How many were there? Lots. Were you swimming in them? Yeah. Were they checking you out? Probably not, no. Shame. I was there with Audi. I had a great time. And it was like, I'm an F1 fan, a relatively new one, but I am an F1 fan. I was very much like the new age after Drive to Survive. Don't forget, there's like six series of that now. Yeah. So you got into it maybe six years ago. My gosh, yeah. Jeez, yeah. How's that happened? But a lot of people I don't think were brought up on F1. I remember I had one friend when I was younger who'd go to the house and have like brother and older brother, much older family were like watching it and it was so alien to me.

6:16Well, this is the thing I'm trying to get to, right? I was there as a genuine fan of the sport. Not a complete nerd. I don't know every detail about it, but I was excited to be there. And I just felt like, I don't know if it's always been this way, but on sunday race day at silverstone i just felt like it was it became so much less about the race i felt like no one was watching the fucking race everyone was just like in their corners doing pretty little photos against branding and i was i i tried not to focus on that too much because i was like i'm not here to look at that or go up at pretty people yeah and but it was somewhat distracting because truthfully like these people couldn't give two shits about the brand that they were with or the race that they were watching they couldn't tell you any positioning on the grid they can't tell you what's happening and it was just a bit i don't know i've always questioned is it just a case of like profile and numbers are you just trying to get exposure through the platforms which ultimately probably yes there are some people out there who would give their left nut to be in this hospitality box at least show some interest i think there has been some some backlash now from the public.

7:22Has there? Well, I think, I don't know necessarily whether it's around F1 or whether it's Wimbledon. I know that the tickets are so hard to come by. People that are genuinely really invested in the sport aren't able to go. And it probably is frustrating for them seeing lots of pictures of everybody that they follow online going for free.

7:50um yeah I don't know I actually had because I wanted to go to the F1 I think I joked about it last week and then like couldn't get a ticket and I was invited a few days before and I was speaking to my agency about this whole business of going to events and how it's you know important not to go to the opening of an envelope but yeah you know it's good to be seen that certain things are going to the right ones but actually over this last week I have given it a lot of thought I think it only makes sense to spend your time going to things that you are genuinely interested in. And are you genuinely interested in F1?

8:23I love the shows, but I actually don't think I'd want to be, I'm like someone that gets overstimulated really easily. So that noise would probably drive me a bit mental. I think like my position on sport has always been I'd rather be playing it than watching it. If I could play the sport, then I'd be interested in it. I definitely can't race a car. So do you know what I mean? She can't race a car. I can't race a car. Dodgems, maybe. I am going to Wimbledon tomorrow. But I am carrying on my mother's legacy and interest in tennis. Didn't your grandma play at Wimbledon? My grandma's played at Wimbledon.

8:56Nice. And I do play a little bit. She was the ladies captain. Plus I'm like a Southwest London girl. But that's what I mean. So it's kind of in my bones. Like a lot of my friends live very close. Here's the thing, I think. Actually, this is exactly what I was speaking to Holly and Louisa about yesterday. girls that I work with. Because a lot of people, like Holly's always wanted to go. She's like desperate to go. She's probably sits more in that crowd of people that look on and think, oh gosh, all these glamorous influencers are going. That looks really fun. It's very aspirational. I want to be there.

9:26I want to get dressed up and I want to do the whole fucking thing. Strawberries and cream, glasses of champagne. My mom wants to go to Wimbledon with her friends. She wants to go because it's a day out with her friends and to have a proper catch up and to watch something that she plays with the friends that she plays it with. They have a lot in common. They have a lot to talk about. Like it's a proper day out. A lot of the people that are going with brands are going on their own. So it's not really the same thing at all. Like it's not, you're not going as an activity. You're going as a work event.

9:58So it's sort of, it's a totally different day out. I'd rather be there with like Olivia and Celia and all my friends that I never talk about and no one knows about. and like be silly you know like talking about our kids and like when we last got drunk together and like what silly stuff you know just like rolling around on the grass not like tottering around and like little midi court shoe yeah it's funny isn't it it's funny what it's become now yeah i suppose the difficulty is whether it's f1 wimbledon rugby football well actually the fifa world cup is a good example the tickets are astronomically expensive and probably out of reach for most people but the the sort of general people the general public the real fans of these sporting things they don't they can't get there there just aren't enough tickets there's just not enough tickets it's impossible well i'll take it back to my mom again but she's not been able to get a ticket through the ballot for the last four or five years really that long yeah well she's been trying for four years you know see that that is a shame and there used to be people that lived really locally that would get some kind that used to be able to get tickets that also can't i don't know who is getting tickets but maybe the sports have just become so much more popular well well they have because of the likes of drive to survive and full swings the golf one and got all the american football ones yeah very much your bag very much my bag you got the nadal shows yeah so sports but i feel like we're we've been sort of taken behind the scenes a little bit with these sporting teams and individuals and i find that fascinating but yeah the whole like pageantry of of wimbledon and such like it is on the on the on the positive like more kind of uh complimentary side of this i do get this sort of influencer impact though like when you see these pretty but it goes both ways guys and girls you've got a whole load of like fashion to contend with you've got like i don't know style styles of content and storytelling like it does it does work but i just felt like it was overly done perhaps i guess the not cool side of it is when you're trying to watch something and this is where it gets embarrassing is when i went to this thing a couple of weeks before and there were there were some people that were standing up and taking photos a lot whilst they were playing like obstructing the view and that's shameless but it's so and it used to be really infrequent that you would see this and like we've been in this game for a long time but i've we've always been quite shy about like taking photos probably sometimes someone that sat behind us or in front of us might offer to take a photo of both of us and we're like jackpot like hey cute but the whole standing up thing it takes a lot of courage And the camera's like, right.

12:47And I'm like, this is not a great angle for me, but let's do it. You're literally like, oh my God, but get the shot. You're like, get the shot because we need to show everybody that we're here. But shuffling up to the front edge bit, you know, right down the sort of channel of seats is very brave. That's not good. But then, you know, they're the people that are like, like, don't ask, don't get. And they get these fantastic photos. But when it's everywhere, it does become distracting acting from the sport and obviously the older generation will absolutely hate it don't blame them you have to be careful now because you're going to Wimbledon tomorrow and I'm gonna take some pictures I'll get some really good ones as well I think at this point we should openly say we're in this category but we're trying to do it in like an authentic way we are fans we are fans and we will be there um and and I guess to to look back a little bit it's not really a new phenomenon because socialites have existed for a really really really really really really really long time probably since like tatler first printed the bystander columns yeah sure and um so there've been these sort of people who whose like life's work is to go to all of these events and kind of look great i once was in tatler bystander and it was when we did our school leavers ball and i literally like furiously flew through the pictures to try and find me and my dress.

14:15I used to read it every week and be like, I know that person. I know that person. Did you see, to take it back to the F1 and the socialites and everything and profile. Did you see Kim Kardashian on the, at the F1 just completely ignore Martin Brindell? Is this, this, this weekend, not the. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. No. So, you know, Martin Brindell, the guy like slightly chaotic. The guy that you love. Mr. Bean, who like goes around the pit lane. He's like trying to get into view all the big stars. Yeah. He sees Kim Kardashian, obviously probably the biggest name on the whole thing. She's got two umbrellas, like security guys next to her.

14:47He leans in in his clumsy way to try and ask her a question. She ignores him like three times. And Martin Brundell's like giving commentary around it. Being like, oh, she's obviously not a fan of the sport. Let's try a different angle. She's trying to get in there. She just completely chins him. And I'm like, this is not good for the sport though. Like you're here with Lewis Hamilton. This is not about you, Kim, right now. Just play the game. just be but maybe that maybe she was playing the game maybe it was all prepped so that it would make him look funnier oh oh I don't believe anything anymore it's all so contrived he somehow styles it out in his goofy way but I actually felt bad for him I was like oh he's just trying to like integrate her into the fun oh he's just integrating oh mate it's fucking did you see her in person no I didn't no no no that's a shame it is a shame who did I who was the biggest person Jensen Button that was probably the biggest but i know that there were more famous people yeah sam thompson's day is pretty big dude he did a fucking hot lap did he drive no he didn't drive he was driven by kim you're liking him you won't know who that is oh ex-driver anyway anyway whilst i was there looking at kim kardashian you were at toy story how was that yeah it was gorge first ever cinema experience It was.

16:00Obviously, we spoke about it a bit last week, and the messaging was, yeah, was really on point. Did Leo pick up on them? I met the lily pad. Oh, you met the lily pad? Yeah. Was it Lily? Yeah, it was Lily. Actually, a petrifying character at the beginning. Honestly, I wanted to fucking throw my popcorn at the screen. She actually, I don't want to give away anything, but the ending is satisfying. Main character, actually a girl, which I think is pretty awesome. Yeah, Jessie the cowboy, cowgirl. And yeah, I knew I actually, a lady sat in front of me with a whole row of kids. I think it was probably her birthday.

16:38She turned around right at the beginning and was like, oh my God, Louise, we met when I apparently did a talk at JP Morgan. So I - Yes, you did, yes. Yes, I was like, hello. Hello. Hello, I'm seeing a different side of my personality. I'm here with my four-year-old son for the first cinema experience. You had to adjust which version you gave her. I know, wearing the different hat again. Very tricky. And then I thought, Leo, you better buck up your behaviour because we've got some JV. Can I ask some questions? Did Leo watch the whole movie? We didn't have to leave, so that was really good. Did he sit still or was he like rolling under the seats in front?

17:14Sofa's really, really helpful. Actually looks exactly like this. Don't get a torch out on the situation because you don't want to know how dirty the synonyms are. Really? It's just so dark. And then when you're like looking around. Did you get boxes of popcorn and sweets, ice cream? Well, we got there ridiculously early. So I had an hour to kill. And then I was like, and then there's 40 minutes of adverts. And then I was like, God, Leah's already going to be really bored. Why did you get there an hour before? Well, I panicked because I was on my own. Yeah, we were excited. That is actually the truth, isn't it?

17:53Let's go there because you sent me a flurry of messages. What did I send you? You were like, this is quite difficult on my own, weren't you? Oh, on the day. No, I got, because I got a little bit triggered because we did a lot of activities, which was good. You were like, it's 9am and I'm out of ideas. It was 9am. Listen, guys, okay. He's being honest. It was 9am. We've been up since five. We'd already done four activities. And I was like, I looked at the clock and went, it's nine o 'clock. I hadn't even got to Silverstone yet. And you were like, I'm out of ideas. We'd already done like gemstone crafting.

18:25We'd done scissor practicing. we'd already been for a walk gardening and we'd been to the cafe park and the swings and walked the dogs and then yeah it's like well we're gonna go to the soft play and then we've got many many hours until we go to the cinema so then you then you're like fuck it let's just go to the cinema now actually yeah it's basically what happened oh my god oh no and then i was like looking at the window the cinema i was like should we go to the dog shop opposite i can't tell you how much i fit into that day we went shopping as well we did a lot of things because the thing about having a child right is you can't sit still you can't just sit like this at home and like just twiddle your thumbs pick your nose like you've got to be on it i was slightly alarmed when you texted me at 9am yeah i mean i think we cooked like four meals i'm not even joking either we did we cooked so much so many cakes and breads.

19:23It's just amazing how much you can do. We went to Indian Summer, my favourite shop on the film road. We bought four fake slugs and one of those like weird things that I used to call a wet willy, but you can't call a wet willy. The following morning when I got back from Silverstone, a little bit hungover and just very hot in that spare. Yeah, you were moody. Mate, he woke me up with one of those giant orange slugs on my head. Yeah, that's good. He tried to pull that trick on me, but I already had an eye. open he draped it across my face yeah i thought it was real for a second he loved it i hate we're in that category now well i don't have my phone on me but the messages were basically like ryan let me do this from memory because it's bad you like ryan i have to say i am missing you because it is fucking hard um doing this by myself and i'm like i replied to you i was like mate just go for like go for the go for the soft play or swim and then go to the movies and then you were like, I've done everything I can think of.

20:22Can I just say, last time I went for a solo swim with Leo, I then ended up in hospital the following day. So now I can't even do that. There were a lot of pictures sent like this. This is the vibe that I sent to Ryan, which is basically just me like, just dead and exhausted. What you do though, is you do try and like, you try and cram stuff in. I said, have fun today. Miss you already. Quite isolating being a solo parent without plans with friends. Here's the thing. So the recommendation is... What time was that sent? 9.11. No, no, no. And then I also said... I told you. Afterwards, I said... 9.11.

21:00I said, very grateful to have you normally. And he went, thanks, my love. I said, happy about our day. But already done breakfast, Long Park Ward, tidy up and scissors skills. And it's only 9.12. There you go. Which is actually quite shocking. Got 10 more hours to go. She started the countdown at 9am. I literally was like, shit, he's not going to get even remotely close to bed until 6pm. Mate, I was on my way to Silverstone. I was like, oh, this is going to be a long day. The key, right, is to always just make a plan to see people. Like, you've got to see adults with kids and hang out together.

21:36It's actually essential. Like, even sitting in the soft play, just on my own, whilst Leo's playing, I'm then obviously, I'm actually really hands-on. So it's making, this is all making it sound like I never, never hang out with Leo solo. And I do. But when you're, you know, I'm like crawling around the soft play, like I'm his mate. And then I'm like sitting there like, okay, what am I doing next? But everyone else is like, okay, I'm here for like 40 minutes as a quick timestamp before like meeting those people or doing like this big lunch or whatever. Not like, okay, now next activity on our own in and out of that car.

22:13Yeah, it was good. If you're panicking about having Leo for a full sundae what are you going to do when there's another baby in the mix I'm just going to have to really just lean into the solitude no no reassure me that you can handle this shit you need to reassure me to reassure you I'll tell you it wasn't very reassuring on Sunday I'm going to because we're going to be in a foreign country as well I'm going to have to get a routine. So it'll be like morning walk down to the lake, make a breakfast, spend an hour doing that. Lake? What lake? Oh, I'm just hoping there's a lake to basically. And then there'll be like five laps of the lake.

22:59Honestly, there's a lot of walking involved. Walking, walking, walking, make some food, maybe take it in turn so we can both do a workout. We'll be like the fittest. I'm not talking, I'm not talking about just those few weeks in Georgia. I'm talking about like, every Sunday thereafter. Yeah, yeah. Okay. What does on my end? Not just Sunday either. That's why parents groups are so important. So I will be going back to monkey music. I will be going to every single activity class there is, going to the local church again every Monday for like the little play session. So you've got to just plan the whole week around those little play sessions.

23:34Listen, Rye, how do you do it? You're the master of this solo parenting gig. No, I'm definitely not the master, but I think our difference is that You take the opportunity and you're like, fuck, I'm going to get 12 out of 10 on the fun scale. He's going to have the best day ever. Whereas I'm just like, we're just going to go for a run and you're going to be on your bike. And we're going to go along this side of the river and we're going to stop at that ice cream shop. We're going to cross the bridge. Then we're going to stop at this cafe for a juice. And we just turn it into a little mini adventure like that.

24:04And before you know, we've been exercising for like two hours. That's like a good chunk done. Yeah, yeah. But I'm not very good at running. No, but you could, that's true. You could do something, bicycle? Cycling, yeah, drive to Richmond Park and cycle. The issue with that though is like suddenly feeling quite stranded somewhere and being like, oh God, I've got to carry the bike back on my own for like an hour. Okay, so what I need to do is fit the bike tow bar thing so you can roll your bikes on the back. And then you can pick up and go and adventure. Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Also, when you spend time with him, solo time with him, you're often with like other dads and their kids.

24:42Why do you think? Because you now know why. It's so important. Yeah. Cause they can buddy up and we can be like, fuck. Yeah. Basically I'm, I'm going to have, I'm going to have to go. Yeah. And they just then play. Yeah. Cause having a conversation with your child is weird. Like just you and them. It's beautiful. It's so amazing when they like ask you questions and you're like, Oh my God, you're like a little person, but it's not, you know, it's, it's sort of, it's slightly strange. But you being like the pleaser that you are by nature, you funnel that in like a laser beam fashion into Leo. And you're like, it's like so focused and like intense fun.

25:21He's like, by 9am, it's no wonder you're both like, fuck, where's that? So it's like doing a podcast for like 12 hours. Because yeah, it's like, you're not just like chilling in between. It's just like, okay, this is, we're on now. Like we're going. So yeah, that's my fault and my problem. and I need to be a bit more relaxed. I actually think you guys should go cycling together more. Yeah, I think we should. I'll rig that up for you so you can do that. Thanks, babes. Despite the fact that you were exhausted by 9am, was it nice to have that one-on-one? Yeah. It was actually, and even thinking about it now, I'm like, it was the best day ever.

25:56It's one of the things that everyone as a parent will relate to is that when you're in it, you're like just constantly panicked. You're like, God, this is so tiring. And then the moment that their head touches the pillow, like even if you're lying next to them you're like oh this is so frustrating they're still awake they literally the moment their eyes close and don't wake up again for obviously until the next morning but the moment that they're shut and you know they're asleep you're suddenly like oh god i miss you you're so lovely i just want to do it all over again it's the strangest phenomenon um so now i i think that that was one of the best days i've had in ages and actually i'm looking forward to it because when he starts school i don't know if that's true that last when i got back you were fucking fuming at me i wasn't you took that the wrong way right i basically no right do you want to unpick what happened no no no i don't know the house was an absolute dump i have no idea why because there's only two of us and i'm responsible for 50 percent of the mess and i was like ryan cannot come back to this date or he's gonna think that something really unhinged happened.

26:58So I wanted to go to sleep at 6pm. Yeah, literally like when Leo passed out. And then I thought, Oh God, either I go to sleep now and I'm just done. Or I just like turbo clean the house. So at least you come back to something good. So I just turboed. I just put on a podcast and went and blitzed it all. Felt really good. Like filled up my cup again. Like, yeah. And then, and then you came in and you were annoyed that I was like, had a bit of energy. and no and you said to me you said to me you this quote to quote ryan you said um you basically said if you're gonna carry on with all of this if this like high octane energy i'm going to sleep in the other room before before we'd even seen each other like i literally just came upstairs was listening to a podcast had done some laundry and i came upstairs and i was like hey like pretending everything was good and you went if you're gonna carry on with this high octane energy i'm sleeping in a different room.

27:53And I went, in my mind, I went, if you had any idea what my day has been like, you would not have the cheek to be speaking to me like that. Anyway, we didn't talk and you slept in the spare room. I'm going to start with the positive. And you thought I would beg for you to come in. Admit it. You thought I'd go, you thought I'd go, oh, Rhino, come on, let's talk. I want to hear about the F1. Come back into bed. No, I didn't. I let you. I was in a whole world of pain. By the way, this is 10.30 at night. I got back at 10.30. Also, he left a window open in the car, which you've now realised someone basically broke into.

28:26And it's like, he's gone through all of the compartments. Yeah. Some hero texts me on Instagram being like, I live on the street behind you. Your car's wide open. I was like, oh God, great. Well, when I get back, I'll fix that. Robbers have been in it. Yes. They took our little pouch of coins. And also the funny part is, they'd obviously like ripped a bag of Star Mix Harrybo. Yeah, everywhere. Flung it everywhere. So when I got in the car the next day, I was like, sweet. And me and Leo just started hoovering them up. Didn't put two and two together until today. But then I worried that maybe the rubber had like done something creepy with the speech.

28:58Like roofied them. Yeah. Well, me and Leo are still breathing. That's good. But let me just say this. I would imagine if we're lucky enough to have a second child at some point. I feel like there's going to be more days like that, like where it's going to be you and baby or you and Leo, me and baby. And what do you know what I mean? Can I just say something? What? You just can't say you and baby. I know that that is the right thing to say. and like all midwives and medical professionals say like you and baby. Me and baby. No, no, I mean like the, can we just say like our baby? Oh, what did I say?

29:30You and baby? Yeah, because that's what, again, speaking to someone about this on a call this week, it's like when people, when you don't use like the pronoun or like, it's just like me and baby. What, you and baby? Does it sound like? Yeah, but it just sounds, does it not sound weird? Maybe, yeah. I just thought I was, I just thought I was flowing. Like how are you and baby? Is it not like the baby? I don't think that was the point of my story. but yeah sure yeah you can't just say like when you and baby are hanging out as if it doesn't have a okay so all right well everyone at this point listens to this is like what the fuck is she talking about but i'll do a take i think most people would be like it's weird when midwives say how how is baby how is baby it's like they literally say how is baby and you're like the baby okay well all right here we go in the event that we have another baby yes there are going to be days where you might be with our second child and i will be with our first child yeah well we'll be those parents that have to split up our time yes i'm just sort of forewarning that that is going to happen no i i'm so excited i'll be down at the slot machines of leo and you'll be doing something with second baby

30:43no that's wrong like our our second child yeah with our second child um yeah no i'm i'm preparing for that i know i don't i don't think i don't know because i can already imagine these texts coming through from you being like i'll be down the road shopping with him and you'll be with second i need it again and you'll panic you'll be like it'll just be easier if we do this together I love doing things together. No, you need more independence. I'm fine to be independent. I'm very independent normally, but I do like doing things as a family. No, I think actually what will be really nice is to spend more quality time with Leo one-on-one before we have our second baby.

31:25So, yeah, because then things will be changed forever as of hopefully next spring. So it's kind of a big deal. and we're lucky that we've had five years, we've had five years of him just to hang out with us and build our own little relationships. And actually, sorry to say this, but at his new school, he'll finish at 12, 12 o 'clock on a Friday. And so I'm really looking forward to having those Fridays just for us. Well, yeah, I think that's a great idea.

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33:25So if we look back on season one, 25 episodes, I know it's the intention of the show is to be super vulnerable and kind of raw and exposed. But I feel like we've, or let me speak from my perspective, at least we've had some really difficult conversations this season. And when I say difficult, I mean really emotional. I had to dig deep to kind of get through the episode because it's touching something really raw inside. And probably sometimes we felt that there was a bit of a misalignment on where we were landing. so i think it's been i think i think it's been a really great season i think we've been through this roller coaster of uh emotions how did you feel when you first started the podcast how truthful do you want me to be on this yeah be truthful i felt very excited i felt like we were in a new home with a new vision and a new kind of outfit i was like this is gonna be really fun and there was probably parts of me that didn't step into the new role as much as it should have done because i probably wasn't expecting to reveal or to go the go to those places i feel like i've warmed up throughout the season and i've probably arrived at um places of acceptance and kind of like i've rationalized things and i've i feel like i've really understood where we're going as a couple and what we want to do with family expansion do you know what i mean i feel like But there's, I think it's really intimidating actually doing a podcast, even if you, you know, love and adore the people you work with and you really trust everybody.

34:58Like it's still, there's something about it that takes a while to get into and to find your flow with. Yeah. Because, you know, it's, you're sat in a chair with a big light on you and a camera on you. And that doesn't always come naturally. I think people think it's really easy. like even yesterday i was doing sky news and the two people i was doing it with one was the presenter who's been literally presenting in front of the camera for years it's like oh louise you'll you know you'll be more confident than theo and i are doing this and i literally looked at him it's like are you mad um which i found reassuring to know that even someone that's worked in this industry for 20 30 years still finds it nerve-wracking i think everybody does i think it is it's a little bit alien isn't it i mean this sort of thing this whole setup didn't exist 100 years ago but we would be in real conversations like sat around a table i think i think it is worth uh mentioning that the because of the nature of the podcast is very personal we're going into our private affairs there's no there's no hiding place in that conversation there's no there's no character or facade that you can stand behind there's no comedy element to this really we're talking about things that are so real and human and often will ripple through to the camera and people listening it's difficult to it's difficult sometimes to do that do you know i mean yeah it's been a great experience and i but i am i am thankful for this kind of natural pause in the summer to kind of collect regather settle the energy at home for us and leo get ready for that new chapter for him get ready for what's coming in the new year potentially do you think this podcast has changed the way that we communicate with each other well yeah okay so if we're going to continue to be really open and vulnerable about this then i may as well get into it i think the first so you've taken 25 weeks well no i just i think that probably the first let's say half i think we were gosh i don't know if i should even say that but i don't know if we were in the best place in our relationship and you know there's many there's many reasons and factors that that sort of pour into that and I think without bearing into the detail I just think that we were probably on our own individual paths of of trying to be busy and proactive with work and I think we probably stumbled into a little bit of a unhealthy routine whereby we would you know arrive together on a Thursday and then we would have this conversation and we would probably sometimes to take each other by surprise a little bit.

37:32And maybe the open admission and the honesty was maybe a little bit too raw and maybe like, wow, didn't realize you felt that way. But what I think has happened is, you know, in more recent weeks and months that we've worked so hard to basically take elements from what happens here and make sure that it translates and transfers to the rest of the days of the week. yeah so that we have a better communication on a more regular basis so to answer your question do i what was your original do i think this is do you think that's changed the way we communicate with each other yeah but if you yeah yes i do yes and that was a long way of saying i think well i can take the onus then i can be i'll say that i was probably not proactive and not getting into the conversations at home enough and i was waiting to Thursday to sit down and have the conversation okay now at home yeah we have a lot more we have a lot more energy and capacity and we want to get into it a bit more and we go through things and it's been hard but I think this podcast has been a reminder for ourselves and probably a lot of people listening that relationships do take a lot of work and upkeep and you have to do these slightly boring and think you know things that you don't necessarily want to do and sit down and talk about but yeah like a Monday morning agenda planning yeah which sounds fucking shit and we agreed and ryan we did it for three hours two one days ago and it was so good and then you were like yeah yeah i feel really seen now this is great this is exactly what we need and then i was like should we do it on monday and you're like no no but i'm actually not avoiding i'm not it didn't happen then but i know that we're going away on friday and we'll have a lot of time to sit down and do this fucking stuff that i don't like doing but we're gonna do it so yeah i think it has been helpful yeah but but the thing is i sit in this chair not not with not with any view that I'm the perfect man in the perfect relationship with the perfect results and everything.

39:27No, no, no. I'm here as a guinea pig to tell you and everyone else that I'm struggling with this, that and everything. And you know, there are people out there who will watch this and view it almost as if like we're doing therapy in public. And like, ultimately for me, this is a little bit like therapy. Sometimes it's fucking hard. What about you? Do you think, do you think the podcast has helped our relationship? Why am I so nervous to ask this fucking question? I don't want you to say it's going to jab me. Why would it jab you? Go on, give me the answer. No, I think it has. I think it's drawn out things that we needed to resolve.

39:59I think I really gelled with what you said, which I think was really honest to share, that you mentioned that you felt like maybe you'd been a bit lazy at home talking and then you'd leave the important conversation until a Thursday, which I definitely struggled with. And I think that that's why sometimes my emotions were really raw. Like when I cried after having the egg retrieval, because I felt really caught off guard when I tried to speak to you that week about you know how we could have an appropriate conversation here in these chairs that we were going to share publicly so that we were you know so that we were I don't know I just wanted to feel like a team and so quite often I would try and chat to you about the pod and I just was met with a bit of resistance but I feel like you've really changed that now and I think that that that are we've you know it's one of those things where really like our relationship at home has to be the most important thing and then if that is good and strong and the communication is good then that will translate in the chair and it kind of I guess with the podcast I get sort of when you're working with your partner it always needs to be that way around when I've was on reality tv for years and And I'm very familiar with a situation whereby you turn up on the day and you are hearing information for the first time from someone you love or care about publicly with no forewarning.

41:27And that is a really gritty situation to be in. Like it feels awful when you feel like you're being tricked or deceived or caught out. So, yeah, I think like no one would want to feel like that. so as long as we're sort of always aligned then i think it's it's a much more enjoyable thing to do what do you what would you say is your biggest lesson or what what's the biggest takeaway from the last 25 episodes for you that being in a relationship is hard and you've already said that they require a lot of work i think for me you know even having that conversation with anna uh and then reflecting on our own relationship

42:12i think like a big bit of advice that i'd always like to remind myself is just don't quit when things feel tough when we're in a bad spot when everything kind of feels like it's really rocky you just gotta keep going because things can change really quickly they do in my life anyway but my life coach always said that like i'm such a fast person and that kind of it's across the board so like every day lots of things happen i've got like a really busy life and it means that also like moods can change quickly things can get done quickly achievements happen quickly it's so full um so that doesn't necessarily translate into everyone's lives but i i do feel like i'm so glad that i didn't just go oh god let's just get out of this now oh this is too hard oh like I don't want to have that conversation with you I just I think it's it's important to to work through a relationship and to really try to make it work I'll tell you what my biggest takeaway from this first season is I think even though we've both just described that there's been a sort of mixed bag of some pretty tricky episodes but then some some fun moments and overall a really kind of um it's a good opportunity to grow as a couple and to take people on that journey.

43:32I think it's really, it's been a great 25, 25 episodes. But my point is, I'm just going to hover over that, like those days that felt particularly difficult, the, the, the reception, the feedback that I've received from a following online, but also people in the streets that I meet at events or wherever it might be. And I know the same goes for you as well, but it is reassuring and it's super refreshing as well to know that the level of honesty and the vulnerability does touch and connect people and knowing that that is worthwhile and that it has been heard and it's kind of landed and resonated and ultimately helped shape something in their world whether it's just a conversation with a friend or family or a partner I think we've provided people with some courage to have tricky conversations right which I think is in my view tremendously valuable and i think worthwhile continuing to do it might not be the slapstick humor and the comedic kind of high energy that exists on that side of the podcast studio but it was never going to be that it's it's it's delivering a different kind of service to people yeah so i think maybe it's a really important also just to remain authentic and Try to mould yourself to what other people, what you think other people want from you.

44:56Yeah. Yeah. Just keep something enjoyable and to feel like real and easy. You know what? I think I actually wrote something like this in the letter to you. Oh. When we started this. Oh, really? Episode one. In that memory lane box. What about authenticity? I'm pretty sure. Now I've said it. I'm pretty sure I put it. I'm pretty sure that I said something to that effect because I wanted to make sure that whatever happened on this episode or sorry on this season, I wanted to make sure that we stayed true and authentic and we weren't becoming performative or becoming something that we weren't as individuals, but as a podcast show.

45:37So for anybody that didn't watch or listen to the first ever episode that we did at the beginning of this year, we wrote down some words, important words. We wrote ourselves letters and we also wrote a letter to the other person. And we put it in this beautiful little box that says memory lane on it and put it in the shelves behind us. And we thought it would be a nice idea to read them out. All of them or just maybe one of them. Maybe one. Maybe we read the letters to each other. Yeah, okay. And then maybe at the end of season two, after a year, we can read the letters to ourselves. Yeah. Okay.

46:17So shall I read the one to you? Okay. Get the tissue box ready, guys. Oh, for fuck's sake. No, it might not be. It might not be. Hopefully, I don't know. I actually don't remember how long this is. So here we go. Oh, yours is cute little paper. Yeah. Are you ready? dear louise well if this letter stays hidden in the box without your sneaky mittens getting to it that'll be the first miracle the second miracle will be completing another season of he said she said the premise of the podcast what's required from us to make it work the honesty the vulnerability the patience and awareness it's not easy to show up and execute every week however the love we share and the bond we have is rooted so deep that no storm can bring us down who knows what this year will bring.

47:02Live tours, maybe children's book release, more babies, TV appearances, new homes, adventures, new places, a new head of hair for me. You might even go by the name of Baroness Thompson based on your current activity in parliament. Well, yes, that's, that's kind of true. And going to, sorry, with your current activity in parliament and going toe to toe with West Street and the entire system built around maternity care or lack of. Whatever comes our way, I'll be by your side. let's keep our hearts open energy calm and minds free we've got this love your partner baby daddy harbor wall and co-host ryan what a sign off what the hell when did i love you what was the third word no because you always say partner so i've obviously jabs you at that but i said love your love your partner baby daddy harbor wall and what's harbor wall because we've spoken about like blokes being the harbor wall that just takes hits and never smashes i don't think you've ever used the word harbour wall before and your harbour wall love that and your co-host and my partner and baby daddy which sounds so like yeah but each word has got like relevance partner because we all say partner which i fucking hate baby we're talking about baby daddies harbour wall is the significance of that and co-host yeah that's me trying to be funny everyone no it's great What a letter.

48:21Go on then. I need to, I need to compose myself. I'm on a hinge because I can't read your letter. Have you done artwork on it? Oh no, that's, that's on, I was like, oh my God, you've done some bluebells for me as well. But also, I never use this letter, this letter stuff. Isn't that cool? From the desk of Louise Thompson. So sophisticated. Oh wow. Are you, hang on. I thought I made him cry so much. Why are you getting so emotional? We're not going anywhere. Well, we are. We're going to Morocco. To Ryan, I just wanted to say that in the last few months, I feel like we've reached a new place, period, chapter in our relationship.

49:04I feel like relationships always move through cycles every two years. And as we celebrate our 10 year anniversary, ours has by chance entered a new phase. I feel like we are fully out of our trauma and embracing life with an attitude that was designed for love, human connection, helping others, prioritising our family, and most of all, joy. I feel like I'm reading the King's speech. This year, I hope that we seek out more joy. I want to travel again with you. Would you like me to read it? I've never seen you so emotional. Let's just get me. Oh my gosh. There must have been like, I have actually been dumped by letter before.

49:46Maybe it's because of that. Okay, let me try. Make me laugh. Yeah, can you just laugh? Okay. I want to travel again with you. I want to rave with you. I want to have solo adventures and late nights with you. And I want to get the fuck off screens because that window into another realm isn't real. And I know that as we grow old and lie on our deathbeds together, we will not regret joy, but we will regret screens. Yes. lily pad lily pad and i didn't even know about that or the bound of screens that's happened in the last 25 weeks i love you so much and i feel so grateful that i met you and you were my that you were my partner for life there you go partner my penguin penguin because because they meet them they mate for life don't they um because without you i can't this is why i can't get married Imagine if I was giving a fucking wedding speech.

50:40And this would be a mess. Imagine that this is my wedding speech. By the way, everyone listening, we've had to clear the room so Louise can get through this. And she still can't do it. It's also just so arrogant. I'm crying because they're my own words. As if they're so profoundly beautiful that I can't tolerate reading them out loud. I love you so much. And I feel so grateful that I met you and you are my partner for life. my penguin because without you i wouldn't have anything that i have today there would be no leo no women's health yes no work success no beautiful home no wonderful cousins and in-laws no sports and most of all i'd probably have lost my mind and be lying dead in a gutter thanks for saving me thanks for keeping me here thanks for patience thanks for loving me and near the way you do we are grateful for your moral compass most of all thank you for teaching me to love myself and the important art of saying no as you can imagine my hand aches from the pressure and speed from which i'm writing because i'm a certified nutter so i'll sign off um i can't even read my writing so i'll sign off here and remember to tell you you sound like your dad i'll sign off here.

51:59I've got so much not running down my face. I'll sign off here and remember to tell you nice things from every day from now on until 2027. Then maybe I'll stop. I can't wait to reflect on what our misogies are. Oh, nice. Big love the lewd dog. That's a great letter. Never stop bird whistling around the house for my attention. Well, I will keep that letter. Thank you very much. That's a nice one. Oh. I need to read it again to make it better. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's perfect. Oh, dear. Oh, she'll keep that. Thank you very much. That is a sweet, sweet letter. Yeah, I'm going to keep mine too.

52:38Letters are just the best. Aren't they the best? That holds more sentiment, value, importance and love and everything else than any text message or probably. Absolutely. Maybe even, maybe even a conversation. When it's, when it's written word. And you get to keep it. And you, you've thought about the words and you've, you've gone from brain through to pen. there's been that divine intervention of i'm going to put it with some paper yeah honestly it counts for so much i think that's a really nice place to end thank you guys for honoring that um that teary exchange very personal but as we we like to bang on about it's uh we share everything warts and all um i've got a really quick recommendation for this week and it is a book called Verity by Colleen Hoover.

53:24And I wanted to talk about it lots. But we've got to pick up our son from nursery. Please don't. But I read it an entire day, one day. I don't know how I found the time or capacity to do that, but it happened. Oh, yeah. Facts, you did. You read a full book in a day. I think you should read it. Although it is, at part, quite sexual. Yeah, I've heard you describe circular motion around the nipple a few times. You weren't supposed to be in that conversation. I'm not really a nipple guy, so I'm not sure if this is the right book for me. But also imagine reading all that kinky stuff on the tube with people sat opposite you knowing what you're reading.

54:01Wow, there's all sorts of weird shit going on. It's quite hot and steamy at points. Arousing. Have you ever read an erotic novel? No. I haven't. I'm going to set you a challenge that this summer I'm going to get you to read something saucy. That one? You can read that one. And then I want to know how it made you feel as a bloke. Horny. I would imagine. Maybe. For anyone that wants to read it, I guess to summarise without spoiling it, it's about an author who gets the call up to ghostwrite another author's book when she falls really, really unwell. She moves in with the family and there are a lot of twists and turns.

54:43It doesn't sound like the sort of basis of a horny story, I must say. It's not revolve. It doesn't revolve around horn stuff. It's not supposed to be super horny. I don't think it's just horny for me because I'm such a prude and I don't read books very often. Fiction, should I say? Well, I actually don't have a recommendation this week, which I feel a little bit. I'll tell you a good recommendation and write a letter to your partner. That's actually a great idea. As you know, I'm a big fan of letters anyway, but that was a really lovely reminder of the power of what a letter can really do for the person writing it but also the person receiving it you would have you would have taken a lot from that yeah i would imagine but me receiving that is is really really special so yeah my advice would be don't wait until birthdays or christenings or christmas or easter or whatever it is just write a letter pop it in an envelope and give it to your partner stunning any day next week and thank you guys so much for listening to our last 25 episodes it has been such a special journey that we've all been on together um i love you all and we love you all so grateful for your continued support and for all the messages that you always send us if you have anything that you want to ask us please do email in at h triple s at srproductions.co.uk okay and be sure to follow and subscribe us so that we can keep you guys posted for when we are going to come back hopefully with some positive news i would like to also add thank you for giving me the space and the platform to have these conversations because i know that us blokes don't tend to do so well with conversation in general but i know that you know that people listening to this and i i get a lot of messages from from men to say that our conversations are really doing something good for them and i think it's really i'm i'm just honored to be able to do this with you as well my partner but it's i feel very i feel very connected and very attached to what we do so we're gonna take a brief summer pause to get our ducks in a row and hope we come back very soon i'm gonna look down that camera i'm gonna wave and you're gonna look down that one have a nice summer have a great summer guys voyage adios ciao Salut!

57:03How many languages?

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