Jealousy, red flags and going back to reality TV…?

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1:03Welcome back to AUA. We've got Louise Thompson in the hot seat. You ready? I got one ready in the barrel. Fire.

1:11Louise: Quick game's a good game. All right. First question we've got this week is, would you ever do any more reality TV shows? What is it really like being on the screen? No. Bam. Explain. No, I don't know. I think that there's a reason that we left. We were mining too much of our life. We felt like we needed to really over-dramatize everything that we were doing. I think when you're young and you have less responsibility, like it's really fun being on a reality TV show. If you've not got a lot to lose, if you don't mind kind of going in and out of relationships quite quickly, that's what they tend to really focus on, like most successful reality shows around relationships right i guess they are whether that's like a family dynamic or friendship dynamic or love intimate dynamic and if you're stable then you become quite boring in that modality so i'd rather be stable and not in a reality tv show than feel like i need to hype everything up for the sake of entertainment reality tv is incredibly time consuming so you're not allowed to really do anything else on the side you have to be at someone else's disposable whenever wherever you can get a cool time really late the night before having to turn up on set somewhere early super early in the morning with very little preparation so if you're someone that loves like spontaneity um and like thrill then then it's really great for you but i think at the stage where in our life now it's really important for us to have control over the things that we do with our day would you want to get back onto television for reality tv yeah well i don't have as much experience to draw on as you do you did a decade of tv which is pretty insane it is insane so i feel like i've only got a very short sort of experience three years and that was on a show that was pretty manipulative and i don't know if that's the same for all reality tv i would i would be excited with the opportunity of doing more tv work but it would have to be very different to what i've experienced yeah i think that's the same yeah i know that when i like one of my big priorities over the last like couple of years has definitely been to speak to a lot of production companies and to see if there's an appetite for talking more about either inflammatory bowel diseases given the one percent of the population currently have one and that's on the rise and there's a lot to get into there i think it could be like very educational very helpful and quite empowering for people that are being diagnosed also there's a lot that i would want to say on the birth trauma situation so still trying to navigate that and figure out like what the best format would be yeah to raise awareness around that yeah and we are having a lot of conversations about those things behind the scenes all the time whether it's like us speaking to i don't know producers legal teams um the work that i do with the charities and to do something in the television space around those topics would feel really fulfilling for me i do think as we're rising 40 now well you're not quite yet about this going up that i whatever we say yes to has to feel like there's like a real clear purpose yeah it's kind of easier to say no to things where we're sat yeah i agree with that and i don't necessarily want to be someone that is in front of the camera for the rest of my life as you said like we've did it for 10 years i think it was even longer maybe 12 years what was it like for those 10 years it was it was wild i mean some of the best years of my life like really really really fun but really all over the place yeah what are the things that you don't miss about it the long event days when we used to sit around we'd sit in a basement it was like we were in a prison we'd sit in a basement in a dark room like hot stuffy dark room and everyone just be sat on the floor like we're in like a common room and you couldn't get anything done so there'd be a lot of noise like a lot of snack boxes everyone's sat around like occasionally i bring my laptop because i come down from uni and then when i left uni and i was doing like other little bits of work i would try and open the laptop lid and within seconds i'd just be distracted and i realized that like you just can't multitask in that environment and you're just waiting on tender hooks to be called and they obviously have a call sheet but you don't really get to see their plan for the day right um it's a key part key parts then a lot of anxiety builds there's groups there's tension some people aren't getting along with other people also looking back in those moments there will there will be people i won't name names but there will be people who would be like really thinking about how they're going to go into that next scene and then there's people like maybe you and me who are just so naive and blind to it all we just roll in and get ambushed and then also we'd have to get really dressed up and it'd be like 10 a.m in the morning and you'd be somewhere i don't know in the city like really hectic work environment and you'd pop to pret to get a sandwich so you could eat something remotely healthy and you'd be wearing like a ball gown and heels it was just mortifying actually you know what i think the thing that i would never i would never want to get back into is this this idea of like with reality tv you're just at the mercy of the of the producers aren't you and the storyline they want yeah and i think that at the end of the day it's entertainment and you want to do a good job so you want to be entertaining and so if you want if you're someone that likes a good job do a good job in the role that you're in then it's it's not for you unless you're like willing to like really give it your everything well i wouldn't want to be in a reality so i've said no to a couple of invitations to be on shows because i know that i wouldn't be really dramatic on them i don't want to offer my time to do like a sub standard to to to not like give it my all I know that giving it my all would be being really like messy and being really silly and making some terrible decisions and having like crazy arguments and then trying to like worm my way back from them and I and I don't if I know I can't offer that I don't want to be in something if I'm going to just try and be really glossy and really perfect and glamorous because that's not what people that watch those shows want to see so it has to offer something different yeah do you reckon 100 and also you know it's quite powerful to have ownership over what you're doing what you're putting out there in the world so the moment you sign a contract with somebody else whether it's a production company or one of these streamers you know they then have ownership over over you that material will be theirs forever and so say you were to die you know if they wanted to create 50 viral TikTok's out of loads of stuff with your face on it they could do that and make loads of money out of it and that's just a bit sick and I hate that we live in a world now where we have to think about like the ownership of content and data but we do is there a show that you'd love to do out there I mean I have always said that I would love to be on Real Housewives that's right yeah but we would have to move to New York or Miami or LA because those are the ones I'd want to be on a lot of People are moving to Miami at the moment, Ryan.

8:11Are they?

8:11Louise: Yeah. Oh, man, I'll go with the flow. Never been. Let's put it on the list. Put me in the stream. Stop over via the Bahamas as well. Do you remember, have we ever spoken about the fact that when we would do those event days and there would be these huge spreads of food sprawled across these long banqueting tables that they used to use hairspray to like fix all the food in place? Oh, do you know what? So then if you accidentally, if you were hungry and you thought like, oh, I'll just take a macaroon from that, you'd be crunching down on hairspray, but they do it so that no one would eat it. This is slightly awkward.

8:39I didn't know that. and I would eat the food off that table. So that explains a lot. I did not know that.

8:46Louise: You're so the kind of person that would just be like helping yourself to chunks of cheese and crackers off those gross grazing boards. Mate, I'm literally sat at the table watching all sorts of chaos unfold and I'm like, I'll just eat my way through this awkwardness. You know those grazing boards like really have a moment, don't they? They've had a moment. There's something actually a bit gross about like loads of sweaty food being like fingered for hours. God, yeah. People were like, pick a bit up. Oh, no, actually, I don't want to see that. Oh, mate. What was your favourite bit that you got to then just watch in on?

9:18Louise: Well, like the best scene that you just stood in the corner of. Oh, I don't know if I can say it. Yeah, go on then, if you can think of one. I can remember being at one of those banqueting tables. We were all dressed up somewhere in central London. And he was at the head of the table and he was getting mad into it. And I can't remember what it was about specifically, but he pulled a knife on him at the table and i was like you ain't doing fuck all with that put that down and i was like this is just mental where this is going obviously it was all acting but i was like put it down do you don't remember that and probably also just like a is it like a knife and fork knife oh yeah yeah yeah just a regular lunch knife yeah yeah do you remember when they cut they'd constantly try and set you up with steph pratt oh yeah have we spoken about that on this show before yeah i think early on early oh my god yeah yeah they really wanted me to care about that can i tell you something about that there that that's funny because like i was still very new to the show at that point right yeah and i was i was i mean i i didn't figure the game out at any stage but i was so new to it and then i remember going to notting hill to a really bougie gym not long after being like a full-time pt so i was like oh this is quite cool i'm in a nice gym could get used to this and then obviously i used to watch the hills and all of a sudden i'm in this gym with steph pratt and i'm trying to keep it together i'm like i think i told her in the end i was like look i gotta tell you this is one i'm new to this two i used to watch you on the tv three where the hell do we go from here and then she started to put it on me by like showing me her abs in the gym i'm like oh my god what do i do you always told me that you'd never watched the show before you featured in it.

10:58Louise: No, Made in Chelsea. Oh, yeah. Is that true? Yeah. Is it? Yeah. I was more into the American, like the OC and the hills and Laguna Beach. And that was probably because I was like desperate to live the OC life. You kind of still are. Yeah, to be fair. But I was in that like American Abercrombie stage, you know? Yeah. I was like, I'm going to the States, mom. Never did. Wait, you actually said that to your mom? Yeah. Well, you're like, I'm going to go to America. Yeah, I thought Mike Jeffries was going to scout me and I was going to be the next big thing, but it didn't happen.

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13:43Louise: On the note of jealousy, we've actually got a question. It was actually more of statement from somebody jealousy means you care full stop red flag or relatable it's like an exam question discuss yeah investigate good question are you a jealous person oh i think we all i think as humans we all have moments of feeling a little bit jealous yeah i don't think that i'm uh i'm trying to think of an example where I felt like, oh, I feel jealous. In like a deep version, you know. Maybe in a relationship. Oh, sorry, in a relationship. Yeah. No, I've not been made to, no, I actually haven't been made to feel like that in a relationship.

14:27Have you? What, with the Seth Brat thing?

14:29Louise: Well, they tried to make me feel jealous of her, but I didn't care. They did the same with Sophie Herman. And they'd always throw Sophie Herman on you as well. And I just didn't get jealous. But does that mean, is that, does that mean that I didn't care? Probably, yeah. but that maybe that's bad if neither of us have ever been jealous of one of have you ever felt jealous in this relationship and i don't mean of like anything that i have but have you felt jealous no what even is the word jealous what does that actually mean how can you let's contextualize this well okay so if if would you ever get okay would you get jealous if i went out to the pub and okay fine we've got a dinner party here actually on monday we had a dinner party on monday a whole bunch of guys around the table if you saw me in the corner having like like a hysterical laughter with another guy and like having a dmc for an hour how would that make you feel not jealous how would it make you feel I kind of want to say nothing as in like I would I'd be like impartial to it like oh sweet she's having a nice nice time but it wouldn't be like it wouldn't evoke sort of bad negative thoughts or emotions on the situation no and if you were doing the same I'd just be so damn happy that you were socializing I'd be like yay Ryan's at the dinner party yeah I don't know I just either that's a reflection and testament to the relationship or just as individuals we're quite secure and confident yeah but i suppose i suppose people have been stung before in relationships many times right but i've been cheated on a lot oh actually i've told you this before my first relationship she had hickeys on her neck and i was at lunch with my parents and they spotted it that was that wasn't jealousy but that was like one of those one of those moments where I looked at it and felt like immediate problems.

16:26That's not jealousy even though.

16:27Louise: No, but that's, you've never, you've never told me that story before. I have not told you that. No. Okay. First proper relationship. Is this the one that got, yeah, who got your name tattooed on her leg? Neck. Wait, the neck was, she got your name tattooed, what, next to the hickey? No, no, this is sometime after. After we split up, she then got - That was like an apology. After we split up, she then got RL put on her neck here as like a way of like, I'm still into you does this work and I'm like no that's so intense on the neck it's no room to hide there unless you walk around in a turtleneck I think after that she ended up in Australia as a tattoo artist and she did the whole thing the whole neck the whole neck so she obviously got rid of that but yeah she was my first proper relationship I was 20 years old I thought she was fabulous in every way and I was sat at lunch with my parents and my dad obviously he's got no problems Like ratting you out?

17:21Well, no, no, no.

17:22Louise: Well, he assumed that it was you? No. No, he knew. Because a 20-year-old Ryan was not, I was not the kind of guy to bring a girl to lunch with my parents and just like parade hickeys. He knows I'm not that guy. Ah. So he said across the table, he's like, what's that on your neck? And she just crumbled. Sorry, your dad pulled up, how old was she? I'll be the same age, yeah. 20. So he actually put her on the spot? Big time. So that's how much she didn't like her then? Oh yeah, my parents didn't approve. She was a big problem. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when I, because I'm just sat there like I was with the bloody bank of hairsprayed food, just eating away.

18:02I then pan to the right and I'm like, Jesus moly. Like a whole situation here.

18:07Louise: When you hadn't even noticed her? No, so then we go down and have it out in the bathroom and, sorry, that sounds sexual. We have a - What, in the restaurant? You go downstairs? she goes to the toilet i follow her and i was like this is a big big big problem yeah she then comes back up to the lunch table gives us i have told this story before she was like a dancer in a club in manchester in between because she was also abercrombie and she would do the two and she was like a table dancer yeah what she danced on a table yeah when you dated her sorry that's really judgmental yeah i just can't imagine little old ryan who like can't even see a hickey on a massive neck dating someone that's dancing on a table it's no different to me rolling into one of the biggest tv shows completely blind and naive i'm like a blind mole rat i'm just like just bumbling my way through this world anyway yeah she she basically gives us this version of like yeah we get tipped more if we like entertain the guests and i'm like this is great all of this is gross like that's that's apparently the tame version of it which i know is a lie anyway yeah So if it's for money, it's fine.

19:13So she actually did cheat on me. So I think I've, yeah, I've been cheated on before.

19:17Louise: But then did you go into your next relationship ever feeling jealous? No, no, no. I didn't go into that feeling. Because I've also been cheated on a lot before, but I still like just waltz my way into the next relationship without questioning whether their intentions are good or bad. And I would never get jealous. I have been around relationships. My best mate at Cardiff, and he was in a relationship with a girl. And she would get, because he was a very, like, handsome, ripped up guy. And he'd get a lot of attention wherever we would go. And she got very, very jealous about it. And how would she show that jealousy?

19:51Oh, I've seen her, like, not just slap, but claw his face in a club because he was talking to girls.

19:57Louise: Bloody hell. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, Tim, again, he's another blind mole rat. He's like, what the hell's happening, bro? Totally oblivious that there's a lineup of hot girls, like, waiting to get his attention. and he's like oh he's just no idea and he's just getting mullered by his girlfriend so yeah i have seen how jealousy can play out okay to summarize i think jealousy is a red flag i think if you trust your partner then there's no need to be jealous i do know people who have been in relationships before where their partner can be very controlling they don't let them wear certain clothes out of the house they're not allowed to have good guy friends and that just is not something that i would ever be able to handle so it's like an insecurity thing isn't it yeah i actually remember binky always saying that she would want to end up with someone who not let me quote him my friends um she'd she'd always want to end up with someone who if she was she loves to dance like on a dance floor in a club the person who would you know dance like celebrate her on the podium if she's like got up there like climbed up and having a good time instead of being like i'm so embarrassed by you like get down or yeah and and that that's it isn't it you want someone that's going to like really like lift you up put you on the podium not control yeah yeah your best bits okay one last question real quick one this one what is the name of the finance youtube investor good question his name is mark tilbury great to follow on youtube it's like investing for dummies Married to Charlotte Tilbury?

21:35Louise: Definitely not. Couldn't be further from it. I don't think any part of the Tilbury family, although both very successful in their own right. Do you watch this guy? Well, he's the guy that I watched when I couldn't relax in Ibiza when we took our last holiday a year ago. And I needed to find a new hobby, so I started trading. And actually, it's really paid off. So cheers, Mark Tilbury. That's it? I'm sure there are people that are maybe more palatable than him. I just found him really like direct to the point. I'll never forget his name because of the Charlotte Tilbury. And I reckon that will stick for them as well.

22:11Mark Tilbury. Locked in.

22:13Louise: Mark Tilbury. Is he a trading advisor or is he just like a financial advisor? Very good question. I didn't sort of watch his intro video, so I'm not sure as to what his background is, but he speaks about his journey from investing, I don't know, like 30, 40 years ago and turning little bits of money into lots of money through the compound effect and how to do that. I should listen to this dude. Yes, Brian, you should listen to me as well. Well, that's a nice place to end. So I'm going to catch you later, RISE, watching Mark Tilbury's vids. Is that what you're going to do? I might actually check him out, yeah.

22:48Louise: Yeah, on our next holiday. No, not on holiday. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. Yeah. It's been quite varied this week, the chat this week. Keep the questions rolling. we'll be back on Wednesday for the full episode and the AUAs will continue to come out on Mondays, YouTube Sundays lots of love see you next time

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