Louise and Ryan plan their DREAM hen and stag dos!

0:00Hey guys, it's Mary from Two Judgy Girls. This episode is sponsored by Aerie. If you're counting down the minutes until you take your bra off when you get home, it's probably the wrong bra. Or if the straps are digging into your shoulder or you're constantly adjusting throughout the day, it's definitely time to get a better fit. That's why we love Aerie. Their bras are designed to be the essential effortless first layer with soft fabrics, great fits, and up to 59 sizes. So you can find the one that's right for you. Your bra should be holding you in, not holding you back. Visit Aerie.com to find the right bra for you.

0:36That's A-E-R-I-E dot com.

1:00lose yourself.

1:01Louise: Yeah, that actually is my, the top spot. Yeah. If Louise is slamming that song downstairs in the gym. You know that there's some good work happening. Yeah. I think I need to listen to music a bit more actually. Yeah. Would you agree with that? True. I've got a website that's coming out. If anyone wants to check out, it's louise-thompson.co.uk and it's quite straightforward. It's just nothing really too exciting to see on there, but I wanted to add a section to it that had all the spotify i created spotify playlists basically of all the podcast episodes that i'd done on other people's platforms i thought it would be good like a bit of a resource hub and then i also want to create a playlist that i can share with the public because people always ask what we listen to and i think i did write a message actually to people in my broadcast channel instagram saying i was sharing all of my playlists slash rhymes slash basically yours but I don't think I can share all of them because there's probably some pretty weird stuff on there what's your guilty pleasure song not other pleasures my guilty pleasure songs well if I'm feeling a bit glum yeah I will put on a bit of Disney's greatest hits I don't know if I should admit that but that does happen quite often you've got a friend in me yeah toy story actually that's quite sad isn't it no that's a great song but isn't the movie really sad like loads of blokes cried in it have you ever cried in a film yeah many times like in the cinema um how often do you feel like you need to hold back tears when watching a movie no like in life oh not that often like do you have moments where you like slightly choke up in your throat and you're like okay hold this in i don't need to cry right now it depends what you mean by often it doesn't happen every week doesn't happen every month it might happen a couple times a year okay depends on what i'm exposed to fair enough um i'm just curious yeah no yeah it's weird how people have such different emotions isn't it i actually wrote a caption about this ages ago and i never shared it it's back in the archive somewhere of all my weird thoughts that i wrote down when i was in a bit of a weird spot i wrote this whole piece about like different spectrums of emotions and how people we don't know what someone else feels no so i don't know what your happiness feels like it could be a bit nah it could be a bit like dull or it could be really amazing like you might feel how other people feel on heroin when you're happy yeah but hang on sorry sorry what you mean by that is you don't know what my happiness looks like not feels like no i actually mean feel so look as well but i think i've got quite a good gauge on like being able to tell when you look like you're happy but i don't know when you're like happy it might feel like subdued like a tame could feel like a tame happiness or it could feel like a really electric like lit up like golden ball of happiness and i think i then started looking at different personalities and thinking because i know that people that have experienced trauma feel quite a wide spectrum of feelings and i do think that if you yeah i mean like quite an extreme like lowness that then makes a happiness feel even more amazing is that perspective but there are also people that are just much more emotional aren't there in every different emotion so joy anger sadness and i think i'm probably one of the extreme people and i think sam probably is i think that there are different people i think you're maybe i actually can't speak for you no you can't but you could be maybe you're in like a smaller box like all of your emotions sit like closer to one another i just think i think you're sort of i don't know maybe i'm i'm think i keep going back to how emotions look you're talking about how it feels do you have any advice for maintaining friendships as an adult i am the wrong person to ask that question i'm so glad you said that shit i'm maintaining friendships so glad you said that i because it's true i'll tell you this is literally how i maintain my friendships i allocate like a moment in the day where i batch reply to every single message that's come into me and that's the worst way to live your life why is that because if i get a message from a friend on my phone i can't just blue ticket and leave it there if i am doing something else if i allow myself to get distracted by responding to that message i have no idea where else then i'm going to get distracted as in my brain will get taken in another direction like when you uh is this a bit like when you used to drink alcohol like if you had one you'd just lose yourself and have 10 is it is it the same like if you exchange one message are you then like i want to have a deep let's go yeah that's the thing i i feel like i owe that conversation 10 hours worth of chat so it's then like this might never stop so i'm scared to get into it so why can't you just simply say would love to chat but i'm just in something right now can i get you later yeah but then later i'm kicking the can down the road and then later it becomes later and later and later then at some point later comes around then i've got to jump on that call and then it's like oh my god i've got to have like three hours worth of catching why does it need to be three hours how about you what can be achieved in a 20 minute phone call so much so much so now i just do voice notes to be honest and i'll just but a batch of a lot it takes people are gonna hate me you're gonna hate what i'm about to say but simon sinek has on one of his episodes he says uh one of his closest female friends who has suffered with trauma of different, maybe not your kind of trauma, but trauma.

6:52They have a thing where they say, if they're in trouble, as in like they feel low or unhappy, they say, have you got eight minutes?

6:58Louise: Oh, that's their time stamp. Because all you need is eight minutes of someone's time. That's very reassuring. It's a bit like Atomic Habits, like just start something for, is it three minutes? And then see two minutes. And see what happens. But you don't need three hours then, do you? Can I just tell you something, by the way? If you said to someone, I'm just in something right now, I'll get back to you later. It would do you a lot of good. Because what you do is you just don't reply. And people are like, oh my God, Louise is so terrible with her phone. I find it comforting that I have a friend who's worse on the phone than me.

7:34To the point where I don't even mind that she hasn't responded to like five of my last messages.

7:40Louise: She lives in Hong Kong. I know that she happens to be in this country now. I really want to see her. I love her. I miss her a lot. We were really good friends at school. She's really cool. And by cool, I mean just very low key. And she's like trumped me on being crap with her phone. I don't think it's not the best title to ask. But I don't mind because I'm like, I get it. So even though I really want to see her, I'm like, it doesn't matter. Like I'm connected to you via the fact that we're both crap with our phone. So I know that we're then still good. Right. So one friend, you often say you've got like 78 friends.

8:17I have a lot of friends. So one of your friends understands how you operate.

8:20Louise: I spread myself too thinly. No one else gets it, by the way. Everyone else will just band you as like, it's just rude. You're quite smart. You've got five friends. So of course you can be a good friend. But what if I've signed up to having like 30 good friendships? Then I'm letting everyone down all the time. So instead - And by definition, they're not good friendships. I think I've got that just awkward number thing. it's like with the bridesmaids or like having a wedding like how do you fit how do you work around the groups it's actually i'm throwing this this event for my jewelry launch and in the end i've said you know what i just would like the pr to go and invite like anyone that they they would like they're just lots of influencers because that's so random is that random why would you not have your 78 friends because i can't get 78 people there because there's not enough room at the table so it's so i've basically i don't mean 78 but it's 15 people that then is a really hard number of people to get together well don't worry you've just been called up to your one of your closest friends wedding a week out and i'm so like happy about it because i just love i just don't take these things personally at all but i know how stressful it would have been for her to even send that invitation late because she's full of overwhelm probably and there's so many people and so I'm like look I don't mind and then let's see what's what's convenient for us and if it's and then if it is then we'll make it happen I think it's gonna be a banging wedding so I think we should probably try and make it happen am I a bad person though for feeling that way about friendships are you a bad person for feeling that way about friendships like am I weird for not being able to fit like 15 seats i think it's quite odd yeah but that's not saying you're a bad person i think it's quite odd though yeah but it's also because some people lots of my good friends work on a thursday so like they won't be able to come so then if there's like people that slightly gets good friends that are coming then that's a bit odd i don't know it's just the whole thing is like a bit odd i take it too seriously i think to receive the invitation even if you know they can't make it still carries value.

10:30Louise: Okay. Now we're getting somewhere with this. This is therapy. I'd rather be considered and thought of than not. My mate had a stag do. Didn't even get considered. He had two, in fact. He didn't get invited. Come to the wedding, though, to the after party. So you actually do get... That was offensive to you. Or offended you. Yeah. But I don't operate like that. I like to give people time. I like to have a almost open channel of conversation the whole time. We've been here before. we've spoken about this I do have like three people that I'm always in a constant stream of communication with I can't remember the last time I saw you on the phone having a friendly chat to a friend because I don't want to be on phone conversations I do not do a telephone call but let me just tell you this that is not normal behaviour I know even when I was at school I would not be on a telephone call with my parents everyone else would be on the payphone had a little charge card and I was like I just that's your batshit just not sure I can speak to them you are batshit why am I so weird I don't know but maybe we need to address this

11:45hey guys it's Mary from Two Judgy Girls this episode is sponsored by Aerie if you're counting down the minutes until you take your bra off when you get home it's probably the wrong bra or if the straps are digging into your shoulder or you're constantly adjusting throughout the day, it's definitely time to get a better fit. That's why we love Aerie. Their bras are designed to be the essential, effortless first layer with soft fabrics, great fits, and up to 59 sizes so you can find the one that's right for you. Your bra should be holding you in, not holding you back. Visit Aerie.com to find the right bra for you.

12:21That's A-E-R-I-E.com.

12:27Louise: someone's asked you spoke a while ago about your thoughts on marriage weddings but have you ever thought about what you'd do for your hen and stag do's if you were to have them well i can't really handle booze so it would be a pretty short-lived and potentially waste of time if we went out partying somewhere like rata slav estonia or prague on the beers because i would literally last about two hours and it'd be game over so as fun as that sounds it just wouldn't work for me so i'd probably find myself i don't know doing something like let me let me think about this like well i'll tell you what my brother did a nice a nice tag do he went to port school and we had like a beach but it wasn't a beach club like nikki beach that vibe it was more a bit like a beach a restaurant on the beach with buckets of rose and a good group of mates which then kicks on to like you just spill into the town and you go to different bars and that was quite nice okay so i'd probably do something more like that or i'd do an activity within there might even be golf at this point oh i knew you were gonna say that might even be golf oh no maybe i'd go to marbella and do like a paddle weekend yeah but then you're alienating loads of people because there are people that hate that oh no that's fine i don't want i don't want riffraff there okay sports yeah Queens only.

13:46What about you? What's your hen do looking like?

13:48Louise: I'm going to Ibiza. Right. And I'm going to do a wellness retreat. Oh. And it's going to be very spiritual. I think I might invite Alex Mitten. He's a dude. He's a dude on a hen do. Alex Mitten and I have been messaging on Instagram because he actually wanted to be put in touch with my book publisher, which I'm really glad. I love it when people ask me questions and want to be connected with people. he's gone through, I think, quite a spiritual journey over the last few years. And what I love is the authenticity in what he's posting at the moment. Some people get freaked out by that kind of change.

14:29Louise: I just think it's so endearing. Anyway, I'm just kind of joking, you won't be coming, but I would like to do a lot of like very new age spiritual treatments. I don't think I want want to do any ayahuasca myself but i wouldn't mind if other people want to do so i could watch them and i'd also want to go to some day clubs okay do lots of dancing um also you know that massage guy the masseuse who gave us the massages when we were on ibiza last time yeah i feel like i'd quite like a bit of his energy the guy that was burping on us yeah yeah Yeah, him basically just holding his hands around all of our bodies and just healing us of all of our sins.

15:18Louise: And then I'd quite like some Park Chinois duck wraps careered over. Oh, God, yeah. That was elite. Do you reckon you'd want to go on a private jet on your stag? No, that's wanky. It was a bit, wasn't it? Oh, sorry, one last thing. i i think that i would quite like to offer people those drips you know like a stand where you can get a drip like a hydration drip okay and i'm not really into mixing like pharmaceuticals with wellness practices because obviously i've been at both ends of the spectrum but i do think that there would be guests who would like to try that out and if i could offer that for them and then that would make me feel good and then i was thinking about this actually the other day sam used to have do you remember he used to have like a weekly drip sent around to his house from our amazing doctor who is actually just his doctor to be honest i think i like consulted with her a few times but um he used to have this nurse go around to his house and he'd sit in the garden and have like a weekly b12 i do remember a magnesium infusion anyway okay that's a little nugget into our so yeah your hen do doesn't sound too rascal my dream scenario would be to like get loads of my single friends and loads of your single friends and like connect them so they could all fall in love like that would be the ultimate hen do stag weekend combo for me hmm isn't that cute yeah like just actually making other people fall in love I don't think I've got a single friend though you haven't got a single single friend no Not one single friend?

17:00I can't think of one, no.

17:01Louise: Okay. All right. Well, that's that plan out the window then. We'll have to make some new friends quick. All right. I think that's the time up on that one. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. It feels super quick, these ones, doesn't it? I know. It's like pacey. I know. So many more questions that have come in that I really, really want to answer. I want to ask you about flirting. I thought you were going to say, I want to ask you about flir-east. I was like, niche. No, that would be really niche. Doesn't she do Hits Radio with Sam? Yeah. No flirting. flirting being cheating but let's save that for the main episode on Wednesday if you guys enjoyed this then please do give it a like or a star a star rating five star rating that'd be great share it with people you love tell only your best friends and follow us across all platforms thank you it would mean a lot a lot to us thanks guys as we really enjoy communicating with you with you all and thank you mainly for sending in these epic questions true that See you next week.

17:56Louise: See you next week. See you on Wednesday.

18:11Hey guys, it's Mary from Two Judgy Girls. This episode is sponsored by Aerie. If you're counting down the minutes until you take your bra off when you get home, it's probably the wrong bra. or if the straps are digging into your shoulder or you're constantly adjusting throughout the day, it's definitely time to get a better fit. That's why we love Aerie. Their bras are designed to be the essential, effortless first layer with soft fabrics, great fits, and up to 59 sizes so you can find the one that's right for you. Your bra should be holding you in, not holding you back. Visit Aerie.com to find the right bra for you.

18:48That's A-E-R-I-E.com. Thank you.