Ryan caught Khloé Kardashian's attention?!

0:01Hey guys, welcome back to He Said She Said. Hello. Hello. This is Nitsch, my boy. How are you doing, Rizy? I'm all right. How are you? Yeah, I'm good. I think I've got sciatica, so I'm sat like this and I can already feel my leg twitching. Not twitching, but just compressing a nerve. I feel like sciatica is supposed to be really painful. I don't think it's like fully blown sciatica, but it's definitely related to that. I was riding my bike to school with Leo today and my foot on the pedal was... You know when you like catch a nerve and it like bounces and trembles uncontrollably? No. You've never had that when you like hit a nerve and your thing trembles?

0:41What thing? Your hand or your leg or your arm. Yeah, no, I have shaky hands for sure. Oh, anyway, psartica is a bitch. Is it sore in your back? It's like a constant, I was going to say dull, but it's more of a sharp pain in the background. Your nerve pain's pretty bad. I've never had it before. It's really not great. I don't know what's cost it either because I've never had it before. Aside from that, I'm good, yeah. I might have to just keep wiggling my legs around. You've got those new£20 vans on. I do. My summer canvas. How are you? Yeah. I feel solid. I feel good mentally. Not too shabby physically either.

1:23Good, good, good. Do I have anything to worry about, Rye? Regarding? Regarding other women. What?

1:34Well, I've noticed there have been a few people that have been interacting with you on social media. Oh, go on. Spill the beans. I know where this is going already. Khloe Kardashian liked your post on Instagram. Oh, no. As did a few other ladies. Yes. Nicole Scherzinger, who was always your whole pass. No, she wasn't my whole pass. She was like, if she is my whole past, that's also cool. But she was my number one for a few years. Many years. Your entire childhood was made up of posters of her on your wall. No. And also one of the Selling Sunset cast. Yeah, which I didn't know that. I didn't know she followed me, but apparently she does.

2:16Wait, do they all follow you as well? So watch out. No, no, no, no. No, they do. Yes, for the podcast, they say yes. They all follow me. Chloe follows me. She's always up in my grill. No. Yeah, it's kind of whack. All on the same evening as well. So I'm lying in bed because Ryan and I hang out in separate rooms. I lie in bed. The truth is that Louise goes to bed at 7pm. And Ryan like scuttles up the stairs and was like, hey, look at this. Khloe Kardashian follows me and liked my photo. And then about 20 minutes later, I get a screenshot of a message. God, I'm really making you sound super lame.

2:54Yeah, thanks for this. She's also liked your post. No, no, no. She doesn't follow me. She likes my post. And then the screenshot I sent you was Nicole Scherzinger, like 10 minutes later, did the same thing. And I was like, what is happening? I've never ever like fallen into like the slipstream of viral videos, but apparently I'm in one right now. Don't pretend you don't know exactly what you were doing. What? I posted a video from this podcast and it's gone viral many times. So Ryan posted the Kintsugi clip. from the pod he said she said which we've shared on our on our pages i think before and ryan thought we'd try it out on a trial reel which is not something we've really experimented with why are we saying we yes we have shared pages you posted it on your page using a trial reel yeah and it's gone mental i actually haven't looked at what it's basically got three million views and my my instagram obviously doesn't have millions of followers yet but it's it's wild because you posted it however many months ago and it got millions of views and massive engagement and i thought i'd just try it on instagram reels on the trials trial reels and i don't really do things that instagram like prompts you to do in terms of like here's the new tricks for being some people do though no i know i know i really know and i've never been that person it's just i don't know i'm always like the slowest to the party in that sense but i just thought you know what let me try this because i need some growth on the old channels here and oh my gosh it's taken off in a massive way so basically if anyone out there is trying to grow their platform throw a couple of trial viral worthy trial rails up and you gained like 10 000 followers overnight 14 000 14 000 isn't that insane so then what's kind of uncool about this is that i thought sweet i'll do the same thing and i thought i'd post the exact same video into the ethernet is that even a thing just sounds good um and i think it's got 6 000 views which is cool then i mentioned it to sam because he's kind of an icon over on social media and um i was just querying the whole trial reels thing with him and he was like no no no like you don't need to be doing that that's just going to drag down your engagement so really we're not sat here talking from an expert point of view when it comes to social media strategy i think just throw shit at the wall and see what sticks i think you can post five trial reels a day god i have a lot of time to be doing that you've got a lot of time and a lot of videos yeah anyway that's enough about that that was kind of fun though you've had some surgery this week last week you've had some stuff removed i guess you could call it surgery i had to patch you up before school this morning i know you did it really in a kind of very cute but funny way as i expected to you as you were patching up my back you patched up my back in the same way that you eat with a knife and fork so you're you're delicately you're like always having a go at me for having really shaky hands but you've got this really funny technique where you just like so when you've got a knife and a fork you you like maneuver that cutter around the plate so quickly you're like scraping things around and putting like tiny tiny peas though delicate if it's moving stuff around quickly and no but quickly but like with the finesse and like and you like scrape like tiny bits of food from over there onto your fork and when it came to putting my plasters these like bandages on my back you were like there was a lot of patting down like very very quickly why did you do that well you had you've got stitches in your back so i was like i gotta let me first clean it and do the anti-back towel that thing and then i got some some some like um what do you call it gauze yeah yeah gauze padding and then i was like oh god i don't actually have like the proper tape so then i use plasters to go on the corners and i was padding those down like this like stroking them down and it's like in the crease of your shoulder blades blades so i was like i'm not sure if this is going to work and then we ended up just putting a regular plaster down i think i look like one of those old teddy bears that's had like its eye stitched on with a button 10 times honestly it was a bit ridiculous so i went and had a um a skin mapping consultation last week which was something that actually landed in my inbox um into my agent's inbox and they it was it was a kind of a comp i've been offered the same opportunity you have and it was very convenient because it was in chelsea not far from the uh chelsea westminster hospital actually i thought okay why not so i'll pop down and i thought i was just gonna have a quick chat and i lie down on the bed with this lady anyway she gets this microscope out and starts putting it over every single mole on my body which is good I've got a lot of them um and she sees three actually on the top of my back that don't look good she zoomed in on them took some pictures showed me on the screen and they were pretty asymmetrical um and they looked dodgy they were tiny actually so it's funny when it comes to moles it's not necessarily the ones that you think are going to get flagged that are the ones that are potentially dangerous.

8:26So I would have thought I've got some bigger ones, some that really stick out of my body that are pretty unattractive. And she was like, no, those are not a problem. I've got one on my boob that she then said you get with old age, which made me feel really hideous. She was like, no, it's more of like, it's not a wart. But she was like, oh no, it's... Oh my God, look who I am. Fucking Christ. She was like, no, this is fine. And that's, it's like not a skin tag, but basically you can just like shave it off or burn it off with a cream. Oh my God. No, between this and your Veruca too. Oh my God. No, fuck off.

9:04I don't have Veruca's. Yeah. So anyway, she had like a good old look. I learned a lot actually from this appointment. I spent the whole episode talking about this, but skin cancer is a lot more prevalent than anyone might know. It's really easily treated if it's caught early. and sort of I think between like 89 to 92 percent of melanoma cases which are the the dangerous ones are caused by uv light so really just sun exposure and it's not just being out in the sun it's actually being under any light during the day what are these spotlights um if they've got uv light in them then yes so I believe that those the kind of like nail machines and salons they've got uv light in obviously the sun has carries a lot of uv light you're gonna be you're now gonna have to wear a rash vest the whole time i am a vampire anyway but now i'm always going to apply factor 50 onto my hands my face my neck and my decolletage which is a word i really like saying what's a colletage decolletage what the hell is that it's this area your chest where your necklaces lie.

10:14Right, so is that like a market version of cleavage then? Well, I don't really have a big cleavage. You always call it a colletage. Is that what it's called? It's not a colletage, it's a décolletage. Have you heard of that before? Yeah, say it. Say it one more time. Décolletage. Décolletage. No, you haven't. Décolletage. It's probably French. Say it. Décolletage. I think it's got a little acute accent somewhere. So I'm going to be covering up. you cover up anyway i told you this on the podcast a few weeks ago you were the one person on the sunbeds in marbaya who was head to toe in two towels just your face poking out you already do cover the decolletage up i do cover decolletage um you'll use decolletage so unfortunately i guess for me like i've got quite a few risk factors for skin cancer awesome when i sat down she asked me these questions have you been sunburned more than five times in your life have you me um Um, no, but I can remember the times where I happened.

11:14I don't believe you. No. You mean like proper sunburn? Yeah. I told you before. One time my granddad on the beach in pool or somewhere, when we were kids, he fell asleep and we were kids making sandcastles, burying each other and whatever else. And I came back with like pink legs because I got sunburned. And the other time was in Australia when I got that overcast day in Airlie Beach in Cairns or somewhere like that. And I just assumed that I was safe. and I actually blistered on my face, as in bobbly blisters on my face and back. It was the worst. That's probably what's caused the sun damage on your face.

11:49Oh, 100 % damage. I never had this freckle. This one's now actually gone, thanks to my new regimes. New lotions and potions. My new regimes. So it's really damaging. When I was younger, we used to go away practically on tan parties. That was what a holiday was. We used to do a thing called burn and then turn. we'd literally burn almost on purpose and then use a cream called biofine which is like a a medical cream that's used for intense burns that then turns your skin darker brown i mean that is and we'd put carrot oil on our tummies and we'd do tanning competitions and that explains your skin then well no i also think i've got the genetic um mole situation which is a thing so i guess like you know a white person has white skin a black person has black skin the moles are it's in my dna so they haven't just come out because of sun exposure it's it's my coloring it's like you know i am i've got pale skin with black circles on me and that's not just because i've been in sun so leo has never really been in the sun and he's always got a high factor on his skin and he's got a couple of moles that have come through which will be a genetic thing versus a sun damage thing the other risk factors are i'm actually on an immunosuppressant which can increase the risk of skin cancer which they never told me like verbally when i was prescribed it which apparently is is not a great practice they should really say that um and then what are the other things i think largely like sun beds sun beds increase your risk hugely so basically back in the day when some of those fake tan and the rash vests for you then or even a wetsuit and i guess actually i did write something down because i do i think that for she actually the lady was very kind and she said that you should go in too because you've got lots of freckles as well and we should really be going yearly and i spoke about it publicly on my tiktok page and someone actually replied to me and said that if you've got over 100 moles on your body that you have a specific condition.

14:02Shall I actually see if they've replied? It's called atypical mole syndrome. It's important to know if you have more than 100 moles on your body, you may have that condition. I think I've got several, several hundred. I've probably got a thousand, to be honest. What? I do. And then one of the things that this lady taught me, which I did write down because I just wanted to get this bit off my chest because then I feel like I'm doing doing good is if you do have have mails in your body and you want to kind of keep an eye on them there's a rule which is the ABCDE rule which is pretty easy to remember and it's melanoma which is probably the most intense kind of skin cancer so there are three kinds really basal cell squamous cell carcinomas and then melanomas melanomas are the ones that can spread the most quickly to other organs um and the abcde rule stands for asymmetry border irregularity color variation diameter and evolving or changing and i did have three removed and i wasn't preparing for that i didn't enjoy it it's definitely better to be safe i've got two week wait now while the biopsies are happening and she's going to let me know when i go back in anyway to have the stitches taken out good but yeah i'll be taking an awful lot of care now whenever i'm outside even if you're hanging your arm out of the window in a car i think it's important to be super safe with these kinds of things and actually also i know that people take this out of me for wearing a baseball cap and looking like a child when i'm on holiday but you can get it on your head as well what a mole yeah actually my brother's got a big mole on his head i remember it being something that was flagged i say big sorry that makes it sound a little unusual but i remember he had a roll on his head as we were growing up god the allure of the thompsons is quickly wearing off on this episode oh my god well last weekend you decided that you had married into the wrong family last weekend what was last weekend it's in the weekend that we just had a few days ago oh bloody hell yeah do you think you have adhd no i've just got trauma from you lot but you felt really overstimulated you had to actually leave everyone in my family and come and sit in a separate room for 10 minutes that's not adhd that's just taking a time out any normal person would do the same thing it wasn't actually that funny when my dad was cleaning up so quickly that he cut his hands five times they'll sink them down to a blood part and then a knife ends up face like down in the floor like a massive carving knife just slipped out of his hands wedged into the woodwork there's a lot going on on that sunday a lot going on so that sunday if you want to use that as the example that's a good segue into another thing we could talk about around listening because i feel like the thompsons are not the best listeners in general i think i think what they're very good at is just broadcasting broadcasting their own personal messages so when you've got your dad in the room your brother you and obviously little leo's got a little bit of that thompson gene in him as well no one's listening to absolutely anything anyone else has got to say everyone's just waiting for their turn to entertain the room and everyone does it very well but it's chaotic to watch it's funny at times other times i'm like get me out of this room because that's when i came in here with my bowl bowl of ice cream and berries i was like just give me two minutes just give me two minutes i thought that you might have had quite a relaxed day because you didn't have to do the cooking or the cleaning up for a change and you were quite passive you're a bit of a passenger you were just sat there loading your plate full of food that had been cooked for you so the fact that you even found it too much you had to leave the room no no no no you know it was you know it was a lot you're very much in it so you don't see it but it's fine this it's uh it's entertaining i mean it's better to be memorable than not in between your dad dancing around to barry white barry white with carving knives and whatever else and then you've got sam trying to film me doing a nonchalant frog sound at the dinner table and i'm like where's that idea come from i know i'm trying to have lunch and you you want me to look down the camera and go rub it in like a flirty way i'm like i I get it.

18:32What is that? I don't know. What he was saying, could be a nonchalant, flirty animal and make a noise? Anyway, to, to date this, to, to thread this to Leo, it's really interesting because he's now in preschool, the final room at nursery before he goes on to big school in 26, 2026. And his teachers, when I pick him up, they often say, they actually say they have to be, to be truthful. They say he's doing really well and he's getting a lot better at, um, sort of the self play and the sharing and the listening to instructions. And that's the key point. he's getting much better at listening um and i think that this should be a heavy emphasis in school because it's a real skill to listen in a conversation even with small people the coolest thing about that happened last week re leo was that you came back and said that he'd had the best day he's ever had and that his focus is getting really good and that he started doing these puzzles we do lots of jigsaw puzzles yeah which feels like a really fun activity to do because you get that like huge like surge of dopamine when you finish it and that sense of achievement um so we love puzzles in this household but he started doing the puzzles and he would do them um over and again and he then found a sand timer in the corner of the classroom and started timing himself to see whether he could do the puzzles more quickly than the last time it's wild that isn't it so when you came home and told me that that's the first time i felt like one of those really cringy parents that wants to share something about their kids achievements to other people and then i had visions of him like doing chess at school have you not seen the video of him doing it at school yeah i watched it with him last night and then he wanted to watch it again and again super cute anyway back to listening well no i just think no clearly not good example um listening is a skill and leo having 50 of you and him he's going to have uh the urgency and conversation to chime in but i think um what his nursery is doing really well and jujitsu even though we haven't been for quite a long time it really forces them to listen carefully because conscious listening really creates that understanding in situations and you could extrapolate that to adult life and further into conflict around the world but without properly listening to people in conversation there's so much that's missed and i'm now doing these letters to leo weekly this morning i actually published my third my third letter uh i'm not using sub stack i'm using something else but i've got like 70 subscribers now which is kind of cute yeah cool this is your newsletter i'll put the link in show notes um yeah i'm using that as a chance to like you know just from my perspective write a letter to leo which i am sharing publicly but it's all addressed to leo uh and it's a little bit of maybe a bit more insight into ryan versus like shared parents and i'm just giving i'm giving advice in different uh ways basically i think that that's the cutest thing thanks that you've ever done that's why I was up this morning I did actually read one of them yeah you did yeah well there's three that I've published I've written six but three have gone out you never quite know how it's been received because it's a sort of newsletter that arrives in people's inbox so it's a one-way train yeah you can see the sort of open what do you call it like the open rates you can probably see the retention rate you'll be able to see how long people have spent reading them yeah you can i mean it's starting off small but it feels very nice to do it and actually it's coming to me very easily at what age do you think you will i said that in that letter i'm not sure what age you'll read this but i actually linked in something about us potentially expanding the family i was like you might even be reading this to your future sibling who knows wow so it's that kind of dialogue but wrapped in within that letter there is a little bit of advice or maybe insight from me to other parents it's a very cool thing to do yeah it feels cool um i'm gonna i'm gonna really put a lot of focus into that it feels like it's a at times it's like is anyone gonna read this you know and is one lesser a week enough you never quite know what the formula is but if it feels good then just do it i think um i feel like that's probably how most really successful blogs have started yeah you've got to start small haven't you and very authentic yeah it's a bit like this podcaster we start this podcast in the kitchen we never thought that we'd get like however many thousand downloads each week and now we are and it's the same maybe it's going to be the same maybe chloe guard chloe chloe kardashian maybe the kardashian will subscribe to my maybe the whole family will subscribe to leo uh letters i can't speak today letters to leo love that anyway so what I'm trying to arrive at with this whole listening thing I've got an acronym okay I know that you've dropped an acronym already but I've got one of my own nice and it's something that people can um because I guess I guess the there is a bit of a uh synchronicity with this whole uh topic of listening within this podcast right we're trying to uh support and facilitate and encourage good conversation in relationships friendships at home at the workplace so listening is very key to that and an acronym you can take away with you is um r-a-s-a and it stands for receive appreciate summarize and ask so receive so you're kind of looking towards me you're giving me the body language that you're that you're listening appreciate is when you give it like that you just did actually when you go and just give me any signal to say that you're like following the the the trail of this conversation um summarize is a good way so you know when people say okay so in a conversation so i do it all the time feed it back yeah so someone was telling me about this interview they had with a potential recruiter for a job and i was like all right so what i'm getting from this conversation so far is they want you to do it and i was like are you so so much are you so an awful lot in conversation but it's a good way of summarizing what someone's told you because when you when you give it back to someone they're like you really are listening this is great and then to back that even up even further this is when i start scratching my head because i'm into this you ask questions you ask questions okay so if anyone wants to uh maybe pass this episode to boyfriend girlfriend brother mum dad and be like i wish this guy girl would listen better yes r-a-s-a receive appreciate summarize ask think about that i think we need to literally land that clip into mike thompson's inbox never gonna work sam thompson's inbox no do you know what i thought about this in the shower this morning this is kind of weird but i was like god me and sam get on so well these days like he's become a real brother and i mean that and i'm like what is that what has actually changed so tremendously like moving away from all of the like stuff that's happened in the family and it's because he listens it's no longer a one-way channel of like um noise with us he doesn't just talk at me he genuinely asks me questions and i will uh and i will and it's just become such a different relationship so honestly there you go i think i think that acronym is great let me check that you were listening what is it what's the acronym asmr no i'm joking a ask no wait sorry sorry hang on acknowledge no wait oh god this is going terribly i'm gonna have to ask the audience no no no i need to get it okay i know the last one is ask a question i know that the second last one is our repeat no it's not repetition you are you're like summarize sorry it's summarize the second last one because you're summarizing it back to them yeah so acknowledge is the okay so is appreciate is the first one is the nodding the heads and the first one is oh listen what's the first one charlie knows

26:58so wait so just to just to um summarize that for you right that's rasa i was gonna say repeat it's receive or asa appreciate summarize ask nice yeah okay let's put that into practice so i really think that listening is an important skill i think that leo should continue to be taught that skill at school and actually as a parent at least from my side i'm going to really emphasize that skill because social media media in general the way people are these days it's very bold and big and people are grabbing for attention there's so much subtle detail and understated stuff that we miss because we're not listening properly and i just think the the greatest relationships i have with people in different walks of life is built on can they will they do they listen to me and actually you could say that about a relationship you probably feel most uh comfortable loved and secure when you know that i've heard you and i've listened to you so many you know so many people move so quickly through this world currently it feels and this leads me on to something that hit the press with this charlie kirk shooting in utah utah valley campus university campus i watched this clip by myself and honestly as i told you sat on that sofa there it was the single most scary thing i've seen in real life i know you came you actually came and found me in the house and said i've just seen something that's shaken me up more than anything else i've ever seen which i was quite surprised by actually because you watch a lot of very gruesome movies and series well when you say gruesome you mean just like action packed like people getting shot blood guts gore you've also seen me in hospital with pipes coming out of my butt and my abdomen and and all sorts and what was it about this clip then that really shook you to the core.

28:59I think what I saw from you was more painful. This was more scary. Do you know what's scary about that is that that is on the internet. So before things like social media, the press basically were the ones responsible for what was shared. And there would be certain things that would be protected. Or as in we would be protected from. The fact that that's on YouTube and there'll be people's kids that are out there on YouTube that might stumble across that is pretty shocking. But that does make me think, who was filming? I suppose people in the auditorium would have been filming the lecture because that's what people do now to probably record the conversation.

29:40And he was quite a big political figure, right? Yeah, he was. I pulled some research on him because I actually don't know too much about this chappy. All I really could connect with that he was the father of two and this guy's been shot in broad daylight on a university campus because he just had some opinions that weren't well received or listened to or really allowed to be in existence. An American conservative political activist, author and media personality, he's had the greatest impact with mobilizing the youth and molding younger generations who vote into the conservative party, which is Trump's kind of game, right?

30:17So he speaks to these younger generations, and that's why he's often seen at schools or universities or colleges. he's become a bit of a public figure if you like so i suppose what's interesting is he wouldn't have had because he's not a politician right he wouldn't have have the security that someone like trump will have i think the thing that i got from you when we spoke about it was that you were really upset because he had two young kids yeah so it felt but it just looked like it could have been you it just looked like it could have yes it looked like it could have been anyone it looked so easy and it happened in such a public open space it was just completely shocking to see that that can actually happen and like you say the laws and gun laws in america is just i will never understand it really well i can because we've had we've touched on this conversation before but america is such a sprawling land and obviously you know lots of farms and ranches and hunting as a sport is one thing but what you've got now is just no regulation you've got people who behave so disgustingly people don't listen to each other in america but the world in general so you can't have an opinion because no one's really listening all people are doing is just broadcasting their own beliefs in such an aggressive way and people people would say this about charlie kirk as well they would say you know he's he's he's fueling polarization which is like separating society depending on what your opinions or beliefs are.

31:47It all felt too real and too easy and too close to home somehow. And I know that sounds strange because I have no idea who this chap is. And it's in America. Well, the person who this chap is has obviously done this in an auditorium with people filming because they want it broadcasted so that people like us can talk about it. Well, that's the whole idea of rallying voters. But I mean, there are 123 people that are shot in the US every day anyway. And that is a significant number. I mean actually I think around half of that is it's more than that it's more like 300 in the US every day. Really? Yeah I do think having access to guns that liberally is absolutely ridiculous in some states there's no legislation at all anybody can go in and buy a gun and have it in their arms that same day.

32:39Can you imagine if that was the case in this country? Well, I know people, I know people, I know two blokes who've got gun cabinets at home in London. In London? Yeah. But it takes a lot to get to that point. You've got to be vetted by the police. You've got to show different licenses. You've got to have checks on security in your home. You've got to have a psyche test. You've got to have so much signed off. But they're shotguns, right? For shooting animals. Well, even just clays, but yeah, pigeons or... So in this country, you're not allowed to have, what is it, pistols? What's a little hand, like those little, like a...

33:132-2 rifle. A rifle. Would it stop you from moving to America? It would now. Because I know quite a lot of people who are moving at the moment because they're not happy with the state of politics in this country. And they feel like the UK is changing too much and also the tax is too high. So I know a lot of people that are moving. I know some people that are moving to San Francisco. I know some people that are moving to New York. I have lots of friends that live in other countries internationally, whether it's Mexico or Singapore or Italy, Portugal, various different places, we can come on to that in a second.

33:42New York happens to actually be one of the states with the lowest gun crime. They do have tighter laws on it. And that is probably the one place that I would move to in the States. So perhaps that's a slightly safer place to move to.

34:01I saw something on social media recently. it was interestingly it was it was one from california and one from sydney and both places at some point in my life i've always thought not always at some point in my life i've thought i could perhaps set a life up there that kind of seems to be pretty ryan and in actual facts what you've got is you've got crazy people in california going up runyon canyon which is where we got engaged and they just set fires and you've got all these um people hiking running walking up the canyon being like what in god's name are you doing you've just set a fire this could easily spread to the to the homes above in the hills and this could wipe out more of our beautiful part of the world what is completely mental this guy gets arrested they contain the fire but it's not an easy job there's like six trucks there's helicopters dropping water so america to me at least the parts that i know and i'm drawn to is not what i thought it was and that's because that's become like an increasingly more obvious realization and when i see dads who are just exercising their free speech and let's be real i don't really know what i don't know what you're about i don't listen to these things i don't the amount i i consume such little in the way of world news but for that reason i don't have a strong opinion about this i can only speak from a sort of humanitarian kind of perspective like what's right and wrong what's good and evil it's fucking evil this guy got shot in the neck and bled out and died instantly on the scene the other clip i saw was some person in australia i've been to australia i actually used to live in australia when we were kids.

35:48Apparently people are now leaving the country at the drop of a hat because it's like the most heavily taxed place in the world. In Australia? Yeah. So where would I want to move to? I have no idea, but it's not what I thought it was once upon a time. I think it's the same with everything in life is that there are pros and cons of everything and that there's no perfect place to live. I mean, I've researched it a little bit. I think I do know people that are moving to Dubai for me the culture there is just so um different to ours that I'm not sure I could adapt to that it's also 40 degrees regularly no I just wouldn't move to Dubai there are obviously quite strict like rules and regulations on things like drinking and smoking not smoking but alcohol consumption and also clothing and actually I learned that I think 90 % of the population in Dubai are international.

36:45How interesting is that? Not really because it's a tax haven. Oh, well, they obviously do that to then attract all of the international people to live there. No, it's not the place for me. I can tell you it's not the place for you as well. I also think it's whilst it is a tax haven. Oh, sorry. Tax haven sounds really dramatic, doesn't it? There's very low tax. It's very expensive to actually live well when you're there. if you want to eat out and you want to travel by car and you want to, you know, do whatever you want to do. I then thought about South Africa, obviously, because I used to have some ties there.

37:18Members of my family had, well, actually, I spent a lot of time in South Africa growing up. It's relatively affordable comparatively to the UK. The childcare is amazing. The nanny system is amazing. It's obviously got a great climate. you've got the beach like the food's incredible the but is that it's really dangerous still so unless you've got a private gate outside your house and you've got a chauffeur like people can't really leave after dark because the crime is so out of control because the the value of life there is a lot lower than the value of life here so you're at risk of of that and then also there are things like the infrastructure is not as good so there'll be regular power cuts there's also water shortages you yeah i don't know i know people that did move there actually when i was a child my my brother and i were when my family were staying at my aunt's house which was um out kind of on a vineyard and there was a um someone came and tried to burn down the house when my parents and all of the adults were out for dinner and we had a nanny looking after us and they set fire to the curtains in the house and the majority of the house actually burnt down.

38:39And that's the sort of thing that you could be dealing with much more regularly than here. Well, it does make you think a little bit differently. Like at least we're safe here and like our NHS isn't completely flawed. You know, there is a public health service, although that's all changing. There is good education. And it makes you question whether it's just worth paying the tax for. There are some funny old new policies in Italy, I think, where if you're a really high income earner, the tax is capped at 100 ,000 euros, perhaps. So that's very attractive for a lot of people. I mean if you're looking at that like you've got to be earning enough money for that to then be like a sort of cheap amount of tax to be paying comparatively to here so people are moving there Portugal has benefits um where else do people move I don't know I think Switzerland's nice it's clean it's safe Jersey Jersey so a few of our friends we were speaking to on the weekend about this that wasn't friends that was my family okay well they're also our friends friends and family yes just my biological brother he's our friend well their best friends live have moved to jersey haven't they we know some nursery friends that live in jersey my answer to your question was where i once thought that i would maybe take a shot at a new life it would be in those but it just wouldn't be the case now well i would never go to australia it's way too far away Like I couldn't be that far away from my family.

40:15Yeah, fair enough. Could you? Your mum would be devastated. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't know if I could go to Australia, but I feel like I could step away from life here and go somewhere new. Maybe I've become so accustomed to that from life in the military or at least family life in the military. I'll tell you this, though. I'm going to Sweden in a few weeks with a brand I work with, Tule. Big ups. And I'm going to Malmo, which is in the southern part of Sweden. I've only ever been to Stockholm once with you. That's more northern territory. And that's quite close to Finland, up there in the northern part of Sweden.

40:56So I'm going to be down here in a place called Malmo. Across the way is Denmark, Copenhagen. Can I go to Copenhagen whilst I'm there? I'm quite keen to maybe extend my trip for a day. Sure. But the reason I mention those countries, those Scandi countries, is that they are very often voted as best quality of life, specifically Denmark and Norway. But then you always say the same thing about, but aren't they like dark? It's not really dark for like 70 % of the year. I could not live in the dark. Places that are north of the Arctic Circle, so like northern Finland, northern Sweden, at certain times in the year, don't see sun, yes.

41:41how would you be able to handle that oh no not very well that can't be good for your mental health though we all need although maybe if i'm going to be a vampire now that actually works quite well i bet they have low rates of skin cancer oh yeah oh yeah also there were those viral videos that went around probably like a year or so ago with all of the mums leaving their kids in prams outside shops because it's that safe they could just leave their kids to sleep in the outdoors but they do a lot of things which is mental or outside libraries and things i would never be able to do that imagine just leaving leo in a pram outside the front any takers no i know you'd get kidnapped in a second but doesn't that doesn't that speak volumes to just their culture and what sort of people they are i think it's amazing actually the safest places live apparently ireland's very safe do you know what i've got i've got limited iceland we just take ourselves after the middle of nowhere.

42:36Did you see Iceland? Yeah. Well, yeah, for sure. Geography field trip. I'm excited to go to Sweden. How long are you going for? Well, maybe an extra day now you've given the green light for Copenhagen. I don't think that you're... Do you like travelling on your own? Have you done much travelling on your own? No, I haven't, but I'm up for it. I just want... I mean, I actually read a book, The Scandi Way to Parent or something like that, and it was touching on all these things that you've just mentioned. I want to see it in play. segue on to helicopter or hummingbirds you're a helicopter mate i can tell you what you want to talk about helicopter parenting and hummingbird parenting well i mentioned this is the concept that i have brought into the household oh well done what are you because i'm a professor thompson well i'm glad that you've admitted it because you are i'm kidding no no you are you're a helicopter why don't we go into the analogies then so there are two different kinds parenting helicopter parenting is noisy it's controlling it's circling closely it's like a helicopter on a mission to find a baddie like it's it's constantly looking out for danger and it's it's louise thompson it's okay that's actually not fair hang on we can joke about this i am actually an incredible mother oh this is all down to how you perceive this information i didn't see i didn't what you just said isn't a bad thing it's just your style you do look out for danger you are always on overwatch you don't really let go and let him free play in some situations in some you do you're a very like eyes on hands on i give him a lot of yeah i'm attentive i'm attentive no but this is you don't have to be defensive about this you are a helicopter parent i wouldn't say you're a hummingbird parent once a hummingbird is a lot quieter so you just you a hummingbird's obviously the preferable parenting style guys if we're comparing a hummingbird is quiet they still watch on they're fluttering above like a cute little bird whizzing around and they're ready to step in and eat the worm when they need to you're showing insecurity it's down to perception of this hummingbird i'm not saying hummingbirds better no i think hummingbird is better but again like parenting isn't like oh you should be like this or like you as a female and as a mother have your natural instincts and your way of parenting it's always going to be different to the father because we're biologically programmed differently so that's true yeah so you know if i'm going to sit here and say i'm more of a hummingbird that's not me trying to win this debate no i know that's just because i know that i'm actually i i've just cycled him to nursery you would have shat yourself about 15 times knowing that he's riding a bike on a pavement where you've got other cyclists scooters you got traffic coming at you when we crossed the road i mean i won't i won't tell you but nothing happened tell me because you're gonna tell me well no nothing really happened but the point is if you were there you would have reacted in a very different way but you just said nothing really happened so what did happen no okay well i can i can pluck something from recent weeks uh a car as we crossed the central part of the road a car um saw me didn't break quick enough then saw him then broke hard so it was like a double take it's like oh there's a kid there whap i'll put the brakes on but it wasn't close it was just i know the driver knew that i clocked his reaction to it because he saw me and he's like oh that dude can wait then he saw the little bike come out and it was pumped the brakes hard now if you were there you would have got very scared which i'm not saying is wrong i just said i acknowledged it i thank you i said leo we can go nothing and a situation didn't become a situation if that makes sense and that's why i would say i'm a hummingbird yeah i i don't like to even think about the idea of my son right there you go because i'm very protective but i think it's important for him to have both because he knows he needs to know the risks of dangerous things out there in the world but don't dispute that you're super relaxed i don't dispute that but we meet in the middle quite right but that's what a child needs you need to take best of both you need a bit of that then that in there i guess if you're a parent that's listening you're probably going to go away and google what a hummingbird and a helicopter parent are and then figure out where you sit on that spectrum because it is quite important to know isn't it like you you need to give your child independence but not too much like i have friends growing up whose parents were incredibly controlling they had to learn several languages they had violin lessons after school every evening they did something called suzuki which is like this really full-on like specialist violin practice and i think actually for like half of the children in their family it paid off and for the other half then they ran a mile and went completely the other way like sometimes it can cause rebellion i think what I was very lucky because my parents gave me all the tools I needed to choose to do whatever I wanted.

47:44I had lots of opportunity to try lots of different things. I wasn't pushed into anything. And they did let me learn from my own mistakes. But then again, you know, and I wrote about this in my book, like one of the things that I held over them as bad parenting as I got older and started doing therapy and working with a life coach was that I thought that they should have cared more when I was out drinking and partying. partying a lot and I wanted someone to be um boundaried when it came to that I wanted like a firm set of hands to kind of like hold over me I wanted someone to grab my hand take me and steer me in a different direction say no you cannot do that and I kind of like pushed to get that and I didn't get it I just yeah I didn't really challenge my parents in that way and I guess I was fortunate that my parents stayed together as a couple were your parents quite controlling like did they tell you what you needed to do were they quite firm with you or were they pretty did they let you be independent and make your own mistakes and i had boundaries so that was equal parts of my mum and dad i also imagine though that your mum would have been very sensitive and she would have been very is it risk averse she would have been warrior she was a warrior so she would have been very worried about you getting into trouble or danger yeah of course it's i think it's good to have a mixture then you end up with a balanced child you don't want two panic parents and you don't want two kind of super relaxed parents yeah works well for us yeah well i hope you guys have enjoyed this episode i've spoken about a lot of random things there i really enjoyed the uh listening bit i'm gonna take that away with me do you remember it and remember to check your moles thanks very much cheerio Thank you.