The most savage DMs we’ve ever received…

0:01Hello guys, welcome back to the AUA episode with Louise and myself. Did you just fart? No. That would be pretty brave, actually, on a podcast to do that. Who's the question master this week then? We've got a lot of questions. We're having some nosy insights. Do we need to have like question masters? Do we need to? We're not like on a quiz show. Actually, on the note of quiz shows. Who wants to be a millionaire? It's my favorite one. It is. I feel like I keep crossing paths with Jeremy Clarkson. Nice name drop, bro.

0:37anytime someone says Robbie Williams she's like oh I actually know I'm sorry I know I name dropping what I will do though is what I'll say is I think M Clarkson his daughter is brilliant on social media okay so like slightly different to a game show but if you had to do a TED talk with no preparation what would you talk about uh okay well I would just talk about the things that I'm really interested in the stuff that I end up scratching my head over because i'm into it is it annoying you can't scratch your head because you've got a little bit let's get this hat off so i can scratch it okay oh yeah i would talk about how to listen and communicate in body language the good thing about an aua is that no one can see you so you look absolutely mental right now with your hair it is flat on your head okay yeah so wait what are you doing you're talking on things you're interested in well no not just things because i wouldn't i wouldn't go up there and talk about two-layer root tense you could do well let's let's why don't you tell everyone what you're talking about and then we'll get people to comment when the pod comes out whether they would go to your ted talk i would like to do it on how to listen in conversation versus just waiting for your time to talk so people could just listen to this podcast if they wanted that ted talk i gave snippets of it over yeah but i would i would i would go deeper i'd go wider i'd probably go on a real wild goose chase and a tangent with it but i'd bring in things like body language and reading a room and influence of others and impact of environments and all that sort of stuff but i actually think that you should write yourself a presentation on this and do a ted talk okay can we set you a goal for 2026 right now that could be cool would you ever do would you ever go back to school or uni or do a course or a master class on what on that as in teach students we have you ever do you know what masterclass is i do would you ever choose a topic that you want to learn more about and go like deep diving into it yes maybe even get a cheeky qualification become a bit of an expert and then do something like that yes i think it's good to do at one point in one's life isn't it hone in on a an area or a skill i guess for you the fitness thing as sort of was the origin you knew an awful lot about that but your interest might have changed a little bit I knew the I knew the basic stuff of strength and conditioning and nutrition I knew enough to get by in that industry but I've said it before my interaction with people is what made me good at my job in that sense okay and actually you're listening oh mate I became much more than just a trainer for people and that was reflected in the type of clients i had at one point you know i was just an agony aunt i was just a listener someone that they could come in and just dump their stuff on and i'd listen so that was really where your strength lay would you ever be a therapist then yeah i would if i if i could shut down all other operations and projects and not worry about that's gonna be an awful noise that's it oh it's a bit like your voice then i've been told i've got a really calming relax if i won the lottery and i didn't have to worry about money i could quite easily build a nice little studio space and spend time chatting to people and connecting yeah i could do that maybe i will do that maybe i will well before you actually can be a proper therapist you need to get some calls.

4:21Oh, I've been schooled in the walks of life. All right. Why is your eyebrow talking to me? What was it doing? Your right eyebrow just raised three times. Because I've got, my right eyebrow has a life of its own. You just did it three times. I did not do that. Do not do that. That's really giving me the ick. You just did it to me. And did that give you the ick of it? Well, yeah. I was like, what are you doing? Why did that just happen? That's a bit strange. God, I can't remember. It's actually, I used to really feel quite self-conscious about my eyebrows on me in Chelsea. If I'd ever watch it back, I really would because I didn't want to give myself any issues.

5:01I didn't want to feel rubbish about myself. Anyway, so you're doing a TED Talk on listening. The art of conversation, let's call it. Yeah, nice. That's actually quite good. How to Have a Proper Conversation by Ryan Libby. I'm going to go with the art of a... Okay. conversation i'd like to see that drafted up in a month's time please ted talks yeah ryan libby do you think you'd have the confidence to get on stage and do that yeah i do now do you yeah that's so cool then you should absolutely seize that opportunity if anyone's if anyone's listening to this and can get me into ted talk i know people that are head up live talk divisions within agencies i could introduce you to sign me up i'm there because i had a bit of a dabble with that so when I if this question was well this question is coming to you so here you go I did a bit of public speaking I've been on a few panel talks talking about my experience I remember I did a talk for JP Morgan on grit the topic of grit and actually it's interesting because at the time when the questions came through I found myself quite frustrated because I didn't identify with the word grit at all but fast forward a year later it's crazy what you learn every year following a traumatic event you just keep like expanding i think your knowledge and experience on trauma and now if i was asked to do that talk i would go into it much more excited to do it because i have a lot to say so what's your ted talk called maybe i'm pulling it grit grits by louise thompson it's an attribute isn't it so you're doing the other position stop twitching your eyebrows what would i do on um well no you just told me i think i would enjoy writing a piece on oh it might be how things you should know about birth for dummies okay watch this space guys next question what's a question you wish people would stop asking you and what do you wish they'd ask instead hmm i guess this is not really relevant for now but going back a few years if we were stopped if i was stopped in public because of some sense of recognition people would say how's louise and they would never say how are you and that for a while really used to bug me not because i wanted the recognition but if you're going to stop me i have the courtesy to say to say how are you i agree so that used to really get under my skin understandably but that's not really relevant uh no it is so the question should be how are you no it's not really relevant for today it doesn't really happen so much today okay well because i'm a successful podcast host what about you what's one thing that people i think quite a few people have asked so when are you having another baby or are you going to have another baby oh come off it you love that conversation only if the person is really close to me not if it's someone on social media that i've never met before i think i again like similarly to you it's a question that actually hasn't been asked in a while but i did for quite a long time get asked whether we were going to expand our family in a public arena so either on podcast interviews or when i did news segments and that kind of thing i think it's pretty ballsy to ask that question to somebody who's been through a birth trauma and potentially can't carry their own children i don't think maybe i'd rather be asked what's a dream that you're working towards outside of motherhood what are the things you're working on should i ask you that now what you're dreaming of outside of motherhood what shall i ask you how are you how are you and louise you can ask me how i am yes no i have lots of dreams outside motherhood it's very depends on the context of the the wider conversation i think why don't you give us just a bullet point answer three things you dream of outside motherhood okay um i i'm actually very excited about potentially creating a pyjama line that's comfortable for no we don't need the extra fluff so creating a people everybody people have got funny things attached to their tummies and tummies yes yeah and all sorts and scars and people that don't like to look super glamorous all the time which as we've learned through this podcast i don't well hang on you're talking more than just sleeping with jays here though just talking about like really comfortable things but leisure wear not really to be honest there's so much leisure wear out there athleisure isn't it leisure so i want to do pajamas that are but that you could probably leave the house in so yeah maybe leaning into the leisure the athleisure market all right things that make people feel good number two dream number two dream number two crikey ryan um gosh dreams dream big well okay i would really like to I'll flesh this out when we've got more time I'd like to get into Wes Streeting's office he's the health secretary number three I'd like to have a conversation with him dream number three would be to live in the Hamptons oh yeah live in the Hamptons we're now watching Summer I Turn Pretty which we've told people about before and while I was speaking who was I speaking to about this yesterday basically every good show is set in the Hamptons I dabbled I had a little Hamptons life before I met you Ryan my ex had a place in the Hamptons and it was quite marvellous it's very pretty and you go and drive to like your little local shop and they just got very overpriced delicious American baked goods sounds just like Fulham very fucking wholesome sounds just like yeah but you've also got the sea and you've also got space right well maybe i can connect you with chloe kardashian she can take you there maybe that would be a lovely idea or we have probably friends that might be slightly more accessible um what are your three dreams write a series of children's books yeah start a podcast of my own where i speak to men meow no not really just a different space and do a ted talk about communication okay fab

11:41okay two more questions this is actually quite a funny question that's been submitted by you guys what's the most savage dm we've ever had about an episode about an episode yeah or actually it could be a savage dm that you've just received in general i did a bit of a i had a little bit of a look. Unlistenable. She interrupts too much. That's pretty brutal. That's brutal. He thinks he's funny. Oh my God. Do they even like each other? Oh my God, Ryan, do you even like me? I don't know.

12:26Maybe we don't. Oh my God. Imagine if this was the cause of our demise imagine if we broke up all they do is this is actually priceless oh my god i love this game all they do is complain about being parents get a babysitter well then you haven't been listening if that's what they're saying that's what i'd say back to that i'm not complaining about being a parent i'm giving you an honest account and i'm letting you know how i'm going on the journey that's not a complaint i think ryan i've actually i haven't seen you at this serious in a while so I think we better wrap that one up there. We've got a last question though.

13:02Ryan, do you think it's acceptable for couples to sleep in a different bed? Well, there's context that needs to be applied and it depends on the situation. Generally speaking, I don't know. I mean, sure, sure. It's a bit weird. If my parents were sleeping in different rooms, I'd be like, should I be worried about that? Oh, you might be like, so you're worried that Liam might be like, why are mummy and daddy not sleeping in the same bedroom? He might be a bit upset. But then if the context or the situation is, oh, it's 4am and daddy's walking away from mummy's bed and sleeping in this bare bedroom, which is me most nights.

13:38I think that's all right because it's like, I don't know. There's too many potentials and dependables on this. I guess sleep is basically survival, isn't it? So if you need to get a good night's sleep and you want to be in a separate room, then fine. it does actually romance is killed through sleep deprivation I'll put it let me put it to you this way you're going to Estelle tomorrow night you're probably looking forward to having a double bed to yourself and if you are ride on because you should be excited about that thank you for reminding me about that that's going to be are you excited for me to go away well that's a slightly different question I'm just talking about you being excited for a double bed are you excited to have the bed to yourself yes are you going to let Leo in your bed yes will you let the dogs in the bed no No.

14:24In the bedroom, sure, but not in the bed. What happens if they creep up in the night and they just hop on at the end of the bed? If I'm asleep, anyone can hop into my bed. Oh God, that's a bit worrying. What about the fucking burglar that rang the doorbell at 4am a few nights ago? Right. Right. The burglar dropping off a delivery for you so you could shoot a branded video in the morning. Who answered the door on his pants and a baseball bat? Me. At 4am. That was really offensive. mate I opened the door and I was like what the fuck mate delivery at 4am actually elite though but that's because we forgot it's not elite at all it was delicious though getting food and supplies delivered at that hour in the morning no I nearly num chucked that guy to be fair burglar wouldn't ring on the doorbell but I was drifting in and out of consciousness for the next hour thinking I think Ryan's been kidnapped but I didn't do anything about it because you didn't come back up to bed.

15:23And I really believed then that you'd been like taken care of. Well, thanks for coming to rescue me then. Jeez. I was a bit scared. I was so tired though. Like I couldn't actually drag myself up to check. And I also couldn't shout your name. And then at one point I was like, but wait, why are the dogs still in here? Why have they not gone and checked on Ryan? Maybe we've all been drugged. Oh no. who's more dramatic when they're ill? Well, you're probably writing a eulogy when you're day two of a cold.

16:01What I'd say is, what I'd say, what I'd say is this, all right. I don't get ill that often, but when I get ill, it hits me hard for 28, 28, 24, 48 hours. And I probably do complain. I probably do let you know about it, but it happens like twice a year. you get something every two weeks i think i'm quite stoic so i don't really talk about my i never share them publicly i think we're actually i think we're both quite i don't know i don't think we're too dramatic i think we're quite fair i think you're quite dramatic i'm not i'm actually not last one it's a big one would you ever be in a polyamorous relationship I have no idea what that even means what is a polyamorous relationship I'll give you a bit of context when I was filming Made in Chelsea in New York the producers decided to set Rosie up with a guy she went on a date with him and he basically I think on the second or third date he confessed that he was polyamorous and she lost her shit she was so angry introduction i have zero because polyamorous is basically means you're in serious relationship with multi-people multi-people multiple people poly polyamorous many loves many romantic relationships no no no i couldn't do that do you think you could ever do that is this an invite yeah actually potentially if it's an invite like what is this something you begin to do no if it could work like if i was relaxed about it what do you think you could do it no no no why just morally wouldn't align with me okay it's a good start i actually don't know how people would have time to be in multiple relationships like how it's quite hard work being in one relationship just keeping it alive you know keeping it going and then when you throw more into the mix like that's that's a lot of responding to isn't it it's a lot of replying to texts a lot of picking up the phone it's a lot of date nights and also I don't think I don't know how you could really love two people or more equally like you'd always have a favorite it's probably quite a lot of spinning around.

18:41Essentially, it's just cheating. It's not polyamory. It's just cheating. Being in a relationship and cheating. Isn't it just an open relationship? So if you're in an open relationship, you've got a polyamorous relationship. I don't think it's fair, really. I don't think it's fair on the other person. There's always going to be one person who wants it a bit more than the other, and that doesn't work. It's time to go for a biscuit, then. chocolate digestive have that with a glass of full fat milk win okay alright I'll see you in the kitchen in two minutes thanks for your messages folks we'll see you on Wednesday for the full feature episode yes this is one that you definitely do not want to miss out on we have some really big news dropping in this episode alright love you guys thanks for listening bye please do remember to listen, follow, subscribe and leave a review if you wanted to a nice one please not a nasty one yes adios