We Finally Address The Adoption Comments…

0:28What are we talking about this episode, Ryan? Where do you want to start? With your weird feet. Oh my God, my feet. No, weird feet. I've got beautiful feet. You do have nice feet, yeah. I didn't know you had a thousand photos on, what did you call it, Wikipedia? WikiFeet. WikiFeet. So there's a platform online called WikiFeet. It's like the Wikipedia for feet. And strange men, maybe some women, upload photographs of strangers or like celebrities' feet. I didn't know about this until I was at a dinner party maybe six months ago, and someone told me that I've got an enormous fan club. And then I had a little look and there's over a thousand pictures on there of me.

1:07How have they managed to get a thousand pictures of your feet? Isn't that bizarre? So they've taken them from my Instagram stories. What? I didn't realise when I was holding like bowls of chia pudding and acai bowls of breakfast in the morning that my feet were bare in the background. This is just reminding me. It's like every single photo. I've got a DM this week from a bloke who said, I wish you'd sell your sweaty gym socks. I'm looking at that I'm like that is absurd mate there's also a part of me that's like how much would you pay well we've always joked about this that Ryan's got a huge gay following and that you should just get your butt cheeks out on OnlyFans oh mate how much how much money could I make from that but like you're you're the kind of person that actually would do it for cash no we're gonna get into this now or a bit later let's get into it no I'm not the sort of bloke but I view this whole OnlyFans and wiki feet as just completely absurd like but this is a reflection of just where the world is heading to, isn't it?

2:00I don't think that this is a new thing. I think that there are men that have had foot fetishes since the dawn of time. Oh, I know that. I know that. Since cavemen and women when they weren't even wearing shoes. Oh, you think it's going about that far? Well, of course. Like, people have weird fetishes, don't they? But do you like feet? Like, would you like a foot on your willy? I'm not a fetish guy. To quote my man Giggs, but I'm going to do it in reverse order i'm a breast man but i rate asses that's me i don't have a fetish past a nice bum i'm actually quite offended by that because i've got really bad i've not got big breasts that's why i said i'm gonna quote gigs but in reverse order okay fine so butt first then boobs yeah nice so you're not into feet lily allen who is blown up she's on wiki feet she's on wiki feet or she's She's actually on OnlyFans and she sells photos of her feet.

2:54A subscription is 10 quid a month. Oh, that seems quite innocent. Well, wait, what's innocent about that? The price tag attached to it. So if it was like a thousand pounds, then that's just too, that's not innocent because it's exclusive. Well, for 10 bucks a month, you know, you're going to get something pretty like, pretty PG, right? Just like a, oh, there's my foot just resting on the tea, on the, on the coffee table. I think it's all that. I think it's just like a nice pedicure. Well, let's roll out Louise's OnlyFans then. Well, you'd be okay with that. What should we call it? Well, if we could get 10 ,000 people on there, 10 quid a month, that's 100k a month.

3:30That's a milli a year. This little piggy went online. That's what we usually call it. I don't think that we can do that. We're parents. Lily Allen's also got kids. Soul Trader. That's actually smart. I think hers is FTSE 500. Oh my God, that's even better. So good. FTSE 500. but how would you feel about me like men looking at those photos well just your feet yeah if it's as innocent as you described as in like oh there's my porridge bowl and there's just a little sprinkle of toes go for it well people will probably ask like for certain settings shouldn't they well they're gonna try okay well we can talk about that but that's gonna come with extra denier Ross okay so you're pulling me out gets you a pretty PG just like at home scooting around the kitchen stock stock imagery photos that we've already got on my phone okay and then extras they've got to pay god this is so bizarre though isn't it that people do this which i don't think that i'd be okay with doing this only from the perspective i mean obviously like a quick buck it's hard to say no to but with leo being our child i just don't think i could do it with feet because it's so absurd you could just turn that into a joke always know like he'll get bullied for it.

4:43His mates will be like, your mum makes cash from like uploading photos of feet online. Also, I've got, my feet aren't even that nice. I've got a massive scar on my left foot. You've got a scar on your left foot. You've got, your second toe is bigger than your big toe, which is weird. That's called a Roman toe. I try and tuck it in sometimes. Is it called a Roman toe? Yeah. I'd love to know where that comes from. Probably the Romans had them. Obviously, but why is it called a Roman toe? Because all Romans had longer second toes? Yes. Okay, well, that's a bit boring. It's a sign of intelligence.

5:15You've also got like quite a webbed, like, base of the foot, but then a really tiny heel cup, which I actually find quite sweet. Oh, so you do like feet. No, no, no, no, no, no. That wasn't like a sexual suite. That was like a, it's cute. It's like a baby print on a newborn's foot thing. Okay. Tiny heel cup. Maybe I could do this one. Tiny little toes. Oh, sorry. No one's asking me for photos of my feet. Just my sweaty socks. But they're asking me for socks. Do you know, I just have one thing that I wanted to mention about Lily Allen. I feel like she's so popular at the moment, so I really don't want to get cancelled for saying this.

5:46But when I was on Main Chelsea, she tweeted that I looked like I was on drugs in every scene. I was so young and vulnerable. I think that's pretty savage. Let's call her out. Which camera? Lily. Lily. I wasn't. Yeah. I've tried to find it since, and it doesn't exist anymore because there's probably softwares that if you were her PR, you would scan through all of the stuff that she had existing and you'd delete that because it's not very nice. Like for a second, I was like, oh, that's kind of cool that she obviously watches the show and knows who I am. And then I was like, God, I just was a bit self-conscious.

6:27We're coming for you, Lily. I'm coming for your foot fans anyway. Were there any things growing up that you found really embarrassing that your parents did? That my parents did? Yeah. Let me think about this one. Your parents aren't very embarrassing, are they? Well, you're so lucky. Do you think Leo's going to find us embarrassing? I hope not. Like, because of our jobs. Are you going to tell me that I'm doing something embarrassing around Leo at the moment? No, not you. But just like us as a couple. Oh. Because we're quite public. Quite public. We're quite public. We share a lot of stuff everywhere.

7:01No. No, I don't. To answer your first question, I can't think of anything that stood out as embarrassing beyond the sort of like, I can't even say it because my mum watches the show, but mum, when you have a few too many drinks, it gets a little bit cringy. I think that's the same with everyone's mums. Why is it mums? Dads are allowed to get lit and mums just aren't. When my dad's in a restaurant and he tries to like crack a joke with the waitress, I'm like, oh, he's gone there again. It's not even a good joke, but okay. Those are the moments where I'm like - Wait, what are your dad's jokes? This is so funny.

7:29No, they're not. They're so bad. Yeah, so your dad's like typically cliche, like dad joke embarrassing. My dad's just a lunatic. He used to turn up to school and collect us in a lorry, like a massive blue lorry. That embarrassed you? It embarrassed me so much. Friends would come around for lunch and he would serve up 13-year-olds, a whole partridge, slam it down on their plate with 20 veg and expect them to eat it. It was honestly like living in a madhouse. And it got worse when my friends got divorced. Now he's an icon. I've accepted his unique ways. The stuff that you find embarrassing about your dad, though, I find comedy gold.

8:06I've said this to you from day one. I just sit back and observe your dad and it's the most like unintentionally entertaining thing. He brought a chainsaw to the house yesterday. No, it wasn't a chainsaw. It was a saw. It wasn't like a leg of lamb. Just because he thought it would cook quicker so he could get out of the house. That's a great example. Because stimulation overload. I've got many Japanese knives that are like beautifully sharp and can cut through anything. Nope. He turns up with like a Tesco's everyday bag and he gets out a saw to cut through a lamp. And a machete. Like, honestly, as he was tidying them away, I was like, can you hide them?

8:41I've got a four-year-old and dogs. Do you remember when he dropped a knife and it was stuck in the floor? And it so narrowly avoided the dog's head. And he was like, ha, ha, ha. He's not well. And then we all have to sit there and watch, what was the show we were watching? Minders from 1975. These freaks, like, roaming around Notting Hill. Yeah, but do you know what? how often does he tell us about the olden days and about how the world's just you know kaput now he ain't wrong no you're right there's us talking about making ten dollars on uh i know he's probably like what the hell are you talking about right now maybe i need to tone down the dressing and become a bit more parent appropriate don't just don't conform with the herd you do you i think it could work like two ways either he'll like really lean into us being a bit different and be cool and creative and colourful apparently already is those days or he'll hate it and like want us to be really boring i really wanted my parents to be really sensible like my mum used to wear like a juicy contract suit and i fucking hated it i didn't want a cool mum i just wanted a regular mum i wanted a shirt and jeans i did not want the mum from mean girls no so you don't think that there's anything that you do that might embarrass leo why don't you tell me do i do anything that's embarrassing, hit me.

9:58I'm willing to make adjustments here because I don't want to be an embarrassing dad, actually. I want him to be like, that's my dad. Get out of the way. That's my dad. So proud. Yeah. Now, I think you're like, you're quite a good, safe dad. I don't want to be a good, safe dad. I want to be like, that's my dad. So you want to be an icon? Yeah. You have to be like Mike Thompson. No, you don't. I do not want to be with that person. I'm not going to turn up in fatigued tracksuits and a lorry, but I'm going to be an icon in my own way. Okay. In my own subtle, quiet way. Just so him and other dads know, they'll be like, there's Leo's dad.

10:37That's so funny. That's embarrassing. That's something you've actually thought about. That is so embarrassing. I don't think that Leo thinks that there are many things that you do that are embarrassing, but there are a few things that I think that are a little bit embarrassing. Shit. No, like only a couple. Go on. Don't get too embarrassed. Just tell me what's embarrassing. I really don't like it when you like, you clearly think you've got really good legs. Oh my God. And when you're like walking around the house in shorts or boxes, you're like wedge them right up. I know. So you're like, okay, you're not creating a thong, but you're like really wedging them up so that all of your thigh is out and then chafing in the middle.

11:19You've got like the most enormous quads. And like, we just don't need to see that. I was speaking about this exact scenario with Tony. Yeah, yeah. Our Scottish nursery friend. Yeah, before we did the competition. He's pretty mask. He's pretty mask, yeah. He does the exact same thing. And I've done it from like early rugby playing days. I'll tell you where it started, actually. I used to wear board shorts on the beach, right? Sort of like knee length. Like O 'Neill's. Yeah, yeah. I used to get this terrible like sandy rash from like wet shorts and sand and everything else. and because I've got like chub here and the skin on skin, I don't know.

11:52Every time I hoist up the material of the shorts and kind of like create a bit of a front wedgie, it's like a barrier to that. So I'm not even doing it to like try and flex my quads because I know that girls actually don't, well, some girls do. One of my girlfriends called them juicy hand bones. Oh my God. You've never spoken about any of your girlfriends. That's embarrassing. Juicy hand bones. But anyway. And she loved them, did she? She did love them. Oh my God, that's so rank. is it what do you mean she loved them well she just told you she liked your legs Louise is now on the back foot for anyone who's just listening not watching I'm like tickling my ear with the bottom of my she's like oh my god why did we get into embarrassing topics this is awful no I'm actually really excited about it because if it wasn't for the pod we wouldn't speak about any of your exes because Ryan has this rule where exes are out of bounds so for our entire 10 year relationship happy anniversary we have never spoken about any of your girlfriends except for the one that got a tattoo of your name well it's the same girl it was the same girl okay so you roll them up not because you want everyone to see your hard work but you want to avoid the chub the chub rub what else do i do that's embarrassing whilst we're here um whilst we're throwing punches i actually don't think you're too offensive like there's not there aren't many things that you do that give me the ick whereas i've dated people before with a lot of icks like stinking breath the guy that had so many fillings honestly oh my god it's disgusting all of his teeth had been knocked out in sport and it was not good.

13:16You're a bit of a loud eater. Oh God, I know. I think that's a family thing and I used to find it disgusting but Sam used to always eat with his mouth open. Well, I haven't noticed it with Sam as much but your dad, he's like, he's trying to talk while he's chewing and I'm like, why don't we just eat, dude? He's like so involved. He's like, it's good, isn't it, Max? So much commentary around a mouthful of food. and you're there's like a total inability to just shut up and off at me like there can be no moment last night last night Wednesday night midweek roast dinner with the uh Thompson's worst decision of my life the volume in that house you set it up the volume in that house I just I hadn't even had a particularly stressful day but I was by the end of that I was so emotionally done I just I couldn't I couldn't fathom how like the volume was so high and you were all sat around the same table even Tally was like why did Sam invite Tally he was like called her hey walk round from your house and come and join us I was like I need everyone out I do not need more people in the house if I'm getting a call the worst sorry it's when my dad this is so embarrassing why did you do the rock and roll side growing up used to you know he did it last week when Sam invited Tally around it was the first time that they've like properly hung out in an environment together other than my dad turning up to the house and her opening the door when she was home alone at Sam's house and him like just bowling past her pushing her out the way going loose and then walking back out.

14:44That was my life for many years. He was screaming at the TV screen less than a metre away from her face the TV's right behind her going stuff it in! I think he really likes Tully though. Do you? Yeah. I do. Because he's a bit like me and he's not like me but if he's not into something or if he's uncomfortable it's very it's very obvious. Yeah and she doesn't eat meat which is a problem in our family but she arrived and he bounced he bounced out of his seat gave him the gave her the kiss yeah normally he'd be like um he'd make a big problem out of the vegetarianism thing i don't know if that's a word have you noticed how much he looks at me when he tells a story these days well you have something he knows that like you your attention and sam's attention is so fucking he's like ryan you're the only consistent player in the room i'll just speak to you mate and he locks in on me to the point where i'm like i can't even reach for my drink right now i just gotta keep listening to you just keep nodding because you're the only person that will listen no mate um he's yeah he's right though he's not always been nice to boyfriends and girlfriends you're like his dream when you're when your dad saw me i think the good thing about yeah early january's like oh i don't know about the haircut and i was like it's not a haircut man but the hair transplant is like oh yeah he doesn't approve of that he also thinks the beard's weird yeah because he does this thing where he's like he calls me and sam like bearded weirdos does he what does he say that yeah i'm like okay because back in the day you had to shave every day like he still does he does yeah are there any things that i do that really grows you grows you out other than showing loudly that's disgusting by the way it's because i don't consistently clean your teeth at night that's not true ryan oh my god boom boom boom boom fucking running at me about my short shorts and quads hanging out there are times where you don't clean your teeth at night and i i'm sort of like are we gonna resolve this or i remember when i was when i was ill and i was like really all over the shop At one point you were like, I think maybe oral hygiene is really important.

17:01Oh my God. And then I like started, I went down this rabbit hole of, of investigating how important oral hygiene is, which obviously everybody that's listening, I'm aware of how important it is. Freaking out. I've worked with Oral-B in the past and a number of toothbrush and toothpaste brands. That's proper. That's just pure laziness. I'll be honest. if I'm really exhausted. Yeah, but you do the whole like skin routine. No, I don't. Where's the teeth routine? I don't, I don't. You do, you've got the flannels and the serums and everything going on in the bedroom. Oh my God. And I'm like, there's a step that comes just before that, which is cleaning the teeth.

17:36Ryan, can I just throw this right back at you? You also sometimes don't brush your teeth at night. Like, will our life lie? I'm just taking your lead most of the time. And I'm like, well, fuck it. Guess we're not cleaning our teeth tonight then. that's just that's worse I know I need to fucking be my own man you're criticising me for my bad habits and then you're just you're following it's what happens you're a product of your surrounding it's fucking bad that's terrible lead by example for fuck's sake from here on out we're cleaning our teeth every night yeah okay let's make a little pact oh my god that's so rank like we're never gonna be snogging and intimate if we're not brushing our teeth I can't reach your small paw because I've got this thing in front of me there you go Okay, virtual.

18:20A little high five there. You mentioned Molly May in the intro. So where do you want to go with that? I know very little about this person. Do you? You're not really someone that sits at home watching YouTube vlogs, to be fair. She's having her second baby. Okay, what's her first baby called? Good question. There's always viral clips of her kid talking about, like, biting people. What's Bambi? Of course it. Yeah, that sounds about right. Wait, why? What do you mean by that? I shouldn't say this, but she probably thinks that she's the UK version of a Kardashian. And haven't they all got like really whack names?

18:57Shadow and Ice and Blue and whatever else. So she's gone with Bambi. Yeah. Hang on, Brian. Do you know what's funny? You just did it again. Sorry, I'm expressing myself. No, I like it. It's like School of Rock over here. Oh yeah, I'm in School of Rock. We went through baby names the other day. We'll talk about this properly in another episode. because we were getting like a little bit excited about the fact that we might actually be able to have another baby. And we went through the list of names and you like the quirky names. I was just about to say that. I like the quirky names. Yeah, no, I do.

19:28Okay, so you're also a Kardashian. Yeah, I'm a Rob Kardashian. You're Rob. He's the only one with a shit name. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Someone said that to me. I don't know when this happened. They're like, do you sometimes feel like Rob Kardashian? You're surrounded by like Sam, Pete, Louise, at the time. And I'm like, I am the fucking fat loser in the corner. Someone actually said that. They said, do you feel it wrong? I can't remember who it was, but it was so funny. Oh my God. No, right. You're arguably the most successful. It was funny though. You've got a peaceful mind. That's a very valuable thing in this world.

20:01Oh man. Shall I say a funny story about Molly May? Yes, please. I think it was last year. Sam very kindly invited me to the NTAs. You couldn't make it. So I was like, fuck it. I'm going to take my shot. I'm going to see Sam and Pete on the red carpet. We'll have a hug. That didn't happen. And I stood there with my mate Carlos. And like the occasional murmur from the crowd, they'd be like, Ryan, should we get a photo? And I'm like, yeah, dude. Anyway, I was getting closer to like the pap line where they're all like doing their bits and bobs. And I thought I saw like a real avid fan for Ryan. And I was like, oh, like I started to engage with this person.

20:34I stepped in there like, no, no. No, I'm just trying to get you to get Molly May. She's next to you. And I'm like, oh my God. Oh no. That's so embarrassing. So I had to like tap Molly and be like, she wants a photo with you, not me. Oh, do you think she knew who you were? No. Oh. But her boyfriend, her husband. Oh yeah, Tommy. At Wimbledon, yeah. You did introduce yourself, which actually I think you're very good at doing. So anyway, she's having a second kid. I actually didn't even know that they were back together, to be fair. I find the whole thing so confusing. But she's been facing quite a lot of criticism because she said that she's been quite open about struggling with her first with Bambi and saying she's found parenting really hard yeah and the media and also preach yeah I know right it is hard that's the thing it's just hard and so she's actually just being honest but a lot of people have said well should you be having a second one then are you ready for a second you're gonna have two in close succession like can you handle it okay that's so judgmental it was just the world of social media well I don't know I don't know anything about her as a person so I don't know what she's like as a mum but why don't you tell me why don't you tell me what you think I think that everybody should be able to have kids whenever the hell they want them there's never an ideal time like you'll never be ready it's never going to be easy and I think it's actually good that she's talking openly about how hard it can be and that it changed her identity and she didn't enjoy being pregnant and that sometimes she struggles and sometimes her kid says ridiculous things like I want to bite everybody Leo's at the stage where he's starting to test some boundaries so he's gonna he's gonna if he like yesterday for example he threw sand across the nursery fortunately caught himself and he was like i'll just clean this up because he knew straight away but if he throws eggs in in in a supermarket i'm throwing one at him and he's gonna pick them all up yeah fair enough no i think tough love is important discipline do you i'm glad this is on record because you smothered boy in love which i understand but there needs to be a bit more tough boundaries yeah i do i do what you think i'm too soft i don't think you're too i understand why you do it i understand the full picture in context but i do think at times there should be a bit more of a of a line to it but i'm not i'm actually this conversation is not about me picking you out on your parenting yeah it's about bambi and his brother or sister on the way well bambi's a girl this is how much Brian is so culturally out of the loop with all of this stuff, which I'm kind of obsessed with, by the way, because if you were into that, I would find that, Nick.

23:03I live a pretty sheltered existence. I do think one of the things that can be hard having a public profile when you are pregnant is everybody guessing whether you're pregnant or not. Even if you've put on a bit of weight or you're wearing bad clothes, like the media can be very quick to scrutinise or just like jump the gun. And as a woman, you know, and as someone that's been pregnant before, but also someone that's had a miscarriage before, I think it really should be on us to choose when we want to disclose that information. She didn't tell anyone, I think, until she was about six months. And I think a lot of celebrities choose to do that because you want to wait until you feel really safe and really confident.

23:42And also you feel better in the second trimester, which is that middle period. At the beginning, you can feel really tired, really sick. Your anxiety can be bad. I just think it's something that the press should respect. I remember that when I was pregnant with Leo, I actually felt excited to announce it quite early on. I think because I'd mentioned that I'd had a miscarriage before, I felt like, well, actually, I've spoken about this publicly. I didn't announce, which is probably a bit cowardly, I didn't announce my miscarriage until I knew I was pregnant again. But then when I was pregnant, I was really excited to talk about it.

24:19I think that that was probably because so many people around me were also pregnant. So I wanted to be part of that community. And it was our first. And I felt excited about baby brands and, you know, dressing the nursery. And actually, we were doing the renovation at that time. And also, I'm so short. So there was no room to have a pregnancy. I put on so much weight and I couldn't dress normally. So I just I had to announce it because it would have been so obvious. And also because I was working in the fitness industry, hosting a lot of workouts and stuff, I wasn't able to do that anymore. So I actually really did have to let people know.

24:56You just had a giant bump and massive boobs. They were enormous. Do you remember? It was like a Mickey Mouse face with just like a massive circle and two circles there. It actually was. Yeah. But it's not like you had like chunk on your shoulders or legs or bum or face. I did. It was literally just bump and boobs. Do you think? Well, I think you've been quite kind to me there. I feel like I put on several stone. I actually remember weighing myself every morning before I get in the bath. I remember it was when we were living at my mom's house and we were in the basement and we had that little bathroom.

25:29And there was a bath and I'd stand on the side of the bath and there was a huge mirror that took up the whole of the wall. And I literally was like, I cannot bear to look at myself. I felt so ugly. Some women feel amazing. And your mom always says that she thinks that women are their most beautiful when they're pregnant. which just really sums up your mum because she's so maternal and so kind and cute but you know and that's exactly what you would want to hear I think as as a pregnant woman that's feeling a bit vulnerable but it wasn't like a super sexy time for us let's be honest I wonder if my mum says that because she's got this I don't know maybe just this way of looking at a pregnant woman as and this is not to say that women have to have babies but a woman's body is designed to carry and build a baby so when a woman goes on that journey and and kind of fulfills their body's capabilities to the full I wonder if it's like the pinnacle of like wow this is me at my peak this is me this is I'm a woman like this is everything is what everything that I am is is all leaning into this process right now what was your perspective of the pregnancy announcement I didn't really love the fact that we announced it so early having a baby with someone to me is a very private personal thing i've had to try and keep up with this uh appearance online since i met you 10 years ago it doesn't come that naturally and when it comes to announcements like oh we're pregnant or oh we're moving house or oh we're potentially going to do ivf and surrogacy and all of that stuff to me is deeply private so i don't really i don't jump at the idea of broadcasting or sharing on social media however having lived through what we've lived through changed my approach to communication and understanding that what we talk about ripples through not just our lives but many others it's a demonstration of like you know if you go to these uncomfortable conversations there's a lot of power and merit to be extracted and it can bring you together as a couple or you can get clarity on where you are as an individual there's lots of positives but I still there's no point in me trying to lie it's still not that natural for me I remember having a conversation with a really good friend of mine, Dale, when we were pregnant after the miscarriage and he was like, just zip it up, mate.

27:45Like, just keep that in your locker for you and Louise. My preference always, regardless of the version of Ryan now versus old, my preference would be to zip it up, keep it private. This is for me, us. But that's not the world we live in. And I still play catch up on that. So I don't like the announcements i don't like the oversharing online which is why i try on my content not to be too obvious with it i just kind of sit behind it a little bit which social media doesn't really favor which is why i've got 300 000 you've got fucking out of a million million i actually like how black and white that is it's actually the truth that is exactly why yeah because you are more private yeah and people need to feed off of things or relate to things.

28:36But I think that that's actually really respectable, the fact that you don't just jump on what everyone else is doing for the sake of growth and appeasing the public. I wonder if Molly May is just caught in this cycle of, well, people are expecting to see what happens next with our family, so I better tell them. That's what makes me feel a little bit sad for her in a way because it's probably this vicious cycle of like, well i've got to keep feeding the beast almost and by that i mean the the beast of social media and however many millions of followers that she's got even sam would relate to that feeling he's like man i gotta keep the content going people are expecting it that's that's a difficult spot to be i think that's kind of also the spot that we're in but there's so as you mentioned there's so many positives to it and really enjoyable bits and i do think that she's waited until she was really clear that she felt good that she wanted to share is it oh sorry how many weeks yeah she was six months she's six months now yeah oh okay well that well maybe i missed that that's yeah and she actually is quite private like they don't she doesn't leave she like hardly fucking leaves the house okay well the more you tell me about this girl i'm more like yeah i'm pro molly hey Molly it's locking a double date I actually am not sure whether there are any pictures of me in the press pregnant that's probably because I was pregnant during lockdown and I actually feel quite grateful that I was pregnant during lockdown because it meant I could control what people saw of me I did not feel very confident really and yeah like I was very selective about what I shared it's just it's a huge identity shift especially from being someone whose career at that point had been built around having like a six pack which is so insane to me now that then losing that like my tummy was always my thing like I felt much more bulky elsewhere but I always thought to myself in my head if I've got a small stomach then that's okay because I'll look skinny and obviously as my the baby is leo isn't it funny to think that was leo because now i'm imagining myself pregnant having no idea what this little creature is going to be like um that he as he grew i lost my my tummy my thing and i just felt terrible and if i'd been papped out and about looking like that in fact i was oh we can find the photo online it was right before we gave birth and i think i'd posted a photo from a much more flattering angle and i was looking a lot skinnier and in the pap shot that went online i think it was the daily mail i looked so bad and i was so humiliated and like i dread to think what the comments said underneath have you ever read the comments articles about yourself have you never like never touched them i just see the headline the title they still don't know my name they're just like louise thompson and her fiance pt boyfriend or whatever it is number yeah it's so nice time even in the interviews i did yesterday with itv and sky news they're like louise thompson and her pt boyfriend i'm not even a pt i know we need to update our wikipedia profiles we're broadcasters and podcasters now big ups i have noticed some unsolicited comments at the moment and luckily there have been a lot of other people out there that don't feel the same way who have actually brought it to my attention and often i don't even notice notice the bad i remember actually when we did have Leo there were some apparently out there there was some bad press and some bad comments I think people jumping on that mum shaming thing when we took Leo to his first health visitor appointment when people didn't know how severely unwell I was and he wasn't wearing gloves and wasn't wearing a hat and yet I was wearing loads of clothes people had said oh but you're you've looked after yourself and you've not looked after your child all of that kind of narrative is is is not okay in my opinion but recently there's been there have been quite a few people that have said to us why don't we adopt instead of doing the IVF surrogacy process and I think it's a really interesting conversation to have because

32:46for anyone that's listening of course Ryan and I have considered all of our options when it comes to growing our family and it's not something that we've written off I don't think anyone can summarize our fertility situation in one sentence anyway so saying using the prefix just in front of adopt is not something that I think reads correctly because the process of adoption is hugely long-winded and weighty and tough and I know people that have done that I think that every couple is within their right to want to have a child using their own DNA yeah don't you yes I think that that's that's it's been an interesting dialogue reading the comments reacting to some of our conversation talking about the surrogacy thing it's not something that I expect people to understand but until you've had fertility issues of your own I don't think people should be commenting on it there are people that have had cancer young ovarian cancer uterine cancer cervical cancer that have been lucky enough to freeze their fertility before they have to go through really fucking aggressive cancer treatment and you can't i just i can't understand a person that will sit there and say that that person should just adopt instead of being able to create a family that they've always dreamed of the thing i hate about social media is that people have no idea of the wider picture they have no sense of context and they will wade in with the most obscure not even obscure just unsolicited advice or opinion and that i've really struggled to accept but someone asked me face to face just this week have you considered adoption and it came from someone I have massive amounts of respect for he's a really good person deeply religious and when he said the word adoption I was like my honest response was I have nothing against the idea of adoption if that's a family's last option or if that if that's an option that a family want to go down if they've got the capacity and skills to do that that is nothing short of a miracle it makes me feel emotional I like genuinely think that adoption is the most beautiful thing in the world could you do it it would take a lot like it would take a lot to get to a place where I could do it but but but as someone that I like you know love helping people so to like save somebody from that environment would feel I know it would feel like the most amazing privilege in the world but I'm but like we've been through too much of our own trauma so I don't think we are best placed to be those people right now who knows where we'll be in five ten years like you we know firsthand you can't predict the future so we'll see but that yeah that's our stance on it now so So for anyone that thinks that that's, you know, the right option for us, that's where we stand.

35:42I'm like, fuck now, why am I so dear? No, because you're letting your heart tell the story on that one. That was a true account.

35:53And no one on the outside has a right to just point a finger and be like, why are you not doing this as an option? No, no, no, you don't get to do that. I know. i think because we have one child maybe people feel like we're in a position a fortunate position anyway and also people do have strong views when it comes to surrogacy because there are a lot of ethical considerations around it oh and someone called me up for saying baby hotel which annoyed me because they thought that i was really being derogatory to the woman and in my in my mind i was doing that really for my own preservation of how i perceive this experience i wanted to soften the edges around it so i can get to a place of acceptance with it in the same way that like i have these visions of an actual stalk going to georgia and collecting my baby and flying back and delivering it to the house it's just what i'm doing with this information to make to make the digestion and the whole process easier i think it's your way of like trying to process the the crazy thing that we're having to go through yeah i think that there's so much chat about fertility at the moment did you listen to the stephen bartlett episode i saw it yeah you saw it so he interviewed chris williamson who's an ex-love islander i had no idea that he was a love islander did you know who he was before chris yeah yeah you did yeah so he's got like a wellness podcast yeah pretty pretty good one from what is it great yeah you listened so they had a conversation about our declining population rate and receiving a lot of scrutiny because they've essentially blamed women for the reason that we have a declining population rate which is now below replacement level so for anyone that doesn't know what replacement level it is it essentially means that for every two people in the world that coupled together you need to be having two kids to replace yourself when you die so sorry we've got a declining i look around and i think fuck there's a lot of people everywhere i go how have we got a declining population i know people always bang on about how we don't have enough resources to supply our population but we need more babies because otherwise there's not going to be a workforce to cater for us when we get old so we're going to be living off of pensions that our workforce that are younger need to pay for so actually we really do need to keep the cogs turning there's a huge economic implications if we don't meet the replacement level but the conversation between steven bartlett and chris Williamson was they were slamming women right well they they blamed it on women and neither of them actually have children so I don't think that they're best placed to be commenting on the reasons why families aren't having as many children as they used to so what's the severity have they received a lot of hate yes okay good good and I mean good because that's a pretty misogynistic approach to take I'm glad that you actually share that opinion I think if we look at the reasons why we do have a declining population, right?

38:50What would you assume that they would be? I would say that society is lagging behind the evolution of us as people. I think women view this now not as an obligation, but it's a decision that women have autonomy and agency over. And men are not quick enough to accept that. And I think as society and social media has a big role in this, Like we portray or we can't accept what it actually takes to run like a family unit these days. Long gone of the days where dad's at work and mum's at the kitchen stove all day and looking after the kids. Like maybe there are some relationships where that still goes on.

39:32But for the most part, women have got higher education than me, as we just found out. They've got choice. They've got like aspirations and ambitions for careers and rightly so. Which, by the way, was created by the patriarchy that has lent so heavily into capitalism that everybody's main goal in life is financial, economic. We're all just driving towards a bigger bank account, which women have now copied from men. Take a breath. I'm angry about it. We don't live in an existence or a world where man is the provider and woman is the caregiver. well if we need to cotton on to actually no no this is this is a shared partnership where we need to raise this child together that's so true like there needs to be concessions made in the relationship i think if men um were wanting that typical family structure that they need to be earning a hell of a lot of money to support the family as a single income household because raising a child is extortionately expensive i also think that as women we are choosing to have children later in life because we've realized that there are other things that we want to as you said achieve first and we shouldn't have to compromise our 20s and 30s just to keep stephen bartler happy oh no fuck what he said it's too archaic women women now have have choice with what they want to do with their bodies their careers their time their lives and everything else.

41:05It's not an obligation. You as a woman don't have to have a child and we as a society should be fully supportive of that. I also think like there is a little bit of this good and evil going on as well with the whole glamorizing of what family life could look like. We have a responsibility, you and I, to Leo, but also on this podcast to be really truthful about like the beautiful parts but also the difficult parts of being parents and what implications it has on us as a couple, individuals. you couldn't work for how many months or years and it was the same for me and we've had to build it back up and another big part of this is sex like i think we can blame this on sex like i think so many people now live you mean the act of sex the act of sex you have to have sex in order to have a fucking child unless you do ivf and they or artificial insemination but traditionally shagging is what gets you pregnant and i think that people aren't having sex as much as they used to we have become more independent i think like we don't rely on each other no no i'm uh well definitely women have become more independent but i think couples have become more independent and also so a big part of why okay strip this right back back in the stone ages right you're Looking around, there's nothing to do.

42:30Where are you going to get your dopamine hit from? Foraging and finding a little bit of food to eat. Okay, that feels good. Having sex, that feels good. What, finding something, a berry that you can maybe draw like a little woolly mammoth with. There's nothing else to do. So you're shagging and you're having lots of kids. Now, we've got so many things presented to us that we could do instead. There's literally like low-hanging fruit, like dopamine-inducing activities everywhere. so people go oh that makes me feel good that makes me feel good that makes me feel good oh I don't need the sex so much anymore but and I I'm I'm guilty of that as well by the way like we don't we should probably be having more sex I know that you would like to but there are so many options for other things to do like there's I mean these streamers there's hundreds of thousands of shows that people would rather watch than actually like color with their partner at night and people and also couples are watching the different shows in different bedrooms or different rooms because they like different things whereas back in the day what when there were four channels five channels our parents generation so i shouldn't really rope um linda and rick in they're a bit younger than my parents but they they couldn't really there wasn't that much to do i'm looking at this whole thing like this is not just about sex like this is much deeper than this social media i'm on it we we are on it as a family but like andrew tate here we go Andrew Tate, he basically, he is the ultimate misogynist.

43:54He is a big problem. And there's young boys, and this is the difference ultimately between boys and men. He thinks that women are assets and that you have no choice and that I'm going to assert dominance over you as a man and you're a woman. I own you and everything that you are. And he thinks that if he intimidates and bullies his way through that, like he is trying to teach people, and when I say people, there are young boys watching this because they've all got access to youtube it's incredibly damaging me as a father i see this a little bit i don't follow it but i'm aware of it me as a dad and me as a bloke we have a fucking role to play because if we don't demonstrate what a man is and what a father is and what it entails andrew tates and people like this of the world will just they'll see the space and they'll dominate and it just ripples through that's why now in schools they've got these like we're going to teach you young fellas how to respect women that is a surefire fuck reflection of the world we live in that is terrible i think that there are people that benefit from separating men and women and and sort of to echo what you've just said women don't trust men now we are we see a lot of the bad that men do but there are still good men out there but unfortunately like a lot of the bad men seem to have a platform because shit always rises to the top because we live in a world that celebrates loud hype like what's going to grab my attention as as people i just think like most people have like forgotten what's important and it starts with respect for each other well what's really exciting as a woman is seeing how much has changed in the last decade and i think we're really on the cusp of something big happening and in order for women to be treated fairly um and equally we need to have a voice there's no reason why 50 of politicians shouldn't be women we need to be making decisions and so part of this rally that i created that theo and i set up yesterday in support of our the petition that we've launched because we believe that this country really needs a maternity commissioner is to give women fair access to good health care.

46:15We are the ones that give birth. Nothing can take, that won't change. Everything that we're trying to work towards is improving maternity care for women because we are the ones that still have to brunt the trauma for the most part of the childbirth process. And of course the care has not been a priority because men have been in charge. I hate to say that. The fact that we have commissioners for many other important parts of politics, I don't know, many other big topics like education, obviously children, very important. Domestic abuse, very important. The environment, very important. But to put the environment above the thing that brings life into this world, like giving birth is it involves not one life, life.

47:02It involves two lives is like the inception of life. And so it's amazing to me and also hundreds of thousands of other women clearly who have signed my petition that this hasn't been a priority. But I think that it's about to change. And I feel really excited because, and this is like just crazy, but yesterday morning when Theo and I were getting ready ahead of all of the women meeting on College Green, which was opposite the House of Parliament, she receives a text. And honestly, like she nearly fucking fainted. She's been working on this for years. There are women that have been working on this for decades that have wanted a maternity commissioner, have not been listened to.

47:35We are not the first. I'm not a pioneer. I'm just a mouthpiece. I'm someone that might have been at the forefront of like this tipping point. And it shouldn't have had to happen to me, but it has. But she received a text from West Streeting and we're going to be able to have a conversation. I know that there's a lot of political unrest at the moment. So who knows why that text has come through at this point in time? Oh, no, I can tell you why it's come through. Why? Well, because you've made a really courageous decision to use your platform. And it's not even about you being an influencer or whatever else you want to call it.

48:08You've got a real mother who is willing to talk about this really truthfully. Not to do it in a sort of demeaning or hugely accusatory way. But you've made this decision to use your platform to protect other families. And that is something that people can really get behind. You've got 150 ,000 because of you. and that's that is like it's a miracle in many ways like you you've got such a a way with words and the way you've connected with it's a bit like sam watching him do that bloody charity for that run you and sam have both got these moments in your lives where you've literally captured the nation which sounds a little bit cheesy and maybe weird to say but you really have i've witnessed it yesterday there was hundreds of people there who've traveled miles devon and cornwall manchester gloucester edinburgh real women real people who have traveled to be there to be in solidarity with you because there's a shared experience among amongst this um entry into motherhood and things that shouldn't have happened but have happened and we're going to do something about it it's unbelievable sadly there's you know one in three people would say that they've had a and five percent of people that do give birth end up developing ptsd and there's a lady up She created an Instagram account called Kat, who has been in the press a lot this last week because she's had severe postpartum psychosis, wasn't listened to in the hospital, and ended up running in front of a bus.

49:33I mean, these stories are getting a lot more coverage now, whereas before, there'd be no interest to the powers that be in reporting this sort of news. You now are leading this charge with such momentum and speed. You've instilled fear. I think women can't be shut up anymore. It's one of the great things. I think to link back to your question about the whole declining birth rates and Stephen Bartlett and Chris Williamson, women rightly so are losing faith in men. They're like, well, they're just not, they're not geared up for this. They're focusing on egos and flashy watches. I need a bloke who's going to show up and be present and loyal and is willing to concede on things and treat this as a partnership.

50:18They're also looking at the system, so-called system that is built to support women when they have babies it's hugely lacking and there are lots of women you're one of them who have been let down so of course women are looking at this whole thing and be like well i'm actually going to take my time over this it's also not just this it's endometriosis there you go it's pms it's pmdd it's the menopause it's fucking everything and i know that we wanted to talk in this episode about i had this like big question I wanted to ask you about whether it was easier. You thought it was easier to be a boy or a girl in this world.

50:52But I think we'll save that one for another week. But I do feel really hopeful that big change is about to happen. And I feel really grateful that we can be a part of that. So if you'd like to vote for Baroness Thompson first. Shut up. I just got cramp in my car. no I think I think what you're doing is really really magical and to be there yesterday to observe it with my little camera was was epic and I know that that is actually just the start of probably quite a long journey but I know that you'll um you'll see it through and you'll you'll protect a lot of families women but a lot of families in that process so um I kind of hope that Stephen Bartlett clocks it and talks about it I hope that Andrew Andrew Tate sees me call him out yeah i hope that we can just make a better change make make the world a better place and we're just you know in amongst all of this these these are just our opinions which are our hearts are telling the story here because we've lived through some trauma and we're still standing so we're going to keep other people up the women yesterday were coming up to me saying that they are just like incomplete all of you so as long as you're aware of the impact you're having i'll always struggle to take a compliment that's a thompson thing we are the antithesis of Stephen Barlet you are the antidote to Stephen Barlet I'm the antidote I'm like a potion that's the title of this episode and on that note I think we'll end I've got so much more that I want to say but we'll save it see you next week folks well we've got Pete here in the studio today and we really need to hit some Instagram followers YouTube subscribers jobs are on the line jobs are on the line everyone's trying to get fired our jobs are on the line we're only four weeks in so if you could really kindly follow us on Instagram TikTok Pete will get his fake down up follow us on Instagram TikTok subscribe on YouTube and also the main thing is that if you follow us on the podcast app or Spotify wherever you prefer listening then you'll get all of our updates automatically so it saves you so much time and effort every week so click that little tick okay nice

53:14Thank you.