Were we REALLY ready to have children?

0:00Most women have been there. Something feels off. You don't feel like yourself, yet your doctor says everything looks fine. Spoiler, it's your hormones. Midi is a virtual care platform built for women by women and offers specialized hormone care from trained clinicians. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you. It's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage.

0:34Hello, welcome to He Said, She Said, Ask Us Anything. This is Monday's episode where you guys get to be a little bit nosy ahead of our longer episodes on Wednesdays. So I've got a few questions for you this week, Ron. Okay. It's always me asking you the questions. Well, that's a good point. Let me ask you. I'll be the question, Master. How did you know you were ready to have children? I'm 32 and still don't know what I want. What's your thoughts on that? I it's so cliche but I don't think there's ever a right time to have children I if I'm going to be completely honest but I feel like a lot of my friends were having children when we first got into lockdown so around 2020 sort of that first year a lot of my friends started having kids or got pregnant like fairly near the beginning and then had kids towards the end of that year and I there was this sort of domino effect the more people that were having them the more other people were announcing the same thing and I think I was slightly influenced by that noise and I remember actually years later having a conversation with my life coach asking whether that was a bad thing like was that the wrong reason to have a child and I even questioned whether I'd brought on all of the subsequent trauma that happened to me because of chasing something that wasn't meant for me at the right time I'm obviously so grateful now for how everything did work out and that we did have a child when we did because Leo is honestly just the biggest blessing and such a gift because he's so cool and I couldn't imagine it any other way but I'm not sure that necessarily I was ready I really thought that having a baby would be just a sort of like complementary accessory to my life I thought it would be easier than it than it was and I don't I don't know I don't know how much more thought I could have given it to have made a more educated decision I know that we didn't necessarily sit down and talk about it lots, but I don't think you necessarily do have to do that when you are making big decisions.

2:31How often do people actually really agonize over a topic of conversation before they make a decision? We had a miscarriage after. I'd not been on contraception for a while. I think actually I'd stopped taking contraception just before we started dating, which was just a by chance thing. And I felt a lot more like myself when I stopped taking the what was I on? Actually, I was on I had the rod in my arm. So I had this progesterone only rod in my arm and I'd had two batches of them. So I think it was three years each. So I'd been on that for six years. And when I came off that, I felt this sort of huge like release, like this weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

3:13I felt a lot more happy and I didn't want to then go back on anything else. So I was slightly like dancing with the devil, not dancing with the devil, taking a risk every time we slept together for those initial years that we were together. And then I did start to wonder whether there was maybe something wrong because we hadn't got pregnant before. And then I knew I had an interest in it. And I sort of had a couple of appointments with gynecologists and obstetricians. and I had my AMH first tested because I've looked back now since doing a lot more delving into my hormones. I think in 2017, so I would have been 27.

3:53And I think back then in that moment, I knew, okay, I really want to make sure that I'm fertile because end goal is to have a family. But I didn't do much more planning than that. And then during lockdown, I suppose we had a lot more free time and we were a bit more sexually active. and then we had a an early miscarriage and I think after having that conversation with you following the miscarriage where we both did get quite upset I felt like I knew then it was something that we both wanted what about you my gosh well to ask the question I didn't feel ready to have a child when I was younger than 32 so gosh I don't think there is ever a right time had you thought about it at all yeah I'd thought about it and I almost said that I'm not ready In your head?

4:39Yeah. So maybe if we had had a conversation about it, things would have ended up differently. I guess because your brothers both had kids and you were so amazing with them, I kind of, part of me thought, okay, we're all in this together. All the brothers, all the family.

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5:50Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you. It's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. What's your skincare routine? Real gear change. Well, at the moment, I am using a... I love the serum. It's called Hydrate B5 from Medigate. It is phenomenal. It's one of those products where you try and you actually notice a difference. And I've recommended it to a few people. And they've also fallen head over heels in love with it, if you can, for a beauty product.

6:32And it's one of the things that I will always repeat by. It's in like a little purple bottle. a brand that I haven't used very often a brand called Sicily which is kind of reminding me of my mum's bathroom growing up because I think it's probably one of those sort of heritage brands that's been around for ages but it is quite expensive I've been using this amazing cleanser and also a kind of like over and over everything else night mask you know that the cleanser in the shower that blue one with the white lid yeah you've actually I've got two parts and one of them is very quickly disappeared. Well, I don't use cleanser, so that's not me.

7:07But you know the blue pot? I'm saying yes for the podcast, but no. Baby blue pot? I was wondering if you'd been tucking in. No. No. No, sir. What about you? I mean, I don't really have a routine, per se. I just moisturize my chops. I do like a body cream by Kiehl's, though. That was always my favorite. Oh, that really, like, thick one. Yeah. That massive tube with the pump. I do love coconut-smelling products, but some of them they seem to like give me some sort of reaction which is a shame because i love because we know you're allergic to lotus lotus yeah uh yeah i should probably do more skin care you've actually started getting sent some stuff i noticed that there's male packages i know skin one one oh one one skin ryan got sent i love that you're like skin one one ryan got sent one one one skin like a care package from them their face masks are like 70 quid a pop and i saw them in the car i was like hold on a minute i've been trying to get my mitts on some of these they're so good especially if you've got like a shoot or a red carpet thing slap them on crystal always brings them and i'm like i'm not gonna use these i know how precious they are to you they've got the really nice under eye gels you know what we should do when we're next on an airplane we should take those masks and be like those those No, no, no, no, no.

8:23There's influences that are like, hey, here's my post, my pre-flight, mid-flight skin essential routine. There's a time and a place for that. It's just weird to sit there with a full face mask on an aeroplane. Okay, well, I'm going to say this now then. I've committed to filming something for a brand on the aeroplane that we're both going to be on where we're sat on opposing aisles. And I've got to go do a makeup video. So I'm going to be that person. Are you going to be embarrassed and pretend that you don't know me? Quite possibly, yeah. Shall I get my other neighbour to help me film it? Your brother?

9:01Oh, you mean on the plane? No, on the plane. Yeah, yeah, recruit someone else. No, not my brother. You know, once I was so scared on a plane and I was on my own that I literally face-planted my head into someone else's lap and kept it there for the duration of the journey. I'm not sure how to respond to that one. Yeah, so weirder things have happened. eye gels i remember i got back from that challenge with your bro and i went to his house and i was like a thank you gift he gave me eye gels he's like he obviously looked at me and thought you need some help so he put these things you remember you saw me i had the things under my eyes the eyes what are they called eye patches yeah yeah would you ever do that like the salmon sperm no salmon sperm in the face not just the face the eyes around the eyes it's like a natural product isn't it but then why are we like but then why do we consume anything that's not our own but we don't want to be like cannibals right eating ourselves but i guess it's weird yeah why would you get like an animal product and pump it into your face but then we do consume animal products to eat so is it any different to that like eat a fish put a fish in your face same kind of thing false track that um those amino acids right into your skin could be something in what you're saying yeah it's a very odd it's an interesting perspective yeah put a fish in your face face in those omegas right next quasi the embroidery wall art in the kitchen is lovely where is it from i'm actually asked about this all the time on instagram okay so it's from a lady called chloe johannison and she does these beautiful suzani so they're these tapestries that she's sourced from india they're all embroidered and actually I mean they're not cheap like we're not talking sort of done on prices but they are all different and that's what I love about them and I think I bought that for 300 pounds and then I decided to get it framed sort of wrapped around something and then framed in a special way but if you look online for the same sort of thing some people are charging 1 ,000 2 ,000 pounds for them geez yeah and one of your favorite pieces of art we're sat right by now yes in front of the pod yeah this is a different speed but this is a painting by brittie flynn who's based in australia and uh it's very unique because she will build these uh she'll dress the table to things that reflect the people she's painting for so you can decorate it with things that mean a lot to you i didn't have any hand in this i just saw the result that louise and the artist collaborated on but it's it's really cool do you know what's funny so i locked myself out of the house a few times when year away and i had to take and i was with the dogs it was a bit of a nightmare so i had to luckily someone was next door at sam's and so was sam and i had to take the dogs and climb out of sam's office and like onto the roof with the dogs and then back into our house i noticed in his office he has his own version of this have you ever seen it do you know what i don't know if i i knew that because like britney told me that she was doing one for them is it hanging up on the wall well they he's sort of hung it it's not in the same way so he's got two but they're two separate i think there's a big space between them nice and they really should be framed together but i i now need to go and have a look at his again and to see what's on his it's great i think it's a lovely bit of art because if you can it's storytelling in a different way isn't it so such a talking piece it is it's very personal which is i guess what it's actually really cool art is one of the things that's like incredibly hard to buy for anybody else it's something that i keep asking my friend harriet churchwood who's got great taste and sometimes i'll reach out to for like interiors help and i'll ask her whether she can point me in the right direction with artwork because we've still got lots of walls with no art on them did i get it right with those two and she and she was like you can't really choose it for someone else so i have a few friends who are actually artists and you might remember that last week i sent you the picture of a painting that I'm quite keen to buy.

13:06I deliberately didn't respond. I thought you'd like it because it looked like a Devon coastline. Too vibrant. Too vibrant. Too vibrant. Even for like a little quiet lonely wall somewhere. For my taste too vibrant yeah I mean I'm sort of sat by a pretty vibrant thing but that's that's quite it's kind of on that scale it works. You know where we should go Collins and Green this lovely lady who's actually been to the house before she's got but she's turned her houses into a, like a sort of studio, just full of art all over the walls. Lots of different collage layouts and you can go and pick something out in person.

13:39I think we should do, that would be a nice thing that we can do together. That's what art should do for you, right? They should make you feel a certain way, yeah. Nice, little interiors episode there. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. Please send in your questions, the juicy the better. We'll be back on Wednesday with our full episode and this week we're replicating the monthly relationship review trend and doing that on the show, which was very insightful. See you on Wednesday.

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