What Louise PRETENDS to like in bed…?!

0:01Louise: Hey, it's your ceiling vent, so I'm dripping. Could be the rain, could be the upstairs bathroom. Yikes. You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed, or does he just own a ladder? Listen to your home. Go with Thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note, and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack. We know homes. Hire the right pro today.

0:34Louise: Hi guys, welcome back to He Said, She Said. This is your friendly Monday, I was going to say morning, but people are listening to all time of the day, don't they? AUA. This is the fun and silly bit where you can talk to us and you guys have been sending in some elite questions. These are really good date questions, like good opening conversation starters i think i haven't looked at them so i'm gonna no i mean like every week i feel like they're just really good juicy questions they like reveal quite a lot about someone's personality okay and as people know if you've been listening for a while to our the main bulk of the episodes we're not really ones for small talk anymore are we so how many questions are we gonna get through i don't know like four or five we'll see how we go and is it meant to be like a sort of quick fire yeah kind of yeah cool okay so you might need your phone for this one i love asking people this question i'm so nosy what's the last thing you googled uh last thing i googled yeah uh i will check right now let's hope it's pg uh farms in portugal okay and wordle behind that wordle yeah and anything else oh okay uh for some reason i've only got four tabs open up my up on my thing brian is so okay so here's a personality trait brian's the kind of guy that like minimizes his screens a few times a day he'll like swipe up and do that thing and then like get rid of all of them and you probably do that with google as well but maybe you're hiding some secrets on there no i'm glad there's no you porn no no you porn what's the last thing you googled god am i going to be boring as well let's see i've got loads of tabs open i have got some pretty random stuff oh god okay a bit intense palantir technologies dna methylation some stuff about looking up like lumps on necks because i'm have health anxiety and i'm a contraact a mirror fertility app would highly recommend if you're a woman out there that is wanting to track your hormones you can weigh on a stick every single day and it will track your cycle across all the different hormones i'm actually not being paid in any way to talk about that i wouldn't recommend it because i wake up every morning to see a little piss pot in the bathroom every single day it's true you have to wee in a little pot it's like a little rubber pot like there's ones the portable dog water bowls yeah it's not great and sometimes i make a bit of a mess but we're good to that okay the last one is it bad if your dog licks his bum and then licks your face that is do you even need to google that well i wanted to know i wanted like confirmation on whether now that i'm on new immunosuppressants that was gonna tip me over the edge is that disgusting yep but actually you know what i found out is that the dog's mouth is quite clean but no i'm not gonna go unless they've got rabies and you're in a foreign country everywhere on google basically says it's fine like gemini is literally spitting out that you can let your dog kiss you on your face accidentally like probably about four times throughout the day one of the dogs will slip its tongue into my mouth probably explains why you're so unwell all the time though because you've got i think they've got like an amazing mouth that just a way of cleaning bacteria in their mouth anyway next question yeah it's a bit gross i do think that their breath has improved since i've been using this special powder that gets rid of dental plaque okay oh my god who the hell asked this this is inappropriate okay what's one thing your partner does in bed that you pretend to like oh my god oh my god i'm not a good actress so like i can't really pretend if there are things that you're doing that i don't like very personal i don't think i can answer that one no i actually know i need an answer from no i've actually got one for you we're gonna play to the fist I know I've got I've got one I've got one for you because it feels like it's not really invasive okay when you like slap my arse sometimes oh my god this is TMI but basically like look we're actually we're quite like cutesy we're not too full on I'm quite lucky that Ryan's a bum man because I've not got massive breasts did I just say that breasticles out loud boobs I've not got a lot of junk on my chest and so yeah you like a bit of like a bum slap and and I don't mind anything for a massage I'm all here for a massage like you can massage any part of my body and you're actually quite good at massaging because you used to massage people's feet for living but the sometimes you'll just like quite aggressively like slap my ass and I'm like what might happen if you continue to do that.

5:25Right. I freaking love AUAs on a Monday.

5:28Louise: Yeah, is that, could you think you could stop doing that? Sure. Do you like the sound? I know you hate it when I slap your ass. I don't do it in the bedroom because that would feel weird. She does. She slaps me on the ass. My arms are so short and you're so big that I can probably not even reach your ass at this point. But around the kitchen, I might give you a bum and a nice spank because it makes a nice sound. And every time you'll be like, ow don't do that Drew I've got a very sensitive booty do you yes I do I'm going to just actually kick this can down the road and move on to the next question let's go but there must be hang on hang on there must be something that I do that you don't like kiss me with a dirty mouth oh fair enough kiss me with a runny nose actually there you go kiss me with a runny nose that's gross next question do you believe in the one what like matrix with neo the one it was that what sorry sorry what sorry what's neo the matrix the one the matrix is all about finding the one which is neo okay you haven't seen the film no i have i actually saw it it was one of the first like 15s that i watched i think it was the first 15 i watched isn't that funny my brothers were like you definitely didn't get that and i was like i did i get it i really get it i completely did not get so that's why i'm sat here not knowing because I definitely didn't get it.

6:48Louise: There were loads of just, are there like men with black suits marching around at the place? Right. Yeah, that's one way to describe the nation. Is he trying to find the one in a personal romantic relationship or just trying to find a person? Definitely not a romantic relationship. Well, do you believe in the one, the perfect partner? I think I would hope that that exists. I like to believe that there are rare encounters where you find your soulmate. I think what I'm trying to say is I think relationships are really built around as you know 4c's compromise being one of them it's pretty rare to find out the perfect package and be like oh my god you're absolutely the one for me I just I want to believe that but in reality I think you can fall in love with people and you can really adore certain traits but there's always going to be some things that you're I don't quite enjoy that element of you.

7:41And for that reason, I'm sort of, you know.

7:46Louise: It's fine to say no. Yeah. It's basically I'm not the one. I'm quite close. I'm 10 years into it now, so you have become the one for me. There is no other one for me. But did I think that you were the one on day one? I've said it before. No. I don't actually believe in the one either. Oh, okay. well and the reason being is that in really sad circumstances sometimes like one half of a partner might die and then and then i don't think that you or a partnership ends in divorce more also very likely at some point is it like 50 now of relationships close to you and in divorce marriages into divorce and i think that there are scenarios where people go on to meet somebody that they love of an equal measure or occasionally more and to then like how basically how heartbreaking would it be if you were madly in love with your partner they were the one and then something awful happened to them and then you were stuck like grieving the loss of the one and only for the rest of your life and you weren't able to move on and there could be somebody else that's really beautiful out there that's like meant to make you happy for the rest of your life like I feel really really lucky because I found you and you are as you said echoing what you said you're like my one for hopefully forever and that's how I see it and you are as close to that you know you we work really well together but I don't know like it would be it's it's kind of it would be frustrating to believe that there's only one person out there you'd forever be on a quest and i think that that then i have some friends who are really picky and are still single and maybe they're trying too hard to find this perfect person and it doesn't exist i completely agree and they're they're not willing to compromise how could you possibly filter out everybody in the world how many people billions and billions of people like travel around every country get closer to that person when i say compromised by that i was quite happy to settle quite early on to be honest it's worked out well for me but i i like what you say about um you you will end up on a lifelong quest if you believe that there is the one and only person out there because what that screams to me is that you're just not willing to to budge on your on your list of requirements or like you yourself are not even perfect so you know don't go leading with that kind of expectation you've got to be willing to shuffle things around accept that part of them because you know you're going to get that part as well you can't yeah that's so interesting though at what point this is not a question i'm just enjoying this what point then do you end a relationship because it's not like the one for you when they don't when they don't reciprocate the same level of compromise okay that's a good starting point isn't it well if you're the one that's compromising the whole time and they're not making any changes to accommodate you or to support you you'd be like i'm done with this that's it i think that's the answer that filters out then whether you're compatible because they're not you're just not aligned on enough stuff i do believe chemistry is important as i told you the canoodling aspect of the four c's yeah i do think that we have to accept that bodies change there's going to be some real uh shifts in how much passion and energy is associated with like the exploration of each other's bodies um and you know uh just speaking from hardcore facts when a woman has a baby body changes not for the worst but what comes with that change is you you enter a different layer of of what love and chemistry and all that stuff feels and looks like yeah so basically what you're saying is you didn't fancy me for a few years postpartum i'm actually fine with that no but it didn't affect the love i had

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13:04Louise: Let's end it on one last question. yeah okay if you got lost in a supermarket where is the first place you'd look for me for you yeah i probably the um dark chocolate with orange twist infusion department the lint dark chocolate yeah sexy probably look for you there that's a good answer actually where would i look for you do you want to know what's i actually was having this conversation weirdly with my girlfriends the other day. They said they'd find me in the bloody tea aisle. I was a bit offended by that. Nothing wrong with tea. No, I know. We've become quite like the sort of habitual tea drinkers, haven't we?

13:44No, I always have. I've got a sort of 4 p.m. internal alarm where I'm like, it's about time for a cup of tea. Time for a brew. You, I think, always thought that tea was some sort of like poor person's drink or shabby option to something else. Whereas now you couldn't be more about a herbal tea or a chamomile or even a green tea i know you're still not one for a sort of breakfast builder's

14:06Louise: tea no i'm not like a tea with a milk kind of person i do think it reflects your upbringing a bit having said that i can't say that your dad your dad drinks earl grey but only now because he's become really old but i guess like the queen drank tea right so it has to be a posh thing it's not a posh thing it's the nation's drink is it it's very british isn't it yes i was not grown up around tea like there was not a lot of swilling you go to anywhere around my house or up north it's like fake posh though isn't it oh scones and tea i don't think it's you you're it's not that deep mate it's just a nice refreshing drink yeah okay but you wouldn't find me in the tea i'll okay well just to reassure you i've very much been brought up in like should we have a cup of tea and like scott next door he is always asking for like should we have a cup of tea in a chat it's just like i know that's good because you've been brought up having conversations where a stiff upper lip spoon and mouth would be no time for tea it's just work work work work work and then to bed like people that are posh don't have tricky conversations they brush everything under the rug not anymore though you're okay so seeing you in a supermarket is like seeing you read a bedtime story it's cute you get a basket and you'll like have a little poodle and then you'll sort of have a little look and stuff and you'll just i make the mistake quite like a random array of stuff most people go into a supermarket with a plan i go in with a completely empty noggin and i just end up like grabbing whatever looks appealing so you're like a ready steady cook like ryan will come back with like a cheese string a creme fresh you've never brought creme fresh like a chocolate you've never seen anyone eat before or purchase before like a random fruit and a piece and some toast and you're like what are you making with that that's quite cool that description is quite i'm happy with that you're happy with that yeah mate most people in the supermarket charge past me with like a list in their hand they've written on the back of a sort of receipt or something and i'm like i'm just never going to be that person it's fine go in with an empty head be creative get see what inspires you in the moment what bit of marketing genius has pulled you towards that like bright green dorito packet you'd be a sucker for that babe true that i like it i think i would find you in the bloody hair carol yeah looking for some what did you call your hair yesterday a microphone ryan's head is a microphone he actually made me speak into his head as if it was a microphone because your hair resembles that apparently.

16:47It's very hot and humid in London right now. My hair swells.

16:50Louise: So yeah, you like a bit of Aussie Miracle. You like like just tinkering with the hair products, even though we have an entire bed, an ottoman, which you can lift up, which I think actually just broke with all hair care products that we've very kindly been sent by brands. So please refrain from buying anything new in future. Great, suits me well. That's the end of our quickfire AUA. So I guess we'll see you on Wednesday Do you feel like you've got to know us better and our chemistry in the bedroom? Is that a question for me? No, that's a question for the audience. Please do DM. Cool. I think I prefer Wednesday.

17:26I'll see you on Wednesday.

17:27Louise: See you on Wednesday. Make sure to follow wherever you guys listen and give us a cheeky follow on our Instagram page. Do he said, she said. You'll see all of our cool clips. YouTube comes out on a Sunday. Happy days. I hope you have an absolute belter of a day. Toodaloo.

17:59Louise: Hey, it's your ceiling vent. So I'm dripping. Could be the rain. Could be the upstairs bathroom. Yikes. You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin. Do we know if he's licensed or does he just own a ladder? Listen to your home. Go with Thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack. We know homes. Hire the right pro today.