Dwight Howard: NBA Champion and 8x All Star

29:23And he said, why do you say that? I said, because I really feel like I'm the best. and he said well if you really feel that way you want to go to the NBA you got to sacrifice and you know I said you know what I'll do it I'll do whatever it takes and that's what I did every day I worked on my game every day I worked on my conditioning every day I did something to get better except I did not want to run track no which is crazy because now I love running track Oh you run track now? Yeah I didn't like to run on the track because I thought it wasn't cool and the last day I ran track it was at a track meet and it was a girl that I was like in love with at the time and you want to give her a shout out?

30:12What was her name? Look I can't remember her name. Start with an L. But she came to the track but I really didn't want to run that day so my dad said well you got take off your pants and you run with your shorts. But I didn't want to do it. So I decided to run the track race, the 400 meter, with some big sweatpants on. So every three, four steps, I was having to pull up my pants. And I got like second to last place. And then that's when I told my dad, Dad, I really don't like track. I just want to play basketball and baseball and football. Can I please do that instead of running track? And he let me do that.

30:51What would he say to you about outstanding being the norm? He said he used to impress upon you like outstanding being the norm. Well, for me, you know, he just told me to stay humble. And, you know, that was always my motto, you know, stay humble no matter what the situation is. And then I had a situation where I kind of got out of my character and I actually had to pay for it. I broke my leg. How did that happen? I was going up the dunk in practice one day and came down and it popped and swole up. And when it happened, the girls that I thought liked me stopped talking to me. The coaches and teams that I thought wanted me to go to college when I got a little bit older, they stopped calling.

31:48and I just saw a whole different, like a complete shift. Like people was like, oh, he's not going to make it, so let's leave him alone. And I promised myself after that I would never change. I would always stay humble. No matter what the situation is, no matter what I have, I would never boast or brag or talk about that stuff because, you know, it could all be taken away just like that. How old were you at the time? I was 15. How did that make you feel at the time when all these people that seemed interested in you? It hurt. It really hurt. But it taught me a valuable lesson. You know what I'm saying?

32:24Like I said, just always stay humble. And that's the lesson that I really try to, you know, teach my kids. You know, be humble no matter what's going on. What, if anything, do you remember your parents saying to you during that tough time? Well, I didn't express to them how tough it was. Oh, you didn't? No, I didn't. Did you tell anybody? No. Why not? Because I didn't want nobody to think I was weak. So I just kept it to myself. And it really bothered me because I was like, dang, like I really thought these people cared about me. And they didn't. You know, so that really hurt. And I found myself alone.

33:08And, yeah, I just promised myself I would never be that type person again. How did you get through it and how long did it take? How did I get through it? I watched a lot of White Shadow. Remember that show? I know. It was on ESPN, and White Shadows, a basketball show. There was a white guy who coached some black kids. It was like in the 70s or 60s, something like that. And I liked it. I watched it every day. It kind of kept me sane. And then I was able to work out in the pool. So that's what I did every day, just think about how can I make it to the next level and show everybody who doubted me that I am who I am.

33:45How is it possible to be the best high school player in America when your graduating class only has 16 kids? I never thought about it that way. I just wanted to enjoy my time, you know, enjoy that moment. High school was a lot of fun. I was the school president or co-president. My classmates were amazing, and we enjoyed ourselves. So we basically grew up together, you know. So I didn't want the fact that I was going or that my dream was to be going to the NBA, be the first pick, and being the best player in the nation. I didn't want my teammates or my classmates or anybody in my school to feel like I was cocky.

34:34So I literally never talked about it. I wanted to enjoy what we had because traveling, being on the team that I was on, We had the water boy, he was signing autographs. Our principal, she was signing autographs. It was so cool. I was like, man, this is an amazing feeling. Like, this is great for our school. We got the smallest school in Georgia. We only got 16 people in my class. Like, this is what it's about right here. At what point in your head did you establish that if you had the opportunity, you were gonna skip college and go straight to the NBA? Oh, when I was 10. When you were 10? Yeah.

35:11My dream was to go to the NBA straight out of high school. I didn't really want to go to college. And what did your parents think of that? My mom wanted me to go. My dad said, pursue your dream. But my mom thought it would have been good for me to go to college. But I was like, Ma, you go to college to learn how to earn a living. This is me earning a living. I think I've done pretty good with practice and stuff. Did she come around as you got closer? No, she still wanted me to go to college. And then I said, listen, I love you, but I want to go to the NBA. And she understood. But she said, well, are you going to go back?

35:51I said, yeah, I'm going to go back and visit all the colleges and tell them, hey, and thank you for sending me cards and want me to come to your school. I really appreciate it. And UNC really gave you their best job, right? That was the school I wanted to go to because they had a program for acting. and I thought they were really good basketball teams. Roy Williams? Yes, yes. Great guy, great coach. Took me to his house. He had like this old school Thunderbird that he thought that was the coldest car in the world. I'm like, this car ugly. But I didn't say nothing. It was fun though. I had a good time going to see some of the colleges that I did see, but I felt like my mission and my destiny is in the NBA.

36:38In what ways would you say you were sheltered when you entered the NBA? Well, coming from a school that only has 16 people, it's a lot of things we didn't know about. But just life in general, you know, it was my first time being on my own. You know, I think sometimes an advantage for people who go to college is that they get a chance to network, they get a chance to make those mistakes and still be a kid. but for me it was a little bit different. Coming in at 18, going to the NBA, now I'm playing with 30-year-olds. Now I'm playing for a franchise where it's a little bit different when you have just the principal and stuff like that and your coach.

37:23But now you have the GM, you've got the president, you've got the owner, you've got all these fans. At first it was a little overwhelming, but I enjoyed it. I tried to embrace every moment that I had. And, you know, even in every city, no matter how it ended, you know, I wanted to embrace all those moments. I mean, but how different pre-NBA was your kind of sheltered existence relative to this giant world? I didn't know anything. I didn't know nothing. Like what are examples of stuff that you were all of a sudden exposed to? Just like, you know, how to really take care of your money.

38:06Clubs. I never went to a club. Never had a chance to drink. Just little things that I was just learning about, you know, that I didn't really know existed until I got to the NBA. Why did your teammates who took you to a club for the first time vow to never take you again? Well, they just, we had a bad game, and I had one. and they just looked at me as the little bro. Like, we got to take care of little bro. So we went out one night in Toronto, and I thought it was fun. I had been out. I was dancing, having a good time, and the next day I didn't have a good game, and we got blown out. And they said, you're never going out again.

38:54You got to stay locked in. So after that, I never really went out no more. No matter what team I was on, I would only go out a little bit because I felt like I did not want to let my teammates down or myself. Your dad said what he was most surprised by when you got to the league was how polished people were in deception. He tried to warn you. Well, I think everyone goes through it. It's a situation where you don't know anything about money. You don't know how to spend. You know, you don't know any of that stuff. So I just think that, you know, despite what my dad, you know, would say about it, they did the best they could.

39:41You know, for me, there's a lot of things I didn't know. So I was able, people were able to deceive me. But, you know, I had to actually sit back and learn, you know, things like, you know, financial literacy. So now I could teach my kids. so I just look at all the positives that could come out of a situation like that yeah there's a lot of people who who are I call them Decepticons like the Transformers but there's a lot of people who are like that but it's a lot of really good people out there so it's like you can't really just got to find a balance you know and it's tough to find as a kid well it had to be a I mean a great learning experience for you what do you think some of the things were that had you known ahead of time that would have helped you through it?

40:29Just like I said, financial literacy. You know, it's not a course or anything that we took as kids to learn about our money. So I would really love to help, you know, teach kids and teach people in general, you know, how to be self, how to really just do things on their own. I think a lot of times we go, like for us, for NBA players, we're so busy that we put people in places, you know what I'm saying, for us while we play basketball. But I want my children, I want kids who are coming up who are trying to make it to the NBA and just people in general to learn how to be self-sufficient. You know, coming into a situation where you're getting tons of money at 18, you don't know what to do with it.

41:20You know what I'm saying? So I would want to turn that, I wouldn't say negative, but I guess it is kind of negative because I didn't know. But turn that into something positive by, you know, showing kids and showing even adults like, hey, it's never too late to learn. You know what I'm saying? So that's where I'm at with it. And there was, correct me if I'm wrong, there was like a couple year period where you didn't call your parents. To what extent was it because you just didn't want to hear? No, it had nothing to do with that. I just think sometimes in life, you know, it's nothing to do with family or you're mad at them, anything like that.

42:00But for me, I've never been on my own. You know what I'm saying? And so a lot of the situations that I've had, you know, I've had to learn how to handle them on my own and step up and be a man. And it was nothing ever against my parents. You know, I love them to death. And, you know, I just felt like there's things that I have to learn how to handle. If not, you know, I would never be able to level up. And we're live from the living room as Doug eyes up the matchday spread. He's reaching for the Buffalo wing. Perfect. Hang on, what's this? Oh, he's going for a can of Pepsi too. Incredible. What a finish.

42:40Sensational combination. Look at the delight on his face. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a pack of Pepsi Zero Sugar for today's match. It's poetry in motion. Per se. How do you tell them that at the time? It's very hard to tell, you know, your parents, you know, anything that they would feel or would hurt. But you just have to be upfront and honest. You know, that's one thing that I, you know, try to, you know, talk to my kids about. It's okay to communicate. Even if you feel a certain way, I will never get mad if you just come talk to me.

43:18And if you don't want to come talk, it's okay too. I'll be here when you're ready. I will never stop loving you. How did they handle that? I'm pretty sure my parents were probably hurt and felt a certain type of way about it but you know I would never do anything intentional to hurt my parents. How did you guys get through it? Just communication you know just spending time with each other just talking you know it's just like any other family you know I'm saying we all go through family issues and family things but at the end of the day you know you only get one mom you get one dad so one me this one this is my brother and my sister you know we We lost those seven kids, but my older brother passed away a couple years ago.

44:02So, you know, for me, I don't, the past, any issues, you know, it doesn't, I don't stick with it. You know, I let it go and just try to stay in the moment. You know what I'm saying? I think that's the best way. Was there a time that you made the conscious decision, all right, I got to pick up the phone or reach out to mom and death? I think all of us have issues in life that we sometimes have to deal with on our own. But I love my parents, regardless. I think they did an amazing job of raising me. So you're young, drafted first overall. You come into all this money. People, as you mentioned, kind of have ulterior motives.

44:50And I read you talked about, I mean, just what people that you thought were close to you were billing you for limos or plane time. You later found out was extraordinary. What were ways in which you later learned stuff like that was going on? Well, just really sitting back and paying attention. You know, a lot of times you have to get quiet. you have to get away from everybody just to kind of take yourself out of the situation so you can see what's going on and that's what I had to do. What did you see? What did you find out? Well just people are just going to be people you never know what people may need you know and I think a lot of times people talk about how you know they've been taken advantage of and stuff like that but for me I just took myself out of the situation and just try to see it from the other person's views.

45:49Why would they do this? You know, did they need this? There's something going on with them, you know, and I try to take it as I'm upset that they took from me because I was just the victim. You know, it could have been anybody, you know, but I was just that person at that moment that they decided, you know, are, you know, things decided to happen for them. So. And you're really like at that moment when you recognize it able to take a step back like that you have to you have to um no one thing i learned is you can't allow your emotions you know like i said earlier i'm i like i'm emotional when it comes to movies and stuff like that but when it comes to business when it comes to different things you got to be able to take your emotions out of the picture in order to fulfill uh what your destiny how do you go about addressing it with them and you don't have to you don't have You just, you know, when you see how somebody is, you just have to get them out your life.

46:44And sometimes it takes many, it takes many lessons. You know, I don't look at any situation that I've had in regret. Because these could be like family or close friends. It could be family, friends, anybody. I don't look at it in that, in a negative way. It was something for me to learn out of each situation. Even if it was good or bad, you know, it was a way for me to learn. You know, I don't see it as a loss. You know, I see it as something that I needed in order for me to get to the next level. If you had to guess, how much do you think has been taken from you money-wise over the years? To be honest, you know, it's just material.

47:25It doesn't really matter, you know, how much was taken, who took it, how it was taken. Because I'm in such a great place now, you know, maybe I needed that to get me to where I'm at today. So I don't look at it in a bad way. How so? Because all of us go through different things in life in order for us to get to the next level. In basketball, for example. If you win all the time, you never know what it feels like to lose. And so when some people lose, you see how they act. You look at fighters, for example. Somebody who's never been knocked out. After they get knocked out, they're never the same.

48:04because they've never had their chin checked. They've never had an issue. They've never had a problem. And now people know how to beat them. And until they solve that, they might end up going through it again. So there's issues that I've had that have been reoccurring. Like what? Just, you know, just different things with people. But I won't allow that to affect me in a negative way to where I won't talk to people. I still won't, you know, trust people. I just know, hey, you have to take control of everything that you do in your life. And if it's reoccurring, what do you think you allowed to continue to happen?

48:42Just trust. I think in the industry that we have, a lot of players tend to trust a lot of the wrong people because we don't know, because we don't have the information. And once we have it, it's a choice on us to what we're going to do with it. but for somebody that came into the league at 18, despite everything that has happened, I think that I put myself in a pretty good position, you know, despite all the things that anybody could say. I have no regrets. Every lesson that I needed was for me and only me, so I'm looking forward to just the growth that, you know, I've been having. I'm looking forward to more.

49:29I want to try to grow. My motto now is try to win every day. All right, wait, I got to ask this. What did your dad say when all this was going on? Saturday, when I was talking to him, he's an emotional guy. He is, as any parent would be. They don't want anybody to take advantage of their kids or anything like that. And I would expect him to be emotional. He's like, man, when I was managing Dwight's Money, we met every two weeks. Well, you know, that's how my dad is. You know, he just wants to make sure that, you know, everything is on point. But at some point, you know, we all have to go away from the litter.

50:09And as much as I love my parents, you know, I have my own life and my own family that, you know, I have to lead. You know, and my dad is always going to be there. But for me, I'm in a different place in my life. And I have I always, you know, will listen to my dad, you know. But when it comes to certain things, I think pretty much now I've gotten a hold of it. The media business. How did the idea come about to get into film and media? I've always wanted to. I love acting. I don't have a problem being in front of a camera. I'm not nervous or shy. So it was just natural for me. I love movies. take my kids to the movies a lot.

50:59After each movie, I would go in the mirror and practice my favorite actor and what they did and what they said and try to implement that, kind of like what I did with basketball. And that's how I wanted to get in the industry. I love acting. I've done some things with Disney. I love voiceovers. One of my favorite shows that I did was called Kick Butowski. I was a cartoon character. My name was Rock Callahan. And I was kind of like the superhero for kick. And it was pretty cool. I enjoy that stuff. I enjoy inspiring in any way I can. What sort of stuff like that would you like to do more of? Oh, man, I want to be like my favorite actor, Dwayne Johnson.

51:44He's my favorite person. He's like my role model, Dwayne Johnson, the rock. What do you like about him? Just he has a range now. He can be the tough bully cop. He could be a bad guy, a funny bad guy. He could be a dad. Just the range that he has had over the years, I've seen him grow. And I like that. You know, he went from one field of entertainment, killed it. He had the eye. I still can't do the eye. But he had an awesome, he did, he was an amazing, he was amazing in wrestling. Decided to leave. Now he's one of the highest paid actors in the industry. And are there steps you're taking now to try and set yourself up for this?

52:36Yes, acting classes. just really just trying to get in on the production side so I can learn. I like to write as far as write plays and stuff like that. So I just want to expand on that. You know, I feel like as a professional athlete, you know, they try to just put us in the box. You play basketball, this is all you can do. You play football, this is all you can do. That's not true. and I won't allow myself to fall in that category. As a kid, we were all taught that we could be whatever we want to be. And it's like when you get older, it's like, no, you can't do this, you can't do that. I'm like, why?

53:23I just want to be. I can be this, I can be that. So I just want to go do it. A couple projects I wanted to ask you about. Percy. Tell me about that one. Ah, well, just to have a guy like Christopher Walken on the movie is like crazy. That's the first thing. But to just produce a movie, like this is like a dream come true. You know, and I'm super excited to be a part of the production company, the production team. And I can't wait to see a movie that I produce in theaters. I think that that's cool. As much as I go to the movies just to sit back and watch the credits and see my name, you know, that's like an honor.

54:08And given how much, you know, you were in love with candy forever, it's kind of funny what the topic's about too, right? Yes. That is, that's, yeah. I don't want to talk about candy because I'm hungry. What attracted you to the script? Just the fact that, one, I have a farm, and the story, the storyline that goes with Percy, I think it fits with everything that I'm trying to do as far as with the farm, as far as making sure that I provide the right type of food, vegetables, and stuff like that for people. And I think this is a great way to show the creativity, but also the thought process of coming up with a good movie.

54:59I think my business partner, who's done most of the legwork for this movie, has done an amazing job. So I'm very thankful to have a good business partner that understands that you got basketball, you got to get healthy. We're going to make this work. How did it get presented to you? Because you made an investment in the movie. I made an investment first with the production company. Me and my partner, we have a production company. And when we were asked about being a part of the film, there was no hesitation, mainly because of the connection with Christopher. And it was like a no-brainer. It was a no-brainer.

55:46How do you make a return on an investment like that? It's over a couple years. It depends on if Netflix buys it. Okay. It depends on how well it does in box office if it goes to theaters and get past the second round. And like how, when you're being presented this, how do you determine like this is a risk worth taking? I was told one day, I was meeting with people from Disney, and they told me that the guy who made Walt Disney, he said that it's great risk, great reward. And I always use that motto for everything. You know, if you want something great, you have to risk a lot to get it. And that's what he did.

56:32He put Walt Disney, he put everything he had into making Mickey Mouse. And look what happened. It became Disney World, Disneyland, Walt Disney Studios. So I want to try to take that same approach and just stay positive. And, you know, hopefully by the time both of us are in our 60s, We'll have a couple movies and this episode today will be great. How often are you reading scripts? I just read a couple scripts a couple weeks ago. And right now the main focus is just basketball. Your goals with the production company long term would be what? As far as the production company, I look at a guy like Tyler Perry.

57:27You said you have somebody like him on your team. Like Tyler Perry, yes. Well, Kellen is similar to Tyler Perry. That's my business partner when it comes to the production company. So he is kind of like the young version of Will Packer. And Tyler Perry is somebody that's been in Atlanta. I've watched how he took Diary of a Mad Black Woman from the play. to the big screen, to now he's making movies in 14 days, and that's like his motto, I gotta make a movie in 14 days. So he is like one of my role models as far as the production side. So you got Dwayne Johnson and Tyler Perry. It's like, it's perfect.

58:14What do you think the biggest misconception is that people have of you? Well, I think it's a lot of them. One that I don't really take the game serious. Very immature. Jokes too much. Just a lot of things that I've heard. And the one thing that I really hated was just hearing people say I was a cancer in the locker room or I'm not good to have around teammates. That really, it really, it really affected me for a while. How did it affect you? Because it's not me. You know, I just would think like, how could somebody who's won community assist awards be told by everybody that you have a great character, people person.

59:02but all of a sudden bad in the locker room it's just like it doesn't go together you know so that that really got me you know one year I got teammate of the year and then the same summer like he's a bad teammate and so I'm like this does not add up there's no way somebody could be the teammate of the year but a bad teammate you know so it was like where's this stuff coming from and it really had me in a place where it was like, man, this is not me. But it had me so upset where, you know, I really didn't want to, you know, be around just people in general because I'm like, man, they're going to think I'm a bad person.

59:40So I might as well just hide. Really? Yeah, I didn't like it. Well, like, were you depressed? I wouldn't say I was depressed, but I just didn't like the fact that my character and, was being questioned. Who I am as a teammate was being questioned by people who've never been in a locker room. Yeah, that's what I was going to say because I'm about as far removed from the NBA as one can get, so I only know what I read in our research packet. But you read media stories, which you never know if it's true or not, but teammates cheering when you get traded. When you read stuff like that, like how does it uh make you feel well i just or do you just think like that's bs i did and i was just trying to figure out what person would do that because i was really cool with my teammates you know i've never been a bad teammate i've never been that guy like like i said there's no way somebody could be the community assist player of the year in the community and be a bad teammate just doesn't go together.

1:00:49You know what I'm saying? So that really affected me. I didn't like that. You know what I'm saying? So when I would hear it and see it, I would get upset. But now it's just like, man, I wish people would understand. That's never been me. I've never been a bad teammate. I don't even know how to be a bad teammate. I don't know how to be a bad person. Because I'm just not who I am. So I would love to just continue to try to convey that message. I think people just see it as me just talking because I'm trying to get something, you know, get on a team or, you know, get in people's good graces. But no, I just don't understand, like, where, you know, that would come from.

1:01:40So, you know, I want to just change that whole narrative. I want to run through a handful of players, instances, and then kind of what you learned from it looking back. The first one is actually a game, but it has to do with Kobe Bryant. Lakers-Celtics, February 2013 game in Boston. We lost that game, I think. I think I just got back from, it was my first game back from tearing my lay room. That was a very tough game. For one, looking back on it, I shouldn't have played, but I think I allowed what was being said in the media and the whole circus around that season affect my judgment. Playing with a torn labrum is no joke.

1:02:28There's a lot of guys who have surgeries. They miss a whole season. And I play every game except six with a torn labrum. and I remember that day like it was yesterday. What about it? Just the whole day was crazy. Just seeing, you know, what the media was saying. Did you ask Kobe about your injury? Just little things, and I'm like, this doesn't add up. It's like somebody's trying to sell a story that's not true. So it did affect me at the time. I think that game was really harsh on me because I wasn't really ready, but I wanted to shut people up. How much did his comments bother you? I don't think it was more so his comments.

1:03:19I think it was more so just all the tension that came with me getting hurt. You know what I'm saying? And at the time, you know, I was upset that he would do that because I would expect, you know, him to, you know, just protect, you know, his teammate. And he basically said publicly that you should be playing through the injury? Yeah, he did. But it's okay. Everything happens for a reason. You know, I needed that lesson. I needed to learn something from it to develop thicker skin. Why do you think when you first came to the Lakers, people were telling you, like, you need to know Kobe still wants to be the star?

1:04:00I don't know. I guess they felt like I wanted to come and do whatever to the team. But for me, I wanted to learn from all the guys who came before me. I was looking forward to playing with Kobe, playing with Powell, playing with Antoine, Jameson, Steve, Nash, because I wanted to soak up as much knowledge as I can from those guys because they played in the league longer than me. And I knew that Kobe was one of those players that's about to transition out of the NBA. So it was like, man, I could learn a lot from this guy. And I want to be that guy. You know, when he leaves, I want him to be able to say, Dwight here, you know, take over.

1:04:36You know, that's all I wanted. You know, I just wanted to learn, you know, soak up as much knowledge as possible. That way, when it's my time, I can get that knowledge to somebody else. And then he comes out much later on, makes some comment about how, you know, Dwight's uncomfortable being around people who want to win. Why do you think it didn't work out the way you wanted it? I just think injuries. Injuries can make or break a team. You know, when somebody gets injured or when multiple guys get injured, the morale of the team just drops. And I think that's just what happened. You know, then you add the circus of playing for the world's most famous team.

1:05:19You add that part in, you know, and the fact that we weren't winning like everybody expected. You know, it was just crazy from that standpoint. But overall, man, I enjoyed playing in L.A. I enjoyed playing in the Staples Center. I thought the fans were really good. It was a lot of fun. You know, I remember hitting a 3-1 game and the crowd going crazy. And I just ran down the court like, ah, hit a 3, and they was just going crazy. So I enjoyed my time there. and I enjoy going back when, you know, when they boo me and stuff like that. You know, I enjoy it. I do. It doesn't, it's not like, you know, I don't take it as something bad, but, you know.

1:06:02What about that first time when you were playing against him again? It was no problem. He did some choice words. He did, but, you know, I understand, like, what his mission probably would be. That's just to get in my head. And at the time, I allowed him to. And I had to learn from that lesson. Yeah, just allow all that stuff to roll off your back. Just keep going. You know the punches have come. You know people are going to say this and that to try to affect what you are doing on the court. And at that time, I did allow it to affect me, and I'm a lot better now. And how do you get in a place where you're able to more comfortably take it or let stuff rile you up?

1:06:45Like I said, you've got to take the emotions out of it. and look at it for what it is. This is my will, this is my destiny. Nothing else matters, no matter what you say, what he says, what anybody says. You just have to be who you want to be and live that way and play that way and not allow somebody's projection, what they're projecting on you to affect who you are. All right, I have to ask you about this one too and forgive me. Stan Van Gundy, the interview, Take me through what you recall from that moment. Ah, man, it just felt weird that, you know, that whole day, wake up, go to practice, come out, shoot around.

1:07:33And as I'm walking out, about to go to my car, like, hey, Stan's over there talking. One of the reporters, Brian Smith, she says, Stan, you should go over there and give Stan a hug and let everybody know y 'all are cool. And I'm like, cool. I don't have no problem with staying, so I go over there and do it. And then he walks away real fast. And then they ask me, hey, you want to stay on fire? And I'm like, oh, man, this is crazy. Why would they do this? And that day just, it was crazy that day. I couldn't sleep before the game. I had one of the worst games in my career against the New York Knicks.

1:08:10I'll never forget it. I got booed in Orlando the whole game. and it didn't feel good. But I said, you know what? Even back then I told myself, you gotta survive the lies. That's all you gotta do. And he had, at the time, just told the media that he learned from management that you wanted him gone. Yeah, it was kind of crazy that that happened that way because I never said that to the management. I told the management alone, hey, I would like to get traded. I just want to start over. I feel like I'm too comfortable here in Orlando. I have everything I want. This is great. I'm happy. I'm thankful.

1:08:56But I want to grow up. I've been here forever. And it was nothing against Stan. It was nothing against anybody on my team because the two first people I called was the GM and Jameer Nelson, favorite teammate. I told him, hey, I love you. I just want to go change for my life. And you'd said to the team that you thought like he lost the ear. Yeah, I think I felt, you know, that he had lost the ear of the team. Right. And that was just my opinion. And it was, correct me if I'm wrong, like your hope that they made a change, but then four or five weeks later they let you know that wasn't going to happen.

1:09:32I just want it for myself. It had nothing to do with Stan. You know what I'm saying? And I did tell them that I felt like he lost his voice and he lost their ear. But for me, I wanted to change. You know, I was in Orlando from 17. That's all I knew. It's the biggest city I've ever seen. So now it's like, man, I just want more. I just want to, I wanted to grow. I felt like I had hit a place where I needed, I was getting stagnant. and I wanted to grow. There was a lot of yes men and just people just doing whatever, you know, for me. And I felt like, no, I want to grow. It had nothing to do with anybody in Orlando or the team or anything like that.

1:10:18When you watched that clip, that press conference clip, what was your reaction? Why did Stan do that? That one? Yeah, that's what I was saying. You know, like, why would Stan do that? Now everybody in the world is going to hate me for that. And, you know, at the time it hurt, but, you know, like I said, man, it's just one of those things that just made me stronger. To what extent do you ever wonder, you've said a million times, you always get the question, do you wish you would have stayed in Orlando? To what extent, though, do you ever wonder how it would have played out had you stayed in Orlando?

1:10:56I don't. I don't look back at it. Because I think that would be a problem. to continue to look backwards and you're trying to move forward. That's why rearview mirrors are this big. And the other mirrors, the other window is really big because you're supposed to keep looking forward. So I don't regret it, you know. If I stayed in Orlando, maybe I don't have my five beautiful kids that I got. Maybe I don't have this house that we're doing the interview with. You know what I'm saying? So I don't regret or look back at any of the things that I did because it was all a part of the plan that led me to this moment today.

1:11:37And, I mean, I was, before the interview, I was counting up the number of teams that you've been to since then. And, I mean, you've moved around a lot, I think, you know, whether you stay with Memphis or, you know, go somewhere else. I think that will be seven or eight teams in eight years. How hard has that movement just been on you personally? Just moving from city to city, that's tough. You know what I'm saying? But the toughest part is just trying to outlive lies. You know, that's the part. I can stay in any city. Just give me a bed and a basketball. And you've mentioned that a few times now, outlive the lies.

1:12:19It gets to you. It doesn't get to me now, but it has affected, you know, how teams view me. It has affected how people view me and even companies, franchises. So for me, it's just, like I said, outliving a lie. Why do you think it's affected how teams view you? Well, because people have said things and, you know, it's gotten back to the media or just whatever it may be. It's just made teams feel like we don't need that problem. And I'm not a problem. But this is something that has been said. and now I have to outlive that you know I'm saying because the truth always will set people free but people are afraid of it partying I want to read a quote you gave a couple years back when just kind of reflecting on that you said quote you're young you're on TV and all these beautiful women are coming up to you there's no comparison but at the time I felt like a kid who's never had candy in his whole life and suddenly is given all the candy he could ever want.

1:13:25If you're still just a kid, which I was, you're like, give me more. It became an issue. How so? Well, I just think anybody who you, if you would have came into the NBA at 18 and you was able to see the world that we see, this fantasy world that we see, big houses, big cars, beautiful everything. I mean, as an 18-year-old kid that's never seen nothing that came from a situation where you never have anything, of course you're going to want more and more and more. But sometimes less is more. And that's a lesson that all of us have to go through at some point in our life. Mine just didn't come when everybody else's came.

1:14:08Or for me, my whole life and all our entertainers, athletes, whatever, our lives, everything that we do is being seen by the world. so like our mistakes we people watch us grow up so they see the mistakes we make and we get judged for it you know i'm saying so um i mean i don't think it's nothing i could do but just continue to be who i am back then you know i thought different that's just everybody the way you probably thought yesterday is probably different from today i mean if you know 18 year old should be given a ton of fame and a ton of money regardless we can't say that we can't say No, I mean, it's just like you're bound to make decisions that you would.

1:14:50Well, I just think that you have to think about it on any level. Just if you're five and you went into a candy store and you like candy, your favorite candy is? Snickers. Snickers. All right. So you're six years old. You walk into Mars. I think that's the company that makes Snickers. And they say you can have as much Snickers as you want. What are you going to do? you're gonna eat one you know you're not right you're gonna go get as many snickers as you can because you've never had it but you never had this type of experience so you know for people to judge somebody or any of us who are entertainers or sports whatever it may be for a decision that we made you know i'm saying this could have been an ignorant for us it could have been ignorance we didn't know so what was the thinking then back then when it pertained to dating or women um I'm young.

1:15:46I've never experienced none of this stuff. You know what I'm saying? It's just part of my growth. It made me who I am today. It made me want to be the man that I am today. You said in the quote there was an issue. Like, what happened that made you realize, I need to change my ways? Well, I wouldn't say it was an issue. I just think that the way I thought back then, I probably looked at it as an issue. But I don't see it as an issue now. I think it was just a part of the growth that I needed to go through. Like I said, all of us go through it. But for NBA players, entertainers, rappers, it's a fantasy world.

1:16:26It's like a fantasy. So, you know, if you're somebody that's never had this type of fantasy, it's like your eyes are wide open now. It's like, whoa, this is amazing. And I'm pretty sure everybody would make a mistake if they had the opportunities that we would have. And, you know, at some point, you have to learn from them. Why did the first time you had a child make you feel like your faith was challenged? Because that's how we were raised. You know, we were raised that if you have a child, that it's bad. and you know as I got older you know I kind of understand that it weren't trying to protect us from having a kid just the things that can come with you know not being married and having a child with somebody those things that you never had a kid before you wouldn't know and after you have one or two or three then you kind of you kind of understand certain things.

1:17:30You have five kids. Correct. Five different partners. How challenging is it to create the same family environment that you enjoyed growing up? Actually, when my kids are here, they get that environment. You know what I'm saying? They get that family, get that whatever they would need from their father. I try to be that for them. Not knowing how to raise a kid and trying to learn on the fly was something I think when people talk about not having kids before you get married, are you ready? I think that that part is something that I want to really instill with my kids. Make sure that you are established, make sure you love yourself, make sure you're responsible for your actions before you bring another child into the world.

1:18:18You know, so that's something that I didn't know at a young age, but I'm glad I did. You know, despite five moms and stuff like that, I'm glad that I have my five children. They're the best thing that happened to me. What's the crash course in parenting that that requires? I mean, every day you learn something new. You know, for me, it's 10 personalities that I'm dealing with. What do you mean? Five kids, so their personalities, and not dealing with, but their moms as well. So it's just learning how to co-parent, also being a serious relationship. And it can be difficult at times, but for me it's just every day, like I said, try to win the day.

1:19:07Try to learn how to be a better father, even a better co-parent, which can be tough, because I mean I never had kids before this so you know I didn't know what to do. And how do you create for a positive dynamic with the other parents? One is communication and it can be hard at times because it's two ways you can look at it from the mother's point of view they carried this child for eight nine months they feel like this is theirs you know so just trying to balance that part It's our kid and this is how we should try to handle this. But that's something that we're all still in the process of learning.

1:19:54It's not something that's easy. If somebody just had one kid, that's their experience. So they're learning on the fly how to raise that child. What would you say is the best part of fatherhood? Every part is the best part. Even when things might not go right. It's just having, like, seeing that kid face, you know what I'm saying, just the smile, the hugs, the I love you, Daddy. Like, that's, like, amazing just for your daughter or your son just to say I love you, Dad. Like, that's bigger than life. It's better than me dunking the ball a million times on somebody or blocking a shot or doing all that.

1:20:36Just having my daughter give me a hug and say I love you. that's like the world. How do you think you've grown through parenthood? Just being more understanding and realizing that, you know, my kids, they're learning themselves. And the fact that I have five kids, you know, it's just like, it's different personalities. So I have to really reach each kid where they're at, You know, and that's sometimes for me playing with, you know, being around grown men and stuff like that. I have to go back and really just show my kids. And, you know, sometimes that can be a little difficult. Would you have any more?

1:21:23Yes, no doubt. How many more? Well, when I get married, as many as my wife wants. It's a big family. It is a big family, but we got to bring family back. Family is important in our culture and our society. So I want to help be the catalyst for, you know, having strong family values. You know, you look at the different cultures that we see overseas, their tradition that they have in their families is just something that would be great to have over here in America. And I think that we have to, you know, one, fathers, myself, I speak for myself, just step up, you know what I'm saying, and just be that, bring that family atmosphere back, that family ties, love, all that stuff.

1:22:14Bring it back, the purpose, all that. Religion. How would you explain the role it plays in your life? Well, I would say I'm not a religious person. You used to be, though, right? I did. Very religious person. What changed? Just knowledge, just gaining more knowledge and understanding more about myself. And I think that's really kind of grounded me and helped me become, you know, the man that I am today. How so? Just understanding more about what the Bible and the different books, different books, the Koran, the Vita, just different books that kind of just basically talked about the same thing.

1:23:01the mind, how powerful the mind is, how powerful we are as human beings if we use our minds in the right way. You know, and learning those different things has kind of helped me as far as being who I am, like I said. How did you come to the realization that you really weren't religious anymore? Just trying to gain more knowledge, spending time alone, meditating, learning about myself tying in what was in the Bible and actually learning what a lot of those things meant. Was there anything from your readings of the various books that really stuck out to you? Yeah. It's a scripture in the Bible that says the kingdom of heaven is inside of you.

1:23:51And for a while, I couldn't really understand what that meant. And it's like now I get it. You know, the kingdom of heaven, everything that you want is inside of you, your mind. And in order to see it, you have to go in first. You have to go inside yourself to get that kingdom. Heaven is inside of you. Confidence. Explain the role confidence plays in your life. I think confidence, man. It's been a pretty big word to you. It's a very big word. I think it should be a big word for everybody. I think we all struggle with something in life where we're not confident in. And once we understand, like I said, how powerful we are, how powerful our minds are, then there shouldn't be nothing that we can't accomplish.

1:24:52You know, and I think you've got to have that confidence. The person inside you is greater than anything else. In what ways do you think you've struggled with confidence over the years? Not realizing that, that it all starts in my head. And it really can take a while, you know, for a lot of people to understand that. And once I did, it just made me more of a confident, just a man, just more confident in who I am. And not worried about the losses or the things that have happened before. Not allowing my ego to drive how I live my life. I think that's where my confidence comes from. How much did that at the time or lack of confidence play into why you would occasionally call friends at halftime asking about your role play?

1:25:49I just did that in general. Oh, okay. Yeah, me and my girl, we both do it. We text each other, you know what I'm saying? Hey, what did you think about this? How did I look here? You know, it's just you want to make sure that when you're playing, you're being great, you know what I'm saying? You're doing everything good, you know. So you always want to have people that you can just talk to and, hey, just hold me accountable. So that's kind of what it is. When was your confidence the least and how much has it grown since then? I would say my confidence was shook after I left L.A. and got to Houston just because of all the things that were going on.

1:26:28I had super high confidence in Orlando. So with a lot of things that happened, I started to lose confidence in myself and my personality. I lost all type of confidence. I didn't want to smile no more. You know, all that stuff was starting to happen. In Houston, confidence was just going down. I was watching YouTube videos of myself like, dang, I was nice. Like, who is he? But it was a phase that, you know, I think a lot of players go through where you feel like you're not good enough. And, you know, you really got to get along and find that spark again. Why didn't you think you were good enough?

1:27:20Just the different situations that was happening, the stuff that was being said. I'm a bad teammate. I'm a cancer. I just, all that stuff started to weigh in on me. So how do you rebound from that and build the confidence and regain it? My ego. Just let it go. But, I mean, you still had an ego then. Yeah, and I didn't let it go. So I wasn't able to be as confident. How do you let it go? It has to die. It's something that we all have to die to every day in order for us to win that day or be successful. So what does the ego tell you to do that you'll refrain from doing? Well, no, it's just every day I have to die to my old self, my thought process, the food that I used to eat.

1:28:10The way I, you know, like I said, the way I thought, you know, you have to kill that. You have to, if I want to move forward, if I want to be this man, this person, then all that other stuff has to go out. And was there a thinking that would get you in trouble? I mean, being 18, being able to have anything you want, it's hard to let stuff go. And I think once I was able to let all that stuff go and realize that the only thing that matters is the moment that I'm in right now. All the stuff that I have is great, and I'm grateful for it. I'm thankful. But it happened. It's over with. And I have to try to win the day that I'm in now, that moment.

1:28:59Just that's the only thing that matters. All right, so explain the smile. The smile? Well, I was always taught to smile and never let nobody see you hurt. So then I just fell in love with smiling. I had a teacher in high school, not high school, but middle school. She was really fine. Her name was Miss Austin. She was super fine. and I was about to get braces and I was like I don't think I want to get braces because I'm gonna look ugly and she was like boy don't you know after you had them braces off yo you're gonna have the best smile in the world oh I can't wait to see it I was like oh okay I wore braces until I went to the NBA I kept those braces I wanted my teeth to be really straight after that So, yeah, I love to smile, and it's good for your body.

1:29:52And didn't your dad tell you to stop smiling once only to later correct himself? He did. One season, I think I was about 12 years old, and I would always be smiling on the court because people were trying to get me off my game, and I'm like, they can't. You can't stop me. You can't beat me. I'm just going to smile and have fun. And he said I was smiling too much. And I said, how am I smiling too much? Like, I love what I'm doing. Like, this is my piece. This is the only thing I got. Like, why can't I have fun doing it? He said, you need to take it serious. I'm like, I am taking it serious. I just, I'm having fun.

1:30:34Like, this is actually fun, going out there, shaking people. You know what I'm saying? Crossing people up. All that stuff was fun to me. And then I tried it his way one game. Well, I didn't smile. I didn't have fun. And I played one of the worst games of my life. And then he came back and said, you know what? You need to smile. It looks better on you. What are your philanthropy goals? Changing the world. That's my goal. That sounds unambitious. What do you mean? I'm kidding. No, I just want to change the world. Well, not just change people's thought process from inside out. I think a lot of the people that I've met, we're afraid to be who we are.

1:31:27We're afraid to just be because we're afraid of what people are going to say about us. We're afraid of how they're going to look at us. We're just afraid, and there's no need to be. You know what I'm saying? So I want to be able to help people just see you don't have to hide whatever it is. Just be who you are. You don't have to justify it to nobody. You don't have to explain why you like this. Just be who you are and enjoy who you are because you only die once. You live every day. So why are you worried about what everybody is saying about you? Just live. Just be. How about the most satisfying charitable experience you've had?

1:32:15Doing events and, you know, just having kids or adults or whatever it is, just say thank you and that they really appreciate it. I think time is more important. Spending time with people is more important than any monetary gift you could give, you know, especially in charity. Even though it's good, but just spending time, I think this is a lot of times it's underrated. You know what I'm saying? You can learn so much. You can get so much accomplished by just spending time with the people that you're trying to give back to. I want to end with this. When you one day undoubtedly go into the Hall of Fame, what's the likelihood you go in as a Magic?

1:32:57You know what? However it happens, I'll be grateful. I've had some wonderful years in the NBA despite however those situations may have ended. It was a lesson each year. So when it's time for me to hopefully be in the Hall of Fame, I'll be super excited. I'm going to shed some tears and I'm going to give you a toast. What do you want your legacy to be?

1:33:33uh my legacy as basketball player um either or he did what he said he was gonna do that's it thank you very much you're welcome if you're interested in more from our time with dwight howard he gave me a tour of his estate and that clips racked up nearly six million views on our YouTube channel, which you can find at youtube.com slash Graham Bensinger. His house has five kitchens, 20 HVAC units, and he busts out a really strong Shaq impression along the way. And if you enjoyed this podcast, or even if you didn't, you can offer us some constructive criticism. Please consider sharing your thoughts within a podcast review.

1:34:18My team and I welcome the feedback. Thanks for listening.