Oksana Masters: The Ukrainian government said I died in the orphanage | Trending Now

0:00Oksana Masters:Hey guys, Graham here. It's Friday, which means we get to share with you another one of our most popular clips from a past interview. This week, Oksana Masters. The clip you're about to hear is trending on our Instagram right now. Hope you enjoy. You mentioned going back to Ukraine. Take me through the aggressive helpers, unwanted efforts to attempt to reconnect you with your birth family on that trip.

0:29Graham Bensinger:A little back story to that was Ukraine's trying to get rid of orphanages and do more of what America is doing and Western culture is doing, which is foster care systems, so what kids are learning what home environments are like. I was going to share my story and the power of adoption and how it helped me from Ukraine. I said I'll go to Ukraine. I'm not ready to meet my family. I don't want this to be one of those moments where they make this moment happen because I'm not ready. I still have too much anger in my mind and I just don't even know. They said, okay, this ombudsman for adoptions comes in very late and, oh, I'm so sorry, Oksana, I'm sorry I'm late.

1:10Graham Bensinger:I just got off the phone with your birth parents. They want to meet you. You have two brothers. Did you know this? And I had no idea. I didn't know they were alive. I didn't know I had two birth brothers. That next day, I had to do an interview and they were screening. They found like, he was like, I have pictures. And I didn't ask to look at the picture. They were ready to get on the train to meet me that night, that day. It was like realizing, holy s***, my birth parents do exist. This is something I have always wanted. I didn't want it in that moment. I'm not ready for it. I ended up not talking and crying that whole night instead.

1:52Graham Bensinger:and the next day I was at an event talking they had to like screen all the people that were coming and visitors that were coming to forward that talk to make sure that none of my parents were going to show up or my biological family in any way that night my birth brother the younger one reaches out through Facebook. And then I'm up all night in the bathroom and my mom's trying to sleep. It's our last night in Ukraine talking.

2:21Oksana Masters:What were the answers that were provided to some of the questions that you had?

2:27Graham Bensinger:Well, so like I was skeptical. Are you who you are, who you say you are? And I asked them of what my birth father's name is and what his patron name, like his middle name was. And for me, it's Aleksandrovna, which is daughter of Alex. And that's how you can pinpoint where you are in the family chain and tree kind of thing. And he knew that. So he said, you would be Aleksandrovna. No one knew my name in Ukrainian at all. It was me literally interrogating him of, like, who's so-and-so? What were the birthdays? Where were they born? The way he was like, we want to meet you. We don't want cameras around.

3:14Graham Bensinger:I knew there was something like real there because it wasn't just for a publicity thing. Like we both mutually did not want to make that at that time, like a story of that moment.

3:26Oksana Masters:You believed after all the answers were provided that this was your birth family. I did.

3:32Graham Bensinger:I did. And, but there's a part of me that's still a little bit like,

3:40Graham Bensinger:I wouldn't ask him for a blood test just because, like, are you? And that was just, like, in some ways, it made me so angry, and in some ways it was a relief to know they're still alive, that this dream I do have of meeting them one day can still happen, and I can meet them.

3:59Oksana Masters:Why did it make you so angry?

4:01Graham Bensinger:Just because, why now? why were they so willing to come now to see me instead of why would they leave me there? And I assumed they knew what I was living through. I thought they went and scouted where they're going to drop me off. And they didn't want me then. Why want to see me now? And that made me angry. At the same time, like, excited that they're around and that something I've been wanting for my whole entire life, I can actually achieve and see and get and learn. But then it's one of those things, I don't know if you've ever been in a position where you want something for so long and you dream of it for so long and you realize, okay Graham, tomorrow morning you're gonna get your dream, you're gonna achieve it.

4:50Graham Bensinger:And it made me not want it all of a sudden. Like it made me question, wait, did I like the idea of being curious more than actually meeting them? And then I was just confused again.

5:06Oksana Masters:How was it explained to you why you were put up for adoption?

5:12Graham Bensinger:My middle brother, he was explaining to me that the first race, the cross-country long distance, the silver medal in Sochi, is where the Ukraine News does this whole deep dive of my story of put up for adoption, born this, parents abandoned her, all in Ukrainian. My birth mom is doing dishes in the back and hears a loud noise because she drops all the dishes. And he's like, what's going on? And he said that she froze. And after a while, she told them that before they were born, they had a daughter. but they had to give me away because I was told, they were told I was not going to make it and I was going to die.

6:03Graham Bensinger:And so that was the best life for me. Give me a chance at life was to give me away to the government. The crazy thing I found this whole time, I was so angry at my birth family this whole time, that I found out that's how I got my name. So she did not want to give me away. And the government and the hospitals encouraging her to do so. And then she said, okay, well, if I cannot be her mother, I'm going to give something of myself. And that's how I got my name. Her name's Oksana, so she named me after her. So there's something of her in me. and then she decided so then they relinquished me to the government I later learned she changed her mind they both my dad and my mom both changed their mind and wanted to go to that orphanage to get me but they were told I died to stop coming because they tried a couple times and so finally told them I died she thought I was dead the whole entire time until she hears this story on the news in Sochi of my first medal with my name being translated to my birth name entirely to the date that I was born.

7:19Graham Bensinger:And that's how she finds out, oh, s***. Yeah, and then they were slapped with a bill because when I was adopted, the government went back to them and said, oh, you owe this money because your child was in the orphanage system. Even though I was about to die, and I would not have made it until past 10 years old in that orphanage. And I started slowly realizing like this, I think I made this story of being so angry and hating them because it's easier to deal with hate and anger than it is with compassion in some ways and sadness and loss and regret and stuff. So I told myself this thing because it was easier to deal with.

8:05Graham Bensinger:And I felt so guilty for being so mad at them for something that I didn't even know. And then started thinking from their perspective, I can't imagine giving away a child you never wanted to give away. And the only way you find out that they're still alive after you were told that they were dead is through the news publicly, but then also be given a bill because I actually lived for nearly eight years. I can't imagine that.

9:01Oksana Masters:Hilton for this day. So you've decided it's not just you like the idea of meeting them, but you actually want to go through with it. Have you thought about when you want to do it?

9:13Graham Bensinger:Well, so I was going to do it after Beijing. And then the whole situation with the world started there. And that ruined everything. And now I'm in the same boat in the same way where I hope to God that there is going to be a Ukraine to go home to, to see that country with adult eyes. But I am in communication with them now through social media, and they're just like, just so stinking proud. And I just, I don't know, like, I'm so thankful that they had the courage to do that, to give me away when they didn't want to, regardless of the circumstances of how it had to be done.

10:04Graham Bensinger:But I've always, always been curious of who I am and where I come from. And I want to know where do I get my head tilt when I take pictures, if they do that, and just small little mannerisms like that. Because I have questions to ask about my flat nose and my hairline and who it's from. Because it's not cute, not cute at all.

10:21Oksana Masters:Oh, please.

10:22Graham Bensinger:But it's okay. Thank God for contouring.

10:25Oksana Masters:As always, thanks for listening. To see more trending clips from my team, go to youtube.com slash Graham Benzinger.

10:55Oksana Masters:with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com. Near beer, fit for all times.

11:25Thank you.