Corrections: The Podcast | Episode 182 - "The Why-re"

0:00What you're about to hear is an audio recording of a recent episode of Seth Meyers Corrections. To watch new episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late Night YouTube channel.

0:14In the year 2021, Late Night talk show host Seth Meyers unleashed the full fury of the internet with the utterance of a single word. Legos. These are the stories of one man's descent into the bowels of the internet and his courage to take on the most dangerous people on earth, YouTube commenters. Recorded every Thursday after the audience has left Studio 8G and witnessed only by scattered members of the late-night staff and crew, this is Corrections, the podcast.

1:00It's been requested I never say the word riz again On the show and I agree Felt weird when I said it and I felt bad And I'm never going to do it again It's pronounced Fonny Willis not Fanny Willis. Also, I've just been told it's Fonzie, not Fancy. So that's another one I've been getting wrong. And I guess he says, and not,

1:33Chuck Grassley. We made a joke that Mitch McConnell calls Chuck Grassley kid. Chuck Grassley is 10 years older than Mitch McConnell. So shout out to whatever monkey paw he blew the candles out on

1:50I said Darlene Graham was a senator And I was told she was an acting senator And I looked into it And it was based on the slightest of Google searches That the Senate does not have acting senators Although based on how she's been a senator so far I think we could say she's a terrible actor You know all your lines, Darlene? I do, I'm ready for my first debate There's gonna be a lot of questions about foreign policy You don't gotta worry about me, I'm rehearsed and prepared Cut to debate Can you give us your thoughts about China and Taiwan? I've never heard of neither of those places I don't know why y 'all are asking me about it And scene, I'll be in my trailer It's Frankie Munez Not Frankie Munoz Ironically, Frankie Munoz is Mack Tonight's Christian name

2:51Somebody, I guess because I get a lot of nice gifts Someone just wrote in Stop sending free stuff to rich people Hashtag unionized jackals

3:03We had a joke about Trump was talking about daylight savings I always say daylight savings You know, because this is about savings Googie Renee So we had a joke about how nobody changes their clocks anymore Everything's digital, it's all on your phone, your car And then somebody said, you know, not everyone And they sort of, in the same way of like Stop sending gifts to rich people They were like, you're so out of touch You're such an elite Not everyone has cars with clocks that automatically change Not everyone's clocks at home automatically change. And I didn't think that could be true, mostly because, you know, I do consider myself a regular Joe.

3:46But, you know, I wanted to check. So on the way in this morning, I rolled down the dividing window between me and the driver, and I said, Sebastian, at your home, you know, do you have to manually set your clocks back, when the times change. And he said, actually, I recently lost my home. And then I started rolling it back up because it just didn't seem like he was going to answer the question. But I am going to keep digging.

4:25Somebody asked if Bird Bane and Jimzilla are friends or enemies. Enemies. I mean, obviously. I mean, Jimzilla is a force for good, and Birdbane is, you know, a force of evil. And again, like, this is basically... Look, at some point, Corrections has turned into a puppet show. I do feel like this was kind of how the meeting would go. Just some version of, like, Jimzilla! I've heard a lot about you! Okay.

4:59Okay. Have you heard a lot about me? I don't know who you are.

5:08I'm Birdbane! Okay.

5:19Oh, we made a mistake between interpreter and translator. Translator, the written word. Interpreter, the spoken word. Somebody recently said, how come Seth is wearing two rings? I thought it was obvious. Two wives.

5:45Alexi, my second wife. My first wife, the job. The job. The I'm married to the job. And I would still only be, except for the conversation I had with that guy over there. I remember, like, just after, like, a red-hot show one night, I just, like, went into Shoemaker's office, and I was like, we're good at this, Shoemaker. We're as good as it gets. And he was like, how do you think this all ends? Like, a gold watch? A parade? Seth Meyers Day? And then he looks at me and he says, The job will not save you. It will not make you whole. It will not fill you up. And then I said, I don't know. A good closer look.

6:46And he cut me off. He's like, ends. It all ends. And then you're just at home by yourself. And I was like, until the next closer look. And he said, boy, you need something outside of this here job.

7:12And I had, like what, like dollhouse miniatures? Wait, that... No, that's a scene from The Wire. That's Lester Freeman and Jimmy McNally. That makes... Because that doesn't sound like you at all. You never... You're the opposite of that. I remember when I told him I was getting married, he's like, you better not ruin what we got here. He was so mad. He's like, you're married to me! I knew it was going to be bad when... he knocked. And by the way I say, when Schumacher knocked, he just pounds on the wall between our offices. And this is about a week after I told him I was getting married. And I walked in, and he said, you gonna do that thing where they're like, speak now or forever hold your peace?

7:59And I was like, why? And he's like, I got something to say. And I think he would have, except he thought they were gonna call on him. I remember they said, do you have anything to say? And he just was in the back, like... And they looked at me like, should we? I'm like, thank God. He was so mad afterwards. He's like, when was my turn to talk?

8:33Have you not heard of my exploits? You shouldn't call them that. It's too fancy to call them exploits.

8:48I don't know what we're doing here, guys. I don't know what we're doing here, but... Hey, Seth, say the names. Oh, it was Hunk Week. Affleck, McAvoy, George Saunders, Sebastian Stan, and Jose Andres,

9:10and...

9:18Uh...

9:28That's five. Will you at least tell me how many were there this week?

9:34Um... I think that was it. Five? Shoemaker's telling me five. All right, so we're good. So I think it's five? Should we get it? Um, okay, hold on. All right, hold on. Okay, let's just hold on. I didn't think you guys would do it this week. Hold on. Why wasn't I ready for this? Hold on. We can figure this out. Hold on. All right, so. So. So. So. So. All right. How many? A tall person. David Byrne. But he's, you know, helped. Another tall person. LeBron? Oh, my God. A tall person. There was a tall person here. I hugged a tall person.

10:44Um, so I've got six now. Was Jenny Hagel on?

10:53All right, hold on. It was good. I was like, they were good. That was good. They were good. Who, Seth? Them. Okay. What? Two women? Okay, well. That's a good look

11:21Slater Slater All right We got Slater New Year's Eve Oh Jessica Biel

11:42My other wife From the film New Year's Eve Well No you said Oh Jane Wickline Yeah she's the tall one Alright so this is getting less fun

12:04But you know what you're gonna do? It is what it is. This is from Chef Jose Andres. That's why.

12:16It's delicious. I wouldn't say it looks super appetizing.

12:28I don't have anything else. I don't know what we're doing, guys. Ooh. We're off next week because we're so tired.

12:41We're so tired. All right, so see me in two weeks. Happy, I do call it Indigenous Peoples Day. I also call it Indigenous Ohio. That's where Ohio State plays.

13:03That's the first laugh I've ever heard from behind that camera.

13:10182 corrections. I finally get a mic laugh.

13:18See you in two weeks. For more episodes of Corrections, subscribe to the Late Night Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. and to watch corrections with all the exciting visual references you missed here, subscribe to the Late Night with Seth Meyers YouTube channel.