From The Archives: Style Lessons I Learned In My 20s That Have Me Thriving In My 30s

0:00Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Let's Get Dressed. It's your host, Lib. Perez. I am currently on a much-deserved summer holiday, but don't worry, I'm not leaving you guys hanging. Some of the best fashion lives in the archives, and the same goes for podcasts. So over the next few weeks, I'll be re-airing some of my favorite past episodes, and I hope you guys enjoy. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Let's Get Dressed. It's your host, Liz Perez. First episode in May, and if you are listening to this on Monday, May 6th, You probably know that this evening is the Met Gala.

0:36I'm so excited to watch the Met Gala. I feel like I'm like a kid watching a movie for the first time when the Met Gala happens. I sit on my couch. I get my snacks, preferably sour candy. I turn it on the big screen. No one can bother me. I get very intense about it. It's really my Super Bowl. I love to see the looks. I love to see what brands have collaborated with which talent. It's always just a really fun red carpet. So if you have not penciled it into your calendar this evening and you're listening to this in the morning, make sure you do that. It's going to be really fun. And of course, follow me over on Instagram.

1:11I'm going to be covering everything in my stories per usual. Some of my favorites, my not so favorites, a little bit of context on some of the dresses. It's always a really fun time. So make sure you're following me over there. I'm at Liv Perez with two Vs. I'm actually in New York right now myself. I was in Austin over the weekend for Dear Media IRL. and then I flew here yesterday to do a segment on the Today Show tomorrow morning. So again, if you're listening to this on Monday, I'm going to be on the Today Show on Tuesday, May 7th at 9.30 local time. So no matter where you are in the country, it's going to be on at 9.30 a.m.

1:47your time. I'm going to be covering, drumroll, what to wear to a wedding this summer, and my best style advice for how to tackle cocktail attire, black tie attire, black tie optional, which wear to a destination wedding. And I am going to be wearing a look that is inspired by some bridal trends that I'm seeing right now. So something for everyone, fellow brides who are getting married this summer, any of you who are going to weddings, and maybe some of you who have moms who are part of a wedding and are looking for mother of the bride outfits, all of that's going to be in the segment. So make sure you turn in.

2:22It's going to be so much fun. I'm so grateful to be back. I think this is like my 10th segment at this point. I love being on a Today Show. It's just such an incredible, rewarding experience. Truly, in my opinion, the most amazing team in television. And I'm always so grateful when they invite me back. And of course, too, for such a personal segment as well. It was so much fun doing this at the same time as helping all of my siblings and my mom and my mother-in-law find their own dresses for the wedding. I feel like I was very well prepared for this segment and knew exactly what there was out there in the world.

2:54So it's definitely going to be a fun one. Also, while I'm in New York, I'm doing my third wedding dress fitting, getting so close now and so excited to see it. This is the first time I'm actually going to be trying on my own dress and not a sample. So I'm so excited to see how it fits and how it flows and all the things. I love my dress and I can't wait to try it on. I'm also doing a couple other wedding fittings. So a really fun, exciting trip that I'm just so happy to be here and be doing all of these amazing things. For those of you who don't know, I turned 30 at the beginning of this year in February.

3:27And between February and now, I have felt a very distinctive shift in my style. Maybe not so much of a shift, but more of a conviction in what I'm putting on every day and how I feel about myself and how I'm presenting myself to the world. Recently, I was thinking about why that happened. Is it because I did this major closet clean out? Is it maybe because I stopped kind of buying fast fashion and I've only been investing in pieces that I know that I'll have for five to 10 years. But upon further reflection, I think what really came to mind for me was these key moments that I feel like I learned in my 20s that I made mandatory in my 30s when it came to my style.

4:07And my 20s was like a roller coaster of truly unhinged fashion choices. I think of the way that I was dressing when I was 20 to the way I'm dressing now. And wow. And I'm sure we can all relate to that. It actually was funny during Coachella to see how many people were posting their like old Coachella looks. And you really think how even in just the span of six months, you can completely change your entire wardrobe. You can completely change your entire sense of self and self-perception by what it is that you're wearing on a daily basis. I remember being 20, being at NYU, thinking I was in an episode of Gossip Girl, I would wear like peplum skirts and little heels every day to class at NYU.

4:49I lived on Washington Square West. I would put on my little czar heels. I would walk myself, keep in mind, in a skirt, no tights, in 40 degree weather, in the snow, would walk myself across that park thinking, this is totally fine. This is normal. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. Keep in mind, fully risking my life. Could have easily slipped on like black ice or something like that. And I just thought that that was, that was it. Like I was the best dressed person in the park. I felt so confident. Truly. I reflect on that era as being so formative of my style today. Then I think about my mid twenties where I was living in New York.

5:25I was hustling. I had just really gotten my footing in the content creation world and I loved streetwear and I had a sneaker closet that should have for sure landed me like on complex or something. Like it was really, robust. I actually had an entire wall of sneakers that people would come over and see. And I loved my sneakers. I was very, very passionate about them. So I had that for a point in time where I was never in a heel. I was always in sneakers, great pants, great cargoes, great jeans. That was an era for me. And then right from there, straight into pandemic fashion, which was nothing.

5:57And I feel like I barely survived that one. And now that I've newly turned 30, I did the biggest closet clean out I think I've ever done in my history of closet cleanups. I got rid of everything that just felt immature or just not the way I wanted to present myself. I really have this rule that if you haven't worn something in over a year, it's got to go. Give it a new home. If it's gone through all of the seasons and you haven't worn it, of course, unless it's like vintage or something very, very special, give it a new home. Make room for something new in your closet. And I really did that this time around.

6:29I truly felt like after I did that, I walked into my closet for the first time and was like, okay, I feel like my closet has caught up to my age. We're here. I know what's going on. So again, turning 30 and not only just being reflective about life, but really being reflective about my personal style compelled me to do this episode today where I share with you guys the key things that I have learned that are really helping me now thrive in my 30s. The first one, and I feel like I actually experienced this in January, right before my birthday, and it really, I think, kicked off me just feeling good about my closet.

7:01Don't underestimate the power of finding your pair of jeans. And you guys know what I mean when I say your pair of jeans, like that pair that feels as good as like the sisterhood of the traveling pants pair of jeans. It is your ride or die pair of denim that looks good with everything, hits your proportions exactly right, hugs your hip and waist and butt in all the right places, the jean that you are going to wear five out of the seven days of the week. I had, I'd say, five pair of jeans in my closet and they all ranged from a wide variety. Some were light, high-waisted, some were low-waisted, dark wash.

7:42I have a pair of cargo jeans and I never really felt like I was walking into my closet every day and I had that one pair of pants that I was putting on that went with everything. I definitely never felt that. I knew that I was missing that kind of perfect pair in my closet for a while and I was on the hunt for it. I recently found it at Anina Bing. I think they're the Gavin jeans. I put them on. I loved them on me. I bought them and I very quickly realized that I was putting them on every single day. They were so good on my body that they actually encouraged me to wear things in my closet that I hadn't been wearing in a really long time.

8:22And I felt like the style, shape, and color went with everything in my closet. By just that one new piece, I had what felt like an entire new wardrobe. Seriously, I was wearing new things every day, feeling really good, and just felt like I had finally found that puzzle piece that made everything else fit together. And look, for some of you listening right now who are like, jeans aren't my thing. That's totally fine. Maybe you're someone who lives in warmer temperatures and like a linen pair of pants is your thing. Maybe it's a black pair of slacks, whatever it is. For me, it's a jean. I feel like jeans are my go-to.

8:58I can dress them up, dress them down. And when they're comfortable, I can wear them anywhere. I actually had like a 6am flight recently and I wore them on the plane, which is unheard of for me. I'm not really a jeans girl on the plane. It's like a little restricting, but these jeans I wore, whatever that pant style is for you, find the one that looks good with everything. So finding this like cut and shape and color that works for my body and for my closet has been a game changer for me. Go find your piece, guys, whatever it is, even if that means going into Nordstrom or Levi's and trying on a thousand pair of jeans or even a good hack that I like to do is go on Revolve, order maybe five different styles so that you can try them on with your own closet and then return the ones that aren't working.

9:42I really think the most valuable thing that I learned from that experience was that the jean has to fit your closet and your wardrobe to really work. So make sure that you're doing that. Long live my Anita Bang Gavin jeans. They're my fit. They're my person. And that's why I hit the number one spot on my lessons from my twenties. Number two, and this one I'm really passionate about because I think it threw me for a loop when I was in my early twenties for a while and caused a major fashion identity crisis for me, especially with the rise of Instagram and Pinterest and all of these and social media, we've had access more than ever to see incredible fashion around the world.

10:17Even more so, the amount of style inspiration accounts that I follow is insane. I have so many accounts that I'm constantly harding and saving all the time. And I make these saved boards and I would make these Pinterest boards, especially in my early 20s. And I would basically go and buy all those pieces and try to emulate that exact look. Let me tell you how that worked out. Definitely hard on my self-esteem because I would try so hard and it just wouldn't look good on me. So I'd be like, what's wrong with me? And so my tip here, don't let the Pinterest board rule your sense of style. I think it's a great place to find inspiration, find aesthetics that you like, that you can try to emulate.

10:57But it's really important to understand your shape and your body and what looks good on you. While I love Instagram and it's again, constant source of inspiration, I think it's really trained so many of us, myself included, to basically copy paste what we see out there without taking into account maybe our own sense of personal style or what works for us. And it got to the point where I realized, okay, I'm going to take this Pinterest board. I'm going to put it together and find those pieces and elements of it that I love that work on my body. I love a low rise, but wearing a crop top with it doesn't really work for my torso because it's so short.

11:33I have to wear something that's either tucked in or maybe a blouse with it and really find the proportion that works for my body there. Use it as inspiration, but don't use it as the blueprint for your entire closet. And for those of you who are in your early mid-20s right now that are still figuring out what looks good on your body, one thing that really, really helped me and as a tip that I love, it's definitely a little bit more of an investment, but get a really great tailor who can help you see and visualize your clothes and the way that they should fit. I have so many friends who their entire closet is Zara, but they always look so good because they invested in a great tailor to make it fit their body.

12:11My tailor in both New York and LA has taught me so much about fit and the way that things work on my body. And I think even if you do it one time and give that tailor a jacket, a pair of pants, a dress, whatever it is, and really get as much knowledge as you can from the right fit, it's totally worth it. I actually love my tailors at my local dry cleaner and I've learned so much from them. Investing and taking the time into learning how things fit your body and what works for your shape is truly, for me, one of the biggest fashion hacks to looking your best. Number three, and this is something that I feel like I'm doing well in this episode so far, is learning how to accept all of the bad outfits that you've worn and all of the bad eras.

12:51Not completely disregard them, maybe disregard the bad parts of them, but keep that ethos alive in how you dress today. For example, my Gossip Girl wannabe era in NYU was definitely cringe. I think I wore like geometric printed skirts and peplum skirts and then wore like rhinestone heels and like boucle jackets to class because again, that was what was in style at the time. And I think learning to not be so hard on myself or be so hard on that person and say that was what was cool at the time and I looked great and people loved my style and it was really formative for me to put myself out there and try new things.

13:30And it's gotten me to now feeling great about my style and great about what I wear every day. That was important. And it was a part of who I am. And it's a part of what shaped my fashion sensibility. While today I might not be wearing all of those pieces and mixing all those fabrics and those prints, there's still an ethos that I want to keep alive and honor as I'm getting dressed every day. And it's something that I actually noticed as like the quiet luxury, chic kind of era of dressing came about on Instagram. I definitely felt a gravitational pull towards dressing that way. And I think I felt like, oh, I'm getting into my thirties.

14:05I need to kind of tone it down a little bit and wear things that look really good and, and she can put together. But one day I felt this like insane itch to be like, wait, I'm, I'm not a quiet dresser. I've never been a quiet dresser. I'm someone who loves color and prints and brands like Christopher John Rogers and really commanding the stage and expressing myself through fashion. And I felt myself really repressing that because of like what I was seeing out in the world. And like, it caused me to have this moment of introspection of really looking back on what brought me to where I am today in terms of my style.

14:42And that was wearing things that fell out of the box, different, fun, eclectic. It was very fashion forward. And again, I felt like I had kind of put that away for a second because I wanted to feel chic and put together. And right now, I feel like a lesson that I'm constantly practicing and value very deeply is, again, honoring those younger versions of myself and cherry picking the things that I loved about those earlier moments and making sure they're very present in how I dress today. But above all, I think the most important thing is just not cringing at those old looks, honoring it, learning what I loved about it, and knowing that it was a part of my fashion journey.

15:25And now I look at a photo of myself from high school in those black Jeffrey Campbell lace-ups, little black denim shorts, a graphic tee from Nasty Gal, and then I think a cutout pair of hot pink star earrings, like the cutout in the center, maybe from Clara's, who knows. And maybe in my mid-20s, I would not even acknowledge that that person was me. But now I'm so grateful for that moment because that was the beginning of me falling in love with fashion. It was crucial for me. It was everything for me. So we're embracing the cringe guys. We're finding those moments and still honoring that they're a part of us today.

16:07While we're talking about trends, my fourth tip has to do with them. While I talk about trends a lot on this show because I'm someone who loves to analyze and understand how the fashion industry moves. I love to understand how people are influenced by things. And I love to see the trickle down effect of how we can see things on the runway and then see them in street style just a few days later because it's moving for people. It's interesting and it keeps us on our toes and part of the fashion conversation. I love trends. Don't get me wrong, but they should be the fun part of fashion. They shouldn't be your every day.

16:42They shouldn't be the formula of what you build your entire closet on. I feel like in my mid-20s, again, in the streetwear time, I was really buying into trends, heavily buying into trends. If there was a new boot in season or a new jacket in season, maybe it was like really printed and loud, but that was just what was in style. I was investing in it because I thought that was the thing to do. Lo and behold, a year later, I was selling it, giving it a new home, donating it. It just didn't have a place in my closet because it only worked for that period of time that we were in in the fashion world.

17:16Now, as a new 30-year-old and someone who is very passionate about building her dream wardrobe, I'm not doing that at all. Even I know we've talked about it recently, like the mesh shoe trend. It doesn't work for me. It's not something that I love, so I'm not investing in it because I know it's not going to have longevity in my closet. Whereas the re-emergence of the ballet flat, the re-emergence of the Mary Jane, I see myself wearing that for years to come. I'm going to invest in that and I'm going to make sure I invest in it in a color that lasts forever versus something that feels a little bit more trendy.

17:46So while I encourage everybody to follow trends and see what's going on in the industry, I encourage it to be something that's just fun and auxiliary for you. I don't recommend that you put your money towards those pieces. Okay, my fifth and final piece of advice for you guys is, and especially this is really one that I think has just propelled me to feel my best in my 30s is if it's not comfortable for you, both physically and emotionally, it's not worth it. If I am going out for a night and I am wearing something that I know physically is going to maybe hurt my back. For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that I had two heredited discs two years ago and I make a conscious effort to, you know, work out well, sleep well, do all the things to kind of keep them in line, wear the right clothes, wear the right shoes at the right time to make sure that I'm keeping myself good.

18:40So I'm constantly thinking about what am I wearing right now that's going to make me comfortable? And that doesn't mean like sweats and a t-shirt, but what am I wearing? What am I investing into my closet, especially shoe wise, that's made well, that's going to support my back? That's a very unrelatable situation because that's just a me thing. But let's take it super macro level here, going out with friends, what am I wearing out right now that's not going to make me like go home at midnight because my feet hurt? If it's not physically comfortable, you're going to be distracted. I really noticed that if I'm in a fabric that makes me like feel icky and doesn't make me feel good, I'm in a bad mood.

19:18And I actually only realized that recently. I was like, wait, I'm kind of grouchy right now and don't feel my best self because this fabric is like itching my body. And I thought that I should wear it anyways because I loved it and it's cute, but it's actually ruining my entire night right now. And that took me a long time to learn, especially in my early twenties, going out to clubs, doing all the things, wanting to look really good. Now I feel like I know the shoes in my closet that can get me through a great night having and feeling good. I know the fabrics that I want to stay away from that just don't really work for me and kind of itch my skin.

19:50I'm really focused on finding pieces that are comfortable for me and don't stop me from feeling my best no matter what it is that I'm doing. The emotional side of it is if you're putting on something and you feel insecure or you're only wearing it because you feel like you have to wear it because it's quote unquote trendy or maybe you don't like the way that it's showing off your body, it's not worth it. It is never going to be worth it. To me, fashion is all about energy. It is all about confidence and what you are projecting, not only for everybody else, but for yourself. So if it doesn't emotionally feel good to you, it is so not the point of fashion.

20:29Fashion is meant to feel good. It's meant to lift your spirits. It can change your mood. There have been so many times where I've been in a bad mood and putting on a good outfit has just changed my entire day. And that's really what it's all about. So if it's not comfortable and you're not living your best life, no piece of fashion is worth that. So yes, if you're curious, now when I go out at night, it's usually in a flat boot or definitely something low-heeled because that's just how I survive and how I survive is the life of the party until two or three in the morning. It has to be a low heel.

21:00I have to be in a comfortable pair of jeans. I'm definitely not in like a corset crop top anymore. I'm wearing things that still make me look good, but that I can survive multiple hours in. A quick little tip if you are someone who sometimes feels like you're wearing things and like things go awry. I love having a pouch or a little box in my closet of all of the emergency things that you can possibly need. Nipple covers, boob tape, double-sided stick tape. I even got that like, it's basically like a tack gun. So for example, if something's falling apart, a hemline's falling apart, or if I need to like really quickly kind of hem something, I have a little tack gun for that.

21:38Have your arsenal of like equipment for things that you need to just feel your best all the time. There's nothing worse than like when you're wearing a low cut top and you're out of the double sided tape to make sure that it's stuck to your skin. I always make sure that that is in my closet and ready to go for any fashion emergency because life's too short to be worrying about that kind of stuff. So get that cute little pack, customize it for the things you need. It's a great closet essential. I'm feeling so excited about my 30s. So far, it's been amazing. The past five months have definitely been my busiest, definitely traveled the most that I ever have and have been deep in wedding planning, but I'm so grateful for it all.

22:14I've loved my thirties. And truly, I think a big part of that have been these lessons that I've learned that have gotten me to this point of confidence now where the things that I've just shared with you guys are non-negotiable. I have to feel good in what I'm wearing. It's an extension of who I am and what my mood is. And all of these tips have been really helpful for me in saying no to the things that don't work and really leaning into the things that do so that I feel excited every day. I hope you guys love this episode and learn something new about getting dressed per usual. If you have any questions or any follow-ups to anything that I just talked about, my DMs are always open to you guys.

22:49I love talking with my podcast listeners over DM. It's where I get to know you guys. So please feel free to slide in at any time and ask me anything. And if you have a moment today, please go on Apple Podcasts and leave the show a review. It really helps the show grow. It invites new people into our community and that's a big focus of mine this year. So leave me a little review. Let me know what you thought about today's episode. I hope you guys have an amazing week ahead. Enjoy the Met tonight and I will see you guys next Monday.

23:35Thank you.