‘The Bucket List Family’ Dad on Living Life Like an Adventure

22:15Garrett Gee:And it was like a week after the acquisition happened that he approached me and he was like, all right, Gary, I've been giving a lot of thought and I feel like we need to come up with like some rules and standards that we can hold each other to. And the way that he would pose the question was, imagine if there's somebody who has no money, but he has a strong marriage. We now have a lot of money, but if we have a broken marriage, who's wealthier in life? We might be richer, but who's wealthier? And the same could be said for health and this and that. And so we came up with a list that was like, the seven ways that we need to make sure that we are wealthier than a poor man is what we called it.

22:51Garrett Gee:Because we have this huge asset, this huge blessing that's come into our life. Like shame on us if we let ourselves not be wealthy in like the true sense of the word. So what were those seven things? Oh, goodness. For sure it was strong marriage. Then it was strong relationships with everyone else in our circle. Being a meaningful part of community or whatever community that we're a part of. It was health. And health was broken down into three categories being spiritual health, mental health, and physical health. The last one was a really important one to me, a huge lesson in my life since then.

23:24Garrett Gee:and that was freedom. Freedom, okay, got it. And that was something that he taught me early on because I thought freedom was just basically more and more money. And I think there's a beautiful visual bell curve you could imagine, whereas you get more, and it could be said for a lot of things, especially like money and fame, that as you achieve more money and more fame, you should become happier and happier and happier. But there's a natural bell curve that exists in the universe. And it's different for everyone. Like my appetite - I mean, I'm the poster child of that, right? I had someone come over$600 million and then several years later, you know, it made a mental hospital.

23:59Garrett Gee:And it's interesting though, because that number for you, whether it was 600 million or for that number is different for everyone. And I think it's been an important thing for my wife and I to understand the differences in our bell curve. Yeah. Because I would say fame is an interesting one. Yeah. I think maybe we could blame it on the Filipino in me, but I think I have a large appetite for fame and my wife's is like much lower. Okay. So if we're going to continue to grow like on social media and this and that, we just need to be very mindful of like, even if it's making me more and more happy, I got to be aware of like where she's at on her scale.

24:33Garrett Gee:Totally. And once it starts to bend for her, I got to be wise enough to like halt on mine. Totally. And the same goes for money and all of that. Wow. I love that. I mean, I think having those values is so key. And I love how those values plus your promise to your wife led to the creation of the bucket list family. and when I think about values and like, how do we, how are we guided in life? You know, earlier today, I got to show you and Jess the quote in my office, you know, the Chateaubriand quote. And that quote has really been a guide for me. And I'll read just a little excerpt from it, not the whole quote, but it goes, a master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation.

25:20He hardly knows which is which. And I feel like as I've gotten to know you, as I've observed your adventures, it really seems like that quote really epitomizes the way that you guys have lived your life. Do you see a distinction between your work and your play?

25:38Garrett Gee:For sure. It's probably something I'm most proud of in life. And I would try to instill this in my kids it's it's insanely hard to achieve to accomplish that yeah to make your work your hobby and your hobby your work and your passion and let everyone else try to figure out what you're doing and blur all of those lines i'd say the thing that it it takes a lot of courage because to chase your passion is like this the scary thing um to me it's it kind of feels like common sense of like wait so you can either try to make it in like the corporate world and just working up the ladder and you might fail anyways and you're going to hit your life along the way.

26:13Garrett Gee:So it feels like maybe a win, but pretty lose the situation. Whereas if you're chasing your passion to the fullest, definitely you might fail. But like what a one win win situation, because if you do fail, at least you've like pursued your life, like doing what you love. So to me, it sounds pretty obviously, but it does regardless take a lot of courage. But the most, the most, I would just say, like if I were trying to teach my kids how to accomplish this and achieve this level of freedom is just an insane amount of hard work. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. I just realized I didn't share this when I showed you the quote, but the other reason why that quote is really interesting is when I posted that quote on Instagram, it's the only time a video of mine has ever gone viral.

26:54As a guy who every video goes viral for you. I mean, you post a video of our surf trip and a million people watch it. But yeah, it was so random. The other day I posted it and normally I get like, I don't know, 10, 12 ,000 views. And I think it's up to 600 ,000 views. just on that quote.

27:09Garrett Gee:There's just a lot of like beautiful truth. And I think that should be like the goal for everyone, right? In a perfect world, like everyone gets to spend their lives doing what they're most passionate about. Well, okay. So speaking of things going viral in social media, one of the reasons I was really excited to have you on is I'm trying to understand my relationship to social media. You know, for three years when I was really depressed, I did not post one thing on Instagram because I was ashamed. I really just felt like, what am I going to say? I can't be honest because here I am. I have all this money.

27:39I have these healthy kids. Like, and I'm going to talk about my mental health. Back then I thought that I was ashamed of my mental health. And so I didn't post anything. And then once I started feeling better, I felt this like deep responsibility to share with other people. Cause I realized, gosh, if I had found someone's Instagram account and they were honest about what they were going through, that would have helped me a lot. So now I am doing social media and I'm having fun with it. But also I find that sometimes it takes me away from being present in the moment. So here I have the bucket list family dad.

28:08So, you know, how do you navigate staying present with your family while also making continuous content with them in it?

28:18Garrett Gee:Great question. I do remember when we first started and my wife said, let's do a little bit of traveling. My entrepreneurial mind went to like, okay, what do I do? Like, I'm not going to go on vacation. That's just not my style. Like, I just love creating. So that's when we came up with the name The Bucketless Family. And I started a YouTube channel on Instagram. But I can truly say in 2015, like the word influencer didn't exist. Yeah. And so my motive with it was to create a family journal. Like that was it at its basis. I will admit and say I had the definite foresight to think like, this is where I think social media is going.

28:55Garrett Gee:And rather than just going and traveling and paying for these like expensive experiences and vacations, let me see if I can start to reach out to airlines and resorts. So I was like influencing before. Yeah, you were getting your life sponsored in a sense. Yeah. And I'm telling you for about a year of me hitting up brands, they'd be like, nah, like that's not a thing. Like I would try to teach them like, hey, why don't we do this? I get a lot of exposure. You pay for marketing, like market through me and this and whatever. And we just got shut down for like a year total. And then slowly as it became a thing, brands would start to say yes.

29:28Garrett Gee:Like they wouldn't even host us for free. They would just give us a discount and then they would host us for free. And then over time evolved, then they would start to pay us to do it. And so my wife and I, we had agreed that we would take the money from the acquisition and we would set it aside and put it in like safe savings and investments. and if we were going to travel, we would sell everything, which was did a yard sale and sold two cars that got us$43 ,000 and from that we would travel for as long as that lasted. So she had budgeted and planned about six months of a little bit of travel and for me, I took it as a personal challenge because I was loving it.

30:01Garrett Gee:I was loving the travel, but most of all, I was loving the time with my wife and kids. As a dad, that meant everything to me and when I was building my app, I was spending way too much time at the office So I didn't see him the other side of a working dad that doesn't see a lot of his kids. And I knew in this new chapter of my life, like what I wanted to do different. And that was be present and spend time with my wife and kids. And so we were just documenting it as like family home videos. While at the same time, my entrepreneurial mind was like, how do we do this? And it was pretty cool to see like the$43 million, like running out, running out, and then start to slow down as we got like - The$43 ,000.

30:36Garrett Gee:Yeah, sorry. The$43 ,000. Yeah, I said$43 million. I was like, I hope it wasn't right now. That's a different channel. I haven't seen that one. As the$43 ,000 continued to run out and run out, as these brands started to give us discounts or host us, the leads slowed. And then as we started making money and getting paid, then it ramped up. And I'll say we turned Bucket List into a very successful business. Totally. Based on that, never touching the acquisition money. That's amazing. So as an entrepreneur, that made me super proud. But like I said, the thing looking back now to answer your question is the thing that has meant most to me is like as a dad, I would argue to say like no dad in history has ever been able to spend as much time with their kids, you know, doing these like exceptional experiences and creating these memories quite like I have.

31:27Garrett Gee:It's the best job ever. So going back to the quote, it's like, is it a job? Technically, like it's what supports our family, but it just feels like the dream situation. one of the stops during our travels was we were starting to figure out like should we settle down and have a home base for like three years we were straight vagabond no home traveled to 50 countries and then my daughter wanted to like go experience regular school about kindergarten age so we started to talk about like where do we want to live and settle down and so we had gone and checked out portland oregon and my wife really loved it my daughter went to school for a bit and she was loving it and then i went and i applied it for a job at nike and i was like yeah well like new experience.

32:04Garrett Gee:Let's go for it, whatever. And I got the job and I was going to be like an entrepreneur in residence, just building new tech within Nike. And the final interview with the head honcho, and he is like, well, we think you're great. Like, let's make this happen. And then he asked me, what kind of salary do you need to make this a reality? And as a joke, I said to him, you just need to pay me more. That's better than traveling the world with my family for free. And I said that as a joke, but as I like heard the words come out of my own mouth, I was like, what am I doing? Like, I'm getting paid to travel the world with my family.

32:39Garrett Gee:Why would I take this job? And the next day I sent him an email and I'm like, I'm sorry, I declined the offer and I didn't take the job. Yeah, well, I mean, sometimes you have to say things out loud and sometimes you have to be faced with a hard decision before you realize what's in front of you. Totally. You know, I think that's, you know, for people who are listening and watching, like really listen to this because i've learned this lesson several times in my life where i am like making plans like you're moving to portland your kids in school you're getting the job like you're fully committed to something and it's not until the moment you have to sign on the dive line where you're like no this is not right it's so interesting i mean i would love to do a whole another podcast with someone who can help us with gut instincts and understand the microbiome and and the connection to the heart and all these things, because I can just think of several times in my life where I've gotten to that final, I'm actually going through something right now where I have to make a decision.

33:33We'll talk about it tonight at dinner. And where it's like, it comes to the final moment when you say, you know what, actually the right thing for me is this. Totally. And it's often not. And so one of the things I love -

33:44Garrett Gee:And even just like, I think that's a helpful thing when you either like say it or pretend like you made the decision, pretty quickly your body will react like, whoa, that is not right. Exactly, and listen, it's like, Like, you know, there's the great, the body keeps score. There's so many books on this. I mean, you know, no magic pill. This podcast is all about mental wellness. And it's part of mental wellness is learning how to really listen to your body. And oftentimes it's once you have to say it out loud, once you have to feel like you've committed to the decision. And so what I like to tell people is like, you know, if you're really making a hard decision, like make it in your mind a week before you actually have to make it.

34:18Tell your friends you've already made it and see how it feels. And if it doesn't feel good, then you still have budgeted some time to change your mind. And so I think that that's really, really important. For me, it's always helped too.

34:32Garrett Gee:The ability to think, I don't know, the word that comes to my mind is sincerely. And by that, I mean look at the situation for what it really is. Was it about a job between do I want to go work for Nike or this? What was the underlying desire there? And for me, probably at its core, it just came down to freedom. and there's like, which one gives me more freedom, especially with my family. And then it made it an easy decision. Cause if you were like salary, this salary, that like, that's a difficult decision. But if you can look at the big picture more sincerely and be like sincere with yourself and what you really want out of this, makes the decision way easier.

35:05This year, I met some engineers from Nike who invented a new type of office chair that has not only changed my life, but actually saved my back, especially because I am on about five hours of Zoom calls every day. The MoveLab chair has two different pivot points under the seat, which keeps your body in continuous micro movements all day. The founders told me it is the equivalent of taking 3 ,000 steps and all the lubrication of your joints and the blood flow is why my back no longer hurts and I can focus on my work so much better. I love this so much that I actually joined the team as a co-founder and I will be sending one to every person I know when we launch this fall.

35:48If you're interested in learning more or pre-ordering one, we only have 500 in the first run. You can check us out at movlab.com and that's spelled M-O-O-V-L-A-B.com. I decided not to take advertising for the first season of No Magic Pill so I could actually use these moments to talk about something I'm super passionate about. Now one of those things is my morning routine and every morning it starts the same way. I drink morning water. I take this packet, I pour it into this bottle and I drink it. Now what's in this packet? It has creatine, L-theanine, magnesium, many other supplements, electrolytes, basically all the things that I used to have to take so many supplements for.

36:32I mean my kitchen counter, it looked like a pharmacy. I mean had bottles of pills and pills and pills and half the time I would even forget to take them. So now it's all in the simple formula that my friend Austin created, and I do it every day. And this month, we're giving everyone a special offer. Go to morningwater.co forward slash nomagic pill. And when you sign up, you'll get 25 % off your first month. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. Now, I do want to go back to social media, though, because you just talked about how it's been so positive in your life. And I totally see that. But also, like, what are your concerns?

37:09Like, you know, you hear of like child stars, like in terms of movie stars. And your kids have become like child social media stars. And, you know, your daughter's now 13, right? You have a teenager. I mean, does she have her own social media account? How are you thinking about that? How are you thinking about the fame that's created through this? Because I think there's a lot of parents that are listening to this that either their kids are just getting a phone for the first time. Or they're just talking about social media. and I would love for someone who's so ingrained in it to tell me and us listening, like how do you think about this in terms of when they have had such a positive experience with social media?

37:50But we also know there's a dark side to it too.

37:53Garrett Gee:Totally. And it's interesting how much has changed because my answer back in 2015 was like, this is a great journaling tool. Everyone should do it. And I was literally taking a photo of each of my kids once a day and posting it so I could like remember them at every single church. it has evolved into the beast that social media and technology is today. And I have a really strong opinion about it. Because I feel like nobody on this planet has benefited more from social media than me. Like I know exactly how much goodness it can bring into your life. And so I think people would be surprised to hear that my default answer is no, like no social media.

38:31Garrett Gee:It's bad thing. It's default terrible. Like it's just not healthy for the human soul. Yeah. And so that's, that's always like my default is to like start there and then figure out like, okay, if you really want to do it, then figure out a way, like, is it good for you? And, and how you can, how can you do it? Because I think when I say it's not for everyone, I think the really good example is as simple as this. Like if somebody in your comments, like tears you down and you just got people like trolling you does that affect you at all does it affect you for 10 minutes does it affect you for a week like it's different for everyone and you just got to know like that's going to be a part of it and what are you willing to like give up or is it going to ruin your whole weekend or whatever yeah and for me like me personally the worst of it it might affect me for like five minutes yeah and you have such a strong sense of self and i think that has been forged through all these amazing experiences in your life.

39:29But for a 13 year old, for your daughter.

39:31Garrett Gee:Oh yeah. See, you know, and I would, I would never want her to be a face that. And so the default with our own kids is the answer is no. And we'll probably address it like when they turn 16. And at that age, we'll then have a conversation and see, Hey, is this right for you? Here's the pros and the cons and like, let them kind of make a decision, but with our strong parental guidance. but it won't even be a question until then. I could probably make the prediction now just knowing my own kids that my daughter at 16 probably won't want it which is probably why she could have it if she did want it because she would have a very healthy relationship with it.

40:08Garrett Gee:So if she decided that yeah I want it and this is how I'm going to use it I would support her. Whereas thus far and we'll see he's got a long ways to go but my second child who's currently 11 if he wanted it I'd say no this is not for you just knowing how emotional he is. Totally. I mean, that's - It would not be for him. My 11-year-old son, he has a phone now because his mom and I are divorced and we need a phone to be able to talk to him. But I absolutely do not think social media is for him because he's so sensitive. He's so, and I just think it would be crushing if someone said something negative in a comment.

40:48Totally. And I think most kids, That's why I think we have to be very careful as parents with this because most kids, I mean, that's where more bullying takes place. That's where, I mean, you know, my whole journey on enough, you know, and this idea that, you know, I never felt that I was enough and I didn't have to deal with the comparison to, you know, of social media. But now when I go and talk at high schools or with young students about their, you know, kind of journey on if they feel that they're enough, so much of the lack of feeling enough comes from social media and comparing their friends.

41:22Oh my gosh. Yeah, totally. You know, you brought up the comment about like, you know, if the comments, if a negative comment hurts you, you know, for more than five minutes or whatever, then that's probably a good sign that this is a dangerous tool.

41:35Garrett Gee:especially because I think like if I were to explain like why it only affects me for like you know sometimes five minutes it would be a combination of like you said being self confident like you know basing your self-worth on yourself but the other part of it is just kind of knowing this the actual situation like if somebody is going to come and try to tear you down and that's where for me that's been the hardest part of like seeing trolls and hatred on social media is it doesn't affect me how I think about myself, but it does negatively affect me and how I just kind of like see the world. Because when there's that many people just like throwing hate out, you realize like they're the ones that are hurting.

42:16Garrett Gee:And that makes me sad to realize like there's that many people out there that are in such a painful place that like that is their outlet. And there's no way I believe, I refuse to believe that that's like natural human instinct is just to be like throwing hatred. It always comes from a place of like hate and hurt. So if there's that many people out there hurting, that makes it really sad and difficult to witness. You experienced this one time I know of very intensely with the infamous throwing your son off the cliff. I mean, for those who don't know this story. It's a good example of all of this.

42:50Yeah, it's a very good example. It's probably the best example, at least I know of, in your history. What happened? Why did you get so much hate on this? What really happened? Let's clear the air here. Great question.

43:02Garrett Gee:All right, let's clear there on that one. So we were at Lake Powell, very beautiful place in Utah, and I was teaching my kids how to cliff jump. And I've done the same method with all three of my kids. And my kids— I like that you call it a method. Like he has a—this is a man who has a method on teaching their kids to cliff jump. Exactly. Okay, great. For sure. And I'm telling you, like, talk to anyone who knows my kids. Like, they're the most fantastic, phenomenal, brave, like, adventurous kids. They're so great. So the method works. specifically when it came to cliff jumping it is like the most dangerous thing someone can do when they're cliff jumping is like hesitate and like they go to jump and then they hesitate I almost did this in Fiji and then they slide down the cliff or they don't jump far enough like that's when it's the most dangerous once and that's where like funny enough it's like the most daredevil kids that have confidence are actually the safest it's the kid that's being like overly cautious and safe like usually is the one who breaks an arm yeah and so with my kids I'll like get them to the edge.

44:03Garrett Gee:And if it's their first time, I like let them sit there and like really like soaking in. Tell me the quote in your gym. Oh yeah. Stop trying to skip the struggle. Yeah. So eventually, like if I'm cliff jumping myself, by the way, I'm terrified of heights. Yeah. And if I'm cliff jumping myself, I'll go, I'll look over the edge, I'll make sure it's safe and then I'll go chill out. And then when I know it's time for me to jump, I'm like going to that edge and I'm just jumping because I don't want to just soak in like the fear. Yeah. The first time I go with my kids, I kind of take the opposite approach.

44:34Garrett Gee:And I let them sit there and just like just dwell in it and feel it and like get the worst of it. And then after doing that, if they're still ready to jump on their own and sound inconfident, then I'll let them jump. But if they're not, then what I'll do is I'll like hold them. And this is like with their permission. I'll tell them, like explain how it's going to go down. And I'll toss them off the cliff for a few reasons so that I know that there's no hesitation. I know they get a far enough away from the cliff. And it's all from like a safe height. Like if I were to throw them or if they were to belly flop, like they're going to be safe.

45:03Garrett Gee:It'll hurt them, but they're going to be perfectly safe. Like I'm never, ever going to like actually try to harm my children. Sure, of course. And so we're there in Lake Powell and I did the exact same thing. We go up, this is a pretty safe distance. And I'm with my seven-year-old and he was crying in the moment because he wanted to jump on his own. He was so scared and he would stand up and he would go and then he would cry. And he was crying because he was like kind of like frustrated with himself and just scared in the moment. and I was just sitting there being patient. Like the clip on Instagram, I don't know, it was a minute long, but it was probably like 30 minutes of me just like patiently waiting for him.

45:36Garrett Gee:And then I told him, I'm like, look, I'm not gonna let you jump because you're scared enough that you might hurt yourself. I'm gonna toss you. And he's like, okay, you know, like go for it. And that sort of trust between a parent and a child, like that's not born overnight. Like that's a whole lifetime of me challenging them and helping them and showing them that like I've got them safe. And so as soon as I said that, he's like, all right, let's do it. and I go and I toss him and he screams because it's a cliff and then he falls in the water and he came up with a big old smile and then he probably did it 10 more times on his own.

46:09Garrett Gee:Like the method worked beautifully. Success, the method worked. So what happened on Instagram? The internet chose to just clip. I mean, I shared the process. It was a beautiful, beautiful video. I was very proud of it. I think it was People Magazine, shame on them, were the first ones to like clip just like the specific part. And then the headline was so gnarly. It was like, Influencer Dad, which personally I hate the title Influencer. It's like, Influencer Dad, Chuck's Crying Child off Dangerous Cliff. And I kid you not, that story went viral. Oh my God. We had fans DMing us from Uzbekistan and Switzerland and Korea and Turkey.

46:53Garrett Gee:This story was global. That's a great headline. But I'm telling you, I just didn't mind it to the point where I kind of fed the beast. And I would just repost it and kind of chime in here and there just to stoke the fire being like, you guys are silly. And I kind of liked it because I knew that there were certain parents out there. And you could go to the comments every time. And people would be like, I came to this article expecting to see an influencer chucking his kid violently off a cliff. And they would see a beautiful father-son moment. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I love this. Like, I love what we're sharing around the world.

47:27Garrett Gee:Like, let's go. And so I would poke the bear and stoke the fire. I love it. Thank you for sharing that story and clearing the air. And, you know, I do think it, one of the reasons I want to bring it up wasn't just because we were talking about social media, but also just like as a dad myself with my 11-year-old and my 8-year-old, like I'm really navigating right now how much to push my kids. and especially if they're kind of hard chargers like we are and you know kind of alpha parents is like you know you want your kids to really have these experiences like my son is great at basketball but for some reason right now he's like really concerned about joining the team and so i'm kind of having to push him to join the team and i think that that's one of the things that i'm trying to figure out is like okay like how where is that that that boundary around on pushing them so much to where they're too uncomfortable versus, you know, kind of making them try things.

48:19Like I'm even trying to figure out like, how do you even do this with food? With my daughter, she doesn't want to eat. Like, how do you think about, you know, kind of the trying new things? Because obviously you and your family do a lot of trying new things.

48:30Garrett Gee:Well, it's funny you bring up food because we made it like a family rule early on, especially with our travels. Like we're not going to like McDonald's or Pizza Hut. Yeah, yeah. And so we made the rule, like, you don't need to eat all of it, but you need to try everything at least once. So like try a bite and then you can like push the dish aside, but you like always got to try. And the beautiful thing is you do that enough times and kids start to realize like, oh, actually how many times I've tried something thinking I was going to hate it. And it turns out I love this. And so that kind of bled into a lot of areas of life.

48:57Garrett Gee:And so we do a similar thing where it's like, I think trying something for a season is a good example. There's been a lot of times where our kids just did not want to do it. And by the end of the season, it's like become their life. yeah um the tough thing for me as a parent and i think probably a lot of parents face this is like i think so highly of my kids so i just know like their potential in my mind is just like up here yeah and so i'm trying to push them not because i have high expectations for them yeah it's just because i yeah i just think the world of them yes but i say that's a struggle for me because i have such high like you know love and admiration for them a lot of times that feels like a lot of pressure so the challenge for me is always making sure they understand like why i'm pushing them and it's out of like love and not expectation and that what i want for them is the experience not the achievement achievement yeah like enough don't go to basketball because like you need to win the championship like go to basketball because like what a great experience in life like go be a part of a team have that camaraderie not because i expect you to go win the championship like you might win you might lose that's not the important part yeah i mean that's such a big part of my enough journey with my kids and just letting them know that you know whether they you're the top player on the water polo team or they just try it they're enough either way because our culture is so geared towards achievement and i think as parents like what we need to do and what i try to do is you know really think about like the values not the specifics but like what's the overall values of how we're going to run our family like i actually i'll show you when we get done with this interview right when you walk in our front door and if you saw it you saw it there's seven yeah right yeah so so when my son first born was born um i took a paternity leave and two days after i sat down i was like you know what for every company i've ever started i've sat down within the first week and wrote a mission statement and core values and i put it on the wall and the whole company culture is based on that starting a family is no different yeah yeah think about it right and so you know our our mission statement is to live courageous lives with grace and moderation.

51:04And I really thought a lot about that because I wanted our kids to be courageous to try new things. I wanted us to have grace when people make mistakes. And I knew we had all these resources because of Tom's and I want to really make sure that there was moderation. And then our values are put family first, be present, give generously, love ourselves, others, and the planet, invest in personal growth, be curious and make time for play, which is one I think you really like um but you know I would say like for people who are listening or watching like that is probably one of the greatest things I've ever done as a dad you know is by just sitting down and getting really clear you know and if your kids are older I'd say involve them in this you know my kid was just born and my other daughter wasn't born yet yeah but as the kids have started to be older and now summit at 11 when he walks in the front door and he looks at that like I think he's holding me accountable to that oh totally for sure you know like he's holding me accountable to, you know, continuing to give generously.

52:03I mean, he's all, he has such a big heart. He's like, how can we help these people? How can we help these people? Why don't you help these people? You know, it's great. And now, and then like, you know, making time for play. Like, I mean, they definitely, my daughter like wants to be on the trampoline for six hours. You know, dad, time for play. But I really think like if, if someone, this is a, this is a tip sometimes on the podcast, I like to think about, okay, what can someone leave with? And I think you have shown that, you know, really being clear about what your values are has really guided your family and the culture of your family.

52:32And then I have found that this exercise has been so helpful for me. And so I'm curious, like, sometimes we do our values because we learn them from our family, you know? And so we emulate things that worked really well growing up. Oftentimes, you know, and this is often the case, we do the opposite because something didn't work. Like, what was it like for you growing up? What was your upbringing? Because I don't really know this.

52:56Garrett Gee:This is a great question. I would say this, there's a long list on both sides of that. Like the list of things that I learned from my parents because my parents were so amazing and did such a good job at them is a very long list. And then unfortunately, there's like an equally long list of things that I think they did very poorly. And I hated about my like upbringing. And like were really difficult for me that it'd be curious. I don't know if I could tell you like off the top of my head, which one shaped me more like the good list or the bad list. I'm always interested in a combo of both. I could tell you probably which one drives me more.

53:37Garrett Gee:And it's the negative list, like the things that were difficult. Well, I mean, that's what this podcast. I mean, a lot of this podcast is about is helping people who are either struggling, stuck, having a hard time. So I would love, you know, so much of your life is about the positivity. but you know what are some of the things that were difficult that maybe have driven you and have shaped who you become and also just like how did you get through those hard times so my parents divorced when i was nine years old and my dad remarried okay and a woman came into our lives who um was just just for lack of a better word like quite evil and and uh i i knew at the time like I'm in junior high and high school.

54:18Garrett Gee:Can you tell that at age nine? Or is that looking back? Honestly, no, I knew at the time, like I hated life and I felt terrible inside and I didn't feel safe in my own home. And I was just like walking on eggshells and just like living life in fear and like hatred. And that like, I knew that existed. The interesting thing was, it wasn't until my oldest child, Dorothy was born, when I like held her for my first time, immediately I felt this like new type of love that what I there's almost like it was taught me two things immediately like like lightning bolt to the heart and that was this love that you're feeling is the same love between God to you and then this love is what every parent should have for their child and in the weirdest way in that exact moment I came to the realization of like i grew up in an abusive household and that's often what happens the love that i should be having from my i would spend like holidays with my mom and have a great relationship with my mom and love her dearly but the house that i was growing up in was my dad and my stepmom yeah and it was my stepmom that like it doesn't matter who your parents are whatever household a child is in they should be receiving that parental love yeah and it was in that moment that i realized like not only did I not receive that, but I was in an abusive situation.

55:45Garrett Gee:Physical or emotional? Mostly, mostly emotional. Okay. And honestly, there's times where I wish it would have just been physical and not emotional because at that age, like what you can do to a child to put them through like nonstop years of emotional abuse, like, I don't know. But the saving grace for me was at that age is also when I met two friends, just two guys in seventh grade. I was that kid sitting alone at lunch and they invited me to sit with them. And that quickly became not just my best friends, but like whether they knew it or not, they were like the angels of my life who saved me in a time where like I didn't want to be alive.

56:28Garrett Gee:I didn't want to be going to school. And you were in seventh grade when this happened? I think this goes back to like, you know, we hear a lot as parents say like just how important it is of your kid's friend group. I think at the age about seventh grade, I've heard a lot of stories since then. I've shared sometimes my journey of that is like such a pivotal age for kids. And I think it's mostly based off of friends. As parents, you want to think that like you're the number one influence in your kids' lives. I think so often, so often it's the friends. Yeah, yeah. It really, I mean, it really, really is.

57:03I mean, Tony Robbins has said multiple times that if you wanna understand the trajectory of someone's life, look at the five people they spend the most time with. Unfortunately, your stepmom was one of those people. But then also, God, universe, whatever you wanna believe, sent these two angels and these friends in. And that counteracted some of that, obviously.

57:27Garrett Gee:um there there a good summary of like the situation was I remember there was one night that was just so terrible in my house that I ran out of my house ran away from home and went over to my best friend's house it was middle of the night yeah and I'm like knocking on his window and I remember his parents like woke up he let me in I go in and I literally just like flopped down onto his bed and I'm crying and his parents come downstairs and they they see me and I don't know now that I'm a parent I think there could be a lot of people out there that would be like hey troublesome kid from a troublesome house like stay away from my angel like stay away from my house but how much that family welcomed me in like I owe them a lot because of how much they truly like saved me and saved my life at that age how I don't know it's been an interesting situation where now if you were to ask me like I feel like there's a lot of people who would say hey Garrett what you should do is like completely forgive your stepmom and just move on because you're wearing more of a burden than you are and I like I might be wrong but this is how I feel I pretty quickly correct them and be like no if you knew how much of a drive yeah like that pain that lives inside me, like that, that's my like origin story.

58:46Garrett Gee:That's my like superhero origin story. And I think that's a scenario for a lot of people when something traumatic happens, you can either take that pain and it's your origin story to become a villain or to become a hero. But like that level of pain and trauma, it's going to change you and you get to choose, you get to choose villain or hero. And I'm really proud of how much I've taken that pain and just used it as like a driving force to try to be a hero in every way possible and so i i truly like i hope i never forget the feelings that i felt you know growing up because i never want my own kids or anyone out there to like feel that level of hatred and pain yeah i mean do you still talk to your stepmom no it was it was a crazy i just for the sake of this yeah i don't know if i've ever shared this it's just a oh we love stuff that's never been shared on no magic pill here There you go.

59:37Garrett Gee:Get this. You said the magic words. We're all leaning in. So I'm now a senior in high school. I've lived with this person for six years. Like the most crucial, we call them the dark ages. Yeah. My dad and I were in Utah and we were going up to Idaho because my cousin was going on a church mission. So we were going to go say goodbye. So we were going to drive up to Idaho, spend the night and come back the next day. This is going to be like a 12 hour trip. It was going to be me, my little sister, my dad and my stepmom and my stepmom, last minute says, hey, I'm not going to go. You guys go ahead.

1:00:10Garrett Gee:Go ahead. Have a great time. Okay. And her saying, go ahead. Have a great time. Yeah. That's how mean she was. Like the fact that she's like, have a great time. I was like, what's gotten to you? Like you never say anything nice. Yeah. The fact that you said have a great time. That's a little weird. You're in a weird mood. Okay. Anyways, whatever. We drive up to Idaho. We return home 12 hours later and our house is empty. She had completely taken everything, moved out, like furniture. Everything was gone. In 12 hours. It was impressive. In 12 hours. She's gone and I haven't seen her since. Wow.

1:00:42Well, I mean, that sounds like a blessing. I have. Honestly. Yeah, like, I mean, yeah, I'd say take it all.

1:00:49Garrett Gee:I remember our family came together that night. Like even my older siblings, I'm one of six, like had gone off to college and lived in different, like we all came together to be there. And it was, we went around in a circle. My dad's like, I just want each person to go and say like, how are they feeling in the moment? And one by one, each of us kids said, I'm sad for like my dad. This was his second divorce and we just want you to be happy. And then my oldest sister, who's like pretty hardcore and just a boss and says it like it is. She's like, can I just point out? Nobody is sad that she's gone.

1:01:18Garrett Gee:Everyone is sad because for our dad. And she's like, this is a beautiful thing. This is a good thing for our family. That's amazing. Well, during that time, you talk about these two guys that you've met in seventh grade. Are those guys still in your life? Yeah. Yeah, Alex Madsen and Morgan Lyman. And I saw them last week. Oh, yes, I love it. They were with me in Samoa. Oh, really? And I mean, just best friends for life. We were really close. That's great. Well, it's so important to have those male friendships at all stages of your life. And as we get older and inevitably, we're gonna deal with stuff.

1:01:54Aging parents, for me, I've been through two divorces. Those guys have been there for me. and I'm so happy to hear what started in seventh grade has, you know, has continued to blossom into this deep male friendship. Totally, totally, yeah. They've been a rock in my life for sure. That's awesome. Now, there's a lot of people I talk to, mainly guys, but men and women, middle age, that feel like they had these great friendships in seventh grade or in college. They come out of college, they start working, they start a family, and they kind of, those friendships kind of fall by the wayside because they're just other priorities.

1:02:30They got to make money. They got to take their kids to school. They got to keep a good relationship with their wife. You know, what would you say to someone who's listening that's maybe like, man, like, I can't find those seventh grade friends anymore. Like, I've let those friendships pass and I'm feeling kind of lonely or I'm feeling a little bit, you know, down and my kids are getting ready to go to college

1:02:50Garrett Gee:and what am I going to do then? I mean, I think you nailed that on the head, but as soon as you said priorities, it comes down to like what you care about most. Yeah. And that's been it for my wife and I. Not just like to have strong friendships, but like I want my wife to have her own strong friendships and her own strong girlfriends. Yeah, exactly. So important. And then, I mean, for my birthday, she knows she flies out my two friends to come be with me every year in Hawaii because she knows that's what I want most in life. Yeah, that's awesome. And so it's making that a priority. And like, yeah, to anyone watching or listening, I think that is the greatest like medicine, therapy, all the above that you can do is to have those relationships because it's not only like the foundation for you that can be like the rock of your life.

1:03:38Garrett Gee:But I also think there's a very key aspect when it comes to lifelong friends that you were friends with as like children because you get back together and you become children again. Like when me and my two buddies are together, we're goofing off and joking and playing like we're just kids again. I love it. Well, I'm going to throw out a challenge. I was at a men's retreat a couple years ago when I was kind of having a hard time. And this guy, Andrew Horn, who put it on, put a challenge out. And he said, I want you right now to spend an hour. And I want you to think of five friends that you in your life that you have maybe have, you know, kind of drifted a little bit.

1:04:15but you really wish that you had them back in your life in a more meaningful way. Don't text them. Don't call them. Don't send them an email. Send them a video note. So make a video. In less than a minute, tell them why you're thinking of them, you know, why you miss them, and one way that you would like to, you know, rekindle the relationship. I love that. Anyone who's listening, I'd say just even if you do two or three guys or girls or whoever it is, but do it after the show and you'll be amazed at the response. When I did it, some of the guys, you know, immediately were like, man, I feel the same way.

1:04:54Like, let's go play golf next week or let's, you know, let's find a way to go camping. Let's get our kids together. I mean, it was, I did have one person respond with like, oh, thanks for the super intimate video. Random awkward. You know, there was no awkwardness at all. And I really think it's a great challenge. Like I always try to, you know, once again, and have things that people can take away from the show. And hearing how important this was for you, knowing how important it's been on my journey, especially through the dark times, just make those videos and see what happens.

1:05:23Garrett Gee:I also think you pointed out something really good where you'd send out that video and then it would lead to a camping trip or a hangout or getting together. I think a lot of people just kind of wait too much for stuff like that to come along and be invited when they could be the person to plan it and set it up. And I'll do this multiple times a year. I'll put together some sort of experience or trip or something and then invite a lot of people. And because people are just busy with life, I'll get a lot of no's. But like, yeah, the people who know, know to say yes, because it's always just such a meaningful time together.

1:05:55But it doesn't have to be expensive. It doesn't have to be far away. You know, it literally could be you're going camping, you know, or just in nature, especially, especially for men. I think nature is so important. So I'm really excited to hear from people that do this. And so if you do, send me a message on Instagram and tell me how the experience was and what your responses back were. I love that. I'll do it as well. As soon as you brought it up, immediately multiple names popped up in my mind that I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it for a couple too. It's great. Okay. Well, you just got, speaking of friendships and kind of male bonding, I love that you're literally coming straight from playing a professional soccer match representing Tonga.

1:06:34Is that correct? now you're 39 years old right so when i think of a 39 year old athlete i think of retirement i don't think i'm gonna start playing professional soccer at age 39 like like tell how'd you get to do this and like what itch are you scratching by doing this at 39 for real as well said that that's a

1:06:52Garrett Gee:good way to explain it is a definite i mean i would argue it's a itch that like every athlete that never went pro like always would you know um it all came about because somebody reached out to me on Instagram and said, Hey, I'm part of a professional soccer team in Tonga. And we just qualified for the first time ever in this OFC tournament where we might qualify for the club world cup. And it allows us three international players. And we'd like to invite you to be one of them. Wow. And I was like, no questions asked. Like, yeah, I'm in. Yeah. When really the questions my mind is like, why are you inviting me?

1:07:25Garrett Gee:I'm old. Like, you know, I never went pro you could be inviting most like anyone. Like, why are you inviting me? But again, no questions asked. I just said yes. And then once it was like the second conversation, I was like, I actually do have some questions for you, almost like demands. I'm like, I'm in, but if I'm going to do this, I would like to, cause I like immediately go to their Instagram page and see like the vibe of this team. And I was like, all right, you guys need new jerseys. I'll sponsor the jerseys. If you don't have a sponsor, like I'll pay for them. I want to design three new kits for you.

1:07:55Garrett Gee:And you mentioned three international players. If I can pick them, then like I'm in, even though I was in no matter what. And so I did it. I sponsored new jerseys. We designed three new kits for them. And then the player that they let me bring along with me, I invited one of my childhood best friends that we grew up playing together, Morgan Lyman. He and I grew up playing together our entire lives. Amazing. And I told him, and they said, oh, amazing. Like, what club did he play for? And I just said, I like, look, he makes me a better man and a better player. If you want me at my finest, you're going to take him.

1:08:29Garrett Gee:Amazing. And just left it at that. I love it. because that's the truth of it. And I mean, props to us. We went into this not knowing, like, do our bodies still work? How can we play a whole 90-minute soccer game? Are we going to be the worst ones on this team or the best? Are we going to get any playing time at all? And so it just went into it like completely blind. And he had never been to Tonga before. The tournament took place in Samoa. That's so cool. Were your kids there? Did they see it? Yeah, yeah. So Jess and the kids all traveled all the way out to Samoa. Our other best friend, Alex Madsen, who I mentioned, he came out with one of his sons and just made a whole, whole experience of it.

1:09:06Garrett Gee:The love and support there was like at an all time. And also there's so much like silliness to the story of like, like any true professional athlete in their prime could look at me and being like, yeah, keep calling yourself a pro athlete. Like you got to play in one tournament where I get all that. And I'm like, I don't care. Zero shame here. Zero pride. I love the experience of it. And that's like so much of how I'm living my life is like, you know, just embracing these experiences that come my way. So yeah, I love it. I like rock my own jersey all the time. I'm super proud of it. It's great.

1:09:39I mean, that's really one of the main reasons I wanted to have you on the podcast because, you know, having watched your life on social media from afar and then meeting you in person, you in person are exactly everything that I hoped you would be in meeting you. And, you know, and I think today I've been so grateful because, you know, we've talked about some hard stuff. We've talked about, you know, parenting, you know, but I think the overall theme that I find from you that I want people to take away and think about and goes back to one of the challenges earlier about the family values is like really take some time to be intentional about your North Star.

1:10:18Because I feel like whether it was the story of, you know uh selling your company or it's how you think about parenting or it's you know all of these things it always comes down to you know like like really a north star you know and i think that life goes by fast we're all moving we're all at different stages um and it's easy to have this excuse of like i'm just in the grind you hear well you are if you choose to be you know and and i'm not saying that there aren't tons of pressures and work and different things and life situations, but it doesn't cost any money to grab a journal, which I know you do a lot, grab a pen and write down like, what are the values that are guiding the decisions I'm making?

1:11:01You know, like we all started with your list of the seven things on how to be rich in life. And if there's anyone I've met that's rich in life, it's you. And I hope that anyone listening to this can learn from that. And I just want to thank you so much for being on the show. And, you know, also I always say is like, if whether it's making the video for your friends, you know, which I hope everyone listening does, because it's going to be so fun to hear the responses, you know, or it's making a family mission statement. Like there's a lot of people that need this message. So please share this episode with someone else.

1:11:34And I just am so, so grateful that we got to have this conversation. If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend, family member, or someone you love. Because No Magic Pill is not just a podcast, it's a resource to help us all live better lives. Hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode and let us know what you think by leaving a comment. A quick note that this episode is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical questions or concerns you may have. There's more No Magic Pill with Lemonada Premium.

1:12:19You can listen to every episode ad-free, plus subscribers also get access to exclusive bonus interview excerpts from select guests and special behind-the-scenes content. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcast or go to LemonadaPremium.com to subscribe on any other app. You can also listen ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership. No Magic Pill is a production of Lemonada Media and the Enough Foundation. This show is produced by Wubatu Shimalash, Catherine Barnes, and Keegan Zema. Additional production by Ivan Karayev and Kristen Lepore. Post-production by Oranda Studio, Jackie Danziger is Head of Content at Lemonada Media.

1:13:09Executive Producers are me, Blake Mycoskie, Jessica Cordova-Kramer, and Stephanie Whittles-Wax. Special thanks to Jillian Delorio, Jennifer Song, Maggie Wertz, Andrew Fine, James Johnson, Devin Robbins, Emily Ledbetter, Chris Orwig, Sean McGurk, Jasmine Burgess, and the entire Enough Foundation team. The Enough Foundation's mission is to spread reminders in every form, bracelets, messages, actions, and community until feeling enough becomes the cultural default. To learn more, visit weareenough.co. If this episode spoke to you, please share it with a friend, family member, or someone you love.

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