How I Won This Angry Customer’s Business Back

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1:59Do you hear from angry people? Angry people who don't like a thing that you made or don't like a thing that you sell or don't like something you wrote or posted on social media or whatever. They're angry and they're angry at you and they're very, very loud about it. Well, I bet it's pretty common. It's something I get a fair amount. And let me tell you about an email that I got not long ago. It started with the subject line, waste. Just waste. So I opened it up immediately, and the email began with the word, really? And then it went on to insult Entrepreneur Magazine and to complain in some very vulgar terms about an article we recently published.

2:41It wasn't a controversial article. It was just a profile of an interesting entrepreneur that this person really didn't like. And the writer concluded by saying, I won't be re-subscribing. So what would you do if you got this email? I have experimented quite a bit with how to respond to these kinds of emails because they come in and you could just ignore them. Sure, nothing bad will happen. You could argue, but it doesn't really get you anywhere. And I wanted to know, is there some way to just calm people down and maybe just get them to, well, not take action? To stay subscribed? To stay listening?

3:30To stay whatever? Are we able to retain angry people? It is possible. I will have you know because it is what I did with this particular email. And I'm going to share with you what I wrote to them and the lessons I have learned from navigating this kind of anger. So that's what we're going to do on this episode of Problem Solvers. It is how to win back the angry customer, or at least how to just calm people down. and it's coming up after the break. All right, we're back and I am soon going to share exactly how I engaged with this very angry email. But first, let's talk about anger because, you know, we all get some amount of it directed at us.

4:17And I would say that we generally reply in one of two ways. Either number one, we ignore it. After all, what's the point in arguing with angry people? Or number two, we might argue back either to convince them that they're wrong or at least to try to preserve what we have. In this case, for me, it might have been to convince them to resubscribe to the magazine. But here's what I have come to like to do. As long as a person seems reasonable, that is to say, they're not some crazy conspiracy theorist looking for a fight. You know, they're just angry, even if they're kind of irrationally angry. Then I reply as fast as possible.

4:52And I never argue with them. And I never ask for their business back. I just show them that I've heard them. Why? Because of two theories that I have. Theory number one, more than anything in the world, people just want to feel heard. And theory number two, angry people do not expect a response. In fact, their low expectation fuels their anger. They don't think they'll be heard. And therefore, it's like they're showing up at a door that will never open. And what can you do if nobody will answer the door? Well, you make a ton of noise. So at least they can hear you inside. That is why I swing the door open quickly.

5:31It startles them. So here's what I wrote. I wrote, thanks for the feedback, and I'm sorry that piece upset you. I'm always interested in what readers have to say, so if you don't mind sharing additional feedback, I'd like to know, have you been dissatisfied with other stories in the magazine, or was it simply your distaste for this one piece that has led you to the decision not to resubscribe? Then I went on to explain our perspective, not in a defensive way, but rather just to show this guy who was writing me this angry email that despite what he thought about the article in question, it was not created with malice.

6:07And by the way, I'm going to just back up to some of the language that I wrote there because I started that email back to them. Thanks for the feedback, and I'm sorry that the piece upset you. I posted this whole exchange on my newsletter, which by the way, you can get by going to jasonpfeiffer.com slash newsletter. And somebody wrote me and said they really loved my approach, but didn't love the word upset because it sort of infantilized the person. It was almost like I was treating them as a hysterical person and that maybe, I'm sorry, the piece disappointed you or something else like that would have been better.

6:46And that's fair feedback. But anyway, I used the word upset. Okay. So let's try to get inside the mind of the person who is angry and writing to us. Here's the thing. People often take things personally, which is exhausting and often unreasonable, but it does carry some kind of logic. When we create something, we are asking people to give us a little of their time. And time is their most valuable resource. Time is a fraction of their lives never to be regained. If they feel that their time isn't well spent, that feels like robbery. That is personal. Now, to be clear, I am not making excuses for people to be rude or worse.

7:25People need to calm down. Calm down, people. And some people cannot be reasoned with, and therefore they are not worth the bother. But if we are going to win people over who are upset, then we have to at least start by recognizing where they're coming from. We might not agree with them, but they are coming from somewhere. So that's what I tried to do. I wrote here in continuing the email, I wrote, we work hard to make a magazine that we hope will be enlightening and informative and surprising for entrepreneurs. But I also said, we know not everything will be beloved by all. And then instead of trying to convince this person to resubscribe, I just took as fact that they are not.

8:07I wrote, I hope we have at least a few more issues to impress you before your subscription runs out. And guess what? This guy responded. He told me more about why he hated that particular article because I had prompted exactly that. So the person wrote, I have gotten a good deal of value from entrepreneur in the past. And sure, there are some articles that are amazing and some that don't interest me as much. But no, no other article made me do an eye roll so high that I actually got dizzy. They wrote, okay, I mean, you know, we don't need to rub it in that much. But do you note a change in tone, an important change in tone?

8:44Now he is engaging with another human being, me. And suddenly, entrepreneur is not a waste, as he had called us before. In response, I decided to try something a little risky. I was curious to understand what was driving his reaction. It was such a big reaction for just one article. So here's what I wrote. I wrote, got it. Thanks for the additional feedback. I'm just always surprised and a little confused when someone sees one thing they don't like and it leads them to cancel a subscription. It's just not how I function as a consumer. If, say, I don't like one thing that Netflix produced, I don't cancel Netflix as a result, but I understand that everyone makes their decisions differently.

9:25Always helpful to learn how our readers are reacting. That was the end of that email. Like I said, it was a little risky, but instead of confronting him directly, I put his reaction into the context of my own, and I never questioned his decision because I never wanted to get him on the defensive. And here was his response. It was very short, but very telling. Here's what he wrote. Sometimes I use hyperbole for effect, period. In other words, he's not canceling. He was heated and probably didn't expect me to engage him, and now he's feeling a little sheepish. Sometimes I use hyperbole for effect.

10:03You know what? Maybe, dude, don't use hyperbole for effect. That's what I wanted to say. Like, it's not productive. Just don't do it. It's stupid. It makes you sound stupid. But anyway, I've got to reel it in. That's not what I'm saying. I'm keeping very calm here. Because here's the thing. We live in a loud, noisy, often angry world. And we will get nowhere by joining that anger. But when we hear people out, we can replace that anger with something else. We'll start with basic decency and we'll build from there. I have done versions of this many, many times over the course of my career. I have responded to almost every angry email that I have ever gotten, so long as the person sounded reasonable.

10:48And oftentimes, once I engage them by not making them feel defensive, by not insulting them, they reveal something. Or they seem a little embarrassed to have come at my door with a battering ram when I was willing to just open it up. And either way, I think that at the end, we all accomplish a little something, which is to say that I think I generally retain that subscriber. And that person maybe thinks twice the next time they're feeling a little upset about something and are considering whether to send a nasty email. And I would say that that's progress. And it's progress that we can only get by not arguing.

11:25but by instead just trying to make a connection.

11:56dot com. Also check out my other podcast. It's called Build for Tomorrow. In each episode, I take on some belief that we have that holds us back from progress and show you why it is not as bad as you think. Problem Solvers is a production of Entrepreneur Media and comes out every Monday morning. So make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss an episode. Thanks to Deepa Shah for production. My name is Jason Pfeiffer. See you next week.