Gyles's diary, episode 16

0:21Welcome to More Rosebud. More rosebud is, well, it's rosebud with a little twist. I'm starting in my diaries today, I'm going into my gap year. I'm 18, I've just left school, and I've got a year between leaving school and going to university. And I said to Harriet, have you got any diaries from your gap year? And I think she's brought something in that she may be persuaded to share with us. But I've realised that Harriet and I, as well as being colleagues, are definitely now good friends. And I say that because a week ago, I lent her a book from one of my shelves, and she lent me a book from one of hers.

1:07This is not something you should generally do. You should never lend books, because as a rule, you never get them back. But we were talking about favourite books, and you lent me, Harriet, a book by David Lodge. A writer that I really like, David Lodge. He's no longer alive. I was lucky enough to meet him. I didn't know him. I simply wrote to him as a fan and invited him to a drinks party. And he turned up and he was delightful. And for people who don't know his work, how would you describe him or the novels that he wrote? He was famous for writing what became described as campus novels based on modern university campuses, 1960s universities.

1:49He worked at Birmingham, didn't he? So they're about academics, they're about students. I like them because they're funny and intelligent and I like things that are funny. But this book I lent you is actually a biography, isn't it? But it's an interesting biography. It's fascinating. It's about H.G. Wells, one of the most remarkable writers of the 20th century, hugely famous at the beginning of the century, less so as it went by. And he had the most amazing private life. He was a radical. He was a socialist. Well, I haven't got very far into the book. I know quite a bit about him because I've written about other figures who were in his circle and I'm fascinated by it.

2:27It's full of sex. Well, I know. I think as you said that to me earlier today, I suddenly remembered it all. I mean, it really is. Yeah, they were all over the place. They were all over each other, all over the place. Made me think, we've got to get, I mean, we've had quite a bit of sex on Rosebud. And we've had people telling wonderful stories of that. I mean, recently, Rachel Sterling was so funny about sex. And also, very interesting to me, that she and Guy Garvey, her husband, who I hope is going to be a guest in the future. That would be great. that we went to see her play, didn't we? Yes.

3:06Was brilliant. Giant. She was brilliant in it. That's by the by. But she was saying how they happily would discuss previous encounters with old lovers with one another. Yeah. I thought that's very interesting. So we've had people talking about sex. Rupert Everett was fascinating on sex. Charles Dance was fascinating. Lots. But we haven't had anybody who's led quite the life of H.G. Wells. No. So if anybody's got a suggestion of who we should be asking, the modern H.G. Wells, let us know. Well you wanted Cynthia someone like Cynthia Payne I mean that's different I did know Cynthia Payne and I did interview her I remember the most memorable line from her interview with me people who don't remember Cynthia Payne she ran basically she ran a brothel didn't she and you she sold you luncheon vouchers and you paid for, you bought the luncheon vouchers in advance and then you handed them in when you came for the services that were offered at her.

4:00Was it a lot of MPs and things? Well, I think maybe some MPs had got involved. There were famous people who got involved. That's how I became famous and notorious. But I liked her very much. And the line that I remember most vividly from the interview, she said, you can get a man to do anything at all. Anything at all, at all, at all. Anything you want. You can get a man to do anything until he's de-spunked. Anyway, that was Cynthia Perrin. So maybe there'll be more of that. She would have been a great guest, wouldn't she? She would have been a great guest. She would have been a great guest. But I tell you what HG Wells is, it's more people that are into polyamory.

4:35It was a bit more of a sort of menage a trois. Oh, there was a lot of that going on. That kind of, a bit like Vita Sackville, when we spoke to Adam Nicholson and Sarah Raven. Yes. Vita Sackville West and Violet Trefusis. And didn't Adam tell us that Vita Sackville West had at least 50? Seduced 50, at least 50 women. Extraordinary. and the lives some people lead i sometimes think you and i have led quite tame lives we have but so we need to find someone that's living in that kind of setup free free love yeah so if you are in that state and would like to share it with us or if you know somebody who you think would be a good guest on that account we're happy to um well we like to talk about that we don't talk about sex enough but thank you anyway for lending me the book i lent you you haven't started it yet i have Are you liking it or not?

5:23I'm enjoying it so far. I mean, I've read three pages. Like me. My problem is I read before I go to bed, sleep, and I read three pages and I fall asleep. Yeah, me too. Then I have to reread two of the three pages the next day. So the last book I've read, I think it's taken me five months. Oh, this book certainly will see me through the summer. Yeah, I mean, it is hopeless. Yeah, we are hopeless. When I think how much I used to read. But I want you to read to me today because before I share my gap year diaries, I asked you to bring some diaries in. And where did you find the thing you brought in, which is a, what is it, an A5 notebook?

6:02I think it's a notebook. I must have bought it in India. In India? Is that where you had your gap year? Yeah. The Vertex Spiral Notebook, number five. And you've got lovely handwriting. And you've got lots of addresses on inside. And great. Please, would you read a little bit of this to us? I mean, who knows? I have cast my eye over it, so I know it's nothing too embarrassing, but I'm reading this fresh off the page, no editing. No, you're right. Nothing's been redacted. Good. Well, nothing's redacted from my diaries either. No. So, okay, give it a go. India, it says, 19th of March, 93. I'm sure India would be a much poorer place without station retiring rooms and under the eagle eyes of Matron we spent a night in the one at Tritchie.

6:51We were only planning on a fleeting visit and so early rising was the order of the day. The Rockfort Temple is up about 500 steps, all painted with red and white stripes and sheltered by thick stone walls. The atmosphere was strangely medieval and I really felt as if I was making a pilgrimage as we climbed on upwards. I could never describe the atmosphere in a Hindu temple. It is living and breathing in a way that I've never known a church to do. People are everywhere. Children, school parties, pilgrims. The smell of incense and camphor is heady. It's funny, but you smell it everywhere in India.

7:30People complain about the stench here, but I never notice it because of all the incense it's intoxicating at Sri Rangam temple three kilometers of complex with the outer walls amid the usual throbbing bazaars cars and buses and people just driving through we invested in a guide and felt that at last we were understanding some of the rituals and symbolism within Hinduism oh this could get a bit heavy but anyway who are you with yeah sorry I've just launched, this is just the middle of a trip. I'd started it in January, at the end of January. Who's with you? I'm with two friends, Julia and Anna.

8:12And then we meet people along the way. And these were school friends of yours? They were school friends. And it actually was the sort of trip I could imagine you ending up on because Julia's father was the British High Commissioner in New Delhi. I'd met her at boarding school. You know, I said I went to boarding school for two years. so at boarding school you suddenly meet these people with interesting backgrounds and and there were a few people whose parents lived abroad obviously and that's why they were at boarding school in England and her father was a diplomat and he'd risen to the top and become the British High Commissioner in Delhi it was his last posting it's a big one so Julia and I were friends and she said well come and stay with me which was great because what we did was you know when I landed in New Delhi I went and stayed at this house the residence where her dad and mother mum lived which is designed by Lutyens it's this incredible house with pillars and lawns and servants and huge dining rooms and in the middle of New Delhi and then we'd go off on these little trips for a month say where we would then really rough it because we were just 18 we didn't have a lot of money and you could travel really cheaply in India.

9:31So we go off from this kind of palatial New Delhi life on a third class ticket on a sleeper train and stay in these really cheap hotels with cockroaches all over the place and, and live, you know, eat cheap meals. And so it was good. You got a bit of both, but obviously looking back now, I realized how lucky I was to have that base in Delhi and yeah you'd go back and have proper showers and a bath and someone coming and asking you all the time if you wanted a drink and but so this is on one of these trips this is in south southern India so Tamil Nadu Kerala that was the first big trip we went on we got this huge long journey to Hyderabad and then we went around and Julia was kind of you know she was in charge really because she'd been in India for a while so her dad had been working there and she was really well traveled she'd grown up in all these countries Burma and she knew what she was doing she was she was the one that made us get up at sometimes five in the morning and I said an early start was the order of the day it would have been as sun rose because Julia was insistent that we had to get out before it got too hot so we'd be up at the absolute crack of dawn um getting you know buses or rickshaws or whatever to these temples and going around we took it all really seriously but that was julia she was quite serious she is quite a serious person so that so this is what i'm describing madurai is a great place you feel the atmosphere as soon as you get off the train we're staying in the hugest hotel it has 500 rooms or something amazing like that and i'm afraid i had my first slightly disturbing experience when someone knocked on the door and tried to push his way into the room and then five minutes later I saw him peering in at us through the window.

11:25I put up with and quite enjoy a lot of hellos and smiles and vague gropes and mad conversations but sometimes it goes a bit too far. Oh yes it really does I say. Hooray! The temple here is just marvellous. New adjective time folks. Oh gosh it's a bit embarrassing. It's beautiful and has the most impressive aura. Oh dear. We met the loveliest guy. It's funny, but I can't get his face out of my head. In some ways, he was a bit too earnest. A lot of people here can be like that. He needs to lighten up a bit, like Anna and Julia, really. But he had the nicest face and feeling about him. Dishy is how my mum would have described him.

12:17I wonder how mum is. Does she see what I'm doing right now? I'd love to think so, because I think she'd be pleased. It's odd that people die, just disappear. I sometimes realise how impermanent life is, and it's just the strangest thing that we're even here. This is because it wasn't long after your mother had died, you're writing about this this is fascinating it's both a travelogue encounters with strange indian men and um some of them are dishy and some of them a little bit pressing yes and thinking obviously about your mother and whether she can she knows what's going on yes it's lovely read a bit more well i don't i mean the weird thing is so my mother had died as you say when i was 13 so five years before but i don't really ever go into it other than sort of small little incidental things like that and oddly i think i was just getting on with life it's yeah you are getting on with life you're just you're enjoying what you're seeing you're coping with people pushing into your room at night and but clearly retreating and you're thinking um i wonder what mum would have thought or thought of this.

13:28Read a bit more. I don't know if there is anything very... Well, maybe what I should... Do you know what we should do? Is I should get you to go away and read all of that and then do a proper episode. We'd have a proper episode called Harriet's Gap Year. Okay. We've got a flavour of it. You're a natural travel writer and we want to know more about these two girls you were travelling with and also the dishy boys you're encountering and how you're coping with life. Oh, I'm going to read this bit. Oh, please do. I mean, who knows? There's not very much gossip in this, I'm realising. Sorry, but I know that's what you want.

14:08What to do is my current dilemma. This is in green pen. It's a different pen. How far can you achieve satisfaction in your life? Or is it actually attainable at all? At the moment, I can't help wondering how you can piece your life together of all the different aspects you need to fulfill you. Satisfying work, new experiencing, traveling, love, solitude, relaxation, music, children. I wonder if anyone really manages it and remains happy and zestful, which is the most important thing. I keep realizing how some people seem to have closed their eyes to feeling the real joy of existence and all of the things which surround them.

14:54If I ever lost that, I couldn't see the point in breathing at all. Bitterness and criticism is like a bad weed that eeks, that edges its way through the cracks and strangles the good freedom and affection. I get it totally. Wow, that was interesting, wasn't it? But it's deep. I know. I mean, what an interesting girl you are. 18, thinking deep thoughts. Oh, I want more of this. I love the fact that I say zestful is the most important thing. I love you. I think you're wonderful at that age. It's fantastic. Yeah. Well, I have to say that despite the fact I lost my mum when I was young, I was and I think I still am keen that life the most important thing was to be fun and had to had to be joyful and not to be not to kind of dwell on it or be sad which actually has been harder than I thought it was at this age I thought I think I thought I had it all sorted and I was never going to be sad and it was fine actually the thing with the childhood bereavement is it does stay with you, actually.

16:08And it's hard. You don't escape it the way you think you're going to at this age. I thought I'd dealt with it. Given how much childhood bereavement actually features on Rosebud, we didn't expect it to, but so often people have that as part of their story. It might be a subject that we could discuss, maybe get in a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I'd love that. I mean, you know, I'd be welling up the whole thing. You would be welling up, but I think we'd find it very interesting to hear about, to learn about. Because I was just thinking the other day we had Dame Penelope Keith on and she never knew her father.

16:44Yes, yeah. So it is childhood bereavement. I mean, she just said he went away and that was it. Yeah. But nonetheless, it is. No, it has a huge effect. Oh, and Kristen Scott Thomas, she also lost her father when she was young. And I think I would, actually I would say what it leaves you with, which I think is sort of impossible to escape from is a kind of a hole or a loneliness or a something inside you that's not finished or will never be quite put to sleep or satisfied yeah and I and I sort of reflected on that a bit recently because it's odd because I I did think I'd sort of dealt with it was fine mum was dead and I'd moved on as an 18 year old and actually what I've realised is yes you never are and and it's as if the processes that you need to go through during adolescence one of which is rejecting your parents and growing up and rebelling and all you don't do any of that and in some ways you you remain and your parent remains trapped in this time before you know in this childhood time and that's why I think some people say that people who have early trauma or whatever get stuck a bit in the past there's a part of you that never fully grows up or gets a bit yes stuck or lost gosh sorry very deep it's it does affect you for the rest of your life it's very interesting hg wells we began with was a friend of jm barry who wrote a lot about this of course and peter pan people finding it difficult to grow up and why and well this is a big subject your homework uh harriet jane is this you've got to go and look at your diary and actually read that and choose some extracts that's what i'll do and i'll type it up and we'll do a proper episode of harriet jane's teenage diary yeah and we'll have you during your gap year and we can explore some of this and we'll have a separate episode where we actually explore the effects of childhood bereavement yes that I mean, from a selfish perspective, I would love that.

18:58I think it'd be interesting to everybody. Well, after that, I think there's, you know the word bathos? Anticlimax. I think my diary is going to be anticlimactic after that. I don't think so, Giles. I mean, I think your diary is a second to none, actually. Well, you're very kind. Yeah. We are in my gap year now. I'm looking forward properly to hearing about your gap year. Thank you for giving us a taster of it. Can I just ask you, sorry, I just interrupted you there. I don't mind. Was it common to have a gap year? Because I think now people think of it as being a bit of a posh, privileged thing to do.

19:30Was it seen like that when you were young? If you went to Oxford or Cambridge, you did the seventh term. Oh, so you had two terms to fill. Yeah, whatever school you came from. Yeah. So you had two terms to fill because you would fill the following order. So people did have a gap year. Yeah. Do people have gap years now? Yes, but I do think it's got a slight... So my children aren't interested in them because they think they're things that private school kids do. Or don't they want to do things that... No, they think it's not... They want to get on with the working life. Yeah, I'm trying to persuade my younger one to do one because she speaks Spanish and I want her to get better at it.

20:11I think it's a great idea to do it. It's a great idea. I mean, you've got to earn your living. It doesn't mean to say... You may well think, ah, yes, well, posh kids, their parents give them money and off they go to somewhere interesting but the i mean i'm sure i've mentioned before the challenge that the late duke of edinburgh issued in 1956 55 uh 60 years ago to young people to go around the world during their gap year or certainly before they began work on a fiver yes leave the country well i'd earned all the money for my trip and i remember i took with me a thousand pounds it's a lot yeah but this was for four months and we were only spending i think we we were spending something like a hundred pounds a month on all of our food and board partly because we were staying we were getting to stay at julia's dad's place but also because it was so cheap in india and we were really doing it as basic as basic as possible so yeah we didn't spend a lot of money well you'll find that money worries at the heart of my gap because I had to earn my keep to spend my time in America on my gap year.

21:23Well, let's begin. I've got my diaries. I can't wait, Giles. This is going to be 1967. Giles Brandreth's still teenage diaries, my gap year. And I left Bidell's school. I was due to go to New College, Oxford. And between January and October, there were nine, 10 months, and I went to the United States of America. In those days, remember this is the 1960s, people weren't yet going to the Far East, they weren't going to Vietnam, because there was the Vietnam War on. They weren't going to Australia, because it was so far away. They would never have thought of going to South America, because that was quite dangerous.

21:58You went to America, the United States of America. So that's where I went. And the diary is going to begin in February, because that's, well, that's when I think I arrived. I don't know, that's where we're going to begin. Can I just ask you, how did you get there, on a boat or on a plane? I got there on a plane. TWA, I think it was. And I had connections. Maybe the diary explains who the people are that I went to stay with. Because if you remember, in our last episode, I talked about being at an arts festival at school, an international arts festival. And I met some teachers and indeed some kids from a school in Baltimore, the Park School in Baltimore.

22:40And I'd said, I'm thinking of going on my gap here to America. And they said, you must come here. And the teacher said, we'll get you a job. You can teach at the school. You can, you know, I thought I'm going to be the same age as the kids because I'm only 18. But anyway, so that's, that's what I went to. I went to Baltimore to this park school where I already knew Jack Ramey and his wife, Sydney, because they were teachers who had come to England and they'd met me at B-Dales. So off I'd gone. I don't think I'd ever been so far alone before. I'd obviously travelled quite a lot in Europe alone.

23:15My father took me to Heathrow, I think, and I got on this TWA flight and I ended up in Baltimore. And it's now Friday, the 17th of February 1967. I'm in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. I'm alone, upstairs, in a large house on Ridgedale Road. It's a long road. The house is number 5 ,700. It's a fine house with large rooms and an easy, slightly ramshackle feel. This is going to be my home for the next few months while I'm here teaching English and French at the Park School, Baltimore. The house belongs to Jack and Sidney Ramey. I met Jack at the CIS Festival last summer, and I like him very much. I'm tapping this out on his typewriter, sitting at his desk in the room he calls his library.

24:10It's a fine library, a library he uses, the shelves, the chairs, the floor, the grand piano, all piled high with books. Jack is 36, a little more perhaps Short, dark, plumpish A talented pianist and occasional composer Who teaches music and Latin at Park School And has done so for the past 13 years Sydney is his wife Her sister is called Robin She works at the school too On the administration side She's a large lady With close-cropped hair And a heart of gold Their children are Jack Arthur, age 7 And Mark, 6 They make my brother Ben look positively saintly. The noise from their bedroom this morning was horrendous and started at the crack of dawn.

24:57Eventually, they were silenced by their father, who, standing on the landing just outside my bedroom, hollered up to them, Shut it, kids, and turn on the boob tube! The boob tube is clearly central to the American way of life. at 10 a.m today after an excellent breakfast cereal beep which is an orange juice of sorts scrambled eggs toast and coffee i watched divorce court an extraordinary program in which real divorce cases are re-enacted with legal conferences and emotional outbursts and stage managed to allow time for the commercials to be shown wait giles so the boob tube is the tv yes i know you think it might be a garment that you wear to cover your boobs.

25:44Yes, I think my daughter's probably got one on right now. Indeed, that's what they're called, boob tubes. But there, the boob tube was the TV. It's called the boob tube. Oh, so it wasn't just something he'd made up. Well, I don't know. I think it was an American expression because, you know, you get caught in front of it. You're a booby. You just spend your time. Turn on the boob tube. Exactly. Turn on the boob tube, Giles. My gosh, you can read some of this. When we get to Americans, I'll let you read them. That's right. So I was completely mesmerised by this. You've got to remember, this is years before we had daytime television in this country.

26:15Yeah, I mean, this show, Divorce Court, sounds like Jerry Springer or... Absolutely. So this was, to me, shocking and amazing. I bet. Daytime television, cartoons at daybreak, divorces, real divorces being reenacted on television. Couldn't quite believe it.

26:41I'm now in here writing this because snow has been falling all night, thick and fast, and Baltimore's snow emergency plan, phase one, has been called into action. Across the city, there is no school today. The past two days have been memorable, to say the least. Just 48 hours ago, on Wednesday at 12 noon, accompanied by Ma and Pa and Gin, I arrived at London Airport. At 3 p.m. London time, flight TWA 701 for New York and Washington took off on schedule. Or perhaps on schedule, as I should say now. I was well placed in a window seat behind the wing with an excellent view of the world and its clouds.

27:21Soon after takeoff, newspapers and a tasty chicken lunch were served. I had no immediate neighbour, but a sweaty All-American paunch was two seats away and I had to clamber over it each time I wanted to get my free TWA soap and dentifrice. The seven-hour flight was smooth all the way. I didn't pay my two bucks for the movie, which was The Russians Are Coming, but slept right through it, waking to enjoy a snack served with mustard to add zest to eating. Ooh, zest. Yes, it's your watchword, Harriet, your watchword. JFK Airport in New York was not a happy place. Immigration and customs were neither welcoming nor courteous.

28:06Finding my way to the connecting flight was a nightmare, but I managed it. Others didn't. When the flight took off in a plane for 108, there were four hostesses and four passengers. Even so, the service wasn't up to much. We reached Dulles, the international airport serving Washington, D.C., at around 8.30 p.m. local time and were driven directly from the door of the plane to the airport building in a fantastic contraption called a mobile waiting lounge. The mobile waiting lounge was extraordinary. You got out of the airplane, Harriet, into a kind of room that was a room that was on top of a lorry.

28:45And the lorry then drove to the air terminal and the doors opened of the lounge and you got out. So it was to give you the illusion that you weren't in a bus but were in a kind of airport lounge. I mean they should bring this back. Yes. It's fantastic. Clever idea wasn't it? Anyway. Jack Ramey bless him was there to meet me. We collected my baggage. Looked round the magnificent but empty airport. Magnificent because new. Empty because it's 25 miles from Washington proper. And DC already has two airports. And set off for Baltimore. The drive was eventful. On America's newest and most deserted highway.

29:24We ran out of gas. Jack is a musician, not a mechanic. Happily, the second car that passed us stopped. And from his car, the driver telephoned a garage who sent a man to help us. You've no idea, Harriet. I thought you've entered the future. I've entered the future. And this was truly bizarre. This is 1967. And the idea that we'd meet a guy who had a car with a telephone in it was completely extraordinary. I mean, I think that's extraordinary. Yeah. Well, good. I mean, this must have been one of the only people in America with a car phone, and you happened to meet them. Well, maybe there were many more.

30:01Maybe this was the beginning of that era. Wow. By 12.30am US time, 5.30am in London, I was in bed. But six hours later, I was up again. And three hours after that, I found myself on a school bus joining a party of senior Park School students on a day-long outing to Washington, D.C. Within 24 hours of my arrival, I'd been on a guided tour of the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund, the Folger Shakespeare Library, the finest collection of Shakespeare papers in the world, and the Library of Congress. Welcome to America, Mr. Brandreth. I think I'm going to like it here. I shall miss Sal, I know.

30:43She is going to write me at least a paragraph a day and promises to be my devoted and ever faithful angel. We are both going to be faithful and concentrate on our work. park is a large school 500 pupils 95 jewish and all of them wealthy the older kids drive to school in their own cadillacs the teachers arrive in volkswagens i'm hoping the teaching will work out okay they just love my english accent and the oxford scholar thing goes down a treat so fingers crossed. I'm certainly expected. There's a charming piece about my arrival in the Postscript, the school's weekly newspaper. The British are coming.

31:29Don't be startled if some long-haired stranger speaking the Queen's English beautifully stops you in the hall on February 15, asking for directions. It will only be Giles Brandreth, the tall, dark, blue-eyed 18-year-old bringing the charm, tradition, refinement and madness of mother country to park. They will be disappointed in the short back and sides I acquired in Baker Street on Tuesday. I look nothing like a beetle. Thursday the 2nd of March 1967. Extraordinary. Last night I went to Nancy Eisner's house for port at 6.30 p.m., followed by a formally served and very splendid dinner. About 20 minutes into the meal, Mr.

32:19Eisner turned to me and said, Would you like a job, Giles? My advertising agency is always on the lookout for talent. I want you to join my team of copywriters. I believe you could go all the way. Assuming he was in jest, I said, Oh, when do I start? He replied, tomorrow. He was in earnest. He has read what I've written for the postscript. He has seen the CIS magazine that I edited. He says I speak pure copy. Some of the smartest copy he's ever heard. He has spoken with his friend, the principal of the upper school at Park, and the school is ready to release me. Apparently, the money will be fabulous and the sky's the limit.

33:06Are you tempted? This is for real. This was a big advertising agency. I was 18 and he said, join me and you're going to be one of the great advertising men of America. Giles, you absolute idiot. Not to have done it. You'd be a multi-millionaire. I would. I would. I could have been, as it were. I'm the same generation as the Saatchi brothers. And they were starting out at exactly this time in the UK. And this is where the big money is, Giles. And certainly in those days, it was extraordinary. Advertising was really sexy too and hot. Anyway, the sky's the limit. That's what I keep hearing. It's the phrase of the season.

33:48Just before I came out here, I met up with the monkey-faced boy from Stowe. Remember, I've told you about this. That's Richard Branson I'm talking about, the monkey-faced boy from Stowe, because he was launching a magazine for young people, student, and he'd written to me, and I was editing my school magazine, and we got together, and we were going to go into business together, and begin a publishing empire. Anyway, I declined, just as I declined this advertising opportunity in America. He does look a bit like a monkey, doesn't he? Well, that's how I described him in my diary. Not very gracious, but he's got the last laugh because he's the billionaire.

34:21And I'm sitting in a room with you, Harriet, reading from my diary of yesteryear. We shall conquer the world, he kept saying. This is the monkey-faced boy, dancing around like a whirling dervish. Come and join me, Giles. The sky's the limit. The sky's the limit. I made my excuses and left. I shall decline Mr Eisner's kind offer as well, but it's nice to feel wanted. Friday, the 3rd of March, 1967. I'm in the heart of Manhattan, sitting on a stool in Woolworths, with a Coke and a hamburger, having just bought myself a$6 pair of grey trousers. I drove up last night with Jack Ramey. We arrived at the Statler Hilton on 33rd Street at 6 o 'clock, And at 8pm, in the vast and thickly carpeted Georgian room, I addressed the massed ranks of the National Association of Independent Schools.

35:15My theme? Last summer's arts festival and how we need more of them. Jack Ramey is staying at the Hilton while I'm staying in Brooklyn with Agnes and Aunt Polly and a rum assortment of the McSkimming clan. These are all cousins of mine on my mother's side of the family. And they lived out in Brooklyn. Cousin Agnes is a good woman, courageous and kind, and so spruce. She was in the US Navy, flies the flag on her porch, and her lavatory bowl is filled with bright blue water. Amazing. Wow. Now, what's interesting, Harriet, is I didn't know that I was going to be reminded of this by reading this today.

36:00but I'd say almost whenever I, by chance, glance into a lavatory bowl, I think of that, because it was such a shock to me. I'd never seen, it was just obviously some cleaning fluid or the colouring that they put in the loo. Yeah, and you see it much more now, don't you? I'd never seen such a thing before. It just seemed to me amazing. From 1967 to here we are, 2025, whenever I glance at a lavatory bowl... You think about Aunt Agnes? I think about Aunt Agnes. Cousin Agnes. Well, yes, I think about Cousin Agnes and the blue water in the lavatory bowl. Quite bizarre what sticks in our mind, isn't it?

36:35Aunt Polly is 85. She's had both a stroke and a heart attack in recent days, but appeared to appreciate the china roses I bought as a belated birthday present. This has been a good day. The sun is brilliant, but the wind is sharp. I like New York. It's my kind of town. The centre of it, where I've been wandering, 3rd to 7th avenues between 38th and 47th streets, is fun. A mix of Piggly Circus and Tottenham Court Road at Christmas time. The skyscrapers are incredible. I've just emerged from the Radio City Music Hall. $1.35, but what a show. Crooning singers, symphony orchestra, oh yes, funny man on trampoline, full-scale ballet, then the endless chorus line of high-kicking Rockettes in a spectacular finale before the movie.

37:26The 25th Hour, a heart-clutching Second World War, Dr. Zhivago. Cousin Agnes would have loved it. And now, back to Brooklyn. I mustn't be late. Apparently, Aunt Polly is keeping her teeth in until she sees me. Wednesday, the 8th of March, 1967. My 19th birthday. Sidney Ramey is baking a chocolate cake, as I write. And before I go to babysit for the Kleins for$2, its birthday drinks and presents at the Bolts's. And yet, I'm not feeling very birthday-like. I'm feeling sad. See below. And I'm feeling anxious. I don't like the way my head sticks forward and my ears stick out. I don't like the fact that I haven't once looked at any of the economics textbooks I brought with me.

38:20I don't like the constant worry about money. the school was going to pay me an honorarium but there's been no mention of it yet i'm babysitting as often as i can but unless the honorarium materializes i'm going to end up working for mr eisner i'm sad because this morning i received a birthday telegram from sally at pedales in which i learned in which i learned of the death of mr badly this isn't really a surprise he was 102 too, but it marks the end of an era, and for me, the end of a special friendship. At least, I can say that I shook the hand that shook the hand of Oscar Wilde. I've spent the afternoon writing a long letter to Sal with instructions for our memorial magazine, because in anticipation of Mr.

39:12Batty's death, the B-Dot Society had asked me to edit a memorial magazine in his honour, which was published and is still available if you want to know the history of the school edited by me and indeed by Sally Henry it was published in later that year 1967 anyway that's by the by I'd like to fly home for three weeks to sort it out but I simply can't afford to I can't really afford the 13 dollars it'll cost me to get to New York tomorrow I'm going back to Brooklyn because this morning during a French class with the 12 year olds I was called away to the telephone Aunt Polly died last night, and the clan would like me to represent the English side of the family at the funeral.

39:53I've written to Mar and Pa with the news. I'd have sent a cable, but I simply don't have the dollars and cents. Oh, stop moaning about money. Well, what you must bear in mind is that my... I was very conscious that my parents didn't have a lot of money because they'd sent me to boarding school. My brother Ben was at boarding school, though my father was a successful lawyer they were spending more than they had so money was tight so I'd come with whatever I'd got and that's all I had I had a return ticket to London but that was for months ahead yeah so I couldn't just fly back it was quite an expensive place to go as well isn't it quite an expensive place to go but not like me I you know went to India and stayed in places that were 50p a night whatever but I was I was staying for free I was staying for free with the Rameys.

40:41I was going to get an honorarium. I obviously did have a little bit of money, but taking even the Greyhound bus to New York was going to cost me$13. I was conscious of all of that. Oh, but maybe there's some good news here. Yes. Thursday, the 9th of March, 1967, the honorarium,$10 per week will be forthcoming. And Mr. Klein, Vice President Allegheny Pepsi-Cola says that as far as babysitting goes, the sky's the limit. two dollars a go yes brilliant much comforted i blew 12.90 on the trailways bus from baltimore to new york city via subway and bus and a long long walk i reached the mcmanus funeral parlor in brooklyn at 6 p.m as soon as i arrived i was ushered into the chapel of rest the room was packed with a variety of grotesques my relations a number of them dressed in elaborate flowing white robes.

41:37Cousin Agnes is a mason and the service of last rites was to be conducted by members of the Lodge of the Eastern Star. Before the service began, I joined the line snaking past Aunt Polly's casket. It was an open casket. Dear dead Aunt Polly was sitting up in it looking better than she's done in years. Evidently, the morticians had had a field day. I expect Agnes said the sky's the limit. The old lady was barely recognizable. As Agnes remarked sweetly, mom never wore a lipstick during her life but we think it kind of suits her in death. She'd have wanted to look her best to meet her maker. Did she have her teeth in as well?

42:24I'm sure she did. The service was bizarre conducted by a Scottish parson and enlivened by weird chanting and ritualistic gyrations from two men and six women, Agnes among them, dressed in the druidical garb of the Order of the Eastern Star. When it was over, we all filed past Aunt Polly again, and then set off for 2160 Coleman Street and The Wake. It was not a pretty affair. Friday, 10th March, 1967. I retired to bed as early as I decently could. I slept remarkably well, considering. Yes, cousin Agnes tucked me up in the very bed in which dear Aunt Polly died just 72 hours ago. We've changed the linen, of course, Giles.

43:11I shared the room with a Canadian called Wally and his 10-year-old son. I hope we're not related, but I fear that we may be. I was up at 8am, good breakfast, cooked by Agnes for us all. She is a good, good woman, and at nine the limousines arrived to whisk us back to the funeral home. There we had the last sighting of Aunt Polly before the closing of the casket and the long drive an hour and more to the cemetery at Port Washington. I was in the second limo and sat in the back row with Betty and Sloan. A mistake in one way. Sloan is huge. I was squashed all the way to the graveside. Useful in another.

43:52They invited me down to stay on their boat in the Bahamas whenever I want for as long as I want. Now, my cousin, I should explain this to you, Harriet. My cousin Betty was married to Sloan Wilson. Have you heard of him? He was a very popular American author whose books included The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit, 1955, A Summer Place, which I think was made into a movie with Elizabeth Taylor. So he was huge. He was kind of the family star. He married into the family, but he was this famous author. The best bit of the drive was the limo's electric windows. Electric windows. Can you believe it? Yeah.

44:31The interment was a washout, literally. We got to the cemetery at 11am to find that the graves had all been flooded. After a powwow between Agnes, the Scottish parson, and the cemetery officials, it was agreed that we would bury Aunt Polly temporarily in a vault. When a suitable grave dried up, she would be moved into it, no extra charge. In the event, we were only in the cemetery for a matter of minutes. We then all piled back into the limos for the return to Brooklyn. Our route, I call something of a drama by needing a comfort break. The funeral cortege all parked up outside the roadside restroom.

45:10It was quite a sight. Sloan was much amused and relieved. He joined me in the gents. We riders must stick together, he said. Back at Coleman Street, the wake resumed with the Scottish parson leading the feasting and the drinking It was incredible the way that man quaffed and sluiced I chatted with Sloan about women and himself his principal preoccupations, the war in Vietnam and the family I like him At two, it was time to set off and as I departed, Agnes came up to me and pressed a$20 bill into my hand from Aunt Polly. She wanted you to have it. I know she did. She couldn't talk after the stroke, but if she could have done, she'd have said, oh, bless you.

45:57Such a sweet woman. She couldn't talk. It's too silly for words to do. Is this real? It's just real. Everything she says seems like a joke. They were so decent, these people. Like the Simpsons. It was like living in an episode of the Simpsons. she never wore lipstick when she was alive but she wanted to look I mean it's hilarious she couldn't talk she couldn't talk you wore an American accent it's so bad it's terrible do you want to do it no

46:32do you want to be on no should I say I'm laughing now because Harriet doesn't like my American accent could you just read the bit from on I don't know if mine's any better This is Agnes coming up to me and pressing a 20. This is for real, according to the diary. She pressed a$20 bill into my hand, and this is what she said. From Aunt Polly. She wanted you to have it. I know she did. She couldn't talk after the stroke, but if she could have done, she'd have said so. She was such a sweet lady, Cousin Agnes. She really was. We're not sending her up. It's just that Harriet's American accent is a lot better than mine.

47:20Wednesday the 22nd of March 1967. This has been my best day in America so far. New England is very beautiful. The snow has been falling thick and fast. There's a picture postcard loveliness all around. Sydney is the easiest companion. We were taking Sydney and I us a week-long Easter break up in Massachusetts and New York. Oh, that's Jack Ramey's wife, isn't it? That's right. Sydney is the easiest travelling companion, and today her mother, who glories in the name of Mrs. Clapp, has taken us in the family jeep on a tour that included South Deerfield, where they make pickles, Old Deerfield, where they make young gentlemen, there's a men's college there, and a 300-year-old village perfectly preserved, Amherst, where we visited the home of Emily Dickinson and Northampton, the home of Smith College, Sydney's alma mater.

48:16Highlights of the day, the Robert Frost Library at Amherst College and the Kirby Theatre there, a jewel. I wore my duffel coat, thank you Ma, and overshoes, thank you Mrs. Clapp, and stayed dry and snug all day. We're back in Conway, Massachusetts now. I've been reading Robert frost and emily dickinson by the fire later i shall join the ladies to watch cassius clay's latest bout on the boob tube this is some cassius clay okay so called by me that i think he changed his name to muhammad ali in 1964 anyway he was having some big fight in madison square garden that night tomorrow we go to boston cradle of liberty and then on with sydney's horn-playing sister Robin to Cambridge to Harvard University where, wait for it, at the Sanders Hall tomorrow night I will be attending a lecture on European defence being given by the Right Honourable Edward Heath MP.

49:17Couldn't make it up could you? Yeah. Friday the 24th of March 1967, Good Friday. Mr Heath's lecture did not set the Potomac on fire. It was interesting and I was pleased to see the great man in the flesh. He was much more relaxed and convincing than when giving his fireside chats on British TV, but it was not a barrel load of laughs. Whereas horn-playing Robin and her trumpeting husband Malcolm are very jolly. Their flat is tiny by US standards, and made tinier by the soundproof practice chamber, a booth the size of a telephone box that sits in the middle of their sitting room. Malcolm is a professional musician, and so by definition poor but music and the life of the mind are what drive them and they are special people as a consequence there is a drawback their ghastly minor bird brought back from their travels in south america shades of me too do you remember my family parrot that i used to have harriet maybe not oh this was a parrot released over london by my father in the 1950s and i always claim the reason you see parrots to this day in london yeah is because my father couldn't stand this parrot because it ate the bindings of his favorite books and he my mother loved it it was an indian parrot and he let it escape one night over london in the 50s but was it one of those green parakeets it's a green parakeet no yeah it's giles yeah oh so you're responsible for the death of rod hull and the plague of green parakeets except there was only one of these Pergitz.

50:54Yeah, but he just had to meet another one. Yeah, exactly. There you go. Good Friday, and I'm not going to church. Odd when you think of the endless hours I spent at St. Stephen's Gloucester Road and Holy Trinity Brompton. Happy hours. Pa still gets down on his knees by the bed every night to say his prayers. I sometimes say them in my head, but I'm not sure that anybody's listening. Joan of Arc is. Joan of Arc is listening. You sounded Welsh then. It's supposed to be. Say it again. Joan of Arc is listening Jaya. You can't do it at all. You want to say, c 'est moi, Jeanne d 'Arc. C 'est moi, Jeanne d 'Arc.

51:38Je coute. J 'entends. Je t 'écoute, Gilles. Je t 'écoute, Gilles. Gilles. Je t 'écoute, Gilles. we're supposed to be making this as a serious podcast okay on we go today we're off on the freedom trail they this is the family are quite ambivalent about their relationship with the old country and they are utterly convinced that they won the second world war interesting isn't it they still are i think all right sunday the second of april 1967 i'm out every night and exhausted I'm Baltimore's novelty British teenager and a little weary of being expected to produce an endless stream of witty repartee coated with modest charm.

52:26I'll be glad when the end of term comes. I need to move on. How am I to fund my travels? With difficulty. I'm hoping to do more poetry readings and I'm fundraising for B-Dales. But will it be enough? I was being paid, Harriet, to give occasional poetry readings to schools and local women's groups and could claim travelling expenses if I visited US-based people who'd been at my school, Old Bedalians, to solicit their support for the school's development fund. Greyhound buses have dropped their$99 for 99 days offer. Just getting to California and back will cost$200 plus. hey ho these are the vicissitudes of this our sublunary existence i am missing sally but staying faithful there you go we'll leave it there should we leave it there for today yes because this is a an action-packed year isn't it we're going to do it in three parts rather than two i think so what do you think there's a lot of it it's interesting to me how much the world has changed, the technology we now take for granted, me coming across these modern American things and being totally bowled over by them, and also me discovering for the first time how the world can divide into two sorts of people, these intellectual people who are Anglophiles, who, though they were living in America, loved the idea of BBC, you know, Radio 3, High Culture, and all of that, the whole Massachusetts, all all these Harvard, all of that going on.

54:02And my cousins, the real people in Brooklyn, who had the American stars and stripes on their veranda. Yeah, and still thought the Vietnam War could be fought and won. Absolutely. And I have to say, they all have validity. And my cousins, ordinary people, but decent people. They really were very decent people. And America's still divided in this way, isn't it? I suppose it really is, isn't it? Absolutely. And there you are. My cousins will all have voted for Trump. And you're the man to bring these two sides together, Giles, with your witty repartee. It amused me that you said, I'm weary of being expected to produce an endless stream of witty repartee coated with modest charm.

54:45And you've made a career out of that. Thank you. I do. I mean, I thought I was a kind of novelty person. I was because. You probably were. You probably were. Bear in mind, this is a large school. So let's say I had 30 kids in my class. And I was obviously teaching the 12-year-olds. they'd all tell their parents, oh, we've got this new English guy. And, you know, the parents would invite me. So neat. Yeah. And they would invite me to their homes. So I could be out every evening. Oh, you were getting invited round to people's parents. Oh, wow. So the teachers would invite me out. The children's parents would invite me out.

55:18And, of course, I was only 18, so 19. And there was the equivalent of a sixth form. Yeah. And there were people there who I knew who were 18 and 19 who were still at the school. Gosh. So I was knowing them. And that's why the I'm missing Sally but staying faithful is relevant. Because I really have not looked at this in years. It's really quite revelatory. I'm remembering that there were obviously girls at this school. And I was going to be away for six months. Well, you're like a bit of a star. You know, you probably had people throwing. Did you have people throwing themselves at you? Wait till the next episode.

55:57but we had oh you can whistle as well but we did have um I was getting job offers which was extraordinary yeah it is great that feeling though isn't it when you go abroad you're a star turn you know just because you've got a different accent and suddenly you seem glamorous and interesting and impressive and things that you don't necessarily see when you're back in England. The English accent. They loved that English accent. I believe they still do. Yeah. We have people who listen to Rosebud in America who haven't necessarily heard of all our guests. And they let us know that they love your voice, my voice, and our accents.

56:42In fact, somebody wrote in only a couple of days ago to say they listen to it from Italy. They live in Italy. they're British but they live in Italy and that they listen because they love to hear people speaking the Queen's English and and she said I'm so glad to hear someone young like you still speaking the Queen's English Harriet I didn't tell her how old I was but yeah that's some people listen just to hear your lovely voice Giles and and the good way that you speak I remember somebody when I was talking about the Queen's English once I said the Queen's English and somebody said no I don't think so i think she's actually german i think i said no the queen said it's called the queen's english no no she's german didn't understand it's a way in fact i think we should now call it the king's english i'm a patron of what used to be called the queen's english society which believes in traditional correct english and they've now changed their name to the king's english oh good but i think people still think of it as the queen's english don't they sorry king charles well yes maybe they do because well the last queen reigned for so long i wonder when the Queen's English began as a phrase?

57:47Do you think it was in Queen Victoria's Day? No, I think there was the King's English even before then. Oh, interesting. Oh, so it's been a phrase. Yes, I think so. We'll check that out. Yeah. The Diaries are every other week. I know some people don't like the Diaries. We got a one-star review for the Diaries. Thought they were self-indulgent. Yes, I did see that. And it reminded me of two things, because we normally get lovely five-star reviews and we don't mind actually we can learn from everything we can that's why we only do the diaries every other week yeah so if the diaries aren't for you don't worry uh there'll be something for you next week yes exactly you don't have to we're not going to fine you if you don't listen to the diary episodes or write you a stern message we don't force you to listen to anything we're not going to force it's free and it's here and if you enjoy it uh it's there for you and if you don't we've got other people coming up we won't be offended if we've got some fabulous friday rosebuds coming up with some world famous people yeah that aren't self-indulgent no they actually aren't self-indulgent probably because i'm not saying anything do you think we say too much you're quite self-indulgent aren't you charles do you think i am i don't know are the diaries self-indulgent do you think no i mean i think they're fascinating lots of people and me What is interesting to me is that my time at school is very vivid to me, as you know, because I talk about it a lot.

59:12This gap here, I've not thought about at all in years. So as I read this, it's all coming to me as a bit of a surprise. Oh, gosh, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next. This is John O 'Varko. Hello, John. Are you there? Au revoir, ma petite. Au revoir. Au revoir, Jeanne. Jeanne, je t 'adore.

59:41Cue the music. Oh, before I go, I did want to quickly tee up this Friday's guest. In case you want to do any homework before you listen to the episode. We've had people of all ages on Rosebud. We've had a centenarian. We've had people in their 90s, 80s, 70s, 60s, 50s, 40s, 30s. But I don't think we've had a 22-year-old before. We're having one on Friday. It's Jojo Siwa, dancer, singer, actress, influencer, recently on Celebrity Big Brother. She is remarkable, fascinating. If you're under 25, you'll know who I mean. She's only doing one podcast while she's in the country at the moment, but she is remarkable.

1:00:29Time magazine had her among the 100 most significant women in the world quite recently and she's got followers by the tens of millions. She also has quite a story to tell about being a child star, about being a lesbian, about finding love with a very interesting young man. She's pretty loved up at the moment as you'll discover but you'll also discover she has quite a tale to tell. So join us for the guest you won't have heard of unless you're under 25, but you'll want to meet, whatever your age, on Rosebud this Friday, Jojo Siwa. See you there.

1:01:54That was more Rosebud. with music by Phil Leppard, production by Harriet Jane, and in the chair, me, Charles Brandreth. Thank you for listening.