More Rosebud - Gyles's Diaries episode 35

0:00I'm Giles Brandreth and this is more Rosebud. Cue the music.

0:25Hello and a very warm welcome to More Rosebud. My name is Giles Brandreth. Thank you so much for being with us. If I sound a bit puffed out today, it's because I am and for a reason, which I shall share with my friend, my colleague, my producer, in many ways my muse, Harriet Jane. How are you, Harriet? I've never been a muse before. Well, you amuse me. But I think a muse is somebody who inspires. Yes, yes, it is. You have muse qualities. Muse qualities, yes. I have puffed out qualities for a reason. I have come here to the Grosvenor House Rosebud Studio, Park Lane in London, from Betterton Street in Covent Garden.

1:09I was appearing, as I often do, on This Morning, which is a television programme in the UK that goes out every morning between 10 and 12.30, weekdays. and I've been appearing on the show for a number of years now. And we have delightful hosts, one of whom is Ben Shepard, who I think you know. Do you have professional reasons for knowing him? My partner Leon knows him quite well because they made a show together. Oh, what is the show? It's on soon on ITV, which is the channel that this morning's on. I think it starts this week, maybe. And it's called The Summit. The Summit. Is it a game show? No, it's a reality show up a mountain.

1:48They climb up a mountain. climb a mountain. In fact, you should do it, Charles, when you're all buff, because Ben Shepard's going to make you buff, isn't he? This is the point of the story. I discovered the other day that I was 13 stone, nine pounds, which is too heavy. My ideal weight is 12 and a half stone. But I thought I must get down to the right weight, at least lose a stone by the time of my birthday, which is on the 8th of March. So I've been doing my little low carb diet. And so far, so good. I've been losing two to two and a half pounds a week. So I should hit the target. But my friend Ben shepherd he says to me giles i wanted to see you on the cover of men's health i've been on the cover of men's health yeah i know you wax i think you've got what it takes do you have to wax well he said you gotta be one thing or the other uh fully hairy or yeah yeah we don't want a few wisps that makes a lot of sense what is your view i think what you just said is perfectly right yeah You want one or the other.

2:42In the 1980s, no, 70s, I met a film producer, Wilbur Stark, who was the father of Coo Stark, who made movies, including gently pornographic movies. And he introduced me to the concept of the Merkin, which is the pubic wig. It was in the diary, I think. It was in the diary. But I subsequently went to a shop that specialised in these things because in the 1980s, men had to have a really hairy chest. Nowadays, they want a smooth chest, but then really, you know, lots of hair and a sort of gold medallion hanging in it. And so for men who weren't kitted out like that, which I wasn't, I thought I need a hairy chest.

3:18So I went to the same place where they sold Merkins and they were slightly surprised to see me. I said, no, do you do chest wigs? You didn't. I did. This is ridiculous. And they gave me a chest wig to match my own hair. And wait for it, wait for it, Harriet. They gave me a chest wig and matching underarm toupees. My goodness. So you could strip off on the beach, lie back with your hands behind your head, and you had the full set. But how was it attached? I think it's called toupee tape. Or there was glue. Oh, that would be painful when you took it off. But the waxing is painful. God, what do you girls go through?

3:59I know. I've now gone for waxing rather than hairy. Ben Sheppard is my tutor. yeah he is my mentor and we are going for the toned men's health look wow giles i mean that's shocking i can't believe it should be not shocking exciting exciting very exciting he's so good at encouraging me oh is he he's so good set me on my way anyway the point is yeah he made i normally would have come by car yeah or underground and then just walk the last bit he said walk walk and he made me cancel the car. Wow. And I walked. And as you saw, when I came in through the studio door a moment ago, I was a bit puffed, wasn't I?

4:37Yeah. But you said, that's good. It's very good. Is he quite assertive, Ben Shepard, then? He's quite firm with me. My diet is called the move more, eat less diet. Simple as that. So I'm eating a bit less. But he keeps saying, are you moving more, Giles? He said, dancing around the studio here is not moving more just because you're jumping up and down. But he also says, oh, I think it's working. You're looking good. You're looking good, Giles. Oh, that's brilliant. This is what a man needs, Harriet. Oh, dear. Giles, I think you do demand a lot of that. And as you know, I don't give it out very easily.

5:08I know. I think that's what you like about me. Can I say, that's what you think. It has to be, I have to tell you, listeners, compliments, kindness, not kindness, which is very kind, but compliments from Harriet Jane have to be squeezed out. Like a flannel that you've already squeezed it out And you're going to be one, two or three drips more. You squeeze, you squeeze it out, squeeze it out. But I have learnt, the more needy you are, the more you ask, the less you get. Yeah, that's true. So I'm now giving very, very little to see what comes my way. Now, enough of this nonsense. We've got diaries to read.

5:48Is there correspondence? Oh, there is correspondence. Fan mail has come. Somebody has written from Harrow. We get a lot of international fan mail. This is from Harrow in England. Oh, John. Yeah, I'm going to open the audio. So this was in the post to Grosvenor House. In the post to Grosvenor House. This is recorded at Grosvenor House today, isn't it? It is. This is where our studio is, Park Lane. When we're going... People can come here, you know, and sometimes they can find us in the park room having tea. Wanting to organise some more rosebud teas later in the year. Yeah, we should do that. Which is marvellous.

6:18And, oops, I'm just seeing this wrong. Dear Giles, Oh, I enjoy rosebud thoroughly. It's good company for washing up, exercises, etc. Good. I wonder if you have thought about having any of the cast of The Archers as guests. Oh, that's an interesting idea. What's particularly interesting to me, it's from Susan Wolfe. I'll study this, Susan, and come back to you. What is interesting is that at the weekend, Harriet, Simon Williams, wonderful actor, first became famous in Upstairs, Downstairs all those years ago. We had him with a special episode last Valentine's Day. We did. Do you remember? Yeah.

6:54With his lovely wife, Lucy Fleming. whose father was the brother of Ian Fleming and whose mother was Celia Johnson. And they did a lovely episode together. He contacted me to say he had been listening. On his way to Birmingham to record The Archers, he'd been listening to Derek Jacoby on Rosebud. And he had never enjoyed an episode more. So he's then said, I'm going to see it now. Having heard it, I'm going to see it. And he then was going to go home and watch it on YouTube. We are now on YouTube. Yes, we are. How do people find that who don't know about? YouTube? Well, you can get it on your phone, YouTube, as an app if you want to.

7:32Go in the app store. But you can watch it on your telly. I think you watch yours on your telly, don't you? Yes, we have it on our telly. And what do you do? You just search Rosebud? Well, we have a telly and you speak to them. So I can say Rosebud Podcast on YouTube and it programs it. Otherwise, you can go down to the thing where it's got BBC iPlayer, ITV Plus. It'll have YouTube as one of the things you're offered apple you go to youtube on that then you go to search yeah you either speak it or you put in rosebud podcast yeah and up it pops you then can subscribe i think and you get them sent to you yeah you watch the program and then you write a little review maybe if you'd liked it we've had loads of reviews on there giles hundreds all positive someone said um please could you tell your producer slash assistant to stop adjusting the microphone and pouring water in the middle of the interviews because i forgot because i'm you know we're being filmed now people can see my arm i think in the film the ruby interview you see my arm popping in it's not very professional is it but i think that adds a certain touch the truth is i'm not going to stop doing that please well please do um no because i also sometimes hold my notes up and they get in the way of the camera and things.

8:47Yeah, but it's real. But the point, it is real. And some people don't believe this. It is genuinely Harriet Jane and Giles Brandreth meeting up once or twice a week, inviting somebody of interest to come and chat to them. That's what it is. We are alone in this room. We are. And in a way, it's the informal nature of it that makes it special for me. Yeah, well, it helps people relax. Where do people, what do people do if they don't like the ads and they want to get the ad-free version of Rosebud. Oh, they join the Rosebud family. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's going very well, isn't it? And you go to patreon.com, P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com forward slash Rosebud.

9:25Yeah. All right. Before we start, we've got a letter. Oh, yes. Who is this from? I couldn't pronounce the name and it's addressed to both of us, but your name comes first. When your name comes first, the rule is you have to read out the letter. Oh, do I? I know how to pronounce his name because it's the same name as my daughter's violin teacher, Joao. It's not Wow. No, it's Joao. I'd be rather good to be. Well, Belle pronounces her violin teacher Joao. Do you know, I bet it's Wow. I bet you're called Wow. Wow. So that when you come into the room, people go, Wow. Wow, what a great name. Anyway, it's from someone.

10:00He's got the Joao factor. Who's called Joao Vargas. And he says, Dear Harriet and Giles, I'm an avid listener of the podcast. and was a fan of Giles' diaries even before, since I read Something Sensational to Read on the Train and Breaking the Code. I thought you'd like to know that listening to Rosebud had inspired me not just to once more take up my on-again, off-again diary habit, but also to try to organise my old diaries. I have diaries stretching back about 25 years, starting in my university days, but some are in notebooks, some are audio recordings, and some are files on the computer. all over the place.

10:39Now, thanks to the magic of AI, I'm managing to get all my old audio and handwritten diaries automatically transcribed, put in order and consolidated into a single beautiful diary document that spans more than half of my life. I hope this will be something of interest to my children when they're grown up and who knows, maybe grandchildren someday. Thanks for the inspiration and I look forward to listening for many years to come. Best regards, Joao Vargas. Wow, Joao. That is really interesting. Yeah. Because I also keep mine a bit all over the place. And I was thinking of trying to get them organised.

11:21And this is clearly the way forward. Because my grandson Rory's girlfriend, Olivia, is very kind to get her work through those boxes you've seen in the basement and try and put some of that material in order. And I've got stuff on the computer and in notebooks elsewhere that needs to be integrated. I think you need humans, don't you? I'm a little bit nervous of letting the 18 or 19-year-old girlfriend of my grandson loose on my teenage diaries on those early boxes. Just don't let her in the X-rated box. Do you think not? I don't think you can show her that, Charles. I don't know. I haven't looked at it.

11:54I have not looked at it in years. May I make you a promise? Yeah. You will be the first person to see it, if anybody sees it. Yeah. I mean, I am slightly terrified about that, don't you? But I've explained to you, a lot of it's very poetic. Yes, I know. but you know we've all read rochester i mean you know we've read some rude poems in our days i mean i don't know if i want to read those right should we get on with the diaries okay we're going back to 1973 which is 53 years ago half a century ago before you were born i was living a life so what happened in the last episode i think we should recap because we've had a couple of weeks since the last diaries what did happen in the last episode i think in Lou into a Snoopy costume.

12:38Do you remember? I was all over the place at this period doing a whole variety of things. I'd been taken on by Woman magazine, then the best-selling magazine in the world, but I was quite young and I wasn't very good at it and they dropped me. I remember that. Which is my first sort of setback. I was doing a bit of radio, a bit of television. I was inventing games. Do you remember? I'd taken my Alice in Wonderland game to the company Spears, who were the makers of Scrabble, appearing as Snoopy the dog, being hired out to do that, following my interests in theatre, politics, prison reform, a whole variety of things, and yet focused.

13:14It was some years before I discovered the three most important words in the English language, which are? Don't dabble, focus. Correct. And that's what we're going to do now. I was going to say it was some years before you discovered the perfect outlet for Giles Brandreth, which is the podcast. Rosebud. I feel that. I think that's right. I do. It was invented for you, Giles. I like to think that. Yeah. Well, let's go back now to Friday, the 4th of May, 1973. Last night, we went to Cage, a dark and ludicrous play about imprisonment at the open space. I was reviewing it immediately afterwards for Kaleidoscope at 10.30pm on Radio 4.

13:57It was a desultory experience, made memorable by Milton Shulman, who was there to review it for the Evening Standard. The play involved a ghastly moment of audience participation. One of the actors approached Shulman and put a long and penetrating question to him. Shulman looked up, shrugged his shoulders and replied, No speaker de English. I'm writing this on the train coming back from Oxford, I've had contrasting meetings with two strong-willed, beaky-nosed ladies of riper years. First, at the Randolph with Joy Macefield. She's very irritating, limited in her vision and set in her ways, but also fundamentally a good soul.

14:43She knows I'm ambitious for Archway Productions. Oh, this was the company that I had set up with others to put on Sonnet Lumiere shows, sound and light shows. Anyway, she knows I'm ambitious for Archway Productions and accepts that she's holding us back because for her, Sonne Lumière is a hobby. She will bow out after Greenwich if that is what we want. That is what I want. But since the whole thing is her baby, it's difficult. I want to get rid of her, but I lack the courage to do the deed. My next meeting was with Elizabeth Sweeting, Administrator, Oxford Playhouse. The Playhouse will be 50 in October.

15:23would I like to produce an all-star golden gala to mark the occasion? I said yes. And still more exciting, the Arts Council has decided that it has come to an end of the road with Frank Hauser and Meadow players. He'd been running this theatre in Oxford for many years and had amazing people in his company, Judi Dench, Leweger, Alan Bedell, you know, big stars had been with him. Anyway, The Arts Council had decided they'd had enough of him. It's all very hush-hush. They don't know it yet. Future plans are still in the melting pot, etc., etc. But in the event that there's a gap at the Playhouse, might I be interested in the possibility of presenting a season of plays myself?

16:06My mind is now racing. I'd have to find the money, too. There's the rub. But it could be wonderful. Oh, very good job. So suddenly, I've been doing all these variety of things, you know, writing, broadcasting, interest in prison. But I had this deep, fundamental love of theatre. And here was Elizabeth Sweeting, who basically was the administrator of the Oxford Playhouse, saying, these distinguished people are going. There may be a window. It may be for you. And here I am in my early 20s with no experience of putting on plays. Well, you put on some plays. Well, I put on plays, and I put on the Sonia Numea.

16:45I put on plays at school, at university. Yeah, exactly. But this isn't amateur night. No, of course. But you had put on Cinderella. That was at the Oxford Playhouse, wasn't it? It was, but it was the Oxford University Dramatic Society. Yeah. But I'd taken it on tour. Yeah. So, anyway, the point is I felt up to it. Wednesday, the 9th of May, 1973. Yesterday, we recorded Edward Woodward's contribution to our Sonne Lumière. Do you remember the actor called Edward Woodward? I do, the equaliser. Very good. Very good actor. judy dench once came into piggledy circus he was appearing in a play i think rattle of a simple man with sheila hancock and he was very excited because his name was in lights edward woodward but on the night it's a great name it's a great name on the night all in lights but on the night that judy dench was in piggledy circus looking up at the theater where his name was all in lights a lot of the bulbs had gone out and what it said was edward woo-wah in rattle of a simple man Isn't that a funny idea?

17:40Edward Wuwa. Anyway, that's by the by. Yesterday we recorded Edward Woodrow's contribution to our Sonny Lumiere. He is playing General Wolfe. Today, Rachel Kempson, she was the wife of Sir Michael Redgrave, joined our line-up of leading ladies, now including Peggy Ashcroft, Claire Bloom, and Rita Tushingham. Before the recording, Michelle and I took her to lunch at Lescargot Bienvenue in Greek Street. We ate downstairs on the right, fishie soise and turbot with Hollandaise sauce. Excellent. She's lovely. Clearly, Lynn is the apple of her eye. Lynn is sane, conventional, conservative. While Michael is devoted to Vanessa and Corinne.

18:23Rachel worries that their devotion to their politics gets in their way of their duty to their art. Gosh. Because you remember, Vanessa Regrave, well, you won't remember because you weren't born, but Vanessa Redgrave and her brother Corin were Workers Revolutionary Party. Oh no, I remember because there was that funny story that Judi Dench told about going to a demo with Vanessa Redgrave and getting arrested and saying to the policeman, but I think it was Vanessa Redgrave who said, but I'm on stage and I've got a matinee at 2.30. Exactly, can't possibly go to prison. And they let her go. Tonight we saw Lynn on screen.

18:58She has a cameo in Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex. the very funny Woody Allen film. He is very funny. Still my favourite line, I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. It's quite funny, isn't it? Monday the 14th of May, 1973. Recorded a BBC World Service pilot for Frances Crowdy at lunchtime and met Marganita Lasky. Oh, she was a marvellous person. She was a novelist, an essayist, a broadcaster. I think she was also an atheist and she was an active supporter of the campaign for nuclear disarmament. But I really liked her because I'd read one of her books.

19:36Oh, and I write about it here. I told her that Little Boy Lost had been one of my favourite books when I was a child and the compliment was clearly of no interest to her. I loved her coolness, her clarity of thought, the economy and precision with which she expressed herself. While I waffle, she speaks concisely and to the point. She knows what she wants to say. What I liked about my time with her was that, with her, I felt I raised my game. Normally, when I admire someone to some extent, I desire them too. I didn't desire Marguerite Lasky, but I did admire her. Or perhaps desire was involved, and I desired her mind.

20:21This afternoon, Michelle was on Good Afternoon, Thames Television. This evening, we're going to the Royal Ballet at the London Coliseum. We're having a ballet splurge. Romeo and Juliet tonight, Anastasia on Friday, a triple bill next Monday. I share my birthday with Lynne Seymour and Lynne Redgrave. Different years, of course.

20:50Wednesday, the 23rd of May, 1973. Auntie Hope has died. I did not know her well. She was a lady exactly like the ladies I meet at the ladies' luncheon clubs I address. She did not approve of Michelle and me living in sin. She wore a blue or purple rinse in her hair, and her proudest moment was asking a question on Gardner's Question Time. She was a fine gardener with a handsome pergola, and I know Pa loved her very much. He will be very sad. He's now lost all his immediate family. He says he has eight years to go. He will die at 71. He knows it because when he was a boy he went to a fortune teller in Margate and she told him so.

21:36I think he believes it. He claims that all her other prophecies came true. Ma and Pa did their best for Aunty Hope. She had cancer though nobody was allowed to tell her. Last year, Pa and Ma went on a pilgrimage to Lourdes and, in the hope of a miracle cure, brought back some holy water for Aunty Hope from the shrine of St. Bernadette. When they got back, they didn't know how to administer the holy water without giving the game away. Then Pa had a bright idea. One day, when visiting Aunty Hope in Mill Hill, he used the water when he made her a cup of coffee. Nevertheless, she died. A few days ago, he raised the matter with the vicar.

22:14There doesn't seem to have been a miracle, said Parr sadly. Of course not, replied the vicar. You boiled the holy water. You boiled the goodness out of it. Oh, that's good to know, actually. If you bring holy water back, don't muck about with it. I've actually got some holy water in my bathroom. Oh, where from? I got it in Greece a couple of years ago from a monastery. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's in a lovely bottle, so I haven't used it. Sometimes I sort of put it on myself, but only a little dab. Oh, but that's it. That's all you need, a little dab. Yeah, I'm not making a drink out of it. It's probably a bit, it might have gone off by now.

22:50Have we been to Israel in the diaries already? Yes. I think we have. Do you remember I brought back a sachet of sand? Oh, yeah. From the earth, the earth Christ trod, inspected for authenticity by Catholic personnel. Oh, brilliant. I found that little sachet of earth the other day. I've still got it. I've kept it all these years. Gosh. So keep your holy water. Yeah, I'm going to keep that. By the way, I just want to say, I think I'd have really got on with Auntie Hope. I like the sound of her. I like the fact she liked gardening, because I like gardening. And I realise now what a good and decent woman she was.

23:26I'm in my 20s here. Now I'm older. Actually, she was a good, decent woman who made a good marriage, was a good mother, you know, worked hard, did the traditional things, great worker for charity. Oh, wow. But you hadn't spent a lot of time with her? No. And we went up to Millie. I didn't really particularly get on with her children. She had two sons, one of whom was older than me, and the other was younger, who I get on with much better now. They didn't seem to be my sort of people. They were into, I don't know, trainspotting, that kind of thing. But the younger one, I think, wasn't just into trainspotting.

24:01He had almost memorised the whole of the British Railway's timetable. Oh, gosh, it's amazing. So you could say to him, Swansea to Aberdeen and he could tell you off the top of his head what trains were leaving that day and when. Oh, very useful. Very useful. You could ring him instead of National, do you remember National Rail Enquiries? You always had to ring that. And actually there was an ABC Rail Guide you used to be able to buy and I bought it twice a year. Big thick book that gave you all the train times. 0-3-4-5-48-49-50. Was that the number? Yes, I think so. Where were you going? Where were you checking all these trains?

24:33It's brilliant. Well, I lived in Devon so I used to have to ring it quite a lot. Yeah. Okay. Thursday the 24th of May 1973 on the back page of the Times today in the personal columns the announcement of the death of Auntie Hope on the front page the announcement of the resignation of Lord Lampton and the headline Call Girl Dossier Names Two Other Ministers we don't yet know who they are but the story has all the makings of a juicy saga that's set to run and run Lampton, Lord Lampton undersecretary of state for defense looking louche behind dark glasses admits using cannabis and call girls but denies a heroin addiction and any threat to national security this this is funny this week isn't it well we're here we are reading these at the height of the epstein scandal i know and it seems that men in power have been behaving in unsatisfactory ways for generations well what What a surprise.

25:33Yeah. Anyway, it was a big, big story at the time. I love the fact he denies heroin addiction. Yeah, well. It seems the husband of one of his playmates took secret photographs of the minister in flagrante and tried to flog them to Fleet Street for£30 ,000. I have no excuses, says Lambton. I behaved with credulous stupidity. His statement is open, direct and rather impressive. The real scandal of the day seems to have been caused by my friend Pellegrin Wurstthorn, silver-haired smoothie and editor of the Sunday Telegraph, who when asked on Nationwide last night how he thought the nation would react to top people going with call girls, replied, I don't think they give a f***.

26:15Giles, people really don't like it when we swear. Now, I've got to read this out because the BBC has been apologising for the incident ever since. Oh, okay. That's the point. We don't. But I'm just quoting literally. No, no, no. Pellegrin Wurstthorn. But I agree, because I think I've said this to you before. I hate it when I'm on a bus and there are people using foul language. I know. Regardless of other people on the bus, you know, who may not like it. Meanwhile, also on the front page, Nixon admissions failed to convince critics the whole story is out. The Watergate saga is also set to run and run.

26:49And, Mr. Heath, excesses of capitalism condemned. the prime minister believes that greed is bad and we should turn our back on the unacceptable and unpleasant face of capitalism what is the world coming to rea lampton lovely pocket cartoon by mark the front door of toynbee hall which is where john profumo was doing his good works the front door of toynbee hall with a notice saying vacancy filled news just in the earl of Jellicoe, Lord Privy Seal and leader of the Lords, has also resigned. It transpired this man, George Jellicoe, was caught up in the affair incidentally. Norma Levy, the prostitute associate of Lord Lambton, had connections with Jellicoe House in St Pancras, and the coincidence of the name prompted the press to make inquiries about Earl Jellicoe.

27:39And he had also, but separately, had associations with call girls, so he volunteered his resignation. Just watch your hobbies. Learning the railway timetable is a much safer thing to do. Yes, that's true. And we're off to the cherry orchard at the National. Ah, tonight's the night for watching the news. Chekhov will have nothing on this. Friday, the 1st of June, 1973. Sonne Lumiere recording with Sir John Clements, who is playing John Flamsteed, and Sir John Gielgud, who is playing our narrator, Time. Both very friendly. When the photographer said, oh, look this way, Sir John, John C. said, which Sir John do you mean?

28:19while John G fluted, he means me, I fear. I take a poor photograph. It was intriguing to watch the way in which Clemence's body language showed unspoken deference to Gielgud and the way in which Gielgud accepted it. We are blessed to have actors of this caliber reading our script. They are making joyless and rather predictable prose sound wonderfully rich. As Simon Cadell says, it's the old story, Fat Actors Saving a Thin Script Friday the 8th of June 1973 At 11.45 this morning at St. Marylebone Register Office Marylebone Road, London, NW1 Mr. G.D. Brandreth and Miss M. K.K. Brown were married Our two witnesses were Simon Goodell, actor and Michelle's friend Veronica Hodges, secretary It was, if I may say so a perfect wedding.

29:18We told no one, except Simon and Veronica, of course, and Philip Ingram, who came to take the photographs. I didn't even make a note of it in my appointments diary. I simply circled the date. On the 8th of May, I gave the required notice and made a down payment of one pound. We paid the balance of two pounds today. On Monday, we went to Hampstead to get a ring and were somewhat thrown on entering the jeweller's shop to find we were being served by Donald Sinden's son Mark. I don't think he'll tell anyone. And if he does, and the secret's out, so be it. We were going to telephone our parents from Rome tonight, but in the end, we didn't.

30:00We were too tired. We will let them know in due course, but the point is, we didn't get married for them. We got married for us. And we got married today because it's exactly five years since we met. And we got married at St. Marylebone because we live across the road, less than a minute away, and because this is where and how Ma and Pa got married on the 15th of March 1937. They forgot to bring witnesses, and so the legend has it, went out into the street to find some. I wore my light grey suit with the dark grey stripe. Michelle wore a black outfit with little pink flowers on it. Veronica wore a hat.

30:40Well, it was a wedding. Someone had to. We were both nervous. I dropped the ring. The sun shone. We went on to the Empress for lunch. We sat right in the centre of the dining room. It was exactly right. Champagne cocktails, salmon roulade, beef Wellington, John LeMessurier at the adjoining table. Simon took us on to Heathrow. We caught the 1735 flight to Rome. I'm writing this in the Hotel Napoleon, Piazza Vittoria Emanuele. It is my first diary entry as a married man. Do I feel subtly different? I think the answer is yes. Hmm. Well, that's amazing, Giles. I can't believe. And it's interesting, isn't it, that I got the date wrong because as we discovered earlier in the diary, I think we met on the 6th or the 5th of June, not the 8th.

31:32Maybe you couldn't book it that day or something. I don't know. It's just funny you haven't mentioned it at all in the diary. Yeah. We were keeping it totally to ourselves. But I've never understood why. Well, I think we didn't want the fuss of a wedding. I'm not sure how, at this stage, how happy Michelle's parents were together. Yes, that does make a difference. So I think that was an issue. And I knew that my parents had financial worries. Yeah. So the cost of it would all be a bit of an issue. Yeah. We were doing it for ourselves, but I know there were older people who we liked and admired, like Cyril Fletcher, who was a bit of a mentor to me, who really wanted us to be married.

32:14He felt it was a good thing. He felt that actually it is a proper commitment. It's a solid commitment, but he really felt it's one you make it to each other. Of course, there's a reason for doing it in public because then friends and family will support you, but it is a kind of private contract. And what you will discover in the diaries is how long it took us to reveal it to anybody. Because once we'd done it, when a day or two passes, well, it feels a bit silly to tell someone. Did you feel sort of guilty about that? I feel guilty about it to this day. I don't really feel guilty to this day because by the time our parents did discover it, they were happy.

32:53But it would have been, I think, probably nice for them to be there. I don't know. I'm quite relaxed about it, I think. When your daughters get married, if they did something like this, what would you think? I think I'd understand because I'm a family that has had unconventional weddings. So yeah, I'm not someone that thinks, oh, you've got to book out St Paul's Cathedral and spend 20 ,000 pounds or whatever. It's a crazy amount of money, isn't it? Anyway, congratulations on your wedding. Thank you very much. It was a perfect wedding. Have you seen the photographs? I haven't. They're beautiful.

33:29Michelle looked so lovely. and did you have any readings or anything like that oh oh it was very very it was whatever just the service that they have in the registry office we just went in it was not a service it was no service we had the minimum yeah um you know sign a witness i remember that you just make the statement you declare the thing it's over in five minutes eight minutes he's it and then there's lunch okay sunday the 10th of june 1973 this morning we walked to the vatican we saw the pope He was very small and up on his balcony, but he was there and we saw him. We feel our marriage has been blessed.

34:06How wonderful. Tuesday the 10th of July. I'm writing this over coffee and a sandwich in the first floor lounge at the Charing Cross Hotel. I've just come from a meeting with Geoffrey Archer MP. I need to raise money for my Oxford Theatre Festival. I need£40 ,000. pounds. I've been going through who's who from A to Z looking for people who might like to invest. I thought Geoffrey could be one of them. We have a connection. Bettsanger, my prep school. When Geoffrey was 22 and teaching PE at Dover College, he came over to Bettsanger to help coach athletics. Mr. Burton, the headmaster of Bettsanger, says that Geoffrey is the best athletics coach he has ever known.

34:47Anyway, I wrote, Geoffrey replied, and the money may be mine. I saw him in his swish office at the top of Whitehall. The building is called Arrow House, appropriately enough. He was full of beans and buns, and a fair bit of bluster and bombast too. He has a picture of himself and the Beatles on the wall. Secretaries were stuffing envelopes, hundreds of them. I keep in touch with the constituency, Giles. It's essential. Clearly, he expects to be Prime Minister one day. When you're ready to become an MP, Giles, let me know. I'll get you sorted. he saw me into the street and gave me all his telephone numbers and told me i could call him anytime day or night night or day anytime i never sleep he liked my ideas he'd read my prospectus and he says he will find the money for the festival if i can get celia johnson to appear she is my favorite actress she's our finest actress she should be a dame i must speak to ted about that get celia for me and you've got your money giles the ted he's referring to is ted the prime minister yeah um 53 years ago well there we are you can hear what he sounds like now on rosebud because he's one of our guests he hasn't changed and still telling me what to do yes it's really funny friday the 13th of july 1973 letter from jeffrey in response to mine i think at this stage, it would be unwise to have Arrow Enterprises present, as I would have no hesitation in falling out of it if I thought the plays or the casts were not of the right calibre.

36:22And at that point of time, it would be embarrassing for us both. Cunning blighter, he says, you've already put the price up to£45 ,000, so I'm bringing it back down to£40 ,000. And he's enclosed a, to whom it may concern, a letter indicating his general backing. I'm grateful. I notice his telegraphic address is Bullseye, London, SW1. Clever, isn't it? And later, when he got a telephone, his next address, the telephone number included, the last three digits were 007. It is one o 'clock, and I'm about to watch My Beautiful Wife on ITV. She's a guest on Cuckoo in the nest program recorded in cardiff on the night before our wedding jeffrey's wife mary was also at saint anne's see these days michelle was quite a television person yeah she was one of the co-hosts of the new daytime programs she was on game shows like cuckoo in the nest tuesday 17th july 1973 arsonia lumiere opened in greenwich last night it runs until the 22nd of september It's fine.

37:29The essential problem is joy. She's very literal. She won't let us light anything unless it was actually there, built and standing. At that point in the story, which, since her story is always written chronologically and starred in the dark ages, means that we spend the first 30 minutes of the show gaze at a dimly lit tree stump. Charles, this sounds awful. I can't believe you're pursuing this. Well, it didn't go very far. but the idea I got this all star cast assembled. I know, I mean the voiceover sounds brilliant. The voiceover was brilliant. The idea of Sonny Lumiere, well obviously she wanted to like what was there and since it was chronological, I mean we sat there gazing at a dimly lit tree stump and a small bush.

38:13That said, our star voices sounded good and the roof stayed on. No corrugated iron this year, tarpaulin. The wind threatened to yank it from its moorings but didn't. Assorted luminaries and cast members came. The Duke of Bedford, Sheridan Morley, Cyril Fletcher, the beautiful Stacey Tendetta. Is she the most beautiful girl in the world today? Could be. She's represented by John Caddle, who A. has supplied all our non-star cast, and B. when I had supper, Shea Caddle the other night, suggested that Daphne L 'Oriola by James Bridie might be a good play for Celia Johnson. I have her address. Thank you, who's who?

38:55And she'll write to her tomorrow. Not today. Today, I'm going to Cardiff to record Cuckoo in the Nest. News from the world. President Nixon installed listening devices in the White House. If he was involved in the Watergate cover up, it seems we shall find out. is cuckoo in the nest a sort of mr and mrs type thing no well it was a show where there were three people you had to work out which was the cuckoo in the nest so okay three people might have said i'm a dustman and one of them wasn't i wasn't on the panel guessing who was the cuckoo in the nest oh i see it's a bit like that would i lie to you yeah exactly so oh it's fun that game yeah Saturday the 25th of August 1973.

39:41This time next week, we shall be setting off for three weeks on the island of Elba. We have rented a one-room house on the beach to read, relax, get away from it all. Despite useful telegraphic exchanges with His Excellency the Governor, our expedition to St Helena is not going to materialise in the near future. Boats only reach St Helena every six weeks. To go to Elba takes a matter of hours. we fly to Pisa and take the ferry. So clearly I had some Napoleon complex here. Yes I know isn't Elba where he was exiled? It is and I thought we'd also go to St Helena and I made inquiries I sent telegrams as you can see to the governor of the island of St Helena saying we'd like to come and he telegrammed back saying we'd love to see you.

40:29I think you had to go to South Africa and then take a boat from Cape Town to get to St Helena and then you had to stay there for six weeks. Today, I'm in Southampton with Huey Green, the Napoleon of entertainment, recording Opportunity Knocks to be broadcast this Monday night on ITV. Mr. Green is an odd mix, managing to be both twinkly and terrifying at the same time. I'm here to appear on the talent show, Britain's most popular TV programme, according to Mr. Green, as sponsor of one of this week's contestants. Jill Fletcher, daughter of Cyril. Jilly is giving us her comedy magic. She can't win.

41:10She won't win. She knows that. But it's a big audience and a chance for her to be seen, and who knows, discovered. All I have to do is sit with Huey, watching Jilly, and say how wonderful I think she is. I'm doing it because Cyril asked me. Because of Cyril, Huey is being very friendly towards us, but towards everyone else his behaviour is quite alarming. When the cameras are on, he's all smiles, forced smiles, like Laurence Olivier as Archie Rice. The moment they're off, he looks like thunder. He doesn't raise his voice, he doesn't need to, he's in complete command. I get the impression that everyone here admires his skill, he does what he does flawlessly, but nobody really likes him and most people keep as far from him as possible because they are petrified.

42:00At all times, he appears physically isolated. He approaches people. Nobody approaches him. Gosh.

42:17Tuesday the 2nd of October 1973 Lunch at the Gay Hussar with Anthony Blonde Publisher, ex-new college man Conscientious objector Self-aware charmer I liked him Knows everyone in literary London Great admirer of Irene Josephi, my agent He's offered me£5 a week for a year to write a novel for him he says that he has started off a lot of young authors in this way will i be one of them oh anthony blonde was a london publisher from the early 1950s his authors included simon raven the point is i didn't take up his offer and michelle i think to this day would regard that as one of the several missed opportunities in my life i wrote in the notes on the diary In 1973, Giles Brandreth was busy running the National Scrabble Championships, founding the British Pantomime Association, dressing up as Snoopy, inventing games and puzzles, when he could have been writing his first novel.

43:20I didn't write my first novel for another 20 years. And I now think I was right. Because what was I going to know about the world when I was in my early 20s? Not a lot. Saturday the 6th of October, 1973. Have you ever written a novel? no Harriet no you thought about it only as much as you think about that when you were young you know I thought I would be a writer but I don't know what I'd write it about or whether I'd have the staying power to actually write it the staying power I mean it's a subject for another day but we might talk about how do you actually write a book how do you get on with it apply the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair exactly write a thousand words a day Saturday the 6th of October 1973 the autumn sun shone this morning as I walked through the back streets of Kensington and Chelsea.

44:08I felt pleasantly nostalgic. These were the Victorian streets I used to walk around, hour after hour, with Ben in his bush chair, when he was one or two and I was eleven or twelve. What I remember most vividly about those walks is that on them I thought intensely, passionately, about whoever I was in love with at the time. But now, incredibly, I can't remember who on earth it might have been. I walked from South Kentube through Onslow Square, where Mr Cash, the art master from Beedales, drew my picture, past the dentist, along Sydney Street, across the King's Road and into Oakley Street, where we once lived.

44:47I don't remember much about it, except that the hallway was always dark, and there was a large oil painting on the landing. It was a sombre portrait of a man, and I was always scared when I ran past it. today I was visiting 15 Oakley Street to have lunch with Richard Goulden he is old small bent gnome-like and completely delightful he was in the original Oxford Playhouse Company in 1923 and with John Moffat who's an ugly sister at the playhouse with Tony Hancock in the 1940s is going to be one of the compares for our Golden Gala his great claim to fame of course is being mole in Wind in the Willows in the original production in 1929 and ever since.

45:34He's doing it again this Christmas. He is mole. He chatted away merrily about Oxford in the 20s and A.A. Milne and life in the trenches during the First World War. He was in charge of the latrines. He scurried about the house. It's his family house, left to him by his mother. And when I told him how much I liked our chicken soup, ran off to the kitchen and returned triumphantly waving the empty Swiss snore soup packet at me. Later, he took me into the kitchen and showed me his collection of empty Swiss snore soup packets. Hundreds of them. He doesn't throw anything away. He took me upstairs to the top room in the house, bare floorboards with old suitcases and cardboard boxes all over the place, and showed me the shelves where he has kept every bank statement and checkbook stub that he has had since he first opened a bank account in 1914.

46:24Aww. He was absolutely delightful. Oh, he sounds wonderful. He was wonderful. Have you still got your checkbook stubs? I imagine some of the early ones I would have kept in those memoir boxes that I keep in the basement. Had you kept yours? Well, I did. And then I looked at one and every single one just said, milk, milk. It was just playing the milkman because he was the last person that accepted checks. So I threw that one away. I might have an old one somewhere. It's quite fun. Quite interesting records. Yeah, interesting record, yeah. Monday the 8th of October 1973. Broadcasting history was made today, and happily, I was a small part of it.

47:01The BBC monopoly of the airwaves has ended, and commercial radio has arrived onshore in the UK for the first time. The London Broadcasting Company, LBC, is the station that will provide a 24-hour news service for the capital. because no one is sure whether or not listeners will cope with the commercials i have been engaged to provide brain teasers for the all-important driving home program the idea is that i set a puzzle just before each commercial break and give the answer immediately the advertisement is over well we should do that on rosebud it's quite a clever idea isn't it brilliant yeah so the idea was take the word chesty c-h-e-s-t-y rearrange the letters into another everyday English word.

47:49See you after the break. And then two minutes later, they come back and I'd say, well, I gave you chesty to think about. Did you come up with another word made out of the same letters? Harriet? Oh my goodness, I can't do it. The answer is scythe. Oh, no wonder I couldn't do it. That's very challenging. That's quite clever, isn't it? Brilliant. Yeah. I'll give you another one. Oh, okay. In fact, I think this is the one I started with. Because was this a Monday, yes, Monday the 8th of October. So it's a Monday, M-O-N-D-A-Y, simple six-letter English word. You've got a couple of minutes now during the commercial break.

48:25Enjoy those commercials, and then I'll tell you how you can rearrange the six letters in the word Monday to form another everyday English word. See you in a moment. Two minutes later, we come back, and I say to you, Harriet, because you're the presenter, Harriet, I gave you Monday, rearrange the letters, and what you come up with.

48:47I can't do it. It's quite tricky. I encourage people to actually write their letters down on a piece of paper. You might get it. Given you're so zesty, you're like a human version of this. Dynamo. Yay! Well done. It's quite tricky, but well done you. Tonight went well. Real sense of adventure at the beginning of a new enterprise. The studios are in Gough Square opposite Dr Johnson's house off Fleet Street. They haven't finished building them yet. There were no doors to the studio itself. So during the broadcast, a secretary stood in the corridor by the open doorway going, shh, when anyone came by.

49:22So I was there on the first day of LBC back in 1973. And 50 years later, I was one of only two or three living people who had been there 50 years ago. I went back to Gough Square to where it opened. Was Tony Blackburn on? Oh, no, he was on radio, Big Radio London, wasn't he? This was speech radio. This was speech radio. So this was the first commercial news station. And a few years later, I was on the first commercial breakfast station. I love being in at the beginning of things. It was quite exciting. Yeah. And as you discover, I stayed with LBC for a while. And in fact, got Michelle involved.

50:00Yeah. Is that it for today? It is, Giles. What a brilliant episode. You got married. Yeah. The episode in which I got married. And there's a bit of an account of it. what we ate for the lunch and things. This is why a diary is a good idea. If you're listening to this thinking, oh yeah, I mean, do you know, can you remember what you ate on your wedding day? What you wore on the wedding day? How exhausted you felt at the end of your wedding day? Yes, because we read out a letter at the start, didn't we, from someone who said this has inspired them to go back. But I think quite a few listeners have written in to say it's inspired them to start writing a diary.

50:33So we encourage that, don't we? Who was it who said, keep a diary? And one day it may keep you. anyway that was 53 years ago it'll only be a few days till we see you next and if you are a member of the rosebud family we meet you every sunday because we have a special sunday episode as one of the extras if you join the family and to do that you simply get in touch with us at www.patreon.com forward slash rosebud yeah we do giles and harriet's diary on that don't we Giles we do where we just talk about what we've been up to in the last few days that's quite fun and also we go on trips down memory lane we do and we read our murder mystery we could play a little clip of our our diary episode actually let's just play one now oh next time should we talk about people whose swimming pools we've swum in Giles let's do that because I once swam in Diana Dawes' swimming pool oh and that is not a euphemism it is not and her husband turned up.

51:36Oh. And he was not amused. Oh. Yeah. OMG. She was in the lounger. She was in the lounger in a one-piece. Yeah. I was in the pool. Oh. And he came back. He was a bit of a rascal, actually. He was quite frightening. I'll tell you a bit about him. That's for another day. That's rather fun, isn't it? Just me and Harriet messing about, really. We share some of our secrets with the Rosebud family. Anyway, that's it from Rosebud for today. Until we're together again next time, can I tell you something? We love having your company. We really do. So from me, Giles, and from... Me, Harriet. It's goodbye.

52:15Goodbye. Cue the music.

52:33Thank you.

53:07That was more Rosebud with music by Phil Leppard, production by Harriet Jane, and in the chair, me, Charles Brandreth. Thank you for listening.