More Rosebud - Gyles's Diaries episode 42

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2:04Hello, this is Giles Bradworth and I'm full of joy because it's June. I'm also full of joy because I'm joined as ever on a Tuesday by my friend and colleague, the producer of Rosebud, Harriet Jane. Hello. Hello, Harriet. Is June a good month for you? It is. It's my birthday month. It is. This coming Saturday will be the birthday of Harriet Jane. And I'm not seeing her on her birthday, but you've got lots of family people. Because it's a Saturday. You're seeing lots of family people, I think, over the weekend. Seeing my sister, both my daughters for separate things and a friend. Very good. Because we're seeing each other quite a lot at the moment because we're rehearsing for our Edinburgh show.

2:47and I was hoping to have a birthday lunch with Harriet to celebrate her birthday but I have to put this on the back burner because she's not really wanting to have any celebration at all until we've learned the lines, until we've learned the songs, we've got the moves right. We can't quite believe that we're doing some informal tryouts in only a couple of weeks' time. I think it's two weeks today or two weeks tomorrow. I know, crumbs. Are you allowed to read off a script? No. Well, I think at the first, we could at the first read through. But the truth is, two weeks from now, we ought to have dropped the books.

3:27We're doing a couple of private shows. And then we are at the Bedford Park Festival, where there are maybe a few seats left. I don't know. Then we are at the Riverside Studios in Hammersmith. This is all in London, England. Then we're at the old sorting office, which is in Barnes, southwest London, where they've sold quite a few tickets for both of those shows. And then we go, which is not... There are two shows there. There are two shows there. I don't think I've got both of those in my diary, Giles. Oh, you better be there. Please be there. I'll be at one. I'll tell you what the dates are now in case people want a book because the first one, I think, is almost booked up.

4:02And the second one, I mean, it is all a bit frightening, you know. Just on Sunday, I finished my last tour of my last show, Giles Brand with Can't Stop Talking. who's in Watford. And so this is quite soon. We are going to be, oh Lord, I'm just flicking through the diary here. We are going to be doing end of July. Where are we? Yes, we're doing the old sorting office on the 2nd of August. That's the last one we're doing. And then we're doing one a few weeks before on the 19th of July. Oh, I have got that. 19th of July, 3.30. And the 2nd of July, 3.30. These are still tryouts where we'll listen to the audience.

4:45If they don't like things, we cut them. If they do like things, we can do more of that. The following week, we are up in Edinburgh at the Gordon Aikman Theatre, Assembly George Square. We have sold lots of tickets, four figures worth of tickets. Fastest selling show in that venue. people are coming literally from Australia, from India, from North America so far, have booked to come and see us. Wow. We're learning a lot, aren't we, as we do this? We are, we are. Giles, can you sit, wait, can you, sorry, can you make sure you're not rocking backwards and forwards, forwards and away from the mic, and you're just a sort of steady distance from the mic, possibly not as close as you are now.

5:29Just have the mic where it is, but just move back a bit yourself. Is that better? Yeah, but stop rocking. I'm always having to tell you, you know, when you're on a microphone, you want the same distance to remain between you and the microphone at all times. Do include this. I'm not including this. Please include this, because people would be surprised to know that I first appeared in front of a BBC microphone, I think it was in 1966 or 67. So I've been doing this for quite a long while. But the young Harriet Jane, who's having a birthday, she's getting older at the end of this week, is telling me that my microphone technique is hopeless.

6:06In fact, she says this to me on a regular basis. I'm rocking with excitement because here we are. And we're going to do some diaries. Also, I'm a little bit high because, I'll be honest with you, I've had some highs and I've had some lows in recent days. Three good friends of mine have died recently. I'm sorry to hear that, Giles. You are still at the going to weddings stage, aren't you? Do you ever go to christenings? Do you ever go to... Maybe you're going to divorce showers. People have these divorce parties now, but you're not yet going regularly to funerals. Whereas I've reached the stage and age where I am.

6:52A man I knew well called Peter Bridsdale Scott died quite recently. He was a television producer. And with him in the 1980s, they did a whole series of shows including all the ones I did with Hinge and Brackett. Dave Hildebrackett, Dr. Adam Vadney Hinge. He was just a nice guy. And he brought out the best in people. And he introduced me to a whole range of people in the world of variety and entertainment. He did a series together called The Railway Carriage Game. And he had me working with people like Ken Dodd, one of the great entertainers of my lifetime. And fun people like John Inman, lovely people.

7:24And so I loved him. He was always good company. He always, it was always a joy to go and work with him. so that's isn't that nice i'm gonna i mean i don't want to cry but isn't it nice to be able to say someone was always a joy to work with always i can't remember we worked together for years i cannot remember a bad day of going to work with this man oh gosh he sounds fantastic so that's the first then and i did tell you about this when it happened my friend jeremy hanley died sir jeremy hanley kcmg formerly a conservative member of parliament Foreign Office Minister. In fact, I think for a while he was chairman of the Conservative Party.

8:05But he was a very middle-of-the-road man. He was just a decent individual, a lovely man. And he, again, he just made you laugh. He was a very witty speaker. Famously, he was at a dinner with Margaret Thatcher after a general election at which he got back. A very small majority. But he got 20 ,067 votes. 20 ,067 votes and he won the seat. And at this speech, when Margaret Thatcher was there, he said, I must thank you, Margaret, Prime Minister, I must thank you because you came to support me and you secured me that 67 extra votes that won me the seat. Margaret Thatcher, thank you. Mrs Thatcher got up and said, no, no, no, Jeremy, must explain to you, you got those 67 votes.

8:52I got you the 20 ,000. He was an amusing man. and he again was somebody who it was just fun to be with he was all on the day i became a member of parliament and when you do new things you are apprehensive i mean i know for example you are apprehensive about doing our show in edinburgh because it's new when i turned up at the house of commons my i didn't look it my stomach was churning i was so anxious i'd hardly ever been into the building before waiting on the steps outside the building was this man jeremy henley outside the building because he remembered how nerve-wracking it was to go through the gates for the first time, to go through security when you actually were a member and you didn't need to have things checked.

9:38You could just walk in. And he just showed me around. He showed me where the eating places were, where the tea room was. He showed me, you know, what the rules were of finding your place because to get a seat, when people usually sit in the same place, you have to go in and place a prayer card on the seat where you want to sit. And then you have to turn up for prayers at the beginning of the day. And there's these sort of things that you wouldn't know unless there was somebody there to turn up. But does that still happen? That still happens to this day. Because if all the MPs turned up, there wouldn't be room for everyone to sit down.

10:11So if you want to bag a place to be sure of getting a seat, you have to go in and you, before proceedings begin, and you place a prayer, it's known as a prayer card, in a little, on the back of the seat, There's a little thing, ticket holder, that you can put your name in. And then that's to book a seat. But to confirm your booking, you must be there for prayers, which is not shown on television. It's a private moment of prayer before the speaker's chaplain comes and conducts, says a few, you know, says a prayer. How lovely. And it is lovely. Rather charmingly, when saying prayers, you turn your back, you face backwards.

10:55So you're not gazing into the eyes of the opposition. So you're not thinking bad thoughts about the people opposite you. You're actually focusing on praying. And that confirms your place for the day. And that takes me to the third bit of sadness, a funeral that I've only just been to, Harriet, which is the funeral of somebody who also was in Parliament because he was in the House of Lords. a man called Lord Harry's of Pentagrath. And listeners certainly in the UK may be familiar with his voice if ever they listen to Radio 4 and the Today programme because for more than 50 years he presented Thought for the Day frequently and regularly on the Today programme.

11:35He had a lovely voice, a lovely mind, a lovely heart. And he was a lovely man. I sat with Chris Patton, former governor of Hong Kong, former MP, Lord Patton of Barnes, who has been a guest on Rosebud. And he said to me, I think Richard, whose funeral we are at today, is probably the nearest person to a saint that I've ever likely to meet. Oh, gosh. So it was a very moving occasion. There was a wonderful sermon preached by a guy who had been chaplain to Richard Harris, Lord Harris, when he was the Bishop of Oxford. Richard Harris had been the Bishop of Oxford. He then retired and moved in about 20 years ago to live near us in southwest London.

12:19That's how we got to know him, and we became very good friends. And this chaplain, who's now a middle-aged man, but had been a young man when he first worked with Richard Harris when he was the bishop of Oxford, said two interesting things that stuck in my head that he had learned from Richard Harris. One was, when you're with someone, or in fact through life, as often as possible to be in the now. And that's more than just being in the moment. People always say, you know, carpe diem, live in the moment. But be in the now, meaning this very moment. And not just your own now, but the now of the person you're with.

13:03And that's something that struck home with me because, as you have told me, as my wife Michelle has told me, I talk too much. And for me, the great joy of Rosebud has been learning to listen. I don't tell you you talk too much. No, you don't. Actually, you don't. But sometimes you do. It'd be hopeless if I kept telling you you talk too much because we wouldn't have a podcast. What I think he meant by being aware of the now is there's some times when it's fun for me to come into the room, bouncing off all the walls, being tigger-like and, you know, telling my amusing stories. but that other times when it can still be me i can come in the room but but being in the now i listen to you and your now might be slightly different from my now and i think what i was being told by the chaplain about what he'd been told by the man whose funeral we were at was the now isn't just your now it's the now of the people you're with and around so i learned that.

14:05And the other thing I learned from him is that this chaplain had been to see him and with some problems in his parish, maybe his family, I don't know. But anyway, a lot of problems. He unburdened himself to Richard, who then said to him, hold on, because this man was saying, you've got to change this, you've got to change that. And Richard went forward and said, I must tell you something. There's only one thing you can change, and that is yourself. The only thing over which you have control ultimately is yourself. So I just share those two aperçus. So that was a very moving, very moving occasion.

14:44This was an important moment, funnily enough, in different ways for all of us. And people took away from it different things. And it was interesting watching the people, some who were snuffling, some who were crying openly. Many weren't crying at all. And it reminded me again what I've learned through doing Rosebud and through being with you, Harriet, is that everybody's different. There isn't a right way or a wrong way to do anything. There isn't a right way to mourn. There isn't a right way to make your marriage work. There isn't a right way to be a friend or a wrong way. There's just a lot of different ways.

15:26So, Harriet, what's been the best thing to happen to you this week? My most memorable thing. What sort of a friend am I? You ask me what's been happening to you, and I tell you about three people who have died. I met with things dying, thou with things newborn. One of my favourite lines from Shakespeare. Tell me about somebody young, somebody amusing, somebody beautiful that you have encountered. Be a contrast to me. What's the best person you've met since we last spoke? We've been hanging around with Olivia, who works for you, haven't we? and she made a really delicious lunch for us, didn't she?

16:02She's got this amazing technique of slicing avocados, really thin, and then sort of fanning them out so they look like the petals of a rose. She's made these really, yeah, amazing salad. And then yesterday she made an onion tart and a cheesecake. I mean, we had an amazing lunch, didn't we, in the garden? Do you know it was only yesterday? Was it only yesterday? Yeah. Honestly, I've lost sight of time. Olivia is the girlfriend of my grandson Rory but I have to tell you Olivia was so thrilled that you noticed she said to me oh Harriet noticed that I tried to make a rosebud out of the avocado oh no it was really beautiful that salad that she did I don't know how she slices it so thin but she's really clever she's 18 she's going to go to Edinburgh University she's as bright as a button you know she's fluent in Polish I do bilingual It's quite impressive.

16:55I do know that. She got Polish aid. Well, it does help if you have two Polish parents, of course. Oh, it does. But there are quite a lot of people that don't manage to bring their children up bilingual, even if they are not English speaking. Because I've got a few friends that have sort of not quite managed to do it. Because you have to be quite persistent when your children are really little to get them to take to it. I mean, because you've got daughters the same sort of age as Olivia, Harriet, what do you get from being with, she's 18, what do you get from being with people of that age? Well, you get a lot of new language, like riz, which I think I introduced you, no, I think you knew about the word riz.

17:44Only because of knowing Susie Dent, you know, being the word of the year two or three years ago. Oh, it was the word of the year. A short for charisma, isn't it? Yes, but you've either got Riz. I think we might have talked about this before. It's often in relation to the opposite sex, or that's the impression I get. So my youngest daughter announced to me a couple of years ago that she had Riz with boys. And I'm afraid I said to her something which might sound a bit big-headed, which is I said, I've got Riz with boys as well, or I can have, you know, I can be good at that. Flirting, I guess. Yeah, anyway, Belle announced to me that she had that and I said, oh yeah, that doesn't surprise me, Belle.

18:31You got it from your mother. You've either got, or you haven't got Riz. There could be a sign in that. You haven't got Riz, yeah, exactly. What else? Wait, I'm trying to think what else you get. Oh, you get good makeup tips from them. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I didn't really know anything about makeup until my kids told me I needed to raise my game. So I've tried to do that a bit. Hair, hair and makeup. Yeah. And other things. I mean, you know, Belle, my daughter, is a really good singer and a pianist. So all the time there's lovely music in the house and lovely singing, which is so nice.

19:09When you come home and there's singing and music wafting out the windows. Oh, that's fantastic. Lovely. Yeah. That's sensational. Is she going to be able to help you with the songs for our Edinburgh show? Yeah, possibly. You could practice them. She's a lot, do you know what, she's actually a lot better than me. She actually puts me off singing because she's so good. Then I hear my voice next to her, I think, oh, that sounds really... Look, this could be the answer to all our problems. I know, I forget to do... If we need an understudy, she's got Riz. She's got Riz. She knows she's got Riz. and she's got a beautiful singing voice.

19:47Yeah. I mean, what's not to like? So if you're planning to come to see our show, which is going to be in Edinburgh, it's called Up Memory Lane with Giles Brandreth, Harriet Jane and a twist of Rosebud. It could be on certain days. It's with Giles Brandreth, Belle Wilson and a twist of Rosebud. Yeah. I'm going to get her to record a backing track and I'll just mine. That's what all the big stars do now. They're not singing, Giles. They're just miming. As you know, Michael Ball is a neighbour of mine here in southwest London. He's also, he really is very sweet about Rosebud. He's a regular listener.

20:26And he's been a guest with Alfie Bow. I will get my voice dubbed by Michael Ball. You'll get yours dubbed by Bell. So it's Bell and Ball. You think you're coming to see Brandreth and Jane, but actually it's Bell and Ball. You're actually a really good singer, Giles. You are joking. You really are. You are so sweet. No, no, I was listening to the recording we did. I mean, I think you're brilliant. I'll tell you what I'm really enjoying, and then we must read the diaries. I'm really enjoying the rehearsal process. And I want you to enjoy it because, as any actor will tell you, the rehearsal process is the most exciting and interesting part.

21:09Oh, is it? Oh, I was looking forward to it actually being on. That is good, but it only works if you've done the rehearsal process. When you get onto the stage, you think, oh, I wish I'd rehearsed more. You've got a Michael Ball story, haven't you, Harriet? Yeah, I've got a funny Michael Ball story, which is that a friend of mine used to get invited through her mother-in-law to Victoria Wood's Christmas party. Victoria Wood used to have these lovely Christmas parties at her house, and they would always involve singing around the piano because Victoria Wood, as we know, was a brilliant pianist.

21:42and everyone there was brilliant and talented and my friend amazingly used to be able to go along to these parties which was really good and they were all singing away around the piano carols or Christmas songs and my friend was next to this man who she said had the most amazing singing voice and there he was singing away and she just couldn't believe how good he was and eventually at the end she sort of turned to him and said I mean you really have the most wonderful voice have you ever thought of you know you should make something of this you know maybe join a choir or maybe take it up you know do a few open mic nights and see if you could make a career out of it and then my friend's mother-in-law said to her that's michael ball you idiot he's a professional he's a west end star anyway my friend had no idea who he was and had just recommended to michael ball that he make a go of singing professionally.

22:41But it shows how nice Michael Ball is that he just took it on the chin. He did. I think he said, yeah, you know, I might look into doing a few things. Well done. Oh, dear. Anyway, do please come and see us in Edinburgh. Whoever turns up on the stage, we hope it'll be a fun one. To book for Edinburgh, you simply go to the Rosebud website and there's a link straight away there, isn't there? Oh, brilliant. And the Rosebud website is... It's rosebudpodcast.co.uk. Fine, you'll find us there. And right now, you'll find us doing some diaries. Yeah. And I hope people will find out what's been going on in my life.

23:20In 1976? We're in 1976. I'm still in my 20s, but a little bit, you know, well into my 20s now. It's Monday, the 1st of March, 1976. You're a dad now, aren't you? I am a dad. I'm married. I'm a dad. Quite a big change. Quite a big change. How old are you? 27. OK. Good. The diary begins, I think I've found a new play for this year's Oxford Theatre Festival. It's not completely new. It was commissioned by the Royal Court a couple of years ago, and they've sat on it. I think it's wonderful. Wordy, witty, intelligent, emotionally gripping. It's called Dear Daddy. It's by Dennis Cannon. It's about an acerbic literary man in crisis and his relationship with his wives and children.

24:10Wives? Yeah. And I want us to do it. It's a modern check-off with the verbal flair of John Osborne. Yeah, it's that good. And when I read it in bed, have I ever reported that I always sleep on the right side of the bed? I said, yes, out loud. And I gave it to Michelle and she said, yes. And Noel, who is my partner running the Oxford Theatre Festival, he said yes as well. And today I went down to Chichester to meet Alan Bedell to talk to him about it. And he said no. He could have said no on the telephone but he thought it more courteous to drag us down to Chichester so that he could say no in person.

24:52Oh dear. Actually I liked him. He is small and serious and a wonderful actor intelligent, interesting with a unique voice and that something extra that makes him both watchable and a star. But he seems to have reached the age and stage they seem to reach, compared him with Ian Carmichael, when they prefer to talk about plays and projects than actually take them on. Have you heard of Alan Bedell? He was hugely famous, Harriet. Hugely famous in his day. Oh dear, I'd probably know his picture, maybe. You might know his picture. He was a stage star, but he was magnetic. Anyway, it would have been a big catch.

25:29Sunday, the 14th of March, 1976. Michel's birthday dinner at the Ritz Is it the prettiest room in London? Probably Is it the best food in London? Probably not Is it the most expensive? Certainly We went with Simon Cadell and he suggested that as a starter caviar might be rather fun It's a special occasion I opted for the smoked salmon at£2 Michel and Simon went for the caviar £35 pounds a portion. Wow! 1976, Harriet. That's probably about 500 pounds in today's money. Gosh. It was brought on a clanking trolley and served like a holy sacrament. I bet. Simon scoffed his in a matter of moments. Michelle managed to linger over hers a little longer.

26:21But when the trolley came rumbling past again, Simon called out, Waiter! And turning to Michelle said, I think we could manage another portion each, darling. Don't you? They did. I paid. It was ludicrously expensive, but unusually for Michelle, she did not resent the extravagance. I'm really surprised. Yeah. Wednesday 17th March 1976. Harold Wilson has resigned as Prime Minister. No one seems to know why. I know why. We are fellow Pisceans. Last week, he celebrated his 60th birthday. I imagine years ago, he promised himself that he would hang up his boots at 60. I'll throw this in, Ariad. I later got to know the family a bit better.

27:11And as you know, I'm now a friend of Robin Wilson, one of his sons. And what I speculated there was partly true. He had decided in his head that 60 was the time he wanted to step down. But also he was concerned that his mental powers were no longer as acute as they had been. and over time he developed dementia. I'm on the train to Oxford, going to see Barry Shepard, Elizabeth Sweeting's successor at the Playhouse. He's a funny-looking creature. Tuesday, the 30th of March, 1976. Goodbye, 170, Clarence Gate Gardens, NW1. Hello, 1, Camden Hill Gardens, W8. We, and the Guardian Building Society, are now in proud possession of a fine late Victorian five-storey freehold family house in Kensington.

28:03Pickford's ran the removal well. Everything is chaos, but it's going to be good. The vendors took the doorknobs from every decent door in the house and they walked off with light fittings they were supposed to leave. We're getting them back and eventually it will all be wonderful. Lower ground floor, big family kitchen at the front, playroom opening onto the garden at the back, utility rooms. Ground floor, proper drawing room, fine fireplace at back, large dining room at front into which the monkey is putting a wall of handcrafted bookshelves. The monkey was an actor who had played the monkey in the production of The Little Hut.

28:44We'd done it in the West End a couple of years before. So we just called him the monkey. We can never remember his name. But he was good at joinery as well. He was good at joinery. He was called Mike Ellis. lovely guy. Very useful person. Into which the monkey is putting a wall of handcrafted bookshelves. First floor, main bedroom, dressing room, bathroom, second bedroom, which I'm going to use as my study. Second floor, interconnecting children's rooms, bathroom, laundry room, etc. Then up a tiny flight of stairs to the two rooms in the attic for the nanny. It's all very Mr and Mrs Darling. And from Bennett's bedroom, you get a fine view right up the street to the church at the top of Camden Hill.

29:24Sounds lovely, Giles. It was lovely. It was. It was lucky. Gosh, I have been lucky in my life. You have. But it comes at a price. Listen to this next paragraph. We have stretched ourselves to capacity and beyond. We are selling Goodwood Court. That was a small flat we'd bought as an investment property. Irene Josephi, that's my agent, has advanced me£2 ,000, and I've squeezed every penny I legitimately can out of Simon Clarke Productions. They were the people who were putting money into the new Oxford Theatre Festival. When we were looking for our first place five years ago, everything that we saw then and wanted was just one step higher up the ladder than we could afford.

30:09Same again. So, we're living beyond our means. but with a bit of luck our means will catch up and this is a house for life. Tuesday the 6th of April 1976. James Callaghan has kissed hands with Her Majesty and is now the nation's new Prime Minister. In the final ballot of Labour MPs he secured 176 votes to my friend Michael Foote's 137. Callaghan is 64. Harold is enjoying saying to the world that he decided to step aside to make way for an older man. I began the day at Goodwood Court supervising the Pickford's removal of all our stuff from the flat. I decided to leave the doorknobs. I'm sorry we have to sell our investment, but I'm not sorry to bid farewell to our ghastly tenant, Prince Alley.

31:03He took the flat so that he could have unspecified treatment in Harley Street. He is gross and graceless. When he arrived, he demanded that I do his shopping, walking backwards in front of him through the grocery department at Selfridges, pulling the trolley and placing his selected items in the basket. He expected us to be at his constant beck and call. The kitchen floor is thick with grease and food droppings. The state of the bathroom is unspeakable. I left poor Mrs. Racuzo cleaning up. History needs to know she is wonderful. mrs recuso was our cleaning lady she came from portugal and she was wonderful gosh i'm just telling you that that tenant sounds awful he was a nightmare he called himself the agency found him they said he's called himself prince ali he must call him prince ali and he treated us well like servants and he expected us you know he was we were the landlords to do his shopping and i had Literally, go with him to Selfridges and walk backwards in his presence at all times.

32:09Ludicrous. Anyway, new paragraph. I've just returned from meeting the gang at Action Research for the Crippled Child. They have had a novel idea. Get 100 personalities to break 100 records from the Guinness Book of Records, raising£1 ,000 in sponsorship each time. I'm to make an attempt on the world record for the longest after-dinner speech The current holder is a Victorian clergyman the Reverend Henry Whitehead He spoke at the Rainbow Tavern Fleet Street in January 1874 without pause or notes for just three hours Beat that I will Friday the 9th of April 1976 What a difference 24 hours makes yesterday at noon i was dressed as a dinosaur at the magpie toy shop in dartford today dressed in the light gray suit in which i got married i had lunch at the ritz with dennis cannon and nigel patrick and nigel patrick harriet was a very distinguished english film and stage actor known as paddy patrick paddy patrick as we're to call him is going to be our leading man Of course, because he's a director and producer as well as an actor, he's already wanting to manage the entire enterprise.

33:32We'll cope. Dennis said to me afterwards, Remember, Larry Olivier produced my first play. I'm used to the ways of these charming monsters. We sat at one of the window tables overlooking the park. Reginald Maudling was at the next table, fast asleep. He looked very fat and old. and rumour is rife about the leader of the Liberal Party. That was Jeremy Thorpe, who'd been denying rumours and he just resigned as the leader of the Liberal Party. And, well, we know what happened to him. Did he or didn't he have an affair with a male model? Did he or didn't he threaten to kill the said male model if ever he spoke of it?

34:16Always believe the worst of people, said Dennis, then you won't be disappointed. Oh, I don't know if I do that, Giles. Do you do that? Believe the worst of people? No, but I do remember the great Alistair Bruce on our podcast, the advice his mother gave to him. Always remember, darling, everybody is a little bit disappointing. If you remember that, you'll never be disappointed. Yes, I suppose so. But I think I tend to think the best of people and then I get a shock when I find out people are dishonest. It's a bit silly of me. Well, hope for the best. tack hope for the best expect the worst exactly good advice that's the line to take unless you're listening to rosebud in which hope for the best expect the best and we hope get the best that's our new motto get the best get the best with zest get the best with zest yeah anyway on saturday john selwyn gummer prospective tory candidate for the eye division suffolk broke the longest after dinner speaking record, speaking for four hours, one minute and 50 seconds.

35:27At the Mayfair Hotel London this evening, I established a new world record when I talked non-stop for four hours, 19 minutes and 34 seconds. Those in attendance included Bob Birchfield, editor of the Oxford English Dictionary, official adjudicator, Cyril Fletcher, Nicholas Barsons, Gail Honeycutt, Simon Williams and 60 others. Good supportive friends, Kirsty McLeod, David Graham, Noel Davis, Marne Parr. Simon Williams sent an amusing good luck telegram from the tallest actor to the longest speaker. I'm hopeful that with sponsorship and donations, Yehudi Menuhin and Elizabeth Beresford each sent£10.

36:10Ditto Bob Monkhouse. Irene Josephi sent£100. We shall comfortably exceed our target and that the record will stand long enough for me to feature in the Guinness Book of Records. Ah! I did. I'm there in the 1977 edition. I'm just looking down the list of donors again. Terry Jones, Janet Sussman, Sinead Cusack, William Franklin and the Marquess of Londonderry each sent£10. Bernard Miles sent£2. Nicholas Parsons gave one pound.

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39:02We've taught millions to Manny, and now it's your turn. So go to oliveandjune.com slash DIYlove20 for 20 % off your first system using code DIYlove20. That's oliveandjune.com slash DIYlove20. Friday, 11th June, 1976. I returned from Chicago and the American Booksellers Association and went straight to Sheiky's for a catch-up lunch with Noel. over Dover's soul, off the bone new potatoes and spinach en branche, not à la crème we reviewed the situation Reviewing the situation is Noel's theme song he sings it every morning as he arrives at our office we're now in a small room, once a bedroom on the top floor of the National Liberal Club in Whitehall Place there's a cracked wash basin in the corner cracked, according to Noel by Maggie Courtney trying to pee in it Maggie Courtney Margaret Courtney, she was a wonderful actress, but quite an amply proportionate leading lady, a great human being.

40:09I usually get to the office before Noel, but I know when he's on his way because as he gets to the top of the stairs, before he starts singing, he hisses in a huge stage whisper, Buddies can and will go to Paris. Does that mean anything to you, Harriet? No. That was the message sent by Jeremy Thorpe to his model lover. Bunnies can and will go to Paris. The rumour mill was, you know, and we were in the National Liberal Club where we'd hired this office. So this was a naughty thing for Noel to be saying. Noel loved being naughty and amusing. Last time, when we ran the festival from Clarence Gate Gardens, he arrived singing to the music from Carmen.

40:51Mrs. Racuso polishing the door Dropping the dishes, scrubbing the floor The festival news is all good Sinead Cusack, John Stride, Peter Egan, Barbara Murray, Nigel Stock all confirmed for Arms and the Man and the Shaw Estate, difficult buggers are graciously allowing us to use two sets rather than three Best news is that Patrick McGee will direct Waiting for Godot the first major revival since the original and now to be directed by an inner member of the beckett circle i like pat he is impenetrably irish profoundly genial and permanently sloshed and he is like sam as we now call the master i mean samuel beckett we know what he is saying is funny and intelligent even though we don't really understand a word of it saturday the 19th of june 1976 we said goodbye to lope on wednesday oh lope was my nickname for penelope webb who had been our boy bennett's nanny since shortly after his birth in 1975 she was a lovely girl and today we went to braintree for her wedding it has been a brilliant summer scorching hot blue skies and dazzling sunshine until today on the day darling lope got married to charles norris nice accountant the skies darkened the heavens opened and the rain came torrenting down i think she was sorry to leave us i'm going to cry oh i think she was sorry to leave us i know we're sorry to lose her as she got into the car to go away bennett now 15 months tried frantically to cling on to her and she wanted to hold on to him too.

42:42Lope, looking like Lettuce Leaf, the greenest girl in the school, with her moon-like face and gold-rimmed granny glasses, has been part of us. The jury is still out on her successor, Lumpenlara. Monday, the 5th of July, 1976. The United States of America has been running riot, celebrating the nation's bicentennial. Gosh, this must be exactly 50 years ago, Harry. because we're now celebrating 250 years yeah wow the united states of america has been running right celebrating the nation's bicentennial there has been much dancing in the streets there's been dancing too in the bar of the irish club eaton square sw1 where we are having the arms and the man rehearsals partly because we went to see the first run this morning and it's looking good, but chiefly because Noel was having his first open drink in days.

43:39He's just back from his visit with Robert Shaw. Now, you've heard of Robert Shaw, haven't you? Yes. The stage actor remembered for The Sting, Jaws. Jaws. Yeah. He's just back from his visit with Robert Shaw at his castle in Ireland. And because Shaw is off the booze, the rest of the House Party was expected to be teetotal too. Noel was severely reprimanded when caught climbing the stairs to his bedroom, bottles clanking beneath his raincoat. Noel knows Shaw and the bottle is a serious issue. Shaw's father was an alcoholic who took his own life when Robert was 12. Noel loves him, but Noel loved Mary Ewer more.

44:20Mary Ewer was the second of Robert Shaw's three wives. And she was first married to the playwright John Osborne as she'd started to look back in anger. Anyway, Noel was a real friend of hers. Noel loves him, but he loved Mary Ewer more. She was an alcoholic too. Noel was with her on the night she died. She took an overdose after the opening of her play, The Exorcism. He was called back to the house by the police to identify the body. Noel blames John Osborne, such a monstrous first husband, she was driven to drink. Oh. Well, that's the interesting thing about a diary, isn't it? Written at the time.

45:03Noel knew these people. It's his record. Doesn't mean to say any of this is true or accurate. It's just one person's impression of the characters involved. Just give you a couple more entries. Monday, the 2nd of August, 1976. Michael Winner is a monster, an arrogant nobody. Oh. This is the famous film director. Calm down, dear. exactly but Noel regarded him as a catch so we booked him for the second of our festival Sunday nights and that's when the trouble started the fuss, the bother the phone calls from assistants with preposterous demands for example, on the stage Mr Winner will require a side table a large ashtray and a new box of long swan vesta matches the match heads must be checked and must all be in the box pointing in the same direction we build the evening as a man and his movies the most spectacular film clips from the most amusing young man in a profession of awful people sunday times quote supplied by winner he came in a powder blue rose royce with dark glasses and cigar i introduced him from the stage he did his stuff he was not very funny and the films are self-evidently not very good that said the small audience who turned out for him seemed happy enough i went i went to michael winner's house once ah it's fabulous wasn't it it was yeah inherited i think from his mother or his parents yeah oh really yes and um it was because he came on that program i used to do on radio four my my teenage diary and most of my guests would either type up their diary and email them to me or lend me their diary.

46:50I mean, some people lent me their diary for months. It was very trusting of them. But Michael Winner refused to type it up and refused to let me have his diary and instead made me go to his house and sit in his cinema in the lower ground floor typing frantically his diary into my laptop because he gave me an hour or something. And he made me sort of, I had to go down there and transcribe this diary as quickly as possible while he said slightly condescending things to me like well done dear aren't you doing a wonderful job and yes run along and that sort of thing it could be a nightmare i did a one show film with him at that house and he was so patronizing to the young female director telling her that she had the camera in the wrong position and i said rather than have a row i said why don't you i mean he is a distinguished director let him direct it and he put the camera in a different position and maddeningly it did improve the shot no end so i think technically didn't know what he was doing which was annoying but that was last night this morning was altogether more civilized we gathered for the first dear daddy rehearsal and because paddy patrick is a gent of the old school instinctively it was all done as these things always were i the company manager and company were on parade at 9 45 a.m laying out scripts making coffee the junior members of the cast arrived at 10am.

48:12The principals were in position at 10.15am. Mr. Patrick arrived in a suit, always a suit for the first rehearsal, at 10.25am. And on the dot, at 10.30am, Miss Phyllis Calvert walked through the door, summer frock, summer coat, summer hat. Always a hat for the first rehearsal. We call them Mr. Patrick and Miss Calvert and is invited to do otherwise. Giles, that's what we need to do for our rehearsals. Do you know, I think we do. Well, I think I told you some of this when we had our first rehearsal. But as we go through the rehearsals, there is an advantage to this kind of formality, in a way. You know, it makes you realise, this is a rehearsal, we've got to do it carefully.

48:59Should I wear a hat then to our next rehearsal, Giles, do you think? See what the effect is. Yeah. Well, that used to happen all the time. It's funny, isn't it? Yeah.

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50:19All you do is prep, paint, cure, and you're good to go. And the best part, it's super easy and so affordable. Each mani breaks down to$2. So let's skip that$80 salon appointment and get the salon quality look at home for so much less and on your schedule. Head to oliveandjune.com slash DIYgel20 and use code DIYGEL20 for 20 % off your first gel mani system. That's oliveannjune.com slash DIYGEL20. Code DIYGEL20 for 20 % off your first gel mani system. Wednesday the 11th of August 1976. We live in Camden Hill Gardens within five minutes of Notting Hill where last night the carnival ended in a riot.

51:05Bricks thrown, windows smashed, shops looted, 350 police injured many with stab wounds it all passed us by partly because the trouble apparently never moved south of Holland Park Avenue but chiefly because we were 70 miles away having dinner at the Elizabeth here in Oxford we had dinner there again tonight celebrating the first night triumph of dear daddy it was the civic night with the town hall reception and all went well except that Noel was truly miffed that I failed to introduce him properly to the Lord Mayor. He, Noel, made a terrible scene in the Playhouse Foyer, screaming that he did all the work while I took all the credit.

51:48Is that how you sometimes feel, Harriet? No, not at all. Good, excellent. So I learned something from that experience. Michelle asked how much he had drunk so far today, and I did the calculation. We meet at the Mitre for Irish coffee at 10am, then its Bloody Mary Braces at the Randolph at 11, followed by a gin before lunch, wine with lunch and brandy doubles as the Digestif. However, no champagne was taken before six. Anyway, we made it up later over the Chateau Latour, truly, at the Elizabeth. The truth is, we are a very good double act, and we both know it. god life's a bit boring now isn't it giles no one's drinking like that all day they aren't fun it is so fun but that's funnily enough i think of you as a as us being a very good double act we are but we're not drunk i mean actually i couldn't work if i'd had nor could i a bloody mary irish coffee a gin wine double of brandy i mean i'd be sleep believable isn't it i mean Irish coffee, 10am, Bloody Marys, gin before lunch, wine at lunch, double brandies after lunch.

53:04I mean, extraordinary. I know. But then, you know, he had that terrible stand-up row. It's true. But he was marvellous. He was one of our greatest friends. He was the funniest man alive. And he was brilliant. We were a very good double act. And we knew it. do you know i now realize you know we often say this how these diaries nothing's this is 50 years ago i now realize i'm i'm trying to recreate all these things from my youth you're you're my new no we don't drink at lunch but i'm always saying to you can we have lunch aren't i i'm all i'm always saying that and you say no we've got to rehearse i'm always saying that i'm gonna start drinking more i think giles i think maybe that's where i'm going wrong no drunk no because i don't think drink really suits you oh why what are you saying no only because we have occasionally we have had a glass of wine then you almost immediately you regretted it you've said oh i wish i've never commented on your drinking but since you brought it up just now um i recall you saying oh i shouldn't have done that or um feel a bit funny yeah i mean you've never been a heavy drinker anyway have you and i don't drink at all so there's no i'm not encouraging you to drink particularly no i don't think you should encourage people to drink.

54:22But I love the idea of a six o 'clock glass of wine. I might have one. It's nearly six o 'clock when we're doing this, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Six o 'clock in the morning, everybody. We really do work hard. I'll get the Irish coffees on. Friday the 3rd of September, 1976. Francis Crowley's 60th birthday. It isn't in Flood Street and the wing of a stately home in Hampshire anymore. It's a compound ground floor flat of earl's court do you remember this gentleman we had dinner with him the night he and his wife revealed the truth to each other yeah but it's harcourt terrace and beautifully finished a startling thick pile carpet buttercup yellow and a good time was had by all a slightly too good time was had by francis when robin mawme had proposed the toast francis leaning up against the wall, slurred a sentimental response, closed his eyes and slid slowly to the ground.

55:19We made our excuses and left. P.S. It rained today. This is news simply because this has been England's hottest summer for a century. The summer of 76. That's 50 years ago. Yeah. And here we are, this May, with there being hotter May days, apparently, than at any time in my lifetime. So that's going back a bit to the 1940s. And 50 years ago, it was hot as well. Yes, but it's hot much more often now, isn't it? Don't you think? Well, I don't. Well, they seem to. No. If you read the diaries, it was hot day after day after day. No, no, no, no, no. In 1976, it was hot day after day after day. Oh, I see what you mean.

56:01But I would say now we have a hot summer almost every summer in London. Oh, do we? I mean, we had one last year. We had boiling hot weather. This year, we've already had boiling hot weather. This is why we are going to Edinburgh, Harriet, because it rains in Edinburgh every day. In fact, in Edinburgh, most days, you can get all three seasons, all four seasons. You know, anyway. So, look, is that the end of Diaries for today? We get more Diaries in two weeks' time? It is, yeah. Are there any parish notices we should share with people? Can I say how much I enjoy sharing my diary with you? and how you just print up the pages for me.

56:38I don't prepare for it. I don't read it beforehand. So when I come across somebody like Lope, our nanny, tears spring into my eyes because I haven't really thought about her for a while. What's she doing? How's she doing? I'm going to get in touch. The only thing I bet you, it was 50 years ago, I bet you her marriage worked. I bet you she had children and she was a great mum and by now she'll be a great grandmother. I'm sure. I will see if we've got her address somewhere and I'll send her an email. Or if you know Penny Norris, as I'm sure she became, yeah, Penelope Norris, if you can be in touch with us, what's the address they write to?

57:20Hello at rosebudpodcast.com And I'm pleased to say the inbox is being dealt with right now, this week, with the help of a very brilliant woman called Marie, who is helping me to work through the backlog. And it's going very well. So lots of people will be getting nice replies. We hope our team is becoming ever more efficient. We have our social media, which we're being helped with by another brilliant person called Sinead. Yeah. Don't we? Yeah. Lisa is helping us with some of our bookings, which is great. Alec is doing a wonderful job editing some of the shows and making sure they're on YouTube.

57:59Maureen Rosebud isn't on YouTube at the moment, but who knows what will be happening next year. Some will be. So Matt Haig will be. Yes, lots of people are talking about Matt Haig, saying we want Matt Haig. People found him really interesting. I think it was a great discussion. Wasn't it fascinating the way he spoke about his experience of depression? Yeah. And I think that's so interesting hearing people talk about that because so many people experience that themselves. I loved the detail that he gave us. I have to say, Harriet, and I do thank you for this, because, you know, we are the joint creators of this.

58:39I've learned so much about other people's experience through doing Rosebud. And I now, I mean, I listen to the episodes, of course, but I now am watching them on YouTube because Michelle loves seeing them on YouTube. And it's a slightly different experience. and you hear slightly different things when you're watching the person but I'm finding them an education as Ken Dodd used to say

59:08this is an educational evening which certainly taught me something

59:14anyway we hope you found me a bit of a caution and I know you will have found Harriet engaging as she always is anything more you want to say any parish notices do follow us on rosebud reflections on facebook if you want to join the rosebud family you can do so people go to patreon.com forward slash rosebud and you can get ad free listening and those extra episodes on sunday we're getting to the finale of my murder mystery the candlelight murders only a few more episodes to go that's exciting people have been enjoying it i've been quite excited by the way people have been enjoying it it's a actually if you join if you join um the rosebud family can you go back and hear all them from the beginning would that be available to you yes yes so if you want to hear me reading the murder mystery right from the beginning join the um uh and it would be cheaper probably than buying a book good thing to do on a summer holiday yeah yeah take take child by the pool into your earphones anything more you want to say to our lovely people no i mean keep cool maybe get a towel or a flannel and soak it in cold water and put it on your forehead as you um go to bed that's a good suggestion don't you think something like that or wrap it around your feet ludicrous selection in my view you end up with a damp pillow it falls off i've done this sort of thing in my part in the past i remember doing it with my feet as you suggested michelle accused me of uh weeing in bed she said what she'd get out of there and when there's anything if if there's even a moment even a touch of perspiration on the bed michelle is so fussy she will in the middle of the night three or four in the morning a touch of perspiration a moment of moisture on my pillow ah she goes all the lights are put on all the lights the room is half light anyway because of the cat all the lights put on she insists on emptying Clearing the whole bed.

1:01:15The undersheet, the sheet, the duvet cover, all the pillows. We have to remake the bed. Then you get back into the bed and you can't fall asleep. It's a nightmare. But I tell you what, Giles, there's nothing better than the feeling of clean sheets, is there? I think that's one of the best feelings ever. I agree. Yeah. It's one of the best feelings. It's worth it. Do that in the middle of the night. Brilliant. Who's the side of you on? It's clearly you're on Michelle's side. I don't want to be in a sweaty old bed either. I agree with her. It's never a sweaty old bed. It's only wet because I've been following the advice of Harriet and getting a damp flannel to put over my face and over my feet.

1:01:56And it falls off my big head quite quickly. It works for me. Makes the pillow damp. Then Michelle registers as a damp pillow, says, you've been sweating again. Kicks me out of bed. Oh, the whole thing's a nightmare. Oh, dear. Oh, deary me. We should have started these relate meetings years ago. Anyway. This is turning into an episode of Grumpy Old Men. No. No, it isn't. It is. No, it isn't. I don't believe it. I was once mistaken for Richard Wilson in the street, you know. That's enough. That's enough. Okay. Is that it, everybody? That's it. Stay cool. Stay cool. Stay calm. We'll be with you on Friday with another very, very special guest indeed.

1:02:38I think it's a woman this week, isn't it? It's the first in our New York season, which is beginning on Friday. Oh, we ought actually to tease this up just for a moment. We mentioned here 1976 was the 200th anniversary of the American Declaration of Independence. This is the 250th anniversary. And therefore, leading up to the 4th of July, we're going to have a month of American episodes of Rosebud, recorded by Harriet Chain and myself in New York recently. So it's very exciting, with one of the best talkers recognised as one of the best talkers in the world. She's been likened to Oscar Wilde, to James Baldwin, and to Dorothy Parker.

1:03:23And she will be on Rosebud this Friday. You're in for a real treat as we mark the 250th anniversary of the United States of America with a month of Rosebud in New York. Cue the music.

1:04:05Thank you.

1:04:32Thank you.

1:05:02It's a cleaner routine and a more refined space. Experience the difference of Kohler smart toilets. Find more at Kohler.com.