Jen Hamilton: Nurse, Content Creator, and Author

24:43Jen Hamilton:So then I wasn't allowed to work anymore. Did you know right then and there, like the scope of what you were dealing with? No. I mean, I knew not good, but I didn't know like bad, you know, because like ER blood pressures that we're used to seeing are not the same as like pregnancy bad, right? Like pregnancy bad, you're starting thinking it's bad at like 140s over 90s. I was like 170s over something, but I was used to seeing that all the time. People come in with stuff higher than that. So I'm like, it's fine. It wasn't fine. So they took me out of work and then they put me on blood pressure medicine until like 38 weeks.

25:23Jen Hamilton:And then 38 weeks I woke up because I could feel my heart beating in my fingers and in my lips. And my blood pressure was like 180 over 110. And they're like, yeah, you're going to have a baby today. So no more of that. No, we're messing around with that. Again, this feels very complicated to be working in this situation. Okay. Talk to me a little bit about the learning curve for labor and delivery because pregnancy and labor and delivery is so specific, I would imagine that there would be some degree of a learning process after the ER. Or am I totally wrong? Was it just like a walk in the park after the ER because you're only focusing on one thing instead of like car crashes and someone cut their foot off with an ax and like blah, blah, blah.

26:09Jen Hamilton:Yeah. So I definitely felt like I was back in nursing school whenever I went onto labor and delivery because I had no clue what I was doing. And there's this level of like, I hope I don't hurt somebody because I don't know what I'm doing. So I was very reliant on the people who are precepting me. Oh, another thing that was really hard to do is watch people hurt. Because in the ER, my job is make hurt go away. And on labor and delivery, not everybody wants that. Some people want to endure labor. So it was very difficult for me to sit on my hands and be okay with that because I want to fix it. I want to help.

26:50Jen Hamilton:And also now I tell patients like when they start to look uncomfortable, when they start to hurt, even when they start to cry, you know, I tell them like, this is the only area of the hospital where we get excited when we see that because it means that your body is doing what it needs to do, like you're progressing. But it was so hard to get to that moment where I was like, I feel comfortable in the presence of pain because that was not anything that I was comfortable with before. So that took a long time to kind of figure out. Like that pain is a positive indicator, which I hadn't thought about it that way, but it's like, yeah.

27:26So you are still a labor and delivery nurse today, as you were just talking about. You were in the hospital during a storm with a blow-up mattress and all of that hunkered down. So talk to me about the things that give you the most joy in this role and what makes you continue to do it because we're about to talk about the whole other side of your life because you have a full second life that's happening at the same time as your first life, which is also wild. So what do you love the most about labor and delivery and why you are still there?

27:57Jen Hamilton:So the main thing that keeps me there is the connection that I get to have with people on the most impactful day of their life. Sometimes it's the best day. Sometimes it's the worst day, But there's something magical that happens when you are with someone who has just met you, but relies on you completely. Such an intimacy. Yeah, such an intimate relationship that's forged over minutes to hours instead of, you know, years like you would a normal friend. And so it's just an honor to be with people and to be allowed in those spaces with people. And it's beautiful. I think also like the relationship that I have with my coworkers is so deep.

28:42Jen Hamilton:We help each other all the time. So it's like we drop everything. We go help each other. So it's also like my adult time. So that's beautiful also. But I think it kind of keeps me grounded. Like when everything else feels like it's out of control, that feels like a constant for me is that I know that I can always go to work and feel like a normal, regular human being. And so it's just a beautiful honor that I have in my life. So you started that role in 2018 and right around the corner was a little thing called the panorama. Oh, good Lord. So obviously that affected so much for all healthcare professionals.

29:21What anchored you through the beginnings of it?

29:23Jen Hamilton:I'm not gonna lie. It sucked. We were scared. We didn't know what we were going to be doing. Every hospital had people recycling their masks. We had to keep the same mask to wear over three different shifts. Jeez. Yeah. trying to ration PPE and stuff. So like we were scared, but then also having to be a rock and an anchor for somebody who's even more scared and bringing in a child to the set of contagion. Yes. And often without their people. Because like normally we had visitation rules that would allow, you know, like five people in the room before that. And then now we're saying you can have one.

30:04Jen Hamilton:and we had all these specific rules about stuff and it just felt so dehumanizing. I remember my sister, she had a baby during the pandemic also and he ended up getting jaundice, which meant that she herself could be discharged and now Tate was the patient. Tate could only have one parent there, which meant that they had to choose between my sister or her husband. And so obviously it's gonna be Julie and so she was there alone. While also recovering from labor. Yeah. Yeah. So it felt dehumanizing that like, I couldn't even go help her. It was scary. And I think that we kind of leaned on the patients, the patients kind of leaned on us to try to just get through it.

30:45And I read that during that time, that's when you also started making videos on social media. What was the impetus for this?

30:54Jen Hamilton:So it was really just a boredom killer for me. Because I mean, I'm at home having to like newly homeschool children that I didn't sign up for. And we all were just at the house trying to live. The first one that like actually got views was a video of me redoing a desk that I found in my parents' basement. We love a DIY on the internet. Yeah. So I made that and I was like, oh man, that's fun. Like that people are commenting on it and they like it. And so then I just started telling like funny stories and silly mom stuff. And slowly over the next year or so I was like, oh man, I have like 10 ,000 followers.

31:36Jen Hamilton:Oh gosh, 50 ,000 followers. Like there was no part of me that ever looked at analytics. Like recently this last year, Facebook invited me out to like their headquarters and stuff. And so they're asking me how I best use my analytics. And I was like, I don't even know where those are. I just put out stuff that I thought was funny. And then during that time, I think that the algorithm kind of figured out that I was into labor and delivery. And so it began to show me videos of people who had recently gone through a birth experience. And I got to see them tell their stories. And a lot of those stories, they were telling it in a very traumatic way.

32:20Jen Hamilton:Like this was so scary that happened to me. And they go on to explain very normal to me birth things. And I was thinking like, man, if somebody would have just explained to them in a compassionate, empathetic, and timely, accurate way what was happening to their bodies or to their baby, man, what a different narrative that they would have in their head of this thing that should have just been this beautiful moment, but it impacted them in such a traumatic, scary way because they didn't have full knowing or understanding of what was happening. So then I started making labor and delivery videos.

32:55Jen Hamilton:And I was like, if there are people that are with them that day, aren't going to tell them I will, you know, and I can help prenatally pregame with them about things that might happen and choices they may be faced with to help kind of make that not as scary of a situation if it happens to them in real life. What was the turning point when you realized this is potentially a whole additional career in addition to nursing? I think the part where I was like, oh, wow, was when people started recognizing me at work. Oh, goodness. Yeah. Like I would walk in and be like, wait, are you on TikTok? Yeah.

33:32Jen Hamilton:And so then I would hear from people like, oh my gosh, I just watched your videos the whole time during my pregnancy. And like you helped me understand X, Y, Z. And I was like, oh, this is really cool that like I'm seeing the back end of like this is really impacting people. And so that was the moment where I was like, oh, this isn't like normal life. And, you know, that has kind of like escalated now to where I get recognized a whole lot. And so it's awesome, but it's also a little bit scary because I feel like people who meet me out in the wild, they feel like friends that I've just not met before.

34:04Jen Hamilton:So like that feels fun and awesome. But then, you know, if I say something that somebody doesn't like, there's also that back end of like, I'm going to report you to the board of nursing. Right. Because you read something in a way that they didn't like. Like that's insane. And now we're going to try and mess with your professional life over nothing. Yeah. So like that sucks for sure. But everything that I put on the internet, I'm happy for people to know. I've been accused of being an overshare, which that I will definitely claim. Talking about shaving my Bruno Mars on the internet is probably not, you know, something that most people would feel comfortable doing.

34:40Jen Hamilton:But I mean, why not like normalize things that we all face? Absolutely. So just for context, you have over 6 million followers across platforms. I have to say, while I have so much admiration for folks who are so strategic about building and doing all this stuff, there's also this part of me that loves the fact that that is just a truly organic following. To your point, you're not even paying attention to the analytics. You're just putting stuff out there that you want to put out there. how do you balance between like your day job and then this secondary day job? Because I feel like the way that nursing shifts are set up seems like it would lend itself very nicely to this, but like, how do you schedule and balance all of this?

35:24Or is it not something that requires balance? It just comes when it comes.

35:28Jen Hamilton:So a little bit of both. I think it comes when it comes, but also like I've had this weekend schedule since before this thing ever happened for me. So it's helped me to not have to figure out like, oh no, like I don't have time for nursing. Nursing is the most important. All the other stuff I just fit in around my nursing schedules. So there's a little bit of both. And I think that people would be surprised to see how little my life is scheduled out. Like I don't know what's wrong with me, but I have a very hard time saying, okay, I'm going to sit down and work on this for three hours. I get things done by deadlines and pressure.

36:07It's the ADHD speaking.

36:10Jen Hamilton:And someone once said, if you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute. As a procrastinator, I do not need to hear that. So I really did well with writing a book because the whole thing is deadlines. That's the whole thing. And so whenever I first started thinking about writing a book, they're like, oh, you can get a ghostwriter. You can, I was like, people do that. I didn't know that people do that, but I ended up getting a book coach. Can we call it a doula? A doula. Oh my gosh. I'm going to tell her that. She would love that. A book doula. She would put me on a schedule and then I would write and then I would send it to her.

36:49Jen Hamilton:And then I would get edits back of like what she thought. And she learned very quickly. Don't edit out my crazy, you know? Yeah. That's why people are showing up for it. There was one day that she had edited out where I said titties in the wind and wrote naked. I said, absolutely not. How dare you? No, that is, that's your flair. That's like your pieces of personal flair on your suspenders. So first of all, the book is called Birth Vibes. Talk to me about why you decided to make it what it is and what you hope folks take away from it. Yeah. So like I said, with watching people's birth stories, I found that a lot of people had a lot of misunderstanding about things that had happened to their own bodies.

37:29Jen Hamilton:And in practice, I was also seeing both online and in person, people would come in with very, very specific birth plans about the way that they hope that their labor and birth would go. And I found that it wasn't how closely the birth plan was checked off that provided a positive or negative experience. It was all the other stuff. How were you communicated with? Who did you have with you and what were they doing for you? What was your environment like? What information were you given in order to adapt to new situations? It was all about this like cocoon of safety that was either there or not, so that no matter what happened, that you still felt heard, respected, empowered, informed.

38:15Jen Hamilton:And so I wrote this book in hopes that I could help prepare people for birth so that even births that go different than you think or births that go different than you prepared for still can be positive experiences, even and especially if things go awesome. Like that's fantastic. But so the whole first half of the book are HIPAA compliant stories of patients. So these are real actual things that I've experienced in caring for people as a nurse, but I kind of like blended them in identities, right? So like I'd have like two or three patients that I actually cared for and kind of put them together as one person or, you know, change some things around so that, you know, we're HIPAA compliant.

38:56Jen Hamilton:But they're all stories of different kinds of births that still are positive transformative experiences, even though there's an element that went different than we thought. And so each chapter highlights a vibe that you can plan for in your own birth so that you can be thinking about what makes me the kind of human that I am. Because we're all different. We all need different stuff. So like, for instance, I hate it when people touch my hair, like don't pet me. But a lot of people use that as like a comfort tool. And if I had a nurse that petted me like that, I am such a people pleaser that I'd be like, thank you.

39:35Jen Hamilton:Thank you. But I would hate it the whole time. But it's about being able to communicate those things that make you who you are to kind of fast track yourself into having a compassionate experience with your team so that they know how best to care for you. The whole second half of the book is all the information that I wish that people knew before they come in to have a baby. You know, and everyone is going to fall on a different level of the spectrum as far as what they know about their own body and what they know about the process of birth. There are people that I care for that come in that they could probably put on scrubs and take care of patients with me.

40:14Jen Hamilton:Like they get it. They know what's going on. And then there's other patients that I'm not even trying to be funny. Like I have to explain that there are three holes down there. And so it can be heartbreaking to see people come in with very, very little knowledge as to what is about to happen to them. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like what a holy moly moment. So I try very quickly in those moments to be able to bridge that gap. We're going over the basics of the things that I think that are important for you to know. So if you are faced with different choices or, you know, something goes different than you thought and you're offered a solution that you never thought of before, that you have some basic idea as to what that is so that you know more about it in order to make an informed decision in that moment.

41:03So you're not making a decision based off of brand new information that you've never considered before. Correct. So one thing that you say on social a fair amount, and one thing that also really stands out in the book that I love, your great phrase, it's okay to be scared because I'm not. What power do you find in that phrase, both for you and for the person on the receiving end? Like, how did you get to a place where it's like that distills so much of what's about to happen and what's going on? How did you unlock that?

41:30Jen Hamilton:Yeah, well, it came from watching people tell their stories and thinking that if I was in that moment with them where they're terrified, that just saying that gives so much comfort. I use this like how I explain being on an airplane to my kids, right? One of my kids, he's 13. He can fly anywhere. He's fine. My nine-year-old still gets pretty nervous being on a flight. The turbulence kind of freaks him out. And I always tell him, look at the flight attendant. Are they chill? Are they fine? Do they look like they're freaking out? So I love to tell my patients, you are safe. I've got you. Because looking to the people who live in that environment all the time and are faced with all these scenarios, looking to them and seeing like, okay, are they freaked out can give you such a comfort if they're not.

42:18Jen Hamilton:So I love telling patients, it's okay for you to be scared because I'm not scared. And I'll be not scared enough for the both of us. And you can borrow some of my not scaredness because we're going to get through this together. Now, do I sometimes say that and have a little bit of a butt pucker about what's going on? For sure. For sure. Because sometimes we encounter things that are not awesome and not fun. But I think that sometimes it even gives me comfort that in this situation, I still know what to do. I still am prepared for this moment. And I can help this patient to navigate the situation, even if it's something that neither of us were excited about experiencing.

42:54So you have a book tour coming up as well. How are you preparing yourself for the book tour? How are you thinking about it? And as someone who has done so much of the social piece of it from such an organic place, does it feel different promoting something in a more specific way?

43:12Jen Hamilton:Yeah. So to be completely honest and real, I did start on some anxiety medicine. So I think that that will help. I consider it such an honor to be in the same spaces with people who find anything that I've had to say valuable. I don't know what I don't know yet. I haven't experienced it yet to know exactly how I'm going to feel. I'm sure there will be some level of overwhelm. I'm sure there's going to be a large level of excitement. One thing that I'm really excited about is that I got permission from my kid's school to take my older baby, who's a teenager now. He's going to get to come with me.

43:51Jen Hamilton:And so I'm excited to see him see his mom do this kind of stuff. That's incredible. What I think is cool is that you have this massive, organic, beloved following, but then you also were recently awarded the 2026 President's Award from the American Nurses Association. So you also have the same level of awareness and success and accolades in your first life, in your first profession, that must have felt so gratifying to have like success in both fronts. What does it feel like to be recognized in that way by your peers? Do you feel like you need that? Or did it feel like just such a cherry on top?

44:35Because I know sometimes, and I hope you're not this way, but sometimes we get a little bit of imposter syndrome as success comes. So how did that validation feel?

44:44Jen Hamilton:Yeah. So completely unexpected and definitely cherry on top. I think that, you know, this last year I had a moment where I was kind of like advocating for compassion towards immigrants and people who need help with things. And so I had read Matthew 25, where Jesus tells us to welcome the foreigner and feed the hungry. And I just sat down at my kitchen table and I read that and put over the video, like news headlines of people kind of celebrating the opposite of that. And that's when I got reported to the Board of Nursing over and over and over and over again. And like the Board of Nursing had to reach out and say, you know, we've had several complaints against your license.

45:29Jen Hamilton:And to go from that to getting the American Nurses Association President's Award in the same year was such a wild whirlwind and felt like validation for living unapologetically on the internet because I could have just as easily been the kind of person who's like, oh, I'm going to stay away from things that kind of divide people. No, I'm going to stay on the things that I believe in. And part of the things that I believe in are totally, completely in line with the American Nurses Association Code of Ethics as a nurse. And so that's how I try to live my life. And so I've just felt so validated and vindicated that like, okay, I'm on the right track.

46:10Jen Hamilton:you know, and it's definitely not something that I ever expected or asked for or wanted, but what an honor it is to be seen, I guess, by fellow nurses in that way. As someone who watched the Red Words difficulty, which by the way, is so insane to me because it was so straightforward and simple and truly like, I don't understand how anyone could be offended as someone who is not religious in any capacity. I was not offended by it. It felt so bizarre that there was like a tempest in a tea kettle over it. It just seems so strange on the outside. Was that the first time you had dealt with sort of like the negative side of social media in terms of like its tentacles into your real life?

46:53Did it stress you out? Or were you just like, this is insane. I know I'm a great nurse. I know what I'm saying is in line with my values. Like there's no beef here. Or was that upsetting?

47:02Jen Hamilton:It was upsetting in the fact that people felt like they had so much control over my life. They wanted to talk to the manager. They did. And they sure did talk to the manager. So I mean, it definitely was not my first rodeo with like people not liking something I'd said or, you know, liking my politics or whatever. It's not even your politics. It's your values. Yeah. My morals, my ethics, my values, like all of those are the same for me. So it definitely was not the first, second, third, fourth time. It was definitely on a larger scale than it had been before. So like that felt scary. And then you're having to worry about like, okay, what kind of crazy people are going to come try to find me, you know, so that was hard, but it didn't sway me in any way to want to stop doing that.

47:50Jen Hamilton:One thing that I did early on is that when people tried to cancel me or be mean to me or whatever, I would just take whatever they said and put it on a t-shirt and sell it and raise money for good causes. Like somebody called me like a dumb whore with a degree. And so then I put that on a t-shirt and I sold it. But one thing that I did for me reading the red words of the Bible was I made read the red words t-shirts. And then I donated every single cent of that money to causes that Jesus as Christians tells us to care for. So immigrants, children who are hungry, who need to be clothed. Like I chose five charities because there's five different groups of people that in that passage, Jesus calls us to care for.

48:31Jen Hamilton:And so we raised$125 ,000. And so honestly, when people are mean to me, bring it on. I will do my best to turn it into something better. Oh, monetize it and then donate it. Yeah, exactly. I have to say, like, I really hope that while my baby days, that door has closed. I really hope that everyone who is contemplating having a kid or who knows someone who's contemplating having a kid that they get this book because it's really useful. So congratulations to you on that. Thank you so much, Hillary. Of course. Okay. So we like to wrap this podcast up with the same three questions that we ask everyone at the end.

49:09And the first one is about mistakes. I think that resiliency is one of the most important things that we can develop as humans, but certainly as women. So with that said, I'm hoping that you can tell me about a mistake that you've made at any point in your career and what you've learned from it.

49:27Jen Hamilton:I'd say that for me, something that I definitely regret is trying to please other people with my content at the beginning. You know, I had people in my real life being like, Oh my gosh, you're cringy. And so I let those kinds of comments really, really affect me. And I really like would dial back or try to change myself in a way what really unlocked success for me was when I just stayed true to who I was and stop worrying about the people that do not have any kind of direct involvement in my life. I couldn't be happier now that I've decided to do that, but I think it could have come so much earlier on and it allowed me to kind of accept myself in a way that I hadn't before because it was when I truly started to be who I was on the inside that I feel like I found my people, like the people that want to be around me in any kind of capacity, whether that's a follower person or like somebody that listens to my advice or whatever.

50:41Jen Hamilton:But there's people in your real life who are haters. And so I think that not listening to them is great. Yeah. Okay. So a lot of the folks who listen to this podcast are in their first lives and they want to do something additional. They want to move into a different area. Maybe they want to stay in the same area, but just explore a different element of it. As someone who has made a pivot in her career, but also is still maintaining her first career, what advice would you give someone who's standing there on the precipice of making some sort of career change, but just hasn't done it quite yet?

51:16Jen Hamilton:I think that being careful with who you tell your dreams and hopes to is important because people will let you know how they feel. And people feel very insecure when they feel like you're about to make a move. And like, I don't know, it's like some psychological thing that people feel like they have to tear you down. The second thing is, don't feel like you have to fully have the other thing realized before you kind of step off and start doing something else. You can start doing whatever it is you're thinking about doing right this second. Like today, what is the first step? There's so many people who think that they have to have a business plan or they have to have a logo or whatever it is that you're thinking about doing.

52:05Jen Hamilton:Like for me, I could have thought that I needed like a content calendar. I've never had one of those in my whole life. Like it's just doing it. That's a Nike slogan. But like, seriously, don't feel like you have to have it all figured out before you do it. And perfect is the enemy of good. Just do it and figure out how to get better at it later. Like whatever that first step is, do it right this second. Because you're never going to regret doing it. You're going to regret that you didn't do it sooner. I love that. Last question, favorite question. If you could get into a time machine and go back in time and give your younger self some advice, what would you say?

52:44Jen Hamilton:I think it would be to tell her that people will like you just the way you are. Oh. Like to quit trying to be somebody different, you know, just be who you want to be and people will like you. Titties in the wind. Titties in the wind, bro. Bruno Mars out in the wilderness. Yeah. I didn't need to make a joke, but that is really thoughtful. And I love that. I mean, it really goes back to like honor the authenticity. Yeah. Like we are who we are and all of our wonderful bits and all of our weird bits. And that's what makes us special and unique. And if you can just be accepting of all of those different bits, I think that's a very good way to go about life.

53:28Jen Hamilton:Yeah. Well, Jen, thank you so much. Congratulations on the book. Congratulations on everything. This was an absolute honor for me. So thank you again for making the time. Thank you so much. I appreciate you.

53:46That was labor and delivery nurse, author, and content creator, Jen Hamilton. For more inspiring interviews with women like Jen, head on over to secondlifepod.com, where we have so many more for you to peruse. If you liked today's show, please subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to rate and review us. We love seeing you spread the word on social. And now you can tag us in your posts. We are at Second Life Pod on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. We always want to know who you're interested in hearing from on the show. So send in your requests to hello at secondlifepod.com, or you can DM us on Instagram.

54:28I'm at Hilary Kerr. The show is at Second Life Pod. Our DMs are always open. I'm Hilary Kerr, and you've been listening to Second Life. This episode was produced by Hilary Kerr, Summer Hammeris, and Natalie Thurman. Our production assistant is Grace Ingram. Our audio engineers are at Treehouse Recording in Los Angeles, California. And our music is by Jonathan Leahy.