Suki Waterhouse - Back in Love

0:00You're listening to Song Exploder, where musicians take apart their songs and piece by piece tell the story of how they were made. I'm Rishikesh Hirway. This episode is brought to you by Booking.com. I've been to a few national parks over the years, and it's always been a pretty magical experience. I've been to Yosemite and Joshua Tree here in California. Those are some of the closest ones to me. But I've been wondering about taking a trip to one that's maybe not so close. And last year, I started looking at some lists ranking some of the most beautiful national parks. And one that's come up on a few of the lists is Glacier National Park in Montana.

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1:52Potential savings will vary. This episode has some explicit language. Suki Waterhouse is a singer, songwriter, actress, and model from London. She released her first single in 2016, and her first album, I Can't Let Go, in 2022 on Sub Pop. You might have seen her in the show Daisy Jones and the Six, which came out in 2023. Since then, she's also had her first child with her partner Robert Pattinson. And all of that history figured into her new album, Loveland. For this episode, Suki told me about how she made the song Back in Love with her longtime collaborators, producer Jules Apollinaire and songwriter Natalie Findlay.

2:32Back in Love was the first single from her album, but it was the last song that was written for it.

2:52I'm Suki Waterhouse. What was going on in your life around the time when you first started working on Back in Love? It was in December. And I kept flying back to London to work with my longtime collaborators, Jules Apolliner and Natalie Finley, who I met when I was like 18, 19. And I was a huge fan of Nat's. She has a project called Finley. And I got talking to them and that was kind of like how we first met. and started making music together. And now we've been doing it for, yeah, longer than over a decade. It's the most amazing thing when you find your tribe. It's hard to explain like how much of a joy it is and how much of like a shorthand we have.

3:37And it's like the best thing ever. It's always such a giggle working with them. It's very kind of like forget about the outside world. A lot of the times we hole up in their kind of studio in East London where they also live, like it's an old warehouse that's kind of like all open, their dogs running around. But this song in particular, I was kind of at the end of writing and the album didn't feel quite complete yet. I just knew that there was a song left. As in you didn't have enough songs for the album? Like you needed more? I definitely didn't need more. Yeah, I think I had like 70 songs for this.

4:19But it's just knowing. It's like you know when you've given all the blood that you have. And I knew, especially with Nat and Jules, that we hadn't quite reached that peak yet. So the phrase going around that day was like, if it's not literally what we think is a classic, then we're not recording it.

4:44That day that we started writing was actually not going very well at all. Me and Jules, we had this loop going and he was playing guitar and we had this song called If a Lady Was Your Lover. If a lady was your lover. And it was like... If a lady was your lover.

5:06And that was just like not having it. And she was like, this is weird. This sucks. This is not universal. This is like not the thing that we were setting out to do. And just like the day had like really gotten away from us.

5:24Then I had like this, yeah, something that I just shouldn't have even planned in the first place, but I had an audition, like a Zoom audition for a TV show. It was absolutely terrible. Like I'm balancing on the couch because the studio is very dark and there's like no over lighting. It's all just lamps and everything. And the casting director's like, this is terrible. Like I can't see you like you can't do this audition i'm like oh i'm so sorry like it was just like a mess but when i came back into the room they'd been like locked away together and nat had been yeah i guess she has like a mouth trumpet going

6:12It's soothing now, I think. Sick. Jules had got the sitar out and had made this intro.

6:26And I walked in and I was like, oh, this feels like the gates of heaven are opening.

6:37it's funny like so much of our work is like trying things and like yeah making like voice memos and doing things that like don't end up going anywhere or we kind of just like forget about them or we're just like yeah distracted by something or like ordering food or like playing with the dog and then there's suddenly like a collective energy where we all start like actually kind of like focusing.

7:09That's Jaws translating the mouth trumpet melody onto the whir, let's say.

7:26That's me. Yeah, that's right. back in love like came out of my mouth and me and nat were giggling about it because we were like maybe we were talking like about tit talks that we'd seen or something but i was like oh you know like when like a man fixes a light bulb or something and then you're like oh i'm back in love or like they mowed the lawn or took out the trash or like something like that and you're like wow you're like you got your shit down like yes i've been with rob for like eight years now and it's like you're always in love and then sometimes you just get like oh my god like a huge pang and you're just like i'm obsessed so that was like where the back in love phrase came from a lot of the times like honestly like if we just get three words just like a little phrase you're like okay we can build around this Once that intro came out The music flowed really easily Is Jules playing all the instruments or most of the instruments?

8:30Jules plays everything And I remember like the opening lyrics Like loneliness is a feather bed Where did that lyric come from? I like started working when I was like 15 Like I started modeling when I was 15 and definitely, like, very young. It opened, like, so many doors for me and, like, got, you know, opened me up to, like, so much culture and travelled a lot. It's like you're living your dreams in so many ways, but there's, like, a loneliness in that. When you, like, start doing something that just involves, like, a lot of travel, you just, like, you're not a great... You can be a great friend, like, over the phone, but you're not there for all the moments and you stop kind of like going out every week with the same group of people and it kind of falls away.

9:24And so there's like a isolation in that lyric. I still wanted it to feel glamorous, but it's like being in a beautiful bed, like by yourself or feeling by yourself.

9:39And then Nat just suddenly like came up with it. Eyes closed, sitting in silence Eyes closed, sitting in silence I was like putting myself in the place of like what's it like when I'm present with myself which isn't that fucking often but I like daydream about sitting by myself in silence Whole life hanging by a thread Eyes closed, sitting in silence Shoot the apple off my head You choose sugar or violence And there I can like hear the musical references. I think we'd listened to Dusty Springfield, Son of a Preacher, and like Primal Scream, Loaded, like 60s Psychedelic. That was like the musical feeling.

10:36Yeah, I feel like that comes through a lot. But has that kind of music been a big part of your musical identity for a long time? Yeah. Yeah, I think it is. I think there's always been this like draw to the 60s. And I remember when I was like 18, I would like completely dress like a mod. And I was always in like white tights. And I've always, yeah, it sounds like really cringy to say, but I kind of felt like I should have been there. I know that sounds like so cringy. I sound like such a dick. and what about the end of the verse the shooting the apple off your head and sugar and violence i think in a lot of this album i definitely was feeling quite like volatile you know you wouldn't really think it's like a post having a baby record but there's like definitely a lot of like raging postpartum hormones going on and i feel like do you know what i mean i feel like like in those lines sometimes that were coming out it's almost like this maternal like don't fuck with me kind of thing and like there's a kind of like protective rageness I feel like there's this part of me that's like this craziness of me that's like been unlocked where like I've always been like the very chill person and like anything goes and like I was saying like when I first started working it was like that's like a very much an industry where you're like having to be like pleasing and like being pleasing visually and like that's like probably stuff that I'm like trying to like overcome still today but like yeah now I feel like I've got like a loaded gun and there's like this thing in my life that I have something to like protect and something to lose now it's made me more fierce like I'm obsessed with like mother's instinct at the moment and like I've just become like more aware to listen to my instincts that's actually something that's kind of like playing into being an artist I think actually it's like when you're like making your record and choosing the songs and like you make something like a very pure way and like you don't really care what anybody else thinks when you're making it and then there's like the showing it to people and do the like label like it your team like it what do they think about it and like you can get like crushed quite quickly and like if you really believe in it sometimes you have to like go to like fight for stuff and sometimes you just get tired fighting and you like relent to something and then you like you're so fucking pissed that you did that you know did that happen at all with this song so we wrote the chorus and i had written with nat i'm losing my lust for life praying for dark to light just when i thought it would end i'm back in love again so like that is kind of like where my head was i wasn't in the most positive state of mind like while writing it so I remember like walking with my friend Poppy in Hyde Park the next day and playing her the song and she's like such a good barometer she's like basically A &R's my whole record like my friend I can just watch her face and when it got to the chorus I don't know like the excitement kind of died a little bit and so I remember like going to the studio that day after that walk and I was like hey like I think we gotta change that because it's not that explosion of joy but uh Nat and Jules were like so kind of like happy with how it was and yeah then we like kind of argued about it for a while because we had just when I thought it would end and I felt like that was like weak just when I thought it would end like I was like oh that doesn't feel appealing to me it's not lighting me up.

14:17Actually, I'm remembering now that part, like convincing them that we needed to change it. And then, you know, we like write one line and then we all start getting excited about it. And it's just like one of the coolest things, because I think one of us will always have like kind of a strong idea if they really don't feel something. And then it's like kind of battle of the convincing, you know. What did the lyrics end up becoming? I'm loving my loss for life Turning the dark to the light Happiness hits me when I'm back in love again And then like once we got that It was like okay I want to get to even more Like what kind of visuals can we have then And it was like dancing around Like back to jazz on the radio Back to beaches away we go That was Nat's line That's such a Nat line To be able to kind of like Back to beaches away we go I love that line and then I remember I was thinking about like when I like walk around with Rob and we like go on walks together just like late night walks and when you just take the strange street home we kind of go like what about we just go like this way and we go through like a an alleyway or something and like we both like get really excited about going and getting lost on purpose the enjoyment in there Love and my lust for life Turning the dark to light Happiness hits me when I'm back in love again Back to jazz on the radio Back to beaches, away we go Taking the long way home Back in love again

16:06More with Suki Waterhouse after this.

16:15song exploder is sponsored by lisa as is my sleep i have to admit that i was kind of late to the game when it comes to realizing how important a good mattress is years ago my friend had bought a really nice mattress and i think i asked something like what's the difference but man i know what the difference is now i have a lisa mattress and it's a game changer you spend so much of your life sleeping. And Lisa has a lineup of beautifully crafted mattresses tailored to how you sleep. Each one is designed with specific sleep positions and feel preferences in mind. You can fill out the quiz on their website and they'll tell you which mattress is perfect for you.

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17:32And I also need to be comfortable while I'm traveling. So I got this short sleeve knit button up that I wore for a lot of the shows and I love it. I also just wore it the other day to go out to dinner. It's made of 100 % organic cotton. So it also feels great. That's the deal with Quince. They make high quality essentials that feel and look great without charging luxury prices. So elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash songexploder for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. It's now available in Canada too. That's quince.com slash songexploder for free shipping and 365 day returns.

18:15quince.com slash songexploder. Song Exploder is supported by Her Private Hell, an official selection of the 2026 Cannes Film Festival. Her Private Hell is the newest film from Nicholas Winding Refn, director of Drive and the Neon Demon. It's been hailed by critics as a visually striking, hypnotic neo-noir. Starring Sophie Thatcher and Charles Melton, Her Private Hell opens in theaters everywhere July 24th.

18:45I feel like the second verse is really different from the first verse. Yeah, it's kind of like the bridge and the second verse, So it has like a whole different melody to it.

19:09Nat and Jules had come to Long Pond to Aaron Destner's studio with me for a couple of days. And we had like an amazing couple of days upstate. and Aaron would like have these amazing wines for us every night so we'd like all been making this like song to play Aaron to say thank you for having us and it was like Aaron Desna thank you for the good times and the sweet wine and that's how we get to the sweet wine and that's you know and then we're like oh pour another sweet wine so I'm like laughing at myself but that was a past like experience like kind of winding its way into the song.

19:52Oh yeah, that's us clicking our fingers. Was that Joel singing? Yeah, the track is playing in the back and he's, pour a little sweet wine. It brings such a smile to my face and it's such a great example of our process in the studio and why we kind of get along so well. musically as well as personally because like I just I love imperfection I love bleed I don't like things sounding so polished like I want to hear like actually what's happening in the room and there's like there's a magic going on in that room and there's not like a preciousness between all of us of like it has to be so perfect okay I have to ask you about this sound that's the dog that is the dog that is hilarious that you've picked that up because that is such a Jules-ism that he's put the dog in there it's their dog yeah it's it's Otto that's so funny their dog is the cutest dog in the world he's quite crazy as well and it's like a war between trying to record with things that Otto hasn't eaten that yeah that if Otto isn't barking is coming back to me now that he put that in there.

21:07I love it. It's like a percussion part. I love that you found that.

21:22The original intro was all on sitar, but at some point I was like, I think it's trumpets. so Jules was like layering it with Mellotron until we kind of like later had you know real trumpets put in

21:51Sam Ewans is an amazing brass and horn arranger and he's played the horns

22:01It kind of explodes at the end into this massive, triumphant outro. I remember just yelling into the microphone, like, So back! I'm back! And we were kind of all figuring that out at the end, and that was really fun.

22:30I'm back, I'm back in love again. I'm back, I'm back, I'm back in love again. I feel like this record was like a pull between like the person I was and like the new person that's like emerging. But this song I think was about knowing I got through something, feeling like I'd like reconnected with myself. it's like such a huge change having a child and like yeah i've been going through things that felt like very difficult but i feel like i'm good like the future feels like i'm excited about it so yeah i think it was like i wanted this song to be like a reclaiming and also joyful

23:28And now here's Back in Love by Suki Waterhouse in its entirety.

23:56Loneliness is a feather bird Eyes closed, sitting in silence Sleeping on the couch instead Whole life hanging by a thread Eyes closed, sitting in silence Shoot the apple off my head You choose sugar or violence Oh now you're talking to me I think you know what I need Oh, I'm loving my lust for life Turning the dark to light Happiness hits me when I'm back with love again Back to jazz on the radio Back to beaches, away we go Taking the long way on Back in love again.

25:04Oh, you're swinging too hardy in time. Pour a little sweet wine. You know it's been a hard day's time. Pour another sweet wine. Don't you run when I'm back in your arms again, baby. You've been talking my love language, baby, back to me All of the flowers and kisses you sent me See you catching up fast, now you know how to please me Oh, I'm loving my love for life Turned in the dark to light Happiness hits me when I'm back in love again Back to Jess on the radio Back to Beaches, away we go Taking the long way home Back in love again Back in love again Back in love again

26:24I'm back, I'm back I'm back in love again I'm back, I'm back I'm back in love again Back in love again

26:44To learn more, visit songexploder.net You'll find links to buy or stream Back in Love, and you can watch the music video. This episode was produced by me, Craig Ely, Mary Dolan, Kathleen Smith, and Tiger Biscuit. The episode artwork is by Carlos Lerma, and I made the show's theme music and logo. Song Exploder is a proud member of Radiotopia from PRX, a network of independent, listener-supported, artist-owned podcasts. You can learn more about our shows at radiotopia.fm. If you'd like to hear more from me, you can subscribe to my newsletter. You can find a link to it on the Song Exploder website.

27:22You can also get a Song Exploder shirt at songexploder.net slash shirt. I'm Rishikesh Hirwe. Thanks for listening.