Episode 164: Janette Manrara

0:04Hello, I'm Sophie Ellis-Bexter and welcome to Spinning Plates, the podcast where I speak to busy working working women who also happen to be mothers about how they make it work.

0:30other people balance everything. Welcome to Spinning Plates. Howdy, greetings from Oslo. I am on date, oh this will be 13, no hold on, 11 of 13. Just finishing up our weekend in Scandinavia. It's been so nice. Copenhagen on Friday, Stockholm last night and today we're in Oslo and actually the forecast here was pretty bad today and I've been wandering around for a good hour and a half and it's only just started raining so thank you Oslo for holding off that little bit longer. If I sound a bit bunged up it's because I've had really crappy cold this week but it doesn't matter I don't really talk about it because colds aren't very disco sparkly are they they're pretty crummy but what's amazing is that when I'm on stage I completely forget about it so all day I've been feeling a bit like you know that feeling just a bit a little bit rubbish version of myself a bit gross uh and then I get on stage and it's like oh feel all good again so thanks if you've been coming you've actually been cheering me up every day and it's to know that it can always weave its magic like that.

1:55And actually, I've definitely turned a tie, but today I'm feeling much better than I was for the last couple of days. Anyway, that is boring. Who cares about that? It's been so nice to wander around these cities. Gosh, I love... I mean, in Denmark, I was like, I could have definitely been born Danish and been really happy about it. It's just so nice. But that's also because we had a day off there and did loads of exploring. I went for a really nice meal and my mum was there with her friends. So Richard, Jack and I went out with mum and her friend Jan for supper and it was really good. So that really cheered me up as well.

2:32How nice. And then yesterday in Sweden I had a good old walk around. Did my usual vintage shops. One of them was so good I literally walked in and said to myself, oh no, like out loud. Because I thought, damn it, I'm going to definitely spend some money in here. uh I was pretty good though I've been trying so hard to be shopping a bit more carefully and actually you'd be proud of me because today in Oslo I've been in about four vintage shops and I found some really nice bits but I'm sort of realizing that I just won't use them as much as all that so well done me pathetic anyway never mind so this week's guest oh it's so sweet actually because I've been doing this podcast now for five years there's people I know who now had their first baby and then they're like even a couple of years in and I'm like oh goody we get to do a chat for the podcast how nice is that so massive love and thanks to Jeanette Manvara who is my guest this week because I'm so fond of Jeanette I met her when I did Strictly Come dancing.

3:43She's flipping ages ago now. Where are we? 12 years ago. And it was also Jeanette's first year. So quite sweetly, we both had the same first ever dance on the Strictly dance floor, which obviously for her, she was amazing and all professional. And for me, I was getting lots of it wrong. So not necessarily the same experience, but the same song, the same dance floor the same night. Jeanette is very, very lovely. She quickly became a pal during my experience, Strictly, because I found her to be, she's got real clarity of thought, she's really present with you, she's incredibly positive, she's really good at what she does, like mesmerizing on the dance floor, great choreographer.

4:31And I remember Richard and I quickly became friends with Aliash, Jeanette's husband, and Jeanette. And Richard was like, if I ever did Strictly, I'd want to dance with Jeanette. And I can totally see why. She's gorgeous in all ways. And so, yes, she has a baby with Aliash. They have a little girl called Lyra. I say baby, she's two now. So, you know, not really in the baby bit anymore, but it's a very small child. And I was always fascinated from the outside looking in. And I was so impressed with Jeanette's evolution of her career from strictly pro to being a presenter. She does lots of television.

5:13She's just finished doing a tour of Chicago, which we spoke about a lot in the podcast chat because it meant that she was away a fair bit. And there's my tour bus just walking past. And yeah, I was fascinated. Like, how did that feel for her? how did it feel to go from one thing to the other but also how do you do that like for so many of the strictly pros they are so linked into dance physical movement being the number one thing they do um and building a career beyond that that is complementary to that it's not a skill set that everybody's lucky enough to embrace develop enjoy um i also wonder what it's like as a dancer to go through pregnancy.

5:57So we speak about all of these things. But of course, that was just the tip of the iceberg because Jeanette is first generation US born of her Cuban immigrant parents and the whole Cuban community that came to Miami with her folks when they were only teenagers themselves. Anyway, Jeanette and I will share all this story in more detail. And it's just, it's one of those things where I was always admiring her but then you kind of she's sort of gone up again knowing her backstory and how much the odds are against you if you're that little dot in Miami to them building this livelihood for yourself in a foreign land uh super impressive all right uh enough from me uh I'll leave you with the absolutely infectious energy and positivity of Jeanette and I'll see you on the other side

6:58Jeanette, it's so lovely to see you. I was thinking that we, I think this is an unusual sentence, but we both shared the same first dance on Strictly because we had the group dance. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. And I remember I genuinely was. It was such a dream come true for me to get that job. And, you know, everybody talks about, I'm going to go straight in, Sophie. Everybody talks about the Strictly curse, right? But for Aliash and I, I've never heard of it. Yeah. Jesus, right? But it was such a blessing for us because Aliash and I were in a point in our relationship. We weren't engaged or anything.

7:30We were just dating. But we really, really wanted to be together. We had been together for a couple of years at that point, but we didn't live in the same place. I had a base, I would say, in LA. And he was in Slovenia. So we just thought, my gosh, like, how is this going to work? So when we both got Strictly, we moved in together. We started, like, a proper relationship. And then during Strictly, we ended up getting engaged and then we got married and now we became parents. So, yeah, Strictly has been kind of the best thing in the world. Yeah, it's been really integral to your experience as a couple.

8:02To everything. Yeah. So, yeah, the here and now. So, your daughter, Lyra, she's two. Yeah. She's a very sweet age. Yes. Very busy age. Busy. I'm exhausted. But, I mean, you would know that more than anyone. I still can't believe five kids. That is crazy. crazy but it's an interesting time actually because i've kind of my youngest being six i feel like the wheel has turned i have kind of started to mentally pack away those early years in terms of like that chapter is closed now whereas for so long yeah you know it's so visceral having that small person and waking up with a two-year-old and they hit the ground running don't they and they're like right what's today about let's do this let's play here let's talk about that there's so much going on all the time.

8:43Yeah. But it sounds like you've also got a lot going on with your work life simultaneously. Yeah. Where do you want to start? Oh my God. Well, I think firstly, when people ask me about kind of my thoughts on working and being a mom and the combination of the two things, my mom and my dad, they're immigrant Cubans and they came to Miami, I think it was in 1981 when they came and they had to go straight into work. So my dad got his high school diploma. But my mom didn't. She went straight kind of into the workforce. And then she felt pregnant with me when she was 18. She was a very young mom. And when I came into their lives, they both just, they had to work.

9:25They had to learn the way of a new country, learn a new language, find a job, raise a baby, all at the same time. So I was raised by women all around me working. My grandmother worked, my aunts worked, my mom worked. I never knew anything different than parents both going to work and providing for their families. So when it came to kind of my situation, I did in a way see how much my parents struggled financially and to raise three kids in a new country, working all the time and just barely making ends meet. So in a way, I kind of thought, I want my career to really like get somewhere before I become a parent.

10:03And then I quickly realized that that is absolute bollocks because there's no way there's ever a perfect time to have a child. It doesn't exist. And when COVID came, I realized I definitely want to be a mom and I don't want to wait any longer. You know, the clock was ticking. The biological clock was ticking. And then when I became a mom, I was really nervous because I thought, well, I'm a dancer. Like, how am I going to do this? My body is such a part of what I do. Yeah. You know what I mean? And oddly enough, It Takes Two came in. The year before I fell pregnant, I ended up getting It Takes Two.

10:36And I think it was, I'm very spiritual and I believe in like manifestation and just trusting the process and trusting the universe and just putting out there your intentions and hoping that it will bounce back in that big like yo-yo of life. And it did. So getting It Takes Two was the biggest and most wonderful blessing I've had in my life in the last few years because it meant I could be a mom and still have a career and still work. But of course, Alphabet Takes Two ended up getting pregnant, which is great. And the first year that Lyra was in our lives, it was nice and slow. We really enjoyed her at home.

11:10But the second year, this year just passed, I ended up getting the dream job that I've been wanting since I was basically a teenager, which was to play Roxy Hart in Chicago. And when they said to me, oh, it's six months, I thought, how am I going to be away from a one and a half year old for six months and only see her once a week, sometimes not even go two weeks without seeing her. And all of it fell on Aliash. And that's when I realized like, because I have him, it is possible because I have his support because he's such a good dad and such a good husband. And we really are doing it together.

11:45Like we now have passed the baton because now he's, well, he's passed the baton back to me because now he's on Strictly. And even though I'm doing It Takes Two, it's only a couple of days a week so I can be mom the rest of the time. But I found that having him made the biggest difference into whether or not I could have a career and still be a mother because he really was my teammate. Like we really were doing it together. And he didn't mind staying home and changing nappies and feeding and doing bedtime and doing all that. I've heard him talk about it. He's been like his absolute joy for a long time.

12:15So sweet. And he really was the rock. He really was the one that like made me feel like I can be a great mother and still have a career if it wasn't for him being in the picture. Obviously, you know, my mother and his mother as well, but they don't live here. So we've got, childcare is expensive. And so we get support from them as much as we possibly can. And they do. My mom was just here for three weeks because for the last three weeks of my Chicago tour, Aliash had already started Strictly, so he couldn't be with Lyra. So mom came over and then Aliash's mom came for a couple of weeks after that.

12:50So they literally swapped, like, again, pass the baton, your turn now to look after her while mom is away. But I think the network, the support network is what makes the biggest difference. I would totally agree. If you're on your own, it's impossible. And, you know, when they try and say that women can do it all, you can't on your own. You need support. You need help. And I've just been very lucky that even though I don't have family around the corner, I have a husband at least that just totally gets it and he wants to be my biggest champion, which is awesome. That is really awesome. And you're so right that, you know, when you can really feel lifted up and supported in that way, it's an extraordinarily special and privileged position because it's interesting hearing you talk about it on my first visit, a lot of things, you know, I was so fascinated to hear about your parents and yeah, the idea of these two people coming so they must have been in their mid-teens when they went to Miami.

13:44I actually went to Little Havana and Miami this year. What an incredible place. So picturing Little Jeanette and, you know, I heard you speak about the excitement in your family, this, you know, Cuban community and like, oh, a little American is here, a little American girl. That's like, that's a real kind of, you know, moment that echoes out to the family, like symbolizes more than just a new life, but the whole new lives of all of you in this new chapter. So that's exciting, but also significant. But then I think sometimes, you know, when you have generationally parents, you know, you see your mum working, your aunties your grandparents but sometimes um I sometimes even now have wobbles about my work because even though I was raised by a very ambitious professional sure-footed mother my mom was always very pragmatic about her mothering she was always very available to me we're very close but she also was quite to my mind anyway unapologetic about the role that work meant what it meant to her what it symbolized and how important it was to her in a way that was great for me as a kid because I didn't question it but as a as the child for that sometimes I still have wobbles of like what am I doing here what's the is this the right decision I'm making and I think sometimes as well when you get opportunities it's all it's one thing to have the kids taken care of so they don't I don't need to feel guilty about them in their world but sometimes I still feel like am I missing things out for myself so if you have the wobble when you're doing your the start of your six months as Roxy, which by the way is so flipping cool.

15:24What's the thing you would tell yourself? What do you tell yourself in those moments? Do you know what? I could almost cry now thinking about it because I had some really tough nights, really tough nights because she was, sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry tonight. It's okay, it's okay. It's good, you know, it's good to know things out. And I, by the way, I literally had a cry about a very similar thing only like three nights ago because I was looking at my diary and I was thinking, I love what I do. I've been building what I do. But what do I really want? Like, what is the big piece of here?

15:55It's quite hard sometimes when you look at it like that because you're like, I don't really always know. Yeah. And that's just being completely honest. It was hard because I think Lyra was so little. I don't know if she'll know any of the difference anyway. She'll never remember it. She won't remember it, you know. And I was coming home literally every single chance I had, I'd come home. Or there were some weeks that like my mom and Lyra would come with me so I can be with her at least during the day before I had shows in the evening. But then that was really tough because I was so exhausted all the time because I was doing shows in the evening and then trying to be her mother in the day.

16:28So then I was hanging out with her and spending time with her, but not really fully there because I was so exhausted. I just wasn't sleeping. So I kept beating myself up going, I can't be in two places at the same time. It's just impossible. I think for me, what got me through it is knowing that there was an end, number one that I wasn't going to be doing this for three years I'm only doing this for six months and then number two that she isn't really going to remember it you know she's not going to think to herself mommy wasn't here for me these couple days you know and I'm I think knowing she was with Aliash knowing she was with her my mother knowing that she was with her other grandmother knowing that she's spending quality time with people that she wouldn't normally get to spend time with because they don't live here that kind of helped me piece it out a little bit because I thought she can't go and visit Henan on the weekends because they don't live here.

17:16So this is a really wonderful time for them to spend time together. But I just felt really kind of torn all the time because I also felt selfish because I thought, why am I doing this? Like, why am I playing Roxy Hart? It's not going to do anything for Lyra. It's only doing something for me because it's a dream come true for me. But then at the same time, I was providing for my family because Aliash wasn't working. And as you know, as a creative, both of us are creatives, Aliash and I, we both are in the creative field. And when work comes in, it's really hard to say no because you just don't know when the next one's going to be there.

17:48So I thought I've got to do this because I want to be able to be there for her next year, let's say. So next year, I'm definitely not doing any six-month tour or anything like that. So I can be there with her. But I can do that now because I did take these six months to do that. And in my brain, I created this mathematical formula that I do. Okay, maybe I do like one year on, one year off, one year on, one year off just to like survive as a family. But it was really, really tough. And I think I was very open on my socials. I posted a few videos of me being honest and crying about it because I think it's nice for parents, not just moms, because men go through it as well, for parents to just know that they're really not alone when you just miss your kids.

18:29You know you're doing the right thing because you're providing for them and you're doing, you know, you're chasing your dreams at the same time. So you're setting an example of like, look, mommy worked really hard towards what she wanted and she helped in the financial space of the house too. But that doesn't change my bond. That doesn't change the fact that I wish I could have been with her every single day as well. It was really, honestly, like a yo-yo of feelings. I was up and down all the time. But I got really lucky because the woman that played Velma on the show with me, she's a mom. And she's got a seven-year-old little girl.

19:03Her name is Bailey, which is incredible. But she's a musical theater, like, megastar. She's done musicals kind of her whole life. And she did a year contract, a whole year on tour as Velma Kelly, while her little girl and her husband, Johnny, were at home. And she was honestly such a rock for me because we were really just there for each other. And that sense of community, like this podcast, that sense of community helped me also get through it a bit. Because I can go to her and she would understand as a mother, like what it was when you just miss your baby and you just want to be home. And also the absolute solidarity of someone saying, they won't remember this.

19:39This is significant to you. It's okay. It's okay to be doing this. And I totally relate as well to that flip-flop of emotions because you'll have the days where you're on tour and you're in a strange city and it's, you know, it's nice. You can go and fill your day with nice things, but you're feeling a bit like, ah, that's when all the thoughts come in and I'm not home and I'm missing this day and this is another. Oh, look, there's a lovely pit. They look really happy at that farm. but I should be at that farm. So it's that mixed feeling. But then when the show starts, it's magic in a different way.

20:13It gives you everything you need. And there's always a moment where I'm like, this is why I made this decision. And it's like such a connection with myself that I know I need that. So when you're on stage, what do you get from that? Well, that's the thing. I feel personally I'm a good mother to Lyra because I'm happy with myself. I don't think I could be a good mom if I wasn't happy with who I am. You can't be completely selfless because then you end up kind of resenting in a way that you gave up your life to do that. And some mothers are the opposite. Some mothers, that's all they live for is their children.

20:53But in my case, I need to perform. I need to be on stage. It's such a part of who I am as a human being. And I just don't think I would be a good mother to her if I wasn't doing what I do on stage. Because it fulfills me in a very different way than being her mother fulfills me as well. So when I remember vividly, we were in Glasgow doing, it was our second to last week on tour. And Glasgow audiences, as I'm sure you know, they go wild. They're like the loudest group of people ever. and normally when you're doing a theater show it's quite like calm and quiet and they applaud at the end you know it's quiet about the show it's very proper but Chicago and Glasgow that didn't matter it was like a concert like every night so when I came out on the Saturday night with DJ who played Velma we did our big end finale piece to nowadays into Hot Honey Rag the roar, the cheer the kind of buzz that I got And I remember DJ and I both looked at each other.

21:56Literally, we were sat in the box. At the end of the show, we go down on this lift and we have to sit in the box and wait for the curtain to go down before we can actually get out. We were sat in the box and we were both looking at each other as moms going, that's why we do it. Like that magic that you just cannot, you can't explain that feeling. You can't explain those words. When you, it's in terms of like science, it's called the complete flow state, which is where your mind, it's almost meditative. You're not existing in the normal reality of time. you're existing in flow state, which means your only thoughts and your only presence exists in that here and now.

22:31Which is such a privilege, isn't it? And it is a privilege because not a lot of people get to feel flow state. And when you feel it once, it's like you don't want to let it go. It's so addictive. It's too magical. It's too special. And same as you, I'm sure, when you're on stage and you're performing, for me, that connection that somebody is feeling something from watching me doing what I do, whether it's loving a certain song that I'm singing or loving a certain dance that I did or acting out a scene that reminds them of a moment in their past situations and they resonate with it and they connect to it.

23:04We are providing escapism and joy for people and nostalgia even. If you come watch Chicago and you're a mega fan of Chicago and you've seen it many times you come back and you watch Chicago and you're like, oh my God, I love this show because of the da da da da da. And we get to do that for people. So it feels quite like, sorry if I sound spiritual, but I feel like quite healing for them, for me. It's such a relationship between us. Your preachings are converted with all of this. It's a dialogue and it's an exchange of energy. And that's what's so special about live experiences. Yes, exactly. And I feel very assured by that because I think that's part of, as humans, we are kind of pack animals.

23:42We respond to that community feeling and exchanging that. And the way it feels, you can have it when you're in the audience and you just feel like, this has been that moment. And, you know, like even talking about it makes me get a bit tingly because it's such a special part of what makes me feel recalibrated. But also it's like, as you mentioned about flow state, it's like the time sort of fades back and sometimes you feel connected to all these different versions of yourself, like a little strand. And it's lovely to hear that you still feel so connected to dance, actually, because it's not a given.

24:17When I was doing Strictly, How We Lare... You were great, by the way. You were at that Charleston, honestly, especially. When you came out and did that Charleston, all of us judged. I mean, every number you did was beautiful. But there was something about that Charleston, you in that cold dress that I was just like, it's iconic. I actually thought I was going to get, I thought maybe I'd done something a bit daft because there was a move where I kind of popped up through Brendan's legs. Yeah, but it was great. I'm not quite sure how this reads on TV. Oh, it was such a great one. But what I mean, look, you're such an incredible dancer, Jeanette, honestly.

24:54Oh, thank you. Like, dancer and choreographer. Just absolutely mesmerizing. I was blown away when I realized I didn't start dancing until, you know. Yeah, much later. Much later. Because most of the pros I spoke to at that time, and I know for Brendan, he started dancing very small. And his relationship with dancing was actually a little bit complicated. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like being an athlete. So he, you know, it's something he trained for, he could do. but didn't always feel the euphoria you know not that sort of almost quite child like I've just like I love it which you know I suppose that happens to people in all fields actually you can have I don't know a concert violinist who's been sort of done it by rote and then doesn't really feel like this is the defining part but what was can I just ask you a little bit about that what happened to get you into something how do you get how do you become so flipping good at it so quickly honestly I think it's in the blood I'm Cuban we just love to dance.

25:49Did you dance like with your family? Yeah, we make jokes that I started to do the salsa as soon as I was able to walk basically. They were coming out because my dad my uncles all my aunts my mom my grandma everyone in my family dances. So it's just I mean Cubans invented the cha-cha-cha and the Roomba which are two obviously mega dancers on Strictly. So music and dancing was just I just grew up with it. Like my dad has a beautiful singing voice and he's like I always say dad you're a frustrated like ballad singer because he still sends me songs still I got one two weeks ago he still records songs in his this tiny cupboard that he has at home he locks himself in there and he sings songs and sends them to me because he just loves to sing he feels his flow state in the cupboard like singing the songs anyway but he they are very like my dad loved music and my mom was a synchronized swimmer or artistic swimmer which is the new I think that's the new name for it now That's so cool.

26:47And so I think these both... I should have her on the podcast. Yeah, she's so cool, my mom. A synchronized swimmer. My mom is a lunatic, which explains a lot about me. But we're best friends. We really are best friends. So because dad kind of was artsy, mom was a synchronized swimmer. I grew up in a house where any reason to throw a party and play music and dance, we just did it. Oh, the sun's out. Let's have a party. Like, it was literally like that. Sounds idyllic. So it was really... And also like a little bit unhinged in a good way. Yeah. Because they were so young. They were so young. So at the time, it was like, I remember the Bee Gees were the thing.

27:21I grew up listening to Donna Summers, the Bee Gees, Barbra Streisand. Anyway, it was just music was on. Music was on. And I make the joke that Michael Jackson's best album came the year that I was born, which was Thriller in 1983. That album was on all the time in the house. So I grew up with music and dancing all the time anyway. And then I was a performer since I can remember. My mom sent me a video of when I was three years old and we were on holiday. We didn't have a lot, like I said. So we would go once a year to Disney because it was easy. It was just three and a half hour driving back. Or we'd go to this little island on the west coast of Florida called Marco Island.

28:00And there's a video of me in Marco Island when I was three years old. All my aunts and uncles, mind you, they're all young. They're all like in their early 20s. Mom and dad are like 21 maybe. I don't even know how old. and I'm just performing and putting on a show and dancing and like smiling and looking at everyone in the eye like yeah you're all looking at me great this is fantastic and because I was like the American dream like you said all eyes were on me with the whole family like they all just was hoping that I can make any dream come true so my parents from a very very very young age never forced me to do anything that I didn't want to do.

28:37You know, again, there's no right or wrong way to parent, but they didn't tell me, you have to get a degree in university in order to survive. You know, they were very much like, if you want to dance and you want to perform, how and what can we do to make that happen? So they didn't have money to put me in ballet classes because it was expensive. They couldn't put me. I did ballet really for about six months when I was five. And then it just got expensive. I have a very similar ballet career. Yeah. I remember my mom, there's a video of it somewhere. I'm pretty sure I've posted it online. Of me in my first ever ballet class.

29:11My mom didn't have the money to buy me a leotard and tights and shoes. So I'm in the ballet class, which kind of fast forward to what I am like as a person, as an adult. All the girls were in a black leotard with pink tights and pink ballet shoes. I was in a bright pink and white polka dot bathing suit with nude tights and no shoes on. Because it's just what we had at home. So it's the funniest video in the world because it's just all these perfect little girls and then me in this pink polka dot bathing suit. But they couldn't afford it. So I had one recital and then I didn't go back. And then when I was 12, there was an audition for like a talent thing for kids on a Spanish TV show.

29:54Mom took me to the audition and I got it. I got to be in the TV show and do it. And then the woman that did the TV segment said to my mom, your daughter has a natural talent. Like she's a performer. Like, can I put her, she had a musical theater program. She goes, we've got a musical theater program. It's associated with the TV show. Do you want to put her in? And my mom was like, I can't afford paying for it. So they gave me like a scholarship to do it. And that meant that every couple of weeks, I'd be on telly performing musical theater numbers or dancing or talking or doing something as a kid with all these kids that were part of that program.

30:30and I did that all the way up till I was about 18 but it was mostly singing and acting. So it was like, I remember there was a segment where the TV host would just sit and talk to the kids, us, about like very adult things. Like, how do you, where do you go grocery shopping and what kind of things do you buy at the shop when you go? And you just make up. I was so creative. I was like, my imagination was huge. I just like make stuff up and have like, just say anything that came out of my mouth and they loved all that. So at 18, I feel like I'm talking a lot, but. No, no. It's actually fascinating.

31:01I love it. I've got so many images in my head. Oh, God. When I was 18, I was all too old to be a part of the program because it was a kid's program. Although at 18, I still looked like I was 12 in a lot of ways. But then the gentleman that was doing kind of the dance part of the program was like, I think you can really dance and you should take dance seriously. At the time, I was only doing dancing two hours a week. So it wasn't like really the biggest part. I mean, you must have had clear ability. Yeah, I think he, and he saw it in me. Incredible. My dance teacher, Manuel Castro. And he opened up a dance school.

31:37Him and his wife opened up a dance school. So I was 18. And I started going then. At that time, I had to get a job because my mom and my dad had my brother and my sister as well. And they couldn't kind of afford for my lifestyle. I was an adult now. So I got a job. I worked in a bank, nine to five. And I had a full scholarship to any university in the state of Florida. So I graduated top of my class in high school because my parents were always like, we love you and you're very smart, but we don't have the money to pay for university. So if you want to go to one, you're going to have to get a scholarship because we just can't afford paying for it.

32:10So I had that drilled in my head since I was very, very young. And I was such a geek. I was such a good student, always top of my class, always honors, always just really on it because I had this thing like, oh, I want to go to university. And if I want to, I'm going to have to get it through scholarship. so I was going to university at the time working at the bank and that's when the dance career kind of started I mean it's bizarre because you think you have a 9 to 5 job I'm going to university three times a week basically in the evenings after I work and then every other spare hour of my week including about six hours on the Saturday I would be in the dance studio so I had zero social life but you're meeting people all the time I was so fulfilled you felt so alive when you were Yeah.

32:55And in a way, going to the dance classes was therapy because if I was stressed from work or if I was stressed with exams or something going on at uni or whatever, going to dance was like the biggest kind of release. And I think in a way, helped me become an artist, if you can call it that, because I learned to channel feelings and emotions through movement, which made it more artistic and less kind of technical. Yeah, and storytelling. Yeah. Bringing out the emotion. And that, I think, was the stem of my ability to really, what's the word I'm looking for? Show feeling, show expression, and be more of a storyteller through movement than just competitive.

33:39And it also probably meant that it's kept a kernel of dance as something that's actually selfishly gives you what you need. Yeah, it's genuinely therapy. That way you can sustain your work because there'll be a part of you that when you're in that moment can connect with that as well. Yes. And if you're satisfied by that, if that's nurturing you, the rest of it sort of falls away for those moments. And you get to leave the stage with that bit more fulfillment. That's exactly right. It's such a nice feeling. Yeah. It's like a little part of you is like crystallized, you know? Yeah. I think that the idea that I never did it competitively is what kind of made my euphoria when I got a job like Strictly so much nicer.

34:25Because in a lot of ways, I almost feel for like even Ali Ash or Brendan or any of the pros that had a competitive career. Because technically, they're much stronger than I am. I'll be 100 % honest. Like they knew the technique of Bormen Latin much, much better than I did. Because I came into Bormen Latin through theater. I never competed. I learnt it because I had a natural ability for it and Jason Gilkisson and Peter Roby who did burn the floor kind of took me under their wing and were like we're going to show you the ropes of Borm and Latin so I learnt it more from a storytelling perspective than a competitive perspective that makes sense and so probably why I never won strictly because I was not competitive at all I didn't know you had won oh yeah they get I mean the competitive element I was like but in their defence they just don't know any better of course they don't know any better And also that presumably that means that there's an expectation because the whole family, when they're young, are behind it and they'll say, I know you don't feel like it, but you've got this today.

35:21So sometimes they'll have an association with the dancing has been a bit of a, this is the thing, the idea. And if you've been allowed to explore it and find it, you know, you were working in a bank, you're doing a job. So was there a moment, sorry, we will talk about parenthood at some point, but I am fascinated. Was there a moment where you had to make a real decision or did dance just kind of scoop you up? No, there was. I remember I auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance the first year round. And I got all the way to the final and then didn't get it. And I was absolutely heartbroken because at the time I was 23, I think.

36:00And I thought this is my last chance to actually have any chance of ever making a career from dance. You know, it's from a reality TV show that just gives you the wings to fly. You know, because what 23 year old that's only been dancing really professionally for about four years? And I wasn't even dancing professionally, if I think about it, because I was working at a bank. That was my job. According to your bank manager, your boss. Yeah. So I thought, no one's going to give me a job. I'm never going to have a career in dance. I started too late. It's just going to be impossible. So the only chance I had was to get on something like So You Think You Can Dance to put me out.

36:32Yeah, to make it a professional pursuit. So that first year that I went, I went all the way to the final and I didn't get it. And I was absolutely destroyed because I thought, that was it. That was it. and I was already starting to try and come to terms with, all right, well, dance will always be a part of my life, but it won't be my career. I'll just do it like extracurricularly to release, you know, whatever I want to release that I'm feeling inside. And then the next year came around, they approached me and they said, we'd love for you to audition again. And I thought, well, if they're approaching me, either they want really good telly to tell me no twice or I've got a chance.

37:07But I thought I'll take the risk and just see what happens. and my family was really supportive because I almost said no and my mom and my dad were like, but what if they say yes? Like, just see. You know what I mean? So I did and I got it the second time around and it was the most, I was the most annoying competitor ever because I was just so happy to be there. I was like a competition winner. So already, I didn't care about the competition. I was just so thrilled that I was in LA doing a TV show only about dancing, getting to learn from all these different choreographers of all these different styles of dance.

37:40So for me, I didn't care about winning. I just cared about staying in long enough so that I could learn more and like gain more information on different styles. Ended up doing really well on the show. Went on tour with the show across the US for three months. And when that finished, my boss from the bank, her name was Janet. We love Janet. She calls me and she says, oh my God, we watched you on the show. Well done. My kids and my family and I, we went to watch you when you were, I mean, I performed in the Miami arena. And I just remember coming on stage with So You Think You Can Dance in the Miami arena, where I've gone to go and see megastars before that, going, am I actually dancing and the star in Miami?

38:20So it was like just the craziest. Yeah, that's mind blowing. Your family must have been like. Oh my God. There was a massive poster with my face. Like it was just mad. And then I thought, oh gosh, but it's over now because that's it. So you think happened. The tour happened. then my boss calls me Janet and she's like so your position is still there we'd love to have you back and at this point believe it or not I had moved up really quickly in the career ladder so at that time I was the assistant manager for the national I'm actually not surprised Loan Services Department of the Bank I could tell you all about home mortgages and loans and business loans because that was my job I did all the paperwork for that by the way having good financial savvy is a very very good life skill yeah so if we can talk about you can give me some advice I'll give you some advice later I love a spreadsheet.

39:05I'll tell you that. Oh, wow. So, Alayash makes a joke all the time. He's like, I married a banker who also loves to dance. It's a perfect combination. It is actually the perfect combination. But also a detriment, but we can talk about that later. So, she called me and she said, you've got the job still if you want to come back. And it was a really tricky decision because at that time, that job meant financial stability. It meant a retirement plan. It meant health insurance. it just meant stability and I could have at that point because I was 24 I think now been like okay I've done the dance thing I've done So You Think I've toured the US I've got that bug you know done I should go back and do the pragmatic logical thing and get a great job and find stability and my parents they came in and they were like what do you really want and I said honestly in my heart I want to dance like if I could dance every day I would just be the happiest person in the world and they said, we'll do that.

40:04Have you saved up enough money from the tour? I already love your parents. Oh, they're honestly. And I said, yeah, I've saved up money from tour because I knew that if I saved it, I can then decide easier. And even if I didn't go back to dance, I can use that money towards a house or something. Again, financially pragmatic. I know, I get it. But there's pragmatism along the way, all the way, actually. There's always a bit of that. I think that's probably been a bigger, most significant part of your foundation because you've obviously like good at like giving yourself like the sort of practical backup but then allowing yourself to let the energy to lead you.

40:42Yeah. And I think you've been able to have real freedom with that because you've also planned your… Yeah, it's always plan B. It's always a plan B. Yeah, but that's actually like not everybody has that duality running all the time. I think that, again, it stems from just watching the hardship that my parents went through and I thought I don't want to have that for myself. I'm not really having anyone who can scoop you up and say, don't worry, it'll be all right. Like it's on you, isn't it? It really is on me. But they said, they were the ones that said it. So I did. And that was like, what do you call sliding doors moment in my life?

41:10Well, I said to my boss, Janet, I love you and I love everyone there. But I think I'm going to give this dance dream a go. So I took all the money that I had saved, moved out to LA and just saw what happened. And that was the biggest, best, most powerful decision besides becoming a mother that I think I have ever made in my life. because that's what changed everything. That's when like my career really shifted into what it is now. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's incredible really because I think, I mean, look, getting to live the life that you have created for yourself is always, you know, a bit against the odds, but there's been so many things that have led up to this moment.

41:50Actually, what you've achieved was already impressive, but now it's sort of like next level, I think, because not everybody can relate to all of those roots and the unlikelihood, the sheer unlikelihood of, you know, if it all lining up and being able to, obviously, you know, have the professionalism and the ability to back up the opportunity to put in front of you to get to the next thing. It's an extraordinary thing to be a professional dancer that ends up moving into broadcast and presenting. Yeah. Like, honestly. I still pinch myself. I still can't believe I'm doing this. Well, obviously, it's testament to your talent, but it's also, like, really worth taking my invisible hat off to.

42:26Thanks. Because it's super impressive. and i think again going back to that athlete mentality i know and for a lot of people where they've been so um where their their work is so inherent with their physicality physical prowess and also a competitive streak there's sometimes um a bit of a like a cliff they have to like then come off the edge of because that's not like literally like necessarily going to be how you live forever and what the next chapter so being able to like evolve it and shape it so those things can run alongside is really special. I mean, I think people are afraid of not being good at things.

43:02Yeah, that's true. And I'm very much like, I've never been the best in the room at anything. And I find that the most powerful position to be in. I say that exact same thing. I'm never the most talented person. I'm never the most talented in the room, but I am the hardest working and I am the most curious. I just want to learn and I just want to get better at whatever it is that I'm doing. I just want to get better at it. If you feel like you're the best in the room then we're there's no room to grow there's no room to go anywhere and that's always kind of been part of my journey not intentionally just because of the circumstances of my childhood where I grew up the the struggles my parents went through in life and you know raising three kids with minimal minimal minimal I remember I had the same pair of jeans for quite a few years my mom just kept like ripping them and fixing them so that they would end up fitting or the same person It's just, those are the things that like make me feel humbled, number one.

43:51And two, like it's okay to not be at the top because being at the top, I find almost boring, do I say. Because then where do you go from there? That's when you want to jump off the cliff because you've reached the top and then you feel too much pressure. You feel too much like to be perfect. And I like growing. I don't know. Like even now, when I started doing Strictly and I got onto the show, maybe it's the pragmatic side of me where I was always kind of thinking plan B. And I just remember joining Strictly in 2013 with you that year and thinking, oh my God, this is huge. This is like the biggest TV show in this country.

44:27I was nervous. There was a lot of hardships. I had mega imposter syndrome. There was a lot going on. But also in the midst of that, I thought, right, if this doesn't work out, what can I do with this? What can be the next thing? And because I'd been working in television since I was 12, I actually used to do TV production in high school. In high school where I studied, I used to do the morning announcements. So I would be the one on telly every morning in school, telling, giving everybody the news of the day, which is like the high school gazette stuff. You know what I mean? Cool. And so I'd been able to see that in movies.

44:58So that sounds very glamorous. Yeah. But so I knew that I wanted to stay in television. So even from year 2013, I thought, right, I need to like now tackle my presenting abilities. Like, how can I make it better? So since that year, I was doing small little YouTube videos, filming backstage, like asking people questions. I was doing YouTube when YouTube wasn't even a thing. But not for any other reason than to grow, not to gain a following or get subscribers. It was more to like watch myself back and see what people thought that did watch it. And I did that for many, many years with this thought in my head, like strictly can be taken away from me any day.

45:36There's no guarantee as a professional that you'll come back. you do yearly contracts and it just depends on whether or not they offer you the job so I didn't want to be in a position that I didn't have something in the background ready to go in case it didn't happen and that's kind of when then the broadcasting thing came in because I really channeled and maybe manifested and put that out into the world by just being a student of it and being open to it and I remember when It Takes Two happened Zoe Ball announced that she was leaving and at that point I had done a couple of like VTs and things for It Takes Two.

46:10And I was always saying to the team, use me because I want to get better. And I want to learn presenting more and never to take a job, but just to like get better at the craft of it. And Zoe Ball, when I messaged her, I said, no one is ever going to be able to fill your shoes. I said, you're just the best and I'm going to miss you so much. And she wrote back, it should be you taking over. And I remember going, as if they would never give it to me. But what an amazing thing if they ever did. Yeah, what a nice thing for her to say that to you. And then they did. And then the producers called me and they gave it to me.

46:41Actually, funny story. My dad, obviously my biggest fan with my mom, they loved It Takes Two and they absolutely adored Zoe. And if they came to visit, they always wanted to say hi or see her or something because they adored her so much. So when she left, my dad sent me a message going, I'm going to stop watching it now because who's going to take over if there's going to be any better than Zoe? Like, come on. She's the best of the best. I can't believe she's leaving. And so when I got the job, I was like, Dad, I don't know how you're going to feel about this. And he's like, what? And I was like, I know who the next person is.

47:12And he was like, oh, it's not going to be as good as it. Go on, hit me. And I was like, well, it's me. Wow. The only person who could possibly be worthy of this time after that. But yeah, I think, you know, working in the background and now even with Chicago, same thing. Like I wanted to go back to my musical theater roots. I hadn't done singing and acting since I was a kid, really. when I was doing all that musical theater stuff. So again, I went into the musical not being the best on stage. I wasn't the best actress or the best singer. And I just thought, I like being in that space. I like being in a room, being able to grow.

47:47And the energy of being around all those people always feels good, doesn't it? I just soak it in. Yeah, me too. I really soak it in. Like the sort of busyness of it. I love that feeling as well. So, I mean, I think there's a lot of these qualities I'd imagine you'd want Lyra to inherit. because I think that I talk to my kids as well about that thing of be open to things, continue learning, don't complain, you know, do the work, be open to ideas, be open to opportunities and the rest will follow. You'll kind of find yourself heading towards something. So I think that's something I'd imagine you'd like for her.

48:21But for yourself, if, you know, following this energy and having all these different adventures in your life has become so intrinsic to what makes your heart beat faster. Was there any trepidation about what it would mean in the punctuation mark to take on motherhood? Because I know I was quite nervous about it affecting my ambition. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Yeah, no, it did, definitely. But I think like COVID was just the one that changed everything for me. Of course, it's a different landscape, isn't it? Yeah, I don't know. And I can't believe I'm going to say this out loud. I don't know if I would have been a mother if COVID wouldn't have hit.

49:02Because COVID, that's when I took my well-being course and I got my well-being certification and all that. Because it hit and Aliash and I were, theater is our world. Performing is, as you know, it's the same. It's what we do. But I couldn't really put on a show in my living room with Aliash. We did try, but it wasn't the same. but I just really went through a lot of personal I did the work is what I call on myself to really find who am I if I'm not on stage who am I as a human being and as a person and I did a lot of reflecting and I did a lot of deep thoughts and I'm so grateful I know it was a really tough time and really scary time for everyone but in a bizarre way I'm so grateful that it happened because it taught me a lot about me that I didn't even know was in there.

49:55And that's when motherhood really hit because I just thought, I knew I someday wanted to be a mom, but work was always taking over. And I was like, no, but I've got this, but I've got this, but I've got that. And I can't do that. And you know when you kind of prepped your mom that that might happen? I had the conversation with my mother and it killed her. I said to her mom, I don't know if I'm going to be a mom. And it killed her because she loves children and she's the most incredible grandmother. But I just said, I don't know if I want to be a mom. I think I'm so, I so love what I do. And I so love my job that I don't know if I can give that up to be a mother.

50:31And in that time, I did not think it was going to be possible at all to do what I do and be a mother. I just couldn't see it happening. And then COVID happened. And I discovered this whole, I don't know how to explain it. This whole other side of me that was kind of always in there. but I never really channeled it or listened to it or understood it. And it did. It changed me a lot. A lot of my friends were even like, you're a different person when COVID came out, but in the best way. But it's not a different Jeanette, but like a different version of Jeanette. And that's when I decided if I am going to be a mother, now is the time because I'm open to it now.

51:11I'm ready for it now. And if the world ends, at least I know that I'll have given motherhood a go because it's something that I did want to try and do. But I went into it absolutely panicked, not knowing what to expect. And I think even when Lyra was first born, I had these blinds on like, no, no, no, life is normal. I can carry on. I can carry on as usual. And I tried to force myself to still be the Jeanette that I was before I was a mom versus now Jeanette as a mom. And now that she's two years old, I would say in the last, definitely in the last year, I've discovered I don't ever want to be that Jeanette again.

51:47I don't want to be the Jeanette that I was before Lyra because the Jeanette after Lyra is a mother. And being a mother makes me feel more powerful than anything I've ever done in my life. And it's that feeling of, I don't know how to explain it. It's very magical, I think, for me at least. Magical to become a mom. Because I look at her and even though she's only two, I already see her as an adult. It's very weird. I look into her eyes or she's sleeping and I'm thinking, God, when she's 20 years old, she's not going to lay down like this next to me. I wonder what she's going to like, what she's going to be into.

52:21I just want her to be a good human, a good person. I want her to help her community and just be kind and be loving and be curious and be adventurous. And that excites me on a level to know that I have some kind of strength and ability to shape the future of what human beings can be like. And that's powerful. I don't know. I find it really powerful. That's gorgeous. But it was very scary. It was very scary. But then as soon as she came, I mean, it was just the best thing in the world. Everything changed in the best way. But it's a bit curious. So it's interesting to me. I mean, like, I kind of feel like, sheesh, I feel like I need another lockdown so that I do the work on myself.

53:02Because I just kind of just try to. You had kids. I was on my own. So it's a bit easier. You had lockdown with children. That is another level. That was very stressful. you know yeah busy but i think the bit i'm interested when you were saying about because obviously we've spoken about the way that you know and i can only relate i can relate to it very hard on this you know where you spoke about dance and what it gave you and the tonic and the sort of the sort of soul balm is exactly how i feel about music as well like it does that for me and performing so you know you talked about the flow state and what you get from that moment when you're on stage and I think I'd really taken it for granted until you know world goes quiet but I didn't really I just tried to find it somewhere else but what you know broadly speaking what was the thing that you took out of that that was significant in this shift I kind of want to know a little bit more about that well the the work that I do myself really honestly changed my perspective on so many things in life.

54:06Because I remember there was a moment where we were just coming out of COVID. We were just starting to do things. And I had just kind of taken the course. And I got offered a job. And then I got offered another job. And they both kind of came in at the same time. And I really wanted to do both because obviously, things were just starting to come back and I was going to try and find a way to do both. And then I ended up losing both because of just circumstances with COVID and this, like just like things happened that I couldn't, ended up not doing both. And I remember there was a moment where I thought to myself, the old part, the old person that I was would want to control the situation.

54:49Whereas at that point I thought, I'm just going to let it go. I'm just going to let it go and trust the process, trust the universe, Trust that like what will come to me will come to me and I just have to be open and ready to accept it when it does. And bizarrely enough, the moment I shifted that mentality of trying to control every aspect of my life to the inch of it, when I let that go, I felt like everything changed. And I think now as a mother, I take that on board as a mother. I was going to say that's a great skill. Yeah. because my other mom friends look at me and they're like, my God, you're so chill.

55:27And I was like, well, because she's herself. I'm not trying to create a replica of me. I'm not controlling her. I'm letting her discover the world in her ways and I'm just kind of guiding her through it. And the same happened with just my career. I kind of stopped trying to force the jobs that I wanted to happen and just kind of threw my arms up in the air and said, what will be, will be. And if I just work hard and put intentional things, I do the jobs and do the little things that are intentional towards what I really want to do someday, then the right things will align and plan out. But that ability to just let go of the control of my life that I kind of had, like you said so beautifully, you were very pragmatic.

56:07There was always a plan. If this didn't work, well, that was there. I learned that even if you can have plan A, B, C, D, E, F, G, things happen and they can go out the window. And that was the biggest shift for me internally where now I just let things go. And I don't really like hold on or try and, you know, put puzzle pieces together. The only puzzle piece I do put together is childcare. If I've got a job, who's going to be with Lyra? When is she eating? The universe will not provide for that. They will not provide for that. So that is the biggest puzzle that I'm like always trying to sort. Why is our child on the right?

56:39I just, I'm trusting in the person. Yeah, I'm trusting the person. She'll be fine. She'll be fine. But, you know, and I found so much, I feel like I released a lot of stress I feel like I've let go of a thousand pounds off my back. And in a similar way, even my like, I mean, everybody's obsessed with Mel Robbins at the moment, right? But in a similar way to what she talks about, like, I was feeling that already. Like, you've got to let people who they are as well and let go and just trust that human beings will be who they are. And all you can do is choose how you react to their behavior. and that approach to life in every way, whether it's my job or my relationships or even my daughter, has really helped me be calm and peaceful and in a lot of ways brought abundance into me.

57:28I was going to say, you can find more richness there because you're not fighting against things or caught in a sort of mental spiral of, you know, why did that person do that? Why can I not do that? Why shouldn't they, you know, sort of trying to problem solve things or preemptively problem solve them? And I think, thank you for articulating all of that, because that makes such sense. And also is such a beautiful way to set yourself up for, basically, I mean, it took me longer to work it out, I think. But that is what happens when you have this small person, because initially you are recognizing, oh, that's that trait, and they get that from there.

58:06And, you know, you have all your ideas. Oh, what are you going to do with your kid? How are you going to raise me? You think, well, my child's going to really love this, because I'm always going to do that with them. and then you get them and you're like, oh, that's not for you at all. And how interesting, you would rather do this than that. And, oh, you found that funny. Okay, yeah, that is funny. I hadn't thought of it that way or little things. And I think of myself like the flippers on a pinball machine. So they're the ball going the way they go. And I'm just sort of occasionally like, tap, tap.

58:32Like, can I please get them to just go that direction? Maybe don't go down there. But really, I can't control the nature of what they're doing. that I can help them maybe just frame things. I am in awe of you because I have one. Don't be in awe. The scheduling, like I said, the scheduling of her life, she's only two, but scheduling my work and my thing with her and doing that with five, you deserve an award. You deserve an award on some, and please give me tips going forward because I can use them. But it is, yeah, it's, I found that so liberating from my own kind of self-work and self-reflecting that I did during that time.

59:18Letting things go, letting people go and just kind of doing me and working on me and only really processing my reaction to things. And I think I'm a better mother to Lyra for that as well. If Lyra would have been born before I had kind of done the work on myself, I don't know if I would have been as good of a mom really. because I would have maybe tried to control her and tried to like make her do certain things and behave in certain ways, you know. Whereas I'm not a perfect mother at all, but at least I think I feel like in that sense, I am calm, you know. I make mistakes like any other mother does, but I'm calm about them, you know.

59:52I don't like let it like be the, I don't think, oh my God, I'm never going to come back from this. That was a mistake, don't do it again. Yeah, no, that's so, it's so significant. It really is. And I think, I'm glad, really glad you took the time to explain it to me because I think that's, that is a huge shift in your perspective, but to the outside looking, you're still doing all the work and everything that doesn't change, what you're able to get across, but it's just letting go of, yeah, how you're approaching things and how you, how you actually deal with the unexpected as well. Cause I was thinking when you said about, so you think you can dance and, you know, thinking at 23, well, that's game over then because they didn't, I didn't, didn't get the, that job.

1:00:34But actually, everything that's followed on became as a result of, you know, the next bit. You know, you would never have met Aliash, but when you did, you know what I mean? All the things that don't line up. But it's only really when you're older and you can look back that you understand the significance. And I remember something not working out for me once and I was down about it. My mom said, well, there'll be things that you would have done if that had worked out that you know I won't. But there'll be things that you do do that you wouldn't have done if you'd done that. You're like, okay. Yeah, but that's trusting the process, right?

1:01:01That's trusting that. that I just genuinely think, and even now with Lara as a mom, if I just love her with all my heart and give her all my kindness and all my own, the best of my knowledge, my own advice that I can give her. It was a really great quote. I can't remember it verbatim, but it's just something like, if you worry about whether or not you're a good parent, you're a good parent. Yes. Because it means you care and no parent is going to get it right. Like none of us will. And good enough is good enough as well. Exactly. Because I think, you know, as long as you are doing your best, and it's good enough.

1:01:34Exactly. That's actually great. That's basically it. Yeah. I think there's so much wisdom. And as I said, I'm actually super impressed that you kind of organized that in your head before embarking on parenthood, because I think probably your experience of early, the early years will be different because of it as well, in a way that I don't think I was as prepped for. What's the significance for you in terms of making your home here when you grew up somewhere different, and so did Aliash? Yeah, that is tough. It still is tough, especially now with Lyra in the picture. When it was just Aliash and I, we were fine.

1:02:11We were like nomads. We can literally live anywhere. We were fine because we were together. For us, home was us. That was it. It didn't matter where we were. but now that she's in the picture it's really changed a lot for us because now she has cousins both in Miami and in Slovenia and you know she's not going to grow up with them and see them all the time and I don't think Aliash and I will have any more children I just I'm 42 this year so the clock is ticking I mean never say never we might but so I almost always have my head like if she doesn't have any siblings and she doesn't have any cousins and she doesn't have aunts and uncles and grandparents nearby.

1:02:49Like I grew up with such a big family. Like Cubans, we're just like, there was 20 of us all the time in the house. An audience. An audience for me. They were my crowd. And Aliash didn't grow up with as many people, but his nucleus, his mom and his dad and his grandmothers and sister, they were all really close. So he has a very similar kind of intention and feeling about what family is. And so now for us, our family is just Aliash and Lyra and I. That's it. And now I'm really noticing that my friends, the people that I have in my life, I'm only now picking up like, oh, that is definitely going to be someone that is going to be a part of Lyra's life forever.

1:03:29We're kind of learning as we go the people that are going to be a part of her life. Not because we make them, but that are choosing to be a part of her life. And when she's, now she goes to nursery. And I'm hoping like as she starts getting older and older, she'll make friends at nursery. And then we could throw parties for her with her friends and things like that. So, but when she was born, I remember this, like, she was born in the UK. But I have an American passport and Ali Ash has a Slovenian passport. So when we traveled for the first time as a family, it was weird because we turned, I remember we turned into the immigration officer, like all three passports.

1:04:06And he was looking at us like, what? this is the most bizarre family like yeah so I'm gonna get my citizenship because I can now so I'm gonna get my UK citizenship which is really exciting but that even that is a big thing for me because I'm going my god I'm leaving I'm officially leaving my family in Miami because now my daughter is British she was born in the UK and we're very adamant that we want her to feel British even though I'm Cuban American and he's Slovenian she was born here she's gonna love a cup of tea and she's gonna love a Sunday roast you know what I mean that's gonna be her thing and so it's just a very kind of I'm still coming to terms with that thought that like this is home now this is where Lyra is going to grow up this is where she's going to make her friends this is where she's going to have a life and this is where we're going to raise her and I love it here I love it for many reasons I love it because it's small it's like an island and I have there's this epic sense of community that I think exists here in the UK that being a very very an immigrant family in Miami.

1:05:11It's huge. Miami is massive. And the US is, Jesus Christ, mega. I can't get my head around it. And you know, you can be in LA and New York City and still be in the same country. And I'm like, what? It's like six hour flights away. But here I feel an immense sense of community. And I love that. I feel like everybody really looks out for themselves here. And there's a lot of charity work. And I don't know. I really love the UK mentality a lot and it sits well with who I am as a person. So that gives me comfort knowing that she's going to grow up in a place that I genuinely think is going to give her opportunities for life whether she wants to be a creative or not and a sense of community where she's never going to feel alone even though she may not have brothers and sisters or cousins nearby.

1:05:58And with our families, we always say quality over quantity because you can have your cousins live two blocks away and never see them. But when they live so far away, we make the time. So we go, right, we're going to go and spend a week in Slovenia. And when we're there, all we do is have fun and spend time together with our cousins. And the same when we go to Miami. So when she spends time with them, it's real quality time. It's not like an hour here, an hour there every couple of months. It's like a week or two weeks at a time. Like we're going to Miami now, just me and Lyra. Well, Ali Ash is on Strictly because he's busy and he can't.

1:06:32And I've got about two weeks before work really kicks off with it takes two. So me and Lyra are going on our own. We're going to go on a girl's trip to Miami and she's going to be there for 10 days having the best time with all her cousins over there. They're going to make such a fuss of her. Yeah, and they're all making fuss while she's there. And, you know, so I feel like she's going to grow up with an enriched life even though in lots of ways it's going to be a very different life to the way that I grew up or Aliash grew up. Does that make sense? There's a little mirror there, isn't there? Because of your family's excitement at you being like, they're so little American and then you're like, my daughter will love tea.

1:07:06Yeah, well, she's got the same. She's the little British one. I was the American one, but she's the British one. And then she has to pass the baton on to whether her child has to be the ambassador for something. Yeah. All right, so sweet. When you're in Miami, see if you can find the little pink and polka-doll. Oh my gosh, my mom definitely has it somewhere. Find it. Yeah. It'll be right for her now. Yeah. Oh, thank you so much, Jeanette. And I know you probably will not have time for this, but I know that Richard said if he ever had had the opportunity to do Strictly he wanted to be part of you we would have smashed it I know but still you and Brendan were iconic you really were you were so I remember that final it was like the all girls final it was such a good final and you came down right you came down from the ceiling yeah yeah my little safety clip unclipped I thought I'll just jump out oh my god what a final yeah it was fun yeah it was like I had a lot of really happy memories actually and I think it helped me with being less inhibited on stage I've definitely carried some of what I took and plus I've never been as scared as that on stage but also you had three children at the time you said and to be able to do strictly it is no small feat all my brain cells went over to that but I just I just loved the thing of having the whole day just spent dancing yes my heart was like beaming oh yeah so happy yeah so happy by the way I have to say obsessed with Dolce Vida like perimenopop right it's iconic I love the cover I saw the video of you showing it to the kids and it was just so cool the way they like it's a great I can't wait to listen to all of it thank you I've got a copy for you thank you

1:08:53yay how good was that chat thank you so much Jeanette and how sweet to have her tiny daughter enjoying her race and cup of tea. Isn't it fascinating how you can have that melting pot with a Slovenian papa and a Cuban-American mama and then your British upbringing as well. Like, amazing. I mean, I think I'm always fascinated, but because I'm just British, I've got even when I did my ancestry, it's all very localised to the UK and a fairly traditional, typical trajectory of where my ancestors moved around. And I think it's always seemed to me so gorgeous when people have got much more of an exciting, their hereditary is more interesting than mine.

1:09:47But also how they celebrate that, how they bring those different cultures together and what it means. Plus, as I've said before, I said it last week with Anya, moving from Poland and bringing up our kids in the UK, I'm also fascinated by the idea of raising your children in a backdrop that is different to the one that you knew. I suppose it comes down to the values you had. Whereas for me, I literally walk through the same park to take my kids to school that I used to walk my brother and sister to go to the same school. So, you know, for me, I've taken a lot from having that absolute familiarity, not just of the themes, but the natural visuals as well.

1:10:26and I don't know how I would have coped if everything was very different. I don't know if that's something that I'm easily wired for. So I think I'm always impressed with people when they've done that. I'm still walking through the streets of Oslo. The rain's abated actually and I am walking down to where there's the Oslo Fjords because Richard, Pablo, Kieran, Tina and Jackson and have all spent the last nearly two hours in a sauna floating on the water. And they get very, very hot, and then they take turns to jump into the cold water and then go back into the heat. And I think it's really good for you, and I know they love it.

1:11:09And I never do it because I like being the same temperature all the time. I find that's more me, but I think it's wicked that they do it. so they've been doing that I've been mooching about myself and observing things here and now I'm going to meet up with them and get a little bit of lunch um so yes thanks again to gorgeous Jeanette sending all the love to her thank you to my producer Claire uh thank you to Ella May who is emerging from her maternity leave to start doing the artwork for me again thank you so much Ella May um and thanks to Richard Jones face who has been MDing the whole tour and been so brilliant at bringing this tour to life and really celebrating the songs new and old but also he edits the podcast so thank you darling and uh yeah I'll see you next week for more brilliant guest shenanigans and here's hoping the last three dates of the tour go as beautifully as the other ones have if you've been any of the people that come along thank you so much it's funny I stand on stage and I'm just like this is wild you know 46 years old and there's like a gig full of people in a foreign land who've come to see me I honestly I don't take any of it for granted I think it's an extraordinary privilege to travel and find people waiting for you who've been greeting me so warmly.

1:12:43So thank you so, so, so much. And, oh, I'm about to get around everywhere. Scooter. And sending lots of love. Have a brilliant week, whatever you're up to. And see you next time. Thank you for lending me yours. Peace.

1:13:23I love you