137: Pete’s packing for the Love Island Hideaway?!

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1:45This episode will contain swearing. If you don't like it, go f*** yourself. It's going to start with an awful lot of swearing because Sam's wearing a f***ing tank top. But we'll get on to that in a little bit, shall we? It's very odd. anyway rate review do all of that crap make sure you follow us on social media it's Damon and Podcast follow Josh's Juices Juices YouTube channel because that's gearing up isn't it yeah it is YouTube channel Sam was really happy to tell me this morning James Buckley got 111 ,000 people watching so Jimmy B nice he's not here so that'll die back down again this is main episode which means it's Monday so you'll be able to watch that on YouTube on Wednesday and then there'll be the bonus episode which comes out orderly on Thursday which you'll be able to watch on Sunday which means you can catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday.

2:35And the YouTube things don't come out at midnight now. They come out at 5pm on those days. Just so you can watch them on your commute home because apparently not many of you are awake at midnight. So it's better for us. So that's the main reason we've done it. So, because it is all about us.

2:58do you want to carry on are you just staring at me there for a minute well no I was just sitting there I was admiring your beard actually my beard I've trimmed it slightly differently because I've shortened my hair haven't I Pete's had a haircut everyone as has Sam just at the sides but I'm going to be honest with you I feel like you're gearing up for another shaved head well who knows the beautiful beard sir I've got to say you've left a little bit of the tash there I feel like you've grown a bit more of a tash no it's just going back it's a bit longer than it has been and I shaped it I love it sir I do mine myself yeah but I need you to dye my beard for me no yes please I don't want to be responsible for it no please I would really I don't think you need to but it's such a bonding exercise think about it me and you just sat down and you just pasting my beard sounded weird but like yeah just putting that real nice based on it No, I think you're fine as you are.

3:55I walk in, by the way, and yeah, I am wearing a tank top. I'm wearing a sleeveless top right now. Yeah, own it. Own it. In baby blue. In baby blue. And I walk - Along with Crocs and socks. In a khaki. I'm outside, right? And Pete walks up the stairs. It's a knitted tank top. Pete - Fuck's sake. Pete walks up the stairs as he walks into the building and he goes, he just stops dead at his tracks and goes, and doesn't even say anything, and just looks at me up and down like a disapproving dad. And I just felt I wanted to take it off right there and then. And he spent probably about three minutes in silence, just looking me up and down in disgust.

4:37Well, it's not disgust. I just think it's a rogue choice. I mean, I'm trying to do something different, man. I'm trying to be in there. Yeah, but sometimes you shouldn't. You've got to try. I've done, you know, tops like that before, away. I just think for sort of a day like today, it just seems like an odd choice. And the whole palette, and the stylist you say approved it. I'm not entirely sure if she did. And if she did, try a state agency. She goes to me, she goes to me. But I know why you've done it, because I've been recently looking at your Instagram comments and stuff, and people were just so enamoured with your arms.

5:15And basically, you just solely just work arms, you big buff man. Um, so if you've got the biceps, just get them out. You know, it's fine. You, you've, you've got it, mate. Just give us a little flex. Give us a little flex. Just give a little flex to the camera. I just can't do that. Okay, listen, you've got your arms out. I just can't do that. Listen, why have your arms out if you're not going to give a little flex? Go on. Just give a little flex. Tease me, tease me. Um, but yeah, no, look, you, you do you, mate. You're trying new things. She said to me, she goes, uh, she goes, I initially said to her, look, I don't think I'm a sleeveless kind of guy.

5:46And, um, and she went, no, trust me. You just got to wear it. Got to wear yourself in. It's not as aggressive as you think it is. Just wear it in. And the first time you wear it, just make sure you do it in a place that isn't like, you know, an aggressive surrounding. And I went, okay, great. I'm going to wear it to the podcast. Worst decision I've ever made in my life. The entire team's mugged me off. Even Digital Josh, who is probably the nicest man in the world, goes, oh, that's bold. I'm going to be honest with you, mate. The whole look is very Australian. the mullet the earring the little beads on the hand the little beads the sort of fine lines little tattoos because you're a bit too cool to have proper ones um uh the kind of baggy sandwich you're the crocs you know it's just um you'd be here for comfort man what what are you having now i'm getting people stole i'm getting admiral akbar the guy goes it's a trap okay he's like it looks like a lobster uh he's like a lobster alien and i'm just getting him there with his trap ring on me.

6:44Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably go back to sleeves then. You know, there's a fucking story in the press that came out yesterday, which Pete Wicks calls Sam a monster after, it's about the Botox. Pete Wicks calls Sam monster after Glow Up. When will it end? Listen, I do radio with Liv Atwood and I was talking to her because I said, look, I'll be honest with you. Sam, Sam does look good at the minute. His skin looks really good. He's had something called profiteroles or whatever it's called. And she went, yeah, it's all right. It doesn't last though. Doesn't. And she said, I thought he was having fucking poly fish spunk or something.

7:21I was like, he's had that as well. Poly fish spunk. He was like, why are you doing both? But what, fish spunk? And I haven't, I didn't do fish spunk when I got this one done. Oh, you just, and how are you feeling about it? Because it doesn't last apparently. It doesn't last. It's already probably worn off, but yeah. So you're just going to add that into your weekly routine. Oh my God, I haven't even told you. I took Pippa. You're a high maintenance guy. Did I tell you that I took Pippa? No. Did she get something done? She got the salmon sperm. Producer Pippa got the salmon sperm under the eye.

7:51Did she tell you? Yeah. I knew, I knew. Oh no, the teams, teams, everyone's got their mouth open. She's going to hate me. And who paid for that? No. We paid. No, we didn't. We did. We paid. I'm dead serious. Dude, it was a bonus. It was for her. No, no, no, no, no, no. It wasn't a bonus, Sam, because I've just paid her a bonus. I've literally just paid her a bonus. No, no, no, no. You did not put that to it. Sam, you cannot put. It's gone through the business. No, it has. Right. That's a vision. Amazingly. So just reply to me, the accountant, because I am having that meeting at quarter past five and everyone's card is cancelled.

8:31Everyone's card is cancelled. Your card is gone. It's burnt. It's made. There is nothing now. Nothing, nothing happens unless it goes through me. You have no idea what's even in the account. So how are you just outspending it? Limo. Do you want some surgery or fucking... And then an outfit. Do you want some surgery? Can I just check? Have you bought her new apartment? I don't know. Was that a bonus? What the fuck? She's going back. Great. Excellent. Make sure you tell her how much it costs then because we ain't fucking paying. We're not paying for everyone's treatments. Because fuck me. Imagine how much Annalisa cost us.

9:14Every time she gets her nails done and her hair done. No. We're the best bosses alive. No. We are such great bosses. No, we're not. You buy your tarla, we'll get your surgery. No, Sam, because what you're doing. No, I'll tell you what's happened is what you're doing is you're trying to buy respect. And what's happening is you're not getting any of the respect. You're just losing money. Because what you've become is the office bitch. when someone needs something he's got a card had a card had a card gone now mate you've absolutely ruined it your pocket money is taken away but guys never forget where that came from Jesus fucking Christ never forget anyway should we crack on because this has been some long introduction of just mindless crap from you you're fucking sleeveless top and you're paying for fucking medical procedures for people fucking ridiculous anyone needs a BVL oh yeah I'll tell you anyone who wants their tits done don't worry it's on the business.

10:11We've got you covered. We've got you covered, Queens. Annalise, don't worry, babe, we'll get you a couple of double D's. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine. The fuck is wrong with you? Not that I've looked for it, but you can actually do, you can get filler in your penis. I know. How do you know? Because I work with Liv. She tells me, like, everything. You can get, you can get filler in your knob. Yeah. How mad is that? Josh, fancy it? Sam will pay. Hey, Just give you a little bit of extra girth. So after, son, how was that? Right, after was good. After was really good. Yeah. I don't mean to bring up Myra again, okay?

10:53Oh, well, yeah, it's unusual for you. But we are tight as thieves now. That's not even a word or anything. Thick as thieves, that's the one. Yeah. I've got a pre-show ritual now where I would go into a dressing room every single day. I don't know where this is going. And I'll just give her an update on my life and I'll just go in and sort of sit down, right? Sort of uninvited, but I'll still go in and just sit there and be like, God, you'll never guess the week I've had. It's amazing, isn't it? Because what I've noticed about you since you've come out of the depression is what you like to do is, well, it was, yeah, it was sort of like you were the equivalent to America, like the Great Depression of 2025.

11:37the first three months of the year was a it was a tough one since that has kind of moved on what you do do now is you go anywhere and everyone and talk to anyone about your life I cannot remember the last time you asked a question about anyone else's because you're too it takes too long to get through what your update for the week is which is amazing because you're not as busy as you were before so a lot of the updates are based on dating um an awful lot of dating style haircuts we've had a lot of updates on haircuts. I mean, every time he has a haircut, we get an update. Don't we? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:14So Namaya's joined this. Namaya's joined. Oh, I bet she's thrilled. She literally sits and goes, it's time to get my hair done. Well, actually, if we're talking about hair, I've just had a mullet in this. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's really mulleting now. Okay, good. I mean, actually, again, whilst we're on the hair, just something else to add. I watched Roman Kent's story last night. He's gone for the Sam Thompson. Roman mugged me off though. Do you hear what he said? It was his hairdresser. Luke, yeah. Yeah. He literally fucking. Yeah. Got to get a little tent now. But I think the mug off was the fact that you literally took a picture of Roman to your hairdresser.

12:50I literally said to my hairdresser, I said this to Roman when we're doing soccer. I went, mate, I went, I would like a Roman Kemp, please. And now it's called a Sam Thompson. He's livid. We'll give you an update Next week, Sam and I have got a photo shoot together. And I cannot wait. I think we're going to take someone, maybe Hannah down with us. Yeah. To see your glam squad. I don't have a glam squad. No one's going to be there. Oh, Sam, I've seen the call sheet. Do I have a glam squad? Oh, Sam, you have got a makeup artist, a stylist and a hairdresser. Shut the fuck up. Jonathan's not there.

13:24No, he's not. So who's there? Oh, don't you worry about it. But I'll tell you what's even funnier. is normally what would happen Sam and I similar we're blokes they're not allowed to do me why oh I have to bring my own because they're going to be busy nah you're talking shit there's no way I would know this there's no I don't have I have no I don't I never have makeup ever you do Jonathan does it no Jonathan doesn't do my makeup on every Sam you forget I've known Jonathan longer than you I know what he does I introduced you to him I've never had makeup I know him Yeah, but mate, I don't, like, he's not even there.

14:02So I don't even know who would turn up. Well, it's going to be exciting. I'm as intrigued as you are to know who's going to be there. It's going to be fun. And stylist-wise as well, that's going to be an interesting one. How do we have a stylist which is wearing suits? Are you just going to bring your own, are you? Yeah. Okay. What, why? Oh, no, it's all right. Don't worry. Oh, God, I'm terrified. Anyway, so we'll let you know how that goes on. Any backstage gossip from Aftersun? Any backstage gossip? No, not really. All right, good. Just that me and Maya are best mates, really. Yeah. And she's doing the pod.

14:34Oh, here we go. No, no, no, no. I swear to God. It's the 2025 promise. We've had them since 2022. And unsurprisingly, it's not happened. No, no. She said to me, Maya said to me, she went, Again. I'd love to come do your podcast. Excellent. So hopefully she'll fit us in. If we're still going in 2027, fingers crossed, we'll get Maya Jammer in. And I'll tell you something. If that isn't the best fucking episode we ever do, then what a waste of four years. Sam only started this podcast in order to get closer to Maya, thinking that she'd come on and actually doesn't need it now because he's got after some.

15:11Do you know what my favourite thing is? You're going to like this. I went, Mike, can we get a little photo? Oh, yeah, no, I saw it. But this is my favourite thing because I saw the picture is because it was one of them. He didn't want to look like a fan like he does in every other picture. So should we do silly faces and silly poses so you look like you're having a really good time? I watched it. I saw it. I know you. hey you didn't just want to sit next to her all up weird like as if you don't really know each other it's like yeah whoa my turn around to me my turn to me she goes she goes is this to look cool in front of the girls there you go do you know what I mean even Maya knows yeah um how are you enjoying Love Island mate how are you enjoying Love Island oh mate I'm hooked I've never seen more feedback than when we talk about love.

15:55The people love it. Oh, he's got an iced coffee. For the people listening and not watching, Pete has an iced coffee in his hand right now. The question is, who's made it for you? Oh, who knows? Because it was a bit rogue and I shouldn't have done it really. But Annalise messaged me about getting an iced coffee this morning. I said, yeah, and then I'll take you to the hideaway later. And she was like, cool. I don't know what that means, but I hear hideaway. So Pete's basically taken What have I just said? For a shag. Oh, is that what a hideaway is? A hideaway is a shag. Oh no, I'm not going to fuck her.

16:27Is that what a hideaway is? A hideaway is a shag. Oh no, I didn't mean that. Sorry, I'll take her to the fire pit. Is there a fire pit? Yeah, there is a fire pit. Is that normal? No, that's where just savage conversations happen. Oh, yeah, no, sorry, dar. I didn't realise that that's what the fucking hideaway was. Sorry. Sorry. He just bought you a pair of tits, and now he's taken you to the hideaway. It's all kicking off. I'm so sorry. Don't worry. Oh Christ, fuck me. that's a lawsuit but it is booting off I've got to say fuck me I've got one in the moment bloody hell oh is it oh yeah I don't know I'm touching myself like that what's happened it's all you don't know them I'll tell you what I'll tell you what we've done this before I think we did it on reality news back in the day why don't you give us a 60 second rundown oh happily 60 seconds I'm going to time it of Love Island alright hold on right reset sorry it's from from the gym well we've We're going to discuss that very soon, actually, to be fair.

17:22So this is Sam Thompson's Love Island update in 60 seconds. So what's happening at the moment is something that's really crazy, actually, is that Emma, who came in as Harry's ex-girlfriend in Castle and Moore, and slated him in front of everybody and the nation, and was like, he's a manipulative bastard, has now confessed that she actually thinks there's still more to go with her and Harry, her ex-boyfriend. So she's mugged him off for fucking days, and suddenly got a little bit of alone time with him and is now like, oh, I want to be with you. Weirdly, she keeps raising up her arms and asking him whether he wants to give her a sniff, which is a really odd thing, and I've never seen it before.

18:01And then he turned around with her arms raised and went, oh, I'd love to smell your armpits, but I won't right now. It's like then, she went, I know you would. So he's obviously got a bit of a kink for smelling armpits. Then we've got Harrison and Tony. Obviously, Tony, I mean, everyone knows, has had a thing for Harrison for a long time, but he walked back in with another girl Oh, I've forgotten her name. Laura? Lauren. He walked in with Lauren. Now, what's crazy is that Tony and Harrison are going together again. Tune in next week for the next Love Island update. I will be honest with you. What I imagine we're going to do with that, Josh, and what I'd like you to do with that is just do a sort of slow it down and just put some music over the top as if we're all bored of it, because I certainly was, and it will probably be out of date by the time this comes out.

18:46That's such a good point. So it was kind of a pretty pointless minute, but really enjoyed it. And you also, I don't know how many couples are in there, spoke about one couple. So the worst update. It's all booting off. Oh, it's just, yeah. Well, fucking go on, Emma, you smelly armpit, you'd fuck. Is that weird? Do you, someone, if a girl raised her armpits to you, right, in a flirty fashion? Oh, I mean, that's probably where I'd struggle. I wouldn't understand that that was a flirt. Okay, so a girl comes up to you and sticks it. Show me how to raise your armpits in a flirty fashion. She went like that.

19:17She went, oh, like that. Oh, it's lovely seeing your armpits because you're sleeveless. She goes, oh, like that. And she moved her arm into him and goes, Colin, do you want to give it a smell? And he went, oh, no, I probably shouldn't. She went, I know you love to smell my armpits. And he went, oh, I really would, but I won't do it right now. What? These aren't real people. It's on God's, on God. On God, God, God, God. I swear to God that's what happened. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? No. Oh, it's men. What would you do? What would you do if a girl genuinely raised her armpit and went, go on, give me a sniff?

19:55Get them fucking pits out of my boat. On my boat? The fuck? No. No, I just don't get it. But obviously that must have been their thing. That must have been, I don't know, you know, whatever. Hopefully you'll be surprising me in Aftersun again. Well, I can tell you now. I won't be. one of my favorite things is Pete turning up to our son in Mallorca and not having a fucking clue about any of the Islanders. And they literally went to, I think it was national best friend or something. So Pete flew out very kind of Pete. And, um, and they, they, they shut him into a room and went, right, Pete. So, you know, we're going to, we're going to get you on.

20:31We're going to ask you about some of the couples. And Pete just looked at the commissioner for the entire thing went, Oh no, I don't watch it. She went, Oh, you don't watch anything? He went, no, I think it's shit. and then proceeded just to go but i'll talk to sam give him a hug so he just came gave me a hug then stood behind the bar on the outside just chugging wine in the back of the thing well because i don't like to give away alcohol on there so so every time every time someone would come to that bar bit with their drinks i'd just pull theirs in mine and then they go there's nothing left and they're only allowed one glass it was fucking beautiful me and pete actually went on a bit of a night out after that oh yeah we did we went on a big night out um because by the time we'd finished because obviously it took so long um the entire thing um which surprises me when you when you watch it but um we then went to a tiny little spanish bar um because there was nowhere else to go and we sat there surrounded by children who should have been in bed and couples who were arguing.

21:36It was a very odd occasion. And then we had a bit of a lock-in with the owner of the bar who was like Magda off of Benidorm. Yeah. Effectively. So, yeah, it was fun. I had a really good time. Well worth the trip. Oh, God. Anyway, now, you're obviously really busy at the minute. You're doing After Sun and the rest of it. And obviously, we were all in the office on Monday. you were going to come in, but you couldn't. You know, obviously quite busy. There was a lot of things going on. So we all watched your Instagram story and what you were doing with climbing on your sister's roof.

22:15We've never really delved into this because Louise is back now. She's been away.

22:23So now, you know, you live on your own, just you and the cats. You're over there quite a lot. but you don't use the front door. No, I go in through the window. Yeah. Going through the window. So I just, do you announce that you're going to do that? No, no, no, no. I just, I just, I come out my office window onto that little roof, you know where it is. And I climb across onto her roof and then open her window up and then go in through her window and then walk downstairs. Is it a Thompson thing breaking and entering? No, no, it's just me. But otherwise they don't open the door. And I just, and I feel like.

22:54Otherwise they don't open the door. And yeah, that, that's, you know, a hint. Yes. I get worried because loads of people are like, well, if you're walking on them slamming. And that worries me. Oh. Because I get so many messages being like, there will come a day. And there will. There will come a day. Well, we've spoken about this before because you said to me last time that you don't, like, if you see that, you just sit and wank. You don't go in. What? Say sit and wank or sit and wank? Wank. Oh, my God.

23:24My sister listens to almost every episode of this podcast. Hi, Louise. How are you, darling? Ryan, big man, just joking. Oh, I wonder if Leo's going to be as big as Ryan, because he'll kick the fuck out of you. Leo can be my fucking bodyguard when I'm old. You know what, Leo, literally. Is he going to be a tank? He's already enormous. So for anyone who doesn't know, he's my little nephew. And two days ago, we had a barbecue, which you were invited to, which didn't even fucking apply to you, by the way. Sorry, mate, my dog was dying. Fair enough. And he, oh, you sent me there a little bit. And he told me to go home.

24:02He's three and a half. He literally came up to you and you go home. Well, this is what I quite enjoy as well. I mean, honestly, this week you're the gift that keeps on giving, I must say. So we've had that. Obviously, you now do these dumps. and every time, you know, it's so just, there is always a cat in it or there's always a Leo in it. And always with Leo, it's the cute bit where he's sort of hugging him and whatever else. And now we hear the real story that Leo hates him and wants him to go home. But Leo, come and do the picture. Come and just pretend for a minute. Is Leo like me? Hey mate, do you know what?

24:45Is he basically sit and do the picture and then go, go fuck off now. Do you mean I'm not even joking. He literally, he literally went, I feel like Leo should be my mate. When I outstay my welcome, he goes, you go home. you go next door to cats. On my life, you say that. Leo's a ledge. I think we should get Leo on the podcast. He's a fucking nutter. Is that, did you borrow his tank top? Oh, Christ. Anyway. He's hammered today. But, but let's also just move on really, really quickly to the cat in the park. Now we've all seen the picture. I swear to God, I'm never coming back. We've all seen the picture.

25:23What we weren't prepared for was the slow-mo walk in a cat hoodie in 35 degree heat. I'm going to be honest with you. I feel like, because I know what you're like, you'd love to look at the optics. Quite disappointed with it, aren't you? What do you mean? It didn't do as well as you thought it would. I thought it did well. But did it do as well as you thought you would? Yeah. You thought you were going to be really out there, wear a cat hoodie and take a cat to the park. It didn't, your dumps of you just smiling with Leo always do better. do we think people prefer the cats in the house no I think I genuinely think that people were so intrigued by whether I could walk my cat because I'd put an Instagram story out there which is mad because there was no actual evidence of you walking it I did I walked him I put the harness on and walked him but he's in a hoodie and then he sat on your lap because I wanted to get him to the park because you get scared of the cars and stuff yeah no no that is a very good point I put him in the hoodie and then walked in the park so is there video footage of him walking there is video footage is that coming that is coming Ted recorded that What was the response like from the public?

26:22No one cares. From the Thompsonites, the fangs, what was the response? Well, to be fair, from cat owners, we're a bit of a community. Well, that's what I mean. Like, what were people saying? So everyone was saying, how have you managed to get him to want to go for a walk? Are you giving advice now on catwalks? No, I'm not. I do feel like there's an opportunity to organise a stand-alone catwalk. Oh, my God, I would love that. And not the model kind. I would absolutely love that. He adored it. And he's never seen like pigeons and stuff properly up close. He was literally chirping them. He's going.

26:53Okay. All right. Well, look out for it. Could be a new Stan relevant thing. Just a social thing. A Stan relevant cat. We could do a run club, by the way. Stan relevant run club. Without the cat. Amazing. Just, just. Are we going back on the run club? But I would love to do that. Just saying. I see loads of people doing them at the moment and they're like selling out. Stan relevant run club would be fucking great. So it's been a big, a big thing. But the neighbour thing for me, this is why when you used to say to me when I was moving back into London and you were like, well, why don't you come to kind of Fulham and round that?

27:23The main reason was you. Oh, don't say that. Mate, I'm telling you now, listen, I love your sister, love Ryan, and they're used to you, all right? If I found you climbing through my window, right, I would drop kick you back out. God, all I want is that video of like just me. It's why I live so high up in the building is so that you cannot scale the building and climb over. All right. There was absolutely, I mean, the only way you'd be at a parachute in, that's the only thing you could do. I'm going to skydive in. If you lived in Fulham, I would knock on your door all the fucking time. No, you wouldn't evidently because you don't use doors.

28:02Just break in. Yeah, you go through windows. You're like a fly. You just go through the window and then can't get back out again. Just get lonely, mate. I'm at home alone. I don't like being on my own. I've realised that by the way now. Fuck me. This is like ADHD all over again. I could have told you that. I've never seen anyone want to be around people or on the phone to people so much. Just have a minute. I can't. I've realised I can't. It's mental. I called Pete three times yesterday. He didn't pick one of my phone calls up. Mental behaviour. And then I just mentioned going, hey mate, just checking in.

28:33Absolutely wild behaviour. So Michael Owen has basically bought a whole street, like a cul-de-sac for his family. I love that. If you were going to do that, I mean, you're basically, I mean, you and your family, you, your mum and Louise all live basically in a fucking cul-de-sac together anyway. We do. My mum lives a street away from me. Which is really cute, to be fair. If you were going to do that, who would you put in your cul-de-sac? You, obviously. I'd put you, me, Louise, Ryan. I'd still have mum a little bit further down, which is just, no, no, no. Not like that. Only just because, if you live that close to someone she wouldn't need a separate house she can stay with me nah fucking Jesus Christ she uh oh god because she would that's the worst thing about me love you Karen if you live too close to your family they expect them to see you every day so like she's literally I live so close are you talking for Louise right now?

29:29if you live too close to your family you expect to see me every day you break into your sister's house you're the problem I don't know why we're creating this oh you don't want to live too close to your family in case they come in that's you my dad I told my dad when I was just saying about this barbecue I was like oh Pete might come I made the decision for Pete and then he didn't reply to me but for obvious reasons and I said to my dad I was like yeah Pete's coming to the barbecue maybe he hasn't replied yet why did you tell him I was coming because I thought you were so now your dad thinks that I've just let them down and ghosted them I never said I was going I know but I just wanted to build them up just in case also your dad looks fucking great he looks fucking quite your dad's got the old butt your dad should wear a sleeveless top he's 76 Is he actually?

30:08Yeah, he's 76. Oh, yeah, she looks pretty fucking tanky, Dad. All he cared about was where Pete was. Oh, I love your dad. All he cared about was where he went, well, is Pete coming or not? I was like, Dad, I haven't seen you for like a month and a half. And he's just like, where's Pete? No, your dad's great. We do. To be fair, your whole family is great. I do love your family. It's weird because you're my least favourite Thompson. I knew you were going to fucking say that. It's mental, wasn't it? But no. All right. Okay. Well, I mean, imagine. imagine we we became quite successful it's a long shot and we bought a staying relevant cul-de-sac oh my god pippa next to me just so i could sort of just you know i like to call her 11 p.m so i'd probably just be like look pippa can i just come around i love this i like to call it 11 p.m and 10 p.m 9 p.m 8 p.m 7 p.m 6 p.m 5 p.m every hour of every day yeah i like so i'd like to have you all there to be fair i'd have you all there i like heartbeats i realize that If you, well, that's good.

31:06At least you're not a necrophiliac. No, but I just like people, I like energy, I like people being around. So if we were all in a cul-de-sac, whose house do you think you'd visit least? What, in the whole Staying Relevant team? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Whose house would you least like to sort of pop round? Well, I don't know what Josh is bringing to the party, if I'm honest with you, you know. He's a grown mate, he's married, you know, he's getting married. There we go. Getting married. Do you know what? How times have changed? Because I'll tell you whose house I would most probably go around is Josh's.

31:40Because I feel like it would be quiet. Yeah, it's too zen for me. I feel like we could just sit in silence and it would be fine. You and Josh have really had a bit of a bonding recently, haven't you? Yeah, well, I've just grown. Do you know what easy is to grow and not show? In every sense. Josh is probably most like me in the team. Just kind of does his thing. He's good. doesn't need anything doesn't really I saw it from the outset do you know what I mean no no no no you just assumed that Josh would like you more by now and now what you've done is turned your attention to the ladies because we've got Sam's girls we've got Sam's girls we're off to Tyler baby which is weird it wouldn't surprise me if you set up a fucking power netball team and Sam's your fucking goal attack good good by the way good positioning knowledge there by the way goal attack don't worry about me played a bit of netball.

32:33Didn't really, obviously. Anyway, good. All right. You've been, you've mentioned the gym twice in these conversations and I was going to ask you anyway about updates, but you've clearly been, you've clearly been timing yourself weirdly in the gym, which I'm intrigued about. How's it going? Because you are looking a little bit more trim. How's it going? I'm going to be honest with you, not seeing the results that I used to. that's what you'd say to the PT. I'm just not seeing the results. I, cause I haven't been to the gym in such a long time. Basically what used to happen is if I ever had anything that I needed to go to the gym for, because I'm, the reason that I'm going to the gym is because I have found something out that I need to be in shape for.

33:18Okay. Which I can't really reveal because it might give something away. Mate, but the problem that I have in all seriousness, that there's something I need to be topless for, is, is that I used to be pretty ripped. I've seen the photos. But I used to, if I had something coming up four weeks and I'd just. It's been four weeks. It's like it's worse.

33:47The skin, the elasticity in the skin, it's not coming back. Oh, it's just flabbing. A lot of skin. Like a what? A lot of, well, there was, there was a, it's, it's not great I'm going to be honest with you which is worrying me please can we gym together what I have realised is my cardio is nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be you've always been quite fit and I'm really wiry something wrong with that like no I mean like as in for a small guy quite strong very odd but we all knew that as well you picked me up in every dance we've ever done but I don't care about that I just want it to look better.

34:32I don't care if I'm getting fitter or stronger because I will die soon anyway. I just want to look good dead. I can't get rid of my tits. To the point where now it's affecting what I wear. It's summer. I like quite a floaty shirt. Can't do that. Little titties. You're selling yourself short. I think you're in good neck. It's honestly, it's becoming a problem. So it's not going as well as I assumed it would. So I'm going to need to up it. But my problem is, is just at the minute. You're all over the place. Well, so I'm basically going to the gym at either 4am or 10pm. Right. So people who want to find Pete at the gym, by the way, we have just got times.

35:13We've had times announced. 4am or 8pm, you will see. 10pm. It's like finding a Pokemon. 10pm. 10pm or 4am at the gym. But also I've heard that they're not good times. So I'll tell you what is different now, which I spoke to someone about the other day. diet. So that's the thing that is making the difference now. It never used to be a problem. It never used to be a problem, but the diet is an issue because all I do is drink coffee. I don't eat, like I eat quite good food. Like I don't eat a lot of shit. Like I'm not, but I'm I do like crisps. They're causing me an issue. Saturated fats. God, this is so embarrassing.

35:52This is amazing. But I don't eat regularly and I don't eat well and obviously I don't eat a lot of protein because I don't eat meat. Pete's going to be on the shakes. So I've been suggested to start taking, is it creatine? I'm on creatine. Someone has told me I've got to do this. Never had to do fucking supplement shit before. I just used to go, I'll do 50, look at me, I'm ripped. Now, nah, saggy mess. So diet needs to work on and I need creatine and I need more protein and I need to cut out sugars because I can't keep having like iced vanilla lattes with lots of vanilla. This is becoming a lifestyle podcast.

36:32Yeah. This is amazing. I just never thought I'd get beat being like, right, I'm cutting out sugars. Soon he's going to be sort of like on an all meat. Oh no, he can't because he's a vegetarian. The biggest problem I have, as we can all imagine, is I do like to drink Guinness a lot. Whacking down 10 pints on a Sunday is not a good idea. sits there. Yeah. Not going well. So what I've decided is I'm going to try and cut out all of that sort of shit and I'm going to go to vodka slimline tonics. I feel like that's a better bet. I just love it. How do we feel about that? That's Pete, that's the lifestyle bit of Pete Wick.

37:13So it's not like something we're doing this, it's like I'm just going to do the slimline gin and tonic. It's, we're still boozing, but it's just the slimline gin and tonics. Not vodka, just gin. I love gin. Oh, fucking hell do I love gin. But gin is one of the only things that gives me a hangover. It's called a skinny bitch, by the way, a slimline gin and tonic. You're going to be all the skinny bitches. Yeah, listen, skinny bitch queens. Oh, my God. So that's what we're going to do. But luckily for me, because, I mean, tequila's my favourite drink, as everyone in this room knows. So I'm fine with that because it's supposed to be the best spirit anyway.

37:53But I don't like, I like to have tequila as the shots. So I like to have a different long drink. Anyway, that was just a little bit. So I kind of went away from gym there and just started talking about my favourite subject, which is alcohol. And our next point of discussion was Pete's mysterious job part. Oh, we moved on from the gym. No, sorry. I literally took a picture of my gym outfit for you. Oh, did you? Oh, great. Oh my God. What are you wearing? What are you repping? I mean, it's a dark lift selfie because it was like 11 o 'clock at night. Can I guess? Can I guess quickly before you show everyone?

38:24Yeah. I think he's gone for a vest, but it's actually shaped a bit like this, weirdly. Shorts. Are you wearing leggings? No, because it's a bit hot for that, maybe. Show us.

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40:23pretty normal that is quite normal to be fair god your drawstrings are low so so what i'm seeing here is uh to be fair what i'm seeing are fucking arms i gotta i am seeing a pair of biceps and i'm not joking i'm seeing a you can only see one arm so it'd be weird if i had both biceps there i can see it's at the screen i can see i can see a single bicep it's big which means something's working i can see this is all for you listeners at home i can see a uh a very nice figure hugging vest that he's wearing that really are rounding the shoulders and the traps very nicely and um and a pair of shorts that accentuate the package i believe they're a pair of essentials if I'm not mistaken because of the jawstring.

41:06Yeah. And they go just above the knee. So you can see a little bit of leg in that as well. And there's a lot of tattoo on that leg as well. And it's very rugged. And it's what I expected from you. It's a rugged, Pete's gone for a rugged gym outfit. I didn't go sports direct and just pack myself out in a load of fucking tight crap. That's LA though. That is LA. Oh, is it? Yeah, very. Oh, ****. Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, so the gym is happening, but it's just not - We'll put that on socials for everybody, I think. It's just not going that well. I'll get you a lighter one, a lighter picture if you want.

41:35You would love one. It's only because I read the thing. Shall we? And I'm being serious. Should we gym together? Just one a week. I don't know if I'm like... We've got to film that. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm ready for that. The problem with me, Sam, is I like to just get in and get out because I don't enjoy it. I'm in and out in 40 minutes. Oh, don't be so fucking silly, Sam. If we went to the gym together, all you would do is constantly be on Instagram stories. Then you'd have me taking pictures of you doing a little bicep thing because you're looking a bit vascular. and then, do you know what I mean?

42:04Vascular? No. Okay. I think that's the next thing that you need to work on, actually, because you are in good shape. You need to increase the vascular area because it always makes you look a bit fitter, doesn't it? It does. I don't even know how to do that, to be fair. Have you dropped off the gym since the challenge has finished? I have. No, I haven't, but I've stopped. Are we going, because you're doing so much cardio for obviously that reason. Yeah, I've stopped doing cardio. Are we going back just on the weight some way? Yeah, which is bad because I'm now starting to put on a little bit of timber as well.

42:30But it's not about me, Pete. It's about you. and I'd really, really, really like to go to the gym with you at some point, I think we should film it. If you would like to see me and Pete spot each other at the gym and tell each other, just one more rep. But this is the difference though, is I'm not doing a lot of weights because I need to rip up. I don't need, I don't want, because I'm wider than you. Yeah, he is. He's got very broad shoulders. Which is so, and because I'm not big. You've got a swimmer's body. And you start going weird and like that. I don't want that. I just want to look lean.

43:01we will, we will touch back. I think we should do a weekly check-in and I think we should get Pete to take his top off each week and we'll do a, we'll do a progress shot every single week. I just like, this has not become Weight Watchers where you're going to fucking weigh me each week. But anyway, so yeah, but it's not going as well as I'd hope. I've just read something on the RPAD, which, which I didn't realise about you. And this is a bit of research into your past life. You, what I know about you is you used to work at a medical recruitment company. You were a director at that company. very high up, which we all know about.

43:34But you, we had Darren from accounts in a - Darren is my personal accountant. He came in on Monday. Darren Fowler. So hungry I could eat a Darren Fowler. So Darren Fowler came into the office on Monday and sat all day with the girls and I. Yeah. And I used to work for Darren over 20 years ago. So this is what I didn't know. You used to work as a trainee accountant. Yeah. So I was, numbers, I've always been all right with numbers. So when I left school, obviously, you know, didn't really know what I was doing and wasn't a particularly good boy. I did a little bit of labouring, then didn't know what I was doing.

44:18I thought numbers, accountant, that's a fucking solid job, isn't it? They own good money. Accountants know what to do with money. So I printed off a load of CVs and then walked around an area and handed them out to those accountants. and Darren was the only one that called. And I went in and got a job with Darren and I was, yeah, I was a trainee accountant. So I did like first year's AAT, got bored of it, hated it. Really good guy, Darren, actually. Such a good guy that for Christmas bought Pete an alarm clock because he was always late for work. That's true. But yeah, so I've known, and now Darren is my accountant.

44:52But yeah, it's very weird. But mate, I've had a life. You were a catwalk model at one point? I've walked catwalks, yeah. Did anyone fucking know this? Pete's done catwalking. Yeah. Different to your catwalking. Who the fuck have you done that with? And how has this not been a huge part of the podcast? Because it was, by the way, we're not talking like fucking Dior here, kids. All right? What are we talking? Argos. Not even a joke. Was in the Argos catalogue. He's just holding the catalogue whilst walking down the catwalk. I used to do sample stuff at All Saints and fucking all sorts of stuff back in the day.

45:31But yeah, and I've walked a catwalk before. How do you walk? I was actually asked to do one last year. So how would you, would you have a, I'm not going to ask you to do it now, but how would you have walked down that catwalk? Is there a way you do it? No, because I'm not a model. Like, obviously I'm not a model. Yeah, but back then I bet you had. I'm fucking five foot ten. I look a bit fucking like I've been dug up. Like it's not. No, but back then you didn't. But I was still five foot ten. I mean, I did look better back then. It was during the skin edges as well. And I was in shape. But no, I'm not like, I wasn't a model.

46:05Model. So I just walked it like I walk. It wasn't, by the way, I feel like we're bigging this up for this to sound like I used to walk for fucking like Gucci. No, it was, I can't even remember what the fucking brand was. I'll see if, I don't know if there's a video. Please, please find it. I don't think there's a video. I did watch a video from me from about 10 years ago for St. Elstoga, which is fucking hilarious, which we'll get into on another day. But there might be pictures from it. I'll ask my mum if there's pictures from it. Mate, I think we'd all love to see that. She's probably got some of the old modelling pictures.

46:41You know, oh my God, well, you know I'm a stickler for numbers and I think that would go viral. So if we could find that for all of our viewers and listeners who seem to really, really dig. Well, I came out of retirement the other day. But this is the thing. We were going to get onto this. Pete Wicks, the calendar years, 2020, 2025. So. 2025. So. Question mark. So I was filming the other day and the photographer used to do my calendars back in the day. Popped down with his little crescent. He was like, mate, can we just get a couple of shots? And I was like, it was at the end of the day. and I went, oh, fucking hell.

47:24Literally 10 minutes lasted and I went, I can't do this anymore. I literally can't do it anymore. I just look fucking 900 years old. But, so what we do is put them in black and white. Yeah, yeah. Whack it in black and white. There's one that hasn't been posted yet. Is it going to be posted though? I think so. Because Pete, by the way, can I say something? Because I've got nothing to post. Pete takes the piss out of me for my fucking cat-candid photos. And I understand, I get it. I can take it. but don't let's not get it twisted Pete puts up those black and white things to put to dip his toe in the water is that recently?

47:59That was last week That's beautiful that is a beautiful photo now for the people listening let me just explain to you what I can see again You'll see it on the gram soon You'll see it on the gram soon But you I know what you do Pete you dip your toe in to see whether the response is going to be really good and if it is he'll do more Don't think that Pete doesn't care about Instagram he does But we've got a photo shoot next week so we're back in the the fucking game. We're back in town, baby. The issue that I have is since the last time Sam and I did a focus shoot, Sam has obviously really had a glow up.

48:29And I always used to feel comfortable with the fact that I was going to look better. Not anymore. I don't think that's going to be a problem, Pete. I think we all know. I think we all know when you. Oh, no, no, no, no, Sam. You are aware that you are now the heartthrob. So it's going to, it's going to be a struggle. It's going to be a struggle next week. I'm really going to have to up my game. So I will not be helping you. no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no listen you figure out your own poses and you figure out your own face mate i need all the help i can get right now because you look great and i still look like a fucking cockroach in a wig you know what i find really funny you're gonna love this so the reason i found this next topic um really funny is because you're not the only one this has happened to well so let me tell you that right can you can i just say the story Can I say the headline?

49:17Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a headline in the mirror about Peter James Jonathan Joseph this week that absolutely fucking sent me. Pete Wicks falls victim to fake AI Wimbledon influencer who deceived him. And my favourite thing is, is that I know exactly what's happening. So if you read the story, basically, Pete has followed an AI Instagram profile of the most beautiful girl in the world. So listen to this headline. And now I wouldn't normally do this because the Mirror actually are probably the only, I don't like press, everyone knows that. They're always good to us. They're always actually quite good and they do all the animal stuff, but they were the ones that made everyone think I was dying.

50:03So falls victim to fake Wimbledon influencer who deceived him. so I get a follow from this fucking account right you go on the account stunning pictures at Wimbledon and I thought oh followed me we give that a follow back didn't think anything of it suddenly it appears in the fucking papers and I went back on it and it's still fucking there and it looks like a genuine profile doesn't it and I thought she's fucking beautiful she's in London she's fucking amazing happy days I didn't slide in or anything did you slide I was going to slide no no no I didn't slide in because it literally I got the follow and then followed straight back anyway look at the fucking headline go onto the thing to then unfollow because it says they'd already unfollowed me so I was deceived I didn't even know I had no I literally just thought it was a normal person stunning though I can't I'll tell you what fuck me it's dangerous out there dude I'm not joking I not to make this about me but I wanted to make you feel better I've done this before mate with this same one no no no different one have you seen this one right up your street right up your street Mate, honestly, not even necessarily my cup of tea, but right up your street.

51:10Really beautiful. I would marry her in a second. At Wimbledon, causing a big stir. And I thought, oh, hello. She's obviously in London. Dude, if this keeps happening, we're in for a world of trouble. The fake eye, yeah, it's mental. I'm going to be honest with you. The only reason that I've unfollowed was because I felt like I'd been deceived. If I'd have known it was A, I probably still would have followed because the pictures are just really, and they weren't like naughty pictures or anything like that. Just a really beautiful looking girl. like fucking doing like and I thought oh she looks lovely like the surroundings everything was just really nice but I was deceived by a robot could see yourself marrying her oh to be honest with you that might be what happens with me yeah it could be I actually want does anyone I've just recently watched this is a bit of Rogue reference oh god is it with Joaquin Phoenix where he falls in love with the AI bot no but I love Joaquin Phoenix no but it's similar but this is Rogue and it's a long time ago and you probably has anyone ever watched Rocky yeah right so when Rocky makes it and they move Paulie into the house and he gets a robot back in the day.

52:10And Paulie changes the, no one's going to understand this. I do, I've watched it. Paulie changes the voice of the robot and he's like, hey, you look great today, Paulie. That is my ideal wife. Like literally just a robot who brings like coffee and stuff like that to me. And like, I don't have to do like, I can just wank. It's fine. Don't need anything else. My favourite thing is that Pete, this is so good. So basically Pete's ideal lady is a robot. Well, it's just because I don't think I'm emotionally capable to deal with... Whilst holding your head like that. Yeah, well, I'm emotionally stunted and shit with things like that.

52:46And the good thing is there will never be any fear of her leaving. That's such a good point. She hasn't got a choice. She can't go anywhere without me. She's contractually obliged. Do you know what I mean? If we have a route, I'm not going to charge you. Do you know what I mean? I'm not going to charge you. I'm not going to put you in the port. Yeah. no us no usbc's going in there i can tell you that much for sure but yeah anyway so yeah terrifying out there though man pete honestly you're not alone you are not alone we've all been there yeah yeah it's fucking it's wild mate and just really disappointed yeah if i'm honest with you i'm i genuinely am quite disappointed about it really we're just she looks really wholesome as well oh mate you know what she just looked so so have you seen the pictures as well Her eyes are so in proportion.

53:32Yeah, it's unbelievable. Like, honestly, I just thought, oh my God. I found my future wife. I know exactly what you mean. It's sad, doesn't it? Yeah, because everything, she looks like she was doing really well for herself. And really good soul. Yeah, like really kind eyes. Yeah, she looked like a really wonderful soul. And I'm just, honestly. I know, I had the same thing with Melanie C.

53:55She does exist. She just fell in love with Sporty Spice. Oh. um this is this has been this has been one of my favorite episodes done in a very long time by the way uh and i and before we round it off we do look we do love a pete reacts on this pause um and i just wanted to throw something at you if that's okay peter uh the uh the 10 million pounds spunked on a birkin bag it was the first ever birkin bag made it was jane birkin's bag yeah yes oh so you know the story uh 10 mil too much for a bag no oh bloody hell well that's an iconic like that's not a bag that's not a bag that's going to be used if you have got 10 million it doesn't matter if you're spending 10 million on a bag it doesn't matter to you everything's relative isn't it of course that's fucking ridiculous for any of us but if you're a bag collector and you're a fucking billionaire 10 million's fuck all and it's Jane Birkin's bag which is fucking iconic really isn't it I don't know why I'm I was going to say so are you spending 10 million on a Birkin bag Pete I don't have 10 million pounds if you did have 10 million pounds if I was a billionaire mate we live in the cul-de-sac right now You bought a cul-de-sac, the same relevant cul-de-sac.

54:59You've gone out shopping and you've gone to an auction house and you've seen the fucking 10 mil working back. Mate, it's relative. Of course it's fucking ridiculous. But put it this way, if that's your collectible thing and that's your passion and you've fucking worked hard and you've done whatever else, then fucking do what you want. Is it your passion? Bags? Yeah. No. Like, I personally wouldn't, but I think it's a relative thing, isn't it? It's like, if I was a billionaire, I would collect. What are you buying? Yeah, what are you collecting if you're a billionaire? Um, watches, cars and motorbikes.

55:30What about archaeology? Couldn't give a shit. Really? That's what I'd get. So that's what I mean. Like everyone's, so, but, but then look at like fucking, I don't know, fossils or dinosaur bones or whatever you want to do. I imagine they're expensive. I'd love a T-Rex. But there you go. Yeah. But imagine how much it would cost you to get a fucking T-Rex skeleton. I don't even know if you can do that. You can? Oh no, you can. Someone actually bought a T-Rex skeleton for millions. What, like Amazon? No. Well, like, where'd you get that? Dinosaurs are us. At an auction house. but anyway but if that's your thing like and that's what you can and then fucking do it but mine would be watches, cars and motorbikes like I would I would if I had the money I can see that so but if you're if that's what your thing is then I do think it's kind of relative of course it's mental 10 million pounds is mental what you could actually do with that is fucking ridiculous but it's obviously someone that has that like it's not like they've sold everything they own and they're going to live in the bag like the old woman in the shoe.

56:28Do you know what I mean? Like they've obviously got the money to just fucking spunk and do that. And if that's your collection, then that's quite an iconic thing to collect. I would say Jane Birkin's bag is the bag of bags. No? If I, if I was a billionaire, I would buy you so much random shit that you like, that I would have delivered to your gaff. Like I would buy you loads of dinosaur bones and I just, I'd buy you a stegosaurus one week and then I'd have a fucking tyrannosaurus to live to you the next week. Mate, if I, if I was a billionaire, you'd never see me again. Mate, if you don't think I would go and change my entire face and go and live in Costa Rica, then you're fucking mental.

57:04I can imagine Pete doing that. I can imagine Pete changing his face. You know when they cover the faces with bandages? I'd call myself fucking Gary and I'd go and live in Costa Rica. I'd be gone. I'd do a documentary called Finding Gary. Yeah, yeah. That would be, you would never see or hear from me again. You and all these fucking idiots would be in your little cul-de-sac having a coffee morning going where is he where's Gary and I'd be in Costa Rica doing whatever the fuck I like oh so fucking good anyway mummy as well fucking hell right thank you for listening to Staying Relevant with me and him if you if you want to get in touch with us email the worst email address in the world which is hello at srproductions.co.uk subscribe follow do all of that crap rate review leave stars five of them we love a star Follow us on the socials and subscribe to Josh's channel and all that crap.

57:58We'll be back Thursday. You'll be able to watch this Wednesday at 5pm. 5pm. It's a change of time. We love you so much. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Again, no Pippa here. We're flying by the seat of our pack. Well, we're not. We've got Galena and Josh. Who's Pippa? Yeah, who's Pippa? Mic drop. But we think you've had a great time. Oh, no, I'm done. Oh, Pete's moved the mic away. I'm still here, though. Sleeveless jumper. Okay, let's stop now. Okay. Just want to let you know, There will be a photo of Pete's gym attire on the... Okay, we're going to go. We love you so much. It hurts, actually.

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1:00:57So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We're sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.