144: THE Holiday Debrief!

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1:16It's no wonder CarGurus is the number one most visited car shopping site, according to SimilarWeb's estimated traffic data. Buy or sell your next car today with CarGurus at CarGurus.com. Go to cargurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal. That's C-A-R-G-U-R-U-S dot com. Cargurus dot com. Oh, I'll tell you what. I could release a chocolate hostage. Fucking hell. I thought that's what you were describing me as. A chocolate hostage. Sometimes it does feel like that when I'm here. I need a shit. Mate, we don't have time for that. Okay, yeah, fine, fuck it. Should have done it to Loose Women.

1:58Yeah, I should have. Just left him a little present. Yeah. Because we are two Loose Men. Are we ready? We're rolling that whole time. Oh, gosh, John, no. So you may, for those of you that are watching, look at us and think, God, they've dressed up for the pod. We haven't at all. Normally we're in just Staten, Tops, Priest, but Dermot O 'Leary and I have just come straight from Loose Women. Yeah, because we're Loose Men, everybody. And welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two besties of best pals who are back from their extended holidays and ready to f*** up. I will be swearing if you don't like it, f***.

2:41This is the main episode, which means it's Monday, so you'll be able to watch this on Josh's YouTube channel from 5pm on a Wednesday, and then we'll be doing a bonus episode on a Thursday, which comes out audibly on a Thursday, which you'll be able to watch on Josh's YouTube channel on Sunday. So that means that you can catch us on a... Oh, fuck. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. Beautifully done. Rate, review, do all of that sort of shit. You know the deal by now. Shall we just crack the fuck on? Absolutely. My mullet-wearing pal. Yes, we absolutely should. Sam, we've both been on holiday.

3:15Very different holidays. However, you broke the internet on yours. How did he break the internet? He got his top up. Tease me, tease me. Come on and tease me now. You sexy fucking devil. Six out of the 11 photos you posted were tipped out. Was it a conscious decision to not wear clothes on holiday? You've been working hard in the gym, mate. You know, if you've got it, flaunt it. I was away. If you don't know, I was in Marlborough. people's in our beafer and I just I was like you know what I haven't really been in the sun all year and uh and I thought I'm just gonna I'm just gonna sort of like release release the rig a little bit you and did you release it hey you didn't put it fucking away did you you released it into the wild set it free and the fans went mad um it's incredible talk about a first trap and you have just gone you're now at sort of elite level first trap um it's it's honestly impressive and i must say mate you look great you did say that obviously you've not really seen the sun um which i know if you are watching will be a surprise because sam is radioactive currently um now marbella is hot and and it is very sunny but that's not where that came from because sam has now been dabbling during his glow-up stage in the world of spray tan.

4:44I know firsthand all about this based on the fact that we went to a job as soon as we both got back from holiday on the Friday. We both got back on Thursday, went to the job on Friday and Sam's hands looked like he had been clapping with baked beans. The orange was between the nails. It was under the nails. It was between the fingers. And he went, don't worry, it'll come off. He had orange around the back of his ears. But you look great. Do you know what, mate? And I mean this seriously. I haven't had a spray tan in a very, very long time. Right? And my sister was like, do you want to jump in?

5:16What colour do they call this? Is it sort of like clementine? No, it's just, I think it was extra dark. Yeah, extra dark. I would call it, you're more sort of rust. Rust. I would say. But she was like, do you want to dive in? I was like, okay, fine. So I sort of like, so I went in. So you thought you'd dive in on your first one with extra dark? Yeah, but I don't know. I didn't know. I don't know how it works. It's like Ross from Friends. I did know that the teeth looked so white. I'm not surprised. Orange and white, this is a real compliment to each other. It was real tough. I woke up in the morning and I didn't realise that you've got to shower it off.

5:49But I, because we got up really, really early, I foregoed the shower in the morning. And so it just carried on sort of ruminating on my skin. And then when I got to the end of the day, I honestly looked like Donald Trump. And I get it, but I might have another one. I think I might be in my spray tan area. I'd potentially not go with the extra dark. I would bring it down a level. You know, listen, we know you're at the elite level of thirst trap, but you are not at the elite level of spray tan yet. I would go something more entry level and perhaps go with sort of just a shimmer. A summer shimmer as opposed to mahogany because you currently look like Ron Silron.

6:33You look like a fence panel. It's unbelievable, the colour of you. The dark hair, the eyes are very blue. We took a picture earlier on, and Sam's eyes are fucking, they're popping. They're popping off. Do you know what? The only thing that's missing is the hair. Only at the back. If anyone watched the love on it, if anyone watched the Looser Moon thing we just did, I wore a wig, a long-haired wig, and it was the best feeling I think I've ever had. a feeling of a full barnet was just, I've never had that in my entire life. It's the first time the back of your head hasn't felt cold. Mate, I felt like thicker.

7:13I felt really thick. You looked thicker. And it was so good. And I just wish I had that barnet on me. Well, if we go back to the spray tan thing, your one true love and a man that looks up to you, or you look up to, sorry, Roman Kemp, just wants to know why you didn't do your legs. I knew you could say that. You're such a fucking bastard, man. I mean, your legs do look like two bits of cotton hanging from a pair of shorts. I'll tell you what it's like. It's like a what's it on sort of tampon stilts. Everyone was being so nice. I'll go extra dark from the waist up and extra power from the waist down.

7:50Just like to mix and match. You're like Hovis, best of both. It was so annoying. Like reading through the comments, everyone's being so lovely. Wow, like God, the sun's really done you well. And then Roman fucking Kemp. It's like, didn't fancy tanning your legs, did you, mate? You're like, fucking prick. Or just do me in. Well, in all honesty, mate, I think you look great. Do you know what the worst thing is, mate? Is that loads of the comments on the photo were like, I can't wait till Pete gets a hold of this. They were like, almost all your photos are topless. I deleted one of them because I was like, do you know what?

8:19He's going to take me down for this. So I went through and went, I've got to take down one topless photo. And then I sent them to producer Pippa and asked him. Genuinely, I did this whilst I was on a holiday and Pippa was at work. This was after work hours though, Pete, so it's fine. Yeah, it was after work hours. It was during their Tuesday afternoon paddle club. So I asked Pippa to rank them from best to worst. Okay, I just want to point out a potential lawsuit and HR issue. Sending topless photos to your producer who works for you and asking them to rank them is probably up there with one of the most inappropriate things I've heard.

8:58Weirdly enough, it's up there with me sending Josh my dick pics all the time. going, is this a good angle? My favourite response is very girthy, mate. Yeah, or you've got to do it from, not that I've done it from bottom up. Bottom sideways up. No. Not that I've done it. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's just that's what I imagine. Our publicist loves us. Yeah. Really loves us. Anyway, I mean, look. She picked a good one, though. You did well, Pippa. You did really well. Just for clarification for anyone that's just jumped in and missed the first part of that, she didn't pick one of his dick pics.

9:34This was the holiday snaps. Just in case we're all slightly confused. If you missed part of that because you were, I don't know, having a piss or washing up or whatever, it's not that. Nothing's a problem, all right? But the glow up, is it in preparation for our next big job together? The NTAs. The NTAs are coming. At time of recording now, it is exactly one week to the NTAs this time next week we will both be getting ourselves ready at the O2 for the NTAs bloody hell it is the second time that we are going to be hosting the red carpet outfit Sam are you sorted with your out tit similar to an outfit but just with a tit involved have you got an outfit?

10:19I think so yeah you know what I'm going to wear velvet? No I was going to wear the same thing all last year I only have two suits I'm slightly worried because I pre-plan outfits for things, as you know. And I have been having a jacket made and I don't know if it's going to arrive. What colour is it? It's nice. I would call it forest green. But I don't know if it's going to be there in time. So I may have to go all black. Me and Pete are going to be matching. Why? You haven't got green. I've got a green one. You said it's a... Yes! Yes! me and Pete are going to be matching at the NTAs well I'm definitely not wearing that no no no please honestly I don't know if it's going to make it oh my god we're going to look like Tweedle Dean Tweedle legend so I spoke to my guy the other day and I don't know if it's going to be fucking ready no you have to so in which case if it's not there I can't okay fine fine fine if not then it will be it will go to Pride of Britain so either way I'll be wearing it at some point but if not I'm going to be going all black I'm going to be going minimal there will be a brooch.

11:25My mum was dark green. Wow. We have to. Green and orange. Interesting. You're going to look like a Tic Tac. For fuck's sake. Like a cross. Jesus Christ. It's an interesting look. Fucking hell. I mean, it's real popping against that green. What sort of, are we going sort of this shade of green? No, no, no, darken that. So it's like a sort of a forest green. Or an olive green. An olive green. Olive green. Yes. Yeah, no. No, is it? Because we were just on loose women talking. We were just talking about having Olive and Rose on national television. How Olive and Rose made it to loose women, I don't know.

11:59How cool is that? I mean, how are you going to be changing things up from last year? Because last year was kind of... We're not changing shit, mate. We're going in, balls to the wall, trousers to the ankles, ready to go. So because, you know, it's relaxed the NTA's red carpet, how are you planning on sort of just easing into conversation with people, you know, without being too sort of aggressive? if are you going straight in with a hug with everyone? Yeah, 100%. What are you wearing? I can smell you. You smell great. Yeah, what are you wearing? I can smell you. Right. So you're going with a question and then following up with a statement.

12:32Yeah. Okay, yep. I can't wait. And then what's normally going to happen is either me or Pete are going to turn to each other and go, so who is that? And hopefully one of us knows. Well, we know which person is going to be asking who's that. And then we are doing some running. I don't like the idea of just being stood in one position for the entire time. I'm not running. Yeah, you are. Sam, I'm not running. Genuinely, I think we need to go into the pack. You know, when they're on the red carpet, we need to go pluck people. Sam, I'm there to interview, but I'm not there to pretend to be you saying fucking bolt.

12:59No, we do. We want to be running after people so we don't miss them. What I'm going to do is I'm going to send you out like a working dog. Fine. And I'll be going, Pete! Pete, we've got one! Yeah, retriever. I'll send you out to get the ducks, and then you can bring them back to me and drop them at my feet. Okay, great. And then we'll both smell them. I'm not going to smell people. That is such a weird conversation. Who the fuck? Why are they letting us do this again? I don't know, but I can't fucking wait for it. And we always pull something out of the bag as well because we normally wing it, I'm going to be honest, and it is still professional winging, I like to call it.

13:33I mean, really, I'm going to be there for kind of research purposes. What way? Because as of the 10th of September, which is when the Intesa is, it will be exactly nine days until we are back at the O2. for our very own show. Wow. I've offered a lot of tickets out, by the way. I'll be honest with you. Not as many as me. I offered someone a ticket. Not as many as me. I think we had about 300 and I've cleared about 270. No way. So you're on about 30. Just Louise Ryan, mum and dad, really, isn't it? Yeah, no, I've gone a little bit over the top. I offered someone a ticket yesterday. I was like, do you want to come?

14:17They went, no. Yeah, it's pretty wild, but it's not going to be long. But it's been a very busy week for you. Obviously, we have come from Loose Women. I don't know if I've mentioned it. But it's just your daytime Sam now. Oh, yeah. Back on this morning. Twerking. Did I twerk? Did I twerk? Well, you were there. I presume so. I don't think people's made it up. When did I twerk? You shouted. On this morning. You twerked on this morning. Sam, you know, looking for that kind of sofa spot. But what he did was twerk on this morning and shout, this is provocative. Oh, is that the entertainment section?

14:58Fuck me, in front of Ryland. Yeah, and I do remember that, actually, yeah. Are you enjoying kind of doing these kind of hard-hitting journalism pieces? Do you know what? I did think when I had sort of like my right butt cheek in the air, I went, I'm never going to be allowed to host this full time, am I? I was like, this is the highest level of brow I'm going to get to, I feel like. On the way here, I actually paid Sam a compliment and said that he's very at home on daytime TV. It's the first time we've done daytime TV together and you are very good at it. But? No. Oh my God, bloody hell. You're very good at it.

15:32What about the twerking? That's, you know, that's a low point. Or the dwerking. I should have dwerked. I don't know. What's the difference? The dick twerk. Don't do that. You should have done the dick twerk. Listen, you know daytime better than me, but I would probably stay away from dick waggling. Yeah, no, we were on Loose Men today. And the whole team were watching on TV, which was so nice. I got a photo from Pippa and they were all watching and you sent a photo of us with the long barnet, the long wig on. Yeah, you had a different... But Olive and Rose, I think, is the thing. Something from our podcast, our hypothetical daughters.

16:08I mean, we went into an ad break with people going, and Sam and Pete actually have daughters. I shit myself because I thought that they were actually going to bring a couple out that I didn't know about. But I think genuinely, when they went, I went, what? I thought it was going to be one of the moments, we found her now. You didn't know. She's now 14. You know what? We're in the green room and Pete genuinely did panic. They said, and we're going to talk about your daughters. I wish they'd kept it a little bit longer. It would be so good. Fucking, you nearly saw a fucking, like a Pete Carble cut a lot of fucking run through the wall.

16:42They did get a really good fucking shout out, though. A phenomenal shout out. And we actually, do you know what? I feel like we have really come a long ways, dads. We have. Do you think Rose would be proud of you? You know, you're this morning and sort of daytime TV dwerking. Yeah, I really do, actually. I think that Rose is sort of looking at me and being like, he's a bit of a changed guy. Do you think you're now the cool dad in the playground? No, because I was in the playground recently with Leo, actually. And, sorry. And funny enough, that's where that hair came from. He was in the playground recently.

17:14Jesus Christ. and I was pushing him on the swings and I hit myself in the teeth on the swing. In the teeth? How tall are the swings? I was pushing the swing quite heavily and I was pushing it back and forth and it basically knocked me out and cracked me in the tooth. The two of the parents came over to me and asked me if I was okay. I went, I'm just the uncle, it's fine. I'm just the uncle. Fucking hell. So not that cool yet. Yeah. I think you'd be the cool dad in the playground. No, mate. Honestly, Leo, he's in that era, He's in that age where, like, I feel like I'm getting bullied. Why don't I come and pick Leo up one day?

17:48He'll cry. Uncle Pete's in to pick you up. Right, I'm staring at you as a four-year-old would stare at you, right? What are you saying? He's a crash, mate. Hold on.

18:01It's just like a bicycle, just a bit noisier. You'll be fine. Also, a bit off topic, but we did a... I did a little video with Louise and Ryan yesterday. I saw it. I did want to get into this at some point. I, everybody, it was sort of like a, sort of poses for threesomes. Well, it wasn't a threesomes, it was me and my sister and Ryan, but it was like for three people. Although there was a pose where Ryan was holding me up in the air. Who was fucking who? My legs wrapped around him. It did look like he was like coming in from behind. And I did, we all thought, do you know what? This is just missing Pete.

18:37We all said it and we were like, we're just missing Pete in this pyramid right now. What I will say about that is, thankfully, Ryan took my usual role of being at the bottom and holding everything. That's even more like that. But he looked like he was absolutely fine with that. He did. The one point where you're holding Ryan, you look like you may have followed through. So heavy. Like your eyes were popping out of your head. Like literally popping out of your head. But I actually quite enjoyed that post. No, but mate, we needed you there, man. And this is something I think we, a wider discussion really, is that me and Pete haven't done a nice video together in a while.

19:16Oh, for fuck's sake. And I'm just going to implore, I think I should implore the listeners to just to sort of like, maybe, you know, go on Listener Strike or something until, until. Why did you say that? Go on Listener Strike until Pete comes to my gaff and we reimagine that posing, but with four people. Listen, I'm going to be really honest with you. I mean, everyone knows that I'm not a massive fan of doing all these fucking things, but that isn't the reason I haven't done it. I just haven't been around. We really miss you. Even Louise. Even Louise was like, God, this would have been perfect for Pete.

19:49But I don't know what role I would have taken on that because Ryan had my role. Oh, mate, we would have found a place for you. Don't you worry about that? I mean, I imagine what would happen was... And in fact, I know what would have happened. Despite the fact that Ryan is basically He-Man, all right, and could support everyone, you'd have made me put at the bottom carrying Ryan. Yeah. That's what would have happened. You would have loved it. I would have been wrapped around you in some capacity and sense of the word. Yeah. Again, it sounds erotic. You'd have been holding a cat. Is this provocative?

20:18Or twerking in your face? Yeah, no, it was. Yeah, I enjoyed it though, mate. You've been very wholesome recently. Wholesome holiday, wholesome daytime TV. You're just a wholesome guy these days. Wholesome pictures with a family. Uncle fucking Sam. You're a wholesome, wholesome man. Do you know what isn't so wholesome? is, well, it's not that it's not wholesome. I am saying this to Pete in the car on the way here. I did a video recently and I had to hire a model to be in the video for me because I didn't have anyone else to be in it. So I had to hire someone. That's why you hired the model. I paid, I had to pay her to come and be in my video.

20:58That's how much I miss you. I'm not having to go out there. Yeah, but you didn't need to hire a model. You could have hired a fucking bloke that woke up in a weenie bin and that would have been a fair enough replacement for me. I miss you. I'm literally still here. I mean, I've spent the whole day with you and I see you a couple of times a week. I held Pete's hand for the, like, literally within two minutes of Loose Women starting up and I could feel, I could feel the twitch in Pete's hand when I held it. Anyone who are not already fucking started this now. Do you want to follow any of the stories?

21:29Oh, sorry. Yeah. Where are we? It's at this point. I can't ask myself questions. So, Pete, I don't know where this has fucking come from. He's suddenly a man of, like, sayings. And I want to get, I want to take this out to the listener, actually, and to the wider team. Is this a fucking saying? He dropped this line, and I'm pretty sure he did it because he wanted the applause at the end. He went, some things are a drop stitch in life's tapestry. And everyone goes, oh, my God. Oh, my God, I love it. It's absolutely fucking beautiful. And I had to stop the audience. I went, we don't know if that's a saying.

22:02I was like, let's just relax here. Where did that come from?

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23:51My name used to say it. It is a saying. And it basically just means like little fucking problems that you have in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. It's a drop stitch. Okay, so next question then is, would you get that on a print in your flat? Absolutely fucking not. No, come on. That's a Pete Wicks coin word. I think we need to actually, we should probably do it. Listen, I went into daytime Pete mode. As we know, I'm not as comfortable as you in those situations. I don't know, mate. They don't like me on daytime. I don't know, that's true. You got a pretty big cheer. From the people that were there, people at home are going and I know that because they've all messaged me on Twitter.

24:32Yeah, do you know what? The first one, Sam, God, I love seeing Sam on the telly and I went to him in the car on the way back, have you checked Twitter yet? And he went, no, I went, let's do it together. The first one for Sam, God, I just love seeing Sam on the telly. The first one for me, all he's ever done is hang off Sam Thompson. It's fucking embarrassing. He's a nobody. I hate seeing him on the telly. I think I'll pass. Well, Graham, how about you go fuck yourself? The other one was, was it Pete and Sam need to be put down from daytime TV. Yeah, banned. There's actually calls now for Sam and I to be banned from, well, I think it was more me.

25:03You do it right on the daytime. No, we were on the same thing. Do you know what the best thing is? Me and Pete got into the car after Loose Women and went, I thought that went quite well. Did all right there? Let's just have a look at what the audience think. Pete and Sam should be banned from daytime. The silence in the car. Don't worry about it, mate. You'll be fine. Mate, do you know what I love about it? It's the silence in the car as we're both scrolling through all this hate mail. And we looked at each other and went, well, it's just online trolls. Because I think we both went in and we did quite well there.

25:35Hopefully some of the feedback is going to be positive. And then you know when it's not, and you're like, oh, fucking hell, that's quite intense. Do you remember, have you ever seen that? Okay, I'm sorry. Actually, this is a really good fucking segue into what you've just done. All right, then. Okay, right. Listen, do you remember, have you seen that meme or like that video of that woman who it's like a while back. She's got a documentary about her life. She's got a new song that's just come out and she's on the phone to the official chart person. She's like, go on then, out with it. What is it?

26:05What am I at? And he's like, and she's like listening to it on the phone. She goes, it's not good, is it? No, none of you have seen it. None of you have seen that. But I agree though, it was a good segue. You're all too young. I'm older than you. It's one of the funniest things. It's one of the funniest things. I'm not even going to bother. Did you? He had to be there. Pete, fuck you. Pete was on the hit list earlier this week. Do you know what? Honestly, as segues go, that is one of the most seamless I've ever heard. That was good. So this is a great segue into this. So there was this meme. And then, oh, you're too young.

26:48Pete was on the hit list. Pete was on the hit list over this weekend. Not with me, actually, which is a little bit rude. No, I wasn't with you. I was on Marv and Rochelle, your best friend's show. It was great. Tasha Guri was my partner. You don't even know each other that well. No, we just did Strictly together for four months. Yeah, but I mean, it would have been nice if I was with you. Yeah, but we can't do everything. Well, just saying. You know, I think sometimes you just, variety is the slice of life, mate. Oh, I like, there's a really good clip that they showed on the hit list where it's like, so who's this?

27:22and you went, not a glue mate. And they go, what would you say if you're wearing clothes? What are you? And you go, style, style. And Marvin basically goes, ist? And you're like, stylist, stylist. He's like, there you go. 10 points to Pete Wicks. I'm not very good at music. I just don't know the fucking name of anything. I'm not very good at it, to be perfectly honest with you. Tasha, like, she's great. Like, loved doing it with Tasha. We filmed it a few months ago, actually. Am I happy with our performance? I'm happy with Tasha's performance. I was pointless, absolutely pointless. Like, genuinely, absolutely no point with me fucking being there.

28:06Unless it's country or something from the 80s, I've got no idea what the fuck's going on. Yeah, but you're more, I suppose, you're more sort of like a girly pop guy, really, aren't you, to be fair? You like your girl pop, your brat summers and that. Actually, Sabrina Carpens just bought out a new album. What do you think about that? Man's best friend. Is it about a dog? No, no, no. Well, I was going to wonder, actually. Is it about Barry Keegan? You was going to wonder, or you are wondering? Wondering. She has an ex-boyfriend called Barry Keegan. The actor? Yes. Do you think any of the songs are about him?

28:33I mean, I've listened to it. Firstly, fabulous album. I've been waiting for it for a long time. And it didn't disappoint. It really didn't. But I did think, as I was listening to some of the songs, I did think to myself, that's Barry. Obviously, they went through the public break, and all that sort of stuff and I did think to myself, oh God, you know, she is being a little bit, so she's a cheeky minx. Yeah. Well, there was a bit of controversy about the album cover. Well, I know. Tell me about it because when I saw it, I thought, God, that is controversial. It's provocative. But that is our Sabrina, you know.

29:09Our Sabrina. Oh, she's just. Don't just love her. I just, honestly, I just love her. She is just my little savvy city. Pete, I do have one question about your most recent holiday in Ibiza. Mm-hmm. Okay. You described yourself as causing chaos wherever you go. And I thought that was one, you know, you know, Have I? You know, have I described myself as that? You did an interview for Kiss. Did I? Yeah. And you stood there and they go, you know. I'll tell you what that is. That's a drop stitch in life's tapestry. And you know what? You know, it's one of my favourite things because I swear to God. Can you imagine me just going, I cause chaos everywhere I go.

29:53I'm such a crazy cat. We've got a plan for you. I called up Pippa instantly and went, we have to put this into the pod. Pete, you're going to give yourself the ick. You literally, you go, God, you know, wherever we go, we just cause chaos. I think we are the chaos. It is so good. Best way to cause chaos in Ibiza. I mean, to be fair, we cause chaos everywhere we go. I feel like going together with the best place to cause chaos. This is actually Liv and I's first time in life. Et cetera. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Listen, sometimes you just can't help being a crazy kid. Yeah. Mate, just get me on the dance floor.

30:31I'm so crazy. Just get away from me. I'm too much. I'm too much. You don't want to be near me. You can't handle the chaos. Honestly, the moment the music comes on, you don't want to be anywhere near me. Oh, you just want to see me letting loose on the dance floor, just cutting shapes, causing chaos everywhere I go, because I'm such a madman. Did you meet the final boss? Tell me you did. We searched high and low, but let me tell you, that's a man that causes chaos everywhere he goes. No, we didn't. He wasn't actually on Ibiza when we were there. I'll tell you what, he's Ibiza final boss that's never in fucking Ibiza now.

31:00He's left Ibiza. He's now touring the other islands, I think. No, I couldn't find him. I looked everywhere. Genuinely, just in the crowd, looking for a Lego man. Couldn't see him anywhere. And this is just for the listeners. You know, we did spot, we always look at your feet now. everywhere you go, especially when the toes are out. And you went for a particular pair of black sliders this time. Is that because we're making a move away from jelly shoes? Or was that like, where are we at with that? I actually took, firstly, and for the last time, they are not jelly shoes. It's a fisherman's sandal.

31:36A fisherman's sandal. I took two pairs with me, both in black and a brown suede. I love the way he explains it. And they were lovely. But yes, I did go with slides this time around. I literally don't have any pictures from my Bootha because I put my phone down and didn't do anything. I have one picture where I tried to cause a little bit of a thirst trap myself. You did 11 topless. I just went with one nipple. If you have a look, there's a nip slip, which I didn't realise until everyone pointed it out. It's like a little brown puppy's nose just poking out from the shirt. And a wide-brimmed hat.

32:14And a wide-brimmed hat. Yeah, it looks like V from Vendetta's on holiday. Yeah, it looked very nice. Thank you. It's like Guy Fawkes having a sunbed. Very stylised. And actually, I think if I had seen you across the way, I would have been like, yeah, that's the kind of guy I want to party with. It was a lot. I mean, it was a lot. I did have a wide-brimmed hat on and a crochet shirt. I would have been like, that's a chaos, though. That's a chaotic guy. Do you know what that picture screams? Chaos. I bet it follows him everywhere he goes. But, yeah. Anyway. No, I do have another question. Oh, excellent.

32:49And I suppose, actually, this kind of loosely ties in. There's a new show called Love is Blind. Now, we got asked about this on Loose Women, right? You know the premise of it, don't you? They both sit in pods, and you can't see each other, right? So you just speak to each other. You have no idea what a person looks like. Well, yeah, exactly. And so you can talk to each other. You can swap stories and all this kind of stuff. And you have to decide who you vibe with the most, and then you get to pick them and then you see them at the end. And it's actually very good because normally what they do is they grimace when they see the other person.

33:23They're like, fuck, what have I done? Yeah. Shallow motherfuckers. But what I was going to say is if you were to do a show like that, what would you be like? Like if you were sat opposite me but we couldn't see each other, do you think we'd get along and do you think we'd pick each other? I don't think we'd fall in love, Sam. Well, how do you know? Because you're a fella. I think that would be the stumbling block. All right, fine. Okay, so pretend I'm not a fella. Okay, so should we rephrase this? How do we think I'd get on if I was on a show and there was a bird the other side? Yeah. I mean, if I have to rely on my fucking chat, then I imagine I will stay single forever.

34:00Okay. If you're behind a wall, the only thing I've got is one good eye. That's literally it. Without that, I'm fucked. I've got one nice blue eye, the other one goes for a walk now and then. Other than that, there's nothing. So that's your opening gambit. it beats its tongue it's gone listen I'm going to be honest with you you can't see me it ain't great to look at the chat ain't great but let's play the fucking game shall we so that's what you're saying you know what I mean by the time when the wall comes up and you see me you're going to wish you were blind how about this right okay hey beautiful

34:32oh it's a challenging wank let's just pretend okay alright okay so we sat in our little pods so am I doing so it's really based on voice as well isn't it so I'll have to go into sort of the voice over voice. Yeah. And I'd be like, hey, what's your name? I'm Danielle. Hi darling, I'm Pete. Oh, fucking hell. That's a bit deep. So what do you do? What do you do, Pete? To be honest with you, I just cause chaos everywhere I go. What about yourself? Well, I'm going to be like, I'm a nurse. You know, I've lived quite a normal life. Why is that funny? I'm a nurse. I like to save with knives. Oh, that's good of you.

35:12is a sort of a hobby rather than a job. What's your name? Daniel or Denise. Which one? Is it dependent on days? Denise on a Tuesday, Daniel on a Wednesday? What would you like me to be?

35:31Sat on my face? Denise. I prefer Denise. Denise, tell me about yourself. How long have you been single, Denise? I can't understand why you are. You've got such a fabulous voice. I've broken up with my boyfriend. I was with them for five years. And, you know, I've decided that I need something else in my life, someone to spice me up. Do you think you could be that guy? Could you contain me? Denise, what are you wearing? I've got some Jimmy Choo boots on, a scarf. Just, sorry. Sorry. Denise, God, stop it. Stop it, Denise. Jimmy Choo's in a scarf. You dirty bitch. No, no, no. I've got dungarees on as well, though.

36:10Jimmy Choo's dungarees and a scarf. So you're obviously into fashion.

36:18I'm learning so much about you. Wait, flip it. I don't feel like I'm a very good girl. Flip it. You be the girl. Your name for me is Antoinette. No, why don't you ask me and I'll tell you. Okay, fine. Sorry. That's rude of me. I'm just going to give you... Yeah, absolutely. I'm giving you your name. Do you know what I mean? You're such a control freak. Okay, fine. Okay, ready? What's your name? No, that's a bit aggressive as well I don't think it was aggressive, it's just what's your name You didn't say what's your name, you slag Okay, fine Hey Chico, what's your name? Hi baby, I'm Amanda Baby Sorry, I'm a devil Oh really?

36:53A little bit of a minx That's what my friends tell me Oh bloody hell, okay, have you got any tattoos? I have, I'm pretty much covered, would you like to see? Well I can't, we're in our pods Well no, you're just going to have to think about it Oh really? I've got some in places that you wouldn't believe. Oh, my God, you've got one under your armpit. Yeah. Would you like to smell it? What do you do for a job? I'm between jobs at the minute. You're between jobs? Yeah. What did you do? I worked in a cat cafe. I love cats. I've got two cats myself. Albus Dumberpour III and Cedric. Oh, amazing. So you love pussy then?

37:34Oh.

37:39Is there a button that they press? What, to eject me? I think that would spice it up. No, look, I've never... No, no, I've got one more question. Oh, sorry. Sorry, darling. So, we picked each other. We vibed. The vibe is strong. And why wouldn't we after that? The vibe is strong. Yeah, well, listen, your vibe attracts my vibe. Your vibe attracts your tribe. Well, that's actually pinned up on my wall at home. Is that something that you like? You're a fucking c***. So we picked each other. We meet in this corridor, right, for the first time. What are you doing if you don't know what you see? Well, let's just imagine.

38:17But it's on TV. So let's just imagine. We'll do it two ways. Let's just imagine the thing's gone up and you have seen me, Amanda. What is your reaction? And it's not what I want. I don't know. You tell me. Is this what you want, big boy? Do you want a piece of this? Well, no, not now. Do you want a piece of this cake? Well, no, I don't want to eat your cake. Do you want a piece of this cake? No, I mean, fine. What?

38:45And that's, I don't like what I see. All right. So give me the face. I feel like it's going to be very similar to when we don't win an award. It'll be this, buddy. What? Oh, my God, hi.

38:59Yeah. See, the problem is, obviously, I know you. So I know when you're lying. and that's because the squid's worse than ever. Hi. Okay, nice. What about if you're really happy with what you see? What would you say? I'd probably be like, oh, my God, hi. You're absolutely stunning. Okay. What about you, though? What are you doing? If you're not liking what you see. So let's do that and the wall goes up. Well, you meet down a corridor. You do the long walk and then you come together at the end. All right, so I'm turning the corner and then I'll see you for the first time. Oh, for fuck's sake. All right.

39:36But you're on TV, so you've got to pretend. Do you? One of my favourite things is when you can see right through it from the very beginning. It's so good, and they have to go and live with each other. What, they then have to go and live... Fucking, it was an intense show, this, didn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have to go and live with each other, mate, and you can tell immediately... If I didn't like what I said, I had to go and live with each other, I'd say, I'd tell you what, we're better off... Let's sleep in the same bed. I'd make a divide. We were better off when we couldn't see each other.

40:01You go and sleep in that room, I'll sleep in this room, and we'll pretend because we were good then. Do you know what the best thing is? Do you know how much Pete would love this show is that you have to live in the same apartment and sleep in the same bed? We've only just met them. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, listen, if you're happy with what's available to you, then great. If you're not, then that's a fucking struggle, isn't it? God, I hope they do a celeb, love is blind, and they plonk you in. That would be so, so funny. They couldn't just plonk me in there. It caused too much chaos.

40:33Anyway, now on to a bit of housekeeping. Oh, we love to keep house. So, very exciting news. We love a bit of exciting news here, don't we? We love dumping it all over you. Oh, gosh. Sorry. So, we are doing the O2, which is fucking amazing, September 19th, and thousands of you have bought tickets for that, and that is fucking great. We are very sorry that we are only doing one show. We just couldn't get up and down the country. But we didn't stop thinking about you. So we are going to be live streaming the O2 show. It's going to be available on an app and a website called lounges.tv, which means that you can watch online, mobile web, or in the lounges.tv app.

41:17So those of you that can't be there in person will be able to actually watch it. We've not done this before. It's going to be fucking interesting, to say the least. but it just means that as many of you can watch if you want to. You can watch us across the globe. Across the, I want millions. Across the globe. You can watch us, you know, if you can't get to London, you can watch us in Doncaster, Scunthorpe, you know, Cheshire. You can watch us from your bedrooms. How wild that's going to be. Exactly. You can watch us from your bedrooms. From your living rooms. From your living rooms. Bring the family around.

41:48On the train, wherever you want, you'll be able to watch us. Hopefully it's going to be... Fucking mental. and hopefully some of you want to. Maybe we've just hit capacity with the people that are coming to London and maybe that's because no one else wanted to. But if you do, we are going to be doing that. The link for tickets is going to be in this episode description and we'll be posting all over our socials about it. So you'll see more about it. But yeah, we are going to be live streaming it for those of you that can't actually make it. And just on another note for that, yes, it is a small fee to do that, but a proportion of the funds will be going to two very important charities to us, ADHD UK and Dogs Trust, which is part of the reason that we're doing this whole thing as well.

42:32We're going to be coming into your living rooms. We are going to be coming. We'll be coming wherever the fuck you want us to. Yeah, anywhere. For once, Sam is right, we're going to be coming in your ears. Yeah, and your eyeballs because you're going to be watching us on live stream, baby. And what you're going to watch, you're going to love. Yeah, it's going to be a full, staying relevant facial. And we are getting so fucking close. We are getting so close. And let me tell you how prep's going. It's real bad. We are now in September and we are behind. We are smashing it. I'll tell you what. We're doing some big things.

43:09The only thing I'm smashing is my head against the wall. But we're going to do it. This is it. We're going to do it. The biggest night of our lives. But yeah, there is still a lot to do. But yeah, we promise we are trying our hardest to make sure it's an amazing show. And, you know, we're glad that we couldn't have more people there and we couldn't go across the country. So hopefully the live stream kind of makes up for it a little bit for those who actually want to see it. But of course, if you don't, then go fuck yourself. In true staying relevant passion. Right, that's it for this episode. because I'm getting quite sweaty.

43:47We love you so, so, so much. Thank you for listening to this podcast hosted by two best friends back from their consecutive trips and ready to rock your world. Rate reviews, all of that shit. You know the score. At Staying Relevant Podcast for socials, all of that shit. Yeah. We love you. Yeah, okay. This has been a Staying Relevant production. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden, or maybe on the golf course, can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance.

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46:29We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.