145: Sam and Pete in a love triangle?!

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1:43Welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two duos of best friends. No, it's just the one duo. Yeah, I just realized that, as I said it, just a couple of best pals, really. me Sam Thompson and Peter James Jonathan Joseph Witt that little intro is sort of a lesson in just sticking to what you know yeah yeah and as we're sticking to what we know then we'll be swearing if you don't like it just off you go ta-da great reviews all of that stuff we haven't read the reviews recently we haven't so maybe we'll be doing that actually we might put in a little bit where we read some reviews so if you'd like to be read out in the reviews just yeah just write St.

2:24Dan as long as it's nice. Make sure you follow us on socials at Staying With Every Podcast, Josh's YouTube channel, which I think is steaming towards 110 ,000 subscribers, which is delightful stuff. Yeah. Oh! 107. Yeah, you go. 107. He's gaining sort of like a 500 a day at the minute, the man. It might have something to do with his new haircut, which looks wonderful, Josh. We're going to have to get a new plaque soon. Do we have a plaque? Is it right? Oh, yeah. When does it get here? These things take a while. Do they? Excellent. Have we re-registered for one? We're in the process. Fuck yeah. Followed all of that crap.

3:02You know the deal by now. Sam, let's just crack on, shall we, with you? It's a very big day for the two of us. We're off to the NTAs today. And you know, you know we love it. What's going to happen? Who the fuck knows? Who's going to get chased down the carpet? Who's going to be the one doing the chasing? Well, I think we know the answer to both of those questions already. It's Ant and Dec and you. I would love to see you lose your mind, though, at somebody. What if Stephen Graham rocks up? There's a fair chance today I will lose my mind. Yeah, that's because he's going to be annoyed. Stephen Graham rocks up on the carpet, right?

3:40And I haven't seen him, so I'm not running after him. And he looks like he's about to swerve at us, not because he wants to, because he just hasn't seen us at the end of the carpet ready to interview. And the lady's gone, Pete, you need to flag him down. What are you doing? Steve. Steve. Steve. Not even Steve. Alan. Steve. Well, there's a way to approach people that doesn't involve harassing them, which is just, would you mind having a chat, pal? Pal. You know what I mean? Pop yourself over here. I would love to see Stephen Graham. I've never met him, you know. Do you know who I'd really like to see as well?

4:15Louis Theroux. Still never met him. Does he not turn up to the NTAs? I've never seen him at the NTAs. and this is do you know what's mad I was talking about this the other day this is going to be my 12th NTAs that's up there for me as well to be fair in a fucking yeah for both of us this has got to be we're old hands now Peter yeah second year hosting the red carpet we were hoping for sort of a bump up from last year but nope Joel's still kicking about do you see what Joel said about us by the way when our lovely team interviewed him after our photo shoot. No. He was like, he goes, are you invited to, are you excited to do the NTAs with the boys?

4:57He goes, I'm excited for the NTAs. We love Joel. He's such a good guy. He was like, he said that we were like stepkids that you love, but you didn't have to love. Well, it's going to be interesting today because last year, Sam was up on stage. Was it last year? It was. It was last year. Sam was up on stage because the jungle won. This year is going to be slightly different. Well, we don't know. We also presented an award last year. Last year we presented the award which Strictly won, which was weird because at the time I was just starting Strictly. But under embargo, weren't you? Under embargo, so we couldn't mention anything.

5:30This year I think we're presenting an award again. We are. We're presenting an award together. I actually know what our walkout, there's a joke. We've got a joke that we're walking out to. Is it, here comes a pair of ****? Welcome to the stage, pair of ****. So basically you're walking on with a dog, right? What? You're walking on with a dog onto stage at the NGAs. But they haven't, I can't walk on with a dog. You're walking on with a dog with a lead. You're walking on with a dog and you're like, this is Monty or whatever the fuck the dog's called, right? And then you're going to go, oh, there's also, what is it?

6:02And there's also one other guy who we're trying not to get to pee on the floor. Sam, out you come. And then I'm like, hey. Is that actually the cat? I think, yeah. I don't know a thing about that. What about walking a dog on stage? It's just a dog on stage. Yeah, no, but there's also thousands of people screaming. Has anyone ever screamed at the NTAs? Quietest thing in the world. It's just quite loud, isn't it? All right, fine. Okay, we're walking a dog on. Excellent. Are we actually doing that? Yeah, we are. I didn't come up with a gag. Why the fuck has no one done? Why do I not know this? I got sent it yesterday.

6:33Why does he know this? I got sent it yesterday. This is fucking... I'm the one that likes to know things. He doesn't care. Why does he know when I don't? Do you know what the best thing is? I didn't even read it. I just went, cool. Oh, excellent. So they've actually, maybe we are moving up in the world. Yeah, we're giving out an award. I wonder how they introduce us though. That'd be really fun. It's going to be a great day. He's a pair of c***. Mate, honestly, I really hope they do. It's good. But the thing is, we take the piss and look, they are, the NTAs is quite, it's quite a long, quite a long day, but it is going to be really, really fun.

7:05There's always a talking point, I feel like, you know, from the red carpet to actually going there. Like last time, I gave you a shout out last time when I was on stage. Yeah. I know I won't be getting the same. You will not. You are correct. Why? Because, well, if Strictly win, I have been asked to do the speech. And I have no idea why, because I wasn't even in the final. But Strictly aren't going to be there. So there's basically no one, none of the dancers are going to be there, none of the production, no one from Strictly is going to be there, because they're actually recording today the first show, the first kind of when everyone kind of does their first dance you know when they do group dance that's the one i was looking for so actually recording it today so and chris mccalsand is there as well because he'll be doing his oh yeah so chris isn't going to be there so um they have asked me to do the speech if strictly wins uh so i hope um i hope strictly wins but i also don't really want to do the speech because people are just going to be like why the fuck is he doing No, you'll get a rapturous reception.

8:09I don't think they will. Why would I do it? I'm going to stand up there and be like, go Peter! Go Peter! So we'll see. We'll see what happens. But it is going to be a long day because we are obviously here recording. It took me two hours to get here this morning because there's fucking tube strikes. Yeah, that's a sandwich. Yeah, which was fun. So we're going to have to get from here back to where I came from. So I've come two hours here to go two hours back. The best thing is I'll be in the car with you. So you get an hour and a half with me in the car when it's boiling hot in the car, probably asking if we're there yet.

8:43Thankfully, I bought my AirPods. No, we're not doing that. I find it really weird. Pete, when everyone in the fucking car with him will put his headphones in. It's the rudest out of rude, is that? He just literally goes, right, I'm down and just puts his headphones in. And they're wired. I'll tell you why I do that, because it gives me some time to listen to my breathing exercises and stuff. But also it's because Sam sits next to me and just doom scrolls TikTok. So all I hear in the background is TikTok noises and trends. I don't know what they are, but let me tell you something about TikTok from my personal experience is that it's all fucking annoying.

9:18Don't you want to flick my beam? Yeah, and that's just playing. But what Sam likes to do is he watches it and he sits there and initially, this is Sam's face as he watches a TikTok video for the first time, he goes... and then when it finishes, he'll go up and then go down to watch it again. And then he'll go up and down, and then the laugh will come on the third one. And you look at that. It's four times you have to watch each video that he likes. So that's why I put my AirPods in, because it does my fucking head in, because I don't want to sit in traffic. Bear in mind as well, let's just point out, I've added this up now.

9:55It's now Wednesday. I have been in a car this week for a total of nearly 20 hours. Have you slept? In the car? No. No, I haven't. I haven't slept in the car. Why don't we have a little shut-eye together in the car journey on the way to the O2? Because this week, and as we're building up to our show at the O2, I'm not sleeping at all. Yeah, but we can have a little shut-eye in the car. I have spent 20 hours in a car this week and six hours in a bed. Fact. That's pretty wild. Yeah, it's wild. I'm going to die soon. But we can cuddle. What? We can cuddle up in the car. We can have a little snooze on each other.

10:29We absolutely cannot do that. We absolutely can. On to more important things, though, because I presume this is not your outfit for the NCAAs. No, it's not. Do you know what? It could be. Are you going in a Chargers American football shirt? No, I'm not. I'm going in the same Navy suits I went in last year. What happened to the Forest Green? I don't know, man. I've got this new jacket made, and I feel like I was really excited. I told Pete about it, and I was like, I'm going to wear this for the NCAAs. I'm going to tell you what happened to it, because I said to Sam this morning, he came in and he went, I haven't gone with a green number.

11:02No. And I said, why? And he said, what did you say to me? I went, I've got to spend... I just, I need some more time with it. Yeah, yeah, I do. I do, I need more time with it. I need to get to know it more. Well, you're not going to get to know it more if it's in your fucking wardrobe. You'll get to know it a bit better if it's on your fucking back, don't you? I just put it on, I just put it on. And you know when you're like, it fits perfectly. I told you what to wear with it. Yeah, but I just, It just didn't feel right. And I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to do it to myself on the NCA. So I went, do you know what?

11:31There'll be that. Another day will come where like, I've just had a bit more time with it and I've let it breathe and I've let it settle in. So you actually could have worn your forest group. I basically said to Peter. I couldn't actually, because it never fucking came. It's actually arriving tomorrow, which is really annoying because it means I now have to get through tonight without my hip flask. Are we going to booze? What? Are we going to get boozy? I fucking, no. This, for the first time, I may completely skip the after party. Wow. Fuck me up the shitter. Yep. This will be, so for the past 11 years, I have after partied the fuck out of the NTAs.

12:07So I'm stood by the bar at the O2 after party, which is actually like in the basement of the O2. And Danny Dyer, the older actor Danny Dyer, comes up to me and goes, hey, where's your pal? Where's Pete? And I was like, what? And he goes, you tell me when you find him. I didn't know you guys were that close. Yeah, I love Danny. He's fucking great. He's, yeah. I think you'd left at that point as well. He's a journalist though, isn't it? That's the only art piece. So actually that's what it's become is mostly journalists. So I normally pop into the after party and then I pick the brigade of people that I would like to join me at another venue, Stringfellas.

12:44Yeah. And then you sort of like cart them all out, don't you? I don't cart them out because that sounds a little bit like I sort of throw them all in the back of the van. By a horse and carriage. But yeah, I won't be doing that. I'm going to be not going to Stringfellas tonight. I'm going to be good and I'm going to go home. I have an early start tomorrow. So I'm well behaved. He's well behaved. He's shaking while saying that, but he is going to be well behaved. On the red carpet, anything goes. And I mean fucking anything. I mean, we're going to be sat down on the floor tonight. Yeah. You have obviously, and I, weirdly enough, just only because of, you know, strictly.

13:25We used to be up in the boxes, which was fun. Yeah. You've been on the floor for a while now because you are daytime Sam. Daytime Sam. So we've had this morning, Loose Women and Lorraine. You've done the rounds. You had to do Lorraine with me this week. I didn't want to. I know. You pulled out. No, no, no. It's not that I didn't want to. I couldn't. I was in Manchester, so I wasn't able to do it. But you held the thought. I watched it. Did you watch it? I watched it on the way in this morning. Did you say when I said I was going to lube you up? Well, yeah. I mean, it was interesting because Lorraine started with the fact that you unstiffened me.

14:05Yeah.

14:09Then you said, yes, I'll lube you up. Yeah. Not to Lorraine. I wouldn't lube up Lorraine. I accused her of not coming on the podcast. Yes. Yeah, you did. How was it with Lorraine? She's so lovely. She loves us, which is so sweet as well. She missed you. She was like, where's Pete? And I was like, he's working at the moment. So you've only got me. And you could see her face visibly drop. She was like, ah. I love the ring. She's great. But yeah, she still says she wants to come and do the podcast. But I don't know whether she's joking at this point or not. I mean, I'm literally, I'm like, you can come on whenever you want.

14:39So like, just whenever you want, you could just come in. She's like, yeah, no, no. We're going to make it happen. You know, someone goes, we're going to make it happen. You're like, no, that's never happening. Do you know what's weird about Lorraine, Maya Jammer, all these people that you ask to come on the podcast, none of it happens. Yeah. They all tell you it's going to happen. Why is that, Sam? What are you doing? Because I shoot for the stars, mate, you know. I'm going for the top tier. She actually described us, so I'm just doing a little bit of research now, as yin and yang. Yeah. Ying and yang.

15:11If anyone knows what yin and yang is, there's the black and there's the white. Do you think you're yin or yang? Yeah. I don't know which one's which. So that's... I'm going to have a little look here. So Yang is... Well, I'm the white one. Yang is white with the black dot. I'm Yang. And Yin is black with the white dot. I say I'm Yang. So... Oh, yeah, it could be. So Yang, which is white, is the active, expansive, bright and warm aspect, like day. Yeah. Or the masculine. Ooh. Yin is the passive, receptive, dark and cool aspect, like knight or feminine. It's weird that though, isn't it? Because we're kind of similar to both things other than the masculine and feminine.

15:59Yeah, but then saying that, you are the manliest man. Sam and I did a job this week where we had to guess the comments of the other person and I don't know what happened there. Oh, that was so good. Sam's was, one of the comments on Sam's pictures was these, the manliest man. And Sam has basically taken over. The thirst trap inside of it is basically now everyone loves Sam. The comments are all about how wonderful Sam, the smoulder, the most masculine man. It's almost like Sam smoulders all the time. I don't think I've ever smouldered in my life. I think she got that wrong. I think she got that wrong because everything that they were saying sounded like it was describing you.

16:36We got none of them right. None of them right. I mean, one of mine was, God, he's always so happy.

16:44I don't think that's the case But your outfits For daytime have been impressive Yeah There has been one kind of common theme throughout the outfits Okay And that is your little beady necklace Oh no no I know it's gone a little bit orange A little bit orange Yeah Sam I didn't know beads could rust Do you remember the little Gucci belt? That was white Yeah this used to be white Mate, it's amber. I know, it's because it's come off in the shower. Are you sure? Or is it just where you've been fake tan and you've also done the beads? No, I haven't fake tan anymore. I haven't fake tan anymore. Although, maybe I might have a little spritz later for the N.T.

17:25Izzles. The what? The N.T. Izzles. Oh, sometimes you just, you make me want it. The N.T.A.'s. No, I understood. It was just the N.T. Izzles. Why, who's doing that for you? I don't know, it's on whoever's there. I feel like someone will have a little bit of spree. The O2 doesn't have like an in-house spree turn team. I know, but just a little bit of like, you know, when you do one of them on your face. Quite nice. Okay. Have you got a glam squad turning up? No. I'm using yours. I have got a glam squad turning up. I'm going to be using whoever Pete's got. Who have you got? Marcos. Yeah, we love Marcos.

18:00He's a lovely guy. Marcos is with me all the time now. He's a really good guy. Because I look so fucking old. I've taken the piss out of Sam. I've fully got a glam squad now. When I say glam squad, it's one guy. Yeah. But either way. Do you know what? I quite like the look of a glam squad because they take photos of you as well. They do all this. It's weird. I've worked with quite a few girls now. And, like, they all... What? What? You said, like, he was saying to be proud of, like, you branched out. I've worked with quite a few girls now. I've worked with a few girls now. And their glam squad is like their managers.

18:39You notice that? The glam squads, they're basically like, glam squads for girls are kind of like best friend, assistant, confidant type people, aren't they? They're kind of the ones in the know. They're kind of the, yeah, you look great, honey. Like dance mums. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, is that dance mums? Do they say good stuff or do they say bad stuff? They kind of say, you're fat. Oh, no, they don't do that for glam squads. They sort of like fat shame their kids. Oh, no, that's not them then. You're ugly, you're butters. Let me put some makeup on your face. The motivational mums.

19:14Yeah, okay. Do you know what I mean? They kind of do that, don't they? You got this, sweetie? Yeah, exactly. Which, funnily enough, is what Marcos does to me. At the end of the shoot the other day, he messaged me just saying, you did great today, well done. No way! We love Marcos, he's great. Actually, talking about dance mums, because that is a show, by the way, out on one of the streaming platforms. Mate, look, I know you've been on the edge of your fucking seat, Peter, okay? And I know you like your Love Island updates, but Love Island's obviously done for now. We have a far bigger show that's out.

19:48Yes, it's another Summer I Turn Pretty update. Comrade and... Yeah, Jeremiah! Slay Queen? Yeah, yeah, bitch. So by the time this comes out, the finale will be about to air. Who's belly going to pick? We still don't know. Could it be Conrad? Could it be Jeremiah? So just a really good front night. Is it a reality show though? No, no, it's a series. It's just like a fantasy series. Oh, it's a fantasy. No, not a fantasy. It's just like, it's like Maple Leaf. What is it? No, it's just like a TV drama. It's fiction. It's fiction. That's what I was looking for. It's fiction. So just a little update if you didn't know.

20:28So remember, Jeremiah cheated on Belly when he was in Cabo. Okay. but he was only 21 years of age and he didn't really feel like Belly loved him and Conrad has never really been able to fully commit and by the way, most recently, spoiler alert went up to Belly after Jeremiah Stagdew on the beach and said to her I still love you don't marry my brother and that's where we've left it right where are you? still think she should go with Edward. Which one's Edward? I don't know. Which, where do you stand? If you had to stand on either side? I would stand sort of as far away from Belly as possible. Oh, do you think Belly's the problem?

21:18Do you know what's wild? I don't know who Belly is. Yeah, but I think that Belly's a bit of a problem, you know. Well, you know what I mean? She's playing two games. They're brothers. Us blokes get a tough rap in that. The big whore. Well, she's still young. But, like, I just... All right, the big young whore. She's, like, 23, I think. She's, like, sort of... All right, the big young 23-year-old whore. But, I mean, it's weird, though, because I'm Jeremiah. I'm Team Jeremiah all the way. And I think most girls are Team Conrad, because he's, like, open with his feelings. He's, like, a crier. But, like, I'm a crier, and I'm open with my feelings, but I'm still Jeremiah.

21:54Okay, why are you Jeremiah? Please explain it to me, because I just can't understand it. Okay. So I feel like Jeremiah is the kind of guy who, well, he cheated on her and Carbo, but again, 21 years old and he didn't think she loved him. And then he immediately proposed to her. And then he says, oh, you're still in love with Conrad. And she didn't deny it. How sad is that for him? Slag. I just think that maybe we should be putting a little bit of weight on Belly's name at the moment, you know, instead of these two boys. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, totally. I just think that it's... The common denominator in this entire thing is obviously her, you know?

22:34She's the one that is the catalyst and the centre of all of the problems. So really, if you take Betty out of it, then they can go back to being brothers and they can find two new ladies, you know? Just saying! That would be the thing. And Betty can ride off into the sunset with, you know... Darren! Edward. I completely agree with what Pete just said there. Completely agree. I think that you could just let the brothers be brothers. You're tearing your family apart. But what if me and you were in a love triangle?

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24:41You can have her. So quick. She's all yours, mate. Enjoy yourself. What if you loved her? Eh? What if you loved her? I can switch that stuff off like a light. Okay. Okay. What if, right? What if... Okay, I'm going to put myself, I would never do this to you ever in my life. I want you to know that now. What if you were madly in love, wildly in love with Belly, right? Well, that would be a turn up for the books just to start off with. You are, she's beautiful. Oh, well, in which case, I'm all in. So, you were madly in love with her. You were getting married to her the next day. I was your best man.

25:21I went to your stag do. and that morning after the stag do, I approached your soon-to-be wife on the beach. You can open your eyes when you tell a story. And I went up to her. Yeah. And I went, I still love you. Don't marry my best friend, Pete. Yeah. Pete, you haven't listened to my point. Where are you? Fuck's sake. What would you do? What would I do? I've approached your soon-to-be wife on the beach. So you've actually pursued her onto the bed. I'd cut you. Okay, fine. Okay, so here we go. Right. So, you know, you'd be pretty angry. I'd be angry. You'd be dead. So, and that kind of solves all the problems.

26:07But what if Belly was like, what if she was sort of leading me on as well? You'd both be dead.

26:13So, and it'd be tough. But obviously, if we're talking about it in our scenario, it would be tough, but I would get probably a multi-million pound Netflix documentary out of it. You know? Summer I turned a murderer. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it would go on. It would, you know. I think that's probably what would happen. What would you do? What would you do? If you declared your love, if you declared your love for my wife, the soon-to-be wife. And I said to you, listen, I know you're back to marry her, but me and her have got a thing. No, no, you'd have to say it to her. I found out that you've gone up to her.

26:49So I've said to her, listen, jump over here. I'll show you a good time. All right. And then you heard that I said that to her. What are you doing? Well, no, because you've confessed love. So confess love, confess love. Jump over here. I'll show you a good time. It's my version. I'm in my head imagining Pete has actually gone like, I love you. Like this is really terrible. Yeah, I love you. Jump over here. I'll show you a good time. What are you doing?

27:21I'm probably just like... You're going to reverse? I just feel like I'm not a confrontational guy. And I feel like I'm like, if you want, if you want... Oh, you'd let me have her? Well, I just feel like if she's thinking about it, if she's thinking about it, it's probably not right to marry her. Well, that was a very mature thing. Yeah, I feel like... And then how do you think that will affect our relationship? Well, this is what I'd actually probably get onto. This would be the harder thing to build because I'd be like, you didn't come to me first. You know, you approached her on the beach and, you know, you...

27:55Is there... Would it have made a difference if I'd approached her in the park? No. No. So why do we keep mentioning the beach? Well, because that's where it happens, you know. Right. You keep mentioning her on the beach and... Sort of south end. I think I'd probably... I think I'd probably be... I'd be distraught, actually. I'd be absolutely distraught. You know, I'd probably, I'd call your mum. You'd call my mum? I'd call your mum. I'd be like, why has he done this? I'd be like, I need to understand. And I'd probably, I'd call your agent. Right. So you'd speak to everyone except me about the situation.

28:33Yeah, I'd call her. Right. And what are you hoping that they're going to tell you? Try and explain to me why you've done what you've done. Oh, because, because I love her and she's going to pop over here for a good time.

28:47I would be so upset I'd be I'd tears crying yeah you want to do it now don't you he's like find a missus so I can do this to him yeah a little bit well look before we move on if anything I am probably I'm the last person that would ever do that to you no I know you are that's why it hurts so much however I do feel like you potentially do it to me in all honesty fuck off I do feel like Which is, to be perfectly honest with you, that's probably why I'm emotionally unavailable to everyone. It's just because if it happens, I go, oh, that's that. And then I, oh, well, on to the next. I will never forget the time I tried to slide into a girl's DMs and she told me she's going on a date with my best friend that weekend.

29:33My response was, I'll cancel it. You can go if you want. She goes, see your best mate. I went, ah. I didn't scream that over a voice note to her, but that's how I felt inside. Just before we move on though, mate, let's just plant our flags in the ground. Oh, we don't have to move on. I'm enjoying it so much. Let's plant our flags into the ground really quick. All right, I'm going to plant my flag. Where would you like me to plant it? I'm going to plant mine on the beach. For the final time, Team JMI or Team Conrad? What am I, Pippa? Conrad. Why? I'm Team Conrad. Why are you? I'm a few episodes behind.

30:07Oh, okay, fine. It's just the general consensus. I think it's the right thing to say. Yeah, see, it's not there, JMI. Jeremiah's the boy alright well if that's the general consensus then and the right thing to say is comrade then I'm team Jeremiah yeah my good my boy my good my boy it's my man yeah okay yeah yeah my good my boy my melon great alright well I'll tell you what I'll tell you something big that's happening later this week yeah I'm interviewing a crush of mine wonderful yeah who Lily James who the fuck is that English Rose actress She's in the English road? No, no, she's just like an English road.

30:46Oh, right. She's just beautiful, girl-next-door vibes. Oh, that is exciting. Yeah, I'm really nervous. Talk to me about it. Well, she's basically doing, she's in a new movie, and so I'm doing an interview with her, but I fancied her since The Darkest Hour came out, the Winston Churchill movie. You just type it up. What's The Darkest Hour? Is that sort of that Tuesday in January for you? You've definitely seen it. She was so, she's Cinderella, I think, wasn't she? Yeah, she's Cinderella. Wonderful. I mean, look, that's exciting for you. Is she single? I think she is. Well, if she's single, then you, sir, are not in with a shout.

31:20Because she has reportedly said that she has an ick for men who use voice notes on dating apps. Oh, no. So, you know, what do you think your chances are? You are in your thirst trap area. You've got your new hair and you glow up and your suntan. But I do like a voice note. And all your new tattoos and all that sort of stuff. You're a cool cat. your earring. Do you think she would swipe left or right for you? Which one's good? Probably, probably. She'd probably do give me an X because I do, I do like a voice note on a dating app. I'm afraid I'm not going to lose that. But do you think you could, you could get past that?

31:53Do you think she could get past that? Do you think your animal magnetism, charisma, and just general sense of humour and good looks could, could kind of push past that initial ick? Help me here. What? So we sit down, go for the interview. Pete, how do I, how do I sort of like? Well, that's probably not. Navigate it. Yeah. Well, unless you're a barn owl, I don't think that's going to do much for you. A barn owl. Mate, you've just got to pick up on the vibe, really. Just see if her vibe matches your vibe. God, Jesus Christ. I don't think I'm going to be calm. I mean, you know what happens. Well, you know, we love a role play on this show.

32:31So pretend I'm Lily James. Miss James. Miss James. Miss James. Okay, excellent. You're giving her the power straight away. Miss James. It's not even Miss, it's Miss. Okay, wonderful. for shall I talk yep so what are you interviewing her for just a movie that she's in okay excellent so go on then so start interviewing me for the movie but what I want you to do whilst doing the interview is throw in subtle kind of pickups and just subtly kind of let her know you're interested absolutely fine without saying Miss James I love you okay fine alright here we go Lily James that's me yes a real honour actually to have you in this studio we are both contractually obliged to be here I've been watching you from afar for a very long time and I think it stems from my darkest hour that sounds like I've been watching her since I got depressed okay but the movie you were in darkest hour yes I remember Did you like being in that movie, Darkest Hour?

33:43Yes, it was a wonderful movie to be a part of. Did you... Was it fun to be part of the cast? Similar to the previous question, yes, I really enjoyed being part of the movie. I'm glad. You were very beautiful. Funnily enough, this could now be my Darkest Hour. You were very beautiful in the Darkest Hour. Okay, but not now. No, but you're stunning now. Fuck me. wow okay so beautiful in the darkest hour and now fuck me stunning wow yeah so now i've just got snot coming up okay lily i've always wondered yes sam where the talent comes from

34:28where does your it's it's mainly hard work um training um and you know some would say a natural gift for you know acting like i i'm acting like i want to be here now and i and i and i see you're from surrey isha i believe to be exact um yes um lovely place isha it's fuck it's golf courses everywhere i don't play golf your family still live there uh no um my family live in la do you like your family yeah i'm quite fond of them

35:11lily yes oh jesus christ oh no um no let me just recompose quickly just for my ending okay would you like me to give you a minute lily do you know we could take an hour of your time we can't actually take it out of your time but it's like i could have an hour yeah i mean i i choose kind of what to do with my time. It's not for you to... I'd love an hour of your time, Lily. What would you do in that hour? Just interview you more. Okay. So we'd carry on this for an hour. Right. Lily, it's been a fucking pleasure, actually, to have you in this studio. Okay, thank you. Thank you so much. Your new movie, which isn't on the iPad, is out soon.

35:54It's not on the iPad because I'm not actually Lily James. In cinemas. Yeah. sometime in the near future. Thank you so much. Here we go. Wait, two seconds. Swiped. It's the movie. Oh, it's called Swiped. So Swiped is out. And hopefully that's what you'll be doing with me on the dating apps. Or is that a bit full on though, if I say that? No, you're doing great. Should I be like, should I be like, should I be like, so movies, oh my God, that's what I'm going to start with, genuinely. I'm going to be like, so new movie Swiped. One of my favourite things as an actress is doing these kind of press junkets and having people interview me who know nothing about me.

36:36Yes, it does. It is so fun. That's the worry. Well, actually, I'll finish it by saying this. It was always you and Natalie Portman from Star Wars, the Clone Wars, Attack of the Clones. Please remove him. So, as a practice, what I would say, if you are looking for Preston Lee James, is don't turn up. don't go don't go it's just terrifying because I've already it's better to leave her wondering and wondering sorry it's better to leave her wondering and not knowing you than knowing you and knowing you're a absolutely no no chance I mean do you think you're going to be sort of fine and calm or do you think you're going to act like that in between there's an in between that is there yeah I think so there'd be an in between yeah okay I mean if If you did actually sense a bit of, you know, a bit of chemistry between the two of you, are your bollocks now big enough to go for that?

37:34No, absolutely not. Absolutely not, because you wouldn't know. There'd be no way to know. You would, you sense chemistry. No, I can't sense shit, mate. I'm like a snake. They've got good senses, actually. They sense with their tongue. Every time they whip their tongue out of their mouth, they can sense. They're actually one of the best senses in the planet. That was a terrible example. I'm like a naked mole rat. Although, actually, no, because they're blind, so they can sense, so you wouldn't believe. I'm not someone that can't sense anything. Basically, you can't sense anything. Okay, all right.

38:04Whatever animal that may be. Wonderful. A millipede. All right, well, good luck with that. Thank you, sir. But having seen the picture, if it doesn't seem to be going well for you, perhaps just... I'll wheel you in. Wheel me in? I'll just wheel Pete in. Hi, Lily, really nervous. So here's Pete Wicks to tell you how much I love you. This is why I don't do these press junkets. I just use it as an opportunity to try and find a wife. I mean, it'd be absolutely... No one's come on to me in any junket. In fact, Zoe Kravitz, I think, thought I was a bit of a loser. No. Yeah, she was with... Did you ask her where her family live and if she likes them?

38:44No, but that would have actually been... But she's an Epo baby, though, isn't she? She's also very talented, though. Not that that's... Her dad's a fucking icon. Not that that. So is her mum, actually. Anyway. What do you think about nepo babies? What do I think? What's your opinion on them? I've never had one. You know what I think, right? I think if they've got fucking talent and they're doing something with their life, then crack on. If they are just the son or daughter of someone and don't really do anything, then I think, you know, fuck off. Yeah. I think that if you come from the loins...

39:22Yes. of a celebrity who has a talent. I think if you just admit you're an Epo baby and you're like, yeah, I get it, I understand, I don't have a problem with it. Oh, okay. So, I mean, you are... It's like Brooklyn Beckham pretending he's a fucking chef. You're not a chef. You are incredibly famous. You're the nation's sweetheart and a national treasure. So if you have kids, if you can find someone, your child will be a Nepo baby. No, they'll be like a half Nepo baby. Well, I don't know, Sam. You are, you know. No, because I just don't think, that's a bum out Nepo child. You're not even Nepo child.

40:04Oh, granted. Like a Jenny Kravitz, you're Sam Thompson. Yeah. But by that point, you know, I imagine it'll take you a little while before you have kids. By that point, you could be the next big thing. we're gonna have kids though we've discussed this we are not having kids together well I'll tell you who we're not having kids with now is Zoe Kravitz big big news and she's one of your crushes so I just wanna I wanna ask you how you feel about this Zoe Kravitz Harry Styles they're together now are they actually big big news they look like they might be dating this is huge so they look like they might be or they are well people think they are yeah they've been leaving hotels together Excellent.

40:46What do you think about this pairing, Peter? I mean, off the top of my head, it's the first time that I've considered my thoughts on it. I would say, good stuff. How do you feel? You said she was your type last week. How do you feel about, you know, potentially stealing her? How would you go about that? How would I steal Zoe Kravitz from Harry Styles? How would you go about it? Again, this is all, you know, kind of putting me on the spot. It's not something I thought I'd have to deal with today. Out of all the problems I thought I'd have today, I didn't realise that stealing Zoe Kravitz from Harry Styles was going to be one of them.

41:20But now you know. Now you mention it, I can't think of anything else. Okay.

41:28Zoe, I've got a bigger dick.

41:34Is that how you'd start it? Genuinely how you'd start it? I genuinely don't know. I have not met either of them. I have absolutely no sort of concept of any of this and also I'm not entirely sure I want to steal her I mean I said she's stunning but I'm quite happy for him to have her do you know what Harry I'll let you have her alright don't worry this one's on me Harry do you know what I'll bow out of this one do you know what I'll duck out mate I know I know you're struggling I know you're struggling for a bird so go on you add that one you add that one I'll find a Love Islander tonight at the NTAs.

42:14Oh, my God, is Helena going? Bloody hell. Do you want to duck out? Mate, you're going to give that one to Harry because he deserves one, I suppose. Yeah, do you know what I mean? It's a bad time. It's been tough for him. You know what I mean? So in the wild, right, there's different mating noises. Yeah. Sorry. By the way, if anyone's listening to this, watch this on YouTube because some of the face expressions that I've just seen from the confusion on your face when I just said wild was so big. Well, I just didn't realise that we were in captivity currently, although it is starting to feel like that every time I walk into this fucking room.

42:58So in the wild, right, they do, the animals do like, you know, sort of mating noises, right? And obviously we did our flirty animals sort of wuss to each other and meows like meow. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't believe that they were, I think we were just doing the animal noises, but you've sort of changed it now to mating calls. Yeah, but it just started with doing an animal noise and then you kind of made it flirty and I couldn't help but, it's my natural instinct when someone flirts with me is to respond in a flirtatious manner that says, you know what, I'll give you a good time.

43:29Jump over the fence, I'll give you a good time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why am I jumping over the fence now? Sorry, is that because I'm in captivity, so I'm jumping over the fence into the wild? what so first question is you know we've obviously done the the the sort of like the flirty you know flirty meows to each other there is a trend on tiktok that i actually uh i sent in to our producer that i adore and i really wanted to see if you were up for participating in um it's called i mean i don't often get a choice in what i participate in in this fucking podcast so i imagine i'm doing it anyway well you i think you're gonna really like this one yeah it's called nonchalant animal noises okay so basically you do an animal noise but in the most casual unfazed way as possible so so am i a man doing a nonchalant animal noise or am i pretending i'm the animal that is nonchalant you are the man sort of pretending to okay so i can just carry on talking and then just nonchalantly do an animal noise and carry on exactly or am i no you are the animal yeah i I think the trend is actually that I'm a nonchalant animal.

44:37For example, a donkey is like, Hey-yo. Hey-yo. Hey-ya. Hey-yo.

44:47Hey-yo. Hey-yo. Yeah, it's more nonchalant. Hey-yo. Right, got ya. Okay. Now I understand. Give me a nonchalant cow. Meh. And one more. Meh.

45:08Go on, do yours. That was so good. Moo. Sorry? Moo. Moo. Moo. Okay, all right. Cat. Give me a nonchalant cat. Meow. These are, I feel like all of mine are going to sound the same. Because they all involve a shrug and a look to the left. All right, okay, well, meow. That's sort of a slightly irritated cow. Meow, meow. No, that's an irritated cow. Meow. A cat. No, because you don't care. You're like, meow. Fucking hell, I've lost my mind. Meow, give me one of these. Meow. Meow. All right, Sam, I think this is a good one for you. Horse. Okay, right. Nay. Nay. Nay. All right. What's yours?

46:14Jar Jar Binks. Well, I'm just trying not to do the same as you because you can just make the noise and shrug your shoulders, which seems to be what we're doing for every single one. All right, all right, fine. Give me an elephant, give me an elephant. Give me your best elephant. But you don't care. What does an elephant sound like? Ooh. No, it's not that. Okay, so elephant, just to refresh your memory, it's the big sort of gray thing with the big ears and the trunk. I don't think they go... What do elephants do? What the fuck do elephants do?

46:48I swear there's a noise for elephants that I can't remember. That looks like you're making a slightly weird... I mean, what was that? What's the elephant? What noise is an elephant, though? I'll tell you what. play me an elephant noise and then we'll try and recreate it nonchalantly. There was some real quick tap in there. It's podcasting. Oh yeah, that's what it is. No, but you got back like you don't care. So you're like, you don't care. Elephant. Yeah. Yeah. This next one's I think a little bit better. Frog. Ribbit. Ribbit. Podcast won awards. Come on, give us your most nonchalant ribbit you've ever seen in your life?

47:29A bit.

47:35Thank you for listening to Stay Relevant, a podcast hosted by us. If at some point you'd like to come back, please do. Rate five stars, do all of that sort of stuff. Follow us on socials at Stay Relevant Podcast. Oh, do you know what I didn't do at the start, so I'll do it at the end. this is the main episode which means it's Monday so this will come out on Josh's YouTube channel at 5pm on a Wednesday and then we'll be doing a bonus episode which comes out on a Thursday audibly which you'll be able to watch on a Sunday at 5pm on Josh's YouTube channel which means you can catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday Excellent Ta-da Ba-da Who says Halloween only lasts one day?

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49:59Hello Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to Snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.