162: Sam responds to rumours…

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2:11Three, two, one. It's not rocket launch. I know, but rocket launch is the new year. Rocket launching to 2026. Welcome to Staying Relevant. Why didn't you crash the rocket? That's not a good indictment of how it's going to go. Oh, sorry. We're going to the moon. 2026 is going to be our year. First announcement, we're going on tour to the moon. If you thought we couldn't get better than the O2, we have. We're going to space. Mate, do you know you actually can go to space? I know we haven't even done the intro, but welcome to Staying Relevant. We could go to space. Genuinely, just putting it out there, it can happen.

2:54How much money do you think we're earning? I know, but Origin, the Amazon dude, has a space. Yeah, all right, Katy Perry, just do the intro. Yeah, you saw it. Katy Perry, by the way, going out with Justin Trudeau. Shall we say what we're doing? Big news, that. Welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two best friends, a newly rested Peter James, Jonathan Joseph Wicks, and me, Sam Thompson.

3:20This is the start of 2026 for us. It's the first day we're all back in the office together. There will be lots of swearing. There already has been quite a bit. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself. Same rules apply for 2026. So this is a main episode, which is going to be out audibly on Monday. You'll be able to watch it on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel on Wednesday from 5pm. And then there'll be a bonus episode, which will be coming out Thursday audibly, which you'll be able to watch on Sunday on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel from 5pm, which means that you can still catch us on a... Pippa.

3:52Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Why are you pulling your face away from the mic, Pippa? Sometimes it is just me. Make sure you rate, reviewed, all that crap. Follow us on all the socials at Staying Redmond Podcast and subscribe on YouTube. Oh, YouTube? 121 ,000 subscribers. Yeah, we are smashing the fucking life out of it. Phenomenal. The plaque's on the wall, ready to go for the next... What number's the next plaque? One million. The next one is one million, yeah. Yeah. I'll be honest with you. I'll be dead by then. Okay, how about this? How about this? If we get to a million, people get his cock out.

4:34Hooray! There we go. Just, yeah, maybe. Nothing's changed over the Christmas break. I hope you enjoyed the nativity. thank you for all the wonderful comments as you can imagine not my favourite day it was absolutely brilliant you were absolutely fantastic someone called you bangtastic mate on that day you were bangtastic you were so good and you got quite into it by the end sorry I can't get past bangtastic you were bangtidy I was bangtidy you were bangtidy on that day so were you mate Thank you. You were a nice, tidy bang. But it's been a big week already. I'll be honest with you. It's the first week or the first day that we're all in the office together.

5:27The first day that I'm in the office of 2026. And I've left it to the 7th of January. Not the first time Sam has been in the office, though. Because Sam started the year with his first ever Monday meeting. I'm going to clap myself for that one It was a long drive in It was early in the morning Yeah it was 10 o 'clock It was cold out there Yeah he drove in his car Yeah Had a hoodie and overcoat hat on But yeah you braved the temperature I braved it Walked through Gotta say Like well done everyone On that team meeting It was Things do happen Like I It's just Sorry So pre, let's just take it back for a minute.

6:15It's just there's things to say. So pre-team meeting, as it was your first, what did you think Pippa does with everyone? And what do you think we all do on the team meeting? I'd say no, I thought we just sort of sat down. Just find out how everyone's weekend was. You know, have a little bit of chat, bit of this and yap. But it turns out actually quite a lot of work gets done, which was really fun. Yeah. I had a really good time. Very illuminating, actually. I've got to say, it's interesting though on a Monday because everyone's sort of like post, well they were post holiday the energy was down at the start of the morning everyone was sort of like you know people shuffle in you're just like hey everyone are you excited they're like yeah can't wait for the Monday meeting we really are a company we really are it's amazing because we're we're sort of like 18 months in and we just started Sam's just realised we're a company it's amazing you're a boss I'm a boss a founder and CEO oh CEO I'm not a CEO just a founder yeah founder Yeah.

7:12Found it. And we also, actually, we're going to talk about this a little bit later, but we've got some very big news coming up. We've just been in a certain area that isn't this studio, and it's fucking amazing. There is lots to run through. There's a lot to run through. But before we do that, I think it's really important, if we just rewind a little bit. I'll tell you what. Before we get into the actual periods, I think it's important for us to learn about your Christmas. Okay. What did you get for Christmas? Oh, I guess. So we went to mum's for Christmas and Louise got me a... Also, I love that we went to mum's because he doesn't come on his own anymore.

7:50Well, actually, no, he probably still does come on his own. But, I mean, he doesn't go places on his own. The family went to mum's. So who's that? I had a fucking good haul. Me, Louise, Ryan, Leo and Tally were there. And my uncle was there as well, which was really nice. It's a bit of a small Christmas. We invited you. Not only did I invite Pete, I then realised my sister had sent Pete a message. So did your mum. As did my mother. So Pete got the fucking, the trifecta of Thompson's. Well, what they actually did was, Karen did it two weeks before, Louise did it the week before, and you did it of the week.

8:29So it was a three-week sort of staging process of the Thompson's trying. Do you know what I mean? It was like, you know, all right, you try now. No, no, no, no, I've tried. you try I'm surprised your fucking uncle didn't message me if I'm honest with you I went Pete Louise went yeah Pete has replied I went he's not gonna fucking reply I was like there's no he's just he's registered it it's gone in the no reply is a polite decline and that will be it mum same thing Christmas day I did invite Pete but I don't know if I don't know if I've got his number right I don't know if it went through I went again mum it has gone through you will receive a message in a couple of actually Pete said to me this to me I called Pete a couple of days before and I was like look mate just again if you want to come he went your whole fucking family's inviting me sam if i haven't replied i don't want to go but what i am gonna say on this because um so over the christmas period as always what i do is when i say i'm gonna rest and hibernate i mean i'm not going to speak to anyone it's true at like like i don't want to be on my phone i you know like i didn't speak to or reply to anyone it's not a specific vendetta that i have against the thompson family I am very grateful.

9:39I absolutely adore Louise and Karen, and you're okay. So, yeah, it's just not for me, the Christmas period. But everyone kind of understands that now. But that is exactly what I did. I went off radar. I had my curry. What curry did you see? These are the fucking questions we want on this podcast. Some people talk about, like, talk to world leaders. I want to know what you had for a curry on Christmas Day. It was really lovely, actually. I had mostly sundries. I fucking didn't know what that is. So, like, accompaniments. So I had Bombay potato, I had sagaloo, I had some paneer, I had a madras sauce with a beautiful pili dal rice, a garlic naan.

10:24Yeah, it was lovely. All the chutneys and all the pah-pah-dums, it was lovely. Did you get any Christmas presents? I didn't get one present. Pippa, did you not get... Actually, Pippa got you a present. No, yeah, Pippa on... Which you didn't take from the studio. Neither did you. Neither did you. We came in on Monday, but went good to see those. Both of those books haven't left. Okay, just to point out, because now I'm starting to sound really ungrateful here, it's because she gave it on the day of the Christmas party when we were all going out, and I didn't want to carry a book around with me for the evening.

10:54Now it sounds like a shit present. No, but it was a great book. It's a really nice... No, but it's a great book. Yeah, and it's going to go on my coffee table. So, no, I didn't get one present. I didn't unwrap anyone. No one got me anything. Did you wrap anyone a present? Yes. Yeah. I sealed the envelopes. With money aside. Sorry, that was me sealing the envelopes. That was him just not going down on someone. That was him sealing envelopes. It'd be wonderful if I was going down on it like that. That big is a f***ing triangle. Sorry, that was all that. We're back, baby. We're back. Go and fart and let everyone know we're really back.

11:34fart and put it in the jar yeah yeah and then everyone on the way nothing's changed back and better than ever but yeah so yeah so that was that I'm going to get on to the eventful Christmas day bit that I had oh but but just on that period so yeah I had no presents and I had a curry you presumably had the full Christmas I had a fucking good haul I don't mean to sound and the presents wise yeah yeah run me through it well so my sister got me a stocking very sweet like she always done every year. What, like fishnet? What? I got a, what did I get? I got some body scrubs. I got some moisturizers and creams.

12:12Are you a girl? She did give me... You got stockings, moisturizers, creams and body scrubs. I was all over the motions of potions. I didn't. No, I didn't, but I did get a candle. Did you get a candle? Well, we're going to get onto candles because I, me and candles fell out. I mean, I love a candle, but they're quite dangerous. I will move on to that. Okay, well, that's exciting. But no, I had a good haul. And then I got a, this is my, my piece to resist on for Christmas. I got some new pots and pans. Yeah. Over the moon. I know it sounds like I'm getting a bit older. I don't care. I was so happy.

12:46Because I remember a few years ago, you got a walk. Dude, I've now got, I got, I got two pans and two pots, both from the Crucet. I know. Did you hear, if you listen to this, did you hear that? Sorry. I'm just going to take a break and wank off to your pots and pans. Dude, there's zero stickability on them is quite phenomenal. I made a scrambled egg today. Sorry. Sorry, mate. Sorry, Pete. Not finished. I made a scrambled egg today. In eight years, he's never stopped me talking until it was discussing his pots and pans. That's incredible. Mate, not one stick. Look, we're all dying to know, obviously, because you didn't spend Christmas alone, not just with the family.

13:25You had the missus there. What did you get each other? She got me this hoodie. Okay. Yeah, she got me this hoodie, which is nice. I wear it all the time actually. She just sent me a message being, I love how you wear your hoodie so much. Cole Buxton, that's where these shoes are from. Mate, I love them. It's really, really comfortable. Well, you love a hoodie. Very thoughtful of her as well. I'll tell you what I will say to you about hoodies, because you know, we have experience with hoodies, you and I in terms of your hoodies. Wash it. Yeah, do you know what? I haven't washed it as of yet. No.

13:52So Sam... He knows me so well! Sam loves the hoodies so much, but he likes them when they're kind of lived in, but to the point where then you start going to jobs and he just throws it on. He doesn't, and he doesn't check himself before he leaves. And the amount of times he's, he's come to, there's a specific one been stained for about four years. It's been had the same stain on every time I go to him. Which one is it? You can't keep wearing that. It was a fear of God one. I know exactly which one it is. And it's just stained everywhere. And then I go to him, mate, honestly, wash it and then wear it again.

14:23And then six months later, he'll wear it to another job. And I'll go, it's the same stain. It's, it's the same. Just honestly, have you ever washed it? Ever. This one will go in the wash, I promise. Yes, wash it, because it's nice. It's a nice hoodie. Yeah, she got me that, which is really sweet of her, actually, because she's, and she even said to me, she came in after she gave it to me, and she was like, I really hope you like it. Like, I hope it's, like, enough. And I was like, that is the sweetest thing ever. Is that all she got you? Yeah. Oh, it's not enough. No, it is, because she's doing...

14:50I'm joking. It was so lovely. I'm joking. It's nice that she got you anything. Mine was a little bit less triish. So, she got your lovely hoodie, and it is very nice and it suits you and it's good. Look after it and wash it. What did you get her? So she thought about this. She thought about what you'd like. It's very much your style. She's got the crop. She's got everything and you got her. Do you know what? This actually, I think this is a nice present. Well, I mean, you didn't get some shower caps and a pair of scissors, did you? No, I took it to aloe and basically was just like, look, have at it.

15:25And I was like, I'll... How about it? Well, that sounds like You took the aloe to the changing rooms and went, how about it? I walked in and said, have at it. Have at it? Have at it. So you led her into aloe and went, go on, girl, have at it. Look, I'm aware it doesn't sound all that romantic, but I went. So you didn't get her a present. You were just out, saw aloe and went, how about it? Yeah, pretty much. And she went, what do you mean? It's Christmas, darling. How about it? That's what you did? Dude, I went in a couple of days prior with my sister and I was like, I really need your help. Like, I don't know what a girl would like from here.

15:59Like, it's just full. Aloe for a guy is like a fucking minefield. Like, you have no idea. You have, like, fresh-faced young ladies being like, oh, they'd love it, and they drag you here, thither and everywhere else. And I don't know what I'm doing. And my sister was like, this is too intense. You don't even know her size. Like, so just bring her. So I did. So the next day, I was just like, look, should we just go together? And I was like, I know it's not that romantic, but like I will just go and you can pick what you like. I got really into it. Nice. Really nice. Lovely. Zero thought but lovely.

16:33Do you know what? I panicked a little bit. No. Do you know what is nice? Is that actually it's your first Christmas. You've only been together a little while. It's the thought bit. You didn't go mad. Yeah. Didn't go mad. Which I think is good. Got mum a candle. Right. No, no, no. More than that actually just before we get and I also got her a pickleball bat. Oh, nice. If there's ever a woman that I thought would play pickleball, it's Karen Thompson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Karen Thompson. And then the worst thing is she opened it and went, oh, I don't know if that's the one I wanted. She said, oh, I'm not sure that's the one I asked for.

17:04And this is why Karen is my queen. We love Karen. In front of the whole family and Tally. And I was like, fuck, well, Mum, it's the link you sent me. I didn't know what you wanted. Do you know what you should have done? You should have taken her to the pickleball shop and gone, how about it?

17:18So what happened with you and a candle? What was that about? Just take a minute, all right? And let me set the scene. Alright, sorry. Apologies. Because it was quite traumatic, I'm going to be honest with you. Was it to involve a bath? No. So, Christmas, I did my usual. I did go and see my mum. Yeah. Oh, how is Trace? She's good. She had some people round at hers and whatnot. I had a little game of... I played a game with them this year. What the fuck? Humanity cards. Cards against humanity? Yes, did that. great game I'll be honest with you I played it for a little bit but then I got a buyer and started right on my own because mine were funnier how many goals did you get?

18:01crap sometimes some of them were really dark and then some of them were just a bit shit how many cards did you get? what do you mean? I'm sorry how many passes how many rounds did you do? oh I needed about five and then I was like oh I'm done now I can't I can't imagine people playing a game no it was nice so yeah I went there and that was nice and then I went home I got home and I did start drinking a lot well as you do yeah I had a couple of bottles of red wine and then I had a couple of Guinness and then I thought it's Christmas let's have a bit of tequila it's nice a lovely bottle of fucking rum I just really went for it mix and match as well it was nice it was good I had I started re-watching the entire six series of Peaky Blinders so I was midway through about the third series of that so I was really into it it was great I've seen it before, obviously, but I love it and the film's coming out.

18:53So I was like, we'll get that back in your head. Doing that, then I got up to refill my drink. And as I'd done that, I've got wooden floor. I was quite drunk and I didn't see Eric. So I fell over Eric. I had a fall. Fuck, he's had another fall. No, it gets worse. I smashed my head on the coffee table. No, it gets worse.

19:28Unconscious. I woke up with Eric licking my face. Okay, this is quite dangerous. It gets worse. I had candles on the coffee table. I'd pulled a candle onto my face and had wax burnt across all of my eye. I'd taken the skin off all of my eyelid and all under my eye

19:56I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I know, I know No, it's bad It's bad I'm sorry I don't know why, it's not even funny Completely burnt the entire of my eyelid and all underneath and then just woke up and I had wax black wax just all across my face Eric was like licking me like, Daddy, you alright? To be honest, if I had to die, I think he was about 10 minutes away from starting to gnaw on me. But, yeah. So that was Christmas Day. So then I didn't leave the house from Christmas Day whatsoever until New Year's Eve. Because my face was quite swollen, quite pink. I mean, I'm lucky I didn't go blind, if I'm honest with you.

20:39It was in the bad eye, though, so. I can't ask you a question. Yeah. when you fell did you make a sound I don't know you know like when someone like realises they're going and they're like oh I don't think oh bang I don't think I did but it's weird because my last fall I didn't even put my hands out so the survival I don't know what I think I just went down I just but I've got I mean you haven't seen I've got quite a thick like wooden heavy coffee table and it's quite low down. So I'd hit it with quite a bit of impact because I'd already fallen most of the way and it's only about that high. So I've just gone down and cracked my head, literally, all my cheekbone.

21:26And then as I've done that, obviously probably clambered and then pulled the candle on me.

21:37I don't know why I was expecting sympathy from any of you because you're all just struggling to hold in the tears and laughter. Oh, I don't even care. Let's let it out. I'm so sorry. Yeah, no. No, it's mental, isn't it? Mate, it's just the idea. I'm visualising it now. And the stumble, the fall, the probable. Oh, and then the hit. And then just one cup. Another fall. And then do you know what's mad about that? Is I hadn't realised that I was quite drunk. I got up and filled my wine glass before I went and checked my face. But anyway. Do we need to be worried? There was three major falls last year and some minor ones, but three major ones, and I do think that is a lot for a year.

22:26Do we need to be worried? Do we need to take you somewhere? Do we need to figure out the balance? Well, I told Ed and my manager, and she went, God, we really do need to get that eye sorted. Is it the eye? I don't know. I think my depth perception is out a little bit because it goes for a walk. I don't know. But anyway, I'm getting that sorted. I'm going for an eye appointment because I missed it in December properly. They're lasering the bastard. No, I have to go and have loads of checks done on. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. Because I think it's hard to laser because obviously as soon as they bring the laser, I imagine it would just go, no, I'm over here.

22:53Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, thank you. That's two men who are going for surgery next year, this year. Yes, because Sam is, I don't know if we're allowed to talk about it, but it was one of the big announcements we've got to wait for later. Sam is looking to go into music. so he's having some surgery on his vocal chords. Music? Yeah, so Sam is looking at launching. He is potentially going to run for the UK's entry to Eurovision with a song called Bangtastic. Bangtastic, you bang-tidy bastard. But yeah, you're having vocal chord surgery, yeah? Yeah, no, I genuinely am, actually, yeah. I've got a cyst on my vocal chords.

23:33I'm having that taken out, which is going to be mad because it means I have to have three days of vocal rest. So, yeah, that was Christmas then for us and that was also our surgeries we've let you know about. So we are absolutely flying today. We're straight back at it. Let's get to the fact we're in 2026. Well, New Year. New Year. This is something... How was your New Year's? My year was pretty boring, pretty tame. You went to the pub, I believe. Went to the pub, played some Uno, which was fucking fun. and actually had a bottle of Red Bull. Who knows? Who knows? And it's a fucking fun game to play when you're quite pissed.

24:12But then called or, no, messaged Pete and was like, what are you up to? Let me just set this scene. No, no, no, no, no, no. I understand. No, no, no, no, no, no. I get it. No. So Christmas, I spoke to him. I didn't speak to him Christmas Day. I spoke to him Boxing Day. No, the day after Boxing Day. No, Boxing Day. And I said to Sam, look mate if you if you want to do something between now and Christmas he went man it's been like two weeks I haven't seen you for I was like it's been like four days but I said I'll tell you what I'll do I'll come to the pub and you know with you and Tally and I said you can even invite some of your Chelsea mates and I'll be nice for a night so he went yeah yeah I'll get it booked I'll send you a message didn't do a fucking thing and I knew he wouldn't because the key with Sam is to go you organise it That was where the pitfall came.

25:04And then you know you're free. So then New Year's Eve, he messaged me going, mate, I'm going to the pub if you want to come at about 6 o 'clock, 6 p.m. New Year's Eve. All right. So it was an afterthought, right? It was a – something's missing. Oh, Pete. It was 6 p.m. He was probably already at the pub and probably already had a Guinness and was halfway through a fucking, you know, trying to find two reds for Uno. so yes so I didn't reply you didn't reply but you were at Amazonico and then so I'm going through my through my evening and Tally gets a message from Pippa and Pippa's gone not even to me to my missus has gone we're all off to see Pete at Amazonico so I'm sat there in the pub going sorry what the fuck Tally's literally like yeah yeah yeah we've all been invited to Amazonico I was like well it's a bit late now Tally wished me a happy new year very kindly we're just breaking through the and then yeah I was on my merry way somewhere with a few friends well when you say on your merry way so I was at Amazonico and I was having dinner and they do a big kind of private party thing there it's really lovely and it's kind of like a you know like you buy the tickets and all the rest of it it's one of them sort of things lovely get all dressed up first time I'd worn this beautiful suit I'd had made it's just really lovely suit really lovely suit so anyway say to Pippa and she's with her fellow Jack and I said listen if you guys want to come alright just let me know alright I'm going to be finishing dinner soon and then they have a big party here and it's like fucking onto 4am so you can just fucking come in or sort it at the door don't worry she goes is alright if I bring some friends I said yeah yeah it's fine thinking she was maybe out with another couple there was what five of them six of them said oh okay yeah excellent I said you know I'll tell them at the door you come in how many of you is there six that's a lot okay no worries go to the door and they said well, it's a private party pick, they ain't got tickets.

27:02I mean, come on. And they went absolutely fine. So enrol six mates. Then moved the table because the table that I had wasn't big enough. So then they had to move us onto a bigger table. Fucking drinks are flying. Pippa was back on the fucking DP, on the old Dom Perignon. She was fucking loving it. And then fucking New Year's goes off. Everyone's drinking tequilas going. We had bottles of tequila. It was fucking great. Everyone's having a lovely drink. I'm having a fucking, I'm actually having a good time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Until. Like, you know, the eye had cleared up a little bit, so it was still slightly scabby, but wasn't it?

27:37A little bit scabby. I wasn't going to say anything. No, okay, excellent. Nice, thanks, bitch. So then after midnight, something happens. Yeah. Everyone really got drunk. Like, it was like, wait for midnight. Way, the big cheer and the fucking excitement of that. Then suddenly it was like walking into the fresh air and everyone suddenly went, oh. Yeah. One of Pippa's friends was a little bit wobbly on her legs. So I said, well, listen, I'll tell you what, I'll take her outside for a minute and I'll get her a car home. Don't worry about it. It's fine. She's fucking... So we're holding her up, trying to get her outside.

28:16It was cold out, New Year's Eve, wasn't it? So I didn't want her to wait outside. So I said, just wait by the bar with me here. She's fallen to the floor. Just slopped down the bar. So there I am, like a corpse, just lifting her up, you know what I mean? Got right underneath and she's there and she's one arm like this and then she's just folding in like this. I'm going, don't worry, darling, you're going to be all right. Don't worry about it. The car's coming, the car's coming. Threw up all the way down my fucking suit. And I don't mean like a little bit. I mean fucking everywhere, right? So there's me going, don't worry.

28:55Then Pippa arrives. Ashley why don't you tell the story from here which bit well just you might as well carry on because there's quite a lot to get through isn't there yeah well so what happened when you arrived and you'd seen your friend who I was holding up had thrown all down my suit it was all over Pete's suit which I knew he'd had tailored and made and I was like oh my god and I was like oh my god I'm really sorry he's like yeah don't worry about it it's just tailored like just got it made like it's literally tailored Don't worry about it. I was like, oh, okay. And he was literally holding her like a body, like couldn't move.

29:34So then I think he spent some money on like just putting - Well, the first cab wouldn't take it. So then the second cab, I had to give him a wad of cash because he went, oh, no, no, no. I went, just get her own. Get her own, ER, have that, make sure she gets in fine, happy days. We got her in a car. There was then another of my friends. So that was fine. One's gone. So at this point, I've been gone now for about half an hour because I'm doing the sick in the car. So then we come back and I think, right, listen, don't worry about it. I'll take the jacket off. We'll wet down the fucking shirt and the trousers and all that.

30:15It's going to be fine. It wasn't that bad, though, was it, Pippa? It wasn't that bad. Oh, yeah. It wasn't that bad. How much was it? Not much? Well, no, no, no, no. Don't worry about it. So at this point, jacket, shirt, trousers, all covered in sick. Take the jacket off because that got the brunt of it. The smell then afterwards as well. Lovely. That was the worst bit. The smell. Also on Pete. I know. Nobody else. Pete's literally like really well known in Amazon. He's just rolling around stinking of sick. At this point, I smell like a mixture between tequila, cigarettes and sick. And people think it's him.

30:50All right. So along with all the aftershave that I wear as well. Oh, a real nice concoction. It was a heady mix. So anyways, get back in. I think, don't worry about it. Let's not worry about it. Get back to the fucking table. I'm there fucking chatting away. And then suddenly...

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33:30Another mate. We're already one man down. and then the second one, I'm fucking drunk. Don't worry, Pippa. Don't worry. I'll get her a car. I'm surprised you even bothered at that point. I would have run to the other side of the room. You know what I'm like? Fucking daddy, fucking get her a car. Go to the same spot. I'm still stood in my sick by the bar. Waiting for a car for this one. No, won't take her. All right, so I've had to order another one. There she is. And I'm going, are you all right? You're okay there, Don? And she's like, boop. And I go, no, no, no, no, no. Not again! No, no, no, no, no.

34:03No, no, no. And then what she's done is I think she tried to swallow it, didn't quite swallow it all, so just dribbled. Sick. Straight onto the suede shoes. How much that time? The shoes was quite a lot as well, actually. Yeah. No, no, no, because it started with a dribble and I went, oh, okay, all right, all right. So as I'm looking around for someone or something to stop the dribble, it's then just gone bleh. All right, no, bubba. And then Pete redirected her into the plants a bit more. I was like, what about over here? And then more money. More money. Honestly, the man is just just dishing out, flying everywhere.

34:42Thank God he carries cash. I know. He's literally throwing cash at cash. I was just stood like so quiet in the corner. So you've basically come and ruined Pete's New Year's Eve. Single-handedly. On shoes, on jackets. He's probably, how much are you down at this point? I'm not going to tell her. No, no, fuck off, tell her. So the table and all the open, like, because there were tickets full of them, open bar and everything. So that was for dinner and everything. No, it wasn't. And all the tickets full of them. No, it wasn't. How much were the taxis? It was a ticket for them to come in. No, it wasn't.

35:22And then I had paying cash, which I gave to cab drivers. How much did you spend on the tailored suit? The suit was... Can you still wear that suit? It's going to the dry cleaners. Which will cost another grand. So it's a torp suit. So the colour of it is torp. So it's a light coloured suit. Oh, mate, it's seeped into those cracks and crevices, hasn't it? A little bit of orange now in there, I feel like, as well. A bit of bile's come up. And I feel like when that acid hits, it really does burn its way in. It was an open bar. So you buy the tickets and then you can drink what you like. yeah um also just a statement if you will actually um i did speak to pippa about this um the the day after and uh and did get the rundown and one of her friends apparently has been frantically trying to send you money she's never been the same again she woke up and said to me what are pete's bank details like pippa's got them on hand anyway and it's been like i need to send pete bank details I imagine Pippa has asked you for your bank details and you've refused.

36:27Let me, let me, let me. Wait till I tell her while she's got to settle up. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Wait, so this is the message I got from Pippa. Oh, actually, since Pippa likes to embarrass all of us, I'm going to show you the message I got from Pippa when she got home that evening. Oh, God. So, because you know what I'm like. I like to say, do you know what I mean? Make sure everyone gets home. So, because, because I made sure everyone got in a car. Yeah. and then I waited in the cold and couldn't get a cab. With sick all over. You look like you had. Pete looks like he's had the biggest bender being chucked out of the establishment and is now not being taken by a cab for him.

37:04Happy New Year. So Pippa messaged me at 4.35 saying, so please no one stole my headband all night.

37:16She had the headband on. Then next day,

37:22Many, many requests flooding in to apologise and thank you for everything yesterday. The girls are very, very grateful and sorry, as are mine, everyone else. Many, many requests to ask for your bank details. So I thought I'd put a small ask in, but I know you won't answer. Thank you again. That was on New Year's Eve. Did you reply? Three days later, I went, do you like this dog?

37:47My favourite thing, Pete, is that the start of the night started with so much hope. There was so much hope for a really good, wholesome bit of fun. I hadn't left the house since Christmas Eve because of the disfiguration on my phone. He had been gearing up for this night, Pippa, for fucking weeks. He was so happy when we got there. He was so happy when you arrived. And you've just decimated his evening. He's f***ing down. He's got sick all over his shit. and the best thing is the night started with hope and ended with many, many apologies. It's like the work party. You know when you do something stupid at your work party and you have to sort of like just send so many apologies.

38:25Let me just show you the suit because the shirt was made out of the same cloth. Oh, yes, it's seeping into that. Absolutely cool. So it was made out of the same cloth so it was all colour-coded and matched. Oh, my Lord. It looked really nice. Thank you. Thank you, as did your tiara. Thank you. Oh, my Lord. So that was New Year's Eve. How was the pub? How was Uno? Mate, I was in bed at 12.30. Uno was lovely. But that doesn't... Do you know what? It sounds nice. It's a story to tell. Pete will pay the money back. It's fine. And talking about... What do you mean? I don't know anyone. What do you mean?

39:01I'll pay the money back. No, he'll make the money back. I'll make the money. It's fine. I thought you said Pete will pay the money back. I don't know them. Sorry. Pete will pay you. I don't think that we can move on from sort of Pete's New Year either. We're talking about Series 3 of For Dog's Sake, which, by the way, guess who watched their first episode? Back me here. He did. He called me before asking, what time is it on? Because I'm going to watch it. You're bird. Yeah. Yeah. I called Pippa and went, when's it started? She went, just look at the Instagram. Oh, yeah, 9pm. Straight in. Beautiful.

39:40Bit sad. Yeah. But, no, is it like lovely? No, no, I mean, that was one of the happier ones. Oh, my fucking days. No, yeah, there were some really sad parts to it. I can't believe you actually watched it. Of course I fucking did, mate. Oh, what do you think? Very proud of you. Mate, do you know what? It's you. It's so weird because I have actually watched it. It's you, but happy. Mate, that's exactly what I was going to say. It's you, but like I've never seen you before. Like, I'm there because my missus has only met Pete years ago. and actually to be fair she said you were so lovely to her on that photo she was like pete was the only one who spoke to me no one else talked to me and i was trying to explain to her i was like he's not normally like this i was like i was like he's not normally like this he's normally really angry and she was like he's he she was he seems so lovely and he seems to just be so happy to be around those dogs and i was like he really really does it's like it's you in your absolute element and you can just tell how much you love it.

40:39You can tell how much the people that you're working with, like, adore you as well. And it's just fucking beautiful. So, mate, I really loved it. And more than anything else, I'm so proud because it just, you can tell how much of you you put into it. I'm really, really proud of you, mate. So, yeah, it was fucking beautiful. Thank you, mate. Yeah, really, really nice. Really nice. Yeah, I mean, so the new series, Series 3, launched on Monday, so that's the 5th of January, and then it's going to be on every Monday for five weeks at 9pm on UNW. That's my little plug. That's it. Or you can stream the whole thing on you or on Channel 4's streaming service.

41:14So you can stream it. Yeah, just go find it. But yeah, no, it's fucking great. Actually, I was on the one show last night talking about it with Piers Brosnan. What was he like? Really lovely. Nice dude. Yeah, yeah. I told him that at one point I was 65 to 1 to be the next James Bond. What is that? I didn't really tell him that, you fucking idiot. What as if I'm going to go, you know, at one point I was 65 to one, Bond. I would have loved to hear it because he's super dry. I would have loved to hear his response to that. No, I spoke to him about, he's a big dog lover, he's got rescue dogs. He's a really nice guy.

41:47Anyway, but he's got a new film coming out. So yes, I did that. So yeah, it's all good. I didn't even know you'd done the one show. I feel like we spoke about Eric on there. And whilst I was doing that, Ellen, my manager, Because I've been doing some dog fostering. So I needed someone to sit with a dog. She's small. Well, she went, yeah, so for three hours that I was out for that, she came and fostered for me. What Ellen did whilst I was doing that was go through my entire flat and ransack it and send pictures to Pippa. Well, I actually have some of these photos on my phone. for everyone who wonders whether Pete exists, this is for you.

42:37We have, we have a drawer full of - Let's start with the fridge. Okay, we're starting with the fridge. Fridge, then freezer, then cut. Okay, we're starting in reverse. It's all mental. So, also, if you just heard Pippa there - Have I got these pictures? If you just heard Pippa there, mental is, we're all so ecstatic to actually see. Pete's fridge have you ever seen American Psycho have I got these pictures yeah oh god she has made them could you talk us through so so Pete's got like a relatively big fridge um that's just one right he's got a bit he's got he's got about five six items in this fridge uh two of them are cheeses he's got some lurpak butter two of them are cheeses but they're the same cheese just in different shapes Cathedral City extra mature love it my question is What have you got?

43:29What's that on the shelf on the left? It's a pudding pot. That's a creme brulee. A creme brulee that you bought yourself. It's one of those pre-made pudding pots. But I've got a blowtorch in the thing, so I torch it. It's nice. That is the most sorry state of affairs. So that's one half of the fridge. The other half is chocolate. We have that. Is the other half? No, you're in the freezer. I'm sorry. Apologies. The other half is just got tonic water in for my vodka. In the fridge, it's sliced Cathedral City, pre-sliced in a packet. And then there's a bag of small cubes of Cathedral City in another.

44:06Which one do you prefer? So, well, one's for me, one's for Eric. Oh, right. So Eric has a special, his favourite treat is cheese, but you can't give him too much. So I just break off little bits from, he has one little packet, like a tiny little packet like this, when he's been a good boy. So then I'll just break it up for him and then give it to him. So he has that, but I like the ones because I just whack it on a bit of toast. Do you know what I'm seeing here, which I'm loving? This is either from, maybe I'm wrong, but the only other thing I'm seeing in the bottom shelf is what looks like the sauce you've used for your curry the other night.

44:45All Pizza Hut garlic sauce. Oh, no. Them there. It's a dip. They're dips. For what? You don't have anything in your fridge? No, I think they've been there for a while. They're just pre-made little dip things in case you want to dip things. I sometimes put celery, because I like celery, but I'd finish the celery. So I'd sometimes like different dips to put my celery in. Mate, that is the most depressing fridge I've ever seen in my life. That, honestly, that would make me sad. Like, I would open that fridge and be like, like, how do you survive? What are you cooking? What are you eating from that?

45:20Well, because I'll pick up stuff to cook specifically for that night. And then you'll just put some Cathedral City on it. So that's that. Maybe some Lerbeck. And then the next one, which I love, is the freezer. Because in there, normally, if you go and get an ice cream, you'll normally get a Magnum, and you'll get sort of a... What are you showing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll get like a Magnum ice cream, right? Pete's going to got dairy, Cadbury's dairy milk Magnums. I didn't even know they sold them. Really lovely because the chocolate. I feel like they're specific to you. I feel like they're something you really like and you go and get for yourself.

46:04Well, no, the ice cream's good, but it's got dairy milk on the outside, but then it's got a dairy milk swirl through that is also hard chocolate, not soft. So you break, but it's really nice. It's sort of layered. So in the freezer, we've got Snickers, vanilla chocolate Snickers. It's just white Snickers. Sorry, white Snickers. We've got 99 pea flakes. Yeah, they're always good. Some dairy milk magnums. A twister. Two different types of twister. And some cornettos. Eight boxes. Eight boxes of ice cream in the freezer. Eight. Eight boxes. And some cathedral city in the fridge. Well, let me just tell you.

46:41Beggar's belief. Let me just tell you, you're very lucky that she didn't open the bottom drawer of the fridge. Everything is also a really weird flavour. It's not normal Cornetto, it's strawberry. This is what I mean. But there's also the normal vanilla and hazelnut. No, don't try and normalise that. That's the least normal Snickers. You can't even know that fucking existed. And the Twister is... The Twister's a weird, some sort of Berrylicious flavour. It's not even just a Twister. It is. It's the Berrylicious is exactly what it's called. And it's weird berries as well. Everything's some really niche, limited edition.

47:13You know when someone goes, ah, like what chocolate or ice cream do you think Pete has? Cornetto. Strawberry. Just one Cornetto. Give it to me. It's just fucking... Not just one, there's eight bloody boxes. No, but we're not done there, Pippa. Because we then get a look at his cutlery drawer. And that is, it's about 15 spoons, one knife, a bottle opener. A pair of scissors and no forks. Right. So. It's like, it's like, you know, when you walk in someone's gaff, you're like, how do you, what are you, what do you do on your own? They're also horizontal. Yeah. That really got to me. Across the slots that they're meant to be in.

48:01Can I explain? Got to me as well. Can I explain? All right. So the explanation to this. Sorry, and a bottle cap that's obviously managed to find its way in there. By the way, we're going to show this on the register. So the people who are listening to this, we're going to put this on the register. So don't worry. Let me explain. So that isn't my cutlery drawer. Yes, it is. No. So I've got the cutlery drawer for people. And then this is dog food. This is random, like, do you know what I mean? Like, it's just the thing. Bottle opener for the dogs. Well, no, that's big. The bottle opener goes in there.

48:36But my cutlery, like knives and forks, is what I use to get the dog food out and then put it in. And I don't use the forks that I eat with. Do you know what I mean? So they all go in there, which is why I don't use spoons. So there's loads of fresh spoons because they don't get used. I love the way Pete's having to defend himself. Why am I defending myself in my fucking house? I got burgled and ransacked by my own manager, all right? And now I'm having to explain what my drawers do. Oh, it's so good. Genuinely, though, you know when you go, does Pete exist? And then you look at that. it solidifies everything that you thought about all the prejudices you had about Pete.

49:14They're all backed up by those photos. Well, apparently, Ellen sent a picture of my bathroom to Pippa as well. Tell me he's got skid marks. Like one of the bathrooms. And it was, no, she said it's a hotel bathroom. Looks like no one's ever, like it looks like no one's ever been in there. And it's just been freshly done. But I just, we'll never get over the freezer. I've never even heard you talk about ice cream ever. Neither have I. Literally never heard him mention an ice cream. Neither have I. Yeah, but now and then, if you just want a little sweet treat. But it's not now and then. It's full to the brim.

49:43No, but I like to have options. Also, such weird options. I just, I know we're just going over it again, but it's just, I agree with Pippa. The most stocked drawer in your house is your ice cream drawer. And the least stocked is the cutlery. And I didn't see it coming. I just didn't see that from you at all. Well, look, I'm going to be honest with you, not the only one that's got fucking photo evidence, all right? That's me done, all right? Let's move on to you, shall we? I'm so glad you sent that in. On the plus side, you've had a lovely Christmas with your birds, which is really, really nice.

50:18You did promise us that it wouldn't be sort of matching pyjamas and all the rest of it, and, well, you did. That wasn't me, though. No, no. No, no, that actually wasn't me. Oh, who's that then? No, no, that is me. Oh, okay. I was wondering. And I thought, well, in which case, mate, sorry, she's cheating on you. So that is you. That is me. But I didn't. And these are matching. It wasn't my decision. Oh, okay. So I didn't realise. So what happened? Obviously, you must have fallen asleep. She undressed you, put you in. Because obviously you would have said no. I didn't want to. No, you didn't want to.

50:50No. No. She made me and I didn't put it on my Instagram. That's on hers. So Pippa's obviously like. No, it's from a FaceTime. Oh, did I FaceTime you? You FaceTimed me in the matching pyjamas. And I said, oh, I thought you weren't going to do that. That's terrible. So you're obviously quite happy. And how was he in the FaceTime? Absolutely buzzing. Yeah. So you're a fucking liar. I can't help myself. I just, the moment Crimbo comes, it was Christmas Eve, I think, wasn't it? The moment it comes, get the fire, I'll get the jammaxing jammies on. So you woke up together Christmas Day? Yeah, we did.

51:25Wow. Yeah, I gave my card. Gave your what? I wrote a card. Oh, card. gave my cock no see that's we left that in 2025 what you not my cock no so you didn't bring it with you really and let's be talking about the surgery earlier on yeah you know you can get surgery on your penis not that I will I you can also get filler in your dick that makes it bigger yep anyway I don't need it that now sounds like I do Sam yeah but also you forget you've got changing here multiple times. Yeah, I don't need it. All right, well, that's nice. So you didn't see her family on Boxing Day? I didn't see the family only because...

52:06So you've not met her family yet? I have. I met her grandparents, actually. It was fucking funny. Her granddad's a bit of a legend. I think they like me. I think they like me. Well, because the conversation that you had with me before, family, is do I need to make a speech? How should I go into this? I need them to like me. And I said, don't do that. Because your need to like me is overly hugging, overly talking, being too much, and having to make a thing. I said, just calm. It went well. Yeah, no, it sounds it. Good, good, good, good. So that's nice. But you've had a little bit of sort of online TikTok problems, have you?

52:41Oh, Pippa, you're a bitch. So is it based on the new relationship? Pippa's a proper bitch. You need a little bit of advice. Can I just say something? I confide in our producer, Pippa, who I'm sure you all know by now. And she, like, the first thing you think of, because you're an evil person, is you go, I'm going to slide that into the pod. Well, don't think it's just you, because when she knew my manager was at my house, she messaged us straight away and got some goss. Oh, yeah. So it's not, don't worry about it. Because she can't get it from me, what she does is she's sending in moles now. You're an evil genius.

53:15My job, just doing my job. No, do you know what it is? And actually, it's really got to me. It's Pete that's really got to me. It's unlike you to let her comment on social media get to you. so this must be a new thing for 2026 this one really pierced deep Pete I'm going to be honest with you so what do you want from me here you want some advice or something but I just I've just never had this before so we do not Pippa Dally did a TikTok where she was she was like filming me like and I'm really into my Warhammer at the moment and I don't look down at that that was that was a really rude thing Pete because I'm really into it and you're my best No, no, no, no.

53:55Listen. Don't be rude. Yeah, baby. No, I like him. I like it a lot. Yeah. So I'm talking about. It must be sexy for her watching you play Warhammer. I was giving her the rundown of Space Marine and Warhammer and all this kind of shit. And I was getting really into it. And she's like, put this TikTok up. And I'm like reading through some of the comments on my own. I'm not actually with her at this point. Okay. So let me just get this right. So she's put up the TikTok. Yeah. On her TikTok. so you went and read her, the comments on, on people commented under her TikTok. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

54:27Yeah, no, it's normal. And I read it and there was, some people were really lovely and there was this one thing which goes, is that your dad? Yeah. Bro, Pete, I'm not joking. It was like a gut punch and I literally, I didn't know what to, I was like, I've never had that before. I'm like, is that your dad? Well, as someone who... Talking about Warhammer. As someone who has had that before, you're dating a younger bird. And you, listen, your best years have passed. Although you've had a... Imagine it was pre-glow-up. You look better now, but you do look older than her. There was another one. What were you both wearing?

55:17I was wearing a really nice blue number. And was she just in sort of like... She wasn't even showing her face. No, was she just over the top? Hey, you can't play me for Emma. Mate, guess what? There's one that goes, he's pushing 40. You are? Just a comment going, he's pushing 40. After the, is that your dad? So that means that they must think she's around 20. She's 25. So you could, well... Mate, I was... I'm not joking. I was really upset. I literally... I was like, am I that guy now? Like, are our best years behind us? It's so weird, actually, to something like that. Like, if you were sat in the pub, do you know what I mean?

55:54She was just recording. I can see it. I don't know anyone's dad that sits and plays with Warhammer. Neither do I. Like, it's quite a childish thing to do. I'm young at heart. Yeah. I'm only 33. I'm not fucking ancient. No, but 36. I mean, it's just, you know, no offense. Is that your dad? No offense, but there's a certain type of person that plays with Warhammer. Yeah, fucking legends. Yeah. Yeah, they're people that are holding on to the youth and the good old days when the world was nice. When the world was nice? Well, let's be honest. The real world isn't kind to people of over 30 that play Warhammer, is it?

56:30Just listening to Nickelback. No, I don't think that, yeah. Well, I just don't want to be a bit. This is how you remind me of what I really am. It's not like you. whilst their young girlfriends are recording them for TikTok. It's just, it's an unusual situation. How have you dealt with it? How have I dealt with it? I mean, I was old enough to be her dad, so.

56:58You just embraced it. Well, I just went, well, yeah. Look, at the end of the day, because I've seen some comments online about the fact that you're punching and the rest of it. Oh, that wasn't, that wasn't, that wasn't, that wasn't the line of chat we were going down. Where the fuck's that come from? It's just a knife to the back. The point being, listen, your missus is lovely. She is young. She looks very young. She's aged. She looks, you know what I mean? Like, you know. Am I punching? I mean, yeah. I mean, but that's a good thing, mate. Do you know what I mean? It's a good thing. Look, this is fucking.

57:39I need some more Botox. This is peep. please. No, because the problem is... I'm going to get Botox. Look what you've done now. All right, excellent. I'm going to come back with a new face. Yeah, fucking welcome podcast host by Pete Wicks and Mickey Rourke. No, look, it's fine. It's not a problem. You do look older than her. You are older than her. What can you do? Yeah, there's an eight-year age gap between you. There's nothing wrong with that. That's fine. Yeah. God damn it. Fucking hell. I feel old. Really hurt. Really, really hurt. That's what she says when she gets in bed and she's got her arms around her.

58:25I feel old. Look, don't worry about it. Don't not. I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah, you look it. As I've said to you multiple times, just stop reading shit. I will. I'm fine. I'm done. It's cool, whatever. No, it's absolutely fine. Don't you worry about it. On the plus side, though, Like, if you are struggling with it, and I know you've obviously, you know, you come to me and Pippa and, you know. Not going to Pippa ever if I can get in my life. You come to people around you for all sorts of advice. But I do think in 2026, you know, you can start working at some of these problems yourself. And actually, I think you've already begun to do that.

59:00So if you could read out from your diary what the entry was and how you felt. I don't have it. I had my diary on me today. You don't have it. but you do, you are journaling. I am journaling. I'm journaling this year. And I've kept up with it as well. Excellent. So is it in every day, every morning, every evening? Every evening. And it's sort of how my day's been. Yeah. Is it a dear diary job? No, I just start. Today's been a good one. I just start. And then you date it. And then, okay, excellent. Date it, yeah. I've got my to-do list. Do you know what? Again, I wish I'd never fucking bought that in.

59:34Because I bought that in. Monday meeting, I do it. And I'm in the car. What sort of thing is on your to-do list? Loads. Attend Monday meeting being one of them. I wrote that down the night before. And then I'm in the car. So did today's read, go to office, record podcast? Yeah, I'd just like to have a schedule now of what I'm doing. Podcast schedule. Yeah, I'd like to have a schedule. It's not a schedule. It is. You do it every Wednesday you come to this. You don't need to write, go to office, record podcast. It helps with my, like, I like to see it on a page in front of me. Okay, good. so this is just a like a to-do and then you tick it off at the end of the day and then write how everything's been Yeah but I'm getting bullied now so it's just like and this is why I shouldn't have brought it in No no no no no No it isn't I shouldn't have brought it in You're not getting bullied I am Pippa fucking grabbed it I walked through the door on Monday mate I put it on the table and you know when you go to school so it grabs your fucking diary and opens it up and reads it to the crew Come on keep the emotions at your age dad so

1:00:33Pippa fucking just grabs and now I'm trying to be really He's like calm with it. Pippa grabs my diary. Pippa just grabs the diary. No, I'll tell you what she does. Mate, do you know what it was? I get in my car on the way in. I've got Eminem on the stereo. And I'm... You've got Eminem on the stereo. And you're wondering why they're calling you dad. Hey? Hey, I'll whack the old fucking tape back in. I've got Eminem. Lose yourself. You weren't even born then. Anyway, you only get one shot. You know this one. Hey? Oh, we're just outside Allo. Ab at it, girl. Go on. Fuck. Sam's turned into someone's fucking father over the Christmas period.

1:01:15Welcome to the room in 2026, Daddy Thompson. You know what the worst thing is? I've done that so many times. This isn't your era. Oh. Oh, mate. So give me just an example then of what sort of thing you're writing in the journal. Like, you know. So, for example, after Monday, really felt... Do you know what? I shouldn't even be saying this because it actually says that you shouldn't tell people what you wrote in your diary. Yeah, but... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Where did you learn that? In journaling school? Yeah, no, it's just like I've seen loads of TikToks and stuff that if you want to start journaling...

1:01:53Oh, when TikTok said it, then it must be right. A little bit like when they called you... Listen. You know that's true. You're not meant to... All right. But you also, let's just remember, the people want to hear it. It's what you say to me. Listen, the people, we're a family. If you can't tell your family, you can't tell anyone. We're a family. We've built a community. No one's going to judge you. The rules are that you're not meant to talk about what you've written in your diary. I don't mind. All right. Well, then don't tell us exactly what you wrote. Just give an example of how it goes. Today I felt under attack and bullied by everyone.

1:02:26Exactly how I felt. Okay, excellent. It's basically like, for example, after Monday, it would be something like, had a really great meeting on Monday. I feel like I really enjoyed the experience and I feel like I should be going more. I feel like we were like, I was really energised when I walked in. Felt a little bit of a dip when I left. Maybe that's because I'm a little bit tired and expunged a little bit. It's that kind of vibe. Oh, well, no. I mean, it sounds good. And I'm pleased you're doing something like that. Self-care, it's good for you. Which you said you would be doing as well. Let's get Peter fucking journal.

1:02:59I ain't doing that bullshit. But it's fucking... Very Mel Robbins in it. It's very Mel. Well, only if you get up and look in the mirror first. And then I'm going to journal today because I'm a great person. I just said to the mirror that I was going to do this. Do you know what the worst thing is? I have a saying now. It's super simple, though. It's not like wanky. It's just, I just tell myself good morning. So that's, it's literally, I get out of bed and I go, and I go, good morning. And that's it. It's not like, it's not like a, you're going to smash this. But I just say good morning. Don't cover yourself with a fucking iPad.

1:03:33And it really helps. I'm not even a giant. It genuinely helps. You just feel a little bit like, you're like, oh, cool. It's going to be a good morning. And I've had a good morning for three mornings in a row.

1:03:47What a time to be alive. I feel rejuvenated. Do you feel rejuvenated? I feel revitalized. Yeah, I can't say it. Can't say it. It's not cool to be surly all the time. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not surly. Surly. Surly. I don't feel... No, I don't feel surly. I wouldn't say I feel rejuvenated. Revitalised. Refreshed. Refreshed. I feel... No, I'll tell you what I've done. I've reset. We'll take it. I wouldn't say refreshed. I've just reset and got rid of some of the baggage of last year. I'm starting to, you know... And I reckon... I mean, I'm on Wednesday. I've been back at work since Monday. by Friday I'll be fine but for now and then I've just got and then I've just got 51 other weeks of the year just to be fucked for so but at the current state on the Wednesday three days in I'm alright and that's all that fucking matters thank you so much for listening we are motherfucking back baby yes ta-da gonna journal that this has been a Staying Relevant production Colon cancer is on the rise.

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1:06:06Hello, Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. so prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.