169: Love Islander Helena Ford exclusively reveals what ACTUALLY happened in the villa

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1:33Welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two best friends, me, a slightly quieter, which you probably all love, Sam Thompson, and of course, the man himself, Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph Wicks. As always, this episode will contain swear, and if you don't like it, go fuck yourself. so this is a very special main episode which means it's Monday that you can listen to it audibly and then you'll be able to watch this from 5pm on Wednesday on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel and then there'll be a bonus episode which comes out Thursday audibly which you'll be able to watch from 5pm on Sunday on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel which means that you can catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday now what Pete's going to hate here is that my iPad's just run out of battery so I'm going to fly completely blind on this one Well, this is going to be great.

2:22As if I wasn't struggling enough with Sam today and the fact that he can barely speak. Do you want to just wing it? I think we do also. We're on the same. So me and Pete never normally do this, by the way. We never sit on the same sofa. So here we go. Well, there is a reason that we are on the same sofa. Before we get to that, make sure you rate, review, follow all of that crap. If you do want to get involved and you want to speak to us, then email the most annoying email address in the world. I still fucking hate it. It's hello at srproductions.co.uk. Okay, let's move on to why we're sat on the same sofa.

2:52We, there was only one person we could get on this podcast this week. She is a friend of the pod, somebody who we adore, who we were riding for, by the way, when she was all the way in South Africa. She has literally landed, got her suitcases. Done her hair in the office. Downed a bottle of Prosecco, by the way. Bought some new Asic trainers. PR didn't want that mentioned. Oh, right. Well, she has. And she has come and sit on the sofa. Welcome back to the pod. First time on the pod. No, but it's in, come on. She was at the O2. We absolutely adore her. Welcome Helena Ford, everybody. We love you.

3:32Hi. Interesting wave, that. I liked it. Listen, the reason that you are a friend of the pod, and obviously you were at the O2 and people that went to the O2 would have seen it, is because you wanted to sit on Sam's face in 2017. How do you feel about that now? Let's get the elephant out of the room. Does his face look sittable? I mean, how old would I have been then? Like 19? I'm so glad you said 19. 2017. Well, you're 30 this week. Yeah. So, no, you wouldn't be like 20 odd. Oh, shit. But that was when I was like, like real bad teeth. You were actually, I'm not joking. Clapped. Yeah, some could say that.

4:13Do you think he's... Yeah. Are you one of them? You and Scotty T, I don't really know if that's a great paring, but you and Scotty T are my celebs crushes. Wow. And how do you feel now? I mean, they say don't meet your heroes. Obviously, you know, you've met Sam before. Is he as good looking in real life? I never thought I was going to meet him in this way where he's seen my tweet of me saying, I'm going to sit on his face. Like, come on. Helen, you know we spoke about it on This Morning. What? On This Morning? I wanted to sit on your face. I bet that went down well with the viewers. I better get her like what?

4:45I mean it is I mean listen it's a weird way to intro intro someone but you know it is what it is but seriously though you haven't answered the question do you still want to sit on his face? Wow Oh she's not saying no alright We will take that We'll fucking take it We will take that Obviously Helena is is coupled up in a moment we're going to get on to that because you know I and actually it was fucking wild I'll let Pete explain Pete hasn't not watched this series. So, I'm going to tell you this. For the first time? Well, prepare yourself for this. So, effectively, we watched your intro video where you said the best thing you've done since leaving the villa last time.

5:26I had your back there. And they showed it. Did they? Was the O2 staying relevant and you named it. So, I was like, listen, if we're back in, we are back in Helena. We love you anyway. Yeah, you only did it for that though, didn't you? Absolutely, yeah. so what I thought I'd do having never watched A Love Island ever was I did watch and put myself through two episodes and did you think it was shit I enjoyed your bits that's as far as it went do you know what like obviously I'm a massive fan of the show and first of all when we saw that clip of you we were made genuinely we mean this we were literally like come on that is so fucking sweet of you you I think when you came out the first time we just spoke actually just now and you said that it was a completely different sort of reaction when you first came out last season you said that it wasn't the nicest sort of exit you've had um now coming out of it ball game baby talk to me literally i feel like when i came out last time it was i was in the bloody gutters that i came out and i was like everyone fucking hates me and i was like i fucking hate myself at this point i was like what have i just done but like when i got my phone back this time i was like all the girls like i don't want to fucking know i do not want to know you've got no idea when you're in there like what people are actually thinking and like even with like the public votes of like favorite girl favorite boy i was never bottom but i was never favorite either i was a bit like oh god this is mediocre yeah yeah i mean you can't be loved by everyone yeah but mate welcome to the pod like this is where we sit this is what we do yeah we're like fucking mama you know i mean i don't think anyone loves us both.

7:04They either love Sam or fucking love me. Most of the time it's love Sam. He doesn't fucking annoy and I'm just a miserable c*** in the corner. This time around though, like it must be so lovely to see that. I think coming out, I actually got quite emotional when I came out and just seeing all the messages because when I used to go on TikTok and saw any video of me, you best believe I'm fucking scrolling past that video. I ain't looking at the comments. It's all everyone just gunning for me. And then when I came out this time and was looking at everything, I don't know how I've turned it around.

7:35The thing is because I haven't changed. People keep saying, oh, like this bro, blah, blah, blah. I'm still the same person last time. I just wasn't fucking following around a menaced man. We all love a menace. We do. I do love a menace. Yeah. Pete isn't. I am a menace, if I'm honest. What's a menaced man? I don't really know, to be fair. You're not actually really. What is a menaced man? Just like someone that's just chaotic, like, just a bit of a c***, to be honest. So, yeah, pretty much you. Oh, no, that is, yeah, yeah. Oh, excellent, yeah. I mean, to be fair, last week I was called a solid grumpy man and this week I'm a menace man.

8:08It's a solid grumpy man. She basically had a little free holiday for a few weeks. Highs and lows? I'd say majority highs. Oh, actually, no, there was a couple lows. I did cry a couple times. Yeah, sorry, but you sounded really sweet. God, I'm really riding you right now. You sounded really sweet. Well, that's all she's wanted since 2017, mate. something really sweet where you you got quite vulnerable and you're just like i feel like i'm not like connecting with anyone in here yeah but what was that about because that was horrible for us to see you like that it was more when it was when shack had binned me off basically and it wasn't about shack it wasn't like i was head over heels with shack it was more triggering the situation where i was like every time i'm with a man always gets to a point where it's like never goes beyond the point of a situationship and i was like in life or just yeah like in life And I think a lot of boys, because I've got quite laddy banter, people don't really see past that.

9:02And I feel like I keep everything very surface level as well. Like I don't really let a lot of people in because of it. And then it just, it keeps backfiring on me. So I was just sat there thinking, fuck me, I'm 29 years old. I've never had a fucking boyfriend in my life. What the fuck is going on? Been on Love Island twice in the last six months. Like what is actually going to help me at this point? So it was more a bit of like, it wasn't about the situation with Shaq. It was more just triggering of like the overall feeling of it. and I was thinking, fuck me, I'm going to have to sign up for All Stars 4, aren't I?

9:31Are you going for, what's the geezer's name? Casey's title. Yeah. I'm going to give Casey a run for his money now. Fuck it, and the other one, the old fucking dancing fan. Curtis. That's the one. He had a go. I felt quite bad for Curtis. We're going to get into Love Island a little bit more. Just on that note, though, you're one of the funniest people I know and you do have really laddie banter and you're hilarious and you're a lot. You come across as quite confident and actually I don't think it's got anything to do with it being kind of surface level. I just think there's not a lot of men that can handle someone as great as you, and I genuinely mean that as well.

10:05So that's the difference between boys and men, is a man could do that, and actually it's just the wrong type of people. But I don't think that's got any reflection on you because I think you're a wonderful person. We all fucking love you. So that's got fuck all to do with that. Oh, that's really sweet. It'd be good if you could cry on that because it would be fun. Yeah, yeah. Get the viewers up. He's never given that to me. I've got to say but honestly but I genuinely mean that as well and even like watching like obviously since the O2 and that like we've been out a few times like you're so much fun to be around but a lot of blokes are potentially intimidated by someone that is like as fun as you because they can't they can't deal with that I think it's a bit like intimidation sometimes yeah like you never like the boy never wants the girls to be funnier than they am and a lot of times I fucking am well but then yeah exactly and that's exactly it yes Helena you fucking legend I love that do you know what Let's talk about the nice bits though, because you've got a fella now.

10:58Like, are you with him? We're not in a relationship. No, okay, fine. He still lives across the fucking pond. Yeah, but he's coming over, he said, for a month. Best of both though, that, isn't it? Do you know what I mean? Like, Hovis, he's over there, you get fucking good looking fella, you get the best of both, you can pop over to America, fucking happy days. He's had to fuck off for a month and then see him the next month. Yeah, he's been wonderful. So when he's coming over, is he living with you? No. Oh, right. No. No? Him, Yeaman and Zach, all the American boys, is they're all going to get an Airbnb and probably fucking be hanging around tape.

11:27It's like a frat house. Tape every fucking week. Harrison's already told Carrington he's taken him to tape. I was just like, my man ain't anything. Do you know who Harrison is? No, yeah, I didn't think he would. He's a menace. You'd like him? Would I? No, he's actually 23. You wouldn't like him. No. They call him the young bull. Yeah, I thought you'd hate that. Oh, fuck. The young bull. Fuck me. This could be so fun. I think we give Pete all of the fucking backstory of all of the people. Honestly, you're going to have to give me some of this because, yeah, I watched two episodes and it genuinely was to see how you were getting on in there because we're your biggest fans.

12:06We're your Love Island, what do you call it? Stands. Stands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're the fucking stands. But it sounds like it was quite dramatic this season. Very fucking dramatic. Take it away, kids. Talk Love Island. I'll sit back and have a coffee. Where is my coffee? Helena, there's so many things I want to know. Like, okay, for example, Harrison and Lauren, right? Like, what? Okay. Not them playing the fucking podcast at the final. That's messy. That's wild work. That's messy behaviour. I loved it. I was over here for it. Do you think it was messier than the summer, though? Yeah. Really?

12:37Yeah. This is written, Helena, by not me or Pete. I want you to know that now. It's by Pippa. Okay. Producer Pippa. Producer Pippa. Once all the gossip. Yeah. But first of all, she'd like to know who in the villa, if me and Pete were in there, who are you coupling up with? Oh, my God. Well, so you've got the... That's a fucking savage question. So you've got the old flame from 2017. The old flame? Do you know what I mean? You've got the original, like, you know what I mean? The original there, or you've got the old man. Right. Sam, I would couple you up with... No, no, no. Who would you rather be with?

13:13Oh, what? Is that the question? Yeah. Is that this one? Oh, right. Okay. Flipping the script. It's got to be Pete. I think we're both just as well both? like me and me yeah she fucking ate you alive some you know what I think you probably would to be fair I mean you were probably a bit petrified when you saw that tweet no it was hard me and Pete actually did we did a whole reenactment because apparently no one had ever sat on his face before so you taught him something you've lived a very very terrible life. There's something that I really want to know. Go on. Obviously the recoupling part of it is great.

13:56I'm really glad you mentioned me. Thanks so much. But it's not just you that we were connected to in Love Island. We have a connection with someone else that was in Love Island. Well, when I say we, one of us does. Sammy won Love Island. Sam and Sammy. The Sams. The Sammies. Did she speak about Sam? She did.

14:20strap in folks strap in you just can I just say one thing you just no no no no no no you just shush and wait shush and wait shush and wait I would love to just say right now I think she's a lovely person so if she said nasty things I'd be really upset okay she didn't bad mouth you she wasn't good so what did she say tell us everything she didn't really say but you got it was off camera when the producers were in you got brought up I can't remember who was speaking about you and she said that she was just talking I think someone said what would happen with you and Sam but she was she said it was very fleeting that's okay yeah quite fleeting she was talking about the sex though no so so when you say fleeting so obviously she said that he was really quick in bed but what else did she say that was about she didn't really say much else I think she kept it quite okay close to her chest so I'm going to ask you do you think she's upgraded from Sam with the winner of Love Island the current fella who has got Sam's haircut when he dyed it and beard.

15:25Kieran. Kieran. Would you say that's an upgrade from Sam? Upgrade? No, you can't say up. What, in looks or personality or everything? Well, let's do both. In general. Pete is having a field day. Listen, you've always wanted me to get involved in the Love Island chat and here I am doing it and now you're fucking moaning. All right? So in looks, who do you think is better looking? Your original crush? Say whatever you want. Your original celeb crush, Sam Thompson, or the winner of Love Island this year with Sam's ex-girlfriend, Kieran? Well, I don't like rugby boys, so he's not for me. So Sam. It's going to have to be Sam.

16:01Sam wins on the looks. We're taking it back to 2017, sitting on the face, my lord. Come on. Nice, nice, nice. And in terms of personality? Kieran's a funny fucker. Okay, so he's won that. So for once, I'll be honest with you, that's a first. I think I've ever had sort of personality taken away from me but looks given to me. Well, then you go, listen, do you know what? It's part of the glow. It's good. Here we go for it. Nice. Do you know what? And I genuinely mean this. Pete will agree with this. We both actually really love Sammy. Sammy's great. She's really, really sweet. She's sound as fuck.

16:30We were really glad to see her win. Like, she's nice. Because she had such a shit time with it last time when she went on All Stars. For her to come back and do it again. Well, for what? She was barely on it, wasn't she? Yeah,

16:45she wasn't holding longer you love the ones that are only going for a day or two do you know what it's look at me trying to fucking land the plane it's so nice to see like somebody that you because there aren't many actually like I feel like there aren't many sort of people you date right where you actually you finish that have you met me and it's you'll agree with this where it's completely amicable and you go oh yeah I can agree with that there's not many there and you go you know what I really hope you go on to do fucking fantastic things. And I think Pete is like, he loves her. I think she's fucking great.

17:20Why did you two stop dating? Give me the gas. But it's all worked out wonderfully because you are incredibly happy with Tally. Tally's amazing. And I love you so much. And Sammy is upgraded. So listen, everyone's a winner. Everyone's a winner. And we were really, really glad to see you also do so fucking well because you sailed through in all the right ways and all the right reasons as well. I am going to ask you who your favourite person is in the villa. My favourite was probably, well, Tommy. Yeah, he's a sweetheart. I'm a big fan of Tommy. Do you actually know Tommy? Do you know who he is? You've got no fucking clue, do you?

17:56Tommy was a sweetheart. But if you like him, I imagine I would. Yeah, no, you would like him. He's 23 again. He's a bit too young. Do you remember? Well, I'm not going to fuck him. Nice guy. So you'd love Tommy then. Where'd he go? Boy-wise, I think Tommy, girl, probably, I think me and Sammy were the closest in there beautiful and again you know our two phase we never go wrong no we never go wrong we've obviously got the same type in men as well so let's move it on who was your least favourite girl at the time when I was in there it would have been Jessie yeah I mean I said my bit on her when I came out doing it for airtime do you think she did do it for airtime I think she knew she went in there she knew she had about a fucking week and a half left of the show she's got to come in on smoke and she did she did that What did she do for airtime?

18:42Okay, so basically Jessie came in quite late into the game. There's a lot of people coming in late into the game. And we basically are thinking that she'd watched the show. The collective. The collective were thinking that she'd watched the show. She's seen that Lucinda basically was getting pelters. So she came in and basically tried to go for Lucinda and actually, who was her friend, I think, wasn't she? They were friends. Yeah, and then she basically just turned on her mate for airtime and then it just didn't end very well for her. I will say this though Pete I think you'll agree with this It is a game Love Ireland Let's not pretend Most people fucking break up Like You do obviously want some notoriety out of it Hopefully the good kind So Like I feel a little bit better for her Because I think she was just a little bit Blase about it But like Isn't everyone really going in there For a little bit of like Their time right Yeah 100 % Yeah So I feel a bit bad for her Yeah I know I feel bad about saying the air time thing But like Well Did they not play a clip of you saying that she was fake to her in front of her at the Love Island final?

19:45Yeah. How was that for you? Yeah, great. Loved it. No, I mean, I wasn't expecting that. Maya actually came in a couple of nights before she got dumped and said, oh, Helena said you were doing this for airtime. And then it all just went to shit. She was crying. And I was watching it thinking, what the fuck? She was crying? No, she made someone cry. No, it was horrible. It was a really hard watch because I never said that stuff to upset her. But those things are all hard watches, to be fair. Oh, Love Island, I find it hard watch. But they are because you always say things, right? And you are, do you know what's so great about you is that you do just tell the truth.

20:19You don't have a filter on it, which is lovely, by the way. You and Pete are very similar that way, to be fair. Unhinged. So it must be, yeah, it must be a bit shit to see. But like, you know, that's just how it goes, right? It does. And the thing is, it's like when, Jessie is a lovely girl. I'm not saying she's not a lovely girl, but you can see when you're in there and you're living amongst these people, you can see when you're in the dressing room and you're all getting ready, everyone's lovely and then suddenly you see a turn in them when you're out in the garden. It's like... I mean, as I say, my love island knowledge isn't great so I don't know exactly how it kind of works but I will say from our background from years ago, from like how we made in Chelsea, you do find when the cameras start rolling, there's like a flick in some people's eye.

21:05the amount of times that I used to be finer or people wouldn't say boo to a goose to me and then suddenly you stick a camera and they come in all guns and I think see you silly c*** wait till that camera's switched off and then suddenly it's oh I'm so sorry but what the f*** is that? I thought this was supposed to be real f***ing life. Mate I used to f***ing hate that they used to literally go action and then they'd be like they'd come for you like wait what the f*** and I'd go huh? Yeah they were so, I've got loads of people who were awful like that but I've got to say in terms, I forgot what I was going to say, because you were so right there.

21:36You just changed the thing. It's so true. Oh, I do apologise. No, let's all have a minute. Altered your brain chemistry. Oh, my God. Altered his brain chemistry. This is not the first time. Yeah, there's not much in there, to be fair, Helena. Carry on with whatever you were going to say. Thanks. So, look, so this time around was obviously much better for you. Yeah, you enjoyed it more. You've now done it twice within six months. Are we going for a record? Would you return?

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23:46I ain't beating Casey on this. I'm not competing with him. I hope to God that's my last love island. Well, because you may have found the love of your life. Maybe. You may be. You know, the old yank. In Utah. I've never been to fucking Utah. In Utah? Are you going to go to Utah? I just can't see him. Yeah. What do they do in Utah? Ride all season that? Yeah. Is that sort of a place? What is it? Like mountain-y? They do what? Yes. They do what? Mormons. Mormons? Oh, Mormons. Is he a Mormon? No.

24:17I think you go down really well in America. I think you go down fucking well. No, I think they'd hate you. Obviously. Really? And I'll tell you why. It's because we are quite similar and Americans are not a big fan of me, generally. Oh. No, they don't get the sense of humour. No, I feel like I could, me in a cowboy hat, a little cowboy boots. No, I think, listen, you look great over there. Oh, you think personality, they're fucking aiming. Not a lot of people do. Americans don't really get my sense of humour, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't think they get our sense of humour. Well, that's another question.

24:44What is it you like so much about your fella? Is it his smoulder? He's definitely not the fucking smoulder. Oh, no, he's got a brilliant smoulder. Do you think? Do me the smoulder? I can't even do it. It's something like... Is he like, he's got bad eyesight. Let's just say, he gave me the ick when I first met him. I had to bin him off before I got back with him. Well, let me tell you about one of the episodes I watched. And I think this is something that really, I couldn't take my eyes off it. Heart rate challenge. I didn't know this was a thing. That's how I got off the ick. Well, yeah. I mean, he fucking looks fucking good, the boy.

25:22He's quite gentle. His hips moving. What was it about him that made you wet? All of it. Was it the rhythm? Was it the body? It was the way the hips were moving and that. I was thinking, that boy's doing bits in the bedroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Were you picked up and dry humped on the floor like everyone else? Yeah, dry humped like a fucking dog, mate. Amazing. I couldn't believe how many people went with a dry hump on the deck. May I ask you a question, if that's okay, Helena? Oh, you don't have to put your hand up. I feel like I'm in some real, like, I feel like I'm in a debate. Do you enjoy, like, when...

25:56Dry humping on decking? No, but you know, like, is it awkward? The heart rate challenge is fucking hell and horror. It is hell and fucking horror. Who gives the outfit? Because obviously everyone has to wear an outfit. Yeah, no, I saw that. Who, like, who divvies out? Like a leopard print. Yeah, you went as Cal Baskin. Cat Slater. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Cat Slater. Cat Slater. No, it literally looked like some fucking slaggy chav gone to the public. But how does this work? So what do they do? They kind of match the outfit to the person? They go, yeah, who's the chaviest in the handling? Do they allocate genuinely?

26:29Do they go, you're going to have this outfit? Yeah, they make you wear it. But do they stitch you up? So, for example, if you're like, oh, I don't like that. I look like Carol fucking Baskin. They go, that's for you. Is that how it works? Yeah, you can't really change it. So how do you pre-plan, you know, as someone that's previously done the full Monty and has considerable dancing experience, how did you come up with your routine? Well, I'm not being frank. We were all in the dressing room. Whitney was giving it fucking beans in the dressing room, teaching us what we were doing. she took one look at me and went there's no chance you've got no hope i am stiff as a fucking pencil like i've got no rhythm at all like i'm so fucking stiff and i was thinking i don't know what the fuck i'm doing here but what does help you is a slow-mo oh yeah it doesn't look that good in real life i need to see it sped up because imagine the silence as well because do they play music or not yeah imagine if it was silence they would just go what do you mean do you play music you couldn't do it in silence but a lot of these things are they used to do i think it was only up until about three years ago you did it in silence.

27:29Mate, what? You raw-dogged a heart rate challenge. That honestly gives me the squeaking of the balls whilst you're thrusting on them. Whilst you're getting dry. So who, and then from what I said, so you dance on everyone, basically. Yeah. Do you give it beans on everyone? Yeah. I was necking Tommy and I look at Tommy as my little fucking brother. No, what I mean is because they're dancing on everyone. Do you like try? Oh. For everyone. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I even, I fucking neck Tommy and I look at him as like a little brother. It actually got a bit weird at one point. Yeah. And is he, he's 23?

28:07Yeah. So in terms of, yeah, and the heart rate challenge, it's a challenge because you have to raise as many, what? Yeah, raise as many heart rates as you possibly can. So who's heart rate did you raise the most? No one. No one, okay. One fucker in that gaffe. Not one, not one of them. Not one of them. All right. Stiff as a board, like you said. I told you, I'm stiff as fuck. Who raised your heart rate the most? Harrison. And that's not your fella? No. No. Harrison's the guy that was on my last series that I had a little fling with. And did that. Your heart rate was raised most by the ex? How did the new fella take that?

28:41No. Carrington. I'd binned him off that day, so it was fine. You'd binned him off that day? I'd bin Carrington off before the heart rate, Charlie. Because you fancied your ex? God, this is like fucking his standards. It makes phenomenal view, I've got to say. He raised my heart the most because it was like a fucking jump scare. He raised your heart the most. He got me on the floor and was doing that Chris Brown dance. Oh, I know the exact one. No, that's one of the boyfriends hate. Show me how it goes. Yeah, go on, Sam. Oh, no. I can't do it. It's only your voice is in trouble here, mate. You ain't got fucking...

29:10It's where they fucking put on the chair. He starts fucking going like that. Oh, fuck. He starts like, do you know what I mean? He starts like getting the, like, doing the, like, and he comes behind him and then kisses him. Oh, right. Oh, so he's a bit of a mover, yeah? Yeah, he's a bit of a mover and a shaker. But he did the same move on me in the summer in the heart rate challenge. Oh, so you knew it was coming. So for you, it was like muscle memory. That made, like, I'm back for this. Come and give it to me. Talking about Harrison, actually, him and Lauren, obviously there was that big sort of fiasco at the end.

29:38We saw the podcast clip. Like, what's your opinion on that? I mean, I spoke to Lauren when they broke up and they were still talking. But then I also think when you break up with someone, you do keep in contact sometimes. I don't think that's the worst thing. So they were still talking. So some background for people who might not have seen that. Basically, Harrison is one of the late arrivals in the villa. And he basically coupled up with someone. Lauren then did a podcast being like, we've still been talking as if we're sort of like still hooking up. They hadn't actually met up since they broke up.

30:14But he basically promised her that he wasn't going on All Stars. And I said to her, don't be fucking surprised if you see him walk in that villa because I'm telling you. You'd know being his ex. Liar. I'm just trying to get involved, guys. He probably came in for me, didn't he? Well, probably, yeah. Well, he tried it. Did he? He did, yeah. Oh, God, you can't have your cake and eat it. He tried to fucking run it back. Do you think that he was in quite deep contact with her? I think he was, yeah. I've spoken to her since I've come out as well, and she's very adamant that they were talking, almost as if they were still in the relationship they just hadn't met up.

30:48Yeah. In between breaking up. Yeah. Guys, I'm just trying to be involved. Carry on. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like, I said, she's had a piece on it now. There's not really much more for her to say. Like, he's gone and done that. Just let it be. Yeah. Let him do his little ting. Probably be on All Stars next summer as well. Yeah. And the one after that. Well, coming back for you again. Yeah, maybe. He's going to run it back for a third time. No, because you're now with somebody and it sounds like you're quite happy. Oh, God, I forgot you're in love with a fucking American. Yeah, exactly.

31:19and you know there was a lot of there was a lot of aggro which as a viewer I fucking loved this season one of them being obviously Lucinda came in and just tornadoed everyone like fucking mental and she she comes in and she she obviously pies Sammy in the face why why why was that that pie was the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life so she puts a vim behind it yeah no there was what was it a cream pie it was a cream pie and i was stood next to sammy and i was like fucking hell she meant that pie but the thing is they were friends before they went in yeah and then it was only when they got in there and i think they had a conversation or sammy was calling lucinda out about something and lucinda turned around and went no we're not friends no we're not that close and i think sammy just saw red at that point because she as soon as she came in sammy said i really like lucinda like we're really close blah blah blah and then lucinda just fucking annihilated her Do you know what?

32:18This is something you'll get because every time when you've done one of these fucking shows, right, where you always leave and there's a fucking group chat and everyone's in it and then you pretend to like, you do talk for like the first couple of weeks, maybe a month and then the first person who's normally Pete. Pete has left the group, by the way, happens the minute I'm fucking away. Two minutes after entering. I've been in those groups before where it's gone Pete's left. I've been like, yeah, I'm surprised you've stayed around for that fucking long. Is there a group chat this time around? No.

32:45Not yet. Not yet. There was in the summer we had a group chat. Not one fucker said one thing in there. Not once. Thing is, when you're in there, you think, oh, we're all going to be best friends and you come out. You don't know these people. Like you never met them before. But there's like a couple of people I knew before and all stars. And then you kind of think like, no, I'm probably never going to fucking speak to you ever again. Genuinely, on behalf of Staying Relevant, we're very, very proud of you. Very proud of you. So have you done with the Love Island gossip? Can I go back? Can I re-enter the chat?

33:16You may re-enter the chat. Because I've got a text. Come back in. Is that good? Is that granddad? Get it. Get back in. All right. So look, a bit more generic. If you, who would your dream person have been to enter? Do you know what? I think I said, wait, previous Islanders. Yeah. Yeah, Jax O 'Neill. Oh, right. Jack Fowler. Jack Fowler. Nice guy, Jack. No Jack, tall guy. Yeah, Jack Fowler. What about not ex-Islanders? What, anyone? Anyone. Pete.

33:57But there's an age limit on Love Island. Yeah, you're too fucking old. If they bring back the veteran years. We actually have made a small petition not staying relevant of getting Pete on Love Island. So what they like to do is they like... I think you would cause fucking carnage in there. You'd be surprised you actually wouldn't. He'd sit there in the corner. He'd just be, yeah, he'd be moody as fuck. He'd sit there in the corner smoking and he'd be... You're not even allowed to smoke. There'd be someone... I'm fucking going. So you ain't going on there. There'd be someone coming over to Pete, right?

34:21And they'd be like, do you want to go for a chat? He'd be like, no. And he'd go, no, I fucking don't. He'd be like, no, he'd sit there and be like, I'm quite happy here. If you want to say something, say it now. Like, he'd be like, I'm not moving from here. I've got a beer and I'm not going anywhere else. Ain't no one pulling me for a chat nowhere. There's a fucking seat here, son. You know what I mean? Don't worry about that. Imagine Pete sleeping in those tiny little beds. Well, they... Eh? The beds, they're like double beds, but they're kind of singles, really. And they're like... Oh, you all sleep in the same room, don't you?

34:44Yeah. Fuck that. And you all share a bathroom, Pete? No, you don't. You do? No, no, no, no, no. You share a shower. There's two showers. And at one point, there was like 22 of us in there. It is Pete's worst nightmare. No, it would just be an absolute fucking nightmare for me. It's raining thunderstorms. There's Pete's outside getting rained on. I'll fucking survive. Don't worry about that. I'll camp outside. I'd rather be wet than pissed off. Okay, question. I think, Helena, you can maybe be the judge for us on this one. If Pete were to go on on Love Island, a recoupling speech from Pete I think would be fucking iconic.

35:17Pete, if you were going to. Okay, you're going to have to explain to me. Okay, recoupling speeches. As you're basically stood around the fire pit and you're deciding who you want to couple up with, whether it's the person you've already been with or whether you want to couple up with someone else, you basically say a little speech about why you want it to be them. Normally they go quite heartfelt. Sometimes they go a little bit savage. what would you say? I know what Pete's would go like. Go on, what would it be? He would say something like, I'm going to couple up with you because you're fit as fuck and I don't want to talk to any other fucker, innit?

35:42That'll be it. Everyone else is boring. Well, it's straight to the point. And I've got, you know, because sometimes they do waffle on, don't they? They do. Do you know what I mean? All right. Do you want me to do one? Yeah, go on. Give Helena one. What about the coupling speech? What? How do they start these? The person I want to couple up. Yeah, yeah. No, you've got to say, I want to couple up with this person because... Right, I want to couple up with this person because I feel like she's unlucky in love. I feel like she's misunderstood. I feel like people don't get to see behind the sort of hard exterior.

36:20They don't get to really be inside her. I think she's an incredibly special person. And also, I'll be honest with you, I despise every other person in this villa. so she's the only person that I would like to spend any time with because the rest of you make me violently sick. So the person that I'd like to couple up with is the person that no one else wants, it's Helena. And then, by the sounds of it, you're going to the hideaway. And then it's straight to the hideaway. Then it's straight to the hideaway, which is where people do or sometimes do not. You can't go in the hideaway in a couple. So we'd have to get the hideaway in first before the recouples.

36:58What do you mean? So the place where people fuck, you can't do when you're in a couple. You've got to do it with someone else's fella. That's brilliant producing. I mean, that's incredible. Brilliant producing. So basically, let's promote cheating.

37:14Well, just stay single then. You can take every single, everyone will be in it. Well, I'll tell you what, if you've got to share a bedroom, I'll just live in the hideaway and pop along when you fancy a bit. That sounds like the best way to do Love Island. why share a bedroom when I can have my own fucking room and just say listen darling you know where I am alright and once you're done send in another one alright because I'm not in any couples so any of you are open to this alright I'm here there's plenty of me I go around it'll be the way I've spent the last 37 years just it's a free for it's like an all you can eat buffet do you know what I love welcome self service Pete will basically it will be called I'd like to go and see Hideaway Pete and it's basically to test your relationship it's like do you know what you pissed me off I'm going to go see your hideaway Pete.

37:56And Pete's lying on the bed and goes, you are, darling, you need to come in. Everyone, come on, darling, come in. Come and see Peekaboo, Pete. That is fucking brilliant. Oh, my God. Right, so listen, you've, I mean, granted, you've only just got back literally today, which is fucking incredible. But you've been out for a little while. So you've had your phone and stuff for a while. Any interesting DMs since you left? Any slide-ins? Any what? Slide-ins. No, not really. No. No, but I feel like, because I've come out of a fella now, people are like fucking... So you're fully together, exclusively together?

38:31No, no, no. Well, I mean, you just said it, darling. I mean, listen, make your mind go, fella. You can't. Because you can't, if you're in a relationship... No, but I've left in a couple. You left in a couple? Oh, sorry, what I didn't get... Yeah, we discussed this before. No, no, no, we've discussed this before. So you've left in the pre-contracted couples, but it's not officially in real life. It's just the sort of reality ITV couple that you're in. Yeah, but at least it's not the whole exclusive thing that... So when do you become exclusive? You don't do exclusive. You only do that in the fucking villa.

38:57You can't be exclusive on the outside. But last time I went exclusive in the villa, it lasted 24 hours. It's one of my longest relationships, that would be. Incredible. But also, obviously, we know you from being on Love Island and obviously your explicit tweet about Sam. How did you originally even get on Love Island? Because you're a flight attendant. I spoke to Mark, funny enough, last night, someone that we both know. He said, hi. how did you go from being a flight attendant to being on Love Island? I was on a flight coming back from Cape Town and I was serving Mike, the director of Love Island, in business.

39:34And then this was in 2022, I think. So he was trying to get me on the series with Sammy, your expert. Who? His expert. Oh, Sammy. Yes, the winner of Love Island 2026 who used to date Sam Thompson. So he tried to get me on that series, went through the process of it and then it got to like the day before the photo shoot and I rang him and I thought, I'm not coming. Oh, really? Yeah, I was like, I don't want to do it. I didn't panic. I never wanted to do it anywhere and I thought, I like my life anyway. I don't want to do it. That was that. And then I was on another flight going to Cape Town, not Christmas gone, the Christmas before, and Mike was on the flight again.

40:09And he was like, I'm not taking this one. So one way or another, it's saying one of you is stalking the other one. He's stalking me basically. And I had no fucking choice. Help, hands up. Fuck it, I'm going to Love Island. I don't think anyone else can say that their casting process was being stalked by the guy that runs Love Island. So I love that. Helen, you've come out, you say you don't want to go back in again, right? This is always something that happens. You know, you go onto a TV show twice. I mean, me and Pete have done fucking every show under the sun, so we can really relate to this.

40:36You did Slabs go dating like five times? No, no, no, he did it four. I did it twice. Oh, you did it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Four times? Yes, darling, don't you? Fuck me, he loves to date, doesn't he? I'm a returner. I'm like fucking, I'm like comedia. I always come back. I can't get rid of you. Always comes back. but what would you what would you say you'd want to do now would you go back to that life would you stay in this sort of lane like where do you want to go from here because if you don't want to go back on Love Island you've got to pick a lane what does the future hold for Helena what does it hold I mean what are you going to do when you split up with your fella I'd probably go back on Love Island okay so you didn't deny that you're probably going to split up with him no I'm joking I'm joking I don't want to do any more dating shows I don't think well listen never say never darling oh yeah I'd probably be like you 37 and still doing it alright All right, that was...

41:20That's a low glow that was, wasn't it? Slightly unnecessary. I did it twice. What? What? So let's go dating. Yeah. Oh, you'd be great on that. Do you think? Yeah. Yeah, but all the celebs just end up shagging each other. No. No? No, they don't. No, no, no, no. But maybe something like... Me and Beth were talking earlier. SAS, I'd be fucking sick of it. You'd be brilliant at that. No, no, Sam, I'd be fucking terrible. You... Someone... Sammy was saying, I suppose you passed out. Some sort of plane passed out. No, slow yourself down, girl. All right? He did. He broke two ribs as well. Three ribs.

41:51Three ribs. Still got them broken. Broke three ribs, knocked myself unconscious in the ocean, nearly drowned. Oh, stunning. So I went back and had another go. But Sam's also done SES. SES would be good. Are you sort of fit? Yeah. Physically? Yeah. Yeah? I mean, I haven't seen a gym in about two months, but... You haven't seen a gym in two months? No. No, I think you'd be good. I haven't seen a gym in sort of 20 years. I would love to see you in SS I think you do fucking I think I'd be shit at it but I'm I'm not one to quit I'll just keep it going I would have loved you to be my flight attendant as well we would have got along so well do you remember the flight we did to Vegas yeah they hated you yeah mate I think you would have liked me yeah no I'd have loved having you by the end of it they wouldn't even look at me they were literally they were like well that's because you'd fucking done a huge dump in the fucking toilet it wasn't me it wasn't fucking try to blame it on other people You then ask them to voice note me.

42:45I was asleep. He then brought back, woke me up to show me a voice note from a flight attendant to say that it wasn't him that did a dump. I was nowhere near it. So that's got nothing to do with anything. It's absolutely mental. And I'll tell you what, I could explain the story more, but let's just leave it at that. Basically, Sam shits his way through a fucking flight and then wakes me up to tell me all about it. What I will say is, obviously, I did watch you on Love Island and obviously you came and did the O2 for us and having you on this podcast, whatever you do, I think you'd be amazing at me because your personality just fucking shines through and I think if you carry on doing TV, I think you'll be absolute gold dust.

43:23You're one of the good ones, mate. We really are. Yeah, we genuinely love you and so does Stan Relevant and everyone here. And the fact, even this, I'm going to say this as well, the fact that you had a delayed flyer and came straight here and did this, no one would fucking do that and that's genuinely, we really appreciate it. And we don't forget those kind of things either. All the girls are saying to me, you're fucking mental. What are you doing? Yeah, well, do you know what? Fuck the girls. Yeah, fuck them. All right? Fuck them. Fuck them. You're fucking part of family here, mate. Of course you're fucking dropping by.

43:53Fuck it. And that's why we didn't ask any of you fuckers. Yeah, you're just jealous you're not here. We took out the good one. The rest of you, apart from you, Sammy, winner of Love Island 2026, and ex-girlfriend of Sam Thompson, we love you. But the rest of you, listen, we've got the best one here. I think this has gone twinningly. I'll be honest with you. I was worried because I don't know much about Love Island, but I think I've been really involved and I think I've done a really good job. I was really excited. Not as excited as me. To have this podcast and do this about Love Island and I've scarred.

44:24Oh my God, Helena, what a wonderful experience this has been. And I echo exactly what Pete said. And I know you know we're sincere when we say this. Anything you go and do, you have our full support from this podcast. We hope that you go on and do phenomenal things. You came across fucking incredibly well. on Love Island you even got Pete to watch a couple of episodes one of the hardest things to fucking do thank you for being here really appreciate it Helena Ford everybody

44:51so thank you for listening to Staying Relevant with me Pete Wick Sam Thompson and the incredible Helena Ford if you want to feature in this podcast then make sure you email hello at srproductions.co.uk rate with you do all of that fucking crap you know the shit by now and yeah ta-da love you enjoy your tube journey or wherever you listen to the podcast because you don't have to listen to it on the tube. There are other... Or your flight. Just finish it. We've got shit to do. This has been a Staying Relevant production.

45:39one place because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com.

45:53Hello Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favorite games, all with fictional characters. so prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.