194: Iain Stirling spills Love Island secrets!

0:01Cha-ching! That's the sound of Lowe's Labor Day Savings. Get up to 45 % off select major appliances and save up to an additional$100 on select laundry pairs. Plus, get three bags of Miracle-Gro.75 cubic foot garden soil for just$10. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. Soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Quick question. When was the last time a display ad changed your mind? Now think about the last time a friend told you about something they loved. Different feeling, right?

0:39That's how podcast advertising works. A host who's built real trust with their audience talks about your brand in their own words, in their own voice. It doesn't interrupt the experience. It's part of it. With Acast, you can access the world's largest podcast marketplace. Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. Then watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions. You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting ACAST.com slash advertise.

1:10Hello and welcome to Staying Relevant with me, Sam Thompson, and my best friend, Peter James, Jonathan Joseph Wicks, who is not here. He is still away. I am trying my best. Where is he? He's in Thailand. Thailand? Yeah, yeah, yeah. finding himself in Thailand. I'm doing my best to hold the fort right now. How long has he been in Thailand? He's been in Thailand for two weeks, I believe. Yeah, two weeks. And Saint-Tropez before that. And Saint-Tropez before that. Saint-Tropez. Ian, this was meant to be a surprise guest of who we've got, but loads of talking has happened now. So as you can imagine, we are joined by a very special guest, someone that I adore, someone who's always actually been there.

1:51Whenever I needed a little bit of advice, every time I see you, you're always so lovely to meet me. Okay. it's Mr Ian Sterling everybody thank you thank you you are that guy by the way though mate no am I yeah 100 % every time I see you and it's not that often but whenever I see you like you know whenever we cross paths you're always there to give a little bit of advice mate and I always remember it yeah that's a really sweet thing to say it is always something I worry about because you obviously people remember you I always how are you remembered exactly it's like my one of my genuine core fears that people were like oh what a dick what a fucking dick no not at all mate that really means a lot no thank you very much yeah mate the thing is because you're like the not the old guard you're not much older than I am but like you're the generation in our industry above me right because you've been doing TV the telly generation the telly generation back when people used to do telly but this what's so weird mate is that I'm a hybrid right so because we're sort of in the decline of TV obviously I joined what?

2:53but I sorry what? we're in the decline other than other than all the things you're doing we've got a couple of TV shows to promote that's why I'm here you know what we're in though we're in the what an unbelievable only Sam Thompson starts an interview for someone who's here to promote his two new TV shows by going welcome into the decline of television if that's the case I'm on it too no you're fine no you're not wrong you're not wrong but you came up via that entire TV system. Then when I started TV, all I wanted to do and all my, the Jamie Langs of this world, like sort of like our sort of era of TV, we always looked up to that golden generation, right?

3:36And so we were in a really weird position because like you saw the birth of digital, but we always wanted to do what you guys do. So it's like that really weird juxtaposition of like, where do we go? It's really funny that isn't it? I always feel like people are so intrigued by stuff. They kind of like, you know, like Socrate is such a good example of that because like all the like YouTubers want to be like musicians and all the musicians want to be like a comedian and all the old school comedians are like, you did an advert for Heinz Ketchup. How much? That's basically all any comedian over the age of 40 does.

4:11It just asks YouTubers how much they got paid for a thing. They hate it as well. They don't hate it. No, they're like fair play. Right. It's so, I've seen people get absolutely, Socrate's a brilliant example because everyone comes together. So it's loads of different people in loads of different industries come together to play this football game. And you're like, wait, what? These Twitch streamers, like Angry Ginge, you make how much? I know, it's so good. It's so great. Mate, we're going to get onto loads of that. I'm sorry that Pete's away. He would have loved to be here with you, by the way.

4:40He adores you as well. I do love, I've got a lot of time for Pete. Such a lovely, lovely man. He's a real, real good guy. And he doesn't always want to be away, by the way. I do feel bad that we're just slagging him off for being away all the time. Fuck him. Do you know what? I think we're all right to say that. Fuck him. Fuck Pete, actually. Fuck Pete Wicks. Yeah, clip that up. Yeah. I don't want to do the gun fingers towards you. Kill him. You've gone from feeling bad to gun fingers down the lens. What a meek gun fingers. It was only one. Most middle class gun I've ever seen in my life. Excuse me.

5:15You're like a highwayman. Your money or your life. Let's have a duel, sir. That's it, your jewel fingers I feel like though We're doing alright I feel like I'm holding the fort Pippa, alright Doing well Yeah, yeah, yeah We don't even need Pete Kind of thing I think you sack him off Forget the decline of TV This is the decline of Pete Wicks Fucking very Bit him off He's actually filming a TV show At the minute What a waste of time What a waste Making television What a waste of his time What a fuck Who does TV instead of a podcast What a nutter What an absolute moron Do you know what this I've missed I've missed this Ian I think you're fucking you're so fucking quick and I just can't believe you used to be a lawyer studying law studying law before you're doing this I can't because I've obviously grown up I watched you on kids TV mate so like yeah well I got that kids TV job while I was at university so I was studying law at Edinburgh University when I got the kids TV job that's fucking so it was pretty mad yeah What made you go from studying law to that?

6:20Like that's such a huge gap. Well, I was doing stand-up and I started doing stand-up in 2009. And that's during the incline of TV. TV, this is on the way up. It was, it was dead popular, people watched it. But so I was doing stand-up and then like really early doors, I was doing a gig at the Comedy Store in London and then someone saw me there and asked me to do kids TV. And I auditioned I sort of didn't want to But they've paid for my train to London and stuff So I was like, I've got no money, so I'll do that And I got the job And then I was only doing it to get down to London To do more stand-up But then there was a guy called Phil Fletcher Who's Hacker the Dog If anyone remembers, Hacker the Dog So we lived together and we became best mates And then we really enjoyed working together Like you and Pete, basically You lived with Hacker the Dog?

7:13We lived together I used to build puppets all the time so our hob was always loads of different colours. Bringing back someone from a night out, you're like, don't worry about it. I once came back from dinner with a girl and we walked into the living room and he was with all people that we worked with at BBC. They were all smashed. They were all watching Muppet, A Christmas Carol. And they all had puppets that he had built and they were all walking around the living room and I walked into the door with this girl and then she obviously went, I've got to go now. No! Yeah, obviously. it's like a cult did you turn around and be like I understand no of course I was like sorry I didn't know they were going to be here sort of felt like do you know like one of those kids shows when like a guy lives with puppets yeah but here we are I think this is going to be one of this could be what this could be meandering this conversation I think we're going to meander quite a bit to be fair in those beautiful new shoes that you have actually as well don't bring up the I can't yeah Ian told me that he didn't want us to mention them but he actually has the same aspects that I have give the camera a little show just quickly mate there we are the luminous greens he is going to be running home after this as well.

8:14Every time I come on anything, I talk about my fucking clothes because I don't dress properly. And one time I just wanted to look normal and I'm running home after this and I didn't want to bring another pair of trainers in my bag and I should have done. And now I've got these on. You look fucking great. Now, and I would also, anyone in the comments section, I asked four or five people if these looked alright and they said yes. So if any of you pricks start going, oh, what's the state of view? I thought that as well. Other people told me this. So you're not making fun of me, you're making fun of them.

8:51Yeah. They're shit fashion choices. I personally think I look awful. So the joke's on you. Tell you what's not awful, mate. Beautiful segue. Roast the internet. Yes, please. So season one, I really, really enjoyed, by the way. Thanks, man. It was fucking great. It's really good. It is really good. It's something so, it's so funny because this is obviously we're here to talk about about this and another show that Ian's... All these TV shows. All these TV shows. It's not dying. It's a brilliant fucking show. But I actually fucking loved season one. Right. So for people who are listening to this, explain what the show is.

9:26Roast the Internet is... It was originally going to be a sort of like green screen me looking at funny clips on the internet and going, like, you've been framed. But then it became so much more than that. and it's now sort of like me and three comedians or like three like people that are off the telly or whatever. Panelists. Funny panelists. Analyzing internet trends, looking at why the internet's the way it is, looking at some like funny people, finding like sort of really like people on the internet you like, you know those little accounts you've got that you think are like just for you, little niche things.

10:03It turns out loads of people are into it. Yeah, so it's like a proper just analysis of the internet. How far can you go? Can you really mug people off? Because this is the thing. I love following actually Instagram accounts that really go in on the most embarrassing influencer in the wild kind of shit. Because I know how much you would probably want to go. Like we all would want to, as a comedian as well, would want to go in on them. But because you're on telly, is it harder? No, I think Comedy Central are pretty cool about what we can and can't do, to be fair. The only annoying thing is, the hardest thing about the show is getting the clips out because you're not allowed to show, weirdly, you're not allowed to show the clips on the internet.

10:42Like we can show the clips on TV if we like, it's called think of fair dealing, like if we analyse them, but you can't show them. So then we really get to see what we do. But I think I do, we do go on and people, but I like to go on and people that deserve it. Do you know what I mean? Like if people are being cynical or using the internet for like gain or to spread like misinformation or like, el well. What I don't like to do is to go on the internet and just get someone who's like trying their best. isn't very good because we have had that like we do not all the time but sometimes someone gave us this like clip and it was just but do you know what I mean and I get the human instinct but I really don't like it like we got we showed a clip and we show hundreds so but one was like and we didn't know it was coming up and it just went on and it was just these like folk in America trying to do improv but like they were terrible I've seen it I've seen it do you know the one isn't there a lady in like a pink sweater or something I think it might be And she shuffles, we've all seen that clip.

11:39It's so good. And they're doing like things you don't want to hear in an airplane. And like some guy walks forward and going, oh no, we're all going to crash or whatever. It's quite good actually when I do it. But the point is, but like stuff like that, then you've got free comedians having a go at people that are trying to do comedy. So like, but that won't be in the show, I don't think. So like we are very, I don't want it. It's not that. What it is, is we might look at, you know, like these sort of like um just say me no no no i'm fucking these sort of like um do you know these sort of like ceo guys yeah oh my god wake up at four in the morning yeah go to bed at six in the morning i have three days within one day and you're like wait that doesn't make any fucking sense he goes if i get up at 3 a.m my day finishes at midday yeah and then i have another day after that you're like and he's like you're smoked if i have like that against you it's like i don't that doesn't make sense yeah this guy is a genuine guy and he's like so he loves he says he has three days and a day and he goes like over a week um you're you're never getting anywhere near me over a month you're absolutely smoke yeah you're toast and then he's like he's like and then by the end he's not having three days he's you i've got one day it makes no sense i never understand that but what's crazy to me though ian is the people that watch them actually genuinely believe that kind of stuff no so like it's pretty same so that's a perfect example with your roast internet so what What I did for one of my clips is like, we looked at all these CEOs and they were obsessed with getting up earlier and earlier and earlier.

13:07So what I did is I tried to make a thousand pounds in a day by being a CEO. So I got up at like three in the morning to go into town, but like the tube was closed. So I had to get a taxi, which costs like 40 quid. And I got into Leicester Square and it was just me and like a drunk. I was like, oh, you must listen to Diary of a CEO. It's like a fellow who's up early. Me, him and this pigeon hung out Do you believe in any of that? No, I don't really Ice baths Well, ice baths I mean, saunas are the thing You're becoming one of them Oh, I love a sauna Yeah Oh, do you know saunas are genuine After sleep, they're like the best thing for your health ever Yeah, Scandies But the cold Scandies Why did you laugh at that?

13:52They're good for your health, aren't they? Scandinavians It's Finnish It's not Finnish or do you mean oh no you're not even oh right you're not even talking about saunas you're just naming people you know that have that's the most that's the most Sam Thompson reaction to anything I said sauna you're like playing Scandinavia like if I'm talking about football you'll go Ronaldo yeah word association I really try to like join in I'm like yeah Scandinavians trying to sound intelligent do you like guys no I'm a sauna Scandinavians don't have a CEO fuck so I get it I understand so that's the way we're going that's the way we're going so yeah we're attacking those sorts of people and like you know the people that create this sort of world I don't like the idea of like young boys and girls looking at these people going I'm not successful because I don't drink my own body wet in creatine every morning it's like bullshit did have a creatine shake this morning oh I'm not creatine's good you should have a bit of creatine but it's not the difference between being a fucking millionaire or like a homeless person.

15:02Just spooning that shit in, hoping it'll do something. You've got any creating, you mug. It's not that. Just like have creating if you want. It's quite good for you. Mate, you've had fucking good guests as well. AJ Doodoo, Chloe Burrows, Joel Domit, Jonathan Ross, Catherine Ryan. Jonathan Ross came on it. Mate, that's wild. That was so cool. Was he good? Yeah, I massively look up to Jonathan Ross for two reasons. because one, obviously one of the best TV presenters of all time, the GOAT. Talk about presenting TV during the incline. You don't get much more inclinier than Jonathan Ross. God damn it.

15:36Do you remember that? He was on telly. Where's he gone now? He's probably on a podcast right now. And he's like one of the biggest vintage toy collectors on the planet. I did know that. and he also, he's a massive, he's a bit of a nerd like us. Yeah, well, he's got the biggest vintage toy collection. I'm glad that you accepted the nerd as well. Oh yeah, of course, yeah. I love everything. Like everything that I loved, everything that got my head kicked in as a kid is now cool to do now. It's so fucking annoying. Mate, we grew up in the wrong generation. I 100 % did. Pokemon cards, Marvel comics.

16:14I actually get annoyed when I see popular kids in like Marvel stuff. You didn't like it when he was young. I want to kick their heads in. so this is what it was like for me i had to leave my hulk t-shirt at home yeah and wear like a ben sherman shirt i hated it i know i used to have warhammer i had warhammer me and my friend darren got a bus home from town we'd been warhammer shopping they they were going to mug one of us they later told the police these three men by the way so we were like 14 these three 21 year old men followed my mate Darren on the bus waited till he got off kicked his fucking head in went to mug him realised it was Warhammer and got annoyed at him for having shit stuff they were like what the fuck do you call this like you're a bloke you've just beaten me up I'm 10 and it's also these are my custodies these are my undead warriors undead warriors were the best they were like they were the ones I like to do because they were skeletons but they held weapons.

17:18They were the Necrons. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah. I'm a proper nerd. But were you Warhammer? I was Warhammer 3000, but I'm about - 40k. Yeah, see, I'm a couple years older than you. Shit, you were 3000, mate. That's wild. You have that stuff. You were early Warhammer. If you have that stuff still boxed, you would be in the money. I know exactly what you mean, though, by the way, because if, for example, so Ian, you do Twitch, right? You do Twitch stream. Gaming, playing, video games when I was a kid. Loser. Kids, when they're doing FIFA and all of these, like Minecraft and shit, they're making, they're driving Lambos, mate.

17:54Minecraft, you'd have been stabbed at my school if Minecraft was a thing. Mate, I love that. Imagine going to school in the 90s, I made, and I love Minecraft, by the way, genuinely. I play it, but I made a pen for my sheep. You'd be dead, you'd be actually dead. I also, I... And now, like, what do you know? Oh, I made pens for my sheep. Oh, you're a millionaire. now and going out like an only fans yeah you've got an only fans model girlfriend and you're playing in soccerade with kafu yeah i feel the exact same way i just i'm too i'm just a bit too far gone i really want to start twitch actually not on the script but any any pointers for me sir yeah well don't do what i do which is work really hard on it and build it up to actually quite a big thing and then stopped doing it completely for no reason why did you stop I don't know lock I kept up a bit after lockdown I did it in lockdown and it was a godsend in lockdown Twitch I watched yours I watched the stream yeah it was fun and it was big and it was really great just for anyone listening by the way because we have a different demographic of age groups on this bad boy Twitch streaming is basically it's all Pete Wicks as ancient fans it is it literally everyone who watched Pete on Strictly this is for you anyone who watched it's all the women it's all the women in your 40s it's his for you all your penimeripause what is it called the perimenopause I don't even deign to know I'm freaking from a hands out not a clue you don't even deign to know you don't even deign to know what's that is that a phrase no is that a thing no we do this a lot I love that though I don't even deign to know I said something about perimenstrual phase once and is that good perimenstrual is that right perimen what's it called it sounds like a chocolate perimenopause Perimenopause.

19:40Perimenopause. Sure. No, don't say sure. This is like the trainers all over again. Anyway, explain it to Pete's ancient friends. Anyone who's listening to this and doesn't know what Twitch streaming is, it's basically a live stream where you can watch whoever you want to watch. They're gaming, they're talking about anything they want. They can be watching Love Island, for example, and commentating on a TV show. Yeah, that's going to be a massive thing now, people watching Love Island. Yeah, loads of people are doing it. They're watching Love Island and commentating on it, which they're basically kind of doing after some, but just on their own in their living rooms with a camera.

20:12Not on a dying platform. No. You said it, Ian. But, but, well, actually, Love Island's fucking doing even better. I do want to get onto that, but that's what it is. And Ian. Do you know what my friend, comedian Alfie Brown described it as, which I really love, Twitch, long form social media. What it is. Because you're. It's YouTube Live, really, isn't it? Yeah. You're, yeah. I think is YouTube Live not a. It is actually a thing. It's basically, for the people who are listening to this, they'll know what that is. It's YouTube, but it's live. Tally's gone, Twitch is gone.

20:51Can I say I love YouTube as well? Well done, YouTube. They've done good, haven't they? Good kids. They've done great stuff. They've done good kids, actually. They've done great shit. However, Ian, back to Twitch. Ian started a really, really successful Twitch account during COVID. Yes. So why have you bounced from that then, mate? Because that's obviously where it's all going. Yeah, I know. It's kind of annoying. It is kind of annoying that I stopped doing it. And for no other reason, and I genuinely really, really enjoyed it. And especially in lockdown, it gave me a lovely structure to my week and stuff.

21:21And I still play FIFA lots. My team's insane. I'm still playing it now, even though. Everyone, because it's like the end of FIFA now. I don't know if you've played much FIFA, but now it's like the end of the game. So they just give you loads of cool packs and loads of all the players. It's amazing. I would love to play you FIFA I think I'd fuck you up I'm just putting it out there I'm just saying No In front of an audience Do you play weekend league? Yeah I'd say so Once every two weeks maybe It's between that and a Yeah but how many wins Do you get in a weekend league? You are? How many wins do you get On weekend league?

21:52Okay I'm going to be honest with you I just play with my friends Like No then you're Mate you've not got You've hope in hell I think I'd put money On the fact I'd be I mean This feels like extra I would How much do you want to put on? 200 quid 200 200 quid 250 quid to charity of our choice deal alright oh my god are you are you PC were you PlayStation PC PlayStation same cool alright done 250 quid write it down charity of our choice there we go nervous now that's quite big for me we could do it we are going to do it we're just shaking hands yeah fuck I miss it now man like I don't I want to start Twitch streaming I want to start gaming online yeah I'm a bit nervous because I just don't know if it's my audience would watch it.

22:36I don't know. No, you've got it. So the thing with Twitch is, I think it's like everything. This is why a lot of people who are in TV try to go online. I think it's changed a bit now because people know it's difficult, but especially the people that make the, you'll know. A lot of people from television tried to go online because they thought it was basically a home run. It's fucking no work. I'm better than these people that are online. So much work. And I can do like one or two videos and they'll be brilliant and I'll then be YouTube famous and they do one or two videos and it doesn't happen and then they sack it off because you've got to have consistency.

23:10And the way I describe it to people that work in telly, it's like you've got to have a video at the same time every week. And they're like, what do you mean? And I was like, well, that's like if you had a TV show and it was on Channel 4 at nine o 'clock on a Thursday and then it was on five o 'clock BBC Two on a Monday. No one would fucking keep up with that. So you've got to keep, so with the Twitch, that is the mad thing about it is you do sort of go, and it's great about it, you're just level with everyone else that creates content. You obviously get a bit of a bump, but it's not massive. What kind of age range is it?

23:40Twitch is male skewing, definitely. I don't know what it is now, but male skewed in, it'll be that 16 to 34, that'll be the main. Perfect demographic, lovely, I'm diving in, Ian. Oh, on that segue, diving in, race against the tide. Nearly worked. Really trying to work on my segues. I watched the trailer for this. this morning. Yeah, it's cool, man. It's my kind of vibe. Dude, I'm not saying this. If we ever do a celebrity version, you would be so high up my list. Mate, I literally was away. I just told you, I was in Marbella two days ago. I made a sandcastle where I was a, I had a big ass. Actually, I don't know if I can say, I was like a sphinx with an ass.

24:25I'll show you. I don't know if you can say. I don't know. I've got a big ass. Of all the things you've said today, You drew the line that I have a big ass. I'll show you when we come off air. It took an hour and a half to make. It's fucking close. Yeah, you would be so good. I love a sandcastle. But it reminds me, it's the kind of viewing that I feel like you get the same view as like, is it cake? Yeah. That kind of viewer. It's that family. So it's Race Against Time. For those that don't know, it's on BBC. All the episodes are on iPlayer right now. and it's seven sand sculpting experts, professional sand sculptors and they're sort of like newbie sidekicks and they've got six hours to build a sand sculpture and the reason it's called Race Against the Tide is because they've got six hours because that's how long it takes the tide to come in when the tide comes in.

25:17So clever. It washes it all away. It's amazing. It's really, really fun and it's great like family. You're totally right. It's in that sort of family viewing area of like, is it cake? You kind of go like, you're like, I don't know. It's kind of a weird idea. It's nuts. You find yourself hooked, though, with that kind of stuff. I would absolutely be watching that. That's the kind of show that I love. And also, even with Cake and that, because people sort of weirdly know that there's a career in baking now. But with these sand sculptors, none of them have done that. None of them have been doing this for years.

25:52Interesting characters as well. Yeah, they've not done it because it's like fame and fortune, isn't it? There's not that much money in sand sculpting, believe it or not Also, you've given it quite a nice name there I was going to call it like sandcastling Sandcastling There's not much money in sandcastling Yeah, I don't know, it's funny that people always call them sandcastles Because I was the exact same, sandcastles But like, they're not necessarily I saw a mermaid tail Someone made a phenomenal mermaid tail But isn't it funny, someone would see a mermaid tail and go Oh, that's a nice sandcastle But people would do that It's not though, it's a mermaid's tail And is that the kind of stuff that you love hosting?

26:26Do you like that kind of show? I've never done something. I've never really hosted something. I've never hosted like a, well, apart from Kids TV, like years ago, I've not done like a sort of family friendly, because I've got two kids, but I've got like a five-year-old and I've never done anything that they've been able to watch ever. And now are they like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I can't believe it. That's so cool. So it's really cool. So yeah, I really enjoyed it. What was amazing about it is like going to like, just going to St. Andrews for like a week and it's filmed up in Scotland. It's BBC Scotland.

26:55I used to do loads of work at BBC Scotland on Kids TV so I said I know all that crew That's so nice Going back and hanging out with everyone Yeah it was really nice I hope they do it again Mate if they do a celeb one genuinely I would be fucking in You are not joking Honestly I am not just saying this I thought you and GK Barry would be my Oh class Be so good on it Mate honestly I'll say guarantee it's a yes for me For sure Come on BBC Lock it in

27:26Cha-ching! That's the sound of Lowe's Labor Day Savings. Get up to 45 % off select major appliances and save up to an additional$100 on select laundry pairs. Plus, get three bags of Miracle-Gro.75 cubic foot garden soil for just$10. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9. While supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. The soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think.

28:05We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise.

28:34You've actually made the jump over to the States quite nicely. Yes. Actually as well. I like how I've done that. Yeah. You've like, what did you say over the past year and a half, two years? Yeah. About, I think my first tour in America was like two years ago. and that's and it was like mental when I like um like got I think I went to get a coffee at the at the airport and the person serving coffee was like are you the Love Island guy and I was like this is mental yeah I fucking am and I was like fuck yeah yeah yeah I'll say anything you want baby you I see because obviously the US version of Love Island is fucking huge getting that gig it's insane it's insane Ian getting that gig over there isn't a given because the X Factor went over there and they didn't take Dermot no He didn't go.

29:20Yeah. And so... A lot of people are catching strays today, aren't they? No. So many people are getting... You don't even know you're doing it. You have absolutely fucking destroyed about nine people today. Romesh Ranganathan mugged off. I've got a meeting with the boss of this. Derek O 'Leary mugged right off. Has anyone that works on television ever fucked off? Oh God Jesus Christ Well done on your success in America And because Dermot didn't do it Thanks Sam I'm just saying Sam I'm just saying The truth is Is I've gone so red I can feel how hot I am It's such a specific That's like No one mentioned Dermot No one No it's because X Factor's the perfect example That's like Well done on doing soccer aid Sam Because Jamie Lang's never been asked Oh God Fucking hell I'm sweating so much I'm dripping with sweat pepper I know Fuck My point My example No I know what you mean I know what you mean Everyone knows what you mean It was just so ridiculous Went over there And then And then Love Island Going over there Yeah You could easily have An American voice there They dead Did they They dead at the start Yeah for the first few series They dead And it was on NBC Drinking this water Like it's fucking I know like it's alcoholic I'm just necking it it was on NBC for a bit Love Island but I think NBC which is like the I apologise to Sam but it's like the BBC in America and I think it was like pre-watershed I think they had to like wear sarongs and stuff because they weren't allowed like people in full swimsuits it was that pre-watershed sort of vibes and then they decided when Peacock got it they went we want to go full UK so that's when they got like me in to do it about series four or something and were you like okay because even then it wasn't that big well it wasn't that big no no it wasn't that big and then also don't forget in america as well and this is what i genuinely thought was gonna happen they were gonna do like two or three weeks then like everyone like in arkansas would be like what the what is this guy saying and i thought they were just gonna sack because in america they wouldn't they would just change the voiceover like mid-series it wouldn't really bother them there's people i know friends that of like been on sitcom options for like two years not allowed to work on anything else and then like the sitcom's done like four episodes and they've canned it so i just assumed i was going to get chucked off but i didn't and people really liked it and now you're a staple over there as well because like that it's it's your iconic fucking welcome to love island yeah like is now global that's fucking mad yeah it's cool it is cool and it's like i don't you'll you'll know the same like you and Pete doing this like, and it's hard to say, especially as like someone, like a millennial man, it's quite hard to big yourself up, but like it feels really good being good at something.

32:20Yeah. Like it's like. We're still looking for that, me and Pete. Apparently interviewing isn't, isn't my forte, but here we are. No, it's good. As the interviewee, I'm having a great time. It's just everyone else that's got to watch. Everyone else has got to watch their back.

32:38yeah but it just feels really nice to be like i'm like one of it's like a very niche thing to be one of the best at but i'm one of the best people that doing voiceovers on reality tv shows so it's cool well now do you mean i've been doing stand-up for 15 16 years i'm i'm a i'm good at stand-up comedy but i'll never be like the best stand-up comic of my generation or anything which is fine i'll still be a good one but i feel like i might be one of the best voiceovers of my generation You've got the best voiceover man of a generation Well I mean you've now said that I just told you that Yeah but I feel like I agree with that Oh okay that's very sweet of you But I hope that doesn't come across as like mad I don't mean that as like mad arrogant I think it's just common sense You can give yourself that mate it's fine Okay I feel uncomfortable List all the ones you don't like Oh yeah I'm like Marcus Bentley the prick Yeah fuck it I'll tell you what Rob Beckett is fucking god I might as well just find go full two-footed now um but mate I mean that that whole Love Island journey for you has been like no one can imagine anyone else doing it now it's also really funny because you're talking about the to go full circle on the whole tv thing when I was a comedian back in the day it was really funny when you did stand up you just did stand up and you just did comedy things and if you did anything else it was kind of like you were not a proper comedian and it was kind of detrimental that's why the snobby yeah snobby now you'd call it snobby back then it was just seen as sensible but that's like we always that's like you say when you go to soccer and you talk to all these old school comedians and they're like talking about like all these brands and all that and you're like oh did you just turn that down and they're like no there's no one asked us back then no one did it yeah so um but the point i'm trying to make is when i first got I was like, oh, the conversation I had with like my agent and stuff would have been like, you can do this show and it might be a bit more money and stuff, but you not now be able to do like panel shows and like be interviewed in the Guardian and do like latitude.

34:43Eight out of ten cats. Yeah, you'll not be in those circles anymore because you'll be that. And then me doing that voiceover and like Joel going on the jungle, like that seems nuts that he wouldn't do that. But I think. I had that conversation with Joel where he was like, it was a huge, huge decision for me. Which is mad. Because you do like Edinburgh and stuff like that. And he's like, we're going in that direction. And then it's such an about turn, especially being a TV presenter as well. Because then obviously he did like Unpacked years ago and then K.O. doing that. And it's a completely different skewed thing.

35:13But I think, look how successful you both have been. And I think it's a trailblazer though. But now I think you've got to do it all. Yeah, now I think there's, I don't think, as long as you're funny, it doesn't really matter. But like, you know, Love Island's my jam. Obviously I did after some for a long time. Yeah. I adore it. I know you adore it as well. I know you don't just do it for a job. I know you actually absolutely love it as well. I really love it. Yeah. Because we've had conversations about it before. Yeah, it's great. It's really good. Who was your favourite ever Islander? That's such a good question.

35:38I think my favourite ever Islander in terms of like a story - To narrate on. Huh? To narrate on. Oh, to narrate on. That's a really good question. Oh, Luca Besh. The man sells fish. Do you remember him? Obviously. like I fucking got to do fish puns for eight weeks I remember it and then people would some people they got and this always happens is people really liked it then they got fed up by about week four and then they mess with me like annoyed and I'm like I love that you hate it we're now going to carry on and then it got funny again and then are you right you're right sorry man all my own yeah me with a guy called Mark who you I don't know if you run into the jungle and stuff older Scottish guy he does all that in Dex I know exactly who he is oh he's a lovely man he's a really lovely man yeah He came up with the format of Love Island and of I'm a Celeb.

36:24Ching, ching. Fucking hell. Wow. He doesn't need to start to it. I'll tell you that much for sure. Fuck. I tell you what, he's... Some money in TV. He was in the incline, let me tell you that. No, but I write it with him. Oh, and then my favourite islander in terms of like having an arc that I don't think you couldn't... A sitcom writer couldn't get as good would be Camilla, if you remember Camilla. Camilla Thurlow? Camilla Thurlow. Really? Yeah. She was brilliant Scottish girl Because she sort of came in She was really sweet And innocent She couldn't find anyone And then Jamie came along And then they met And then they had This beautiful thing Oh mate Mine was Ekansu and Davide Oh my god They were great They were fucking brilliant I think Ekansu and Davide Might be my favourite UK series Yeah man They were so Fucking Do you remember when he came in And he was like You're a liar You're an actress You're a liar You're an actress Get the fuck out Yeah And I to this day And I know I still see him very occasionally because he's up in Scotland, but when Ekansu crawled on the floor with Jay.

37:26Yeah. Jay, Jay, here's my take. Hottest contestant ever on Love Island. Really? Jay. That's my contention. It's a big shout there. We've had a lot, to be fair. There's been some babes. Who would you say is the biggest babe ever? All time. Boy or girl? I don't think, either. Okay. I would say, Davide was a good looking dude. Like, he had the, I feel like he was like, too good looking. Do you know that thing though? Yeah, no, I hear you. I hear you. And girl, I've got a girlfriend, shouldn't really say, you know, so it's kind of. You have a girlfriend, you shouldn't say, as in that you've got a girlfriend or that you're the best looking girl.

38:03I'm going to try and save that, save myself on that one, I think. Just pick a boy. You could have just picked a boy. Davide. There you go. Well done. We can cut that. We can make that make sense. That was nice and smooth. That was good. Thank you very much. I appreciate that. What girl, though? I do have one in mind. that's worse that's worse we'll cut it we'll bleep it bleep it say it just like I know my favourite one would probably my favourite one you've made this way more of a thing would probably be I thought you could have just said I know I thought you could have just said a girl's name four minutes ago and this wouldn't have been that big a deal okay I'm going to say someone oh god drum roll we've got to bleep out we've got to bleep out bleep out really yeah that's great for the clip Ian, why have you just fucking walked out?

38:52You've got to run out in your shoes as well. That's so good. Bring yourself back. That's not all. Mate, what do you mean? Because you should have picked an OG person. I have never in my life been so hot and so red and so flustered. I don't know whether this is a good or a bad problem. I think it's a good time to say that Race Against the Time is available right now. On all episodes, BBC iPlayer. It's a fantastic family viewing. God damn it. And Roast the Internet will be very soon on Comedy Central. Oh, we've absolutely loved having you here. Thank you so much. Is that the end now? No, it's not actually the end.

39:32I just, if you wanted to end it, I could have ended it. Wait, sorry, I'm just doing this. Thank you for giving me some time there. I appreciate that. Do you know what? We actually do have one more question about Love Island quickly. Yeah. The girls in the studio, they're avid Love Island viewers. I actually haven't watched this series nearly as much as I've watched the others. for no other reason just the fact that I just haven't had the time but you know I normally love it you're too busy watching previous seasons but but alone with the baby oil from from what I can gather there are rumours that this year there are rumours sniffing the old pillow the worst thing is I'm looking at Biv like she can do anything Biv help there are rumours that the studio are saying that Julia and Lorenzo have already broken up.

40:21Now, look, I know you won't know the ins and outs, but... How dare you? What does Julia message you go off by the way? Yeah, I text them every day. No, you fucking don't. Yes, I fucking do, actually. Have they broken up? Yeah.

40:35I don't know, do I? You can't. You said there was so much gusto. I was like, oh my God. I've not, I don't like, so I don't really follow their lives after the show. Yeah. I mean, I didn't 10 years ago when I was 27, and I certainly don't know that I'm 37. But I think it would be weird. But I had seen the one clip, and I can't remember if it was on like This Morning or something. This is Good Morning. Really funny clip. Is it the one when, so they're sort of going, are you boyfriend and girlfriend? And then Julia's going, boyfriend, girlfriend? He's liking other girls' photos on Instagram. It's like, it's brilliant.

41:11What I love about those two is, I think they probably do fancy each other in like a young person way. They know they're not going to be together. Maybe, maybe not, but they're having to laugh with it. At least they're not like, I really like how they've done it. So Ian, I think I'm quite similar. I love a Love Islander who... I love a Love Islander. I know you do. That's what I was going to say. I love a Love Islander. Sam loves a Love Islander. There you go. That's the clip. I love a Love Islander who comes out and understands, Ian, that it's like, it can also be a game. Yeah. Like I like, so for example, when Ekansu came out and you're like, you're a liar, you're an actress.

41:52No one really cared whether that was true or false. It was just, you were entertaining for me and I found that good TV. And that's what I care about. I don't give a shit whether you stayed together. It doesn't bother me at all. No, it's like, I always think that the people that, there's people in that show that are so obsessed with like people who are like, are you being real? oh i don't care just be entertaining be good just have a laugh you're 23 you're not gonna you're not looking for a husband you like have a laugh although are they on there for love are they in there to get famous or like who cares the one thing i will say i've done this done this show for over 10 years it doesn't matter if you're there to try and get rich and famous or to find a partner if you spend eight weeks where you talk about nothing but relationships and share beds of people you're going to catch feelings yeah and if someone sacks you off it still feels shit and makes good television so that will always happen so everyone needs to just chill the fuck out i completely and just have a nice have a nice time no one also there you're early 20s no one fucking knows whether you're gonna fall in people always say to me oh they don't really stay together i went oh yeah that's so go to your university how many of your mates that were together are still together good none none such a good point because that's what 20s are for yeah Do you, I, I sometimes, I, Love Island's really good at this actually, Ian.

43:10And the casting team are fucking phenomenal. I know some of them. Like nowadays, everyone's trying to be very like PC, very PG. Sorry. Like they're trying to be what people, what they think that people want them to be. Right. Yeah. And Love Island is very good at not actually casting those kind of people. But a lot of TV shows, like reality shows are sort of falling foul to that kind of thing. it must be like kind of hard I think because they're coming in with so many like they're like oh my life could change like I want to be seen as this person I want to be seen I want to be the new Molly Mae or the new Molly Higgins or whoever the new this or the new that and it's like if you're I find that now if you're the most authentically yourself whether you are playing a game or you're not it doesn't matter as long as you're having fun with it I think that's one thing I've noticed is I'd love to do an actual take on this but I generally find that the the most disliked person in the first week will always make the final.

44:08So true. So true. I think every series, the most disliked person in the first week has made the final. You want to have a curve. You want to have a, of course you want to have a storyline. You want something to happen. You help, but you help formulate that storyline. Yeah, no, totally. And I love doing that. And also I always like to go against it. I've sort of, I've always been like, if the audience don't like that person, well, I think they're the best there. Yeah. I've always thought that. But the other thing I'd say is, I think I find really interesting. and Love Island's finally finding a way around it in reality TV is.

44:38There's a really difficult thing when you make a show like that for audiences where audiences trip themselves up, where they want drama and they want characters, but the minute those, you want flawed people. Like, so I come from a writing background and if you write a sitcom, every character's got a fatal flaw, right? And it's that thing that trips them up. And do you know what I mean? So like David Brent, it wants to be liked and it's socially awkward. And every time he does it, he fucks up. And if David Brent just became self-aware, the show finishes. Yeah. It ends. So he has to have that fatal flaw.

45:16But what we do with reality TV is people have that fatal flaw, which makes them lovable. And then they actually do the fatal flaw and everyone goes, oh, what? Like when the girls are bitching about another girl and they're like, oh, you've job shamed her or you've whatever. Yeah, because that's what you fucking do. Yeah, it's what human beings do when they're in private. That's what we do in private. We're not perfect people. Yeah. And I'm not saying that those things are correct, but I'm like, that's what you want. It's human nature. And it's how you grow from it. Yeah, exactly, mate. And how are we ever, Ian, how are we ever going to learn if you can't make mistakes?

45:47We live in this world. I really worry. And obviously it's become, I don't think this podcast may be the way to have the conversation. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're a heavy hitting fucking, we know what we're doing. There's been a lot of stuff recently where people have made mistakes and they've been like absolutely two footed by the media and online and it's ended terribly and i feel like in the world at the minute there is no space to make people to make mistakes and grow from them and it's and that's all and i'm not and that's what do you mean and people might come out to me and then be like how dare you defend someone i'm not defending anyone for saying it happens i'm just saying they do it they should be chastised for it and then grow and then be allowed to yeah do you know what so uh to add to that point actually mate and then then we will move on but i i i think that like that's why we look up to our parents and our elders right because they have had the grace of being able to make mistakes as they've grown older that's why they're wiser so everyone says the older you are the wiser you get because obviously you've gone through life you've made mistakes you've fumbled and you've learned from it right why do your parents get you to the airport so early when you're like we don't need to because they've missed a flight exactly sir but but what happens now when the generation below aren't allowed to make any mistakes they can't impart any wisdom any life advice whatsoever because because they're all robotically doing what they think they should be doing their entire life.

47:01And then that void is now filled. Like I said, this is why I love doing this on Roast Internet. That void is then filled by these young CEOs. Vapid people with no personality. I'm 21 and I get up at four in the morning and scrape my tongue and sleep with my mouth taped and all that. I've got a tongue scraper. Yeah, but you're an old bastard now. I'm 34. You're old, man. Get into it. Do you know what I mean? You tongue scrape because you've gone through weeks of like not looking after yourself and you've seen what that looks like. And now you're like, I'm going to fucking keep on top of it. Mate, I knew I was going to catch us straight at some point.

47:42I've given it out to people. I've taken it right there. I feel like we just became a bit of a philosophical podcast. I quite like that. It was nice. It's just something I always find, because I always find, I'd love a clip to reach all the, everyone that's ever been on Love Island of me just being like, you just do what you've got to do. And as long as like the people around you know that you're a good person, then just do stuff that's good to tell you. Fuck everyone else. We love good telly. Even though it's dying, we adore it. We haven't got a long left. Right, the podcast is over. Thank you so much for listening.

48:16Fuck Pete Wicks. Fuck Dermot. Fuck Jamie Lang. Fuck Robert Strangeneven. Fuck television, actually, while we're at it. oh my god Ian we do actually have to end it I really really really appreciate your time mate this has been one of the funniest episodes I think I've ever had so I massively massively appreciate it thanks for have you enjoyed yourself I beg thank you to Ian I beg fuck you to Pete oh god you can catch all episodes of Race Against the Tide right now on iPlayer series 2 of Roast the internet kicks off on the 7th of September on Comedy Central UK both shows I genuinely, and I mean this, I will be watching because I adore them.

49:00This has been a Staying Relevant production.

49:10Waiting for your sign? Here it is. Shop Labor Day appliance deals at Lowe's before they're gone. Get up to 45 % off select major appliances. Plus, get free delivery, haul away, installation and parts, and a two-year Lowe's protection plan on purchases of$999 or more. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 916, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See lowes.com for more details. Here's a tip for you. There's a podcast out there with fans waiting to be your next customer. They tune in every week. They trust the host. And that host wants to talk about brands like yours in their own words to their audience.

49:54The problem is you just haven't been introduced yet. We're Acast, where that introduction happens. As the world's largest podcast marketplace, we let you browse shows, see who's listening, and book host-read sponsorships or run your own ads all from one platform. Transparent pricing, real-time data, complete control. Start advertising on podcasts by visiting acast.com slash advertise.

50:22Hello, Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. and possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.