202: Pete’s Latest Headlines and Sam’s Boss Era

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0:32Welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two best friends. We are on day 28 of being together almost every single day. Me, Sam Thompson and Peter James Jonathan Joseph Ricks.

0:49Sound of defeat. That's what you heard just there. This is the main episode, which means it comes out audibly on Monday. and then you will be able to watch this on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel from 5pm on Wednesday and then we'll be doing a bonus episode which comes out Thursday audibly which you can watch on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel from 5pm on Sunday which means you can catch us on a Catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and a Sunday Wonderful stuff They'll be swearing if you don't like it go f*** yourself Make sure you rate, review, follow do all of that crap you know the score by now As Sam mentioned we are on day 4 ,055 ,000 of working together and it's going smoothly.

1:27It's not actually, because Pete, at the very end of yesterday, we were on a shoot and I went, bye Pete. And he didn't even look at me. He was like hunched over a table. I went, bye, I'll see you tomorrow. I went, can I have a cuddle? He actually used the word cuddle. And he literally looked and went, we spent 27 days together. We're seeing each other tomorrow. Do you need a fucking cuddle? Yes, yes I did. So, and we are back again together today as it is, you know, pod day. But that's not the end of it because tomorrow we're together. Friday we're together. Sunday we're together. Monday we're together.

2:09Tuesday, then Wednesday. Thursday and Friday. So it's a lot. But part of the reason that we're going to be together on Monday next week is because we are back hosting the Pride of Britain red carpet. We are indeed. We are joined by a plethora of people on the red carpet hosting this year, one of which we're very excited about because Flory is going to be there. Flory is hosting her own little corner. Yes, and she is going to put us to shame because she's better than us. She actually hosted part of this podcast. Flory is family for staying relevant. She won Child of Courage at the Pride of Britain a few years ago, which is where we first met her.

2:53And her and her family, who we absolutely adore, we have kind of done loads of bits with her over the past couple of years. They've got an incredible charity called Be More Fab. Their Instagram is at bemorefab underscore. So please go and take a look at that if you don't know who Flory is, because she's just a little ray of sunshine. Genuine is. She's meant to be a superstar. She literally is, and she genuinely puts us to shame. Every time she gets on camera, everything just lights up. she's absolutely brilliant yeah yeah so she's going to teach us finally in our you know third year of doing the red carpet how to actually do it i imagine um so that's going to be exciting but yeah there is just more days working with sam we went together yesterday on the most fun shoot that we've done in a very very long time yeah it was incredibly fun for one of us no come on you had a great time i i had a time no you had a really really really good time and to be fair i was actually telling Pippa like we spent our lunch breaks together we like we have a really really like we're together joint at the hip throughout the day as well like you can't get away from me yeah when you say we sort of spend our lunch breaks when lunch comes I go outside to smoke and Sam brings his lunch to wherever I am yeah that's what you happened there was around 40 50 people on set yesterday could have sat with any of them yeah but nope hadn't had quite enough peak time in the past month.

4:15And he's on the phone and he's like walking in laps around. Pacing the car park on phones. Sam's going. Yeah, I've literally sat next to Ted. We were with TV Ted yesterday actually as well. Yes, for anyone that's been asking, TV Ted is not dead. He's not dead. He's still kicking about. He's just freelance and expensive. So I was with TV Ted yesterday, but I'll sure be off the phone soon. I'll sure be off the phone soon. After 10 minutes, I went, he's still on the phone. I feel like we should, we go over and say hello. I spent all day with him. Awkwardly, there was no one on the other end. I just didn't want to speak to you.

4:50I wouldn't put it past you. No, I didn't do that. I had shit going on. But yeah, it is lunch breaks, breakfasts, fucking dinners at the minute. We're just there nonstop, 24-7, like Siamese twins. Mate, do you know what's funny? I feel more energised now than I feel like I've been energised for like the past two years. Do you know what I think that's down to? and I proximity no it's because you're taking all of my energy like a leech it's literally because you're draining the soul belief and hope from my body and just just energizing it's getting more youthful yeah it's incredible you know he's in a really cheery mood and I I am I'm surviving I came out we had to wear for this for this thing we had to wear these really really tight sort of like morph suit kind of things spandex yeah we're wearing spandex and I thought it would be quite funny to put a banana in my spandex and Pete didn't like that.

5:49Well, no, it's not that I didn't like that. What I didn't like was that obviously we were doing a job. We had spandex and we've worked with this brand quite a lot and they're great for the last couple of years and we do lots of fun, silly bits and bobs with them. But they are aware of our body shapes in terms of the fact that when we do wear spandex, you know I need to have shorts covering Sam decides he doesn't like the shorts but also the problem with if he just wears spandex is that he's got an inverted penis so he you say it with so much conviction that genuinely people are going to be listening go yeah yeah yeah no yeah I know that one so he put a banana and then proceeded to not tell the client and just sit down and have a chat with them to the point where one of them threw him a pillow because they thought it was his actual penis just to cover it.

6:44He then took the banana out once we'd all had the fun and games and put it back in the fruit bowl. No. Do you know what? One of the guys we work with who's also on camera with us, he looked down at me and he goes, is that your piece? And I went, it is indeed, sir. It is indeed. And the client literally were looking, they were like trying to look everywhere away and they actually genuinely thought it was actually, and then I was like, oh no, maybe I've gone too far but they like I think they laughed yeah well listen it was you know everyone's one of their five a day wasn't it and oh then we did stand-up routines you loved it when we did stand-up routines well how much can you tell it's it do you know what it's it's one of them things you know I like to put effort into into these things we were told we had to do stand-up routines so you know I wrote mine down I wrote a full stand-up routine you know it had a theme It had a narrative and what I believe was quite funny.

7:39Sam decided to wing it and had the entire room in fits of laughter just by saying, milk, eh?

7:53I'd wrote a succinct fucking full stand-up routine. Sam went, milk. he came into the dressing room really proud of himself and he was like he had a full a4 page of paper that i don't even know when you had found time to do it because you've been on the phone all lunch break i did it whilst being on the phone he's come in and he's literally got like he's not lying he's got like a location a story a reason for the comedy like he's like ah you know so crime was i'd even put in pauses for my comedic timing but at one point at one point he goes he's like so I'm going to be talking about crime and I just shouted for the back talk about assault I got heckled by Sam and then you had to tell the joke again so and it's always funny it's always funny the second time round isn't it where Sam went up and went my mum's got loads of milk in her fridge milk eh that was that was literally it but yeah it's been a long month it's been a great month man and we're obviously filming the show together as well yeah it's just good fun Well, it's, I mean, it's happening.

9:03It's happening. I think that would be the best way to describe it. But outside of the show and doing all those sort of other bits, we are back in the office today. And you're really in your kind of boss era. I am. I feel like Pete's actually getting to know Liv, who works with me now, actually. He's been working with me for about a month and a half. She's been to a couple of shoots now. Pete calls her the entourage. Well, yeah, I mean, she sort of comes with you everywhere just to ensure that you're sort of there, I think. She's effectively less of kind of like a PA and more like a sort of a carer, I would describe.

9:37She sat in the car yesterday and went, Pete's a lovely guy. Well, that's very nice. Thank you. I think you're a lovely lady. Thank you so much, Lib. I doubt why you'll get to know him in a bit. I do want to point out, you know, obviously she just doesn't work for Sam Relevance. She works directly for you. We've all heard, you know, the reasons why we had to bring in HR to stay relevant. Yesterday I did witness a burp and blow to live.

10:02Yeah, so, I mean, listen, you have a certain way about you as a boss, which is, you know, good for some. So I understand you've now got drawers under your desk. I didn't even know this. When did we get drawers, Pippa? Well, as far as I'm aware, it was under the... You were slightly upset about the fact that I had drawers and they went through mine. Well, I just feel like I don't have any office material. Yeah, we did a video where we went through Pete's drawers at his desk and then Sam doesn't have any drawers. So some have been ordered and now there are drawers. So far, it's only my belongings in said drawers.

10:40Okay, cool. So we actually have them under the desk now. I'd like a stapler. I'd like some Blu-Tac because we always need Blu-Tac. When have you needed Blu-Tac in the three years we've had the office? Just in case, every office needs Blu-Tac, sellotape. Just stick on the, what's it called, the hairpiece? Just to stick on the hairpiece. And, oh, little update on that. Might be having a transplant, which is going to be really fun in December. Yeah. And guess who's coming with me? It's not me. It is, Pete. No. Come on. We made a pact. No, we didn't. Yes, we did. We didn't. Right, so we can't give too much away.

11:16We're on this show. me and Pete did something to do with hair transplants and I agreed on the spot. You haven't given anything away there. I agreed on the spot. That's literally what we did. I agreed on the spot that I'm going to plug and play. Well, I'll be honest with you, mate. You didn't agree on the spot you've been talking about for three years. Yeah, but now we're actually doing it. Yeah, because now that they've put you in and then what you did was you asked the surgeon if you can have it for free. So, made the most of it. I'm going to give too much away here but whatever fine you've already done it we're just going to crack you know the snowballs rolling you can't stop us now ain't no stopping us now yeah it's a pure avalanche can't celebrate so basically oh I forgot what I was going to say oh yeah basically when we went to this hair place the clinician got a doctor this doctor the doctor got a camera out a magnified zoomed camera that goes that plays onto a monitor and um and so he goes right sam what we're gonna do is we're gonna have a look at your head and have a look at like your slightly bald patch you're very no no no no let's just start this from the beginning we went in we saw this guy and he specializes in hair transplants and he said so that's why are you here and i went and sam bent it down like that to show me and he went oh i see that's literally what he wasn't the slight ball but he went yeah yeah i see he saw he saw right and then he went look we'll get the camera on that and so he gets his camera and starts like i start looking at the at the screen and he looks at the back first uh like the what would be the donor area which is like the thick part and there's like i've got hair like sprouting out loads of like loads of hairs you can see every single tiny hair more hair there more hair there and then and then he goes all right we're gonna go onto the uh onto the spot up top barren it was a barren wasteland it was like it was like pluto the planet it was just completely barren and I thought it was like on my arm I thought it was on his cheek I was like that can't be my head there was nothing there I was like there's not one he'd just shown me millions of hair follicles and they went right we're gonna go to the top of the head now there was nothing I must honestly be fully bald at the top of my head so I then took the camera I'd just like to point out at this point I knew what was gonna happen and I didn't want it to happen because I felt like he felt bad enough as it was.

13:39I've never looked. I've never seen the top of my head like that. And I went, well, move it around. Doc, he goes, I am, mate. And there's just dead little slices of hair just everywhere and just nothing. So I go, right, Doc, give me the fucking camera. So I take the camera and I go, let's have a look at Pete. And so I put the camera up against Pete's scalp. Mate, you can't see any skin. And I'm literally like there rifling through his hair. Basically, what he said to my, at the back of my head, he goes, oh, you've got a couple of families there and families are basically when like five shoots of hair come out of one sort of like follicle.

14:13He goes, you've got a couple of families there. Go to Pete. A little unit. Pete's got fucking cousins. Cousins and aunties coming out of this fucking thing. He's got seven, eight, nine pieces of hair coming out of one follicle. You can't see the skin. So I then go, all right, fuck it. That's the donor area. Let's go up to the, he must have a ball patch up top. So I like maneuver up and he goes, you're not going to like what you see, Sam. And I go, Pete, I will fucking find a ball patch. The last thing I do. So they go up to where the crown is, right? There's even more. There's even more hair. He's got nothing.

14:45It's absolutely mental. Because you look at the front of his hair, he's got a weirdo's peak and it looks like he's going bald. That's just his genetics. He's had that. It's weirdo's peak. Pete showed me a photo. This is mental. He showed me a photo of him when he was 16 years old and he's got the exact same weirdo's peak at 16. It's fucking nuts. And I've said to the dog, well, presumably, listen, and I'm, you know, hurtling towards 40. Surely, you know, mum will go. And the expert doctor, he went, no, yours will stay forever. Yeah, yours will stay forever. So, but Sam needed to feel better about himself.

15:21So then what he did was took the camera to find my greys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, at least let's find a grey then. Yeah. We haven't found a grey. So then found the streak of grey through the front there and went, yeah, but they're grey. But they are there. You just can't win that battle. I mean, it's such an unwinnable fight. And then I told Pete I was going to steal his hair. Well, yeah, then the question came was, can you take some of Pete's hair and put it on mine? Genuine question. Yeah. The answer is no. Which obviously, you know, you can't. But you've got a limited source, so you have to be careful where we go with it.

15:56Four and a half thousand follicles of movement Sam has at the back of his hair to replace the 40-odd thousand at the top. So we need to be careful how we do it. We're going to have to layer it pretty intelligently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, you know, we're making the best of a bad situation, I think is effectively what the doctor said. But yeah. Watch the show when it comes out. There's a lot more to see. And if you don't want to, just listen to the pod. Back to you being a boss after that slight diversion. Yeah, we had a real deviation there, didn't we? Back to your drawers. Yeah. The ones under your desk, not in, you know, pants.

16:33Yep, no thong on today. What will you be fitting them with? Do you know, just utensils, Pete. Utensils? Yeah, just a hole puncher. They're not kitchen drawers. Hole puncher for me. So stationary. Yeah, stationary. Ruler, compass maybe, protractor. You know, maybe a fax machine. In the drawer. Yeah, I think we... I feel like we're sort of like trying to move away from fax machines, but they've still got a lot of use. I think we... I mean, listen, I'm not one for technology, but I'm almost certain we moved away from fax machines about 15 years ago. Well, I think we should bring them back. Should we bring them back?

17:01maybe we'll ask that in the chat should we it reminds me of one of my favourite Only Fools and Horses episodes where he gets a fax machine and he hasn't received a fax in six months because no one else he knows has a fax machine well I'd like a fax do you know what that's what we're going to do I think we should get a fax machine for me let's do that actually yeah yeah let's get a fax machine and who are you going to fax just anyone anyone who wants it fax me over the invoices if someone needs to fax over an invoice what sort of invoices are we paying I don't know whatever we feel like it so anywhere we buy anywhere we buy I'm not sure that's how invoices work.

17:33Can we just be like... You pay them whenever you feel like. Can you fax Sam over the invoice, please? And then we all stand there and watch it come through. So, all right. So we've got drawers now and you've got lots of things, lots of stationery to kind of fit them up with. Get your protractor and compass and fax machine in there. But there's other parts of kind of being a boss in the office environment that I think you're enjoying. Do you know what's quite nice? That we've got a relatively new member of staff called Molly. And I'm still like in that phase of like just letting her know that I'm like, you know, I'm, I'm easy to talk to, I think.

18:06And sort of like, how are you? How are you feeling? Is everything okay in the office? And, and we're still having that. Have you cemented that phase with the, the staff that we currently have? I don't think so. Okay. Easy to, I'm approachable. Yeah. And so I'm like going out to her and sort of like. It's certainly not put her off watching her, watching you put the rest of the team in headlocks. And we're not there yet. She's really looking forward. It's going to be her Christmas bonus, a birth and blow. That's when you, That's when you know when you're part of the club, isn't it? I just feel, I feel like when I speak to Molly, I'm still at that stage where like, I'm just trying to let her know that I'm approachable.

18:36Yeah, I heard you this morning. Did you ever hear it? He was like getting closer and closer, like not just by her desk, like edging closer and closer. He was like, how are you? Are you okay? You know me and Pete are always here if you're ever not okay. All you have to do is speak to us. Did you have a nice evening? And she was like describing like a pretty normal evening. He was like, no way. That is lovely. That is lovely. I just feel like we're getting that. I really do feel like, you know, that's... So, all right, so there's different... Obviously, yeah, you know, Molly is fairly new. Let's take Pippa.

19:10So let's give you, like, some examples. Say you're walking to work, you're walking into the office, and you press for the lift, and sort of you and Pippa in the lift, you greet each other. How do you greet Pippa in the lift? Fat face. Yes, nice. you look like you could do with a wash. Right, okay. And then I imagine Pippa would tell me and be like, you're bald. Now, all right, well, do you know what? Let's take Pippa out of it because you describe Pippa as Hamley in the same way. So let's say Hannah. How do you greet Hannah? Hannah the Hawk. Because her second name's Hawkins. And I'd be like, dating anyone at the moment?

19:52How's dating life? Nice, nice, nice. What do you get on show over the weekend? And do we still feel it's appropriate? Yeah, yeah. I'd say it's appropriate to ask. Do you want to check that with HR? Well, we've seen her today, actually, HR, aren't we? Well, I think you are. Is it just me? I think so, yes. Shut the fuck up. No way. I've got some other things that I've got next week because we have individual needs. Oh, really? So it's week on, week off. All right, fine. Oh, God. So perhaps just broach that. Okay, so that's Hannah, who's worked with us for, what, 18 months? Over a year? Now, Molly.

20:25Yeah. You meet Molly in the lift. First thing in the morning, you're sort of there in the lift. She's a little rare sunshine, isn't she, really? She's a ray of sunshine. Yeah. She's so lovely. Always got a smile on her face. She's new. She's, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll break her in. But I'd probably be like, the door closed. And you know when you can hear the door close? And it's like, eek. And you're like, oh, God, no one's said anything yet. And so I'd probably be like, Molly. Molly, how are you? How's life? You living with your parents?

21:00You asked her that this morning. He asked her that this morning. I swear I remember her saying that she lived with her parents. She moved back with her parents. I was like, so you seen your mum recently? She went, no. I was like, you're not living with your parents? You're not living with your parents? She goes, no, I live with my partner. So how are you going to break? Because, you know. How would you break? No, sorry. This is not just a one man thing. That door opens. Molly's in the lift, right? like we love Molly by the way and so another way we're using Molly is sort of like Molly's on the lift you walk in it's just you and her

21:35what's that is that the door closing that's the door closing right morning

21:43morning you alright Pete yeah good good night what'd you get up to ah parents I was around mums yeah I just had a Jill won. Just stayed in. Just watch the movie. Watch the trailers. Good. We've got a lot to do today. So let's crack on. Yeah, but we've still got a few more floors to get through. There's quite a few floors in this building. He would. He would do this as well. It would freak me out. Sorry, just about that. It would freak me out. The silence from Pete whilst he's holding his dog Rodney. Just sitting there just going, you all right? How are you? You good? A lot of work today. Don't worry about it.

22:22he's friendly I've got a question for you though actually mate okay because you know I feel like I'm there when we hire people but I feel like you and Pippa sort of like take the lead on that and I sort of just come in at the end and just say hello just say hello never just a hello though is it well no it's just hello and a headlock I'd just like to point out before people start going why don't you let Sam get involved Sam was banned from that for doing interviews in his pants so that's that's why I did one interview in a boxes over Zoom one is enough yeah but Josh Josh it's Josh still here yeah but you

23:07I'd just like to point out that's not the reason that the rest of the ladies in the office joined but mate okay so so you're so you and Pippa you're in this job interview right and there's this massive thing going out online now it's weird online discourse I don't really know how this has happened but But there's been a debate that if someone were to bring in a takeaway iced coffee to an interview, business guru Emma Greed actually has said that she says it's rude and she's a guru of business. How would you, if someone walked in with a takeaway iced coffee and went, hi guys, yeah, should I sit here?

23:39But they're holding a coffee. How would that say? Context, isn't it? They're not late. No, no, not that. I mean, it's, no, I didn't. No, I mean, context. Well, if they go, oh, sorry, I'm late. And they're holding coffee. is like, well, you spent that time getting your coffee. I mean, it's context in terms of what the job is and what industry. So, for example, if someone bought in a takeaway iced coffee to work at Stan Relevant, I wouldn't batter an eyelid. It wouldn't, you know, I'd be like, where's mine? But if you work in finance or it's like a real office job, then absolutely not. We've got an office.

24:14It's very different, Sam. We have a fax machine on route. The founders of this company wear vans and backward caps. It's different. We're edgy. We're disruptors. Yeah, we're so alternative. Yeah, we're disrupting the industry. Yeah, we just want to make some fucking magic. We want to make some noise, man. So I think contextually like that, it does make a difference depending on what you're doing. If she works in fashion, I don't see that as a particularly big deal. If you're interviewing to work at a coffee shop and you bring in a rival company's coffee, then I imagine that's probably a no-go.

24:45Or she comes in and goes, this is a pile of shit. and I want to show you what we shouldn't be doing. Well, do you know what I mean? That would, you know, that would make me walk you straight back out that door. Oh. Don't try too hard. But, yeah, so I don't think it'd bother me. I've got to be honest, I don't think it'd bother me. I think, especially for what we do, but I do think if you're in kind of finance, if you're in kind of, if you're a fucking, working at NASA and interviewing you, and you come in, roll in with your iced fucking coffee, I'd think Someone rolled in a nice coffee with me it depends how they're holding it You've got it in a tray You hold it in one hand You've got a tray?

25:24Yeah What, like a big No, it'd be one of those those brown things those brown cardboard things they've got it in a tray For the one Well Because I mean that would bother me because it's easier just to hold the cup Yeah, well exactly that's what I mean How are you holding it? How are you coming in? Are you busted? Alright, so you've got a bottle of water there Well, if they come in like this right, and they come in they go, sorry I'm late Oh my god So they're late Yeah. So that's the problem. It's not the coffee. And chugging a coffee. Well, for me, it would depend whether they are late as well.

25:51If you are late and you come in with a coffee, are you late? Because you had time to get the coffee, but not to be on time. Exactly. That's where I draw the line. But if someone comes in, because in an interview, you're going to offer someone water and a drink and that anyway. Well, I don't know. So if they bought their own. Are we offering them a drink? Yes. It's only a half hour meeting. Well, it depends what you're interviewing for. It's okay, fine. Fair enough. We'll give you a drink. So let's say someone interviewed us, God help them, about advice for interviewees coming to Stan Medervant.

26:22What are your three bits of advice for anyone interviewing to come to Stan Medervant? Come in with a smile. Come in with a dance. If you came in with a dance, I would literally be like, get in here. Now you're in. If they just, if they opened the door and just went. So what if the role is for, we wanted an in-house accountant? Would their dancing matter? Brother, let me tell you something. If an accountant walked in with pizzazz... You've seen Darren Fowler.

26:51Dazzer. That's why he's my accountant. What a boy. How's he does? He came in doing the limbo, and I was like, that's the guy for me. But do you know what I mean? If you have a bit of pizzazz, a little bit of something about you, because I think a lot of it is about being able to be around them. We can all do the job. No, we can't all do the job. Most of us can do the job. No, no. No, we can't. I want to be around you. Yeah, but that, no. Like, how are we going to get on? Like, Josh, are we going to be boys? You're not interviewing. Okay, that would be great if you were interviewing for a friend.

27:25Yeah, great, but we are going to be friends because we're family first. No, we're a business first. And a family. A business. But with a family element to it. so yours would be coming with a smile coming with a dance coming with pizzazz yes exactly what would yours be be on time yeah be well dressed yeah and what i mean by that that doesn't mean you have to wear a suit be appropriately dressed yeah i think would be the thing so not trackies and the well if i was interviewing a pe teacher that would be fine yeah right um uh and the third one would be do your research. But of course. Oh so that does come before the dance.

28:10Because what if they've spent all their time practicing the routine they haven't had time to find out they haven't had time to find out what the business does. Imagine the game of the routine. Mate if anyone's listening to this and we end up hiring again please come in with a routine. I had something I wanted to ask you. Please. There's been this thing going viral online recently. I don't know if anyone in the studio has seen it. You know who Kelly Clarkson is, right? Yeah, incredible. The best ever American Idol. So, yeah, okay. So, I didn't realise you would watch, if you watched, did you ever watch American Idol?

28:42No, but I know Kelly Clarkson. She's got a wonderful voice. She does a really brilliant song called Beautiful Disaster. She does. Well done. It really got me through some dark times. Okay, lovely. Well, there you go. So, Pete's a big fan of Kelly Clarkson. You're not going to lie how she got treated. She got treated very badly. So, basically, there's an online spat on Twitter, right? store in downtown new york and it was like this antique short store whatever it is she went in to try and buy a clock and the clock was like 15 grand and um and she went she was dressed in like normal clothes they didn't know who she was and apparently the member of staff looked her up and down like condescendingly it was like oh pretty woman and was like it was like oh don't think you're gonna have enough money for this or like something like that or i don't think this is right for you we can pass you over there to a cheaper clock or something like that right and she then went online and when I like at to the shop next time someone wants to buy a thing maybe don't look them up and down condescendingly right you would think it would finish there the shop then responded being like that's not what time for this right they responded be like that's not what happened the clock was never for sale so they like what Kelly's saying is lied and came back then Kelly Clarkson came back to them so there's now like a back and forth a beef between Kelly Clarkson and a clock shop right where the clock shop has now released the cc tv footage of the interaction the internet's aflame of people being like i don't know how this has happened but everyone's so invested now i want to get your thoughts on like have you ever been looked up and down before where someone's been like you're not the right person for this shot and what would you do if that happened to you it happens to me regularly look at me well what do they what do Anytime I go into anywhere, like we all know, like watches and things.

30:25Anytime you go into a watch, there's always security on the doors. They follow me around the shop. Like fully follow me. And you just know. You walk in in a fucking suit and you're not tattooed up to your fucking neck and you've got a stupid porn star moustache and fucking all the rest of it. They just let you fucking browse around. I get followed around. I remember years and years and years, like years ago, before I even started TV going to buy a car and looking around the showroom and sitting in a fucking car and someone asked me to get out of the car. Excuse me sir, not for you. So what do you think I did, Mr Petty?

31:01Bought it. Bought the car. And then refinanced the gaff. I just, yeah, I lived in it. But genuinely, yeah. Walked round and said, excuse me sir, if you mind, there's other people getting in cars by the way. Yeah, yeah. if you wouldn't mind stepping out of the car. And I literally looked at him one night and went, this car's not for sale. It's literally the whole thing. That's exactly what they said to her. Literally the whole thing of how much the car was. And I went, really? Can I speak to your manager? Spoke to the guy's manager. I went, I'll buy the car. Mate, do you know what's crazy? They said that exactly.

31:34They went, it wasn't for sale. And it was for sale. But that's what they said to her. I'm so petty though. I then went to found that salesman and went, can I sit in it now? I actually, you know what's happened to me before as well? In LA, yeah. I was in LA. is when me and you were there, actually, but it was just after you'd left and I went to a Balenciaga store. Tough in stores like that because everyone looks like shit in Balenciaga. Well, yeah, that's the thing. You're exactly the person. If someone walked in a suit in Balenciaga, I'd think, oh, I don't think this is for you. If you walked in and I'd go, have everything.

32:01Mate, they sell shopping bags in there for fucking 1 ,500 quid. How many did you buy? No, but I went in and was looking at a hoodie, right? And the security guy came in and went, excuse me, sir, are you going to buy anything? I went, and I panicked and went, yeah this and like just pointed at this bloody target that I didn't want and I was just browsing Was it that purple one that you really got the news out of? No it was the grey one though it was the grey one and Oh I know the grey one Yeah the grey one The grey one that's got bleach on it or something but you continue to wear it Yeah exactly and I literally and I went and I went yeah that one and he went he took it off the shelf for me and went alright mate and walked me with that item of clothing to the fucking counter and instead of just backing myself and being like do you know what actually mate I don't fucking want you you're a wanker I've got my credit card out and paid for it.

32:45It's also one of them. I suppose it's very difficult to tell when you go to like, you know, expensive places. I suppose you do get a lot of kind of window shoppy type people. But everyone's in time. As long as people aren't doing damage, I don't really understand it. But either way. Team Katie Clarkson.

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33:39Pete Wicks, you know, we always ask whether he exists and all this kind of stuff. And I think we can now agree that he does. Oh, I'm glad that the case is closed. Pete Wicks has been seen at the cinema. And I know it just sounds like, look, normal people do go to the cinema. I go to the cinema all the time. I love the cinema. But I... Do you like the cinema, Pete? No, I like the pictures. Pete calls it the pictures, for one. And two, I just can't imagine you, right? So he went with Liv and he, I can't imagine you going up being like two tickets to see whatever it may be. And then being like, we'll have a mixed popcorn, please.

34:17And I, uh, chocolate fudge brownie, um, ice cream. Well, no, we're off to sugar, aren't we? Oh, okay. So no Tango ice blasts then for you. But we did have Tango ice blasts zeros. Oh, nice. Can you imagine Pete with a big Tango ice blast? Large. An Odeon. Large, filling it up. We had, you know, the red and the blue. Two of them. We'll have a large salty popcorn. Yeah. Not mixed. No, I like, I quite like a mix, but Liv prefers the salt, so I'll just make do with the salted. Yeah, fair enough. I mean, I would prefer salt myself as well, to be fair. I'm fine with the salted. It's quite the sacrifice you made there.

34:51Dude, why don't you just get your own? Eh? Why don't you just get your own? Because I didn't want a whole suite. I just wanted something to have a little pic at. I can't imagine them, like, sharing. I can imagine the Tango Ice Blast. I don't know why. I can see that quite clearly. I can't see that at all. We went to see The Social Reckoning because I'd watched The Social Network earlier in the week and it was actually quite good. I wouldn't ordinarily watch that sort of bunch of nerds and all that, but watched it. So then we went and watched The Social Reckoning and it's all right. It was, yeah, it was interesting.

35:30I like things that are sort of loosely based on a true story and all that. I'll ask you a question. when you left did you discuss the film together you know when you walk out yeah that was good yeah we come out and it was alright wasn't it did you like get into it she went yeah that was basically the conversation nah I know you delved in I can imagine you going out and be like god I'll tell you what and then having like you know everyone does post like cinema debrief well no we didn't because we we went it was sort of late at night Leicester Square fucking busy too many people don't like it that's a bold place to go well I tell you because I like the chairs it's a long time to be sat there it's uncomfortable I like the chairs there so it's nice yeah the VIP bits well it's better for my back because it's I don't yeah I like it there I just don't like the people there because it's just for and then you have to walk out of Leicester Square and you've got loads of drunk people fucking bashing in here and doing this that and the other and anyway so we were waiting for the car but we didn't really discuss it and then sort of we were on the way back and obviously you know you know i like to have a look into things once it's always a bit of a true story i then started googling what the journalist um uh jeff horschwitz um was doing now and whether francis hulgan who's the whistleblower for for um uh facebook what she does now what she's currently worth and i i did do a bit of a case study of it a deep dive we love a post-cine deep dive yeah yeah but it was listen the problem I have with the pictures you can't Pete, I'm just going to put out you're not that old like my grandad I don't think calls it the pictures and he's dead well he doesn't call it anything I don't think he ever did call it the pictures I still think he called it the cinema no, it was the picture but that's just how as I grew up, it was called it's not because that's just how I grew up do you know why it was called the pictures?

37:26Because it was a picture. Yeah, it used to be pictures that were framed on. That was from like 1917. Yeah, but it's passed down, isn't it? If you grew up with it being called that, then that's just what... An East London bit of slang there. I think they had sort of the pictures all around the world. I don't think East London was the... I've just never heard anyone call it the pictures before. You must have done. Loads of people did. Has anyone here other than, like, your parents call it the pictures? There you go. Shut the front door. Yeah. There you go. See? the picture I'd put a hands up so so anyway but the point is sometimes it's just something to do isn't it it's like a little chill date night you want to go and see saying if there's something you really want to see or like we watch that so you go and see it because I can't be asked to wait for it and to be honest with you I don't really watch a lot of TV like fucking all the other bits so if it's in my head to watch something I'll just go and watch it anyway the point of being at the pictures that I hate is the people the talking the dirtiness like why why do you have to discuss what's happening next to me oh I do that no no we sit in silence and we enjoy and watch I like to check in what I don't need is the couple in front going what do you think watch it and you'll fucking find out dickhead what do you think about people applauding no no what are you clapping for because it was a fucking good movie so who are you clapping for the director who's not there that doesn't matter he doesn't know you've clapped he'll know alright if you're at the premiere and the actors are there who are you fucking clapping for I was the honest no you're in the exact same Leicester Square yeah but you're the kind of fucking helmet claps when the plane lands yeah absolutely we landed safely and happy no and we all clapped and cheered no and when Avengers came out end game when you know when the portals open up yeah but that I understand people at Avengers end game because they're all of similar ilk but when Tobey Maguire Mate, when Tobey Maguire turned up in Spider-Man, everyone in the cinema went nuts.

39:29What would you do if everyone in the cinema went, oh my God, shut up. Would you cause a confrontation? Say someone's phone went off or someone who's being a little bit loud. Well, we went to the pictures a couple of months ago. What did you watch then? It was late at night. Oh, it was fucking awful. What's his name? Jacob Elordi, the one that's got the fucking dog in it. It was this weird film. Oh, the army one. Fuck me. that was that was a pile of shite that was yeah but we we went watch that and it was again late at night and the danger is you have like a couple who don't really know what to do don't really and they're already drunk so this girl uh and this fellow and they were about 40 like they went on kind of young um i imagine having an affair they were in the pictures and they were sort of two rows back and she did not stop giggling laughing poking like falling out like doing all this sort and I turned around will you shut the fuck up and she went that's Pete Wicks and Liv went shh and I went no she's ruining it for me but I get louder then at that point and then everyone starts looking around and then they left good I like that if you're going to the cinema you're going to the experience and listen a little bit of fucking chat if you want to talk the entire way through the fucking film fuck off I'm completely with you I want to watch the fucking film I don't want to hear laughing the dog died laughing no I hear you I completely understand actually talking about dogs nice little segue here Rodney tried his first ever Pappuccino we took the dogs for a walk and what is a Pappuccino it is the cream in a cup you can get from like Starbucks and that and my god it was like crack did you just go back fuck me he'd never had one before and genuinely I've never seen his eyes so wide it was where did you get them from like coffee shops really yeah if you go and get a coffee you can get like a little puppuccino type thing as a little treat not too much because it's not great for him but it's like a little cup and then but he has been on for dog's sake though he's done a couple of stints he's been used as a bit of a stooge dog so on episode three we used him to assess Rachel who was a little blind Frenchie to see how he got on with her and he was just he's just incredible he's great on camera he really is he knows where the camera is he knows what he's doing I had a little chat with him before about kind of how it works and that and yeah he's fucking brilliant we've got him on the payroll would you get him an agent and that's a genuine question he's got an agent see this is the thing like do you have a little separate bank account for him no it's my bank account straight he's done a lot of brand stuff and he now gets his own kind of riders what would be in his rider what would be Rodney's rider if he could speak he's the bottled water oh right okay of course very best well of course you know he's going to have a rider he has bottled water and certain treats that he likes.

42:20What are those? They are kind of a natural venison skin. Venison skin? Yes, because it's a little chew just for the bits off camera. But he's very good on camera. He does lots of photo shoots. He's very, very good. We have to kind of, he costs a lot of money based on the size of him and how much he eats. So we're just, you know, he's paying for himself these days, which is good. Do you know what? This is so true. I was just reading this and it's so true about what you do as well every dog you ever see whenever I'm with you you call puppy yes and it says hello puppy hello puppy that's always the hello puppy yeah I don't know what it is and why I do that because you know we film with some elderly dogs and I call them puppy and it's very confusing for people but I don't know why but I call them all because they're sweet and cute and puppies are cute well yeah I don't know what but it's I'll be honest with you it's quite annoying like the amount I kind of say it is a little bit mental.

43:21I've got into a routine now of obviously now that I work with dogs and film with dogs quite a lot. I have a routine of saying the same thing over and over again and repeat myself. I love them. It's my favourite dog. It's my favourite. Even I know that. Yeah, every dog I meet is my favourite. And everyone goes, you can't do them all your favourite. Well, I do. And they don't understand what I'm saying. so they don't know when I'm lying. We've got a tally here actually. So, so far this series you have approximately four favourites per episode. Which is amazing because we feature four dogs per episode.

43:57So it's... Mate, you can't just have four favourites in every single one. Well, and they're only the ones that we're shouting. Yeah, but sometimes you also will meet like a litter of puppies, multiple favourites. Yes, well, if you meet, because the one that I'm holding is my favourite and then I'll pick up and they'll go, but you're my favourite. What do they have to be to be your favourite? What do they have to, let's say, okay, instead of the job interview, a dog comes in, what does it have to do to be your favourite? Just come in. Just walk in. And it's my favourite. Be a dog. Yeah, being a dog is my favourite.

44:28I mean, listen, it's tough because, you know, Lola and Stitch, Liv's dogs, Rodney is obviously my dog and he's my favourite. But then I see Lola and she's my favourite. and then but then I say hello to Stitch and she's she's my favourite so you can't say that Rodney's your boy he's my favourite he's your boy yeah but then you meet Lola and she's like you're my favourite but Rodney's got little fake bean eyebrows so is Stitch but that's not why they're my favourite they're my favourite because they breathe yeah I hear you are you not your favourite no okay no we also made the headlines this week Peter not sure where they got this one from Pete Wicks reveals big health decision after making pact with girlfriend and Leveria Atwood.

45:14There's been some great journalism this week. Because I saw a wonderful one about the fact that I'm preparing myself to have children. Oh yeah. I saw that. Utter rubbish. Was it a source? I would say, yes of course yes. I would say that 98 % of what you read right now is utter bullshit. The pact that I have which is my big health decision is to cut out sugar until Vegas. So because I think if you read it, it sounds like sugar was slowly killing me. So I've really turned my life around, which is good. It's been tough going through such a serious health battle with sugar. But thankfully I'm on the mend.

46:00Things are looking up. Imagine if it was Pippa who was the source. I wouldn't put it past Pippa. That's like the worst thing you could say about me. I would not put it past me. if you really deep it think about it I'd have some better stuff to say than I would say I would say if we're doing a league of grasses Pippa isn't she's not up there who's up there you oh fuck off no I would never but I don't think you'd realise you were doing it but yeah I don't think Pippa would be up there on that also Sam when I typed in your name for a headline I'd have better stuff to leak than made in Chelsea Sam Thompson's plea I don't even know how you say it to save Carmarthenshire working man's club oh yeah I saw that in Wales the first headline that comes up yeah that was weird well no it was good good cause good cause you wanted to save the 133 year old tell us about it it was just it was just a friend it's nice that you put your name how often do you go down Carmarthen working man's club it was a Welsh friend of mine who was like could you just put your face to this video and I was like what's going on obviously it's a good cause so I was like sure so I did this little video saying you know working men's club they've you know their heritage it's good that you put your name to it and you did all background checks because I've researched it and don't tell me that's like a crime ring or something there no no no no but it has recently opened the reason it went down it was closed for three years due to a murder but it is it's a good it is a good trust Pete to research that I hadn't even seen that fucking headline Pete's seen it researched it and come back with there was a murder you are autistic just admit it and let's get you tested yeah I'm of course joking but thank you for your autism it's really pleased us all anyway right that'll do us I think that's us done what a lovely episode guys thank you so so much for listening or watching wherever you are in the world at the moment because I think we're branching out we're getting a little bit more global at the moment getting quite a few messages saying we're listening from Australia.

48:09Does that mean a tall might be on the horizon to Oz? Who bloody well knows? But thank you. We appreciate you. We love you. This has been a Staying Relevant production.

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49:02Hello, Relevanters. we wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music we are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid one of our favourite games all with fictional characters so prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas and possibly the genie from Aladdin we don't know yet we're sort of like undecided on that one that's an avoid for me that one genie I don't know I quite like it listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.