How Well Do Sam & Pete REALLY Know Each Other?!

0:00Hematomas and queefs. That's you for the next month. Hematomas and queefs. That should be the name of a podcast. What would it be about? Are you listening to the next episode of Hematomas and Queefs? Welcome to Hematomas and Queefs, hosted by two best friends. Hematoma and queef. Who would you want to be? A really bad detective duo. Mulder and Scully, Hematoma and queef. You're queef, you're hematoma. Oh, why? Because he's more queefy. Yeah. Welcome to a podcast hosted by two best friends. The bonus of Hematoma and Queef. I'm Queef, Pete's Hematoma. Let's have a lovely episode. So in case you don't know, this is staying relevant.

0:43This is the bonus episode, which means it's Thursday, which you'll be able to watch on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel from 5pm on Sunday. And then Monday's main episode, which came out audibly, you can now watch as of 5pm last night, which was Wednesday, which means you can catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. This episode will contain swearing. If you don't like it, go fuck yourself. Make sure you rate, review, do all of that crap. Please follow and subscribe to the YouTube. You know the score by now. And if you want to feature in this episode or you just want to get in touch, tell us all about yourselves.

1:18Make it interesting. Then email the worst email address in the world, which is... Hello at srproductions.co.uk and we really do mean send us anything. Your silliest thoughts. Yes, no nudity. No nudity. Don't send us any dick pics. We'll take a foot pic for you and send it. So now they're not sending. We're sending them our feet. Do you want to ask the listener? Would you like some feet pics? What you want to respond to the emails with photos of feet. Sam, you've not opened your own emails. Let alone the fucking... You want to monitor the hello inbox and respond with your... Actually, that could be a thing.

2:01I would love to monitor that inbox. How about what we'll do, maybe, is Sam will... I'll pick the emails. Sam next week. Sam next week is going to pick two emails. Are there any that can't make the pod? Yes, of course there are. Yes, are you kidding? Of course there are. We've got photos of people's shit before. No, we have not. Why have we not included that in the pod? Because I blocked them. Because it's a photo of a shit. Oh, that's jokes. Wow. All right. Okay. All right. Let's just role play this. Sam, we've heard an email. It's someone's shit. Oh my God. Wow. Like what fucking, is there corner of the cob in it?

2:33Like what kind of form is it? Is it girl poo? Is it boy poo? How would you be able to tell the difference? I imagine girls more like rabbit pellets maybe. Do you reckon you could tell the difference? Yeah, 100%. Unless it's the girl from the high rocks. Because she's just been streaming out the back passage. Nice. Topical. Topical. Very topical. Topical. All right. Do you want to kick off? Okay. Hi, Sam and Peter. I've just seen this TikTok. Oh, I like the sound of that. You know we love a TikTok. We love a TikTok. I've just seen this TikTok trend and feel like it's something you both need to try on the pod.

3:11It gets better. It could either prove you know each other inside out or the complete opposite. Basically, you each get five random words. One person has to describe them while the other guesses. but you only have 15 words in total to get to get them to guess all seven please put the friendship to the test i believe in you both from katie now katie what you don't understand is i can't register what you've just said i'm gonna now need pete to reread that and explain to me what the fuck's going on in this game and then i will understand peter over to you so you have been whatsapped some words okay yeah you have to describe the words yeah and i have to guess what the word is but there is a limit to how many words he can use so you can use 15 words across and that's across all seven so basically if you average it out you've got two words per to describe and you know if we need help on one you can use your bonus third yeah okay cool is that is that is that a fair way i i yeah yeah i'll count your words i'll keep track of your words and josh is gonna say when pete guesses one of the correct words okay i can't wait to see what you think is gonna work and so so so think right all i'm gonna say in this so logically think right yeah how you can get me to guess all i've got this easy but you can only say 15 words you have 15 words for me to guess seven fine done to describe seven i've got this so when are we starting now this is going to be i just want to put it out there a clusterfuck no one's gonna be fun glass i already know i'm gonna know i'm gonna be really strict on your word limit you can't start saying multiple things okay ready yeah starting now pippa green boss no green uh Jealous.

5:11No. Grass. No. Matcha. Yes. Nailed it. Okay. Hallelujah. Coachella. Festival. Singing. Song. Hallelujah. Justin Bieber. Yes. Oh, easy. Maybe I am going to limit Pete's guesses. Ready? Favourite. He said five. Okay. I've not done. Favourite. Dessert. Tiramisu. Yes. And cream. Strawberries. Yeah. That was really good. That was clever. Oh, this one. Oh.

5:56Yellow fin. Tuna. Yeah. Yellow fin tuna. It was my two words. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Yellow fin tuna. Sushi. Yes.

6:08Pete era. Jim. Yeah. How many words have I got left to guess? One. I'll be honest with you. Smashing this. Smashing it. You've actually done very well with that. Mate, I know what Pete would think. I can tell that you're doing it for me. Yeah, for you. So, for example, the paper and green, I knew eventually you'd know exactly what that means. Okay, there you go. Sorry. You've got two words left. Okay. Oh, this is great. Okay, cool. I'm going to get this. Ready? Okay. Ready? Oh, this is going to be really hard because I can't. Okay. Pete. That's not the word. Animal. You're out of words, Sam. I actually do have a spare third.

6:51But I've got five guesses. I have a spare third. No, I think you used it. No, I didn't. All right, save that. So I've got five guesses. Koala. No. Mosquito. No. It's not cat. No. I've got two left. Give me the third word. Fin. Dolphin. Yeah. See, mate, you can't do us like that. We don't work. I wasn't trying to do you. You weren't trying to do us. It wasn't even my email. Fuck you, Pippa. Fuck you, tell you what. Katie, listen to me now. You can't, you can't get to us like that. We're on a different plane of existence. I think she believed, she actually said she believed in us. She wasn't trying to get to us.

7:34Katie, you believed us, you were correct. Pippa, you can't do us like that. I'm impressed. I'm really impressed. Thank you. Right, are we going the other way around now? Do you want to? He's really enjoying this. Go on. I love a game. Yeah, I know. You've locked in on the game. I love a game. You want to follow that same path and try and do it to your guests rather than logical. Yeah. This is going to be harder for me. I'm not very good at things like this because I go so logical on things. Yeah. I need to think, Sam. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Think about what we've spoken about before. Yeah, yeah. You did really well with that.

8:02That was actually, you made that very easy. Yeah. I'm going to make Pete's a tiny bit harder. Great, great. Queef you wherever you make me. Strawberries and easy. Okay, I've sent you seven. Whoa! So similar thing. So you get five guesses per word, Sam. I think you should only get three. Okay, fine, I'll get three. Anything I say, yeah, whatever. All right, you ready? Yeah, go. Behind you. Cat. Lamp. Nice. Cute. Toasted flump. What the fuck is that? That's good. That's good. Toasted flump. Okay. Toasted flump.

8:48Look at this. I know when it's said, it'll be like, oh, okay, fine. Toasted flump. Okay. Cheese toasty. Toasted flump. Is this something that Pete likes? I'm not playing. Toasted. Marshmallow. Yes. Fuck yes. You thought you had us, man. That was a tough one there. Yeah, but I got it, because what's flumpy? Drink bean. Nice. Drink coffee. Yep. Mario Kart. Game. Console. Mario Kart is a Nintendo. I feel like you can have that. Gaming. Oh, come on. I've given it to you. Would you relax? Get out my face. Okay, get out mine. You're like in my face. Oh, this is a tough one. We got this, man. This is a tough one.

9:49How many have I got? I might have to use the three on this one. Now just give it, try two. Try two. Simplify. Dance.

10:01Tutu. Ballet. Fucking nice. Nice. Brother. Nice. Don't worry about it, Pippa. Stop worrying. Place. Musical. Theatre. Yes! Mate, what do you want? What do you want? He's got three left. You can. Oh, this is a fucking... Look, we tried to, we got three if needs be. This one is quite hard. No, this one's easy. Like... aardvark armadillo

10:41like aardvark are we saying it's like an aardvark so so antita yes yes mate what do you want from me you can't have this shit we fucking smashed that that was so much better than i thought both ways round. Nice. Oh, shit. I couldn't. I was struggling to think, Sam, but you went, I think you went logical for me there. Yeah. So I think, I think you pulled us through that. Mate, that was class. Yeah. You see, that was impressive. Yeah. I was going to say Pangolino. Tell us all how good we are. Well, you like a game more than I thought. I love a game. Oh, we're competitive. We like a game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

11:22We fucking smashed that. Katie, that was a great email. I really enjoyed that. Thanks for listening to the bonus episode. a lot to live up to here from lucy liam this one hey sam and p now summer is officially over i keep seeing everyone starting their winter arc so i want to know what's yours uh what is yours going to be this year sam you smashed your glow up out of the park so much so that i've copied your exact That's haircut. I bet you look lovely, Lucy. What would you say? You know who's called Liam? Eh? It's called Liam. Oh, I've got Lucy here. Is it Liam? Sorry, Liam. I did think it would be weird for Lucy to have your haircut.

12:07So basically what Liam's saying, he's bald. Liam. What would you set each other as the goals for the winter? And do you think you could actually stick to them until the end of the year? How did Sam stay so motivated? I presume that's for the glow up. I'm intrigued to know what you choose for each other. Love the pod so much. Liam. Well, I stayed motivated because I got binned off, mate. So, you know, it's an easy win that, you know. Yeah, I think the motivation for Sam was fear of being alone. Yeah, it's kind of, there's the only way is up at that point. You can't dig any further down. So that was easy.

12:42So, all right. So let's break it down then. So, Winter Arc, what the fuck is a Winter Arc again? A Winter Arc is where you basically go quiet and you go and work on yourself in silence. But then your silence speaks words. To be honest, I call that life. Your silence is deafening because then you come out like a phoenix from the ashes. It's not the definition of a Winter Arc. And then you listen to it. Okay, could someone give me the definition of a Winter Arc? It's basically you work a bit harder on yourself in the winter months when it's like dark and you're not going out as much. You lock in.

13:14Okay, all right, all right, fine. What's your winter phoenix then? I always lock in straight away to gym. I try and get a little bit, maybe some new clothes. But hold on, is this actually what you're going to, so this is not... Liam, I'm afraid, mate, I'm going to have long, luscious locks, mate, so you're going to be left in the dust. So hair transplant is... I mean, that's a pretty good one. That's a good one. Try and copy that. By the time he's finished, you'll look more like a Lucy. Yeah, yeah. whereas you're gonna look, I imagine, like a fried tuck. Yeah, so new hair. Yeah, fuck you, Liam.

13:48Yeah, I appreciate you, Liam. New hair, try and go through a breakup if you can. Good. I would then say... We were gonna get... Liam wasn't asking. Oh, oh. I'm just asking you what you're gonna do. Oh, right. But what you've done is give some great advice, which is wonderful. But you personally, is there anything you're gonna be doing, locking in on this winter. Obviously, Jim, probably paddle. I'm going to try and sort of get the paddle for sure. And who knows, might even start running again. Okay, all right. Oh, actually, I've got another one. Sorry. Sorry, just ADHD coming out of there. You go.

14:25No, no, no, Sam, no. You can say what you want, mate. Now I feel like I'm encroached. Sam, there's not a limit. It's all right. Sorry. Just tell us what you're going to do, my little phoenix. Learn to play the piano. You should have left it there previously. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Sam because we all know you're not going to do that a few years ago mate you bought a bible and told us you were going to be a man of the clock so oh yeah so I understand that we all have hopes and dreams but you have got about as much fucking follow through as alright so the piano's not happening I believe you'll play more paddle and you'll start running I brought the bible out of the plane and that was going to be a man of the church I just want to get back into religion.

15:12Like, you know, so we've all been, I get it. You ain't playing the fucking piano song. Wow, that's my winner. What's yours? What's your phoenix? I've never fucking thought about it. So mine, boringly enough, I do want to be more healthy.

15:30And do you know what? Because it's personal, isn't it? It's not like the other ones. Yeah, I want to check in on them in December. so i want to be more healthy you like chinese no sorry there was no context at all do you remember the guy yesterday was like i speak chinese and i'd like to speak chinese i would but i'm not gonna do that in the next two months yeah there was a guy that spoke china and i went i'd love to learn mandarin i'm not gonna do that by december let's be honest just trying to help you out and you're not gonna be fucking ludovico and Aldi by fucking December. He's amazing. I love him.

16:10I really like his music. Pete exists. So what do I actually want? Well, the next question, to be honest, I can't give you one. I don't know. Be more healthy. Be more healthy. Yeah, like I'm doing this fucking sugar detox, but I'm not just doing it because I've been told to. I would actually like to do that. I would like to be more healthy. I don't want to be drinking as much. And as boring as it is, maybe I should get a bit more in shape. I've got breasts. I'd like to... Did you? I'll tell you what I'd like to do. I'd like to reduce my breastage during my winter arc. I'd like to be a smaller-breasted phoenix.

16:49Could we add running into that? I don't want to run. It could be really fun. I don't want... Firstly, I don't want to run. Secondly, I really don't want to run with you. Oh, that'd be great. So my one for you would be to take more care. Of what? yourself what how and what my nails and well what i mean by that is we all saw the drastic approach to glow up and i'm not saying this because i think you look bad i'm saying this because you've mentioned it about getting comfortable again just do a glow up again but for you this time not for the reason last time you saw my face on that scanner isn't it no no no i'm i meant start i meant everything you literally said to me the other day i've just stopped buying clothing i've stop doing so so he's right you got happy so you said that so i'm not saying it because i think you look bad because you don't you're right i actually really like that for you just go i actually really like you no no no i actually really like you no no do the glow up this time for you because because i think you got to a period again after the summer run it back where you felt bad about the way you were dressed the way you were looking but pre that when we're in the glow up you loved yourself gotta run it back so run it back but this time it's not because you've been through a breakup you're doing a glow up because you're happy, not because you're sad.

18:04That's my winter arc for you. Can I just say something about the glow up? And that is, I'm not being mean, but that's what you said. We'll do that. I think we all need to take a look at what I used to look like. Because what's happening, I feel like, is with, I look to myself - You set the bar. I set the, see, I was so low. I was so low. Like it was real, I was wearing that little Gucci belt. Do you all remember that? Like it was a tough time for sure, right? That was like this, this, I looked fucking hideous. and then I did a glow up. I've dropped a little bit, but I haven't dropped as much. And so now I'm going to have to go to a new place.

18:37I don't know if I've got that in me. No, no, no, you don't. You just need to maintain. Just get back. But it's not so much that it's the reason I say that is because I want you to feel better about yourself because you've said a few things. Grippingly insecure. No, you've said a few things that make me think you're in a downer because you keep going on about your hair and obviously we're doing the show, you keep going about your skin and the dress, oh, I don't care anymore. Just care again. The skin was bad. Just care again. The skin was bad. But care this time, not because you're sad, which is why we went through the grunt last time.

19:11Care this time because you're happy. Do you know what mine was for you? Play the cornet.

19:18He's giving me such a lovely, such a lovely thing there. I just want you to be happy, man. I feel like... Sam wants me to play the cornet so that we can put on a performance of piano and cornet. That's exactly, but I thought in my head it was play the trumpet in the cornet and start a brass band. Like you could, you can go tuba, you can go cornet, you can go fucking French horn if you want. But the problem is, and again, we've literally just had this conversation about something else outside. When there's a suggestion and we say yes, when I say we say yes, you say yes, and it's never going to happen.

19:53We have to look at, we are never going to be in a brass band by December when she checks. But what we may do is I may have got a bit fitter and you may have bought a new t-shirt. What I'm saying is set that bar low and we will achieve. I like to be delusional.

20:16By December, we're not going to be in a brass band. We fucking are. When you said you've bought a piano. Yeah, but no, not an actual ground. A keyboard. A keyboard, yeah. You've bought one? Yeah. Where's it going to go? In my office? In your office? You're going to be sat in your office? Yeah, just learning how to key. In between, what else goes in that office? Gaming room. Gaming room. Gaming, football. Yeah. But my point is - I like that. It's a hot bit. I like it. I won't be talking for six weeks after surgery again. So I'm thinking to myself, well, I better learn a skill. Smart. See, now that makes sense.

20:49And I think that's a great one. Why did you go piano over guitar? Because all - because - because **** play the guitar. I just I think that if I pulled out the guitar, especially in front of you, my peers in this office, I think if I put out guitar, you would all laugh at me. Whereas if I said, can I play you like a nice tune on the piano? And you banged out green sleeves. I feel like you'd be like, that's actually pretty cool. All right. So let's not check in December. All right. Because we'll be checking back on lots of shit. Let's check after Sam's surgery when he comes back and then we'll see because it gives me more time to stick to being to the gym.

21:23because hopefully I'll see some sort of progress on the reduction of breasts by sort of February time. So hopefully when we come back, Sam will play a song and whilst Sam plays the piano, I'll reveal my new body. Oh my God, that's amazing. People take his top off and I'll play the piano. You heard it here first. All right. That's class. See you in February, I guess. See you in Feb, bitch. See you in Feb. Fucking hell. Question time. We're not leaving until Feb, by the way. We're carrying on, but we're just saying for that, we'll see you in Feb. Liam has smashed that. Well, we've kind of taken your email and made it better, Liam.

21:56But like, you did well. Nice, Liam. Well done. I just want to give a shout out to Lucy. Yes. Question time. Do we have time for question time? We have time, always. Okay. Sorry, boys. A slightly more serious. Oh, a serious question. Sam, my son has just been diagnosed with ADHD. Please, can I get some advice? I get a lot of heat for this sometimes when I give advice out for ADHD. I try and stay away from advice if I can over like a digital medium just because it goes out to quite a few people. And I'm not a doctor. The only thing I would say is I like to channel my ADHD into something that I truly love.

22:36So whether that's a podcast with my best friend, I'm very fortunate to be able to do that. Whether it's radio, again, very fortunate to do that. Broadcasting in some kind of sense, I adore. I think I'm creative, so I like to do Instagram. That's just me, right? But let's say your son loves gaming. Like, I bet more than anyone else, that kid will be the best gamer out of a group of 50 of his mates because he's got ADHD. Or is his hyper focus coding? Could it be computer coding? Could it be AI? Whatever it may be, I would say tell your son to channel. It could be football, anything. Warhammer. Tell your son to channel that ADHD into something that he absolutely adores.

23:17and I sure as shit can guarantee he'll go to the moon with it and be incredibly successful. I call it a superpower. There are many, many, many bad things that come with ADHD and I struggle with it every day, but I like to see the positive in it and I think your son can too. I think he can be a superhero. I love that. It's really nice. People sometimes don't like the superhero. And as a friend of someone with ADHD, many people with ADHD, I seem to collect them like Pokemon. What I would say to that is, for me it's always encourage them to be themselves no matter what so you're not for everyone but also people without ADHD I'm not for everyone so you know people there actually some people you know might find it annoying and this that and the other but there's a million people that don't but you should never stop being yourself regardless and he's a very special boy yes nice Would you rather be raised by a pack of wolves or a family of gorillas, Pete?

24:20Do you know what? What I've noticed, this podcast is ADHD. It's just fucking crazy. It's just its finest. It's just, that is not even a question. That's the most easy fucking answer. You love a gorilla. This is exactly it. Wolves, obviously, for me. I mean, I don't think anyone would be surprised by that. But for two reasons. First being, obviously I love dogs. I'm going to love wolves. I have spent time with some wolves previously. Not in sort of, they didn't bring me up. But, you know, I love, I think they're just incredible. I love the mentality. And the reason that it couldn't be gorillas is because, as I have previously mentioned, don't like to talk about too much.

25:02They petrify me. I have a genuine, one of the only things in the world I'm scared of is gorillas. I think they're incredible, magnificent animals. but I feel like if they wanted to take over the world they would. What would you do if we said you had to go to the Congo and sit? You know when you go and sit in the jungle and they come up to you and they're fucking massive. They start playing with you and shit. Like would you be able to do that? I would love to do that because like you know me, like it's one of them like this. It's my bucket list. It's I'm not scared of anything really. You'd have a punch out of anything.

25:40No, no, no, no. what I mean by that is like if it's something like you know the first time uh you go bungee juggle skydiving I'm like yeah fucking let's do it I wouldn't be like that with the grillers because I think I would genuinely be scared but I would do it because I want to get over that fear because I do because I but because I do think they're magnificent yeah so they've not done it I know and that's the thing so I don't know how to react because I've never been scared of anything so but I would want to go and do it I wouldn't be like no I'm not doing it I'm not doing it I I would love to go, but it would either go one of two ways.

26:11Either I would then just go, oh, my God, they're actually incredible, gentle, magnificent animals. Or I would scream in the fetal position and then get beaten to death. I imagine if it tried to steal Pete. He's like, where's it taking me? Just let it go. Just let it go. Go live. Do you know what the weird is? I have a bit weird affinity with kind of animals, and the likelihood is I would be kidnapped by a gorilla, and then they would bring me up. Well. I'd be petrified first. It's interesting to say that. Mine would be gorillas. You'd want to be raised by gorillas. Yeah. Are you joking? Yeah. Yeah.

26:45Mowgli. I hear you. Okay, fair. But I imagine being able to quite, like, if you're raised, if you are, it says here, raised. No, hold on. Hold on. Sorry. And I don't mean to sort of shit on your parade. Gorillas don't get into trees. No, no, no. No, not at all. Tarzan isn't real. so so just because you're being raised by a gorilla does not mean that you become a gorilla and then can swing through the branches i have toes i have fingers i could like you know like things bend a little bit and you sort of become acclimatized your situation i wouldn't be tarzan but my god would i be climbing trees like an absolute beast okay boxes or briefs good segue boxes i i know this answers the question i already know peter so yesterday was it yesterday no it's day before yesterday me and pete um did something for this show that we're filming and um pete was like oh god because we had to get our kit off yeah if that doesn't give you incentive to watch the show i don't know when it says kit off uh we've done it sort of i think we filmed seven days so far three of the days we've been in pants and one of the days no pants yeah pete's bollocks are genuinely on film camera genuinely it was a wide it was it but they're there you can sit but it's you can see it there's a lot of pixelation i hope yeah it's gonna be good but but pete told me turns around goes this could be a bit awkward i was like why he goes i'm wearing briefs and i'm like what you're a white front man pete is permanently i don't his brother his best friend didn't know that you're a white front man yeah you won't show us your pants i'm not gonna show you my pants oh i've actually got boxers on today so so but there's there's two sides to this so but i wear because box i don't wear boxers i wear they're more like a french knicker yeah you're tight tight and high tight and high or full wide front i've seen you in pants before though you've never worn wide fronts around me yeah i do i've never seen it but if i'm filming high you wear those very high boxes yeah i wear really tight ones but if i'm no one filming that's where i wear boxes because sometimes when we have to fucking film things or whatever else like i'll wear boxes because i do have a slight issue obviously we've discussed many a time with the y front especially age now i said this the other day when sam and i had to film and we had to wear some some other kind of pants it took me a good 15 minutes to tuck the skin around my nutsack in in you know so the y fronts become a problem when you're filming because there's a lot do you wear them because they're comfy or yeah i find them more comfortable what about the comp what is it about a y front that is comfy to you It just keeps everything compact, doesn't it?

29:27And there's no swing. Can it not turn into a G-string sometimes? Gets bunched up in there, getting that crack. No, because it covers my arse. Yeah, but sometimes if it's getting bunched up. It's more for the bit in the front. If you look at some of the things I wear, for example, if I'm wearing a suit, always a brief. Right. Like always, because it can ruin the cut of the suit. if you've got a nice tailored suit or certain trousers or whatever else. I would say I probably wear them, the sort of tight boxers more if I'm in jeans because it is a little bit more comfortable. But certainly if you're in looser trousers, always a fucking Y front.

30:06Something I should look into. Like, and by saying Y front, I mean like speedo shaped. That's what I consider a Y front. And then the boxers are like the little trunk ones. Yeah, that's what I've seen you wear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're like still, they're not like fucking boxers. You, you're a boxer, but you're still the tight boxer. Tight boxer, yeah. You're not like a sort of a tart and short. I like an athleisure boxer. Oh. Yeah, I like an athleisure boxer. And how often are they clean? Because we've filmed with you quite a lot. They're pretty clean now. Yeah? They are. I've stopped shitting myself now.

30:37And on that note, actually, would you rather eat Josh's nose or his toes? I've already got one. Is this where we're at? Yeah. Is this where we're at? It is. And I'm actually... That can't be a genuine question time. Why? Someone has wrote in. So someone has gone to the trouble of typing, would you rather eat Josh's nose or toes? I know where I'd be. Whoever that is, stop listening to the pod. The question is how many toes, I guess. Are you going to take 10 down? All of them. He's got a toe. They've got bony, you've got quite bony toes. Toes are toe. Toes are toe. But. No, that's not true. Why?

31:17Why? Well, because some people have dirty, horrible feet. And some people have exquisite feet. Let's say they're clean. Well, it's just Josh's toes. You don't get to pick whether they're clean. I love you, man. You look like this little guy that has got crooked, ugly feet. I'm taking your nose, Josh. It's a nice nose, right? I'm eating your nose. I've got to say, for a minute, you've got a very delicate, sweet little nose. You do. So for me, I'd rather nibble on your nostril than take down a toe. In fact, actually, weirdly, I'm kind of keen to do it. Josh, are you up for it? It's late at lunchtime.

31:52Are you up for it? Do you want to have a... Just a little... I'll go molars. Josh, would you mind if he had a little go? Well, you said you've got a cough, so maybe not today. Well, why don't you, just so we get a bit of context, because we can see your nose but can't see your toes, just take a sock off just whack a oh no I'm not doing that just whack a foot up there is this Pete's first HR is this Pete's first HR I'm not getting naked I don't want your cock mate how naked are you talking right now alright well let's say then we're both going to go nose purely because we haven't seen the tootsies yeah and thank you very much Josh for ruining the podcast but also thank you for whoever wrote that kind of question I'd just like to say you're a piece of shit and secondly any more questions like that and I'll leave and on that fucking bombshell thank you for listening to Staying Relevant with Pee Wicks and me Sam Thompson or Hematoma and Queef to feature in this podcast email hello at srproductions.co.uk subscribe and follow so you're the first to know of each new episode rate 5 stars and leave a review follow us on all socials at Staying Relevant Podcast subscribe to us on YouTube just search Staying Relevant Podcast for the full video of this episode that goes live every Sunday.

33:10We will be back on Monday with our main episode. We'll see you next time. And if you do, fancy a queef. Let it out. This has been a Staying Relevant production. Hello, Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie.

33:51I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.