Love Islander's saucy tweet to Sam...

0:00Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden, or maybe on the golf course, can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

0:35So you're not worried about hosting the whole family for the holidays? Why would I be? Wayfair had everything I needed to get the house holiday ready. What if Mike brings his cheerful dogs? My tree has tons of five-star reviews telling me how sturdy it is. But what if everyone's plus one brings a plus one? We'll see how extendable this extendable table really is. And extra chairs are on the way. Okay, what if there's a blizzard and everyone has to sleep over? Ready to go with extra bedding and towels. From guest-ready essentials to holiday decor you can trust, Wayfair delivers. Thank you for calling the Bombas Comfort Line.

1:08Bombas make socks, slippers, tees, and underwear made with the highest quality materials. Press 1 for comfort, 2 for style, 3 for donation. You chose style. Bombas is styles for whatever you enjoy. You can run in Bombas, lounge in Bombas, dress them up, dress them down, but always give back in Bombas. Because with every item purchased, another is donated. Bombas, comfort worth calling for. Go to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com and use code audio.

1:38Welcome to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode hosted by two best of the best pals, me, Sam Thompson and Peter James, Jonathan Joseph Wicks. This is the bonus episode, which means it's Thursday, so you'll be able to watch this on Josh's YouTube channel from 5pm on Sunday. And then the main episode, which came out on Monday, audibly, you can now watch on the YouTube channel, Josh's YouTube channel. So that means that you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. Lovely. Good. Thank you. Rape reviewed all of that crap as usual. You know the fucking... all the bollocks by now. at Staying Relent Podcast and as this is about you, the bonus episode, normally about you, it's your emails and all the other crap, then email us at hello at srproductions.co.uk Hello!

2:31Shall we crack the fuck on? We love it when you send emails in. We really, really do. And we've got a first one here from Charlotte and Lily. It's a twosome. Hi, Peter and Sam. I love your podcast and I always put it on the TV in the morning while I feed my little girl who's six months old and she loves watching your pod. She sits and smiles at the TV. And Pete's recent TikToks of him with his feet out are such an ick. I don't have TikTok. Definitely add that one to another Pete Wicks ick. I thought it was started so lovely as well, didn't it? It started so nice. The six-month-old, she loves watching us on the screen and it's just so nice and it's all very lovely.

3:14And I think she means to stay in relevant TikTok. Oh, yes. I don't see it because I don't have TikTok. And I think that - What's going on on the TikTok then? She's talking about the James Buckley video where we did our dance and you had your trotters out, I think is what you're saying there. All right. Pete, actually, Charlotte and Lily, Pete has his trotters out right now. He's wearing Birkenstocks. and with Birkenstocks what you do is you don't wear socks. I'm just going to take this for a minute. Sorry. There has been an awful lot of talk about my footwear and my summer shoe game. Shoe game.

3:55I come to the podcast comfortable, all right? It's for practical reasons. It's very warm in here. And also I don't care. I don't care whether you like my feet or my shoes. All right. So in future, when we email in and talk about my shoe game, send me a picture of what you've got on your feet. Because I'm quite happy to review your shoe game. I'm going to be honest with you. I feel good about the shoe game today. I know it's very plain and whatever else, but I think maybe I've been beaten today in bad footwear choices. Because Sam is currently wearing Crocs and socks. um but sports mode but oh the old turbo fucking dash just in case I need to make a run for it I mean what's is my shoe game that bad well I don't actually think it's your shoe game so much as um because actually tying into that we've got Freddie and Jazz who've added to that um going we hello guys we was recently watching the in between us dancing that Pete and Sam did on TikTok and couldn't help but notice Pete's abnormally long toe there's a theme here it seems a weird thing to pick up on but we couldn't get past the sheer size of it compared to the others and wondered if anyone had picked up on this before.

5:13I've attached a screenshot for reference. Right. Love the episode and love the pod. Can't wait to see both of the O2 in September. That's from Freddie and Jazz. And Pete, look, I will just say this. He's got actually quite normal toes. I don't know what you've done to your foot there, but it looks like you don't have any toes other than your last one. It looks like your feet are swearing. I'm just going to, yeah, I'm going to be honest with you. Because of the zoom in on there, and obviously it's fairly blurred, It looks like I have no toes apart from one. It looks like a clenched fist. I'd just like to point out that I am human and not a primate because that does look like the feet of a monkey or something because it's sort of like that, isn't it?

5:52I don't know what's happened there. But I don't know. I'm going to say this is probably angle because actually I quite like my feet. I've got quite normal feet. So Pete's getting his feet out now for everybody. They're not of a different shape. They're all kind of full in symmetry. And for the people listening, again, I will do an explanation. We have full toes out right now. We have some lovely furry bits on each toe and a lovely little bit of hair on the midfoot. Do you mean just hair? Just hair, yeah. You don't say furry bits because it sounds like I've got toe jam. He's looking furry but in a lovely sort of masculine way.

6:25My big toe's got a comb over. His big toe's got a comb over. Yeah, the big toe's got like a Bobby Charlton. But other than that, my feet are actually all right. Yeah, like there isn't a longer one. I think that's exactly how feet should look, isn't it? I mean, I'll be honest with you, the sort of like little pinky toe's a little bit shy. It hides a little bit under the other one next to it. He's just not as confident as the rest of them. But I think they're fairly normal. So I think that's maybe a bad angle, but thank you for pointing it out and making a big thing of it. It is fucking, that is wild though.

6:56See, that photo is wild. Freddie and Jazz. What I will say to you guys is, you're coming to the O2 in September. that sounds as if that may be the only thing you've got going on in your life. Pete, you've got 4.61 on WikiFeet. I've got what? The ratings on WikiFeet. What's WikiFeet? Sorry, what the fuck is the... Oh, okay, it's on the iPad. There is a website called WikiFeet for men. What on earth is this? So Pete's been scored on his toe game. you got a 4.61 stars. I told you, I've got nice feet. So Sam, Sam, has Sam got one? You've got five stars. What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, fuck that.

7:45Oh my God. Fuck that. He's got a five star. No, get your fucking trotters out. Oh, I can't now. No, get them out. No, I'll tell you why I can't. My toenails are falling off after the run. Get them out then. No, because they're going to look real bad. Listen, wicky feet demands it. Get your fucking shoes out because I'm not having you having better feet than me. You have not got better feet. Listen, I'm going to be really honest with you right now. As I've mentioned a number of times right now, from the ankle above, you look better than me. At least let me have the ankle down. Look at my toe. Let me have a look.

8:14Rotten. Absolutely rotten. What in the fuck are they? Look at the underside as well. They are... Right, I'm going to be honest with you. Listen, you'll be able to watch this on the YouTube because I know for people... Mate, that is a horrendous... But there's nothing I can do about it. They fall off after you do that kind of run. So I've just got to wait for them all to fall off. Your fucking plates of meat are rotten. Plates of meat. I've got a five star, mate. So don't start. Not after that. I'll tell you what. Everyone update the wiki feet. Now that you've seen my beautiful, beautiful fucking feet.

8:44And you've seen, now he's swinging a sock around. What a cunt. No. Fucking wiki feet. Oh my God. They're actually called gorgeous feet. If you get a five star, it gives you gorgeous feet score. Someone's going to be wanking to our feet tonight I'm speechless I'm over the moon I'm fucking quite angry about it Just carry on with a pod Oh my god It's a fucking joke That's fucking great Absolute fucking joke I'm over the moon with that Fucking five star gorgeous feet Come on then You're fucking They're vile Take a little bit of that They're vile I know but mate No listen Before the run No they were great Oh fuck off They were fucking great Have I got better feet than you No, you don't.

9:25Absolutely not according to WikiFeet. Well, what does WikiFeet know? WikiFeet has both of our feet. It's a fucking joke. God, I would sell feet pics if I could. I absolutely would. I have no problem with that. I dip my feet in beans and shit. I don't care. I don't care. Yeah, if someone wants a foot picture for me and you want to send me 20 beans, 20 quid. So if you send me the beans, I'll dip my feet in them. Is that what you mean? Send me 20 beans. You have to supply the beans though. All right, just 20. 20 will do fine. The thought of your feet dipped in a fucking pot of iron's beans makes me feel quite violently sick.

10:01Iron's beans. Absolutely rotten. Disgusting. They're rotten at the moment. No, I've always had nice feet. It's good to see that Pete's not affected by his 4.6. It's not even a bad score on wiki feet as well. I'm not losing feet to you. No. Fucking joke. Anyway, let's move on from fucking feet and your delightful feet. To be honest with you, it's not just your feet that people seem to like. Is it my penis? Well, I don't know. Actually, that was rogue, wasn't it? I don't know if anyone seems to see it. I wonder what your rating is on WikiPenis. Let's see what Sam's rating is on WikiDick. Anyway.

10:42Just about does the job. It's a 3.5. It fills a hole. Yeah. Barely. Right. So, yeah, it's not just your feet that people seem to give five stars to because you have been on a bit of a glow up um and we've had a screenshot that has been sent multiple times this week um about you um it's a comment that's gone in um i'm gonna be honest with you sam people love you at the minute so much so that someone um actually put on twitter where do i apply to sit on sam thompson's face asking for a mate. I know who that is. You know her?

11:27What? You know her? She's on Love Island. What? Is that legit? Is that actually her Twitter? No way! What? Oh my... This is a real person. So I'm going to point out, Sam, that this tweet, which has been sent in multiple times for this person that's on Love Island, what's her name? Hells. That's Helena. Helena. She tweeted this in 2017. That's not even when I was in the I was in my Gollum years. So is she is she is she in there now? Yeah she's in there now. She's one of the main characters. She's one of the main characters. So this was in 2017 that Helena has once set on your face. She hasn't seen you yet because she's in there but she will be seeing you on Aftersun.

12:14Are you going to bring it up? Oh, my God. Will you say to her, so, I mean, I think it should be done. I don't know if I can do that, poor girl. I'll be honest with you. If you let ITV know and whoever you need to, I don't mind coming on to ask her. If there is a reason for me to come on there. So, Helena, what do you think of Sam's face? Is it nice? Do you want to sit on it? Maybe what we could do, since we did the flag at Glastonbury, which is a complete piss take as me. Let's get a pillow made with Sam's face on and then as she sits down, you can put it underneath her and go, there you go, you're sitting on me face.

12:54I know that's all you've ever wanted since 2017. Maybe we can do that. So Sam, I mean, you're single. Is she loved up? Is she closed off? Has she been making iced coffees for people? Wow, she had a tough time in there. Is she putting a ring on it? What does that mean? No, not closed off. Not closed off. Okay, so she's still available. A couple of iced coffees have been made. I'm going to be honest with you, Sam. You know, I'm not saying that you have a type, but you seem to like the lavanders. Is Helena the next on the list? She seems keen. She's added me as well. She's actually gone forward. She's gone, where do I apply to sit on at Sam Thompson UK's face asking for a mate?

13:30I'm glad she got the Sam Thompson UK and not the Sam Thompson US. The official Sam Thompson. I need to find out what I look like in 2017. Don't you worry. Don't you worry. Because I've got a cracking Sam Thompson from 2017. Do you actually? Yep. Just you wait for this. So bear in mind what you look like now, Sam. Bear in mind what you look like now. This is what she wanted to sit on. All right? Are you ready? So this is what Helena wanted to sit on. Oh, my God. So the 2017 Sam Thompson's face, which she'd like to just fucking ride like a donkey, and legitimate. Just in case you thought Sam was illegitimate, he's legitimate.

14:23I cannot believe that. No one's ever sat on my face before.

14:32That's wild. I'd like to dig into that.

14:41So you're not worried about hosting the whole family for the holidays? Why would I be? Wayfair had everything I needed to get the house holiday ready. What if Mike brings his cheerful dogs? My tree has tons of five-star reviews telling me how sturdy it is. But what if everyone's plus one brings a plus one? We'll see how extendable this extendable table really is. And extra chairs are on the way. Okay. What if there's a blizzard and everyone has to sleep over? Ready to go with extra bedding and towels. From guest-ready essentials to holiday decor you can trust, Wayfair delivers. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast.

15:15Summer is here, and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden, or maybe on the golf course, can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. Thank you for calling the Bombas Comfort Line.

15:50Bombas make socks, slippers, tees, and underwear made with the highest quality materials. Press 1 for comfort, 2 for style, 3 for donation. You chose style. Bombas is styles for whatever you enjoy. You can run in Bombas, lounge in Bombas, dress them up, dress them down, but always give back in Bombas. Because with every item purchased, another is donated. Bombas, comfort worth calling for. Go to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com and use code audio.

16:22I don't even know how you breathe. How do you breathe?

16:30That's not even more the physics. I don't know if I should dig into this. Just give me a minute just to let the intrusive thoughts, just see if they pass. Just going to see if they pass. How does that even work? They're not going to pass. So no one's ever sat on your face before. So do you understand the concept? I suppose they just sort of like take a pew. Do you want to try it now? Well, you want to sit on my face? I'll sit on your face. Yeah, all right. Go on then. All right. Don't fart. When do I do things? Okay, fine. So just fuck, I suppose you just sort of mount me up. Yeah, I mean, I don't want to ask the girls, so I'm going to ask Josh.

17:07Do you think I should do it forward-facing or back-facing? Forward. Forward. I'm going to cock your mouth. All right. Well, no, because I'm not getting cock out. Okay, so... No, this is intense. Oh, my God. No, Jake, I'm trying to think, I'm trying to think, it's in my teeth. It's not UFC. It's in my teeth. Well, this just did, mate. Hey, how do you feel about that, Sam? So now someone's... Try again. Oh, you want more? Okay. Try the other way. Yeah, I'll do the other way. You ready? So do I just receive? Yeah, well, basically, I imagine what's supposed to happen when someone sits on your face, Sam, is...

17:44I don't know how to describe it. Cunnilingus. That's the idea. Do you squat on? Well, yeah, really. Oh, just if we do that... and then gives me, there's lots of room for me to answer. I can't breathe. There's all sorts of things going on. I can't breathe. Okay, you're putting me down onto you now. Oh, and I tell you what, it's 11-11, so that was your wish.

18:12Oh, fuck you. Bloody Nora. I've got to get into the lingo now, don't I? You've got to get into the fucking pussy, by the sounds of it. Jeez Louise. I'm going to be honest with you. we've been saying it for a long time that you have become a heartthrob but I assume this was a new thing that you have been breaking hearts and fucking all sorts since 2017 I'm so grateful for that I'm really really grateful that really means a lot I you know I will potentially when Love, Arden finishes now go to as many influencer events as I possibly can in order to bump into this girl just to say to her I can arrange this.

18:55God, a face sit. Yeah. I can't tell my sister about that. Oh, yeah, yeah, no. It's the first thing that I would do. Do you know what? Why don't you do a family group call and get mum and dad on? Guess what, guys? Someone wanted to sit on my face in 2017. She's on the telly now. Amazing. Do you know what's going to be more exciting is when people come off love and they all end up in couples, don't they? I can't wait to sit in front of a current fella. did you know that she wanted to sit on his face i'm gonna be like this see this what does her current fellow look like he's got a mullet harry's got a mullet harry's tell me he looks like sam tell me there's a resemblance because we've got so much fun with this show me show me show me oh my god it's you oh my fucking god my fucking god she's mate if you're marks and spencers she's going at the little sam thompson that's incredible look he's got the beard he's got the mullet he's tall though well it doesn't matter because she'll be sitting on the face she'll be lying down worry about the height mate she's gone for a basically a poundland version of you that is unbelievable poundland Sam poundland I don't think I'm ever going to be able to turn up to Aftersun again I feel like this podcast could be the death of my love I'm a career what we need to do before Aftersun is clip this up and get it sent to Maya in the hope that she brings it up.

20:22Well, there we go. I mean, listen, things couldn't have gone better for me. Well, I couldn't do that anyway. We've all had a lovely time. You couldn't do that anyway. Well, apparently I've got a girlfriend now, so, you know. As of yesterday, it's press articles. Do you really want to cover this one again? Because I'm going to be honest with you, Sam. This podcast was just supposed to be about you and I. And what it is, is just your right to reply every week for the new person that you're dating. It's incredible. It is utterly, utterly incredible. I think we leave this one out and hope that it goes away.

20:53I cannot go through another. No, we're just friends and I'm not dating at the minute. And then hearing about you going on four dates at the weekend. I can't do it anymore. I honestly can't do it. So can we just give the date in a... It's the way you're holding your head. It's just utterly mental. Like, I mean, can you imagine back when I was in the fucking dating phase, if we did this every week, the whole podcast would be who I've said no to. It's so hard. No. Okay. We're not doing it. We're not doing it. Well, listen. But we do have question time. Question time. So we've got a question. I'm going to do the first one.

21:26You get in there. So it goes up on the socials every week at Sam podcast. And after what we've just seen, the first question came in from a guy called Roy. And Roy says, so would you? With Helena. That's not on here. You've just made that up. No, Roy messaged in, didn't he? You just put it. Yeah. I don't know one bloke called Roy either. I've never met a Roy in my life. You could have picked any name if you went for Roy. Roy messaged in and said, Helena, Helena, Helen. Would you? Would I? I mean, you're single. How do we feel? Could this be a new blossoming? I imagine she's probably going to find a really lovely guy on Love Island.

22:07I hope that lasts and I hope it. You know, she's a great character on the show actually as well. So, you know, I hope everything works out well for her and whoever she ends up with. All right, fine. Well, thanks for the question, Roy. I hope that's answered it. This is one that we have discussed on the main episode, actually, but I will just bring it up one more time. Would you ever set up a staying relevant run club? Clearly there's a theme here. Clearly the people want it. So really quick answer to this one. Listen to the main it. The answer is maybe. Well, if we were to do that, what would you like to see from the Run Club?

22:42Do we have to get merch? Oh my God, yeah, obviously. Like a... It'd be a 5K conversational place. What would it be called? It would be the Stay In Relevant Run Club. The Relevanters. The Rella Runs. Oh my God, it'd be the Rella Runs. The Rella Runs. The Rella Runs. Sounds like diarrhea. That is awful. That sounds like a condition that you potentially pick up on travels of... In Bali. Yeah. Oh, the Rella Runs. Yeah. What's that? Similar to Bali Belly. It's basically when people listen, staying relevant and go, fuck, I've got the Rella runs. Oh, God. How was the O2? Rella runs. Missed all of it.

23:16I mean, yeah. Mate, I would love to. As I said, conversational pace, 5K. Conversational. Oh, so we have to talk as well. Oh, yeah. That's the whole point. That's the whole point. Excellent. I mean, to be fair, someone just asked for a picture who works in this building outside and Sam literally gave them directions to the studio, which was great. I'm not entirely sure why you've done that so the Staying Relevant Run Club is a possibility we are going to get merch as well so stay tuned for that one I'm going to be sure Staying Relevant we're doing all sorts of different things and there's conversations happening today Sam and I have just spoken we are going to be branching out into sport oh yeah yeah which is an idea to run past the team but we are going to be branching out into sport if you have been listening for a while, you may know roughly where we're going, but we're going bigger.

24:09We're going bigger. You may have seen Wrexham, but you haven't seen Stan Berman. Yeah, think of us like Ryan Reynolds and the little Jack Fedder that no one likes. Yeah, it's going to get wild. We're not going to give anything away. Sports teams. So there could be a run club. There could be some other things happening. You're going to love it. You're going to fucking love it. Right, next one. I've been watching Sharks Celebrity Infested. What in the dick fuck is that? Oh, I know. This is a new show. It's a new show. Shark Celebrity Infested Waters, which is all about facing your fears. What are your fears?

24:42So is it all about facing your fears or is it just about facing sharks, if that's your fear? It's about facing sharks. Okay, so it's not about just facing fears. No, it's just sharks. Okay, happily. You swim with sharks? Give me a pair of Speedos and a fucking camera and I'm in there. I would love to as well. It's one of my dream things to do. So is it mine? But I don't want to do it in a cage. so you can actually go to a place in South Africa where you have to go through this like two week training course where they show you how to move and that and walk so you can get in with Great Whites without a cage I know what that is and I am desperate to do it just off Seattle Island I would absolutely I would love to do it should we go together I would honestly love to do it I would love to do that it's been on my bucket list for as long as I can yeah and mine like genuinely like that to me is absolute fucking dream I'm not joking so the chance to do that for some sort of pony show I would absolutely fucking die at I would love to do it I've got a weird taste in my mouth since you sat on my face.

25:33I'm not even joking. I'm being deadly serious. So if you're listening to this, I kept jeans on. I didn't sort of like, I didn't teabag him or... I swear I can taste something.

25:50Why did you have your mouth open? Because I just thought that's what you do. But not to your mate in jeans. Yeah, I shouldn't have. It was so silly. Imagine if you did it. No, don't say it, please. Just inhale. Just inhale. What are your fears? Are you afraid of anything? What are your, like, height? No, not height. Do you know what's really... Small spaces, maybe. No. Do you know what... Have you seen those caving? Sorry, Carol. How many questions do you want me to answer? Sorry. Give me a fucking chance. All right, list them. In what order would you like the answers? Fucking hell. That was like a questionnaire scrambled into my head.

26:23What was the first question? I've forgotten it. It was 15 questions ago. What about closed spaces? No. Next. Have you ever seen those cave videos on TikTok? holding where it's mad where they go through these tiny cracks like this is called the devil's vagina and you can't and like it's got a 0.01 chance of survival and they're literally going i can barely breathe the only way i can go through is if i can barely breathe but i can do this video where i'm talking to you yeah it's mad though isn't it they i i annoyingly um and this is gonna sound like i don't really have any fears you're gonna die at some point it's kind of the way i look at everything That's why, like, any of the things that I, like, I just don't really have fear for things.

27:04But I just feel like if a great white shark took a leg off, you're not going to sit there and go, well, it was going to happen at some point. No, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. And the reason I say that is because I don't overthink. So until I'm in that position, it may be that I go and do fucking potholing and go, oh, I don't think that would bother me, and then get there and freak out. I don't know. Until you're in that position. But I can't, I genuinely can't think of something. Potholing for me. Would it? Oh, mate, those tiny little cables. Oh, I was saying that. I have got one thing.

27:28Go on, here we go. I bet it's going to be like turtles. Something really not far off. It's right. It can't be that bad. What was it? No, it's not bad. I'm just thinking, do I say this? Because I know what's going to happen. Yeah, the amount of people are going to message it. And they're going to get things through the letterbox. So I genuinely don't really feel fear. But there are things that really don't like it. I love animals. I've got one fear. it's kind of something I just, it makes me uncomfortable. You spit it out, mate. Fucking hell. So I love animals, but there is one animal that I genuinely, like they frighten me.

28:12I don't, I really don't like, I can't even look at a picture of a gorilla.

28:23Rarely am I speechless on this podcast. I feel like it's the other way around. I have never, ever thought that was going to come out of your mouth. Have you watched Planet of the Apes? I mean, yeah. The most frightening film in the world. I'm telling you now, I'm telling you now, they'll take over the world, right? And I promise, listen, listen, if they wanted to, if they wanted to, they would rip, rip, rip my arm off. Oh, they're strong. And then beat you with it. Absolutely not. So that's why, and really annoyingly, recently it's become worse because everyone keeps talking about 100 Men and a Griller.

28:55100 Men and a Griller. Well, it would be the gorilla, because they are frightening. What about chimpanzee? They're actually more aggressive than gorillas, and they're still fucking strong. It's not that. It's how human, like, there's just everything. I just think they know what I'm thinking. I just think they have a super, I just, they make me uncomfortable. Gorillas? Any monkey, any primate, or just gorillas? No, no, no, no, no, no. It's specifically gorillas. And it may be because I've, you know, I've never met one. So I don't know. And, again, it's probably similar to the fear thing, where I don't know until I'm in that position whether or not I'm scared of it.

29:27I may meet one and think, oh God, you're lovely. We're going to have to take you to the Congo. I want Pete. You know when you sit in the grass and the gorillas and the big bastard silverbacks come and waddle past you. And you sit there, everyone's fucking terrified. Yeah, it's just, yeah, I just don't, it just makes me a little bit uncomfortable. So that would be my thing. I'm so glad we got that. Yeah, and yours is small spaces. Small spaces. I mean, I'm scared of certain animals as well, to be fair. But like, yeah, not gorillas or anything like that. But I can see chimpanzees because they're fucking savage, mate.

30:01Yeah. They're cannibals, by the way. Yeah. Some are a lot of things. Yeah, it's terrifying. But for me, it's tiny little insects that can burrow into you. So I was filming for dog's sake and I heard about something called fly strike this week. Now, fly strike is serious. So we had some really unfortunate fucking dogs come in who were just in a really terrible state. So I had to shave them because they had a massive buildup of mats and fucking shit because they were little Maltese terriers. And the big risk in summer for things like that with a lot of dogs and a lot of animals is a thing called fly strike.

30:34Now, I assume that just meant flies just because of the smell and the shit and everything else. But what they do is they lay their eggs in the coats. They then hatch into maggots and the maggots eat the vehicle alive. So they literally bury it and start eating them alive. is that not just I've heard of that so I'd never I didn't know that's what fly strike I didn't realise it was that serious I thought it just meant it was like you know when you get the horses with the fucking thing I'd never heard of that but it eats them alive there's flies that burrow into people's eyes yeah there's that thing isn't there in like the Amazon where if you go in there and it swims up your cock up your penis and then it just fucking you can pee in the Amazon river and there will be a tiny little little insect like a like a wormy type thing yes a parasite it's a parasite that swims up your urine into your thing.

31:20And it goes round your intestine like fucking a big fucking thing and then just starts eating you from the inside out. So that's good for a staying relevant podcast. But that doesn't scare me because that, just don't piss in the Amazon. But this one... Whereas the gorillas will take over. You heard it here first, the gorillas. I can see that. They're very intelligent. I mean, it's the reason I don't eat dairy milk.

31:42I can hear it coming. Such an old reference. So this next one is something that I would put my weight behind for sure. And Pete, I need you on board with this. I need you to keep an open mind. Okay? Just think about it. Where's your summer party going to be? Could be a good one. Did a LinkedIn poll and everyone in the comments is saying that you should go to Harry Potter World. Excellent. Well, I hope you all have a lovely time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Have you ever been? What do you think? It is fucking magical, mate. Is it? it's like you wouldn't believe it's amazing that it's magical genuinely mate you can go onto the Hogwarts Express and sit on the seat but it's not real it doesn't move but you can go and sit on the seat excellent I can also go and sit on a bus or a train anywhere you can have a I'll get the fucking I'll get on the Lizzy line mate you can get a butter beer right I can also get a Guinness in a pub well this is just iron brew and cream actually so it's not even a beer no okay it's like jelly cats all over again so they're just lying so that's false advertising so I can sit on a train and drink iron brew oh fuck me nothing says summer has come let's celebrate like sitting on a train drinking fucking iron brew that doesn't move holding a wand and in a cape in 30 degree heat well it's interesting you say about the wand actually because you can also fly a broom and so you need a cape round you right and you don't fly it obviously but you sit well obviously yes because they don't exist you sit on a broom and this is something I'd really like to get Pete to do alright excellent I'll tell you what we do because this does sound wonderful but we can we'll recreate this i'll tell you what i'll jump on a train i'll ride a mop onto the train and have a pint of iron brew and then i've basically completed it and i how's that i'll put a fucking duvet around me fucking shoulders all right and i'll go whizzy woo abracadabra and then we're fucking done so the the the the broom thing though i think would be great for you because what you do is you sit on a broom right yeah that does sound great And they blow a fan at you, right?

33:45And you hold a wand and you don't move, but it projects you on this sort of like, as if you are flying and you basically can see it on a screen. And so it looks like you're flying out and you can really get into it and go, whoa. Amazing. And then wave your wand around. Funny enough, and do you know what? You know, it'd be great for you guys because you all love your fucking silly videos. We've got a fan there. We'll get a mop and we'll recreate it here. And then we ain't got a fucking gun. Not opposed to that. Job done. Because I tell you what I ain't fucking doing is going to fucking Harry Cunt World for a summer party.

34:19All right? You've got no chance. All right? You motherfuckers want to go, go. I'll see you in the pub after. But the summer party is booked and sorted now, I believe. Annalise? Or there and thereabouts. We have a date for it. And it will not be anywhere where I'll be telling you. Should we do a recce at Harry Potter World just in case? Well, you've already done the recce and you've told me about it. Yeah, so you've told me after the recce. So the recce's been done. You've told me about it. and what I've said is no. But I'd love to get him sorted as well. Let's get Pete sorted. It'd take longer than that to sort me out.

34:48Let's get Pete sorted. I bet it wouldn't even be Slytherin. I bet you'd be something really sweet like Hufflepuff. You'd be like a Ravenclaw. Yeah, excellent. Great. All right, we'll go there and we'll have a fucking, you know, a fucking sugar puff and a Whiteclaw. Happy days. Job done. A Whiteclaw. Well, whatever the fuck it is. I don't care. And you can have one last thing. You can have one battle with Death Eaters. Eh? You can have one battle with Death Eaters. What do I do? Just stab someone with a stick? No, but you hold a wand and you basically pretend like you're throwing spells at the deaf ears.

35:16But you don't actually throw anything? It's kind of like a dance, weirdly. Oh, amazing. It's like Jelly Cat all over again. It kind of is, yeah. No, it's not happening. Absolutely not. We'll put a pin in it. Well, apparently we're going to do a poll. Oh, we're going to do a poll! Do you know what's amazing is that this is how we're using LinkedIn.

35:34That's the thing that gets me. LinkedIn, you know, they're for connecting in a kind of a business environment. you know, networking, that sort of stuff. We're putting up polls about whether or not I should go to fucking Harry **** World. What a fucking joke. And do you know what? The results are in. And it's 95 % we should. Okay, excellent. So we are going to do a poll, by the way. So thank you so much for putting that in our stratosphere and we will definitely be thinking about it. Yeah, I've just taken it out of my stratosphere. Jesus, let's go now. Let's go. Thank you so much for listening to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode.

36:10with me, Sam Thompson and Peter James Wicks. If you want to feature in the podcast, then email hello at srproductions.co.uk or follow us on fucking Instagram and LinkedIn, where you can decide whether or not Sam goes to Harry Potter World. Make sure you rate-reviewed all of that crap. Follow us on the YouTube. We'll be back on Monday with the main episode. Goodbye, you bunch of slags. All lovely people, This has been a Staying Relevant production.

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38:34It's non-invasive, requires no prep, can be completed at home in about 15 minutes, and is 95 % effective. Talk to your healthcare provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. Hello, Relevanters! We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games all with fictional characters so prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas and possibly the genie from Aladdin we don't know yet we're sort of like undecided on that one that's an avoid for me that one genie I don't know I quite like it listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership