Pete exposes what influencers REALLY think...

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2:20Welcome to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode of a podcast hosted by me, Sam Thompson and Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph Wicks. Hello. This is the bonus episode, which means it's Thursday that this comes out audibly and you can watch it on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel for 5pm on Sunday and then Monday's main episode, which came out audibly. You can now watch as of 5pm last night, which was Wednesday on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel, which means you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. Missed that in the main episode. My God. My God, Thailand has changed me. He's not in it anymore.

2:57He's not in the game. I'm not in the game. If you don't like swearing, then don't listen and go fuck yourself because there will be lots of swearing in this. Make sure you rate, review, follow, fucking do all of that crap. If you want a feature in the bonus episode, which is generally all about you, then email the worst email address in the world, which is hello. Oh, at srproductions.co.uk. Wonderful. Shall we crack straight in with the correspondence? We've had some correspondence for Meg. Meg's gone, hello, Sam. Hey, Meggy, Meggy, Meggy. Hello, Sam and Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph, Wicks. This week in the news, I've seen that Ronaldo and Georgina, who's Ronaldo's wife now, are finally married.

3:38However, despite being together for over 10 years and having children together, he has asked her to sign a prenup. I'm interested to see what you boys think of this. fucking hell that's from Meg prenups where we are with them I think it depends on the situation I think a prenup is unnecessary for me because I have fuck all he's a billionaire yep he is I would suggest when you're a billionaire prenup probably wise he met her a little backstory do you know where he met her she was a store clerk she worked in Gucci yeah and obviously they've been together 10 years she's done real but pre that she was obviously working in good nothing wrong with working in retail but he's a billionaire yes they do have two kids i think their prenup actually says that he guarantees her a certain amount if they ever break up which is quite a lot of money anyway so i don't think it's like a prenup if we break up you'll have nothing i think he's agreed to loads of stuff including you can have he's actually signed over some of the houses already into how do you know this how out of all the things that like like what i like the fact that you've because you've had to do that on your phone.

4:47Yeah. So you've had to research that on your phone, which means like, you've like gone into like YouTube or like something. The evenings in Thailand were slow. Like, like, so tell us more about what Ronaldo's done with his wife. Didn't sleep a lot. Evenings were slow. So, so actually I think his prenup is very nice. Yeah. All right. Fair. So I think, you know, you hear prenup and it sounds awful, but I don't think his is that bad, but he is, he is obviously a billionaire. It's a toughie, isn't it? Like, let's say you're not a billionaire. Let's say you're just like, you're us, right? what are you doing if, because the problem is, I suppose, if someone comes to you, if my wife came to me and said, look, I want you to sign a prenup, I'd probably be like, oh, fuck, like, because on their side, she's probably thinking, oh, well, you don't think this is going to last then, and you're trying to protect yourself, and it starts off a sour note, but on the other side, I can also, I'm straight in the middle, so on the other side, if anything did happen to go wrong, the last thing you want to be doing is resenting for the rest of your life the fact that that person has taken however much they've taken.

5:56I think it genuinely depends on the relationship and the dynamic financially in the relationship. Because if you're a bloke and you've got fuck all and your missus has got money and a fucking house and all the rest of it, then why shouldn't she ask for the fucking prenup? but then again obviously if it depends on the the financial shift doesn't it and also pre-nups now and not i think we all look at pre-nups and go someone's trying to protect the money because they don't think it's going to fucking last but actually it might be a wiser decision based on the fact that if things don't work out there isn't any bitterness in a divorce and a breakup between who gets what if it's already pre-agreed when you're in a happy place i also think as well with prenups.

6:41That's my logical view. I think that I would agree with that and say that if you do the prenup, you take away any financial gain from that person being with you as well. Yeah, it kind of takes you back because, you know. It's just you guys. Relationships are not transactions. Exactly. You know what I mean? So maybe, actually, I don't disagree with them. But then it just depends on the situation. I can't give a definitive answer on that because it completely depends on the financial situation of the relationship. But I do think that actually in some cases it's probably a good thing, like you said, because it takes away the financial element of a relationship and a relationship should be built around love.

7:20Yeah, absolutely. But then again, you know, a lot of other people say, I don't think it's a right or wrong answer. No. And I don't think we're either, I don't know how well versed we are in the topics of prenup, to be fair. Good email, Meg. Yeah, I like that. Wrong podcast. Slightly different. Good email, wrong podcast. Darling, ask us whether we prefer sharks or bears and we've got you all day long. Ask us about prenups. What do you prefer, shark or a bear? I'm a bear man. Yeah, do you know what? I love a shark though. Sharks, listen, one of my favourite fucking, I'm most incredible. Shark week in that geo.

7:54Incredible. But personally, you know, I've swum with sharks and, you know, I've never seen a bear in the wild. You've never seen a bear shit in the woods? No Bobby Norris, have you? Is that what he says? It's literally, does a bear shit in the woods? Is the Pope Catholic? I mean, but you never see a bear shit in the woods. Does anyone see a bear shit? I don't. No, well, no. But, you know, I'm sure there have been people that have seen it. But unless you are following a bear around, you'd have to get him at the precise moment where he needs a dump. They're pretty private beings. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:26And then half the year, they're hibernating. Exactly. So, well, fucking hell. So, you know, yeah. Well, that was good chat. Email number two. Hello, Sam, Pete, and the team. I'm sure you've all seen the hype around the opening of Yochi, the Australian frozen yogurt company. People have apparently been queuing for up to two hours for the frozen yogurt. Will you two be joining the crowds and going to try it? I know Pete loves his ice cream and has a bit of a sweet tooth, so I thought it would be right up his street. If you did go, what would be your toppings? Lots of love, Susie. Well, Susie, no, I haven't seen the hype.

9:04I've never heard of Yochi. i i also actually haven't heard the hype but it sounds fucking i'm gonna suggest and and correct me if i'm wrong this is just australian snog i used to love a snog oh my god frozen yogurt is delicious now if you haven't heard the hype around snog susie that is a frozen yogurt company which i assume does the same thing as another frozen yogurt company i can't imagine there's a lot of diversity within the frozen yogurt company remit. You either get frozen yogurt or you don't. So, will I be cooing for two hours? Fuck no. Absolutely not. Not for anything would I be cooing two hours.

9:47So, you know, let's take that out of it straight away. I think that's utter madness, especially for frozen yogurt. Because by the time you get to the front of the queue, who even knows if you still want it? Oh, I do. Well, I do. Yeah, but at some point I can go, do you know what I fancy frozen yogurt? Two hours later, I might go, no. I don't want to. It's like being tired and then being at work and then getting home and going, I'm overtired now. I'm not tired anymore. So I don't know. So absolutely not would I queue two hours for any type of edible or drinkable substance. What would you get on top though?

10:24If you were, if let's say it wasn't a queue, what would you get on top of that? I don't know what toppings they do, but I'm going to take basic off snog. Yeah. Plain. What? So my snog order, and I do like a snog. So lovely. Plain. But I'd like a side of strawberries and kiwi, but in a separate pot that I eat separately. I don't like them to touch. So I would just have a plain snog because I think it is wonderful in its purest form. See, I hear you on the fruit. I hear you on the fruit. I love a strawberry on a snog. I would then go for a little bit of chocolate around that. Yes. Whipped all over it.

11:03And then some marshmallows on top of that. Oh, my God, some sprinklers on top of that. I mean, if there was any way to describe our personalities, what would your snog be? Because chaotic, I think too much going on there. Just caramel on there as well. See what I mean? It's too much going on. And then do you let it melt? I love it to melt. No, no, no, no, no. If you're going to order ice cream, right, okay, okay, okay, okay. So ice cream, as you know, is a big part of my life. you know frozen delights are something that I really appreciate but you have to eat them frozen that's the whole point so if you're gonna it's the same with cereal I like cereal that's why the milk goes in first what?

11:42you're mate that is wild work the cold milk goes in first no it doesn't you then sprinkle cereal on top and you eat it quick before anything goes soggy I like a crunch and I like the milk just to have a brief introduction to the cereal. That sounds like you're having cereal with your milk. Yes. Rather than cereal with milk. No, no, no. You sit down. Let's say I'm at the table. There will be a bowl of milk and the cereal will be next to me. I will then put on cereal intermittently through different bits until the milk is gone so that it stays crispy and hard because I don't want soggy cereal. And it's similar to ice cream.

12:23You eat it when it's frozen. That's why it's called ice cream. Otherwise, it's just cream. Yeah, but if you mix a bit of vanilla and choccy together. And you don't. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, yes. So if you are also, when you're looking at flavours of ice cream, just the one. You know this from Vegas. Yeah, but, mate, that's weird. When we went Vegas, we got, and I got two separate, because I couldn't decide between rum and raisin, which is my favourite, and mint. But you certainly wouldn't have them in the same tub. I'm not a psychopath. So I'd like to eat some rum and raisin. And then I'd have some mint just to cleanse the palate.

13:02And then go back to my rum. But you cannot have them together. You cannot mix ice cream flavours because then it dilutes and becomes a different thing. If I want mango, then I want it to taste of mango, not chocolate and mango. Because then one will always overpower the other because it's very difficult to get the balance right in terms of a flavour. And you want to party in your mouth. Yeah, you do. A celebration in there. I mean, look, from what I understand is that Yochi do like the weird and wonderful, like the salted butterscotch and matcha. And like actually brownie and cookie dough toppings does sound quite nice.

13:37But I've never been that guy who likes weird and wonderful things. I like vanilla and I like chocolate. Chocolate fudge brownies, the furthest I'll go. Like that is me. And then there's no further I would go from there. Have you ever had matcha ice cream? No. Not for me. Wonderful. No, mate, I don't even like matcha. It tastes like grass. Taste sensation. It doesn't. They get it from a lawnmower. Well, I'll tell you what I had recently. Guinness ice cream. That shit is fire. I just, that, I just, I can't, I can't go that far at all with ice cream. Can't do it. Refuse to do it. I didn't think that ice cream would be such a big divide between us.

14:19Yeah, this is the thing that's going to pull us apart. But I do take my frozen desserts quite seriously. I take any dessert quite seriously. Okay, now talk about frozen desserts then. You love an ice lolly. Yeah. Yeah, we've seen your freezer. Could you eat four Twister ice lollies at the same time, do you think?

14:45Explain to me the dynamic. You've got four Twister ice lollies, right? No, I've got that bit. How are you handling that? But are we all together? Yeah, all together. Well, no, because it wouldn't fit in my mouth. You've got quite a big mouth. After the moustache says me, you've got quite a big mouth. Not four. Full-size ones, because they do the little half-baby ones. Give us a little half-baby one, then. What are you doing with a little half-baby? I mean, they're still the same sort of girth. I think I could rack through. If you sort of put them between your fingers, like Edward Scissorhands, but it would be Edward Twisterhands, then I think I could...

15:18Get it up in there. You lick them. Do you have like a way you do that lick? I mean, I'm personally more of a sucker than a licker. Yeah. Of the ice lolly, you know. Everyone has their own way of doing it. Yeah. But I like to. Oh, okay. Rather than a. Okay, so not a licker, you're a sucker. Right. And how would you get. I mean, I have previously eaten a bottle. You got previous? I've got previous. I've previously eaten a box of Twisters. Yeah. But have you had them all? In one here. Could you take them? One after the other. I don't know. One after the other. Are we talking about, yeah, you could do one after the other.

16:01Just one and then bang, another one straight in. Well, no, because you have to stop and give yourself a minute to unwrap all the rest of it. So you need a break in between. Yeah, because you're not going to do all four at the same time. Yeah, some people love doing all four at the same time. No, you're not going to do all four at the same time. Why could you make people, I believe in you, you could do all four at the same time. No, because it's not an enjoyable experience at that point. Why is it not an enjoyable experience? Well, because logistically you're struggling. Why? Well, because that's...

16:28Too much one man. It's too much at once. Yeah. But if you pace yourself through it, you can get through more. Yeah, so true. So true. And do you know what, though? I hear you there. What time frame are we talking about then? If you could take it down... I don't think there's a time frame if you're enjoying it. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not like I have to have thought within five minutes. No, I hear you. You can, you know, spread it out as long. Mate, to be honest with you, it can take as long as you want it to take. Until you're full up. Yeah, exactly, mate. But to be fair, like how filled do you want to get, you know?

17:07Well, I hate, like anything, like that feeling of being full up is horrible. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it's quite a nice sensation. often when everyone's finished. No, no, it's not because you just, it's not because then you become lethargic and you're tired. That's such a good point. Do you know what I mean? Like I want to nap. You need to nap after, after four especially mate. Fucking hell. So if you're going to do, and I think you get six in a box. So you think you could take six down? Well, you wouldn't leave two like, you don't want to, do you know what? That's actually rude.

17:38You wouldn't leave two out. You know what I mean? So, so you know, you're going to finish what, whatever's there if you're going to do it. I can do it right. But if you, but if, yeah, like the feeling of being full up is just, it's tired, it's whatever else. Whereas if you take your time, it's like tapas, just picky bits. You just have a little bit of that, a little bit of that. Oh, I see what you're saying. A little bit of that. Dip into that, then you stay there, sir. Just come over here. But then if you want to, because I love a Twister. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, it tastes great.

18:05You want to savour the flavour. Yeah. I agree. So last question on this. I don't even know if this is going to get used or whatever, but like genuinely I'm now intrigued. If you had to fit them all in, in one, how many could you do? You've been greedy at that point. Yeah, you are. I think one, do you know what I mean? Like one is enough at a time. Any more than that and I think it becomes an unenjoyable experience. Unless you wait. Yeah, unless you wait. Have you got enough stuff about cocks? because this is the same as my arse on the wheelbarrow isn't it Pete we don't know what you're talking about I figured it out about half way through yeah I could tell he figured it out because he was giving such great answers I was just like yeah yeah he knows what he's doing but I believe you'll be able to clip that up into a lovely piece that makes it sound like that I love double dicking and cocks all around my face I mean this in all seriousness though Pete you couldn't take any penises no you could say one no even like a small one no okay fair enough This is a question that's come in for us.

19:13If you had to permanently smell like one food, what are you choosing and why? Are we going chicken tikka masala? Are we going some onion bhajis? Are we going for Mediterranean? Do you want to smell like some Serrano ham? Does that have a smell? It does. Hammy smell, yeah. Sweated meat. Oh, that's a tough one. Some clams. That's a really tough question.

19:43You got time? Okay. Got time. Have a think. Have a ponder. Let it ruminate. Just let it go.

20:03Coconut ice cream. Coconut ice cream. Now, I know we've just spoken about ice cream. I do love ice cream. But have you smelt coconut ice cream? Anything coconutty. Because it smells nice. And it's strong. It's pungent. You want to be pungent. You get a good whiff of coconut. When there's something in coconut, when there's coconut in food, you can always smell it. And it's not a bad smell. Some things that I love eating don't have a great smell. Like anything oniony, you don't want to smell like onions. Garlic quite nicely. But again, you don't really, if you think about it, when someone's eating garlic and you have to kiss them, you don't want to smell like garlic.

20:44You don't want to smell like onion. If you're going to smell of one food, you want it to be a fragrant, fresh, I'm going to go thinking coconut or citrusy. Lemon is a good one. Lemon drizzle cake smells fucking lovely. You know what I mean? Like that would be a nice thing because people go, oh, they wouldn't go, oh, fucking hell. and I think that's the thing if you're going to smell like something for the rest of your life you want people to go ooh not oh fuck me days of stinks you've always you like dousing yourself not so much anymore you used to douse yourself in fucking smells remember that we could tell where you were fucking 100 metres away you've you've you've taken that back a little bit now I can't smell you I don't know if I've taken it back or you've become immune to it because I don't I haven't changed my routine so I think maybe you've all become that's wild I have changed fragrance It's probably that then.

21:34Which is probably, I found one that I think. A little subtler. Well, it just suits my sort of natural odour a little bit better. So it's more of a grower rather than a punch in the face. You know, because previously, you know, it smells great, but it was a punch in the face. You could tell where Pete was from a fucking mile away. And you're like, oh, Pete's here. Do you know what mine would be, by the way? Kefir yogurt. Love the smell of a kefir yogurt. I don't think I've ever smelt kefir. What is kefir? Or garlic, genuinely. I'd love to smell like garlic. Yeah, but mate. I love garlic. Yeah, but if you think of it like it's other people's reaction to you, for the rest of your life.

22:12Yeah, bring it in, man. You smell like, yeah, but they wouldn't want to bring it in. Yeah, I don't know. I love the smell of garlic. I love the taste of garlic. I love garlic in almost everything. I have genuine, I have a bulb of garlic with every meal that I cook. Yeah, like, again, like the taste is great. And when you're, but if you wait, but just imagine waking up in the morning, and your poor missus waking up in the morning and rolling over and you smell like garlic. We've been there before, actually. We have. She's been like, you, your bread. Why, where was the bulb that time? Oh, mate, we had prawns the night before and I'd obviously brush my teeth and stuff, but it really stays.

22:46If you have a bulb of garlic, it's like that big. Especially the way you burp. Well, this is the thing, man. Yeah, so I have actually had that. But I love a smell. Garlic and parsley. Parsley. Parsley's a nice one, actually. All right, good question. That's a great question. Okay, next one. Oh, this is going to be a fun one. What's the most overrated thing that everyone pretends to enjoy? E.g. Aperol Spritz. Matcha.

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24:32Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start. I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly. I recently had a last-minute health issue pop up and I needed to see someone fast.

25:07Instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZocDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes. It made the whole process so much less stressful. Now, taking care of your health just got easier. download the ZocDoc app today that's ZocDoc Z-O-C-D-O-C and book that appointment on your to-do list

25:32knew you were gonna say that I just I would I would semi-agree I actually don't mind matcha I don't hate it but it's just it's just I do think it's now just no it if you get good matcha There is a big difference between good matcha and shit matcha. There's a huge difference. But I do think, people, it's become a personality. You don't like it that much. It's a nice drink, but, you know, you don't like it that much. It's just because it's visually appealing on your fucking Instagram. Oh, yeah. Do you know what you do? You don't even like the taste of matcha because you put the vanilla syrup in it.

26:11It just tastes like fucking vanilla. because we all hate the taste of matcha. No one likes matcha. Good matcha and bad matcha. We could just do a matcha mixer. I've got another one. Where we get some different mixers, different matchers. Allo gym. Allo gym. Is that gym wet or is the actual gym? It's just a gym that all these influencers go into. It's a gym, mate. It's the exact same. People are queuing around the corner, go to the fucking allo gym. and it's like you can't enjoy queuing to go and do Pilates in the Allo gym. Christ. Like, yeah, mate, they're queuing around the fucking corner. You have to, like, there's like a bouncer.

26:55Mental. I'm enjoying this. Give me some more. Yeah, what do people pretend to like? Really unleashed, man. Cold plungers. I used to, I was in the phase of a cold plunge. I used to swear by a cold plunge. Turns out I was far cool for you. I'm going to say this about the cold plungers. again, they're good. I don't mind a cold plunge, but you don't enjoy it. You don't get in it and go, oh, amazing. You go, oh, fucking hell, fucking hell. But this is good for me, so you do it. And when you get in a routine, but I don't, but I don't see a lot of people saying they enjoy it. Oh, there was a big fad.

27:30But do they say they enjoy it? They're doing it. And a lot of people are doing it, but they're still like, oh, fucking hell, fucking hell, this is hard. I don't see anyone going, oh, I love a cold plunge. And if you are saying that, you're a fucking liar it's turned out that it doesn't actually really have many at all health benefits and like you know when people sit there but like i i knew early on p i'm gonna put out i'm just gonna throw it out there i knew pretty early on i did the cold plunge and i dunked my head and came out and i went i'm gonna feel fucking amazing i went but you do for five minutes because it wakes you up didn't even feel that good and i was like i just i'm i'm freezing my tits off feeling about a pass out and i was like i don't feel like this has helped my health at all and like but i kept on doing it because it was the fad that everyone was doing.

28:11I was such a sucker for that shit. And now I've realised that Cole Planch is a bunch of shit. No one cares. Actually, brand trips. There you go. Oh, brand trips. I understand. I've made best friends for life. You all hate each other. You fucking hate each other. You can't stand each other. You know what I mean? Like, let's look, me and the girl, and we're off to dinner, and we're just having the best time. You fucking hate the bitch. Mate, dude, do you know what? I walk around, how much do I say? gigs everyone go into different gigs at the O2 or fucking this and that and the other oh in the game we had such a good time and I love country music I'll tell you alright I'll give you another one this industry a premiere worst I don't go to them refuse to go to them it doesn't matter if you like the film it's fucking I had such a good time at the premiere last night no you didn't because you queued up at the fucking Odeon in Leicester Square for a fucking hour there were actual big stars there no one gave a fuck about you but you had to get your picture in front of the fucking board.

29:07You then sat inside and watched a film in a tuxedo, you cunt. You're sweating your teeth off. Nothing worse. So no. And you barely watched a film and half of you left before the film started because you'd done your pictures. So I had the best time. No, you didn't. You lying piece of shit. Last question. And I think you're going to enjoy this one. Yeah, go on. Just a little blow there. Yeah, so I was getting a bit of hair just mouling still. Okay. What animal do you think is secretly the biggest dickhead? I've got one. Good, straight in. Spider monkey. Niche. And I'll tell you for why, right? I'm a tiger.

29:54I am hunting my prey. Okay, so just to... If I'm a tiger, it's spider monkey. Okay, set in the scene. So this isn't the animal that you think is secretly the biggest dickhead. This is the animal that you secretly think is the biggest dickhead if you were a tiger. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm hunting my prey and those bastards are letting my prey know that I'm there miles in advance. So it's a grass. It's a grass, completely grass. And if I say for humans, a baboon. So snitches get stitches on these spider monkeys if you're a tiger. And if you're a baboon, you're a bastard. So as you personally, as a human, baboon.

30:30Yeah, baboon. Why? Mate, they come into, when we were in South Africa, they used to come into the house and steal things from the gaff. Thiefs. Can't fight a baboon, mate. They're fucking massive. Aggressive. Mate, their canines are enormous. So you just got to let him steal from you, man. Like that, how shitty that is. Okay. So the two we've gone with, it's spider monkeys because they're fucking grasses. Yeah. And a baboon. And a baboon because it's a thief and a bully. And they'll lick you in the eye and they'll do it anyway. Thief and a bully. Yeah. And we don't like thieves and bullies. And we also don't like grasses.

31:00Yeah. All right. Actually, I think you've answered that pretty well. I'm going to be honest with you. Don't like them. Yeah, mine's a dolphin. Oh, you can't hate dolphins. No. Love dolphins, magical creatures, but they are... They know what they are. They are manipulative. They're intelligent. They're arrogant. Oh, look at me. I'm a dolphin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They fuck for fun. They're wind-up merchants. They are quite annoying, I think. They laugh at you. They laugh at you. So for me, dolphin, because we all go, I love dolphins. I love dolphins. And they're literally going, yeah, damn right you do.

31:37I'm like, I know you love me. I'll do what I fucking want. Why? Because I can. All right? I hear you. I'll tell you what, I'm a dolphin. I'll do what I want. And I'm going to do that next to your ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll show you a bit of me, but not all of me. Not all of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll keep you wanting more. And then, do you know what I mean? Just arseholes, I think. Ants. I like an ant. Nah, do you know what? because like I don't think but are they secretly a dickhead because I don't I'll tell you for why but are they secretly they steal the thunder from termites yeah but termites do all the work listen to this but it's secretly a dickhead I think most people would say an ant is a dickhead if you're a termite you're sitting there going you bastards I'm going to go koala can give you chlamydia exactly but everyone everyone's like oh koalas they're so cute and they're so cute whilst they're giving you a disease I mean I don't think you can actually contract chlamydia from a koala unless you fuck it.

32:30It comes from their eyes. But also koalas are quite grumpy. They are. So they're not as everyone sees because you see these horrendous places where you can hug a koala and they use them for fucking shit. And everyone goes, oh, they're so fucking lovely. They don't want to be hugged. But everyone goes, oh, they're so cute koalas. And you see, you can buy little teddies koalas because they're so cute and little teddy dolphins. Both, bit of a c**t. Another one, sloth. Oh, sloths are so lazy. You don't like slow things. It's not slow. It's that we've made them out to be these cute fucking lovely things.

33:04Have you seen a sloth's fucking claws? Yeah, they can do your own. That **** will gouge your fucking face off. Right? But because we see the people and they're so cute as sloths, it'll kill you. It'll kill you if it wants to. They can catch you. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And they're not as slow as you think. I mean, they're pretty slow. They are slow. But if you sit near a sloth, then it wants to go, fuck you. Well, on that note, what about a panda? Fucking panda, mate. I won't have anything bad. Pandas can't be dickheads because they spend too much of their lives and their brains are just...

33:37Sitting, eating, eating. No, just working out how to stay alive. Pandas are moronic. Have you ever seen a panda? They just fall off things. They just don't know what they... In the wild, pandas quite often, one of the biggest killers of pandas, is falling off. they live in trees and they just forget they're in a and fall pandas are idiots but I don't think they're dickheads but imagine being a panda and being like mate I'm a bear and everyone's like oh look at that I'm a fucking bear yeah I do I do get what you're saying piss off I don't think they're intelligent enough to be a dickhead so you don't think they know I think they're too busy struggling on working out whether they should be holding on or rolling off a cute fact about pandas when they're sad they go and climb a tree to the top and will sit on their own until they're happy again.

34:29I love a panda. I don't think you can be a dick. I just, you know, here's an animal that I think everyone thinks is a dickhead but actually isn't. Snake. Oh yeah, I'd agree with that. Do you know what I mean? They're not out to get you. No, I like snakes. They're fucking magical. Yeah. You know, I like this question. I think there's so many we can delve into. You could carry on here for ages. Stick insects. Dickheads. No. Oh, you can't see me. You can't see me. You can't see me. He's getting by. Fuck off. Toads. No, no, not poison toads. All right. A toad, I would say, yeah. Frogs are nice. Frogs are nice.

35:07But toad. A poison toad, mate. You don't expect it. No, no. Let's go specific. A tree frog. A tree frog. Poisoned. But beautiful. Aren't they poisonous? You just want to touch it. But they're beautiful. Come here. Now you're dead. See, you're fucking dead. Here's another one. And I don't know if they're secretly. Geese. I like a goose they attack they chase swans swans beautiful creature yeah yeah fuck you up a swan oh mate they're next I'll tell you what they break fucking limbs do you think you could take a swan no mate I think I could take a swan they will fuck me up man no I could take a swan it would be a battle but I think I could do one no mate seagulls but everyone they're just but they're notorious that's not even secretly yeah but I also no they're fucking pricks I like a seagull Have you ever had your food nicked by a seagull?

35:56Because if you haven't, you don't understand. No, but I sort of rate it. No, but they're aggressive, mate. No. But they're openly like, yeah. No, because it's actually rude. Mate, I've been, I've been, I've had chips before. This is not even in England. This is in Australia. On Bondi Beach, I've had chips before. And it's swooped down, not given a shit, mate, and just ripped the entire thing away. And then, and then, not flown, he's literally walked with my entire thing that's strewn over the sand walked about five metres away and stopped and eating the chips in front of me. Did you grab it by the beacon head by it?

36:32Nah, it's too small, too nimble. Too nimble. Too nimble. And it didn't come at me like that it came from my food. But like just mate if you've ever known anyone Yeah but it was goading you. They goad. And crows as well. Crows are little baskets. No, no, no, no. They're too intelligent. Majestic. No, because they freak me out. They're too intelligent. Majestic animals. And actually I think crows when you look back at it, again, seen as a dark bird, a lot to do with magic and all that sort of stuff. Ravens. But quite often, what you'll find is they're protected. I'm here for a crow. I think in the sort of dark arts of life, I enjoy a crow.

37:05Very intelligent, a crow. Yeah. They can actually, they can unpick, unlock things and stuff. They're mad. Yeah, I don't know. Their brains are so small so I don't know how they do it. That's also a bit worrying. So how did they, you are so minute when it comes to a brain. how are you doing this? What are you thinking when you look at me and they look at you with one eye and so like they look at me and there's just this one dude with a beady eye looking at you like that and you're like I just fucks me up man yeah I don't like it. Well I mean that again great question there. Brilliant. If you can take anything away from this it is don't look a crow in the eye.

37:46In the one eye. Odin's Ravens.

37:54I immediately looked at Josh, knowing that he would know that man. Oh. Bye.

38:05Thank you so much for listening to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode with me, Sam Thompson and Peter James, Jonathan Joseph Wicks. And if you want to feature in this podcast, email hello at srproductions.co.uk. Ta-ra. Adore you. Till next time, bitches.

38:26This has been a Staying Relevant production.

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41:10Hello, Relevancers. we wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.