Pete gets ROASTED for his jelly shoes

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1:37Welcome to Staying Relevant, an award winning podcast hosted by two best friends, me Sam Thompson and Peter, James, Jonathan Joseph, Jeremiah Jezariah Wicks. That was that was embedded in a sort of anticlimactic clap weak clap that I will be swearing if you don't like it go f*** yourself he occasionally swears sometimes if he's trying to act cool

2:06this is bonus episode which means it's Thursday you'll be able to watch this on Sunday on Josh's YouTube channel and Monday's main episode which came out audibly you can now watch visually on Josh's YouTube channel because it came out last night which is Wednesday which means that you can catch us on a Monday Wednesday Thursday and a Sunday yes that is correct rate review do all of that sort of stuff follow blah blah blah blah this is the bonus episode which means that is majority majority majority of it is you the majority of it is you yes that's correct thank you I had a malfunction for a minute if you want to be part of this then email hello at srproductions.co.uk which I still fucking hate.

2:53You didn't do it how you normally do it. I'm just trying to, I'm trying to say no. Hello. To see if I can find it less annoying. Hello at srproductions.co.uk. And we actually have people who have done that. There's emails there. We've actually got, well, we got our first email and actually it's not even to us, which is maybe slightly rude. It's from Lauren and it's to our producer Pippa. Good evening, producer Pippa. I'm a huge arts, design, fashion DIY and photography lover. We're on Jack of all trades. And in the background, Master of Fuck All, I was listening to the previous episodes of The Boys, making me laugh and chuckling as long as I was in the room.

3:32Then I was shocked to hear the podcast PO box had been closed. It has. I swung around in my chair to face the television as I was personally bedazzling an eyepatch for Pete. Oh, yes. Please let me know if you'd like me to pop this in the mail to you. If not, it could be retired to my arts and craft shelf. See you at the O2. Love you all from Lauren. What an email. Lauren, we're so sorry to make you aghast like that. The PO box is closed, but I think we should make an exception. That's just me. I think we should have a bejazzled eye patch on Pete Wicks for next week. It's incredible how Sam makes these decisions for me.

4:17So as it is obviously a gift me and my wandering eye what I'm going to say is pop it on your shelf well send it in we'll have a look yeah you can have a look and you can wear it I'll have a look and just for the record Lauren I feel bad that the PO box is closed but the main reason for that is that people were just sending us utter shit but what you've done here is sent us some utter shit so that is precisely why the PO box is closed because, I mean, we can't have any more drawings. And we've got a couple in the office where I look like a thumb or Sam looks like he's melting. Like, it's utterly mind-blowing that some of you have sat there and actually even done them.

5:05Like, get a fucking life. Do something with it. Sit there drawing cartoons because they're bad cartoons as well. It's not even like you've got a talent, all right? So that's why we've closed the PO box. So Pete has, I don't know whether you know this, but Pete has a daughter called Olive. And I think we can get a real glimpse into, a real glimpse into what happens when Olive comes back from art class. Yeah, but the difference being is that Olive will be full of talent. Okay, what happens if, okay. So if you don't know, Olive is Pete's make-believe daughter. And I just do throw something in there.

5:39Do you ever, if she came back from art class and a drawing, a really sheer drawing, like what are you being honest with her are you going to be like oh my god let's go straight on the fridge prior to place are you even a fridge magnet kind of guy to be fair no who has fridge magnets uh everybody with kids olive brings home a really nice thing but you look like a fucking thumb it looks really bad what are you saying she's eight she's old enough it's shit shit well eight you know what i mean you should be able to like roughly get something okay right Pick up, pick something else. Go, go on. Go play with a pony.

6:17You're good at that. Okay, ready? Here we go. I'm Olive. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. Olive would never speak to me like that. Okay, fine. But you're just not looking at me. Daddy, I've written this. Because you're not Olive. Okay, go on. Yeah. I've drawn this picture. It's of you and me holding hands. But look, in your head, like you genuinely look like, you look like a starfish. What do you think? What would I say? Yeah. I don't think art's for you, darling. what do you mean i love it well if you enjoy it just do it but just don't bring it home you can stay at school maybe pick up something else cooking or horses or sport or something just not not for you if more kids got told that then they wouldn't be sending adults wouldn't be sending me shit in the p.o box but the problem is they were enabled by their parents going that's fucking great that is.

7:09I've always had a thing for art. You fucking haven't. So actually it's kind of trickling down in like a pyramid scale. Absolutely, yeah. No, Olive, you know, I don't think she'd be an artist. I'm not very creative so I don't think Olive, you know, I don't think creativity is genetic but I don't think she'd be great. God, you know, I'd love to know what you'd be like at sports day. Listen, my child will have as hard enough time as it is having me as a father let alone when all of her friends see that I'm a loser. You know what I mean? It's okay for her to know it but if you're going to put yourself up for a father's day race you've got to fucking win it surely so i've actually i've been to a couple of these because i've been to them with my nephew leo and um the the kind of dads who run in these races pete like you would hate you would they get really competitive and like they think they're really like cool i could imagine you rocking up to the start line of these fucking 100 meter dashes with all these dads who like like trying to flex on like everyone else and I just, I would love to see you in that position.

8:09But I imagine they're probably that, you know, Olive will probably go to a slightly different school where the people will be slightly different to that. They'll be used to running from the police where Olive goes to school. So I imagine they'll all just be at the start. They probably all went to prison together, I imagine, in Olive's school. I can't wait, actually. Because when Rose, who's my kid, and Olive go to school together, because Pete's making a fair amount of wonga, you know? So I feel like Pete's going to be sending his kid to private school. No, no, no, no, no. No, absolutely not. Because I would just hate for them to turn out like private school kids do.

8:42Yeah, but mate, imagine Rose and Olive like at the same school. She'd just go to a normal school. Yeah, fucking loving life. Parents evening, Olive's a real issue. Yep. But I quite like that. I'd want her to have a bit of a shit. As long as she was clever. Not like beating people up or stabbing people at school. That'd be a bit much. You know what I mean? but like just, you know, you want her to be a bit of a shitter, didn't you? What about Rose? How do you want Rose to be? How do I want Rose to be? I want Rose to be a really sweet young girl who's actually got a little bit about her as well because she's learned from Olive and they're best friends and she's actually got a little bit of tenacity to her as well.

9:21At any point, because we've been talking about Rose and Olive for about months now, is it starting to become sad because we are too 30 plus? I was going to say, I'm getting broody. I'm actually getting broody. I want kids. Do you feel the same way? No, no, no, no. No, not at all. I just think we're two 30-plus-year-old men who keep talking about the imaginary kids when we can't even hold down a girlfriend. So at this point, it's starting to become a slight, slightly sad, you know? We can hold down girlfriends. We don't have them now, but we can do it. I mean, I've never done it. I've had a few years.

9:59Yeah. Next year, it's female. I think I should read this one as well, Pete. Sorry, but it is about you. So I kind of want your reaction here. Cool. Hi, boys and team. Couldn't not pop a message into the pod. Long time listener and lover of you both since the beginning. Although, Pete, I have discovered a new Pete. Ick. Photo attached. What on earth are those toddler-like jelly shoes that featured in Pete's job in Cannes? They instantly made me feel a little bit sick in my mouth and pray that this was stylish choice and not Pete's. I hope Pippa and the SR girls agree. It's a hard no and they need to be burnt immediately.

10:36Oh, Sam, the glow up is glowing. You look hot and the confidence and happiness shines from you. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. Cannot wait to see you in September of the O2. In better footwear choices, pick below from Jasmine. God, how are the turntables? Fuck me, I've never had that. Listen, I love them shoes. I was in Cannes, they're fisherman sandals and they look fucking great. What's a fisherman's sandal? That's what that is. Yeah, but like, give me an explanation of why they called fisherman's sandals. Because fishermen used to wear them back in the day. But yeah, it's just the style. And they're actually quite expensive and oily.

11:16But you know, I will say this. I feel like a beach footwear is quite hard to come by. But it's not, they're not beach footwear. They're a closed toe holiday shoe. So they're closed toes. They're not jelly shoes. No, they're not jelly shoes, no. No. But listen, I have made some suspect fashion choices in my time. Would you class that as a suspect fashion choice? Absolutely not, no. And obviously, because I know Jasmine is such a stylish cat herself. So, in fact, it was here at the O2, so I'll give a shout at the O2. In fact, Jasmine, why don't you style me? That's a better idea. Get Jasmine to send in what she thinks I should wear.

12:01God, that'd be great. There you go. And then we'll go and buy it and we'll see. Yeah? And she can style Sam. Jasmine can style us both. Since she is the new Anna Wintour, she can do that for both of us then. Yeah? Anna, it's a deal. How do you feel about them shoes, Sam? How about your shoes? I like them. I think they're great. Two bigger pulls there. I think they're great. Why don't you ask your girls? I like the buckles. Ladies, what do we think about your shoes? No comment. It's a no from... No? No comment. I really like them. To be fair, no one else did there either.

12:49But you're sticking to your guns, mate. But I'm doubling down and they're very comfortable. You're going to buy them in every colour now. I have got them in another colour. But you know, some of us are glowing up. Some of us are glowing down. Yeah, mate, I said this to you. You look hot and the confidence and happiness shines from you. I am hot right now. I'm so sweaty. So I completely agree with that, that you look hot. It's the second part which makes me think Jasmine isn't a reliable source. The confidence and happiness is shining from you. What was it? happiness i would agree with because you're a lot happier than were this time last year um confidence no yeah still lacking on that yeah yeah i don't think that's shining through yet yeah still needs welcome maybe a few more emails like this we'll just boost it up a couple more comments about the mullet tell him it's nice i feel like i'm doing that fucking silly trend yeah oh my god yes i've got it we should do that we should show that a trend i've got a friend who's going to show you his plant collection, you better fucking like it.

13:57I've got a friend who's got a mullis and you better go and tell him you love it. Have you actually noticed, since she's mentioned your glow up and all the rest of it, have you noticed a change? No. In the way people treat you? Not at all. Not one bit. No one slides into DMs. We still going with this narrative? Right. Question time. Question time. Oh, we love a question time on this podcast. and we love you. Go on, Pete, take us away. Hey boys, what with Glasto being talk of the town, hypothetically, what would you do if the tent next to you played music all night and wouldn't stop? How would you handle the situation?

14:36Oh my God. See, this is a thing, by the way. I don't know if you've actually heard about this, but like there are people who do all-nighters and they are off their tits and they literally play music all night so you just cannot get to sleep. What are you doing? Can't beat them, join them. nah nah nah but they're looking they're being rowdy as I said piss is flying around in bottles oh no well that's different he said playing music playing music fucking I mean you're at Glastonbury it's a festival if someone throws piss at me I'll do time point blank I will do time okay let's let's just imagine let's put ourselves in this position okay there's a tent next to you and there's a couple of rugby lads from Leeds and and and they they're playing loud music, they're pretty fucked up.

15:24And they've heard that Pete Wicks in the tent next to them. And one of them, like Humphrey, has pissed in a bottle and he's thrown it at you and it has gone on you. What are you doing? Time. No, but how are we doing time? How are we getting to you doing time? Well, I would hope that it's a glass bottle of piss because it will go straight through his jugular. Oh my God.

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17:14I'll just take it to the face now. Fucking. Oh, man, I wish me and you were actually going to Glastow because there's so much that I'd want to do there with you. Well, we wouldn't have a chance because we would have been on a bus and going to a brunch and fucking, there was absolutely no time in the Glastow itinerary. You know what I mean? We wouldn't have even seen any fucking music down at the prison stage.

17:41Kira, let us know what it's like. Oh, my God, so good. What would you do if people were playing noisy music next year? Next year, I'd be quite annoyed because I do like a bit of sleep. So I would be a little bit annoyed. I'd probably send you out. Okay, excellent. So we're just, again, so I'll answer that hypothetically again. It's good to have that back and forth. Well, I probably would. I feel like I'd probably be like, Pete, do you mind just telling them to be quiet? Okay, so I'm not with you. Oh, God. Because there is occasionally, Sam, things you're going to do on your own. Oh, God. I'm terrified.

18:14If I'm not with you and you're with your other mates. I'd probably just have to grin and bear it. I don't think I can hack it. I don't like confrontation. Honestly, I'd be like, guys, you do you. But also, you do really like sleep. And I know what you're like when you haven't slept. So it would ruin your entire experience. It really would. It would ruin everything. But you still wouldn't say anything. I couldn't. I just hate confrontation. Can't do it. Can't do it. you would say something. What would I say? Can you shut the fuck up? And they'd be like, shut up, Sam Thompson. I've seen you on Main Chelsea.

18:49You're like fucking Gollum. Just assume they knew who you was. That's a really good point. Just assume they knew who I was. If they didn't know who I was, I'd be, I'd feel a lot more inclined to be like, shut the fuck up. Okay. All right. But what's holding you back is that you're famous. It would just, I would just, it would eat me up inside. Okay. All right, fine. Eat me up. Right, go on, you can go next one. What are your plans to maintain award-winning status? Plans for the year ahead? This must be a fresh question. Fresh off the press. To be honest with you, judging by today, I think this could be the last.

19:26We sort of, we hit the heights. And I think it's good to retire whilst you're at the top. Well, no, we're going to fart in a jar. And that's why we're retiring at the top. if it goes any further downhill than it already has. More trips. We want to do more trips away. It's just going to be more of the same, isn't it? But it seems to work, so we'll just do it. I don't think that... How do you become a... Can you be a double champion at the trips? Can you... I don't think I've ever seen it in all the years of the trips. It's doable. So are we going to try and defend the crown next year? Oh, my God, if we defend the crown.

20:07Because there are podcasts just popping up all over the place. You know, we've got to be at the forefront of things. And I'll be honest with you, so far today in the brainstorming, what we've had is fart in a jar. So I think if we are going to be competing on a level with all these other podcasts, we probably need to look outside the box. Look outside the jar. We beat Davina McCool with farting in a jar.

20:32It's utterly... Begin again. like your new life and like and how we see it and all these lovely quotes and we just The Trick Awards podcast of the year I'm gonna fart in a jar and I'll get you to smell it next to it do you think I'm gonna still smell fuck me um yeah so do you know what I don't know I don't know what we're gonna do we have got some some exciting shit happening we do we really really do listen no one else is is fucking doing the O2 yeah exactly and also no one else has gone to Tala with the team yeah Sam will be living off that for some time now no one else gone Jelly Cat Cafe what is your next outing for the team well I don't know because I think this could be now a series no I reckon we'll just take it down maybe a couple of mimosas we'll see where we go you know oh so now you're going back to the drinks which is what I suggested which was shit what else will you do for your girls I don't know I'll ask the girls we'll get together we'll you know get our heads together we'll see where we like to go you know what about like a little All like sort of pyjama party together.

21:34You can all watch Mean Girls, get some popcorn. I do actually love Mean Girls, I'm going to be honest with you. Do you know what I mean? White chicks as well. So maybe, and I've heard Primark do wonderful pyjamas. They do. They do, see? So you could take them all to Primark. Then you can all pop round Sam's and have a pyjama party and watch Mean Girls. I actually would love that. I'm not even throwing that out there. I would genuinely love that. And whilst you're doing that, don't you worry. You're my boy. I'll take you for a Capri Sun. Do you know what? That's what we're going to do next. It takes us to the next height.

22:04We are going to do, we're going to do a sleepover. We're fucking not. We are, we're going to do a sleepover. We're fucking not, mate. Yeah, we are. Mate, I'm telling you now, you fucking enjoy yourself. Us and the team. I'm not doing it. Yeah, we are, we are. Sam. We're going to commandeer a sleepover. Are we going to commandeer it now? Yeah, we're going to commandeer it. Excellent. I'd just like to point out that some of the team probably aren't quite used to us yet and you've effectively just told them you're going to commandeer them for a forced sleepover. It's not forced. I have to turn up.

22:35Okay, great. So you tell us when the sleepover is and then tell us how it was because none of us will be there. Because if you don't have to turn up, what makes you think any one of us... I'll buy the pyjamas. Oh, fuck me. I mean, bear in mind, I think they can all get pyjamas. You're going to have to do better than that. Why would they want to come for a Sam Thompson sleepover? We'll camp. We'll camp. or go camping in the park. Go camping in the park? Who's up for camping in the park for the next Sam and his girls' day out? Do you know what I've just forgotten? Josh, I mean, you look itching to jump on this.

23:11Do you know what I've just remembered, Pete? It's just before I went on the jungle when we were meant to go camping together. Did anyone else see this? No. Did you see this, Bimba? Yeah. Me and Pete were meant to go camping together to get me used to the jungle experience. And we went to camp in what was like Batsy Park or something. No, no, no, no, no. I'll tell a story. Pete got really excited. No, I'll tell you the story because you've got to go from the start. With a tent. Which is that Sam wanted to kind of get a bit rough and ready and fucking camp and all the rest of it. So he decided we should go to Go Ape.

23:51I turned up with a full sort of camping bag with everything in it and everything that you need, including hiking boots to walk up King's Road after Go Ape, where we were supposed to be camping. I genuinely thought we were actually going to be doing it, so I bought all the fucking stuff for Sam to then say, oh, no, we're just going to do it in the garden. And I went, what? She said, we're just going to do it in the garden. and I said, I'm not setting up a tent on your AstroTurf slash patio in the fucking garden. You said we were going camping. I had bought, I was wearing thermals because it was sort of about October time.

24:32I was wearing thermals. So I then said, I did get pissed off because I'm not going to sit in your fucking garden, Sam. Like, this is fucking ridiculous. I'll go home then. But I had moved all of my work as usual and fucking done things, which meant that I then couldn't get back. it was it so in the end uh the compromise was we'll go and camp in the park which is just over the roads from his house um so i then think all right fine it we'll do that then um we then go over there he makes me put up the tent um including blowing up the sleeping bag um because it was one of them them them kind of ones he does a little video with ted and then he goes right i'm off home then so i had to pack away my sleeping bag that was one of the best days of my life i don't do you remember we had an axe yeah we had an axe um there is one more there is one more thing that's been sent through to us has been seen the recent video of him dancing in can it's bad please react on socials i do know what you're all talking about and it's um highly hilarious i wasn't dancing in can but there is a performer there isn't there looks exactly like well it's just a bloke with long hair but i've been i have been tagged in it uh about a thousand times yeah he's wearing a jock strap as well isn't he um he's quite he's quite undressed yeah um but i have seen it i just want to confirm it wasn't me i i was in can in my jelly shoes um and uh but no jock strap just jelly shoes no jockstrap i'll maybe take that next time but yes i have seen it basically anyone with long hair i get tagged in and people think the video is so good it's you doing like a pirouette on the on a on a ring yeah yeah i um obviously but it's not me i wish i had that sort of level of talent if i'm honest with you but we saw during strictly that i don't um anyway if you haven't seen it, Google it as well.

26:30You can't see it, so Google it. Go on then. Shall we fuck it off? Thank you so much for listening to Staying Relevant with me, Sam Thompson, Peter James Wicks, the dancer that is and the camper that we love. To feature on this podcast, email hello at srproductions.co.uk and subscribe and follow so you're the first to know of each new episode. Please rate us five stars. Please leave a review. We are an award-winning podcast now. Follow us on all the socials. Oh, God, we can't do that after every episode now. Follow us on all the socials at Staying Relevant Podcast. Oh, no. Subscribe to us on YouTube because we're actually really close to 100 ,000 on YouTube as well, which means that our plaque is fucking incoming.

27:14And that's what we'll do the sleepover to. Yeah, we'll have our plaque party and there'll be a sleepover. That's nice. I think that'll be cool. This has been a Staying Relevant production.

27:28At QVC, shopping is more than just checking out. It's discovering something new every day. Start with today's special value. Then explore exciting finds across the brands and categories you love. From beauty and fashion to home, culinary and outdoor living. Shop now at QVC.com.

27:57This January, Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship takes over the ocean. The inaugural Brews Cruise sails from Miami to the Bahamas aboard the Norwegian Jewel. Three straight days with pool deck bare knuckle fights in the Caribbean. Massive parties, beach events, DJs, cigars, tequila tastings, and non-stop action. The lineup reveals coming soon. Cabins are disappearing fast, and the prices won't stay this low. Reserve your spot with just$200 down at BKFSEA.com. Hello, Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music.

28:38We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. and possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.