Pete is engaged?!

0:00Most women have been there. Something feels off. You don't feel like yourself. Yet your doctor says everything looks fine. Spoiler, it's your hormones. Midi is a virtual care platform built for women by women and offers specialized hormone care from trained clinicians. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you. It's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home.

0:36From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Losing weight can feel like a roller coaster. Full of ups, downs, and being thrown for loops. Like when someone brings donuts into the office. Or your kids' dino nuggets start giving you that look again. That's why there's Noom. They combine GLP-1s to quiet the food noise with healthy habits that help you keep it quiet, even if you get off the meds.

1:18Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you. So you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off. Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at Noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. Good times. Good times, guys. Are we going? Yeah. We're going. Hello. Hey. Is that sort of sexy voice? Not just like mine. Do the intro sexy. Let's try and sell some dishcloths. No, that honestly. don't because that hurts my feelings because you know you know how I feel about that no but on the good side though I've seen some people are now buying them out of pity but fine we'll take that we'll honestly we'll at any do it sexy and then you know people can you know I'll give it my best I'll try my best hey hey pretty ladies or men to be honest pretty guys hey pretty people this is Staying Relevant a podcast host hosted by two stallions of men with throbbing...

2:35No, with... I mean, with... The gagging from the room suggests this isn't going as well as it is in your case. All right, fine, fine. I thought that was going to be like a bit erotic, novel-y kind of vibe. He grabbed her by the waist. Welcome to Staying Relevant. Oh, hello, hello. Oh, Janet, hello. No, she's suddenly gone, Pete, give it to him. No, go on, crack on. Welcome to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode hosted by two besties, me, Sam Thompson and Peter James Wicks. This podcast is going to contain swearing. If you don't like it, go f*** yourself. This is Thursday's episode, which means you'll be able to watch it on YouTube on Sunday from 5pm on Josh and Kira's YouTube.

3:18And then Monday's episode, which came out audibly on Monday, you can now watch on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel as of 5pm last night, which was Wednesday, which means that you can catch us on a... Monday. Wednesday. Thursday. Sunday. I would like the power you put behind that. Yeah. Thank you, Kira. Make sure you rate, review, do all of that crap. You know the score by now. Subscribe, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This is supposed to be about you, the bonus episode, so it's your opportunity to email in and fucking talk to you and we do question time and all the other sort of shit. So if you do want to get involved, then email hello at srproductions.co.uk, which is still fucking awful and I hate it every time I say it.

3:56Oh, also, Happy Harry Styles Day. Big day. Big day. He's coming out in March. Yeah, I know, but he's Harry Styles Day. Yes, a Happy Harry Styles Day from March. He's got a new album coming out. Yes, in March. Yeah, I know, but he's announced it. All right, well, let's talk about it in March. So we have alluded to the fact that we had big news and that big news you will now be aware of. Sam? We at Staying Relevant are incredibly proud to announce that we have taken on another podcast, our first podcast under the Staying Relevant banner, other than ours, of course. Yep, we looked far and wide for the right people to take on.

4:40We looked far and wide for the right pod to take on. And then we decided to just go next door to Sam's house. But yes, Ryan and Louise, he said, she said. The ep is out now. Go and give it a listen. it's been revamped it is fun funny serious it's emotional very emotional it's great we love Ryan and Louise so it was only natural that we looked at seeing if we could help with the podcast and I'm so pleased that we have because they are brilliant they genuinely are so yeah make sure you please go and have a listen to that there's going to be lots of different things I hope you enjoyed the launch video yeah that was a lot of fun

5:26but yeah please go and give it a listen rate review do all of that sort of stuff as well very proud moment for us as a business very proud moment for the Thompson family and thank you to Ryan Louise and Leo for trusting us to kind of produce this and yeah I genuinely think it's great and I don't often say that and I'm not just saying that because this is our company I'm saying it because I think it's great. Yeah, so do I. And as Pete said, we're very, very proud. And also stay tuned for sort of like some of their stuff because we may be making appearances here and there as well. They are now in the family, twofold now.

6:02Literally in the family. And we are working on a third podcast. We are looking to get Karen Thompson. We're just acquiring the Thompson family for podcasts. For those of you asking about my mum, she can't even spell podcasts. So, you know, we've got a little bit of lessons to be doing before then. Very exciting, though. We cannot wait. It's going to be huge. But back to us and back to an email from Anon. Anon? Oh.

6:36Anon, lovely to hear from you. I think it's anonymous, isn't it? Yeah. Anonymous. Boys, I need some boys. I need some help. While Sam is planning a Valentine's skiing trip, unfortunately, things are looking a little different for me. I've been with my boyfriend for four years, but can't explain it other than I'm just not feeling it anymore. Fucking hell. How do I send a breakup text when there's no specific problem? They're just not the one for you. All advice. Well, fuck me. Four years. You can send a text. Well, that's the first point. Jesus Christ. I suggest the first thing you do is not text.

7:16after four years I imagine probably just speak to him face to face have a little bit of respect for him and yourself Jesus Christ if you received a text after four years what would you do? well firstly I'd be surprised I made four years I'd be devastated yeah so firstly you can't send a text something's fucking ridiculous so the fact that you're even potentially going to do that makes me not even want to answer this but we will because you know we've got content to do The worst thing I suppose as well is when you, they haven't done anything specifically wrong. But that's actually a good thing.

7:52Yeah, but it makes it harder. It doesn't. All right, go on. I haven't done anything wrong. I'm a really nice person that you just aren't feeling it for some reason for. We've been together for four years. Yeah, we've been together for four years and we have spent time trying to make this work. And at the end of the day, we're different people. You know, like I don't know the ins and outs of this. I don't know the ins and outs of their relationship. shit but the person that you know you're with is is is going to want your worst not just at your best and vice versa and if if you're not actually supposed to be together then all you're doing is wasting more time and it actually becomes detrimental to you staying with someone for the sake of staying with someone because you've been there four years and you've put in four years worth of work is only going to ruin the rest of your life you only get one shot at this it's going to breed resentment it's going to what breed resentment doesn't matter because there won't be part of your life after that no as in what i mean is is if you carry on staying together for that long.

8:42Absolutely. And then it becomes bitter and then there actually is a reason. Someone goes and cheats or does whatever else when actually you can stop it before that point. That's not nice though. And just go, look, you know, people grow in different ways and the person that you were four years ago is not the person that you are now and the person you are now is not going to be the person you are in four years. I mean, it all sounds so lovely but you're never going to take that nicely. That's a gut punch. But also I do have this... Killing with kindness as well, even worse. I do have this fundamental like belief and you know i am the last person you'd ask for relationship advice but that if you are not feeling it anymore it's it won't come as a surprise you know you may be the one to admit that but actually if if the geezer bird whoever it is actually sits down and thinks about it they're probably feeling the same what if they just don't want to admit it well then they're stupid you put that in the text how can you listen you can't be in love with half a person depends how tall they are and oh yeah i mean that's a good point yeah tally's managing it with you but on a serious note you can't be if someone is not giving you everything then you're not in love with them you're in love with the idea of them and the idea of someone is not a foundation to build a relationship that's all well and good but how does she send that in a text she's not going to send it in a text because I've just told her she needs to see him face to face and if you don't do that don't ever listen to this podcast again you bitch oh my god no but honestly you can't send a text because I think I think that's too long for a text yeah so I think I don't know how many characters you get it's quite long but also also I mean the worst is when they try and tell you how great a guy you are or great girl you are and you're just like but you don't want to be with me but you're telling me how great I am but why don't you want to be with me but that's also another problem too is another problem that I think people have is that they then go it's not it's both of you you you can fall out of love like you just people grow differently I'm still not nice to hear no it's never going to be nice to hear is it but honesty is the best policy have you ever been dumped um yeah when I've deserved it yeah we've ever been dumped just like randomly so it's just like I'm just not feeling it no yeah see then you don't know no i don't know the pain yeah but also i i have had to do that that shit doing that actually almost worse it's shit because you know you can have all the you can have all think of all the ingredients all the things you really like like i really like guinness like i i i really like celery i really like chili i really like ice cream you know they're all fundamentally things that I really like, but I wouldn't put them all in a bowl.

11:34Struggling to understand the... So the point being is you can name all the things that you like about a person, but together that isn't the person for you. Yes. I love the fact that you're this, this, this, and this, and this, and that's all true, and that is all great, and that's still... But going, well, why is that not enough? Because altogether that is not what I want to eat. Ah, yeah. Do you see where I'm going now, kids? Yeah. Yeah. Christ. Well, I mean, that went pretty deep. But as I said, don't ask me for relationship advice because I am eternally single and will die alone. But with a lovely pair of suede shoes on, not suede, lovely pair of loafers on.

12:13Okay, good. Yeah, so take it from a guy with lovely loafers and a guy with a terrible mullet. Don't send a text. Speak to him in person and just be honest. Yeah. Your penis is too small. How was that for you? I like a more serious tone. Interesting. Yeah. Well, let's get on to something less serious. Yeah, this one. This one's beautiful. This one. First of all, congratulations to Pete. Hey, Sam. Hey, Pete. Hey, team. Just wondering if Pete has forgotten to tell us something as this has come up on my Facebook from Chloe. What I'm seeing here is a Facebook post from the British A-list, which I imagine is some celebrity sort of like...

12:57Bullshit. Profile. Sometimes love doesn't shout, it simply shines, the caption says, with one quiet gesture. Yavita showed the world what words could... Yavita who? Yavita Pristel showed the world what words never could. A raised left hand, a sparkling ring, and Pete Wicks holding her close as if nothing else matters. No headlines, no drama, just two hearts choosing forever. Fans say they've never seen them look this peaceful and this happy. There is then a photo of Pete and Yavita, which I imagine must be AI generated, but it looks fucking real, of Yavita holding her hand up with a ring on it.

13:35Yeah. We're engaged.

13:41I was hoping for a better response from you lot.

14:07started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you, it's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Losing weight can feel like a roller coaster, full of ups, downs, and being thrown for loops, like when someone brings donuts into the office, or your kids' dino nuggets start giving you that look again. That's why there's Noom. They combine GLP-1s to quiet the food noise with healthy habits that help you keep it quiet, even if you get off the meds. Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you, so you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off.

14:50Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at Noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger than life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night, they're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. Way fair, every style, every home

15:31Yeah, look, this has been doing the rounds for a while AI is absolutely wild Obviously, Yavita and I are not engaged She actually sent this to me last week Because it's for some reason going everywhere Well, I can see why I mean, it's the engagement that everyone always dreamed of Yeah, I mean, as AI goes though It's, yeah, I mean, it's not a bad one That picture was actually taken The original picture outside just the two of us or whatever the Strictly other show, what's it called? It Takes Two, outside that studio in Elstree a fair while ago because if I'd just got engaged, I'd put a wig on for it because my hair is twice the length that it is now.

16:12But, yeah, unfortunately, no, we're not engaged. We are still exceptionally good friends and I adore her, but we're not getting married. You sure? oh no fuck I forgot there we go yeah no I'm pretty sure but yeah absolutely wild so just to squash any of that yeah we're not engaged we're not dating we're not she's my friend when do you think he's going to go on for forever I imagine I mean it's utterly wild behaviour I mean AR just in general there are so many like we get so many fake accounts and stuff of of me. Like it's wild. There's people on, I mean, I get messages from people who think they're talking, I don't even have a TikTok, but there's like people on fucking TikTok who pretend to be me.

17:03There's fucking Instagrams, all sorts of stuff. It's actually me. Yeah. You don't seem to get a lot of this. No, no one wants to shag or meet me in a park for 200 pounds. Well, yeah, people are, If you get messages from me asking for money, asking to meet up or anything else, it's not me. Asking to meet up. I don't have a personal fan account. And these are blue tits. These are like, for all intents, they look genuine. It's not me. So please don't. I mean, how would you feel, Sam? What if there's an AI knocking about of you being engaged? I mean, how will we know? Well, I mean, first of all, I'd be happy.

17:50There's just, you know, I'm happy. People care. But, you know, I don't really know. It depends how many people sent it to me and stuff and were like, congratulations. And then I'd panic. I'd be like, fuck, have I done it without knowing I've done it? Do you black out a lot? Hey, I don't know. But I don't know. I just, I don't think it would faze me that much. It would bother me, like you said, if people thought that I was sending money, if I was like, oh, you need to send me money for like a meeting group. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, it's like them fucking scams isn't it I lost my passport and if you could send me 500 pounds then I'll be able to get my passport and then I've got the inheritance and I'll give you 3 million when I get there like but I've fallen for one of them before well not like that though you know when you get like is it like FedEx and fucking like DPD and all that sort of stuff I hadn't paid the fucking tax on deliveries and I get so many fucking deliveries of just bullshit So there I am, not really concentrating.

18:46I don't know what I was doing. I was probably fucking sat here, fucking putting all... That's why I don't do internet banking and stuff now. I don't like doing any of that stuff. I put in all my details, scammed it, and took fucking a load of money out of the camp. Yeah, happens all the time. All the time? It's a dangerous world we live in. It really is. With AI, you know, it's only going to get worse. I mean, are we real? Does Pete exist? Does Pete actually exist? Does Sam exist? yeah no it is fucking mental but on the plus side though really glad I cut my hair yeah it's long there I look like Lord Farquhar you do it's not the worst vote though to be fair but yeah anyway not too bad alright question time here we go now you know we love a question we really really do and this one is a doozy Pete you're going to like this one question time Do either of you think you're top 10 at anything in the world?

19:43For example, I'm top 10 at Eakin Pickles and Peanut Butter. I do it every day. Okay. Who's verified that? That's a really good point. I mean, I don't think... No is the answer to that. What is there, seven, eight billion people in the world? Have we gone up to eight billion yet? Seven billion still. I think you're a top 10 at loads of things. In the world? Yeah, like really niche things. Like a few years ago, yeah, like most ice creams in the freezer. Eight. Yeah, but no one has that many. Out of the seven billion people in the world, no one's got more than eight ice creams. Yeah, but when you were younger, you were probably like top ten at having like most sticks in your house.

20:32Not if you live in like a cabin, your house is made of sticks. No, but like, that you've picked off, like twigs off the floor. Like, it's quite niche. Like, you wear loads of loafers. I've worn loafers to work today, right? Never worn them to work before and now I'm top 10 in the world. Red Bulls consumed. F***ing smoked. Yes, genuinely. I reckon you're up there for cigarette smoke. No. Pete, no, fuck off. You walk around with two packs in your hand at all times. I genuinely reckon Pete not top 10 I reckon in all seriousness you're in the top 100 ,000 for cigarette smoked in the world in the world don't be so fuck are you all brain dead I think you're top 100 ,000 in the world I don't think I'm top 10 for anything in the world I think I'm a distinctly average mundane human being there's got to be something you're top 10 out in the world what do you mean there's got to be something.

21:34No, there doesn't. I'm quite happy. Oh, I mean, listen, if I'm not top 10, you've fucking, you've got no, not a hope. Not a hope. What do you think you would be top 10 at? I'm pretty quick. Oh, please. I'm pretty fast. Please. I'm pretty fast. I mean, there's about every Olympics. All right. There is about 60 people. I'm pretty quick. Throughout the heats and all the rest of it. If you look at all the heats who are doubly as quick as you, let alone when you get down to sort of national level, then you go into county level. You're not even, I don't even think you're in the top 10 fastest people in this building.

22:10I beat Usain Bolt in a race. No, you haven't. Yeah, I did. You beat Usain Bolt in a race. When was this? At the soccerade. Show us. There's no video. There's no video? No video. Oh, okay. Well, I... He's got a lot older as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I completely forgot. I am also the strongest man in the world. There isn't a video. but Tom Stonklin and I, we arm wrestled. Who the fuck is Tom Stonklin? He's World's Strongest Man and I taught him everything he knows about the log press so I do it in my spare time but if I wanted to, I could probably lift up a car. I'm top 10 hugger. Sorry, number one.

22:49I'm number one hugger in the world. Well, we were going to get onto this. You are the holder of a number of records. Oh, I've got six, seven. It was a whole thing. I presume, though, that is because no one else has tried them. Doesn't matter. Because I'm going to be honest with you, and listen, this is a disclaimer, and I feel bad because Sam does have seven world records. Five of them had never been attempted before. Yeah, but I'm still number one. Yeah, well, yeah, but also - What are you number one of? Huh? Nothing. But actually, no, we do. We have a draw on the Conkers.

23:25Yeah, and eggs. Yeah, yeah. Pete's number one at egg smashing. But because no one else has tried it. And to be perfectly honest, yes, we did that. And we just got through the number. We still had about 20 seconds left. Synchronized swimming? Even us could have done it. Synchronized swimming? Yeah. Sorry, we were taught by two Olympians and they didn't even win. Yeah, yeah, but we were as good as they were. No, we weren't. Yes, we were. Mate, yes, we were. Ted had to cut the shit out of that because there was barely anything other than us looking like we were drowning. There is nothing in the world.

23:59We are, and listen, I hate to fucking burst your bubble, all right, but we are probably below average at most things. I don't know, mate. I think we're pretty exceptional people. Name what makes you exceptional, please. I cannot fucking wait. All right, well, give me a sec. I mean, fuck. Sam, I want you to say these words. I am exceptional at. Uno. Don't hold your head. All right. Yeah. Okay. Mate, fucking good at UNO. Google for me, UNO Championships, because I'm sure there's some fucking idiots come up with that because you're good at UNO, which means you meet fucking, you beat Karen and your sister at fucking Christmas.

24:41UNO Championships is in Vegas every year. Oh, dude, we've got to go, mate. Dude, I would smash that. Okay, so Sam's now in training for the UNO Championships. So none of these things, but genuinely, genuinely, and this is not just what you think you'd be good at or you're in the top 10. What do you think you could get good enough to be in the top 10? Because currently you're just a fucking piece of shit. The next part of the podcast is brought to you by Toohey. I mean, I think they're going to be the best partners we have on the podcast this year. Why? Because Toohey's the place to be for couples who are looking to book a holiday away.

25:17Whatever you want, they've got it. They've got hundreds of destinations worldwide. There's more options and more choice. Okay, let me just stop you there. Firstly, we're not a couple. Yes, we are. Secondly, we are beyond saving. There is absolutely no chance of me and you agreeing on finding the right destination. We've got completely different ideas of what a good holiday is. Mate, too, we've got holidays for families, couples, mates like us. We can go on a mate trip if you want. Whenever you want to hit a beach, explore a city, or ski in the mountains. I'll be honest with you, I don't mind skiing.

25:46I'll tell you what we do then. We'll put it to the test. What does our next holiday destination look like to you? Right, for me, dream destination anywhere with a beach and sea. Beach, cocktails, relax. Okay. Sandcastles. No. Pyramids out of sandcastles. No. And a moat. No. See, you're losing me here. This is like the prime example. You start good with beach and then you lose me on activities and things I don't want to do. That's not a holiday. That is just babysitting you. Running? No. No. On the beach. The only thing I'll be running from is you. Okay, guys, guys, let me just put a quick stop to this because I've got something to show you.

26:25Well, what's this you're giving us? More expenses to sign off? No, just while you two have been busy arguing about your beaches and your volleyballs and whatnot. Sound castles. I have had a little look at the TUI website here and I've actually found two options that tick all of your boxes. Okay. Okay, so option one, we've got the Holiday Village Red Sea in Egypt. Oh, Egypt. I've been to Egypt. It's lovely. It's actually one of the world's best locations for scuba diving. Oh, we love scuba doing. I am a qualified master paddy scuba diver. He is, that's not even a lie. Yeah, she is. We could do some scuba diving.

26:55I would love, I'd have to have someone on my back. Oh, that's so demeaning. Because Pete's going to be on his own. No, no, no, you won't have to say, it's not skydiving. You don't scuba dive with someone on your back. You'll have your own tank, your own oxygen. You're not going to share mine. It's a beautiful hotel. We've got five different bars, six restaurants as well. Amazing. And they also have an aqua park. And you mentioned activities, Sam. We've got archery. Quite good at archery. So it's a good start. That's option one. Okay, all right. Option two, we have Tui Blue Sensitory Atlantica Aphrodite Hills in Cyprus.

27:29Cyprus is lovely. I've never been to Cyprus. Really, really good. Food's great in Cyprus. Well, do you know what I do know about Cyprus, actually, is in Greek mythology, Aphrodite was born there in a scallop shell. Or it's actually in the Aphrodite Hills. I didn't even think about that, by the way. That's mental, actually. Well, I did think about it, and that's why it's option two. I like, in the morning, you know, I like to get up very early, especially on holidays, to watch sunrises with a coffee, and I imagine over the hills, Mediterranean in the background, stunning. You get it. And also, Pete, adding to that, it's got adult-only zones.

28:04Oh, my. Sign me up. Yeah, not one for you, Sam, but that's fine. Yeah, where does he go? It's right next to, sorry, a championship golf course. So you can go there. So these are the two options? Yeah, that's option one, option two. Should we say a destination after three and see if we agree on it? Three, two, one. Cyprus. Oh, yes. Did we just agree on a holiday? I think we did. I didn't think we'd actually managed to find somewhere that we both wanted to go. Yeah, Pimby, you've actually smashed that. You have smashed that. That was good from you. How did you do it? Thanks, guys. Well, credit where credit's due, it was actually Tui that smashed it.

28:40Yeah, thank you. See, this is good. Okay, so Cyprus decided what are a few things you guys want to do for the first time while you're there. Well, to start off, it'll be the first time you've ever been to Cyprus. I know, which is a huge one. Yeah. Whilst we're there, I've never seen neither of you. Aphrodite is... Rock. And that's something that I'm super excited about. I want to get you a bit more into Greek mythology anyway. So it's a great place to go. I'm looking forward to it. And what's, you know, hopefully it's a different rock to just sort of a rock. No, no, no, mate. It's going to have like, trust me, it'll have aura.

29:07I will spend the day with you and it'll be the first time ever on a golf course. Deal. Maybe I'll caddy. Oh my God, I can't wait. This is going to be so fun. This is also going to be your first ever all-inclusive holiday. I'm in. Do you know what? I'm going to be honest and I'm not too proud to admit it. I didn't think we were going to find a holiday that we both agreed on. Neither did I. Do you know what? There must be millions of couples and friends who had the exact same... We're not alone in this. All we needed was Tui. Do you know what? I've actually got an idea. Just like Tui and Pippa have helped us for hours, why don't we do it for a pair of listeners?

29:40I reckon that's a good idea, you know. Cool. Keep your eyes peeled on our Instagram. we're going to actually make this happen. We genuinely, genuinely are. So that's the beauty with Tui. You pick it, they sort it. Book in, T's the C's apply. Atoll and Abta protected. It's going to be a great summer. Holiday for us and listeners. I know, can't wait. We should go away together with them. No. So what do you think you could potentially get in the top 10 in the world for? In all seriousness, don't come at with fucking Uno or I'm the best person at cooking a couple of steaks. Probably Trumpet. probably don't no again you just mate you're just not letting me land oh mate because like I mean it gets boring it's like I feel like I'm sometimes actually talking to Leo I was I was a child prodigy at trumpet playing right I was grade 6 yeah you were grade 6 mate there's only 8 grades ok so you weren't even the top of the grades yeah but I was like 12 right

30:42if I So you think you're some sort of trumpet savant? I think I could have been in a jazz band. Right. Okay. You may, yeah, probably. Yeah, you could have. Yeah. Where is that top 10 in the world? Do you understand the question? What are you top 10 in the world in? At least I'm trying to think of things. Absolutely nothing. Do you know the level of skill and effort you'd have to put in to be top 10 at anything in the world? We couldn't even manage to be top 10 at anything in the UK. I don't think we'd be top 10 at anything in London. It's got to be something. Nothing. Like, to be that level, when you look at, like, Usain Bolt or you look at people who are the best in the world, do you know how difficult that is?

31:27But even then, like Usain Bolt, I bet there is someone unknown around the world who is probably quicker. There'll be someone quicker. Really? You just, to be that level, if you really think about it, as the best in the world, it's really hard to verify any of that. So in answer to the fucking question, no, we're a pair of fucking wallies or a shit at everything. But I'll tell you what, off the back of that, the next question, if you were a day of the week, which would you be? You'd be Monday. You'd be fucking Monday with the attitude you're giving right now. Why would I be? I like Mondays. You're a Monday.

31:59You're a Sunday at 4pm onwards, is what you are. You're that death few hours just before Monday where it's just like, oh God, it's the fear, the panic, The hangover hasn't quite gone. And you're literally like, fuck, it's a whole nother week coming up. That's you in that period right now. I like a Sunday night. Yeah, because you're like getting the obvious. Here we fucking go. What do you think you are? Oh, what day am I? You're a Friday. Yeah, I so am. I'm a come on queen. Yeah. Like, let's go and just, ah, the weekend's coming. No, I'm a Thursday. You know you've got another day, but Friday's kind of a write-off sometimes.

32:35It's a bit of a half day of Friday. and so I'm like a Thursday afternoon. All right, so you've gone specific with time as well on this. So you're a Thursday afternoon and I'm a Sunday afternoon. Yeah. So I'm ending the week. Yeah. And you are starting the weekend. Starting the weekend. Okay, all right, nice. Excellent. What would you say Pipsqueak is? Oh, Pips is a fucking Wednesday. Pips is a Wednesday. She's a Monday. No, Pips is a Wednesday. Pips is a midweek Wednesday. I like Wednesdays. There you go, you're a Wednesday. the next one's an interesting one because I came in this morning and and mentioned this oh yeah opinions on people who make Instagram accounts for their pets well I've never done it and I'm not you know it's not something I would do but I have asked whether um uh Hannah Chuckles would like to set up a Rodney Insta she was all over it um I'm mainly thinking of the monetary um side of things and the fact that I won't have to run it.

33:32I don't know. This is a tough one for me to answer because ordinarily I'd say get a life. Yeah, but now. But my algorithm is full of just dog accounts where it's like, today I played with my human and it's like a dog just looking. And they say they do a double O, human. Yeah, and it's just like a dog like staring at his own and like, are you going to fucking feed me a while? But yeah, so it's a tough one for me. The idea of people, I like, do you know what? I like to consume them, but the idea of someone doing it and then writing a caption as if they're the dog or the cat makes me want to run them over and then reverse back.

34:09Well, I mean, I had a cat account. But do you know what I mean? Like, do you know, I enjoy watching them and consuming them, but the idea of sitting there and going, today I went to work with dad, met uncle Sam, had a shit in the corner. Like, no, it's fucking weird. Do you know what I mean? like it's just fucking weird I just don't like it you're about to do it no she is I'm not being responsible for it but it's a weird thing isn't it how do you feel about it mate do you know what I'm here for I had a cat account I quite like it well I didn't really yeah to be fair and it used to make me uncomfortable Uncle Pete came round and I decided to sit in his lap yeah nice and it's your little fucking cross-eyed cat just like, and he's got no idea.

34:58Cedric, by the way, to everyone, a little grey one. Do you know, I like to watch them. I just don't like to read the captions. And I would be happy if you just put loads of pictures of your pets up. I'd like to look at that. You don't need to give it a voice and a personality because I can't see that through a picture or a video. Or like, oh, love it when it's snowing. Woo, woo. And then people voice over the, no, no. how can I be mad when this is going on in his head no no no but I've watched them they're so kind of yes and like but like I doom scroll watching that shit and then I get angry at myself because I think that's not what you say I can't imagine Pete doom scrolling either it's just it's just like animal accounts so it's a no but you but maybe it's a no for me because it's cringe and disgusting if you do it it's cringe and disgusting but also don't stop doing it because it's probably, I would say it's like a guilty pleasure for me.

35:59Can we, do you know what? Actually, off the back of that, I think it's really important for any pet accounts out there, and I feel like we've got a fair few who listen to this podcast, if you wouldn't mind sliding into Pete's DMs with your pet account, with your pet's voice. So like, for example, i.e. Hello, Pete. Woof, woof, Pete. Hope you're having a wonderful Monday. It's amazing. Why would you set up sort of a dog account and then give your dog a starter? I feel like that's exceptionally fucking... Woof, Pete. I hope you're having a woofy Monday. And I just got taken on a walk today. Woof.

36:35I hope you're having a great day. And my human is loving your podcast. I mean, it is... Licks and kisses. Oh, no. It's fucking weird. Do you get me, though, or not? Yeah, but I've always thought it was a little bit weird, but I embrace it. No, I just can't. Do you know who's the sort of person? Pippa, yeah. Does your dog have an account? She doesn't, actually. Does anyone in this room? It's the same. Do you know what it reminds me of as well? It's the same as people that, like, they have to give names. I had this conversation in the office weeks and months ago before Christmas. Name me your car as if that's...

37:19Just did that this weekend. Oh, mate. Just did it this weekend. That is bad timing. Listen, at least a dog is a sentient being. That's a fucking lump of metal. Yeah. And you're giving it a name and like, oh, God, she doesn't like the cold mornings. No. Do you know what I mean? Just feeding up Betty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone at the petrol pump. Oh, she's hungry today. Fiat 500. Chloe's hungry. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Have you named your car this weekend? Yeah. You and your bird have named it. What have you named? It's just Bertie. What do you mean, of course it is? Bertie's a normal name. That's not like a weird...

37:59I've never grown up and I don't know anyone called Bertie other than Bertie Bassett. Who's that? Well, you're in a room from Gen Z, so don't look at them. Josh, for help. Josh, you're old. Yeah, no, I know the name, but I can't picture what you're talking about. licorice all sorts I hate licorice so do I I don't like it okay I didn't ask you if you like them oh yeah I've got no idea who that is that's Bertie Bassett okay oh fucking hell oh thank you for listening to Staying Relevant bet you've got your headphones and you're pretending you're working but you're actually listening to us so if you are get that spreadsheet girl get that Brett spreadsheet queen and you're gonna have a great day queen energy Slay.

38:47This has been a Staying Relevant production.

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39:59Bare Knuckle. Liverpool's own Darren the Gorilla Till goes to war with Cuban powerhouse Yoel Soldier of God Romero. Plus the Bare Knuckle Middleweight Championship of the World is on the line when the reigning champ Dave the Redneck Mundell defends against undefeated British challenger Jack the Meat Cleaver Colon. BKFC 94, Till vs. Romero. Watch it live only on DAZN. Sign up now at DAZN.com. The podcast industry has spent years arguing about formats. The thing is, podcast audiences never cared. 88 % of them now consume audio and video. Not only that, 63 % of them have started an episode in one format and finished it in another format.

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41:18And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We're sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership. Thank you.