Pete's going back on Strictly?!

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0:40Welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two best friends, myself, Sam Thompson and Peter James Wicks. It's the bonus, baby! Come on! They'll be swearing if you don't like it, go f*** yourself. It is Thursday, as it is the bonus. You'll be able to watch this on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel on a Sunday from 5pm. And the Monday main episode is now on their YouTube channel as of 5pm last night, which is Wednesday. So you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. Rate reviews, all of that crap, as this is the bonus episode. It is supposed to be all about you, but we are quite selfish.

1:14So when it is about you, then email hello at srproductions.co.uk UK, the fucking most horrendous email address in the world. I don't know why we still stuck with that. Oh, it's just fucking now people. We've got to say it, though. We've got to say it just to ram it down their throats. You know? Yep. So, first email. Sam. Right. Here we go. Boys, Merry early Christmas to the both of you. Loved reading the book. Now I'm on the audiobook. Anyway, as well as being a huge Staying Relevant fan, I'm also a big Strictly Come Dancing fan. I was watching Blackpool last week and saw some old Strictly stars made an appearance with fan-favorite dancers.

1:57Now, obviously, we were all thinking the same thing. Where was the pink PVC trouser cha-cha? Would Pete ever return to an all-star series? Same for Sam for the Jungle. Please go back, both of you. That's from Mel. Well, Peter, I think it's only right that we start with you, mate. all-star series of Australia. I can see that happening, by the way. I bet that happens when it's like run its course, viewing figures dip a little bit, all-stars because that would be great viewing. It's been a year since the Pink PVC and I'm glad to see it still etched in everyone's memory. The reason I wasn't back was because of the amount of Ofcom complaints last time.

2:33Did they ask you? What? To come back and perform that dance? No, no, no because they wanted people that could dance. Oh, right. If you saw the people that actually went back, they're all basically professional dancers. They're all fucking brilliant. Like, unbelievable. Who went back? People. Ashley Roberts. Pussycat Doll. Oh, right, yeah. And some others. Someone from The Wanted. Oh, yeah, Dance with Yavita. A guy from The Wanted that won it and danced with Yavita. Yavita was his partner because his partner has since left the show. So they did like a Pulp Fiction jive. Were they all really good?

3:07Oh, fucking unbelievable. They're all basically winners. It's like sending back, if they did an All-Star, they'd send back like Tashaguri. Would you go to an all-star series? To watch? Would you perform? Mate, no. No. You wouldn't perform? Mate, I couldn't perform when it was my series. And also, the name all-star suggests it has to be people that were quite good. You watch the semis. What are you talking about? Not based on the dancing, we think. Not based on the dancing. Would I do it? Would I go back and do it again?

3:47on one condition go on i do it with your vita well yeah i couldn't i couldn't do it with anyone else because i couldn't she's the only one that knows how to handle me yeah i don't i genuinely and not even you know everyone kind of does his thing where it's just the best person i don't think anyone else could teach me yeah like like genuinely without me um just combusting um she's the only one that i think would be able to teach me if i had to go and do it with someone i don't think I would understand anything at all and it would be an absolute fucking shambles and then they'd be all-star and it would, the only time do you know what they should do, they should do an all-shit and throw in me and Widdicombe fucking head balls and all the fucking I would so watch that yeah, just a catastrophe that's what Streetly used to be like back in the day it was just people who genuinely couldn't dance yeah, I mean everyone that's left now is a fucking professional which is wonderful, so it makes for a great, like you see some amazing dances.

4:47They're actually doing something apparently I've heard this week, which is new. So last year they did something called a Samba-thon, which is where they basically just played samba music and we just had to dance samba with no rehearsal. So you didn't have a set dance, but you were all on the floor at the same time, so you had to avoid each other like an actual dance competition. So I had to do that last year, which was... And then the judges watch, and then they start kicking you off, like, based on who's the worst, but whilst you're all just dancing around. It's live. Yeah, it was live. I didn't see that bit.

5:27Yeah, it was absolutely wild. Did anyone see it? It was fucking... I didn't come last, though. We got about... I think we got about third from last, I think. There was about eight people left, I think. So what are they doing this time? So this time they're doing something called an instant dance, which means they're just going to play a song and you just have to dance. Oh, my God. That's my worst nightmare. Now. That is my worst nightmare. I haven't spoken to you about this, but imagine. Imagine standing there, not knowing what's going to come out, and then going, go on, me. Can you imagine? That is so good.

6:09What would you do? What would you do? Wait, you don't know what the song is. Okay, Pete, get up. I'm just going to do something. I'm going to sing something. And you just... We'll only do it for like five seconds. Daddy, daughter. Right. Here we go. Come on. I'll go grab a partner. Okay. One, two... This is heavy start. Because we don't know what it's going to be. Okay, ready? Yeah. One, two, three.

6:58Mate, but you would have been fine. You would have been out as fine because you knew what it was. Well, I don't know if that is a jibe. It was, it was a jibe. Was it? Yeah. Also, I've never done a jive, so I don't think that is the jive. That was a cross between... That was the hokey-cokey. That was a cross between a jive and river dance, I think, because I suddenly went into sort of Irish dancing, Michael Flatley. But, mate, you could be... The thing is, that would be so funny. Imagine him going on and doing that to the jive. And you've got, like, Tasha Guru and everyone being like... He's like...

7:35Yeah, actually, I think I was doing that wrong. I think you have to do that. Oh, mate, fuck, that's funny. We should do a staying relevant version of that. But yeah, anyway, wild. Would you go back into an all-star jungle? I mean, you are the winner, so if they're going to... Do you know what? I'm going to say it. Possibly the best king of the jungle ever. Oh, I don't know about that. Well, I don't remember any other king of the jungle, so... Harry Redknapp, Harry Redknapp. Harry Redknapp, all right. Yeah, he was a good king. Okay, so Harry Redknapp. Hasn't they just done an all-star one? Yeah, they do.

8:04They do one each year in South Africa now. Oh, well, home from home. You grew up there. I know. Do you know what? I don't think I... I don't know if I would, to be honest with you, Mel. I feel like... Who the fuck's Mel? Heavy breathing over there. Fucking hell. It's been a while. All I heard there was... I was fucking wild. Wild.

8:33Give me a sec. I'll talk over this. Mel, who wrote the email in, I don't know if I would because I had such brilliant memories from the first time. I wouldn't want to ruin it with anything else. And it's also not right. You can't bet a winning, can you? Yeah, and I had such a fucking good time. I haven't even watched it back because I remember it all in my head. And I feel like just it's, I remember how I felt watching, like, doing it. I don't feel the need to, like, do that. And I think I'd miss it too much. So I haven't watched it or anything like that. And I don't think... And it's not live, the one in South Africa.

9:07I'm not shitting on it. It's obviously still great. Sounds a little bit like you're shitting on it. No, but it's just like... I don't think that I would want to ruin the... It's one of the best moments of my 33 years of being alive. And I just don't know if I would... What's the second best moment? Second best moment? I'm worrying, Lee, there's a few career ones and I'm trying to think, well, obviously Leo, but other than that, probably Run. Run was pretty big, like mentally. O2, pretty big career-wise. Jungle. And so... That answers your question, Mel. Yeah, Mel, I don't know if I would. Maybe not yet, anyway.

9:50Not yet. Maybe later down the line. I'd have some stipulations as well. it has had Tony and Marvin in it. So, so the All-Star will just be a repeat of the 2023 or 24. What was the year? Did you do it? Was it 23? I know, it's terrifying. Fuck me, it's 2026 next year. Fucking Jesus. Fuck my life. Yeah. All right, here we go. Dear Sam, Pete, and the best team. Wow, we've got the team in here. I never know whether Pip has written these herself. I need to know. No, because if she had, it would have been Dear Pippa, Pete, Sam and Tim. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love the trackie. I love the Tala gym wear you use.

10:30You should ask for a pain ride. You sound good. And the boys call you Pete Brand. What were the boys doing out here? It's really upsetting. Honestly, I loved your episode of the podcast. Really, you should just replace Pete all the time. Dear Sam, Pete and Pippa, pretty much. I need to know, with the Celeb Christmas Apprentice coming up, if you guys were on The Apprentice, what business would you pitch to Lord Sugar to get the£250 ,000 investment. And why? Love you a lot. Love you lot long time. That's from Amy. Definitely a Pippa writing, that one. You've tried to sound like a normal, but I'd be like, long time, huh?

11:06Oh, it's so Pippa round. It is, isn't it? So Pippa round. Say love you long time. Love you long time. Yeah. What would your business be? If we were doing it together, though, it'd have to be a joint business venture. Well, in which case then, No, I suppose I'll take that. I'd ask for 250 grand to invest into this company because I feel like we are now stuck with a team that isn't efficient enough. I also feel like what we've spent this year is ridiculous and the extra quarter of a million could go down because we've spent it on shit Christmas trees and salmon sperm and fucking toys that shag. You know what I mean?

11:42So really, the 250K would just be used to recuperate the losses that I've had. Wardrobe hangers.

11:53is what I think we should go into business for.

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13:03I need more. If I was Lord Sugar. No, no, no. If I was Lord Sugar and you, so, you know, tell me about your business. Wardrobe hangers. I wouldn't instantly go, give him the quarter of a meal. Can I put you in a position quickly? So it's me and you. It depends, mate. Let me bend you over quickly, right? And let me land. So. She's one lucky woman. Imagine me and you are stood next to each other. And George Shearer goes, so what was your business idea, Pete? And I just went with, and you didn't know this was coming. I went, wardrobe hangers. And then he looked at you and went, Pete, what does he mean by that?

13:40What do you do? I think I'd look at you and say you're fired before he did. I mean what do you mean by wardrobe hangers I'll say exactly what yeah please because I ask every time I try and get my hoodies or something off a hanger you can't they don't obviously slip off so you've got like take them off I would love to be able to yank something off a wardrobe hanger and it'd be a mechanism that allows for it to actually just come off when you pull it okay quite niche very niche very niche but I think he's looking for a bit of that a bit of spice a bit of neuro spicy do you think yeah i think i think i'd be like look i'm autistic and adhd or ad or dhd is what they call it what it's called all the hd all the hd all right so so you'd initially you you'd tell him your name you tell him which gang you're a part of um you know who you who your crew are yeah he didn't instantly understand that this is going to be a niche yeah and then you go i'd just like I'd like you to invest quarter of a million pounds in some, in some coat hangers that I can rip my hoodie off easily.

14:49And then you would have to stand next to me and be like, yeah, I'd say, listen, we'd like to let him think for himself.

15:02But what if that was the only thing we could do? Cause once someone says, that's the only thing we could do, then I'll be honest with you. I will find the nearest bridge and drive off of it. I would love to see Pete out, you know, when they put you in malls and they try and get you selling these things. Shopping centres. Or do you mean like a rugby mall? As in shopping malls.

15:25It kills me. Should we go to mall? I'm now envisioning Pete in a rugby mall. Imagine Pete in a scrum. I mean, I feel like it would be funny to imagine you in a scrum more than anything. I used to be a hooker. Yeah. What about the rugby? I used to be a hooker. I was always living my life in a scrum. Fuck, it'd be funny. You'd just be kicking people in that thing, wouldn't you? Actually, I used to play on the wing. Really? Yeah. Or fullback. I was a hooker for ages. I couldn't understand it. I was so fucking small. Well, that is kind of what the hooker is supposed to be. I thought it'd be half, fly half.

16:04Oh, okay. Excellent. Well, lovely bit of rugby. Yeah. But you know where they put you? And do you know what? This is exactly how the pitch would go. And they'd go, what the fuck are these two morons on about? So you want coat hangers, but you like rugby. And then do you know what we'd do? They'd be like, right, could you draw us a business plan? And you'd draw a coat hanger and then you'd draw your hoodie and you'd draw you angry because the hoodie didn't come off quick enough. Yeah. So you want easy access coat hangers. Yeah. Right. Okay. Excellent. And then we'd get sent to a shopping centre and we'd have to sell it to the general public.

16:40And how would you sell that to them? Coat hangers that you can rip your stuff off quickly on. Okay, you'd have to demonstrate, I imagine. So it would just be a number of hoodies lined up and then you just ripping them off really quickly and then normal coat hangers and the struggle. Struggle. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, I like it. Hope that answers your question, Amy. I'm sure that's not what you were looking for. God, I really enjoyed that. I think you should take the next one because... Fuck, we're doing the football checking. Yeah, make it quick though. Some huge news we have to touch on this week.

17:11That's written by Pippa on the iPad. I don't know how huge it is. GBU lost four games, drawn four games. Oh, no, sorry, it is massive news. I thought it said we lost. We've won a game this year. Yes, we have. Oh, my God. Not just won, absolutely smashed the game. Won 7-2. I would like to point out it's not a league game. It was a cup game against children. Wait, what? It was a cup game where they played an under-21s team. Oh, fuck, man. You just want some positive news. It doesn't count to the league. So currently still no wins in the league, but they have managed to get through a round of the cup against Tipton Town under-fives.

18:01Sorry, under-21s. Fairly young team. 7-2 now feels a little bit rude. Yeah. So, I mean, one of the questions that I think everyone is dying to know is how am I feeling about it? And if I'm really honest, I'm completely and utterly indifferent. I just, I regret every part of Great Bar United and the time, effort and breath that I've wasted talking about you. Well, I'm going to do a little speech for you. Yeah, bring it back up, mate. Guys, look, you've got to start somewhere. And, you know, we were on a rocky road to nowhere at the start. So, you know, the fact that you've had to punch down to get some confidence back, I understand the motive.

18:46I understand why you've done it. A bit bullish, but we can take it. We'll take anything we can at this moment in time. So 7-2, up the GBU. Let's fucking have it. Yeah, let's see if you can carry it into the league form. I'm not entirely sure. I don't know if you just picked to play some kids just so the photo stayed up because you heard the story. Can the photo stay up? It won. I mean, I did say if you win, it stays up, so it will stay up. But I am looking for a league win against men or just adults, sorry. So a league win against adults would be great. Let's see how you get on pre-Christmas. Question time now, mate.

19:28You love this. You love a bit of question time, don't lie. Da-da-da-da question time. Who would your dream campmates be to do I'm a celeb with? Three each, Pete. Well, Sam did I'm a celeb with his dream campmates. As we've just discussed on the All-Star, he would just repeat the year that he did it. I'd add Stephen Fry in there. Your dad's Stephen Fry. It's your go-to answer, isn't it? Stephen Fry. Have you ever met him? No, I'd love Stephen Fry. Do you know what? Maybe we should look at trying to get Sam and meet with Stephen Fry. Mate, if you did that, I would cry and probably shit myself. Does he do PAs?

20:02In sort of museums, I imagine. But maybe we could get that. I would die. If you could get me that, I'd cry. Your three dream campmates, Pete. I've got me there, I imagine. Oh, yeah. Louis Rue would be my Stephen Fry. Yeah. Then who would my other two dream campmates be? I would really like

20:34to be honest with you I'd just like to do it alone

20:40just sat around a campsite on your own do you know what I mean maybe I'm a celeb on my own leave me here I think would be the new title of the thing I don't know who else I'd want really who do you think I would would be good to see me with. Oh, Taze. Eh? Is that like a word or a person? Could see you with chunks.

21:07The YouTube crowd. Oh, so you'd just see me with any YouTubers? Yeah. Why? Because I wouldn't know who they are. It'd be really funny. Yeah, I don't really know. I don't really know who I'd want to be with. Someone older I'd put you with. I'd put you with an older crowd. Ray Winston I'd like to do with. Ray Winston would be great for you. Yeah, I'd like a Ray Winston in there. Oh, mate, fucking... Not a Martin Graham. Fucking Stephen Graham. Yeah, I'd love Stephen Graham. Yeah, they're just quite boring answers, aren't they? But I would... Yeah, people that I like, I imagine. You get on so well with Ruby Wax this year.

21:38My God. You and her... I'm not even joking. You would be a hoot. A hoot? You'd be a hoot together. Is she good? Do we like Ruby Wax? How much is she the female version of Pete? whoever watches it. She's an old lady. She's an old lady, so to the point, literally doesn't care who she fucks off. She's literally like, nah, bullshit. Well, okay. Let's part that one. Okay. This is a, I feel like this is going to be a topical one. Okay. Do you believe in love at first sight, Sam? Yes. No. Oh. No, sorry. Here we go, strapping. No, well, no, the positive. Here we go, we've found it. The positive side of me was like, yeah, But I've never...

22:22But then the side that's been hurt so many times says no. No, it's not that. Do you know what? Nope, I don't. I think I do to a point, which is such a boring answer, but I think you can see someone and just be so wildly attracted to them. You're like, oh, my God, like, you're just so beautiful in my eyes. But then I think you've got to get to under the bonnet, you know? You've got to, not in a sexual way, as in you get under and see what they're like, see what their personality's like. And I feel like you've got to work at that, and that can't just be at first sight. So you went with yes, then no.

23:01Yeah. What are we settling on? We're saying no. We're settling on no. Yeah, because I think it's lust at first sight. Very nice. And then I think it's love after spending time. How long does it take you to fall in love? Difficult. Yeah, well, obviously different people, but sort of just an average.

23:20Interesting question. Just an average. You know, we're just taking the past, you know, just an average. Obviously, it differs depending on the people. They're all different and not remotely identical to each other. How long does it take to form a love? Not that long. Not that long. Not that long, yeah. Sort of what are we talking? Just sort of on average. Probably about three months. About three months. Three months. I think you can tell in about three months. I think you can tell him about three months yeah when did we do the O2? I think that's I think that's like a good barometer because you spent enough time with that person you've you know maybe gone on a trip with them or something as well and like you I feel like you know that person well enough and you can see yourself with them forever if you love them three months for me what about you?

24:12do I believe in love at first sight? yeah no same with me Yeah, it's lust at first sight. You can't love someone on looks alone. Love isn't, you know, the foundations of love aren't built on aesthetics. And then how long does it take Pete Wicks to fall in love on average? Well, at 37, it's not happened, so no. Long time. How long? Because I don't, well, to be perfectly honest with you, if I'm really, really honest, I don't necessarily know if I know what it is. Do you know what? So maybe it's quick and I don't mean it doesn't take me very long to really like someone feel very protective and to really deeply care about.

24:54Yeah, because if you are genuinely a good person and genuinely, it doesn't necessarily mean that that person is necessary for me. But then I will always be there. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And I think that is a form of love. I think there was a significant difference between being in love and loving someone. Do you know what I think the love is, right? Look at me and Pete. We are the least fucking experienced people to be talking about. Like we're Paul fucking Brunson. I don't know what you're talking about. We couldn't be less educated in this field if we tried. I don't know. You've been in love a lot.

25:36I'm yet to achieve. I think I reckon that love for me would be someone that you feel so wildly comfortable around that you are your uttermost self but that pushes you to achieve the dreams you want to achieve but also more importantly than anything will be with you in your lowest moments, be with you in your highest moments and with you on Italian night. Me on Italian night But also, I think, you come home after a really long day and the only thing that will make you feel better is by being with that person. I think that is love. Wow. I think. It's a really positive outlook on something that if we'd have asked you that six months ago, we wouldn't have got.

26:26You would have got. Doesn't exist. Something's changed.

26:32Okay, nice, nice. So we both agree then we don't believe in love at first sight. No, not at first sight. Okay. All right. Fine. Well, you know, there's no easy way to segue into when am I going to meet your bird?

26:49I've asked you loads. Yeah. Well, no. Okay. Let me just ask. Let me just. I asked to bring on the team night out. There we go. Pete said no. Let me just point out the two times. Will you go skiing with my sister and her boyfriend, me and my new bird? Or the staying with a Christmas party, can I bring my bird? the answer to both no just wanting people to meet her no so yeah but that's quite an intense thing based on the fact that no one else is bringing their partners i accepted it i didn't fire it i went okay so it's staying relevant night out there is no partners involved in that however i did say we could organize a partners evening for people's partners and me i'd quite like you just to be at the pub.

27:32I'd like it to, I would like me, her, you at the pub. Quite intense for her because that, that, that, that is going to be an interview. Oh, I would love it. I would fucking love it. It wouldn't be an interview though. Yeah, it'd be so great. All right, well, over a couple of Guinnesses, I need to, you got me, I would introduce you to, I would need to introduce you to anybody, and this is serious, anybody I was with. Like not even the girl that I'm with. You don't need to. Yeah, I would. I said hello on FaceTime. No, that's not the point. I need my best mate to be part of that life as well. Fine, I'll come to the pub.

28:08Nice. Okay. So, a little bit there. We don't believe in love at first night, but you can grow to love someone. On average, for Sam, around three months. I'm a lover. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for... I love hard. Yeah. So, on average, around three months. Started dating in September. And I haven't yet met Peep.

28:32properly but there is a pub excursion happening um and then i will be sure to give you the lowdown um and vice versa we probably need her to make some notes as well on what on the pub excursion oh right so you know if you could just get her to make notes you can then read out her notes and then i will give my trip advisor probably would do that if you want a feature in the podcast email hello at srproductions.co.co great with you do all that crap you know it's gone by now we love you so much see you later not that i want to commit a crime but i really like the idea of that quite fun do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one for example but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization?

29:25Well, it's easier than you think. We're ACAST, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget, and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise.

29:53Hello Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.