Pete's secret talent is revealed

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1:38Welcome to Staying Relevant, the podcast hosted by two best friends, myself, Sam Thompson, and Peter James Wicks, the bonus episode. Yes, this is the bonus episode, which means it's Thursday. Wednesdays, you'll be able to watch this on Josh's YouTube channel on a Sunday. And then Monday's main episode is now out on YouTube, which came out yesterday, which is a Wednesday. So that means you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. I appreciate that's the only time you're going to have that this week because I forgot to do it in the main episode, which has upset me greatly. I'll be honest with you, I'm not going to be able to get through this episode thinking about it.

2:17As this is the bonus episode, it is mostly about you. If you want to get in contact with us, then email hello at srproductions.co.uk, which is still the least favourite fucking thing in the world. I despise it with a fucking passion and every inch of my being. But hey-ho, get in contact. Whilst we're doing an episode that is mostly about you, there are a couple of things that we need to get through beforehand. A little bit of housekeeping. A little bit of housekeeping. Well, it's not really housekeeping, it's announcements. Announcements that involve us. That involve us because we didn't get through them in the main episode because we spent an awful long time, if you heard, on Monday talking about Love Island.

2:56But this is huge. We'd like a drum roll, please. Three, two, one. We're hosting the NTA. You're not doing it, right? No, no, because I was going to do a slightly bigger, different build-up, but do yours first. Well, we're hosting the NTA's red carpet. We're doing the NTA's red carpet for the second year running, but we're also doing the Pride of Britain red carpet for the third year running. Yes! So, yes, we are still on the red carpet. No idea why they keep asking us back, but we are doing that. It's going to be very, very interesting. We've actually got a photo shoot for it soon, which is going to be very exciting.

3:35So be prepared for the behind-the-scenes footage of Sam bringing his new glam squad with him because I'm sure that will be lovely. I mean, NTAs, it's a big night. Pride of Britain, big night. but NTAs is kind of the more fashion type one. The Pride of Britain is our favourite night of the year and it's such an incredible thing but it doesn't matter what you wear to that. That's just about people. It's about the winners of that. The NTAs is more kind of what are you wearing? So. Fucking yes, mate. I can't wait. Well, I'm just wondering now because you are kind of, you know, a bit of a big deal.

4:09You know what I mean? Like you've spent a lot of kind of money on maintenance and outfits and all that sort of stuff and you've really upped your fucking style game. Well, you've got a little velvet number, but what is it about kind of red carpets that you enjoy? Are you going to, you know, branch out? But mate, we're not doing red carpet. We're hosting the fucking red carpet. Yeah, so, but we're on a red carpet. So it's not like, sorry, when you host the red carpet, you also have to get dressed for the red carpet. Yeah, we have a very good point. Yeah, yeah, true. I'm just going to black tie.

4:37I'm going to be super chill. I'm just going to, the black velvet that you told me to wear and buy. So I'm getting that. and and it's that I'm looking forward to this more than I think I've looked forward to most things this year and I don't know why but I genuinely feel like it's going to be fucking phenomenal I feel like we found our feet last year we didn't we were sort of all over the place you know we were singing with Thor and Oak and Shield we weren't I was singing with Thor and Oak and Shield thank you but I think this year I think we deserve to be there this year which is amazing because I feel like we absolutely do not deserve to do anything we do Are you nervous for what we're going to be like?

5:15Yes. Why? Yeah. Between that and Love Island, sleepless nights at the minute. No, I'm not nervous. We've done it before. It is what it is. It's chatting to a few people on the red carpet, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it'll be fine. Last year was fun. When I say fun, I would rather be drunk. Oh, I love it. Pete's going to carry a flask in his pocket, though, this time around. so it just means he can sort of keep a little bit, you know. Yes, when he says flask, he doesn't mean sort of a thermal because I'm getting to the age now where I've got bovril in it. I mean sort of, yeah, you know, I'm planning and just, you know, keeping myself hydrated.

5:54I just think it's going to be good. I think we can pluck people off the red carpet now. Before, we're having people like get moved towards us. Oh, so what you're excited about is that now, because of everything you've done this year, people will know who you are. I think we now can go and get people ourselves. I feel like you, people will know who you are and they will still go, I hope he's not with that hairy little fella. I don't know if that's true, Pete. I think you're just telling yourself incredibly short there. I'm going to run down that fucking red carpet, finding people and fishing them into our little space.

6:22Fishing them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, do you think you're going to have more luck than when we did it last time? Or actually the first year we had anything to do with the red carpet when I was there as a cameraman and Ant and Dec just avoided you? At this point, really, they should be coming straight up to you. anyone else you're specifically looking forward to seeing? Vicky McClure? I mean, mate, she's already stealing my fucking. Cause she's already said to me when we were a soccer age, she went, I cannot wait to see you and Pete at the NTAs. I mean, I honestly just love her. She's just one of the most amazing people ever.

6:55So yeah, excited about seeing her. You're going to get all the usual kind of suspects there. Yeah. Fucking NTAs, baby. We're doing it again. Was that the only bit of maintenance? No, there's another bit of maintenance actually a little bit more of a serious nature. This one. I went on Pete's other podcast man made earlier this week. So this is a very good point. Actually. Can I just quickly explain this? I turn up lovely set. Didn't know what to expect. Don't know what Pete to expect either, because obviously we're, you know, we're used to sort of like staying relevant and all this kind of stuff.

7:34And, you know, me and Pete, we joke around quite a bit and we don't, we don't necessarily always talk about serious things. So I sit down with Pete, motherfucker's a therapist. He's a fucking therapist. He literally sits there, told me about myself for about an hour. I went, why are you like that? Mate, cornered me, cornered me for a fucking hour. And he's like, you do this, you do this, you do this. Why are you like that? Why are you built like that? I'm literally sitting there going, fuck I don't know I left that fucking thing feeling so great and feeling so like like light and I'm sure we'll get into it a little bit more but that was just my experience from it I thought you were I thought you were brilliant on that and I'd start talking about things I don't think I've ever spoken about before not once was a joke cracked yeah that is true Sam Sam turned up very different to how I expected.

8:28No, mate, honestly, thank you for doing it. You were incredibly vulnerable, which I think makes you incredibly uncomfortable. Weirdly enough, I actually think Sam is more, or finds it more difficult to talk about them things when it's about him. He wants everyone else to open up, but doesn't particularly like doing it himself. He knows me so well, he's literally zoned in. I think it was great, and I really appreciate you doing it. I mean, you've interviewed me before. You've interviewed me on your radio show on Hits. And I'll be honest with you, it started weird because you asked me if I was feeling very piratey.

9:07That was sort of the - What dinosaur you'd be. And what dinosaur I'd be. This was slightly different to that. How was it being - Because it's the first time I've interviewed you. Other than this morning when we did your challenge. Mate, it was from the moment we fucking started, I was like oh my god this is so fucking intense but like not in a bad way it was it would make you know what because it was I'm sort of putting myself back in that headspace now to be fair it was actually really beautiful I I I really really liked it I've got to say I really really did I thought you you're fucking you you get into the heart of what people are like um I hate talking about I believe it or not I actually don't like talking about myself all that much and uh and and And you, because Pete knows me so well, he literally would be like, but I know that's not true.

9:56And I'm like, fuck, I can't even dance around him. And like, it was the most raw thing that I think we've ever discussed. So if you fancy listening to it, it was definitely something we don't normally do. And what I will say is you should definitely listen. And not just because it's my podcast, but because actually I think you'll see a side to Sam that I think people need to see because it's a really beautiful part of him. Obviously we all love him because he's funny and, you know, we spoke about it a little bit on the thing. He's kind of like, you know, that guy that everyone wants to be around because he's so happy to be around.

10:26But actually my favourite thing about him is that he's incredibly vulnerable, intelligent and emotionally not secure. But his softer side is my favourite part about him and I don't think you get to see that very often. I think you'll see glimmers of that in the pod. It's very, very different to Stan Relevant, very different. so honestly thank you for for doing that my pleasure it's my honor it's um it's a lot a lot of people you were the most requested person was i yeah you know we we asked people who want on the pod and i think people expected you to be on anyway somewhere near the beginning and i didn't want you on the pod when we first started because i don't think you were in the right headspace and as i said then and i believe it now you're in such a great place at the minute and you're you've done so many amazing things that I am I think you are the perfect person to to be on that pod that's you know I think you're such a such a lovely thing to say but I also think that's actually very true I think I would I would you're so right it wouldn't be the right time at the start of year I was all over you know we all know reasons and stuff but I was all over the gap and uh yeah it was it felt very right so yeah it was it was awesome so thank you for having me and yeah give it a listen uh don't yeah don't hate on me if it's bad no one's gonna hate on you and if you do um if you do hate on him then don't ever listen to anything i ever fucking do again yeah because he's my brother but keep listening to this because you know we we we love you on the on this one don't need you now we've won the awards no kind of completely more but talking about you we have emails we're back to staying relevant now and um you have emailed hello at srproductions.co.uk i can hate it even more when you say it it makes it worse because Because when I say it, I imagine it in your voice.

12:13And then when I actually hear it in your voice, it makes me want to die. Obviously, I'm filming for dog's sake at the minute. And, you know, I walk into different scenes with different vets and different people. And it's become a running joke that I've got a hello now. Hello? It's so true. I hate it because now I do it. And I literally watch like my camera guys like Mel and that go. But that's when you see dogs. That's when you see dogs. No, that's what I say to the people. Oh, now you've moved on to people. Because worse than that, with the dogs, I do the same thing. It could be a 15-year-old Jack Russell with three legs, and I go, hello, puppy.

12:45And they're like, it's not puppy, is it? Pete used to be like, you're right, darling, to any girl or anything. As an older lady, you'd be like, you're right, darling, how are you? Yeah, I still do that. That sounded a bit creepy, but you'd say it sounded a bit weird. I still do that. You're right, darling. But I feel like I've reached the age now where it's appropriate. When sort of a 19-year-old goes, hello, darling, you think, well, I'll creep. When you're kind of nearly 40, it's sort of less weird, I feel. You're pushing 40. don't do you know what's worse is I sort of made a joke at my age for a long time but now people aren't surprised they go no you're not now people go yeah and now I feel bad I mean I started it and now I feel bad about it you're 30 fucking 7 yeah fucking wild it's 37 but anyway right emails do you want to crack on because it's a long one here we go we got Joey here hi Sam and Pete hello Joey thank you both they're not here they can't thank you both for keeping me laughing during a tough year of hospital visits with my lung issues.

13:41There were moments I didn't think I'd pull through, but you brightened those days up. Lately, I've noticed Pete getting flack for his lifestyle, but honestly, I think it's spot on. Maybe it's the hollow influence, but I completely get it. People can really get on your nerves. Anyway, I had to ask, has Sam ever done staple British things? Yes! Now we can't imagine Sam doing things. Yeah, I don't even know what's about to come either. Now I've worked to, okay, I'll just, let me just take this bit now. All right. So anyway, I had to ask, this feels like this is now a, can we imagine Sam doing? And I'm here for it.

14:13Anyway, I had to ask, has Sam ever done staple British things like a classic caravan holiday? You know the type, static van, seaside site, arcade, seagulls iron your chips and a mysteriously sticky show bar carpet. I bet Pete had his fair share of Clacton summers. But Sam, I picture more coconuts than caravans, thinking butlins was a disease and pontins a type of cheese. Joey, really like you. It's time to flip the narrative. Let's get Sam to a caravan park. Picture it. Josh feeding two peas into the machines. Didn't end well last time. Pippa battling the grabbers for a jelly cat. Sam leading a sweet Caroline sing-along in a polyester waistcoat.

14:49And Pete with a Guinness waiting for bingo. A holiday dream capped off with Pete's karaoke rendition of Fuck Off. Keep smashing it, you fantastic award winners. Hope to see you with sticks of rock soon. Best Joey. Love that Joey and I hope you're feeling better. But let's get on to this. Have you ever been on a caravan holiday? No. Of course you fucking have. Have you been on a fucking caravan holiday? I used to do caravan holidays as a kid all the time. And in Clacton, Frinton, the seaside town, St. Oseph's, all of them places used to go to the static caravan fucking homes. You'd go there, there'd be a clubhouse where all that sort of shit would go on.

15:26There'd be weird, forced fun activities during the day that even as a child I was miserable and didn't want to do. You get to go and play in the arcades like down at South End and you go to Frinton and you have all the arcade. I've been South End. I got punched in the bollocks by a kid. Yeah, let's go back. Yeah. Not for that reason. No, yeah, yeah. But a caravan, a typical old school staycation like that, I think it's fundamental to kind of growing up, especially if you don't grow up with an awful lot of things. They were fucking brilliant. Like, honestly brilliant. I used to love the kind of caravan stuff.

16:00and like sometimes as well like if you if you're cousins and that and like you you didn't really have a lot of money you'd have 12 of you in a three birth caravan and it'd just be like fucking hell like it just made nothing about it seems fun but for some reason as a child you found it quite fun and now looking back I mean I'll be honest with you I've done quite well for myself couldn't think of anything worse but still the memories at the time I would but also now I would love I would love would that be when you get your first kiss would you meet someone in a different caravan like two over and you'd be like, oh my God.

16:30Mate, I got my - Fucking tell you what, Amy in fucking Caravan 3.5. I got my first girlfriend on a caravan holiday. There we fucking go. You got your first girlfriend on a caravan holiday. Yeah, and I honestly thought I was in love with her. I thought I was going to marry her and I was about six. And it was just - Your first girlfriend at six? Well, like, you know, you think it's the kind of girlfriend. And yeah, I remember being there and I was just talking to mum and I just wanted to spend every day with this fucking girl. And it was, yeah, like, and it was just fucking brilliant. You know, you learn, And it was just fucking great.

17:00I would love to do that. I would love to do things that Sam's never done before. Let's go to a caravan holiday. I'd do that. Like, it would just be, can you imagine a staying relevant fucking caravan holiday? Very us, I feel like. We get a couple of fucking caravans. A couple of tennies. That's exactly the sort of thing. Because what you do in the caravan, because it's not like fucking catered. There's not restaurants. I mean, you get the clubhouse where you could get like fucking, you know, what you call basket meals. which is just a load of fried crap in a basket with a napkin across it. And it's literally a basket.

17:34And then you go and have the pints. You know what I'm talking about, Annalise, don't you? Yeah. So what you'd have to do, a lot of it is self-catering. So then you'd have to pop down fucking Tesco's. You'd have to pick up whatever's in the reduced aisle and fucking cook some sausages. And you'd have like a little gazebo outside. And you'd all sit there and have that. And a few bottles of white lightning. Even the kids were on it. I mean, I was fucked. Did you ever meet people from other caravans? Yeah, yeah. But it's so great for people watching because you've got the fucking family that are always rowing.

18:02You've got the family with the unruly... What's the family that are always rowing like? Oh, and you can hear it at night and the fucking... You know, they've been married for 20 years and they've spent 20 years of their life just constantly just calling each other a c***. It's brilliant. And then they're... Are you going to imagine Pete Souther Day chair loving this? It's like the sounds of birds to him in the countryside. And then you've got the really lovely couple who can't control their fucking kids and the kids are just running their feral little c*** and it's fucking brilliant. And they're just up there and they're playing Knock Down Ginger on the caravan and you can hear someone in the middle of the night going, will you fuck off?

18:35And then you've got the older couples that were there and you can kind of hear the caravan creaking because they're kind of 60 and it's their one trip away to St. O's and they've been for a walk down the beach and then they're talking about fucking getting shot on by a seagull. They're just, just fucking great. So maybe we should do a seaside holiday. I would love to do a seaside holiday. Maybe that could be, you know, I know we said when we had a production company it was kind of like, You know, if we think it's ain't good, we'll do it, you know. And I know there was talk initially, probably in all of your interviews, about if we want to go Maldives, we will.

19:02But fuck that. We're going Frinton, motherfuckers. Frinton. Frinton. Frinton. Yeah, Essex Coast. Fucking lovely. Annalise, you know Frinton. Yeah, fuck it. Frinton's fucking great. I'll book a couple of fucking caravans next door to each other. We'll have girls in one, boys in the other. It's just me and you, then. He's literally sat there. He's literally sat to your right. Ted. Ted as well. Oh God, do we share a loo? Yeah, but some of them, some of them, this is fucking brilliant. Because obviously some of the fucking caravans, depending on how much money you had that year, not all of the caravans have washing facilities in them.

19:39So you'd normally get a toilet and that's amazing because you'd all sit around this fucking futon, which has got like a, it's like a shag pile, fucking beige coloured, fucking like bench sofa with a little table in the middle. And then what happened, you'd have to sit there and you'd be playing cards because it's raining because it was always fucking raining. and then you'd sit there and then your fucking dad would pop to the toilet and just have a massive shit literally two feet away from when you were playing cards and they'd go, give that a minute and you'd have to open the fucking door and it was wild.

20:07So then what would happen

20:12is you'd have to go to the clubhouse where there were communal showers. That was a fucking experience. Was everyone naked? Oh mate, you'd have to trot across the car park in your fucking towel and your fucking flip flops go and have a shower take your own fucking head and shoulders and that, have a little wash and that, and you've just always got some old man with a pot belly covered in liver spots with his cock out in there. Just there. And it always used to make me laugh because you'd think, like, after you get out of the shower, what you do is cover yourself up, give yourself a little dryer, cover yourself up, put a towel around you, and if you're going to comb your hair, what's left of it, then probably just have the towel around you.

20:45No. What they'd do before is they'd stand in the mirror, cock out, just comb in your hair like that, and everyone else would be like, oh, sorry about that. Don't worry about me, mate. Yeah. And then put the towel on. We'll go and run. That's a nice piece you've got on you. Put the towel on for... No, mate, it's not caravan etiquette. Talk about someone else's car. What a lot. Mate, I'm just fucking trying to get involved, man. No, mate. Let me get involved. Let me learn. Yeah, we get arrested. I don't want to get arrested on this holiday. But anyway, so yeah, amazing. Anyway, I've spoken about that for too long.

21:11I would love, love, love to do that. That sounds really fun. It was a real blast from the past, that. Yeah, it's really good. I think we should all share a caravan. Girls and boys are obviously separate, but I think we should all go on a fucking caravan trip, make some sausages and have a great time. Joey, what a fucking email that was. Go on, you can do the next one. I know this one. This is from Sarah. And she goes, Hi, Sam and Pete. After last week's jelly shoe fail, which I'm still not over, I thought you'd find this hilarious. There's now actually a fan account dedicated to your outfit. It's called at Sam and Pete's clothes on Instagram.

21:45It gives a full rundown of where and what you've both been wearing recently. and honestly, I'm loving the detail. That said, Pete, I have to be honest, the zip up you wore on Gogglebox wasn't really my fave. Sorry, Gok Wan. I'm really looking forward to seeing more OOTDs. How does it feel to officially be fashion icons now? It feels like I'm not one. Well, by the sounds of it, mate, I mean, I'm certainly not. Everyone seems to hate what I'm wearing. But also, thanks ever so much, Sarah, for the email and your opinion. I couldn't give two fucks whether you liked it or not. Well, clearly no one else does because Sam and Pete's clothes have 23 followers.

22:1923 followers. But, yeah, I'll be honest with you, not great. I bet my mum's one of them as well. I fucking bet you anything she's liking. Well, she doesn't need to know. She still buys you clothes. No. Listen, I certainly am not a fucking fashion icon, as we can all testify to, based on the fact that all of you fashion icons that obviously listen to her statement. And bear in mind, those of you that do comment, Trust me, I look at your profiles. Come on. Do you know what I love? Is when I get taken to piss out for wearing my little Gucci belt, if you're an OG listener, you'll know what that is, and I get sort of like, I get taken down a peg or two, I sort of just take it and I go, I'm at fair play.

23:01Pete fucking hates it. You tell Pete he don't like what he's wearing, he will look at your profile and stare at you and be like, well, you've got a fucking toupee. No, no, no, no, no. Have you?

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25:00I don't know why two breakable. No, I... You hate it. No, it's not that I hate it. It's that when people who don't know you feel the... Do you know what my favourite one at the minute is? Grow your ear back. I honestly got that from a 60-year-old woman with a short back and sides. It's just like, if a stylist went to me, I'm not really keen on that. I'll go, right, okay, absolutely. But when I'm looking and I'm thinking, come on. Come on now. I put up a post the other day about how wonderful it was that we'd changed the fucking law to do the puppies and someone point, no, I'm not keen on that haircut.

25:37Mate, dude, I had the exact same thing. But realistically, mine was actually the, I always get about my hair colour now. No, not now. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, mate. I get hundreds of messages being like, oh, move it back, blonde, move it back, blonde. You look terrible. You look like a vampire. Move it? What do I want you to just reverse it off and reverse and fucking drive the other one back? Move that. Yeah, fuck it. Come on, come on. Move it. Back it out, back it out, back it out. I tell you, mate, but I was on this morning. This is two days after I just raised two million for fucking thingy.

26:08I've got to say, though, on that one, from the picture that I saw, that's why I called you Elvis. It was fucking dark. But I haven't had it dyed since then. So that's how long it stayed. I think it looks fucking great right now. But this is the thing. Mate, my hairdresser, Jonathan, called me after that, nearly in tears, being like, I'm getting hate for your fucking hair colour. And I went, don't worry, man, it's going to be okay. Like it's going to settle down. We'll get through this together. There's only a fucking hair colour. No, it is mad. And listen, we, personally, you know, the opinions on, you know, our appearance, fucking you just keep going with it.

26:47Clearly we're not better. But you just keep going with it. But I am looking back. Now this one I'm actually going to read again because it's about Pete. Hi, Sam and Pete. I wanted to email. Why don't people leave me alone? What have I done now? No, this is a lovely one. Oh, I was talking about people the other day and his pants were horrible. I didn't know where you were going there when pants got... Fuck off again. I asked Sam and Pete, I wanted to email and tell Pete that I saw him in the M11 today. There was a huge traffic jam and it was moving super slow. I saw someone look at my car out the corner of my eye and then when I looked to the left, I saw a tattooed arm smoking a cigarette out of their car window.

27:20I sped up and looked over and it was Pete Wicks. I tried to speed up a wave and say hello, but you turned off. For someone who drives a fast car, you didn't speed too much. Congrats on your sensible and safe driving skills. thanks Abby in a blue Ford Puma. Oh, the blue Ford Puma. No, don't pretend you fucking know. But Pete does love a f***ing a car. Loves it. Yeah, it's probably... Do you know what? It's one of the only times where I'm not really doing anything other than just fucking driving, obviously. Tunes were a-going, I'm sure. I want to get a Tesla. You are exactly the sort of person that I imagine would drive a Tesla.

27:56Why, why, f***? Sorry, we're done with my conversation now. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. it's fine. I understand the capacity, the capacity when we go through these scripts is, is sort of what we'll do is it's a 75 % Sam conversation. And then we'll whack on something that's happened during the week as well. Exactly the sort of person that would drive a Tesla. What do you mean? But I also, and I don't know how much you want to do this because it's sometimes, and I feel as your best mate, I have to call you out on these things. You don't want a Tesla. No one wants a Tesla. Why? What kind of person drives a Tesla?

28:30I have to be really careful what I say here. But I'll tell you what type of person. A virgin and someone who is unbelievably unhappy in their marriage and hates their children. All right? That's the sort of person that drives a Tesla. Why are you throwing the kids in there? Because you're having to throw them in the back of a Tesla. One of my favourite things is there will be a mum or a dad on a commute right now with their kids in the back, dropping their kids off at school in a Tesla, and they've had to turn it down. Or it's a self-righteous fucking person that goes, you know, it's electric, man.

29:01It's electric. That's exactly what I was going to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. It's great. It's great. Listen, I try and do all sorts of different things for different things. You couldn't give two fucks about climate change. Let's be honest. You've never mentioned it. You couldn't give two fucks about the environment. Let's be honest. You've never mentioned it. Maybe you do secretly and you just hold it all inside and now it's coming out in a Tesla. I don't know. But they're not fun to drive electric cars. there's nothing listen they're very zippy zippy but I'm sorry and I'm probably going to get loads of hate for this I just don't see it I know that's the way the world's going and whilst we're still able and allowed to drive a car fucking drive a car and you know who wants a go-kart I'm sorry well there you fucking have it it's a Tesla for Thompson not getting in the Virgin Mobile yeah here we go if I picked up a girl in a Tesla what do you think well I mean you've got a range of different Teslas You've got the, like, really uncool ones, and then you've got the seriously uncool ones trying to be cool, like the ones with the gold wing doors.

30:02Yeah. Honestly. You're a girl, right? Thank you. And I'm a boy. Okay. And I've picked you up in a Tesla. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've just got, wait, wait, wait a minute. Press the button. It's very tax efficient. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously, you have to think about them sort of things because, you know, watch the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves, eh? They will indeed. Ah, Tesla, man. We should both get Teslas. We both buy each other a Tesla. Yeah, yeah. Buy me a Tesla and watch me drive it off a cliff. With both of us in it. No, no, no. I'll jump out. Right. Finally, question time.

30:43Da-da-da question time. So if you are going to reply to the questions and do all the other crap that we do every week, then make sure you're following our socials, which is at Staying With Them. podcast um so do you want to start us off yeah absolutely so pete again this one is you're an all-rounder uh on paper going to the gym getting into your fashion you're also bilingual apparently uh someone caught up on goggle box the other night and apparently you speak french we're all dying to hear more so we created a mini test for you um i have him on my phone what do these what do these voice notes say

31:38shoes bad shoes so yeah bad my your shoes are a fucking disaster honestly that is fucking brilliant So I'm going to be really honest. Obviously, we said it on Googlebox. I don't speak fluent French. Well, mate, can I just tell you what you just translated? I do no bits of French. Honestly, I have absolutely catastrophic taste in shoes. All right, what about this one?

32:11Do it again.

32:22One more for luck.

32:32Your hair, mullet, is... What's the last bit? You're not going to get the last one because it's like a bit of a slang. I'm going to tell you because you're close enough to fucking know that. It's to do with your hair. Your mullet is bad. I think Sam's mullet haircut is a bit lame. A bit lame. Yeah, I thought it would. So, yeah, go on. This is fucking mad.

33:05I mean, it's obviously Jelly Cats because I heard Jelly Cat and I don't think there was a French translation for that. Do it one more time for me.

33:18So the last bit is I think they're wonderful Or I think they're amazing So it's you I can't believe you don't like jelly cats Because I think they're amazing No but close enough If anyone touches my jelly cats I will start a war They're my absolute treasures Pete fucking Wicks everyone That is absolutely wild. So I can get by with French stuff because you can pick out, like, weird enough, I just remember certain parts and certain words from... Didn't expect that at all. I'll tell you why, is I used to date a French girl for a fair amount of time and you just pick up random crap. So I can't speak, but I can roughly understand where you'll get, I can get by.

34:02Next question, because I know you need to run off. What kind of stag do would you plan for each other? Well, I imagine it's just going to be you because I'm going to die alone, remember? The chances of me ever getting married are so slim. For you, it depends really because it depends if I'm being selfish and just want a nice night for myself or if I want to do something. No, what would I love? What would you love? Yeah. The problem is a stag do wouldn't be a night for you because what you would love is a week away because in a week away we can do all of your favourite things and even I would have to be part of your favourite things, which makes me quite angry.

34:36So we'd start the week slow, which would mean that I would book us into a golf resort for a couple of days for you and all your friends so that we can play golf and have that kind of bonding thing in the evening where you just get pissed in the resort and you just do that. We'd then move on to the kind of more extravagant stuff. I would probably plan an activity that you'd never done before because it's a bonding experience for everyone, so everyone would enjoy doing that, and then that's when the party part would start. And the party part would be an absolute disgraceful couple of days where you don't have to put your fucking hand in your pocket whatsoever.

35:15I wouldn't dress you up and do all that sort of crap just because I think it's quite wankerish and overdone. I would just want to make sure that you had the best possible time. But I would want it to last for a week because I'd want all the people that couldn't necessarily come to the whole thing. And also, if I'm really honest, you know, luckily for me, and for you is all of your friends are incredibly rich. But for those that... So there's kind of no holds on it. But for those that couldn't, I would pay for them to be there if I knew you wanted them there. Bloody fucking hell. You're going to make me cry.

35:51I want to get married. I have to get married. I want that fucking stag so badly. Are my birthdays coming up? No. The stag do was the question. No, mate, I would love to fucking do that for my birthday. but yeah but saying that it might have been me that would be organising it who knows if I would be the best man no no no no with that with that you are fucking I felt like that was potentially my application for best man no that was the best stag do I've ever heard in my life for you I would get it'd just be a celebration that someone finally agrees I would get I would get all of my so called rich friends together oh excellent so on my stag do you'd invite all of your rich mates no we'd put all of our money in a pot I mean to be honest the stake do for me would be quite easy because the only people who would be there would be me and you basically it's just it's a holiday together nah I know what I'd do I actually know what I'd do it's a bit more bit more for you I would it would be over a week again and I would actually I would learn to ride a motorbike and I would then get some of your biker gang and just other mates who ride bikes no listen to it let me learn just like to point out I'm not in a gang No, like your bike, your bike, your, your bike, your bike, your bike, your bike, your mates.

37:07And I get some of them. And then also some of your mates, you ride bikes and stuff. And, and, and we, and then the ones who can't, we'll just fly to the destination anyway. And we would ride through France or Europe or wherever we're going to ride to and stop off at loads of different places. And, uh, you take lead. Um, and, and, and, and cause you like being in charge and you like fucking, and you like, I'd give him the mic so he can make sure he'd give us all numbers on our fucking bikes and i'd and we'd all ride but i wouldn't tell you i'd pass my bike driver's license well i turn up with everybody on my fucking harley and literally we go all the way down we'd end up in in like a in like an ib4 marberra or like a sanchez or somewhere like that and finish it off there that's what we'd do do you know what's mad is we've actually answered them pretty logically and seriously and that that would probably make me cry yeah that would actually be really beautiful because that's that that is actually something i would i would love to do uh so so yeah that that's what i'd do i and if i was being serious and sentimental that was what i do and that's where i'd be my application and do you know what and then i'd like to marry you how fucking what i don't know i will not me oh god i didn't realize it was sorry sorry when i i sorry i got the the wrong end of the stick here i imagined we were both marrying other women i didn't realize that it was a joint stag do where we marry each other at the end i didn't realize Now that you've explained that, fuck my life.

38:24I would like to learn my priesthood and then marry. You'd like to be ordained. I'd like to be ordained. You don't need to learn your priesthood. You can't just become ordained. I'd like to be a vicar and I would like to fucking, and I would like to marry you with whoever you're marrying. I would fucking love that. Yeah, but remember I do a podcast with you and obviously I work with you quite a lot. The ceremony would last three days. Why? Because I can't remember my lines. No, no, no, mate, because you'd start it and go, so we gathered here today. Funny story. Did you know, right? And then everyone goes, Jesus fucking Christ.

38:59By the end of it, I'd be sat down in one of the fucking pews with me wife just going, it's all right. It's all right. That'd be fine. I know, I know, I know. Cancel the sit down. We'll just go straight to the buffet. Anyway. I'd love to fucking marry you so much. Okay, again, he means all day. just in case we're all confused about that. Would you rather always have to sing instead of speaking or only be able to whisper everything forever? Personally, I would love it if everyone else could only whisper so I could never hear them. And the same for me. I'm not a big fan of noise. I would love Pete to sing every sentence he said.

39:41I would love Pete to sing every sentence he said. Would you rather win Love Island, put your partner dumps you on the flight home, or be dumped off the one? It's a shame we spoke so love on Love Island, so I'll tell you what we'll do to finish the day. We'll speak about Love Island. So would I rather win Love Island with my partner and get dumped on the plane home or just spend a week there? I mean, I think it's fairly obvious for me. Just a week there, because a week is more than enough. It's a lovely little holiday out of a lovely time. It's been great. I just didn't find the connection. Now I can go home and continue with life as if it never happened.

40:11Pete's now talking about the pod. And I'll be honest with you, I am. I'm off to Scunthorpe. Thanks for listening. Have a lovely fucking night, day, whatever you're fucking doing. tune in next week follow us stay relevant podcast follow Josh's YouTube channel because we're nearly at Sam's plaque party keep up to date with all of Sam's treatments in next week and we'll catch you soon send our kids I've got I've got I've got I've got profiler coming up next week actually who's that this has been a staying relevant production hey it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad and this episode is supported by Rothy's the brand famous for chic, comfortable flats.

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43:21Hello Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. and possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.