Pete's thoughts on Strictly...

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1:42Welcome to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode hosted by two best friends, Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph Wicks, and me, Sam Thompson. Welcome. I will be swearing if you don't like it go this is Thursday which means it's the bonus episode so you'll be able to watch this on Sunday on Josh's YouTube channel Monday audibly the main episode came out and you can watch that already on Josh's YouTube channel because it came out last night which is Wednesday which means that you can catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday make sure you rate, review follow us on socials all the usual crap that you know by now this is the bonus episode which we'd like to make about you so if you'd like to feature in this and you would like to get in contact with us about anything just keep it interesting otherwise you will be deleted then you can email us on hello at srproductions.co.uk I don't have a clue what's happening today Yeah, I am leading this plane or flying this plane so that's a good start, wasn't it?

2:50I'm flying this plane I'm the pilot for you today It couldn't be more Stan Reddivant if you tried. We are on a record day and we didn't charge the iPads. So we are just on the one iPad and Sam is the captain of this fucking ship. So look forward to this. Look forward to listening to us sync. Well, to be honest with you, I thought in true Sam Thompson style, we're going to start with a big one. Okay. No one has ever thought the way to start as Sam Thompson is to start with a big one. Start with a big one. No one has ever said that. We're starting with a big one. Okay. Okay, prepare yourself because this will be bite-sized.

3:24Do you remember? Well, I don't actually know. One of it's quite girthy, actually. I'm confused. Is this a question or your cock? Well, get your chops around this. Again, is this a question or a cock? Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, right, we had someone write in who works for a sex toy company and they were sort of like talking about the right, the rose thing. Yes, yeah. And the fleshlight as well. Well, guess what? They sent us a staying relevant sex toy box. What do you mean we've got a staying relevant... It's a big fucking box. They're big fucking toys. I've already opened mine. I got a sex swing.

4:02What? Yeah. So inside yours, this is personalised. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean inside mine? We have separate boxes. We have separate boxes. So this is you, a Pete Wicks box full of sex toys. So this is what... So this is Harriet and Lucy have sent these two boxes in. but they are bespoke to us. Oh my God, you've got beer boobs. Because Pete loves beer and boobs. You've got beer boobs? Oh, give me a suck on these. Wow. Christ. Oh my Lord. Okay, so explain to me. So what I'm pulling out of the box right now are two what looks like suction pads that I imagine they've got nozzles on them and they're shaped like breasts.

4:47So what you can put in there is any sort of liquid of your choice. There you go. Okay, excellent. Get your mouth around that. It's actually got like a teat, like a baby's bottle. Oh, my God. Mmm, bitty.

5:03That's wild. I quite like it. I just bit it. Oh, I feel sorry for Karen. So you got some beer boobs? All right, beer tits, lovely. Oh, you got a rose. For my clitoris? No, they go, every dancer deserves roses. Okay, excellent. So I've got a rose, wonderful. Do you know what? It's lovely, isn't it, when you get sent all these presents and then your friend opens it all for you. Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you wanted to open your own sex toys. So just to recap then, when we spoke about this previously, we have now got a rose in, but we had the staying relevant rose expert, Josh. So a smaller rose, which is nice.

5:48smaller than I thought it'd be actually I thought it was a beast so just again if you could explain to me the rose and what I'm going to do with this I'm just thinking obviously precision and if you hit the right spot maybe a little north a little north a little north Josh explain this in layman terms for me so the rose is for precision a little bit north so a little bit north of what i would say sam a little bit north of sam no no no i'd say sam this is for info for sam because obviously pete knows what's going on you know where you like normally just go straight to because you know it might be a bit selfish yes yeah yeah a little bit north of that okay so so what i'm still confused and obviously you know this is a podcast josh as you know by now.

6:41So we need to really explain things. So the area... Yeah, don't put it in the vagina. Just go to the clip. There we go. Oh. That was... I'll tell you what that was. No wonder you say, that was precise. That was good. I enjoyed that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. Right. Well, I mean, that's great. Thanks ever so much to Harriet and Lucy for what I'm going to call the sort of Pandora's box of fun. Yeah. I got given a dildo. That's understandable. Was there a reason behind that? I can't remember. Oh, no, because I like Harry Potter, so I can do some spells with it with my own wand. Talk me through the sex swing.

7:21The sex swing's really enjoyable. I've actually just used it. Yeah, I mean, obviously, we set up this business of sort of like four boys. There is Josh, Ted, you and I, and half women. And what you decided to do with your box of sex toys was to attach the sex wing to the door in the office just before lunch and just splay yourself in front of everyone. Yes, I did. Just see if it worked. Just to make sure. So now... Is everyone okay? But no, it's the time out area now. So if everyone's just... If anyone's had a tough day, they just can go and sit on the sex wing. Right. Yeah. It's so comfortable.

7:58I'm not even joking. Honestly. I would be surprised if we don't make the Sunday Times best place to work with this. No, but you take the piss. I genuinely mean this. It's one of the comfiest things I've ever sat on in my life. It's got stirrups. Wow. It's in the corner there. So are you going to leave that just as sort of the office sex toy? That's the office sex swing now. You're not going to put it in your dungeon. We won't call it the sex swing. We'll call it the office swing, I think. Oh, did you think sex swing was too much? Yeah, I did, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this the office gag?

8:25Yeah.

8:29Excellent. Well, that is wonderful. Is this for the time out? Yeah. If you've been a real naughty boy, you go and sit on the office swing with the office gagging. Josh, I'm looking at you, you naughty boy. It's amazing, isn't it? Because just wherever we go, we cause chaos. All right. Well, wonderful. Who doesn't want to start a podcast, all right, listing sex toys that have been sent to an office full of women with two male bosses? For boys to rifle through and ask their staff what they do. Right. So we have an email from Bella today. And she goes, boys, I'm so excited to get my hands on the Staying Relevant book.

9:10But having listened to Pete's award-winning audiobook, I just wanted to check there would definitely be an audiobook. If so, have you started recording it? And how is it going? Thanks and love you. Up the GBU. That's some Bella. She's obviously from the Midlands. Obviously from the Midlands. Up the GBU. Audiobook. Yes, there's an audiobook. Oh, yeah. Yes, we've started it. Oh, yeah. There's a long story behind it, which we'll speak about at a later date, but it has been started. This is Sam's first audiobook. His first experience. Sam and I were in a studio for eight hours on the first day of audiobook recording.

9:56How was it for you, mate? Fucking loved it. Absolutely loved it, because you sit opposite each other when recording an audiobook, so I was just staring into Pete's eyes for eight hours whilst talking to him into a mic and he had to do the same to me. So actually, I've never felt closer to you than when I was doing the audio recording with you, just looking at you. Well, yeah, apart from sort of 15 minutes ago when you wrapped your legs around me on the sex swing.

10:25Anyway, what I will say about the audio book is we will be releasing, or we'll be telling you when the date of the book is going to be properly out very soon. It is on pre-order already, the actual physical version of it. But the audio book has got added extras in as well. So there is some extra stuff in the audio book that you don't get in the main book. So, because we're just constantly evolving, you know. Growing. We're just trying to, you know, think outside the box, think outside the book and do extra bits. But yes, the audio book will be on its way. but what I will say in fact no I'm not going to say it Sam what do you think of the book?

11:05I fucking love the book I absolutely love it because when you're doing the audio side to it you get to basically re-read it and it's really fucking good and I'm not just saying that I promise like buy it don't buy it but it's really fucking great I loved it yeah we've spent a lot of time on it mid you know all the other bits and bobs that we're doing so yeah it's going to be a good one can I ask you a hypothetical really quickly? oh yeah that's unusual for you but yeah of course well it's just it's just actually about the sex swing again if you don't mind oh excellent because whilst we were talking about we're just looping back well no I just thought to myself like what would you do because I know what I would do what would you do if you walked into a girl you'd be on dates with flat and she was like look I've got this can I put you in the sex swing but she said it earnestly and honestly I'm going to be honest I think this is another one of these situations where you are potentially confused who's supposed to be in the sex swing I think Yeah, anyone can.

11:59There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But I imagine if a girl said to me she had a sex swing, I would probably expect her to be in it. What if she asked you to be in it? Then I would say, I'm sorry, lady, but no. Why? Because my legs would be spayed across, and that gives me the impression that I am getting fucked. And that's kind of not for me. Who wants to see Pete in the sex swing? No, there is obviously... This is what it would look like. Yeah, so there's different ways that you can use the sex wing. None of those, by the way, is the man in the sex wing. Just so you're aware, if you look at it deeper, guys, I don't even need to look at this.

12:46This is the lady using the sex wing in multiple different ways to enable the man to penetrate her more deeply. Can we get... Oh, my God. Can we get you, by the end of today's recall, can we get you in the sex wing? Let's not do a Sam promise again because we have got a lot to do today. I think we should just think about it. I want to tell you what, the sex wing's not going anywhere. So we'll see. It's now the office swing. Well, exactly. And obviously it's not the sex wing. So if I need a timeout, then yes, I will put the gag in and jump in those stirrups. All right, lovely. Question time now.

13:21Question time. And we have three here that are absolute doozies. The first one is, if you had to read... Is that good? You say this quite a lot. I still don't understand. Doozies are like a big one. It sounds like a shit. I'm just having a doozy. But is that supposed to be a good thing? What does it mean? It's like a big... It's like, oh, this is a doozy. Is this a thing? Have you made that up? No, it's a genuine thing. This isn't a sand word? No, it's a genuine... Has anyone ever heard of doozy? I promise you, ask the listener. it's a thing all right right so if you had to rename the company now what would you call it if you had to rename the pods now it's actually a good question that because staying relevant is it's a bit of an off the cuff like if you would start a podcast now it's called staying relevant it's not like the most you know if you would start a podcast now called staying relevant i'd sue you this to think well yeah that's a very good point but normally now when people start podcasts they try and make it like really like like clever do you know i mean they're like they always have to be clever and have like a hidden meaning and stuff like that are you regretting the decision to call it staying relevant is it not clever enough no i really like it because i think it bucks that trend like i think that it's just so just random staying relevant there should never be a podcast in the top five podcasts in the country called staying relevant you've got like diary of a ceo yeah Begin again.

14:43Begin again. Politics. Yeah, you've got the rest. The rest is politics. What do you mean the fucking rest is? It doesn't even make any sense. Yeah, we're staying relevant. It makes loads of sense. The rest is politics. And then you've got the need to talk. Then you've got staying relevant. Hosted by two best friends. Bear a ****. Oh, there you go. You've answered it for me. If I was to rename the company, I'd call it Bear a ****. Bear a **** limited. All right, production company, Pair of C***. That is such a good name for a podcast. Hey, you're listening to Pair of C*** with me, Sam Thompson and Pete Wicks.

15:22There you go. Next question. Oh, my God, I love that. Who are you? Who are you? That's fucked me. Now, that is a vague one. So, I'm Pete Wicks, originally started on TOWIE, done multiple shows over the years. You may know me from Strictly. Sam, who are you? My love about that is you've just gone from... So, welcome to Paragraph. Who are you? Go on then. So, who are your hear-me-outs?

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17:58So do you want to hear me out? No. So it's a TikTok trend where basically it's somebody that you, it's somebody, he's rocked his head back everyone. So it's somebody that you would consider quite fit that other people probably wouldn't. And you've got to explain why. So it's like, it's so like, for example, recently, actually I've seen a couple of Sam hear me out, which is quite nice. What, what does that mean? It means that people don't necessarily think you're good looking, but like, but you, so you have to explain why they are. Mate, me and you are the epitome of hear me out. We are literally the hear me outs.

18:37It's one of these, no, no, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out, let me land. Last year on tour, I said a couple of rogue things on stage, which I genuinely stand by. And that is that I would absolutely fly through Mary Berry. Mate, she's fucking beautiful. In what sense? she's just there's something about Mary Berry you just think yeah I would oh hear me out hear me out I'm just saying you know age is nothing but hear me out mate age is nothing but a number alright she's got beautiful eyes she she bakes a good cake yeah like hear me out man okay fine who's my hear me out I don't know why for some reason I can just picture you saying hear me out The Rock

19:31Adele hear me out no but is that a hear me out now though because she's got I think she is quite fit yeah she's got that like east end sort of like little bit of venom oh so really for you the hear me out is that she's a bit rough and not really in your class I see what you mean like I'm going to lower the standards to a bit of a gut around rat. No, no. Hear me out, guys. Hear me out. The peasants are fit too. No. Yeah, no. Deal's a good one. I'll tell you another one. No, I've got a good one. Hear me out. Rebel Wilson. No, she's stunning. Mate, that's not a hear me out. That is, I'd let her shit on my chest.

20:11Mate, that's not a hear me out. Rebel Wilson. I mean, go on, let me hear you out. Zoe Kravitz. She's stunning. She's alright. That's not going, hear me out, guys. I don't know. I don't know. about you, but Rosie Hunters and Whiteley are saying about her. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is because I know she's a bit of a pig, but no, Zoe Cranks, she's stunning. All right. I don't think that's good. She would actually be in my, like, she'd be up there for me. Really? Yeah. All right, hear me out. Okay. Jim from, no, not Jim, Rosie from Rosie and Jim. Just Jim. I think we may have had a Freudian slip there.

20:54Hear me out, hear me out. Jim. Who's Jim? Three doors down, Jim. Rosie from Rosie and Jim, the puppet. Yeah. Okay. First crush. Your first crush was Jim. Rosie. Well, we haven't, listen, there's no need to define. Your first crush was on Rosie and Jim. I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't know how I feel about it. Okay Yeah Thank you In fact I'll tell you what We've done the Girls Give us a hear me out Yeah give us a hear me out Give us a boy Pippa Has anyone got a hear me out Maybe H the rapper Oh Oh That's a Okay Wow Alright I don't think he's a hear me out But people are surprised When I say I think he's fit People are like I wouldn't put you with him I was I was literally with him last week Ah Send him my way Why I was hard.

21:52Hear me out. Yeah, hear me out. Hear me out. What do you mean, why? I'm sorry, I've got to say hear me out. I don't like the accent. Don't mind the accent. Yeah. Does it bother you that he looks like a child? I think he does. I think he's older than me. Okay. I think. All right. H, the rapper. Interesting. We're going to do one more, and that's mainly because I've never seen the fucking girl move so quick. Annalise has shot across the fucking office. This is the biggest, hear me out. Where closer? Lightning McQueen. I don't know who that is. That's a fucking car, darling. Yeah, that's my first question.

22:30Go and sit back down. Type in Lightning McQueen. Mate, it's a little red car. What? It's a cartoon car. I don't think we want to hear you out. Sit down. Lightning McQueen, the fucking car from Cars. I mean, that is a real... That's sort of like a... I feel like that's the sort of hear me out, you tell a therapist. Hear me out, hear me out. I've got a fascination with cars. You're never giving me a lift, you fucking creep. That's wild. Yeah, all right. Here's a good one. Great. Lightning McQueen from Cars there, from Annalise. Nice. Do I have another hear me out? I quite like this game. Okay. Sort of lunch, though.

23:14I know, but I'm trying to think. All right. I mean, to be honest here, we could think about it over lunch and then come back and pick it up. Okay, fine. All right. Last, this is the last one. This is a bit more of a serious one. Eight inches. Guesses on who is going to win strictly.

23:35Don't go into like, Pete's about to go into like judging mode now. He's going to be like, well, I mean. No, listen, I can't judge the dancing. I was shy. Do you know what? my front runners and I'm going to say it not just because she's my mate but personality wise I think Vicky will do very well I think I think the the two young lads like the new replacement I think he's like an actor or something I imagine he's actors and that have normally always had like some sort of training he's good looking all the mums will love him so I think he'll do well the YouTube to be guy will probably because he's one of them that's got loads of fans and all the rest of it in terms of, so I think they'll do well probably.

24:19And Danny Dyer. You've named quite a few there. Because I, do you know what the problem is? Is that I, I, I, I don't know. Who do you think? Well, I don't think you can have Danny Dyer and Vicky in the same thing. One of them's going to have to probably go out before the other. Oh, sorry, Danny. Yeah. Well, because it's just, they're too similar. I think they're just too like, I mean, they've obviously gone way past reality TV, but like they're very similar in sort of like what they're known for. Yeah. So I think one of them is going to have to, I've obviously got to go with Vic because she's a friend of ours.

24:51So I'm, I'm always going to, and I do love Danny. Actually, Danny's lovely. I think it will also be Vic in the final. I think,

25:02I think that the, the actor guy might win it. The new one, the new replacement guy. Just because I think that he's really good looking. Yeah. He's super good. I would imagine he's probably had some sort of fucking training before. They normally do theatre school and all that. The mums are going to love him. And then maybe, like if he does win, he'll act in something we've heard of. Lewis Cope? Yeah. But, listen, it's unfair this year. Why? 100%. One of them has got, and I don't know who, an unfair advantage because they get to dance with you, Vita. Oh, fucking hell. So if anyone makes it to the final, I would love it to be Vic and Yvita.

25:52Do you know who Yvita's got? No. You're allowed to say yes, just don't say. Yes. Wow. With who Yvita's got, are you thinking they're going to do well? No. I mean, no. But whoever, genuinely, I always think Yavita's got a chance at anything because she's fucking amazing. And if she can get me to a semi-final, whoever she gets this year is an improvement on where she started last year. Yeah, it's a very good point. So do you know what I mean? Are you going to be going to any of the live shows? Because obviously Vic's going to be... I am going to the first live show. Yeah. Because as you know, because you went to the last one, that's always a pleasure.

26:37But yeah, I'll be going as much as I can. are you going to come with me? I'll come to the first one if she wants to if Vic will have me there when it gets to the latter rounds no because it's the longest thing I've ever been involved in in my life if I didn't adore Pete I would have probably hit my head against the chair I've never been say what you think mate no he is right it is long you have to sit there for like six hours it's not like it's not like sort of a 24 hour flight to Australia for three weeks. I said, I didn't love you there. No, because you were performing. I was in. If I was watching sort of like not my brother.

27:16I've never really watched the show. Do you know what I mean? So I... Buckle in, mate. Yeah, well, this year I'm going to be going. And obviously I've got the people that I'm, you know, interested in. Because someone else I know really well was doing it. Chris Robshaw, who's a really lovely guy. So there's obviously people that I'm in. But to sit through, like, especially in the first week, to 15 of them and you know I'll have to like they'll put me near the near the end you'll have to go for the front like front row or whatever and if that's the case I'm going to be so conscious of not looking bored I'm going to have to perfect this kind of yeah yeah alright cool so that's that's your your thing on Strictly I definitely will go if Vic invites me I'd love to be there for at least one of them that'd be nice well because Yovita's invited us as well oh lovely yeah yeah yeah so So, yeah, 100%.

28:07We're going to be going and we're going to be supporting the people that we like. Slay queens. Okay, great. Well, that was the bonus episode piloted by me, Sam Thompson, with an iPad-less Pete Wicks. I hope you've enjoyed yourself. We've had sex toys, roses, dildos. We've had mouth gags. Ellen, I'm just in the pod. Bye, then. Is that Helen? Helena? No, that's Ellen. Helena? What's that, Helena? Yeah. I wonder what Helena's doing. Yeah, yeah, no, no. He's got an hour or so today. You can sit on his face. Get old Helen. I don't know why I did that. We're saying goodbye. Well, actually, do you know what?

28:43Just really quick, just to sort of pipe in. All the love on is that they've started to announce who their agents are. If you've noticed over the past couple of weeks, a lot of them were like, it's like a big deal. So they were all with their various names. It's a good segue that, Sam, because as if we haven't announced enough, we are now staying relevant talent management. Sam personally managing Helena I'm not, I'm not Not No, because that will Some will actually think that's real Lots of love, all the best, Godspeed For all that you're doing and all your endeavours Lunchtime This has been a Staying Relevant production So you're not worried about hosting the whole family for the holidays?

29:26Why would I be? Wayfair had everything I needed to get the house holiday ready What if Mike brings his cheerful dogs? My tree has tons of five-star reviews telling me how sturdy it is. But what if everyone's plus one brings a plus one? We'll see how extendable this extendable table really is. And extra chairs are on the way. Okay. What if there's a blizzard and everyone has to sleep over? Ready to go with extra bedding and towels. From guest-ready essentials to holiday decor you can trust, Wayfair delivers. Here's a tip for you. There's a podcast out there with fans waiting to be your next customer.

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30:36Hello, Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. and possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.