Sam and Pete meet their daughters

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1:27wearing in this episode. If you don't like it, go f*** yourself. This is a bonus episode. It is the second bonus episode of the day and the fourth episode of the day because we have so much going on. We're moving to an office and Sam is running and stuff. So, this is going to be coming out on Thursday. You'll be able to watch this on a Sunday on Josh's YouTube channel and Monday's main episode which came out audibly. You'll be able to watch visually on a Wednesday which means that you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday wonderful this is the bonus episode so it's generally all about you but we often go to a tangent talk about ourselves because that's kind of egomaniacs we are maniacs maniacs egomaniacs maniacs am I saying that right maniacs yeah I feel like the bonuses are really becoming a staple now of the podcast well yeah they are I mean they happen every Thursday yeah but I really think we're getting to grips with the bonuses now do you yeah yeah or you think they're really coming to their own I do I genuinely don't think they're episodes of their own right What did you see them as the beginning?

2:27Just sort of like a little bit of fluff? Well, we just had to get used to them. Now we're sort of talking about Shag, Marry, Kill. Oh, yeah. I mean, that has been integral in the success of Stan Millebent. We've got Rose and Olive. We've got like different, we've got like now we're parents. There's just so much going on. And don't forget, Pete, that inside the icon, there is still a young boy from Essex. Who? Inside the icon, there's still a young boy from Essex. What's the icon? Inside the icon, there's still a young boy from Essex. Okay, all right. So 100%, this is exactly what you and Pippa are at your meeting about then.

3:03No, this actually isn't. No, this actually 100%, of course it is. So this is some sort of trend that I now don't understand. So who's the icon? I'm the icon? Yeah, you're the icon. I'm not actually really from Essex, but we'll take it. So I'm the icon from Essex, and inside of me there's a young boy. And if you wouldn't mind just going like this. Starland. lends. So just down the lends, be like, just down the lends, go, remember inside the icon, there's still a young boy from Essex. No, what is it? Remember inside the icon, there's still a young boy from Essex. Remember inside the icon, there is still a young boy from Essex.

3:40Thank you very much, Pete. Why don't you do, inside the icon, there is still a young boy from Chelsea. I'll tell you, inside the icon. No, no, no, no, just do what I did. I'll tell you, inside the. No, no, no, no, that's not what I did. Do what I did. so let me do it and then you're going to do the pose what's he got to do? pop a nip yeah well whatever he wants alright so you do your own pose remember inside the icon there's still a young boy from Chelsea and he loves you and listen just so you're all aware people listening to this you'll be able to see that at some point in our socials I don't know what that is but just remember this is where you heard it first and this is what goes into making these iconic TikToks obviously that's a massive trends that must be floating around now so I'm so glad that we're part of it.

4:26How much do you love a TikTok trend? I think it is utter utter utter dribble. Dribble? Yeah it's just utter fucking dribble. She always got dribble. She always got dribble. Yeah it's that as well. The whole thing is just fucking ridiculous. And I know we have to do it because we have to keep up with all the others and that. But, like, I just, like, it baffles me every week. And let me just point out as well, because that hilarious moment that we've just had on the pod after doing three fantastic episodes, Sam and Pip had to have a meeting about. So a lot's gone into it. There's more gone into that five minutes than has gone into the three episodes we've done pre this, all right?

5:10But that took a lot of planning and a lot of work. They both popped outside for Sam to have a little munch on his chicken sandwich and Pip, and they came back in all excited about it. And they went, oh, he's just not going to make that funny. Well, there you go. I did it for you. I made that funny. I'm a fucking icon. All right? Slay bitch. But do you know what? That's got exactly how he said it was going to go. Oh, well, I'm good. I'm glad I've pleased you. Let's fucking move on from this. But we do have an update for you. Oh, here we go. Everybody. Here we go. Here we go. I love Pete on a double record.

5:41If you get to the final video, he's so over everything. Come on, then. We've got an update. I can't wait for this. What's the update? A couple of weeks ago, we posted a poll of who was the better thirst trap. Well, the tables seem to have turned. When we posted the AI updates of you as an old man, I actually came out on top for the 80-year-old version of himself who ages better. I mean, I don't think anyone in this room is surprised by that, are we? I am well aware that people firstly didn't think I'd make 80. So, you know, it's not believable for a start. but also I looked like Dirty Den from Extenders.

6:19I did look a bit suspect. A little bit suspect? You look like you work seasonally as Santa. That's what he looked like. So, yeah, I mean, I'm not surprised about it. So what we're saying is you're going to come into your own... At 80 years old. At 80 years old when I'm dead. Do you know what the worst thing is as well? The only time I win a thirst trap competition is through AI at 80 years old. Yeah. I read that because Pippa's put that in because she's obviously done a lot of the research for that. I read the first one. She did a lot of research, did she? Pippa, thank you so much. I didn't realize how much goes into making this poll.

6:55Sometimes it baffles me where you find the time to do all this research. She did the research. How did the research go? What did you have to do? Just check the Instagram poll. Just check the Instagram poll. Well, the worst thing about that whole thing is that I read the top bit and went, oh, my God, the table's turned. I've started edging ahead in the poll. But in the real-life poll. and then I saw the last two lines went off for fuck's sake. Let's be honest, on a serious note, you're a little bit younger than me but at 32, which you are now, you look better than I did at 32. No, I don't. I met you at 32.

7:26Yes, exactly. I met you way before 32. And you weirdly have actually anti-aged. You looked older then. I doubt that. Mate, honestly, go back and have a look. I very much doubt that. Go back and have a look. You go through many eras. What era are you in now? I'm in News we haven't spoken about that for a while what is your era currently are you in your your well I think I'm actually entering my carrot era you're entering your carrot era and I think you're leaving your carrot era into something new okay what is my metamorphosis going to be into

8:02piglet sorry you're in your piglet era I'm I'm in my piglet era yeah and what what what the fuck's name is that I don't know I just feel like you're just rolling around loving life I'm rolling around like sorry when you look at me do you think that's a happy piglet yeah I do there we go you're in your piglet era I love it okay cool so for anyone listening now it's not carrot as an emoji it's a little pig we're gonna I'd like you just that is wonderful I can't wait this is why I don't upload very much alright I specifically don't because what happens I still get carrots like put on every comment on now it's gonna be a pig it's so good And now people are going to think they're really clever and they're going to go first and they're going to put a carrot with an arrow to a pig.

8:47Yes! If you're listening to this, please do comment under anything staying around of an all Pete Wicks orientated on his personal page with a little emoji of a carrot and a pig. And then as the years go by, we're just going to line up so they're going to do like 10 emojis next to each other. We can do an era's tour soon. Oh, hello, Pippa. Very good from you. Thank you. But we have had an email. because it's not about me and Pete, it's about you, isn't it? You at home listening to this. You'd think.

9:18Take us away. Hi, Sam and Pete. I am a day one listener and came to your show in Birmingham last year as my missus got me tickets for Christmas. I helped run a Sunday League football team, men's Open Age. What's Open Age? Any age, mate. Oh, right, OK. And was actually thinking of messaging, asking if Staying Relevant wanted to be our next season's kit sponsor, Long shot, I know. Then listening to Monday's pod talking about you both wanting to own a club, I think this could be a stepping stone. The team is called Great Bar United FC. We currently play in the Worley and District Sunday League and are based just outside of Birmingham.

9:55Just a thought. Football emoji me, black heart, pink heart. Keep up the good work, guys. Strong man. Kind regards, Alex Malloy. Okay, right. I'm going to make an executive decision on this. So, you're not. Yeah, we're doing it. Okay, you're absolutely not. Are you joking? So let me just point out. So the kit is bright pink. I don't know who the current sponsor is. And they've mocked up a little version, or have we done that? They've done that. Oh, they've mocked up a little version of staying relevant as a sponsor. So, Sam, what are your initials, your initial thoughts? I would absolutely, when they kiss the badge, imagine they score.

10:34Screamer. Yeah. 91st minute. We're not going to be part of the badge. We're just sponsoring. The badge will stay as Great Bar United. Yeah, but they're going to be keeping... Mate, they can kiss our... That would be such an honour, by the way, and a privilege. We'll pay for it. Do we have to pay them? Well, of course. Well, it's basically what they're doing is asking for money. Oh, right. They actually... Well, it's great. Oh, so they won? Well, of course they do. Sorry, we're not going to say, yeah, we'll be your sponsor. Just let us know when you've paid for it. No, I just... We'll buy. We'll pay.

11:02Sorry. Can I just give my opinion? Alex, if you're listening... We'll pay. Give your opinion. Okay, my opinion is... No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on, because this is what you do. What happens is you say it as if it's happening. We haven't had a discussion about this. So, no. My initial opinion, my initial thoughts. All right, can't wait for this. My initial thoughts. Strap in. Are that we pay to have the sponsor put onto the shirts ourselves, and that's it. You'd do that. Would I? That's fine. That's, what, a couple of grand? Alex. Oh, fuck me. Oh, well, that's sweet, isn't it? Are we doing well?

11:41I don't even know if we're doing well. Well, this is the problem that I've got. So, Alex, a few questions, first of all, because I'm looking at the team photo. Thanks ever so much. They look overly athletic. I mean, the front five got the memo and decided to go with the both hands placed on the left knee. It doesn't look like it's a great ground, if I'm honest with you. And I'll be honest with you, one of your managers slash trainers is wearing shorts and Timberlands. So he's obviously just popped off the fucking, he's just popped off the site for the day. All right. He's a scaffolder for sure.

12:16What sort of control do we have as a sponsor? What are you expecting from us? I mean, you know, it's not just about sponsoring the kit. The kit, I don't mind the pink. It's kind of like a pink. I like the kit. What exactly do we need to do to sponsor you for a start? Alex, you haven't said which one is you for a start. I mean, there's two starts we've got there. So Alex, which one are you? I think we should. How is the team doing? you know what are the movers and shakers what's happening in the transfer window over summer I like you guys I would love I would love to sponsor you and I'd love to for us to be it's our first step I'm going to be honest with you it's the first time we've kind of thought of this and it would be quite cool to sponsor a team but why on earth would we sponsor one in fucking Birmingham but why not they're 7th in their league they're 7th in their league out of 10 oh Jesus fuck me well there you go we've had a little Google oh so they're going to get relegated we've done the numbers no because they're in the lowest league Oh, right.

13:09So, you know. Yeah, but look, Pete, let's be fucking honest, mate. If we're going to sponsor anyone, we might as well sponsor people who don't win trophies. Like, we've never won one. I'm going to be honest with you. The underdogs. I don't necessarily hate the idea. Do you know what? Put it in the maybe pile. I'll tell you what. Let's make an executive decision. Pippa, pass it on to Annalise. Get us a cost to do it. Get us a cost. Get us a cost. we might be a kit sponsor just don't get fucking relegated oh you can't yeah I forgot get us a cost to do it and we'll come and watch her imagine imagine though if we actually managed to build up this team into something like almost oh yeah it's almost like we're fucking it's like Wrexham yeah I genuinely feel like that yeah yeah exactly we're hoping to get to the Premier League in a couple of years time I reckon we can get we can turn this around back to back promotions well especially you I mean you've all Sam T footy what you're not just getting a sponsor what you're getting is you know an icon played for England if you look at his Raya.

14:07I think we should fucking do this. I think we should do a YouTube video of us turning up as owners. Incredible football knowledge there from Sam. I mean, what you've got there, I will be there as the, I'm just there for motivation. Why would I be there? Manager. So what's he? Coach. They're both the same thing. We won't even be managers or coaches. We'll be sponsors. Co-owners. So we're co-owners, yeah. And we're not going to own them. Yeah, we are. We're going to be co-owners. We sponsor the kit. We're not going to own them. We don't own them. Why? I'm not paying wages for them. We don't own them.

14:42I don't think they're on fucking wages. Well, we're not fucking buying them fucking pints and fucking... We're paying their sponsor. We'll give you five grand and we'll only... No, we will not give you five grand. I'll tell you what you'll do. We'll do up the training field. No, I'll tell you what we'll fucking do. We'll see if we can get you some... What are we going to open with, for fuck's sake? We'll be doing Rex's, mate. It's all marketing and advertising. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, what happens when they start calling us about we need new nets and new balls and all that sort of stuff? We'll pay, because we're good owners.

15:11We don't own them. Yeah, but we will. It's not about owning, is it? We're going to own the club. What's it called? Bar FC, Great Bar FC. Great Bar FC. Oh, I can think of a tune right. Great Bar FC, Great Bar FC. Who's going to win? We are. It baffles me. It baffles me sometimes when you do Because I just think Where do you get that incredible genius from? How did you get just that quickly Just off the spot You came up with a song like that I'm just quite musically talented Yeah, do it again for us Great, bar, FC Whole team together Great, bar, FC Great, bar, FC Who's going to win? We are You still want us to sponsor?

15:59Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to own you. We don't own them. We're not buying them out. Give them a tenner a week. This isn't a fucking... Give them a tenner a week. That's fine. It's fine, is it? £200 a week. Oh, well, that's absolutely fine then. £800 a month. Let's not worry about it. And I'll tell you what, we'll build a clubhouse. I was thinking we should do a little refurb of the fucking area. Of the area? Oh, do you know what? It's not just that. What we're going to do is we're going to pump some money into the community just to get some bigger numbers down there. It'd be absolutely fine.

16:27Don't worry about it. and if you get promoted wait till the parade that's going to be a serious fucking doodal can't wait to come to the local for a couple of pints don't worry we'll buy that as well so you can just be in there any point you want let's move fucking on from Great Bar United try and win a game and we'll think about it you fucking city sausages oh my god we should get a bus we should need to get a bus for them to go to the way game oh just use the old tour one you spent 15 grand on for three days and we fucking spent an hour in crap hey I'm really liking the way this is going we're going to own a football club very very shortly

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18:06Oh my God, this is brilliant. So this is from Janine. After listening to the Olive and Rose podcast episode and laughing at the scenarios Sam was coming up with for Peter James Wicks and his imaginary daughter, I used a photo of Peter to create an AI image of what she could possibly look like. This is from Janine. Oh my God. So this photo's going to go up on socials for anyone who's listening to this. But I will just say this. Fit. Put it out there. Fit. No, no, no. We're not doing it. Don't talk about it like that. Mate, she doesn't exist. No, we're not doing that. Doesn't exist. She looks beautiful.

18:47She's got a bit of a furrowed brow, actually. You know, she's got a furrowed brow. Yeah, but so does Pete in that. Oh, God, yeah. Look what you've given her. See, your genetics now have given her those horrible lines down her eyebrows and nose. I'd just like to point out that for anyone listening, just in case you are confused, a frown isn't a genetic problem. It's a choice that you have. But why is she frowning? Look at the lines down her face. I would be over the moon if that was my door. She looks intelligent. She's dressed appropriately and well. She has wonderful hair. the most mesmerising eyes.

19:21Yeah, I'd go for it. I will fucking hurt you. I'd go for it. No. Her, so I'd go for her. No, no, no. Sorry, it wasn't the it that was a problem. It was just the whole thing. She looks... She looks like she'd be quite spicy. She's definitely got that in her from you. I could already see. The way she's looking at me right now, she's like, don't you fucking step out of line. do you think that could actually do you think that's what my daughter i genuinely think well depends what the mum looks like as well right yeah i mean yeah i mean that is a there's a big anomaly there is that obviously we depend what the mum would look like um but i mean i'm someone's guessing broody god i'd love to have a daughter slay queen would you like her to look like you i mean well no i wouldn't want her to look like me jesus christ imagine it fucking i've got a question for you.

20:17She's on the f***ing booze. Where are we at with that? Depends what she smokes. She's on 40 a day at that age. No, she wouldn't be. I wasn't on 40 a day at that age. She's on 10 a day at that age. Listen, she gets to make her own choices in life, you know. I just want her to be happy. Well, it sounds like you're being a little bit of a wet blanket. Oh, okay. This is odd. Have we done a mock-up of Sam's daughter, Rose? I can do that. I think that needs to happen surely. Don't use a shit photo. do you know what's hilarious about this right i'll tell you what's hilarious about this we don't have daughters all right because mine's turned out and she's she's actually a well put together lady sam doesn't want his daughter to be less fit that's exactly what he's thinking i want the fitter daughter is that's exactly what's going through your mind i thought i wanted to be fitter exactly tell me that is not what you thought i'll tell you what i want what would be hilarious if Sam's daughter had a mullet?

21:13Yeah, don't use a mullet one. Well, Sam, they haven't given her just my hair. Okay, fine. That's how the cartoons work. Okay. It's not that I want my daughter to be really beautiful. I just want her to look like me so I can actually be like, oh my God, this is actually what it would look like. It's mad, isn't it? Because it's a cartoon, but I literally feel like I'm looking into her soul. Yeah, so do I. She's mesmerized. I feel like she's sort of angry at the world, but she's got a good heart. And weirdly enough, I had, she's got my nose. I had freckles like that when I was a bit younger as well.

21:45Well, no, yeah. Lips and eyes. I'm full. What? That couldn't have been any more creepy if you tried. Couldn't have been any more creepy. She's got fuller lips than you do. It's still, like, creepy. How long till this, how long does it take? Five minutes. Okay, we'll do questions. I'll come back to it. So we are going to come back to that, but before we do get on to my daughter, we do have question time. question time now this is the part where we put it up on our socials every week I've just read these you can't be serious we ask you for your questions in the first question what items are you packing in a bag to survive a zombie apocalypse well probably your jelly cat's got going there eh your jelly cat's probably got going there oh no don't start me on that fucking bullshit again no we can't no no so just explain to me what happens in a zombie a cock colleague they're the kind of zombies they're not the slow ones they're the fucking quick ones so is this the whole world is dying and being taken over by zombies yeah but they're not the slow ones they're the ones who will run at you they're fast they're I Am Legend zombies they're not like whatever the slow crawling one they're not the walking dead zombies alright so we've got fast zombies yeah fast zombies but also there's different factions and sort of like there's drifters who haven't been done by the zombies yet ok you lost me bored now ok So what items am I packing in a bag?

23:11Like, I don't know, what kit, like gun? I don't know. And who's that for, zombies or people? No, a sword. A sword? What a sword? Well, because you don't have to reload it or run out of ammunition. Yeah, but mate, that means you've got to be close contact. Yeah, well, listen. Dude, if they bite you, you're dead. Well, they won't because they'll be headless before that happens. Jesus Christ. It's a little bit more personal. You really want to fuck them up, don't you? And a gun, ammunition, if it's an apocalypse, where do I get more ammunition from? Are you taking down humans as well as zombies here, or what are we doing?

23:38oh is there humans still alive yeah there's different factions oh no I'm not going to take out fucking humans no but someone comes onto your patch mate now it's just survived why am I they're trying to take over on your patch or they come and be like you basically can I give you a bit of backstory so you are in a house right the house oh my god so you're in the house that you've always wanted you know the one that's like really far away from people but there's loads of animals there you are self sufficient you have a little garden outside where you grow your own food and everything you got like just living off the land just living off the land right and you've got fresh water coming down and you've got enough electricity from solar panels but only for one person.

24:13Zombie apocalypse has happened. The zombies haven't got to you yet because you're in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Maybe they never will. But people... It would be worth their while. But drifters from the city have started to relocate to the countryside to get away from the horrors that are within the city. So effectively now my kind of base is Shangri-La. It's the Zion of... Everyone is going there. We've heard there's a place in the West where you're safe. No, they're just searching and running away. but they have come across your gaff. Now, it's survive or die. Maybe you can take one in but your supply is going to be halved.

24:45I don't know if you'll even be able to do that but definitely not more than one. They're coming towards you. They're begging for help. Pete Wicks, what are you doing? I'll kill them all. Okay, here we go. I thought that was where we'd go. Kill them all. Just straight in. Unless you've got something, you know, it depends. You bartering? What are we doing here? What are you bringing with you? I don't know. I haven't got much because I've just been in the city. Well, I suppose if the human race is ending, then you need to look at, you know... Procreation, obviously. Well, exactly. It's a group of five guys.

25:16And you kind of have a feeling they're going to try and take over the gaff. Well, that's not going to happen, is it? Okay, right. So what you're saying is you're going to sort them all down? Yeah, well, there is no need for me to have five... If it was a lady, you have to look at restarting the human race, don't you? If it's five geezers? If it's five geezers, then I will cut them all. I will cut them all down like grass. Well, there's just no need. You know what I mean? And it depends. What benefit are they to me? If anything, what they're doing is drawing zombies towards me. Well, that's a good point.

25:48Because me on my own, there's enough people in the world for zombies to crack on and have a start on main course of dessert. Crack on? Just crack on? They don't need to come to my little corner of earth and bother about me. I'm just one fella on my own. Do you know what I mean? You don't bother me and I'll keep away from you. So we'll have a little deal and a little... It'd be like a... Yeah, we'll just have a little pact and a little peace pact. and it would just be, you crack on over there. I've heard there's loads of people over that way. Just back off for a minute. If you do, everyone, come back.

26:15But at that point, I think there's enough for you to crack on with. Yeah, fine. So I'll just stay out of the way. I won't bother you. You know what I mean? If anyone comes here, I'll cut them down like grass and I'll just leave them on the porch. You can just drag them off and take them. Just drag them off? Well, yeah, do you know what I mean? It'd be like they'd come to me for a little buffet. So you'd basically work with the zombies and you'd turn on your own humankind. Survival of the fittest, mate. Well, just don't worry about it. It's absolutely fine. What would you do? I'd be part of a gang.

26:46Okay, all right. Okay, so it was mental when I discussed this. But so you would create a... Create a gang. Human gang. Yeah, human gang. Human gang. So how many would you want in your gang? Probably about 20 to 50. And we'd go roving and raiding. That's less of a gang. That's more of a horde. We'd go roving and raiding. roving and raiding yeah because we'd need to sort of live off the land ourselves we'd probably come across your shack and be like we could take that down you wouldn't mate I don't care how many of your gang there is you ain't coming near my gaff this actually happened and then like I did just turn up at your gaff would you take me in solitary me it would cut your supplies in half hold on as I know you now as you know me now would you take me in zombie apocalypse everyone's dying The cities are full of it.

27:35Everywhere's hell on earth, but you've got a nice little patch of... But don't get me wrong, it's going to be tough living. Yes. That's very sweet. Yes, I would. I would take you in. If I didn't know you and you turned up and presented yourself as you do, then I would cut you down like a blade of glass. And if you're a potato, how would you be cooked? What?

28:00If you're a potato, how would you be cooked?

28:07So, is there a gang of potatoes? What do you mean? Just asking if you were a potato, how would you be cooked? Well, is that the only food that's left? No, I'm just asking if you were a potato, how would you be cooked? Are we not doing the apocalypse?

28:25Dauphema. Why is that? Or maybe a rusty. Sort of shred and fried. If I was a potato, I'd be baked. Because it's homely and party. So what's happened there then? What's happened there? I don't know. What's happened there? Did we edit midway through? And just hard cut to something else? Because I'm sure I was in the middle of talking about my apocalypse. And then we've just gone straight into... I just wanted to know what you'd be like if you were a potato. Sorry. So what's happened? Are they zombies or potatoes? They're two different questions, but I merged them into one. But why? I just wanted to confuse you.

29:14Successful. Why would you be baked? I think it's hearty and homely. Quite dull, though. No, it's salt on the outside. And when you eat a baked potato, do you eat the skin? Yeah, I love it. That's my favourite bit. And what do you have a baked potato? Oh, my God, my daughter. Wait for a minute. We'll get that reaction in a minute. what what alright I don't think we can because I think there's too much excitement around it Jesus fucking Christ so alright oh I'm in love no don't say that no like from a dad's point of view you bellend right Rose has now been created Rose has now been created and sent to both our phones and we are doing a weird hard cut here because we were in the middle of another conversation just hard cutting the shit out of this bonus episode gone to potatoes so we've gone from apocalypse to potato to rose with no segue whatsoever because Sam stopped me mid-potato chat and screamed, oh my God, my daughter!

30:10Because they have been sent to our phones. So let's have a little butchers at Little Rose. Oh my God. And we've been sent both our daughters next to each other. They would so be best friends, man. Dude, look at them both. Because your one would be... Do you know what your one would be? Your one would be the rustic one. Your one got expelled from school. The rustic one? Yeah. She's not a pub. Your daughter's the one who got expelled from school. But what I'm looking at here, what I'm reading through the lines of this is, your daughter got expelled from school. She's the really rough and ready one.

30:40Bit of a drifter. She's not a drifter. She's got a pun name. My one stayed at private school. And hence she's in the uniform. Yours is head girl. No, but they're best mates. And no one can understand why mine is really good friends of yours. And yours is sort of the outcast. And everyone's like, why are you friends with Olive? Like she's just like such a tomboyish sort of like, oh, like what's going on? And then my one's like, no, she's my best friend. And actually my one gets led a little bit astray, but your one backs my one up massively in a fist fight. What you've just described there is if we were two little girls.

31:16Yeah. That's all you've done there. Yeah, but that's how it looks. I mean, so this is Rose, Olive. I will concede this. Olive's the ringleader. you can tell Olive's the one getting Rose in trouble. Well, it's mad, isn't it? Because, like, obviously these photos were taken at the same time and Rose is at school, but... Olive looks like she's outside a pub. Well, she came to see Dad. God, can you imagine if we actually had daughters, Sam? Oh, I really want daughters now. Do you actually? Yeah. What about... OK, let's just, because, you know, I feel like we're running out of daughter chat, so we might as well keep something else going for the next couple of weeks.

31:57Sons. just name your son and then we can ask people for hypotheticals for the sons I already know my son's name genuinely as well so this is a God's honest God's honest if you had a son okay go on Kit what middle name man just Kit Kit man Kit Kit yeah Kit Kit what like K-I-T yeah Kit Thompson yeah why are you scoffing why because that's my name and you've stolen it what you want a kid called kit yeah he's just stolen my eyes that ages ago no i actually when you said it i went you want a kid why do people look kit kit he'd be called that's a form of apparel he'd be called kit yeah k-i-t like gear kit football kit rugby kit yeah but why that's not what jack always says when i say kit linda kit michael de courcy thompson Kitt Michael DeCorsi Thompson Yeah because I said my dad's middle name My dad's name would be his middle name Right and how are you going to deal with the bullying?

33:01Are you joking? Kitt's cool You can't steam it I can and I'm going to Who's going to have kids first that's the question Yeah mine will be called Kitt what's yours? Before we go what's yours And then we'll slide into Kitt later in the week So we'll slide into the chat about the sons later in the week What would mine be called? I've never thought about it. Never thought about it if I had a son. I'm going to say... Patrick. No, I wouldn't have a little Paddy. Okay. I'd like something... Do you know what? It's going to sound bad. It doesn't really go on my own, but I really like Stanley. Stan. Oh, God, that's a bit aggressive.

33:38Stan. Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. Come here. Stan. No, you can't. Not in your accent either. You just can't do that, mate. They're setting him up for failure. But I like Stanley. Stan. Yeah, Olive and Stan. Olive and Stanley. Can't tell which one you like the most. Obviously Olive, yeah. Stan's just been chucked to the wayside. And that is all we've got time for. But if you have any hypotheticals for our sons, then please do send them. We've always managed to find a little something that we can sort of ask the listener to ask. Just have little Pete. No, you can't have Pete Jr. Fuck no, you can't have Pete Jr.

34:16Absolutely not. Thank you so much for listening to Staying Relevant. at the bonus effort with me, Sam Thompson, and Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph, Wicks. We have done a four record because of running and different challenges and filming and all that kind of stuff. So we really appreciate you. We hope you've enjoyed all of them. So feature in the podcast, email hello at srproductions.co.uk. Subscribe and follow us through the first and every episode. Rate five stars and leave a review. Follow us on all socials at Staying Relevant Podcast. Subscribe to us on YouTube. Just search Staying Relevant Podcast.

34:43We'll be back on Monday with our main episode and we're going to be back to normal then. We love you so much. from Stan. And Kit. Kit's way better than Stan. My social battery is so drained. Kit. Do we have to do this? We've got a big job to do. Do we have to go and do this wrong outro or can we just stop now? Okay, fine. Are you done? Kit is going to shag Olive. That's right, I'm going to leave this. Absolutely, Kit is not going to be shagging Olive in any way, shape or form. No, you can't fight love. Well, I can fight love. You can't fight love? Are you going to punch love in the face? No, I will cut him down like a blade of grass.

35:20This has been a Staying Relevant production. There's one thing that will forever change the way you sleep, and it's the softest 100 % organic cotton sheets from Bowlin Branch. You'll fall asleep faster, wrapped in the most luxurious comfort. You'll never sleep hot again with sheets that feel breathable to sleep in. You'll experience the purest softness on night one and feel your sheets get even softer with every wash. Discover the difference with 15 % off your first set of sheets at BowlinBranch.com with code BUTTERY. Exclusions apply. See site for details. Hello Relevanters! We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music.

36:07We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. so prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.