Sam is bringing WHO to Christmas?

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1:53Wayfair, every style, every home. Hello and welcome to Staying Relevant, the Christmas bonus episode, hosted by two best friends, me, Sam Thompson and Peter Wex. Still wearing off at Jam Jams. So this is Thursday, which means it's Christmas Day. It's Christmas bloody day. Actually today, if you are listening to this on Christmas Day, you're having a terrible time. If you're sat and you've got your fucking, your granddad's pissed downstairs and your nan's fallen over and fucking mum's absolutely off her tits on Baileys. Dad's gone to the pub to get out the fucking house. You're locked away in your bedroom because you can't stand your fucking cousin who keeps fucking poking the cat or whatever.

2:38Then I hope you're having a lovely time. As this is the bonus episode, you'll be able to watch this on Sunday from 5pm. and the Christmas main episode will have come out Christmas Eve from 5pm, which was last night, which is Wednesday, so you'll be able to catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. Even through Christmas, we don't let you down. No, do you know what? We like to... We're always givers. I would just like to point out as well that Staying Relevant has not missed a main or a bonus for the entire year. That's really nice, actually. Yeah, we haven't missed one. Not missed one.

3:14wherever we've been whatever we've done we have made sure we we have put our episodes some of you might enjoy that some of you are probably like have a break have a break we've ruined your day consistently every single year make sure you rate review do all of that sort of crap you know the fucking score by now also as this is Christmas Day some of you may have woken up to some staying relevant merch under the trees we hope you're enjoying that I hope you enjoy your Pete Dishy cloth. Restocked, Annalise? Soon to be restocked. So hopefully you'll still be able to get them before Christmas. And if you've woken up to a Sam Dishy cloth, then you've done something wrong this Christmas.

3:59And when you ask for a Pete, you've got a Sam, it means you've been naughty. A lot of people have bought both. I think Sam's is now sold out.

4:10Surely it's been three weeks. Pete, it's been months. bloody months but yes get a mug and just for just on the merch thing that's now going to be available all year round and we'll be doing different drops of different things so you can always buy that for birthdays and fucking all the other crap you know the score right shall we crack on with an email we have an email Christmas day email this one's from Jazz boys two questions I've been my boyfriend two months I've been invited round for Christmas when is it too soon to bring a partner to Christmas. Oh, perfect. Minimum timeframe. Will Peep be joining Sam this year?

4:49So, hold on, September. So, I think you're better positioned to answer this one than me. Mine has been, I think, as this comes out, about four months. Give or take a few weeks. Yeah, so two months. Peep has... Right now, Peep is actually round mine, I think. Yeah. Spending Christmas round mine. I mean, we're recording this early. Obviously, we're not here on Christmas Day. I would be if I could. But these fuckers want to spend it in Stafford with their family and that. But at this point, it's Christmas Day, if you're listening to this. Sam is currently singing Where's the Christmas Puddy with Pete.

5:29Wait, what do you think I'm doing? Pete, if you had to say what I was doing right now, what would I be doing? Well, I imagine everyone is probably around the table. You're picking at the food before it's even gone down. I don't want to do that. you're probably, I don't know, lip syncing a TikTok with Peep. I imagine that you are in some sort of pyjamas, something like that. You're probably playing with Leo. You, Leo and Peep, I imagine, they're sat down playing with the toys whilst the grown-ups fucking get food ready. I imagine you're going to have a beer, but then you'll have two and go, no, I'm going to get a bit drunk today.

6:02You're going to have two and then go, well, I won't have any more. That'll be Christmas Day for you. But I imagine you're having a lovely time. Yeah, yeah. We're going to be watching, I imagine we're going to be watching Doctor Who, the Christmas episode, which is always a tradition. Why are you scrunching your face? It just is, again, do you care about Doctor? No, but it's a tradition. So you have to. Yeah, pretty much. But you don't care. Who's Doctor Who? Well, it changes every time. So why? At this point in time, we've got Shooty Gatwa. Sorry? Has he gone now, actually? He might have gone.

6:31No idea. But yeah, I imagine you're having a lovely time. Mate, do you know what? It's very wholesome, and I think it will be really lovely. I'm not even taking the piss. If you came round, you and Ryan would be very similar. Yeah, but there's the difference between Ryan and I. I make my own life decisions. Poor Ryan gets lugged over. If anything, what I should do is invite Ryan to mine. Oh, you would love it. And he could sit in separate rooms. But we could just chill. That's so good. Yeah, I'll send you some photos. But then you're also going to see her fam. I'm seeing her fam on Boxing Day.

7:07It's in our whole family. And I can't fucking know, you're really going in there. I might make a speech. You won't, but go on. All right, what would your speech be? I'll just thank you so much for welcoming me into the family. So you're going to sit everyone down, you're going to clink a glass, and you're going to go, thank you for welcoming me. Do you want them to think you're a c***? Yes, that is what people ask me as well. She asked you to do a speech? No, she was like, do you want people to hate you? Yeah, no, you can't do that. Mate, just sit in the... Give me some tips. Give me some tips.

7:37I'll tell you what the tips is, all right? It's a family Christmas for their family. Blend in, all right? It isn't about you. So just blend into the background. You don't need to stand in front of everyone and make yourself known. See, I sometimes do do that. No, no, no, not sometimes. So just sit in the background and just blend, observe, be nice to everyone, be polite to everyone. Just. Do you know what I struggle with? Then next year, make the speech, host the fucking Christmas. Do you know what? I do panic because I'm always like, I have to really, you know, be like on top, top form. And sometimes it's quite draining.

8:12Just sit. Just sit in the back. I'm just going to voyeur this one. Just sit. Be nice. Be pleasant. Having a lovely time. It was so nice to meet you all individually. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Let them all get on with the traditions and have their speeches and all the rest of it. Just, oh, lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Just that's good. And they'll go, what a lovely guy. Yeah, nice. Whereas if you go, well, welcome to the, they'll all go, he's a c***. as you leave the door. Oh, no. So, yeah. A bit too soon, I think. So, Jazz, what we're saying is, or what Sam's saying, because I don't necessarily have an opinion, but what Sam is saying is, it's not too early.

8:50Fucking go and enjoy it. Go for it. Go for it. If you love them, do it. Have a go. No, no. No.

9:04No, no. If you love them, Jazz, then you should go for it. And that's only after two months. So imagine what it's like after four.

9:18Kelly. Any so, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. I mean, you didn't need to throw that in. I was just saying if Jazz does. Yeah. Because that's why you would invite them to Christmas, if you love them, do it. But, Jazz, if you know they're the one, then you might as well do it. And if your family are okay with that, by the way, then... Yeah, so, and obviously, you know, Karen invited, so your family are okay with it. And obviously her family have invited you, so they're okay with it. So, Peep's the one. Mate, we're on the path. We're on the journey. We're on the bloody journey. It's a Christmas miracle.

9:52We're on the journey.

9:57Kelly's got in touch. So I just got a good one, Pete. This one might be for you. Go on. Well, Sam and Pete, I just finished my Christmas shopping this year and it was a hellish experience. There you go, Kelly. You've got me. It got me thinking that maybe Pete is onto something by just giving people envelopes of money. You've been fathers for nearly a year now. With your current knowledge of what teenage girls are like, what are you buying Olive and Rose for Christmas? Thank you from Kelly. Pete, what do you reckon? Well, firstly, that sentence I don't like with your knowledge of what teenage girls like.

10:31Not a great way to... All right, because I'd just like to point out we have no knowledge of what teenage girls like. I do. No, Sam. I've got a cousin. Yeah, you speak to her regularly? Actually, I do speak to her quite a bit. She lives in Canada. Yeah. When was the last time we spoke to her? About half a year ago. Yeah. Give it a touch. Yeah, but your knowledge of what she likes, I can't imagine. I feel like when you hit the teenage years, and actually this could go into it, I wouldn't get anything too drastic because I feel like when you're in your teenage years, you don't care as much. Christmas is lame at that point in your life.

11:08Also, the teenage years, because people just put all teenagers together, all right? So it's like, you know, you've got kids and they're a teenager now. Big difference between 13 and 19. True, true. How old? So let's pick an age for Olive and Rose. 17. Ooh, okay. All right. So not quite old enough to drink. 16. Okay, but okay. Still kind of similar. Not old enough. 15. 16. 16, that's what we're going with. What do we get Olive and Rose, the 16-year-olds? I mean, the problem I have is that... She has what she wants. Well, it's just an envelope of cash. Or a pony. If she wants a pony, I'll get her a pony.

11:57Don't know why I'm doing that. I think it's... To be honest with you, my issue with presence is it's very difficult to know what someone wants. I would rather they just tell me... Oh, my God, I'm with you, man. You're preaching to the fucking choir. I don't know if it's the thought that counts. I am thinking about it. I'm thinking about it so much so that actually what I want is for you to get what you want. I'm happy for you to have whatever you want. All right? So tell me what you want and I'll get it. And I'll go, there's the thought. I thought about what you want. But I'm not you. So I don't know what you fucking want.

12:34I completely agree. I feel like, and maybe this is, I may be being a little bit harsh here, but most guys I think are quite similar to this. We like dogs. Just tell us what to do and we'll do it. Like, I just want to know what it is that you want me to buy you. And if it's within budget, we'll do it. And also, you know, and girls, oh yeah, but there's no fucking thought into that. Well, let me tell you something, ladies. let me tell you something ladies let me tell you something ladies when you go and it's the thought that counts and I really thought about most of what you get us we don't want I'd be happy with the fucking cash because then I'll go and get what I want oh well I thought you'd really like this jumper well I don't I'd rather I'd had a different one if it was a jumper if you say to me listen I'll tell you what I'm going to get you a jumper great I'll pick it then because what you'll pick I won't like and then I have to go oh it's lovely but they want the surprise that's the thing don't they They want a fucking surprise.

13:26Well, I'll tell you what I'll do then is I'll go and buy it, wrap it up, and then you will be surprised when I open what I've got.

13:36Tick. You know what I mean? I mean, I'm actually, weirdly, I feel like we don't agree on many of these things, but I'm actually with you. I hate the idea of having to go really left field to get them something they won't actually want anyway. Or wear, and then you get that awkward thing where you know three months later they've stopped wearing the jewellery, they've stopped doing it. I do get it. If you know someone wants something, I like the idea of pre-planning it in terms of like if you know someone really wants a certain thing, like a couple of months before Christmas, they don't think you're getting it and then you surprise them with it because you know they want it.

14:07That's great. But when you have no idea and you just go and get something, quite often you're going to be wrong. It will be the wrong colour, the wrong size, the wrong this, the wrong that, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're better off. You're better off genuinely going shopping together and going, what do you want? What do you want? On me. It's done. And do you know what as well? And then it's a lovely day out. You have a bit of lunch. You have a couple of drinks together. Do you know what I mean? You make a whole fucking thing of it. And it is lovely. Or how many times have I said to you for presents, get something for both of you to enjoy.

14:34Yep. Go on holiday. Go and do an experience together or something where you can both, because then it's something you're spending time together. You're doing that. That to me is what a present, because the present isn't about a material thing, is it? It's about a feeling. It's about a moment. And it's about spending time with the person you love. Well, some people are gift receivers. Some people do like a gift. I'm not. I asked for pants and socks genuinely from my mum. We know that because we did see you get changed earlier on. Yeah. So I need some new pants and some new socks. My sister's getting me some pans.

15:02Pans? Yeah, I'm getting some pans for Christmas. Did you not use the wok you got last year? No, because there's a really cool new anti-stick pan that I want. That's how I know I'm getting older. But no, no, no. No, but there you go. That's something you want. So your sister's getting it. I'm really excited for it actually as well. That should be really nice. But I agree. because what I also want to do is I don't want to go out of my way, get something you're not going to like and then be like, the receipt's in there if you want to change it. They do change. You go, why the fuck did I bother going and getting it then?

15:28Because there's no point as a surprise if you don't want it. But this is the thing. See, my mum knows the score. She knows every year I'm going to give her an envelope of cash but I said to her, is there anything you specifically want? She went a rug. I went, well, you can get it out of the cash. Lovely. There you go. I mean, who wants a rug for Christmas? Or if it is something, you can go one of two ways what me and pete have said which i agree with or you know if you go and get you know sometimes it's a really nice card like loads of photos you painstakingly print it out yeah that put on a collage and shit that's thoughtful that's really thoughtful and i think that's i mean pippa actually you're a bit more like us i don't think you would really rate that yeah pippa's actually already not not to sort of shit on her but she's um already you've told jack I believe, the present that you want him to ask from you so you can use it.

16:12Could you please explain? Yeah, I really like my, I have a Smeg toaster and kettle and I wanted a Smeg coffee machine, but I'd already kind of used up my present ask. So I said he should ask for that from his family. So he's asked. So he gets nothing he wants, only what Bipper wants. But it goes in our joint kitchen. So that she can have another Smeg. Has Rick been around yet? No. Do you want me to come in and do it? Pete might have popped by the flat on team drinks the other day and offered to grout my floor. And I came upstairs and he was like on hands and knees, like looking at the floor saying he would grout it.

16:47And Rick, the handyman. Well, they've got the tiles in the fucking corner and the fridge is halfway out the fucking kitchen because they've got to re-grout. I said, well, I'll fucking do that. Mate, do you know what? There is actually something really fun about grouting. Do you know what I mean? It's not a big job either. A little bit of mastic as well. And then I tried to save her olive tree. You should ask for a new one of them. It's doing so much better now. Did you listen to me? It's actually doing so much better now. What was it? What was the advice? It wasn't watering properly. Fucking water it.

17:12But you can overwater these things as well. Well, exactly. Well, but also, we're not going to get into it because this isn't ground force. But you know what's wild? Is you know we're getting older because that interested me, that. I would love to know how much to water my plants so they don't. Because I've overwatered plants, they've died. I went round her fucking house and I literally went through and went, well, I'll grow out the floor. I started picking shit out of the fucking olive tree, all right? And started going, this is how you walk with it. And then I offered to build some stairs to go out in the fucking balcony for.

17:43It's just quite a big step. It's always dangerous, that, isn't it? We're talking about if I ever get a dog. Anyway, so, yeah, I get it. The thoughtful stuff, if you're going to make a little scrapbook and all that, and some people like all that, then that's great and that's thoughtful. I'd like a scrapbook from you, please. You're not going to get one. Are you doing all that sort of stuff? Are you one for a mixtape? No. I have made a mixtape before, actually, but no. Is that not, I mean, you need to think it's ain't thoughtful. No, I've actually, I've said, and God, I bet this makes me sound like a bit of a dick, but whatever.

18:17For me, birthdays are for something really special. So, yeah, it was a birthday recently. Yes, birthday is something really special. Christmas is for something small but thoughtful. And cheap. Slightly cheaper. And Valentine's Day is just roses. like I just feel like it's it's kind of unfair I think hands are going up I think it's kind of unfair for guys when we have birthday Christmas and Valentine's Day in the space of about four months and if you're expected to go yeah because you work for leather you work you work eight months of the year to fucking spend it with four it's fine mate it's just a lot and it's like so I always think birthday is the most special day and it's all about you Christmas it's about everyone right and so you know you're buying things for the family for your friends for your loved ones so that can be i think a little bit more like sort of like sweet and then i think valentine's day roses and a shag

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20:47I didn't say that. I didn't even mention Valentine's Day. I just said. Happy Valentine's. Here's some roses. And I'm also going to give you one. so there you go there we go happy days so we kind of went off track there Olive and Rose oh fuck yeah so for me yeah yeah well that was the point of it is that Olive whatever she kind of wanted I would kind of give her within reason but also like as a single dad I don't think we you know I don't and there are some single dads that we'll know but I would say that most dads in general single or not wouldn't really have a clue and you're better off just getting what your daughter wants and asking her because otherwise we're going to get it wrong.

21:31I don't think a fucking 40-year-old man is necessarily going to know what his fucking 16-year-old daughter wants. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And I think it's still at that age as well, you're well within your rights to go, what do you want? And then get it. You know, like kids, like they send Christmas lists and all that sort of stuff. Kids tell you what they want. Yeah. Fucking carry on doing it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I don't understand. At what point do you stop telling people what you want and they just have to guess? Because as a kid, you go, well, I want a fucking, scooter and then you get a scooter and you're fucking over the moon and then suddenly we stop telling people and you have to guess and then that's when you end up with some shit that you don't want keep fucking stay as a stay as a child treat it like that and just tell them every year what the fuck you want it makes it a lot easier for everyone it does it really does although i probably would take rose to the pub weirdly i'll take a leaf at 16 yeah i'll take a leaf out pete's book that's not a present that's just a fucking that fucking your presence so she you are one i'll Tell you what, when your daughter's 16, she gets to come to the pub.

22:26Lucky, lucky people. Do you know what it is? My presence is presence enough is kind of how you go about it. No, birthdays are really important. I mean, they're all important, but birthdays are like the more expensive things. Then Christmas is the more thoughtful things. Oh, so it would be a nice pub? No, for Rose, the reason I'd do it is because I'd make it into a Christmas tradition. And I'd be like, I'm going to take my daughter. On her birthday? On her Christmas? On Christmas. I'd take her to the pub. Well, not on Christmas Day. I'm taking this problem Christmas Eve maybe because a friend of mine does this with their granddad and they have a really nice time together and I just feel like it's quite nice to go for like a like a beer or something and like and make that into a tradition just once everything yeah so what's the present?

23:10whatever she wants really there you go there we go lovely I'd like to enforce a tradition like every Christmas well there you go Maybe a pyramid made as well. There you go, Kelly. So what would we get Olive and Rose for Christmas? Rose would get a false tradition. And Olive would get an envelope of cash. I don't think we understood the question there. What would you get for a present? I'd take her to the pub. Do you know what I love? Fuck me. It's just such bad answers. If that was a test, it's such a fail. Well, all that says there is that we don't listen. Anyway. And that's a good point and a metaphor for any man.

23:57Hey team, I've not stopped thinking about producer Pippa Ann. Oh, Pippa Ann. Instagram story where she asked Pete to meet her somewhere and then sent him the address of a Christmas theme bar. Oh, nice, yeah. Please explain how Pete ended up agreeing to this. Did he get into the spirit? Sam, what are your top three locations you would like to see Pete reacting to? and can we aim to make them happen in 2026, please? Love the podcast from Nyla. That's a great question. How did I end up in the fucking Christmas place? Well, I mean, listen, I'll give you a brief rundown of it. I left my wallet at the office, asked Pippa to pick it up for me and that day was actually her anniversary.

24:35So I went to pick it up. Her and Jack were at a Christmas-themed bar. She didn't mention that to me. And then said, yeah, meet us here and I had to go pick up my wallet. and I walked into what effectively was like Christmas had thrown up in a dingy little bar in Covent Garden. It was like Santa's fucking pocket. It was horrendous. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life, to be perfectly honest with you. Firstly, because I was on their anniversary date. Yeah, that's wild. That was one of the worst parts of it. They'd ordered me a cocktail, which was basically a straw up a reindeer's arse, I think, which tasted like fucking cherry syrup.

25:11and then I sat there and had one drink listening to All I Want for Christmas is You whilst they stared in each other's eyes. Is that actually how it happened? Yeah, pretty much. So you were actually on your anniversary? Yeah. Hey, it's Paige DeSorbo from Giggly Squad and this episode is supported by Rothy's, the brand famous for chic, comfortable flats. My listeners know I love to start an outfit with the shoes and there's nothing better than a great flat in the fall. They're timeless, they make everything look more polished, and Rothy's iconic pointed flat, The Point, has been reimagined to be better than ever.

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27:30Way fair, every style, every home. about what isn't talked about. Talk to your provider or request Cologuard Plus online, Rx only. Not even joking you. And I went, I'll just pop in quickly. Then I sat down and there was a fucking cocktail there and I got fucking Christmas lights, Emily. I sat on a fake reindeer hide on a stool and nearly fell into a fucking tree. Well, I tried to leave straight away. He really banged his head. He really banged his head. Smashed me tree on the fucking light above twice. Smashed your tree? Smashed me head on the light above twice and nearly ripped it off the fucking ceiling, nearly kicked an elf down the stairs and thought, right, I think it's time for me to fucking go.

28:07And how long did he stay? Well, I wanted to just pick up the wallet and then it was, no, no, no, they'd arranged a stall for me, sat me down and then I drank reindeer piss for a bit. It was called a cheery cherry saurus. And then I kept trying to leave and then I'm just, no, stay. No, no, I don't want to stay. So I was there for about, what, half hour? that's a good stint. Yeah. It was about 29 minutes longer than I wanted to be there. So, yeah. So, yeah. If you're wondering how close to Staying Relevant team are, we share anniversaries now. I'm really, yeah. I'm really looking forward to Josh's next anniversary.

28:47What are we doing for it? Whatever you want, mate. Yeah, there you go. It was a fucking weird bar, that though. Where would we like to take Pete that would just garner a lovely reaction? I don't feel like this podcast is Staying Relevant anymore. I think it should just be called Let's Fuck Off Pete. Disneyland would be a fucking great one. Yeah, but do you know what? I'd love it. Wow. Love Disney. Love roller coasters. I would love Disneyland. Teamed out to Disneyland. Obviously, that's now on the list. You all know this, don't you? I do like Disney, and I fucking love a theme park. Oh, my God.

29:18Okay, if you like a theme park, we should probably go to Universal in the States. Yeah, I would. Star Wars Land. No, no, you've lost me there. Like, the rides and that. But, like, yeah, Tara, Tara doing all that. I love shit like that. Pokemon World in Japan. No, lost me there. Pokemon World Japan is meant to be sick. Yeah, but this is the problem. It's like I say, see, this is where we go wrong. We never do anything nice for me. Nothing is nice for me. Like I like theme parks and then suddenly it's turned into you're going to have me chasing Pokemon in Japan. Do you know what I mean? Well, it's compromise, isn't it?

29:50No, but it's not. What we do is what you want. I don't understand where the compromise is. When have we ever had a day, right? Yeah, it's a question for you. How about in 2026 we do a peak day where we do something I want? Buttercups, goats, goats. Yeah, we did one, yeah, and he didn't fucking go. So there you go. So I get forced into doing whatever Sam wants. How about in fucking 2026 we have a peak day and we watch him have a meltdown and switch off within 10 minutes when it's something that I want to do? What would that be, do you think? Just anything, I think. Let me have a think about a day that I'd really enjoy.

30:29and also that I maybe wouldn't I'd love to go to the theme park with you yeah but that's we'd actually enjoy that but then you would make a way of just ensuring that I didn't enjoy it because like me saying I'd be the other theme park so then what it would be is but we're only allowed to go into Star Wars land you know you can look at the rest of the rides but you can't go on them I've got a really good one but you do have to go and fucking shake hands with R2 Dick 2 whatever his name is R2 Dick 2 do you know what I've got a good one for you though go on what won't I enjoy now? Comic-Con. There you go.

31:00Comic-Con. Yeah. Absolute. Another day, another day, Pete hates. No, no, no. How do you know you'd hate it? You get to meet all your favourite stars, like Star Trek. Yeah, none of them are my favourite. See what I mean? This is, I don't, you meet everyone you like, I don't want to. I don't like them. I don't know who they are. So why would I love it? Everyone walks around in different outfits. Oh yeah, sounds great. Must be St. Pete will love. No, Pete hates that. So why would you take him there? Comic-Con's great. You've never been. I really want to go. Then go. I want to go with you. No one's stopping you.

31:35It's like cheese at Christmas. Go anytime you fucking want. I want to go with you. No, because I'll hate it. So you don't actually want to go. If you really wanted to go, you'd go. You only want to go with me because I'll hate it. So actually what you love, your favourite thing in the world to do is none of these things. Your favourite thing in the world to do is fuck me off. so what's what's your if Sam could plan his best day piss Pete off doing what anything anything I've got I've got a good compromise here we go no you'll like this one I guarantee you that there you go I guarantee you'll like it see it's like it's like one of them you can see all your favourite characters don't know them all so why would why would they be my favourite this one you're going to love all your favourite characters Natural History Museum yeah I knew it I don't mind a museum but again what you do is you'd then do the tour and find a way of lying to me about all the things there and the only place we'd go there is like the Greek fucking area where you know everything and I'd have to sit through a talk and a lecture from you about it.

32:31And then when I go, can we go into another area? I'd be like, oh no, not really. And we'd just go in the areas that you want and then I wouldn't get to see any of the bits that I want. Or would you like to see from a natural history museum? I've not been in years, to be honest. I don't really know what's in it. Don't mind dinosaurs, actually. I find it quite interesting. Yeah, I don't mind that. I don't mind museums. Teamed out to a natural history museum could be quite nice. Science museum? Great. See, I prefer that. Yeah, we could do that. Because that's like more animal related as well. All of that sort of stuff.

32:59It goes to Big Joe Science Museum. One of the museums we will go as a team for Pete next year. So again, so I've suggested some things or I'm thinking of things to think about. Yet again, he's picked where we're going, but it's for me. Do you see how this works? I said, I'll have a think about it, about what I want to do next year, but he's now picked where we're going to a museum. See, you're still picking. Okay, sorry. I'll have a little think. I'll back off. All right. So are we agreeing that as a team, that one day out of 365 next year, all right, 364 of them, you can piss me off. But can I have one day?

33:33You can have one day, but... Thanks. It has to be a day time. There you go. See, limitations. Has to be a day out. Limitations. Anything. Honestly, I'm being held hostage by my own podcast. It's fucking mental. I don't even know where we're at. Nyla. Question time. Oh, question time. Question time. What should you buy a mother-in-law for Christmas, Pete? Envelope of cash. Candle. Surely. Mother-in-law, so you're married. It's difficult, isn't it? Because it's fucking personal. Like, you know, your mother-in-law, she might be a dressage rider. So in which case, bias ain't to do with all sit. I don't know.

34:25Or your mother-in-law might be in rehab, in which case, don't buy a bottle of booze. You know what I mean? Like I would go... Straight to White Company for me. Yeah, I would go... It's quite basic. I'd go with Lovely Flowers. You can't go wrong with fucking, yeah, White Company, Jo Malone. Yeah, you've got it. You know what I mean? Nice candle, a nice bathrobe. I mean, it's quite bland. Yeah, but you can't go wrong with it. But yeah, exactly. I think you're... That's a very good mother-in-law kind of... present. Nice little wicker basket full of bath bombs and all that. Lotions and potions. Here you go.

34:58Yeah. Hamper. Yeah, a nice hamper. Maybe a Fortnum and Mason. Oh, lovely. Yeah. Little F &M. Yeah, like, you've made the effort. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? You've bought something nice. She knows you've spent a couple of quid on it. Yeah, exactly. She can use the back. She can always use the Fortnum and Mason box for other things as well, to store things, just so people know she's got one. Yeah, once that's done in January it becomes a fucking, a little kitty cat's bed. Yeah, or you can put your shoes in it or something. Yeah, you can put your shoes in it. Yeah, you can put your shoes in it.

35:22Very, very nice. Yeah, and then when she's having a bath, she can think. Wow. Pete, this next one's for you as well. What do you actually eat on Christmas Day? I've said it before and I say it again. I have a curry.

35:38I've never heard you say that. Yeah. You said that as if I get such a well-known pick. It is. Honestly, I feel like I've spent the last month answering this question and every December people go, so what do you actually do on Christmas Day? I have a curry. What kind of curry? Oh, it depends, really. What did I have last year? I had a bit of Sagaloo and fucking... So basically, obviously, I spend Christmas at home. So I order a curry. It's the only place open and it's fucking great. So I sit and have a curry. Get a fucking... Oh, a bit of sweet mango chutney. No, I don't like that. No, really? No, because that's a dessert.

36:16Oh, what? I don't like fruit in my fucking... Mango chutney is not a dessert. For me, it is. It's sweet. I don't put fruit on me fucking dinner. Mate, I put mango shunny all over my curry. No, no, you dirty man. Do you not do that with a poppadom? Oh, my God. No, I want the fucking... No, no, no, no. What do you put with the poppadom? Mint and cucumber one. I like... Yeah, maybe that's more than I'm red, though. Onion salad, I really like. You love abadji, though. Yeah, I love abadji. A bit of sagaloo. Yeah, so I just have a curry. But, and I think that's really... It's good, you know what I mean?

36:45A couple of fucking bottles of Tiger. I can get that done. say hello to the fucking village. It's fucking great. You sit there, banging. I do actually quite like a tiger. Yeah, mate, tiger's great. You have a curry and a fucking nice ice cold fucking tiger and then what I do is I put my pint glasses and I'll fucking get frosted glass. Put it in the freezer. Lovely. Sit there and fucking stuff my face with a little bit of fucking sagaloo and that and then hopefully I'm drunk enough to fall asleep by 8pm. Christmas round pizza doesn't sound too bad actually. Do you know what I mean? It's quite nice.

37:15Old Western on the TV probably as well. but I don't because I don't eat like curry a lot through the year because it does remind me of Christmas yeah so then I really look forward to because I'm like oh I really fancy a curry for Christmas so you're doing so there we go yeah but that's my Christmas he does look forward to something for Christmas yeah because it's like that's my tradition that's a lovely tradition to have but yeah that's what I sit and do we found the Christmas spirit yeah so basically next Thursday I'm having a curry. It's curry night round Pete. Next Thursday's curry night. That's all we've got time for for the bonus episode.

37:57What a lovely way to end it. If you want to join Pete for a curry, his address is... No, no. We've missed the point. I want to be left alone. God, you're so mad how much my dad you sound. Honestly, he sounds like... Big Mike can pop round. Mate, honestly, he would. He would. He hates Christmas. Does he? Yeah. Mate, you have no idea how similar you are to my dad. Does he actually? Mate. Oh, we need to discuss this for a minute. You are so similar. He doesn't even get me presents. Yeah. He used to give me money in an envelope. And now, and last time I got a present from him, I got a Toblerone. I'll be honest with you, Sam.

38:32You are 33 and rich. No, I'm not expecting anything. But like, what I find even better for my dad is my dad will still get me something, but it's a bar of Toblerone. And I'm like, Dad, just don't get it. That's because he's recently flown back from Spain and remembered. Yeah, he's just come back from Antigua. Max has gone, oh, he'd better get South fucking Toba. Mate, he's literally, it's one of those jumbo packs you can only get from those fucking duty-free. Yeah, fucking go on, big mate. And then I got some Maltesers once. And then he'll get me some Vetiver spray sometimes as well. Some what?

39:05Vetiver, it's like this really cheap fucking aftershave that, again, you buy duty-free. There you go. But I'm like, Dad, just don't get me anything. Yeah, but it's worse, that. It's the thought that counts. Or sometimes he'll buy me some cigars, actually, which is nice. That's good. You'll get me some cigars. See, I'd like that. You know, we love a cigar. He gets me a cigar now, which is nice. You are surprisingly like my dad. You've said this a couple of times. Mate, I bet it's your mannerisms as well. Like, you are clinically generous, like almost overly generous, but then very bitty about the little things, which is exactly like my dad.

39:39Now, my dad, I could get expelled. So if little baby Olive got expelled from school, Pete wouldn't be that annoyed he'd be like okay suspended let's say Pete wouldn't be that annoyed he'd be like just don't let it happen again right but if Olive's room was messy I reckon he'd have a go oh I'd lose my shit exactly he's so like my dad and there's so many more that I won't bore you with but there's so many more isms that you have the same with my dad that my sister's pointed out as well oh fuck that's why you get along with him so well I do love Big Mike worst people to be like though no I do like Big Mike Big Mike's good anyway he's done a fabulous job with you so I'd be happy with that If Olive turned out like you, I'd be happy.

40:14Hooray! Just not with the cock and bollocks. Yeah, and the beard's a problem. Thanks for listening to Sam Relevant with me and Sam Thompson. So we've still got two more episodes to come before the end of 2025. And then that's us for a year. But this has been Christmas. Hope you have a fucking wonderful day, whatever you do. Absolutely smash it out of park. Have a wonderful... I can't believe I haven't worn this for the entire thing. Well, at least you've done it now. He's at the very, very end. Have a wonderful night to be so much. We love you so, so much. Our hearts are bursting from love and all the cheese.

40:52This has been a Staying Relevant production. Hello, Relevanters. We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog, Marry, Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. so prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.