Staying Relevant Does Come Dine With Me?!

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0:40Welcome to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode hosted by me, Sam Thompson, and Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph Wicks. There will be swearing. If you don't like it, go f*** yourself. This is a bonus episode, which means it is Thursday and you can watch this on Josh, Kira and Paul's YouTube channel for 5pm on Sunday. And then Monday's main episode with a very special guest, Paul Singer. You can watch as of 5pm last night, which was Wednesday, which means you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. I just want to say Pippa didn't do that. I just want to throw it out there. All right, so she'll do it on her own.

1:13I just want to put it out there. When can you catch us, Pippa? Well played. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday Are you Is that acceptable? It is acceptable Yeah I just I don't mean to rat you out I'm sorry No no no no I really appreciate that Yeah we've all got to be a team here Yeah I really Genuinely appreciate that It was good I hadn't even noticed Alright enough now Sorry Make sure you rate, reviewed All of that crap You know the score by now And if you want to get involved In these bonus episodes And you want to send us an email Or send us anything Then email the worst email address In the world which is Hello at srproductions.co.uk Beautiful.

1:46Let's get straight in with an email from Stacey. Oh, okay. She says, what item would you two create if you're on the M &S product development team? Another way it's M &S, oh, it's because obviously we've tried quite a few M &S things. Oh, that's a great one. Okay, I've got one. Baclava bar. I don't know what baclava is. Baclava is one of my favourite desserts. It's like honey, filo, pastry, like nuts. I'd make it a pistachio baclava bar. because quite often you have to buy them in big things. You can't get baklava on the go. So it would be a baklava on the go, bar, three sort of cubes of baklava, and yeah, honey would be my kind of, they're quite wet and syrupy.

2:32So maybe, I don't know, there's a way that we could, you know, sort of creme brulee part of it and make it sort of with a crisp edge with that kind of gooey, syrupy, nutty centre. Very sweet. Very sugary. Good kick of sugar throughout the day. Baclava on the go. B on the G. I like that. That actually sounds quite good, Rob. I can't. Guys, what the hell? Don't hate it. Don't hate it. Baclava on the go. Really great. You've had baclava. I might have, but I just can't remember the name. You know, it's like filo and it's all nuts. I like honey and I like... Mate, who doesn't love a bit of baclava?

3:06Might be a pepperami and mushroom sandwich. So a pepperami sliced with raw mushroom. Yeah. sandwich buttered no no butter no i'm dry you got going dry what bread do you know what lettuce if you're one of them a healthy lettuce bun things so a a pepperami pepperami mushroom would you roll it into a wrap that's a great idea because then you could just have the pepper i'd have it in no no no no i got a whole new one fuck that off you know turkey twizzlers I would have a pepperami and mushroom Twizzler. Wrapped in lettuce. Yeah. Iceberg. Yeah. Something crunchy. That is class. Any sauce? No, I don't think you need it.

3:47No? I don't think, I think maybe you can, no, no. I'm going to go with no. And the mushrooms raw. Mushrooms raw, pepperami, and they're twirled around each other. And then you've just got an iceberg lettuce around it. Yeah, okay. All right. All right. So you ever been to like them garages where you have like chicken on a stick? Yeah. would you put it on a stick and maybe have it like a kebab? No, I'd have it in a packet. Because it's quite hard. I'd have it in a pack like the pepperoni pack. Or would you have it like, you know, them, the things that you get from M &S, it's like the cheese wrapped in salami.

4:19Or like, would it be in little kind of bite sizey bits? Or would it just be a big, because the lettuce, I just feel like. I think, because we're at M &S right now and they do those kinds of things. Picky bits, isn't it? It'd be in a picky bit. You're right. It'd be a little trays. So you could have like, like, like baby, baby ice jam lettuce. with a little sort of half pepperoni in. Exactly, with the mushrooms. With the mushrooms in. Almost like a little scallop shit, just folded over, and then you could just pick, almost like a little taco. Yeah. Delicious. Okay. All right, sounds fucking awful.

4:47No, it doesn't sound delightful. Wow. But maybe even a little bit of parmesan in there as well. Okay, all right. Well, just sort of a sprinkled sort of flaked parmesan. I'm actually salivating from that. So there you go. So you can get yourself some picky bits, baklava on the go, or a sort of a lettuce, pepperoni and raw mushroom taco. Get them both. Yeah, well, you know, we're catering for two there. Drink? What drink? Now, I'm going to go a bit rogue here. Yeah, go on. A pistachio iced latte in a can, because like Jimmy's coffee. Jimmy's coffee is actually really good in a can. I don't like it when it's in the cardboard because the can keeps it a little bit cooler.

5:25But yeah, with a heavy hit, a double espresso shot, double pistachio, nice pistachio latte. saying a can. Maybe a canned coconut water. Okay. All right. Canned coconut water. But if you're developing it, just add a twist. Taste my nut. So with Sam's tacos, Thompson's tacos, you can have a taste my nut. Yeah. And it's just coconut water. Would you add something just to change it? To be honest with you, actually, I'd probably add some bubbles to it, to be honest with you. So you'd have... A carbonated... A carbonated... A fizzy coconut water. A fizzy coconut water. Not bad, Sam. Not aggressively fizzy, though.

5:59Just like a... Mildly flat. Wildly, yeah, not flat. I think we've done quite well there as a product development team. I actually do as well. Maybe that is the next thing. What about a staying relevant, like, cake stall? We've spoken about come dine with me and cook coffee type things. Maybe if we all came up with our own combination of something, if we all said sandwich or we all said drink or we all said something, and then we could invite a load of people, maybe to the next run club, a refreshing after-run drink, set up the stands and see who sells most. as a product development. We could do that.

6:34We could also do a little MasterChef another day as well. Like an actual, like... We said, like, a come dine with me. We should have come dine with me where we go to each other's gaffes. Or just Le Relevant. Yeah. I feel like that's easier because otherwise it's, there's quite a lot of the team. We go to each other. It's like eight weeks. Do you have the utensils there to actually cook something? Well... He did, to be fair, but like, yeah. But that's part of the fun. I mean, you can bring in pre-prepared and heat up to do something, you know. All right, we do that for sure. Look at the mind boggles at what we could do.

7:07Have you seen Bring Your Own Board? Go on. It's like a themed board about yourself. So it's a board of like full of different foods and snacks and drinks that represent you. Should they say Pete's a narcissist? No. It's a board that represents yourself. You'd love it. Everyone brings, like I'd bring a paper board with all my things on and drinks and then we all have to have each other's boards. Like a smorgasbord of personality. Yeah. I feel like we'd all have quite similar ones. Do you not think we'd have quite similar ones? No. Me and you? Fuck no. Might be Mediterranean. No. Sorry. It's not your favourite cuisine.

7:47It's all the things you like. So yours would have a dash on it. It would have a pepperoni. It would have a raw mushroom. It would have... Oh, so we're not actually trying. No, it's just all the bits that your favourite things that are like your food. So yours would have like a magnum on it that you like a, like mine would have a Guinness. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine would have pistachio latte. Mine would have cheese string. I do like a cheese. I love a cheese string. I do like a cheese string. Yeah. It would also have sort of tiger bread. I love tiger bread. Grilled, lots of butter and a sprinkle of salt.

8:17It would have celery with salt to dip in because that's one of my favourite snacks. It would have rye vitas. Oh, that's a weird one. No, mate. You lost me then. No, a Rye Vita with a nice slab of cheddar and a bit of Piccadilly. Fine, yeah, fine. I just think you could do a Cars water biscuit over a Rye Vita. No, a Rye Vita for me. I've just really, the real, you know, Rye Vitas are fucking really underrated. It's a bit too dry for me. No, no, no, because if you put a little bit of butter on it, it gets in the little holes and you get just a kick of butter. Oh, tasted that one. Yeah, no, I'd probably have some quail's eggs with some celery salt.

8:55Yeah, a pheasant that you caught this morning. I'd have, what else would I? I'd have a couple of prawns, pill pill on there. Oh, I don't know how they travel on your board. Yeah, I don't know how they do travel. I'd give it a go. All right. Well, there you go. Food for thought. Right, next up. This is mental. I hate this already. To be honest with you, I'd like to skip it based on how we started the email. Howdy, partners. Thought I'd mix it up from the usual hay boys. Done. Now, we always hear about Sam's house and garden with the builders, but I often wonder what Pete's is like. I enjoy the occasional glimpses on Instagram story, but can we hear about the interior?

9:28What's in Pete's bedroom? Thanks from a nosy mat. Well, partner. I think we've seen mine. There's lots of plants. A bit of a Western theme there. Browns and creams. Lots of books opened on different pages. Some artwork and stuff. The bedroom, quite simple. I think the bedroom. A couple of houseplants in the corner, which are really thriving. based on all the glass and the front that I look after them. They had a lovely bit of food on the Sunday. So they're doing very, very well, very vibrant. Then obviously the bed. There are scatter cushions on the bed, believe it or not, chopped, which I do every day.

10:13It's a white linen, black large cushions. So obviously normal pillows. Black large cushions followed by cream, smaller ones that are chopped. Then there is a cream and black throw at the bottom of the bed and head ball black velvet. And then on the above, there is a large photograph of a man in a sort of a sitting on an office chair in a tux with a glass of whiskey. And it's shot just behind a woman's arse where she's just in lingerie. And it is in black and white. Then by the bed, there's some lovely little lamps. No pictures or anything, just some nice sort of lamps there. You're a caricature.

10:59You know, people go, what is it that Pete would have? That's a caricature of what Pete would have. You're like a caricature of yourself. Like that's mental. And then he's got the fuck off finger as well, that he likes the story every now and then. Yeah, there's lots of, the artwork, there's lots of black and white. All my artwork is black and white, apart from one movie poster. and I bet it's like the good, the bad and the ugly or like something like that it's Joker it's Joaquin Phoenix coming down the stairs I'm surprised at a chopped cushion that means he's getting the cushion he's planting it and he's chopping it I imagine daily do we?

11:36yeah there's the picture yeah so this was I mean this was quite a while ago so bedrooms like that it's quite dull to be honest with you not that interesting and then and then there's a dressing room next door. You do have still in your heart of hearts and your soul a little bit of I work in a recruitment company. In what way? You've still got a bit of city boy in the layout of your gaff. It's not very lived in, is what I would say. It looks like it should be in New York. Yeah, exactly. It's the kind of place that you can imagine being like shagging against the window. Okay. That was a lot. I mean, you can't really see this dining room table, just sort of marked hands, blacks.

12:17Anyway. Do you know what's funny? is I'm sure a lot of people are going to find that fascinating. If you could invent a country, what are you naming it? Where in the hemisphere would it be? Well, you're inventing it. Okay, cool. Fine. I'm putting it as an island, an island country, so it's little. Well, it doesn't have to be little. In between, no, I would like it to be. Okay. In between, sort of like Sicily, Sardinia on the other side. So kind of where I'd be through now. So it's a Mediterranean. A Mediterranean vibe or a Greek island. One of those two. And I'm calling it Live in the Vida Loca.

12:56The country. So representing Live in the Vida Loca. And Ricky Martin's our fucking national anthem. So everyone is, God save our gracious. Live in the Vida Loca. She'll push and pull you down. Her skin's a colour mocha. Mate, yeah, that's what I would do. Okay. Although it wouldn't be called, it would be called... So you're just making Ricky Martin. No, it'd be called Vida Loca. Vida Loca. Vida Loca. Okay. So, oh man, I'm going to get a flight to Vida Loca. What does that mean? Living in the Vida Loca. No idea. I believe it's life's crazy, no? We would specialise in... That suits you. Vida Loca's good, actually.

13:34Yeah, we'd specialise. It'd be like a fun town. Like, there'd be one town in the country. It wouldn't even be a big country. And it'd like, not many roads. One town, so the capital is the only town. No, sorry. Okay, fine. There's a city but small. Okay. So, and that's the capital. Yeah. Much like Ibiza. Okay. And then, and then you've got, and then you've got, although it is a country, but then you've got like dirt roads coming down. No, it's not Ibiza's a country. My one's a country. So, so what you're, so, okay. Okay. Let me just, so, because Ibiza isn't a country. Yeah. It'd be the size of that.

14:05It'd be the size of Ibiza. So you just want to make Ibiza a separate country and call it Vida Loca in terms of size, roughly where it is. Yeah. Would it be like Ibiza in terms of, no. Okay. It'd be local. Okay. It'd be local. We'd actually be like, get away. So if you could just buy Ibiza as an island, in terms of the layout, everything of Ibiza, in terms of you've got the hills, you've got the mountains, you've got the beaches, you've got all that, you just plop it somewhere else, call it Vida Loca. It's not part of Spain, but that's the size roughly. That's the kind of the feel you get when you're on the island, but not partly.

14:37I kind of want a little bit more Cuba. Wow. A little bit more Cuba. Yeah. I want us to like make cigars. Right. Vida Lokans. Yeah. Vida Lokans. I want us to make cigars. I'll be the dictator. So that's cool. You're going to be a dictator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Christ. Yep. I'll be the dictator. So we've gone from, yeah. El Hederal. Okay. El Hederal. El Hederal. El Hederal. Okay. All right. Yeah. And that's what we're doing. It'd be a festive. So you've got, you're like Fidel Castro. It's plopped somewhere around sort of like Sicily, the Mediterranean. There is one city called. Luca. Just loka. So Vida Loca, capital loka.

15:19Yeah. You are, are you a prime minister, a king or? No, I'm the dictator. You are just the dictator of Vida Loca. I'm the god king. And a god king. Of Vida Loca. Vida Loca does translate to life's crazy. So I feel like that's a nice thing. And we just have a fucking good time, man. We make our own food. You make Vida Loca and cigars. Yeah. Okay. Everything's built on Ireland. What's your biggest import export?

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16:27Fish. We're a fishing country. We don't have much, but what we do have, we have in abundance. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a Vida Loken a net and he'll fish for a lifetime. Exactly. And we're fiercely loyal. we're fiercely loyal to our national to our country very patriotic yeah like us versus Argentina in the World Cup would be a problem right yep yep yep and that's how we roll yeah if you fuck around though genuinely like we've got kind of Singapore style rules like we're clean we're cleanly so in Singapore there was a time where like you wouldn't be able to litter or anything like that and you'd like oh you actually meant clean I thought you meant clean up like if you fuck around I thought you meant like you kill people no no no right sorry You just meant littering.

17:16If you steal, we take a finger. If you steal, we take a finger. So just remember that before we fucking fly into Vida Loca. No drug dealing in our gaff either. So like Thailand. If anyone's doing the dealing, it's El Hederal. Everything runs through El Hederal. Devin or my patch, I'll tell you that much for damn sure. We have submarines for that shit. So it's a small island but has a fleet of submarines. No one fucks with them, especially if you litter. We got a navy. None of that drug stuff unless it goes through El Hederal. All right, life's crazy. Not as crazy as shit gets if you don't obey the rules of the dictator El Hederal.

17:53And we don't drive modern cars. We only drive like 60s vehicles. Okay. Or open top Jeeps. Nice. I like it. I mean, you've actually, I feel like you've thought that through. I've built that. I've built that little country in my head there. Well, amazing. What have you got? Part of the UK. Again, it would be a small sort of island. Anywhere in the world part of the UK? Yeah, yeah, yeah. North Sea. The North Sea? Yeah, yeah. Nice and cold. Just off of sort of like the Orkney Islands and that of Scotland. I'd just go slightly further above. It would be a small country. Think like Greenland. Something along them lines.

18:33It would be mostly wilderness. Not very built up at all. You could travel from one side of the country to the other in a day. So quite compact. Really, I'd say population of… 50. No, no, no, a bit more. It's a country. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd say a population of under 10 ,000 as a population. Country and name, but not really anything else is what you're saying then. Yeah, but it would be farming land. Yeah. You know, exports would be produce and whatnot. Imports were likely to be more everyday things that we don't have there. cars and shit like that because there wouldn't be factories for all that sort of stuff.

19:10Just a really lovely kind of area. Nice place to bring up the kids. Very rural. So there would be a kind of a main city. We would, again, be an island. So you'd be surrounded by a lot of, there'd be ports and stuff. So a lot of produce and that stuff would come in. So a lot of the community would be built around a main kind of port type city. Maybe a fishing place as well. Yeah, absolutely. There'd be lots of fishing. Do you know what they have in the North Sea? Alaskan crab. Yeah, well, listen, there'll be a lot of crab there. but yeah sort of a main kind of port town would be the the capital I'd call it Drondeo oh Drondeo very nice Drondeo doesn't sound very Drondeo oh Drondeo Drondeo are you from Drondeo everyone have an accent how have you got that in the North Sea it's my country even that you need to come down near me we would be bilingual so we would speak a a mixture of Spanish and English.

20:08Sounds like he fled La Vida Loca. Set up on my own, yeah. He fled El Generale and set up in the North Sea. Yeah, a big sort of like pub community there. Just a real nice way of life. And then there's one murderer and there's a TV show made around that, like the one murderer of the 10 ,000th country. Yeah, yeah, the killer of John Dayo. Yeah, the killer of John Dayo. And it becomes like a Netflix proper good doc. And it actually turns out to be Pete. I think I'd make a Senate. You'd be an elder. Yeah, I'd be an elder within, but it would be very democracy-based. But that's only when they make good decisions and then if they make a bad decision, I have the deciding vote.

20:46So you'd be emperor? Yeah, yeah, effectively. I'd be emperor of Drondaya. Yeah. What clothes would you wear as emperor? You could just dress how you like. A lot of flannel shirts and denim. Nice, okay. So not like toga and up or anything like that? No, no, no, no, no. He's modern. Yeah. You know, cars can be anything. But a lot of people travel around Drondale on kind of horseback. Oh, nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're not equipped for modern machinery and roads. Yeah. That's kind of how I would like it. It was just a happy, we don't war, we don't fight. No. Drondale. I like that, Drondale.

21:20Sounds great. Drondale, not John Dale. John Dale could be someone that lives there, but it's Drondale. Where are you going to fly to? John Dale. Yeah. One airport. No, it's the Pete Wicks airport or the Rondeo airport? No, no, no, no. I wouldn't want to... Listen, I'd allow myself to have the oldest tree in the country named after me. Maybe a statue. A little bit like Avatar. It's the sort of tree of life. Yeah. Just a small one then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But other than that, the airport, you know, and other bits, they can name what they like. We'd have a hospital, obviously. Rondeo General Infirmary.

21:55Yeah. General Infirmary. I'll be honest with you. out of the two I do feel like Sam sounds like a place that I'd like to go more than my own country it sounds very fun there mine sounds like a cross between Planet of the Opes and Avatar do you know what yours actually sounds like in my head all I have is the Bone Temple what's that 28 Days Later where they live on an island it's literally the North Sea and they live on an island and the zombies are on the mainland and they've got like a wooden palisade fence around good community though I would build a wall. You can't get a flight out. Yeah, no.

22:30Yeah. Once you're in, you're in. Yeah. And there's also just like, there's also just like a few people and there's like a couple of legends that sort of like come to pass every now and then. It's just sort of like. What's this film? I feel like I need to watch this. It's called 28 Days Later. 28 Days Later. Then there's 28 Years Later and then there's the bone sample after that. It's good. Fucking good series. Well, there you go then. That answers it. Look at us. We really do have some great questions. We would have a thing. We would have a thing park though. That's a weird thing to have And you don't have cars.

22:56And it doesn't have a car, but he's got a theme park. Who's getting on that? It would be the best in Europe. No, it wouldn't because you wouldn't. It'd be built on wooden stilts. It'd be terrifying. No, this isn't... John Dayo isn't the ice age. You ride on horseback. Out of choice. You have no cars. No, you can have cars, but you have to put in a request for a car because I'm only allowing a certain amount of cars per square mile. What constitutes you getting a car? need? What is your necessity? I can actually see this happening. Are you unable to ride horseback? God, I can see this happening.

23:31I can see people coming up to Pete and pleading, begging, and Pete's on the throne as empty. What's your need? Do you have people within the family that are infirm or unable to ride? And I think, to be honest with you, I know this will cause some... But this is an imaginary island. We will be limiting one child per family. Interesting. And if you want to have more, that's fine. They're just not allowed to live on the island. So they can live with grandparents. you're going to chuck them off the island. No, I won't chuck them. He's going to do an inquisition where he sends people around houses.

24:07When you have a child. Banging on doors. They're like, quick, hide her in the basement. And there's going to be one of those Gestapo people when you come to the island. Where are your papers? Listen, when you come to the island, you let us know how many children roughly you want. What if they've lied? Well, then you're all going to have to leave the island. How are you going to find out they've only hit, they've hidden one? Because there'll be cameras in everyone's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you're going to bang on the door. Shit, they're here. Fuck. You've got to come in and be like. My personal building firm builds every house.

24:35Anyway, welcome to Drunk Day-O. You will not be leaving. Good. What a fucking great way to end, you know. What a bonus episode we've had there. Please come back next week when Sam will be hosting the podcast alone. Oh, I actually will be. I've been cancelled. No, but I actually, are you going to be away for a bit now? We're leading up to it, but also we've done some extra ones. So I'm not. Okay, fine. Have a lovely, lovely day. What a lovely episode. See you later, fuckers. This has been a Staying Relevant production.

25:09Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget, and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise.

25:46Hello, Relevanters. we wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid one of our favourite games all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the Genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We're sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me that one Genie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.