Would Sam & Pete Betray Each Other on Celebrity Traitors?!

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2:21Losing my religion Welcome That's R.E.M. To Stay Relevant, the bonus episode after just being serenaded by Peter James Jonathan Joseph Wicks. It was quite soft the way you did that. Classical FM. Yeah. Welcome to Classical FM. It's not Classical FM, Stay Relevant. Hey, fuckers. Yep. So if you hadn't guessed by now, they'll be swearing. If you don't like it, go f*** yourself. Specifically, cat people. This is the bonus episode, which means it's Thursday, but this is out audibly. And then you'll be able to watch this on Josh and Kiri's YouTube channel for 5pm on Sunday. And Monday's main episode, which came out audibly, you can now watch visually as of Wednesday at 5pm, which means you can catch us on a...

3:03Catch us on a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and a Sunday. Nice, nice, nice, nice. This is the bonus episode, which means it's mainly about you. But obviously, you know, the show is predominantly about us. We just like to make you feel included. so if you want to be part of this episode and you want to get in touch with us then please do at the worst email address in the world which is hello srproductions.co.uk yes rate review do all of that crap you know the score by now let's do an email i think you should start this because i hate the way that they've i love the start i is very up my street here aloha and this is from the rock.

3:41Aloha. Can we petition the creators of the new in-betweeners to give Sam and Pete a cameo? Pippa, get on it, please. Also seen my jammer in the gentleman. What TV show would you two be cast in? Big love. Kath in Glasgow and baby Abigail as well. PS. I'm going back to work after being on maternity leave for the last year. Thank you all so much for keeping me laughing during the screaming, puking and torture levels of sleep deprivation. Your videos have been a godsend during night feeds. That's very, very sweet. Thank you so, so much, Kath. Beautiful stuff. So let's start with Myron Gentleman. Good for her.

4:20She's actually good in it, by the way. I've watched it. She's very, very good in it. Good. Is there anything a woman can't do? No, other than do this podcast. Yes, other than that. She's very good at not doing the podcast. She has been asked many a time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what? That was a really nice example of kind of just lobbing it up for you to smash home that. I enjoyed that. That was good. So, Inbetweeners. So, if we were to be cast in Inbetweeners in a cameo role. I'd love that. What would you like? Where do you see yourself? I don't know. Probably, well, I guess they're sort of a bit more grown up now, aren't they, to be fair?

4:56But I imagine I'd probably be really good friends with either Neil probably or Jay. Yeah, I would put you as if let's we don't know what's going to be happening with Inbetweeners movie and how they're going to be doing it. But I presume they're all at work now. What do you reckon they do? Oh, good question. I reckon Jay sells secondhand car. I can so see it. And I think you work with Jay. That would be your cameo. Nice. I think you would be sort of, I think Jay would be your boss. Oh, as if? And he takes you under his wing and he's like, you know, and you just believe everything he says and that's kind of, that would be your role.

5:40So, and let's just say, if we leave it in the same thing, I also work at the secondhand car showroom, but I'm the boss everyone hates who thinks he's better than everyone else and is generally just a moody **** and is incredibly mean to Jay. It's like horrible bosses. Yeah, basically. I'm horrible boss. And maybe you and Jay plan to kill me. I think that's probably how it's going. God, imagine if though, do you know when they do that dance, it's one of the best things to do that. We did it when James Buckley came and did this pod. That dance they did in Magaluf was one of the best things I've ever watched.

6:13If we could be a part of that dance troupe, that's like a proper bucket list thing I'd tick on. Well, maybe that's it. Maybe if they reenacted that dance thing, maybe we get to a point where you're behind the bar at the club. Yeah. And I start a fight with them. You knock us all out. We don't know Pete at this point. I'm like the guy who calls me a bus wanker and then he grabs him out of the car. Yeah, it's so true. Maybe I'm the new version of that. I imagine, I reckon Neil is some sort of high flyer running hedge funds. Well, just because of the contrast of what Neil actually is like, yeah. Yeah, and he's really grown up.

6:56Will works in a supermarket behind the deli counter. And he just hasn't been right for him. It's a real disappointment. Yeah, he was a real disappointment. And Simon is a teacher. At the same school. At the same school. Oh, God. Now, we genuinely don't know if any of that is true. Yeah, that's class. If we've just guessed that, that'd be fucking right. If there's anything along them lines, we'll come back to it. But I reckon that's where we're at. But yeah, listen, would we do a cameo? We're so in between us. Well, it depends. Is the cameo as ourselves? I would hope so. Or is the cameo as, you know, different characters and then we have to pull our, how's Trish?

7:34Acting into it. Do you want to have acting hats on? Who knows? Who knows? But yeah, listen, fuck it. We'd be up for it. We love James Buckley. Right, okay. So thanks for that, Kath.

7:48Next email. Good afternoon. My wife told me to listen to your podcast. And as I enjoy Pete's dog show, I thought I would give it a go. I don't know the other bloke, though, but have decided he's very funny. There you go. Thank God he didn't say it to ****. You've made a good first impression. I've now become aware of question time and want you to answer. Okay. If you only had one choice of the footwear to wear from the following two for the rest of your lives, what would it be? A pair of 1990s pointy brown shoes with a worn heel and a flattened toe that is considerably darker from the amount of walking in the rain outside a shit club off Tottenham Court Road, or two, a pair of box-fresh Lonsdale slip-ons.

8:29I love Lonsdale. My wife tells me you have already covered this question. Hopefully you can humour me and have another go. Well, and that's from Matei. Well, Matei, your wife's wrong. We've never covered this question. It'd be quite specific. So tell her to shut up. I used to love a slip-on. I know exactly the shoes they're talking about. The slip-on Lonsdales were class. Yeah, Lonsdale. Are they not Lonsdale? No, it's Lonsdale. I love a Lonsdale. I know exactly the show. I've had a fair few pair of the old Lonsdales. What a great, great. The laceless ones. Yeah, I know exactly what. Because I, funny enough, it's not funny at all.

9:16But do you remember the period I went through the Taekwondo Adidas trainers? Yes, I do. So because, well, I wouldn't be seen dead in Longsdale, but very comfortable. Very cushy. So I'm going to agree. And I'll tell you why is because firstly, they're box fresh, exceptionally comfortable. They go with a lot of things, you know. So I'll go with that. A pointy brown shoe with a worn heel and flattened toe. I did think you might think that's for me though as well, because the amount of time. Well, it's the Russell and Bromleys. It's the Russell and Bromleys. Because it's like he's describing my exact shoe.

9:54It sounds like he's describing one of his own shoes that his wife hates. Yeah. That's where it's to me. But also the kind of brown pointy shoe with the worn heel and the flattened toe, it kind of reminds me of those blokes that you see, like if you go to a rugby game and they're all wearing navy and some form of navy top, navy jumper, navy shirt, navy saying, brown belt, dark, like, navy jeans, and everyone has got a brown shoe, brown belt. It's like the go-to for that rugby aesthetic. You know when you see it on Instagram and fucking social media and all the other stuff, but it's basically the outfit, isn't it?

10:38It's the Twickenham. It's the Twickenham blokes that don't care that just go, listen, got a pair of shoes on, it's fine. they don't care about fashion they don't care about they go Navy and Brown that's what that reminds me of so I'm going to go box fresh Lonsdale as well I think I'll have to go both to be fair just because I love a Lonsdale but for fuck's sake I love a Lonsdale but you'll go with the Brownsdale as well just for smart occasions well just because it's very me the problem with going for both is that the question was which one so I don't think you know it's you have to pick one it's just like the which animals are prick all over again yeah so So I think if you have to, then I'm going to go Lonsdale.

11:18Okay, I'll go Lonsdale as well. Yeah, yeah. Listen, Matei, welcome as you're new here. What you've done, which a lot of people don't do when they email in, is you made us agree. So that's a good start. Yeah. And we look forward to future emails from you. And my name's Sam, by the way. Nice to meet you, Matei. Yeah, the other bloke is Sam, who you can hear. And I think I'm being quite funny today as well. So I'm glad. Let us know if you think he's been funny or sort of on levels. That would be great. But yes, welcome to the Staying Relevant Club. Got another one. We got another one. Hook, line and sinker.

11:52Yes, but I imagine that sentence has made him switch straight off and go and listen to I've shagged my mum or whatever it's called. Sexted my boss. Yes, that's the one. This part of the podcast is brought to you by AutoTrader. And they've sent us another epic challenge. And I'm coming for you, Peter. If you cast your minds back to last year, we did an incredible challenge on the track with Autotrader and I absolutely smashed Sam. I am the current champ. You beat me for half a second, mate. You cheated on the parking challenge. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Exactly. I did cheat. So you cheated and I still won.

12:30Yeah, that is true. Anyway, look, this year Autotrader have set us a bit more of a wholesome challenge this time. This one, we are taking the staying relevant team on a road trip. But it's still not that friendly because it is still a competition. We'll be battling out over every single activity we do as well. Like who has the best road trip snack, you know? And we're going to be rated out of 10 by the team. It's going to get dicey. And then at the end of the trip, we are going to be announcing the winner, which will be me. Well, today we're going to sort out the biggest moment of the trip so far.

13:01The destination? No, the car. We are picking the car. We can only take one car with us. Yeah. So we need to pitch some car ideas to the team and then they're going to vote. So it's basically the first part of the challenge. And because it's the car, it's double the points, I think. FYI, by the way, if I win, I imagine I drive. So just remember that as well, you know. That is going to be a problem. I'm going to be honest with you. Pete in the back with all of you guys. Ha ha, that's jokes. Yeah, I am not a good passenger and you are not a good driver. Well, I can get a belt. I'm excited though.

13:33And you know what that means, Sam? It's time for AutoTrader. Remember, we need to fit the whole team in these cars, Sam. Yes, they've got how many people? Let's just say we're looking for seven seaters. All right, fine. Well, give us five minutes. We'll go on the web, son. We'll be back relevant-ers. Right, Sam. Well, I have made my choice and there is absolutely no way the team aren't going to love my car. He's overly confident, everyone. I might just have a little ace up my sleeve. But before we start, how was the whole AutoTrader experience for you? You know what? It was unreal. I didn't really know where to start, if I'm honest with you, but they were like filters to help me.

14:06And also there's a new feature, which is I'm looking for. I genuinely hoped you hadn't seen that because it made it so much easier, that feature. I mean, I was typing in big boots, family car, and there was just hundreds of cars coming up. I found, I think, the perfect car. Do you think we're ready to pitch? Absolutely, 100%. Actually, do you think before we pitch them, should we practice? Yeah, to each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, who's going first? You go first. No, you go first. Now hit me. No, go on, you go first. Slap me across the face. No, no, no, no. I'll do that after you pitch.

14:33Okay, fine. Ready? I have a grandma. Okay, now let me land. Let me land. She's a lovely, dear old lady. And there is a car that she used to drive me and my family around in when I was a lot younger that I have seen on this website. Now - I mean, knowing your family history, is it a Rolls? It's actually a Hyundai Santa Fe 2017 Premium SE. That's quite a mouthful, isn't it? Yeah, it is. But it's got some great family memories in there. And it can fit the whole team. And also, it's comfortable. It's a smooth glide. I fell asleep loads. I don't have a grandmother. She didn't drive. That's not good.

15:18But if she were to drive, what she would love to drive is a Kia Sorento 2021. Why? Why? Because it's a cooler looking car than yours. It is in brilliant white. No way. Push the bow out even more, Pete. It's the perfect car for big family drives. Seven seats. And what's the boot space then? Boot space is amazing for all the extra luggage, all the snacks. Do you know what I mean? If Pippa wants to, she can bring two suitcases. 585 litres of boot capacity. How big is that? Show me. Massive. I guarantee you your car doesn't have Apple CarPlay. I guarantee it does. It doesn't. It's got an auto cable.

15:55If everyone wants to use the Apple CarPlay and everyone wants to connect, then I'll tell you what else might happen. You might run out of phone battery. But don't worry too much about that because there's charging ports for the whole team in the back seats. So there you go. Our next AutoTrader challenge is upon us. It's the Road Trip Challenge. So keep an eye out on all staying relevant channels, YouTube, all of that sort of stuff for the full competition. And obviously a massive shout out to AutoTrader for giving me another shot at redemption. They are the biggest and most trusted car marketplace around.

16:27And they've genuinely got something for everyone, including me and you. And those I'm looking for features are very, very handy. So if you get the urge to change your car soon for whatever reason, then it's time for AutoTrader. Download the AutoTrader app today. Question time. Here we go. right okay you guys usually like to back a cast member at early doors who's your favourite on Celeb Traitors this year Maya Jammer's doing it so we love Maya James Acaster cool but I'm gonna back someone else I'm backing Michael Sheen oh yeah nice move based on the fact that I really like the guy I do the Pride of Britain judging panel with him he's quite funny and he's a brilliant actor so I think he'll do really well but also I think we have to give a shout out to Ramesh Ramesh we love Ramesh is Rob Beckett doing it as well he is yeah so the two of them we both like Rob we saw Rob at the NTAs Ramesh really like so for me for me I think it's a Rob and Ramesh followed by Michael Sheen and Maya you'd have been further up but you keep fucking letting us down do you know what again someone who I thought you might go Ross Kemp do like Ross Kemp but he's not my favourite Mitchell brother fair enough Richard E.

17:46Grant that's big Yeah. Yeah, he's not my favourite. Grant, I prefer Hugh. I think he would say, Grant's great. But they're just, they're not my favourites of, you know, either. Yeah, Michael Sheen's a good shout. I like Leanne Pinnock as well. She's like, it's actually a fucking good line-up to be fair. If I was going for one. Well, you've mentioned all the ones that I've heard of and then there's 20 that I've never heard of. Yeah, there's a few that I don't know who they are. But there's one that I would go for. It's probably Ramesh. I like Ramesh a lot. I think he's a nice dude. Very funny. I think it's going to, him and Rob together would be fucking hilarious.

18:14Yeah, yeah. And then series three, me and Pete. No, I, again, I've still not watched it, but it's fundamentally lying and we've done a little role play. And, you know, if I was going to do it, I would only do it without you. Oh, as if, what? Oh, you'd give us away. No, I wouldn't. You wouldn't know anyway. We wouldn't be traitors together probably. Imagine if we were. Imagine me and Pete were traitors together. And I was looking at Pete going. yeah but I think it would be the end of our because you'd fuck it for us both and I'd never forgive you imagine if me and Pete got booted out first Pete was doing really really well and like I fucked it for the two of us we were the first people and that round table it would be so funny watching Pete back people it's not fucking me alright it's not me piss off I think the biggest problem that you know you and I would have is that you wouldn't accept me not telling you whether I'm a faithful or a traitor and you would genuinely just tell me and ask me what you should do.

19:19And if you told me you're a traitor and I was a faithful - What would you do? What would I do? Yeah. And I'd murder you. No, no, if I was a traitor and you were a faithful. Yeah, but so I imagine what you do is ask me advice. Yeah. Pete, I'm a traitor. I don't know what to do. And if I was a faithful, mate, I'd get to that round table and go, He's my best mate, so he asks for advice. He's a traitor. Let's get rid of him. No, if you did that, I would honestly, I wouldn't always, I'd clam up at the table. No, no, no. Fuck off, Pete. No, I didn't. I'm not fucking faithful. You'd be fine then. I'm not fucking faithful.

19:51What are you talking about? So. If you did that, I'd be so hurt. Do you, bothered? No, I would be, I would look at you. I would then look at him and be like, Pete, come on, we can't do this because people are actually going to vote me now as being a traitor. You can't do that. because now you're making people seem like I actually am. And if I did that and then I was looking at you going, come on, mate, I'm your boy. What if I was a traitor and I said, wait, listen, as if I'd like you, I'm faithful. And then we got towards the end and then you found out I was a traitor. I'd be really hurt. See what I mean?

20:19This is why we couldn't do it together. I'd be really hurt. What if you were both traitors, but Pete was doing really well and you got banished? And you know, when you have to stand up before you leave and do your little speech, are you saying it's him too? Oh, he'd take me down with him. I think you would. I don't think you're allowed to explicitly say, but you'd be like, yeah, boy, boy, like staring at him. I came in as a pair and really, really should be leaving as a pair. Use your brains. All right, read between the lines. Yeah, going to leave you with that. Pete, I'll see you next week. But yeah, I mean, look, yes.

20:55That speech should be fucking brilliant. So do you think, do you think you'd be able to? We should so do it together. Do you think you'd be able to work out whether I was a traitor or a faithful? No, and I'll tell you why. Because no matter what you said, right? Because like, I wouldn't be able to, you look at me like the way you're looking at me now. And if you looked at me and went, no, I'm genuinely faithful, right? Or if you were like, I'm a traitor, whatever. However you looked at me, I would think the other thing. You'd second guess that I'm double bluffing. Because I know you so well that I, and that you do your little smile that you do where you think you're like, And I just, I would laugh regardless and not know regardless because I think when you know someone so well, it's an example, if I went to GP, I'm a faithful.

21:38And I did it like that because I just can't not smile when talking to you about something that is so funny because we've discussed it so long. All right, I'll tell you what, let's practice this. Go to Pippa now. Pippa is going to tell you if you're a faithful or a trainer. Oh, my God, okay, cool. and then I didn't expect you all to get that excited. Just a quick role play. Oh, games at the office. Shut your ears as well because you might be able to hear. Shut your ears.

22:05What do you want? You can be a real big fan. All right, now because... I'm Claudia, oh my God. Because you two are so close, I mean, you could do with a fringe cover that forehead. Oh! So, um, Whoa! So, because I know, because, sorry, the shot's fired. Um, because I know you two are so close and I feel like you're just doing so fuck me. What I need you to do now is you're going to text me what you've told him so that I can check so that you can't whatever I guess. Yeah? And then that way. So just text, I'm not going to look at it. It's there. Yeah, well, that's just, yeah. No, no, it's there. Look, it's turned it around.

22:46Okay. Mate, it's not that important that I'm going to cheat. done done okay ready okay so Sam are you a faithful or traitor you don't even let me say anything this is so good ready I'm faithful are you Pete I promise you okay I promise you I'm faithful so we've been friends for eight years yeah alright have you ever lied to me in that time yeah probably but like about what I don't know specifically but like no never lied to you well which one you said probably and now you're saying you haven't I'm a faithful I'm looking you dead in the eye Don't worry about that for the minute I'm a faithful Have you lied to me in the past 10 years?

23:23No never in my life Okay so you're lying to me now No How much does this show mean to you? It means a lot How much does it mean to you to prove me wrong? Well I just I want to be right Okay I'm a faithful You're a faithful yeah? I'm a faithful Yeah? Pete Why are you smiling so much? Because I can't not smile When I'm looking you in the fucking eyes But you're smiling at me because You're telling me the truth No I promise you I'm telling the truth Or you're smiling because now you're double bluffing No but now I'm panicking because you're now making me panic. But why are you panicking? Because you're asking so many questions.

23:49But that's the name of the game. What do you want me to do? Just look at you. All right. Sorry. It's a bit of a bad role play if I go, what are you up to tonight? Obviously, I'm trying to figure out whether you're a faithful or a trained boy. Okay. All right. Why are you shocked at being a faithful? I don't know. Everyone will be listening to this. All right. And you go on about me being your best mate and how you never fucked me over and all the rest of it. So you need to tell me the truth because if you don't, what you've done, what you've done is you've broken any trust that we'll ever have going forward.

24:22And I mean that because at this point, this could be a really good way of me and you showing everyone that we're best mates because you told me the truth. And if it's not, this whole thing and this whole business is a lie. I'm a faithful. You're a faithful, aren't you? I'm a faithful. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. You swear on my life. Oh, that's dicey. You can't start asking people to swear on lives. Only mine. Yes. All right, okay. So you're a faithful. I'm a faithful. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, same as a traitor. Take your phone.

24:57Oh, he's faithful! I'm a faithful! I'm a faithful, man! I thought you were going to get that. I thought we were on the same fucking wavelength. No, I thought you were lying. You do me, you do me. You go to Pippa, go to Pippa. Go to Pippa. Yeah, yeah, all right. You want to do the same thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Close my eyes and the tremors.

25:19Nice. Do you trust that I wouldn't cheat? I trust that you wouldn't cheat. Oh, she got texted. Do you want to text him anyway so you can reveal it? Okay. Keep your phone down. Okay. So my knowledge of the game is that anyone that's a traitor denies that they're a traitor. Yeah, but I'm asking you as your best friend. It doesn't matter. It's a game. So all I'm saying is, regardless of that, even if I was a traitor, I would tell you I was a faithful. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. So no one's going to go, yes, I'm a traitor, because then that takes me out of the game. So I am a faithful. There is no way that I would say I'm a traitor.

25:51But now it comes down to whether or not you trust me as a person. And if you do trust me as a person and you do believe that we are best mates genuinely, you'll know that I'm not lying to you. Okay. Two things. It's a very good speech. That was number one. Number two. Two more things. Number two is if you tell me that you're a traitor, I won't tell anyone just don't fucking kill me okay because we've established I'm a faithful I get that but like just I don't I want to do this whole experience with you this entire experience with you I'll be gutted if you leave if you tell me if you tell me you're a traitor just do it like give me a double blink like that right just in case anyone's here in the corridor and they can fucking see like just let me know what you are and I'll just turn the other cheek.

26:46Okay, nice. Okay, good. So I would much rather do this without you. Oh, oh. Obviously, for obvious reasons, because I think you've got a big mouth and you love a gossip. So that's why I'm more than happy just to outspokenly tell you I'm a faithful because you will go and tell everyone I'm a faithful, which is the truth. You know what I mean? I can't have people thinking I'm a traitor, obviously. But are you a traitor? No, I'm a faithful. Are you sure? Because I'll believe you. and if I believe you and you kill me, that's really upsetting to me. Anyone that is a traitor is going to say faithful.

27:20You can tell me. So, for example. I'd tell you if I was a traitor. I know, we just did that. And I'm surprised actually because I thought you two were going to try and fuck me here. But I'm very pleased that you told me. But I'm also telling you that I'm a faithful. All right. But that is not because of the game. That's because either way I would say it. So it's down to you whether or not you think I would fuck you. or whether you think I'm actually your best mate. So they're your two options, because even the way I'm saying this, and that's why I'm not going to convince you. I don't need to convince you, because after eight years.

27:55So also, think about it. Pete's faithful. Check your phone. I knew it! I knew you were faithful! I knew you were faithful! Do you know what's funny, though? You could have been a traitor, because you would have said the same shit, I think. The reason that I went, I think he's a faithful, right, is because he was like, I, like, you've got to trust me as your best mate. And at some point in this entire experience, when me and Pete do the Traitor Series 3, at some point we're going to have to just have that level of communication as best friends. I think you've really proven yourself. Well, I mean, listen, you...

28:31If I was a traitor, I'd tell you, by the way. I'm just saying it now. I would actually tell you. I absolutely wouldn't. I know you wouldn't, but I would tell you. I would be like, listen, man. Do you know what? If it got to a point, I wouldn't initially, if it got to a point where it was, I felt like you were going to be leaving or people would turn on you, I would make them think I was a traitor. So I left and you stayed. I would rather you, it would mean more to you to do well than it would me. So I would not tell you initially because I don't trust you not to fuck it. But if it meant that you were under fire and you told me that you were faithful or a traitor, I would want you to, so I would, I would make people vote me out.

29:15Pete, that's beautiful. Can I just say one more thing? If we were around the round table and I'm getting hammered by people, right? And I look to you for like, just, you don't let, at this point, you have no idea whether I'm a faithful or traitor, right? And everyone's coming at me, right? And I turn to you, my best boy, and I go, Pete, what are you doing? There's like 12 of them. Yeah. What are you doing at that point? I think there's three angles and three points that I think would convince everyone that you're a faithful. First one I'd say I've known him eight years. He's too thick to be a traitor.

29:45No, I wouldn't. I'd take it. I'd be like, yes, yeah, I am. No, no, no. I'd say, look, obviously everyone's going to expect Sam to be a faithful because he's like the fucking UK's nicest guy. You know what I mean? But he hasn't got it in him full stop to be a traitor because the boy is too genuine, kind-hearted and authentic to actually lie to any of you. he would have fucking given up and you'd have found out the only reason you're doing that is because someone has convinced you so they're picking on the guy that everyone think is potentially the weakest and he's not if you stick with him he'll be the strongest person you could ever have so it's up to you i however am shady as fuck and i'm i could be lying but then the problem with that is they'd be like that was a legit statement sam now seems like more of a snake because he's got pete to say that beautiful speech for him and i would much rather him leave but unfortunately um mate we've got to do traitors man good game enjoyed that a lot season three bbc if you fancy it we we look we'll have to speak to our agents we'll just send them this they could just put this out and well yeah you know listen this is the bonus ep as well um so after this we normally have lunch so everyone knows what we're we're playing as an office at lunchtime oh my god we can josh is so a traitor and we've not even yeah josh is such a traitor You're just a bit of a prick.

30:58You're a traitor. You're like everything you need in a traitor. You are because you're quiet. Your eyes are a bit beady. Like you're just. Your eyes. Yeah. Like I agree with Sam. It's not that they're beady. They're too close together. You're quite sly. You're quite sly and shady looking. Yeah. And your just whole demeanor is quite untrustworthy. Yeah. I don't know if I don't know if I just. I don't trust me. I think you're cleverer than you're quiet. You're quite. You're obviously put on that you're clever, but you're quiet. I don't think I've ever played it stupid though. Yeah, no, you haven't.

31:29You're quietly clever. And that would, as a traitor, I'd be like. You're not obviously clever. But you're like, but Josh, the kind of guy who observes, he's an observer. Oh yeah, I do watch. Yeah, he's an observer. Yeah, I watch. And so it's like, what's he observing behind those being a little lie?

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34:11Okay, lovely. Next one. What's worse, a mosquito or a wasp? It's a brilliant question. Wasp. No, mosquito, sorry. Yeah, mosquito, 100 % for me. Yeah, yeah. I like a wasp, man. Well, I don't like a wasp. They don't do anything. They're harmless. They're not harmless. They don't do anything for you. They don't do anything like, they don't pollinate, like, they're not really like. Yeah, but neither does a mosquito. But I like a wasp based on the fact that you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. Right, they build nests. They build nests in your gaff. Yeah, but they leave in your gaff, yeah.

34:41So if I was a house, I'd prefer a mosquito. But I'm not. But they go and do that and they're just building a little thing. They don't actively seek out my blood. Yeah, see, I hate mosquitoes. A mosquito actively seeks out biting me. And giving me merit. Whereas a wasp, it's just like, stay away from me and I'll stay away from you, bruv. A mosquito will literally be like, this little prick here, I'm going to give him a disease. And as we know, I mean, evidently, I don't deal well with mosquitoes. No, exactly. Oh, yeah, you have reactions to them. I have quite heavy reactions to the little ****.

35:15So for me, really, really easy. Right, this one will be interesting. And I feel like if you could try and keep this short and sweet, Sam. Okay. If you had to rename Rodney, Albus and Cedric, what would you name them? So what would you rename Albus and Cedric? Cedric, Cedric, Cedricson. That's not renaming. It's one of the names you already call him. Yeah, but I just, I call him that anyway. Okay, that's fine. Cedric would be called Bunny. And Albert's called Bean. Bunny and Bean. Bunny and Bean, yeah. Yeah. Bunny and Bean. Cedric's got little thumper legs. Bean, he's just a tiny little bait bean because he's so ginger.

35:52Nice. Okay. A little bait bean. All right, all right, nice. What would Rodney be? Dave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's either Rodney, Dave, Derek, maybe. Well, do you know why it would be Dave? No. Fools and Horses is where his name is originally from. So Rodney, trigger in Only Fools and Horses, has always called Rodney Dave. Boom. Writes itself. All right, Dave. Dave, come here. He would so respond to that too. What, Dave? Yeah. To be honest, he responds to shit. Yeah. Just anything he responds to. Dave, stop licking me. But yeah. Right. The last one is an aesthetic one because, you know, we've spoken about the kind of your glow up and that over, um, over the past couple of years.

36:35And then recently you, you've, we've, you know, gone with a mini glow up ready for kind of winter because you sort of noticed that you let yourself go a little bit again. Um, you've been, I don't know if we've spoken about it on the pod, but you recently opened up to me about that. Um, do you think, cause there are calls now for you to get a matching mustache. Have I inspired you? Oh, I couldn't do it. I don't have the hair for it on my face. I've tried it before. I look... You literally have... It's just shaving your beard and even what you've got. No, but it's not thick enough. I've got like a thin moustache that goes around my lip.

37:15Oh, you mean it's not got the... It's not bushy enough. It's not got the girth. Yeah, it just looks like a bit of a weak moustache. The thing is, the gap between your nose and lip is not as big as mine, which means that there's not enough hair. Also there. So it would be, I see what you mean. It would be a little bit like Gomez from the Addams Family. Exactly. It's a little bit thin and it's also a little bit light. And the last question, is there going to be new merch for Christmas? So all I'm, at this point, and as always, when we're teasing things, shush. Right, I'm just going to say it. No, no, no.

37:50All I'm going to say is, ah. So, all right. And now just leave it there. So, is there going to be new merch for Christmas? We've just dropped caps, the slightly little cap, which I think seem to be doing well, but continue to buy them. The water bottles you don't seem to like, which is weird because I see every cunt holding a water bottle, so we thought we'd do well there. I've thought out a lot of fucking money and I've got a lot of stock of that. So actually don't worry about new merch, buy them, alright? Because they're technically new, they're the newest thing we've got. How much water capacity do they hold?

38:19Eh? How much water capacity do they hold? About that much. About a litre? They old enough, alright? Less than they old. Oh, that's not great. Yeah, but it's not a fucking symbol. They're old enough for a drink of fucking water. For a glass of water. All right? You know what I mean? Carry out a glass of water for you for emergency. You're not a fucking camel. You can refill the fucking thing. That's the whole point. So buy them, all right? Buy them for Christmas. Great Christmas present, all right? You know, when I was growing up, one thing I always used to say to my mum, I'll tell you what I want for Christmas, a water bowl.

38:49Yeah, true. And I just never had a good one. And actually, they're fucking good. They made good stuff, all right? We didn't go with the cheap ones, all right? They're fucking good. All right. Got the logo on. You'll be able to recognise yourselves because it's branded with staying relevant. So if you are out in the wild and you see another water bottle staying relevant, you can make friends. All right. There's lots of benefits to them other than carrying your water. And we can guarantee it'll last a lifetime. All right. Or your money back. It is staying in steel. It is staying in steel. It's staying in steel.

39:17Look at that. But listen, we thought that and I'm holding a lot of stock here. So if you can do that. And also, you know, we are leading up to Christmas. no one needs to lose their job before Christmas and this was Anna Lucy's idea. So, you know, if you don't want her to be sort of single and jobless at Christmas, then I suggest what you do is buy them. All right? So that's what I'm going to say about the merch. But that doesn't mean we're not doing anything for Christmas. We are potentially, and, you know, Sam, don't say anything here. I'm not, I'm not, my lips are sealed. And when I say potentially, I mean, we are doing something very big that we've never done before for Christmas.

39:54It is something very outside the box. It is something that is a pipe dream and a genuine dream for people that we're doing it with. And it's also something very exciting and unexpected that you wouldn't expect me to be on board with, but actually I'm very proud of. Something that I've always wanted to do. Something Sam's always wanted to do. And there'll be, you know, it's not just Sam and I. there's some other elements to it, but you'll be hearing more about that soon. And have we started the progress on that? Yes, we have. Is there a lot to do? Yes. Is it likely to fall on its arse? Yes. Quite possibly.

40:35But are we going to put everything into it? Yes. Is it going to make you feel good at Christmas? Yes. Maybe. Yes. Sorry, of course it will. Yeah. Okay. Nice. 100%. Guys, thank you so much for listening. That was one hell of a tease from Pete there. Just keep your eyes peeled. Tease me, tease me. Come on and tease me now. Maybe that's a tease. Thank you for listening to Staying Relevant, the podcast with me, Sam Thompson, and Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph, Wicks, the feature in this podcast. Email hello at srproductions.co.uk. Subscribe and follow so you're the first to know of each episode. Rate five stars, leave a review, follow us on all socials at Staying Relevant Podcast.

41:14Subscribe to our YouTube channel, please. Is it doing good, Josh? It's doing well, and I think it's going to get even better. Nice. Another tease there. Another little tease. Tease me, tease me. Come on and tease me now. Ta-da. See you later. We love you. This has been a Staying Relevant production.

41:38During Lowe's Pro Savings Days, my Lowe's Pro Rewards members can save up to 20 % when they buy more job site materials. Save 20 % when you buy 30 or more select bats and rolls or fibreglass insulation. 24 more cartons or pails of joint compound, tape, and bead. Or when you spend$200 or more on 3M painting and job site essentials. Members get more at Lowe's. Valid through 925. While supplies last. Selection varies by location. Program subject to terms and conditions. CeeLowe's.com slash terms for details. Subject to change. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather.

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43:19Hello Relevanters! We wanted to let you know that you can hear exclusive bonus episodes of Staying Relevant every month on Amazon Music. We are going to be playing Snog Marry Avoid, one of our favourite games, all with fictional characters. So prepare yourself for Sam to snog Woody from Toy Story and for me to marry Pocahontas. And possibly the genie from Aladdin. We don't know yet. We were sort of like undecided on that one. That's an avoid for me, that one, Jeannie. I don't know. I quite like it. Listen to monthly bonus episodes exclusively on Amazon Music and enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music for all episodes of Staying Relevant with your Prime membership.