[REPLAY] "You have to go hard or go home" | Anu Obe, To All My Black Girls

0:00It started when I was eight years old. Got called all sorts of swear words and monkey. I'm listening to your story and I'm like, my heart is sinking. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears. And you're here pissing yourself, laughing. I have to move forward. Part of my reality, but it's not part of my identity. Situation that fuelled me. I want to be the best version of myself. You can't be half-hearted about it. As an entrepreneur, what I've learned over the years is you need to go hard or go home. The risks you're taking need to be calculated and where you are in that moment in time. The biggest thing that entrepreneurship will give you is wisdom.

0:32The more you have gained wisdom through trial and error, the more successful you're going to be. The key to success is what you know and who you know. Most people can't handle pain. Three months is shaky. Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm going to be a stripper next month. I need to find ways to make money. It's a lie. They are selling dreams about freedom. And you make your own schedule and you'll be a millionaire three years. Wrong. Picture this. you're in a stuffy auditorium you've just had a bite to eat for lunch so it's the mid-afternoon slump and you've heard pitch after pitch after pitch from one nervous founder to the next then all of a sudden bam Anu Obe founder of To All My Black Girls bursts onto the scene and now joins us on strategy and tragedy welcome to the show Anu all right you are such high energy I was saying before I didn't really need to buy you a coffee because you need coffee as much as I do so this is gonna get loud.

1:36Trust me. All right so we'll give the listeners some context to what I was talking about there in a sec but first of all tell us about To All My Black Girls. So my brand we specialize in natural textured hair extensions for Afro-Caribbean hair types and it all my journey started when I was eight years old. I always say this because very important to know. And my mum used to chop my hair to a level one. And I used to go to school like that. And obviously, I hated my hair. I didn't want to go. My mum always said, you look like Halle Berry. No, I didn't. You know, I didn't like my hair. And effectively, I think the journey of not understanding and not appreciating my natural hair, because I just didn't know what to do with it.

2:17And my mum didn't know what to do with it. And so many other families and black girls didn't know what to do with their hair, led us down a spiral where we just had, you know, self-hate for our natural hair. A lot of girls were relaxed, so they didn't even know what their real hair looked like. And it just got to the stage where eventually people started realizing that we need to go back to ourselves. We need to go, we need to figure out our hair. And so about seven years ago that was when I basically went back to myself and figured out my hair and started to all my black girls so that we could support people who were going through that same journey of chopping off their relaxed hair and then figuring out how to maintain their natural hair but also to have hair extensions natural hair extensions to complement that look yeah and I and you know I said this to someone the other day I said literally my brand gave me what my mum didn't give me which was hair

3:16natural hair literally so if anyone's watching the video version of this podcast then check out Annie Robyn, her hair, you look amazing I love the whole look, the whole outfit and you know I wanted you on this show for many many reasons like your energy your profile, what you're doing but re-listening to you talk about your business has reminded me of how emotional it makes me feel and that same level of emotion even in that short pitch that again we'll talk about in a sec it makes me feel kind of wobbly I could feel myself tearing up no jeb because it's on the surface of it it's something that seems that could seem so superficial but it's so much more important it runs so much deeper than that so can you talk a little bit to that point how it is it isn't just hair extensions Yes.

4:07Like the deeper meaning, the importance that it has for you and your customers with your business. And okay, so that's why I literally I named my brand to All My Black Girls, because I didn't want it to be like, it was just about hair extensions. It was about black women, empowerment, empowering black women, and the journey that we go through as black women that other ethnic groups just can't relate to. so yeah like growing up with like a lot has changed in society so maybe now people can't quite understand what it was like back then but back then like I'm one of the only black people in my class or if not school got bullied a lot people big big lips that everyone is going for I used to get bullied for flat nose got called all sorts of swear words and monkey and yep n words yep so i had that was my experience growing up and then to top it off i didn't have hair people used to think i was a boy no you know what's so funny you need to put the picture on because my mum literally made me wear earrings so people knew i was a girl we'll get the picture we'll put up the picture i have a picture of my brother both of us were on a bus we have the same haircut do you know what I love so much about I mean I'm so sport for choice with the amount of stuff that I love about you Anu but I'm listening to your story and I'm like my heart is sinking I feel like I'm on the verge of tears and you're here pissing yourself laughing and you're making me laugh and it's hilarious and you find the hilarious you know jokes and the comedy side of it is that part of just your personality like you consider yourself naturally a very optimistic person absolutely always optimistic yeah interesting even the journey of business yeah you can't dwell in the exactly this is exactly what I'm kind of connecting you have to move forward yeah um and also it's uh it's a part of my reality but it's not part of my identity it's something I went through but you know I've I've overcome it and I'm I'm who I am today so um yeah I don't I don't like to let things really get to me we have to move on and we need to double click into this because it's so inspirational it's so so admirable and like I for one would definitely need some of that energy in my life as well optimism that you know energy that positive outlook is so vital in entrepreneurship so that's exactly what I'm kind of connecting to as well the resilience moving forward you know not dwelling not having that victim mindset is there anything that you can share beyond just oh I'm naturally a very optimistic person like given this shit that you've gone through given these tough times I mean I can't even imagine this is like tip of the iceberg what you've just rattled off right so have there been any specific people books tools moments in your life that have helped you to find your confidence because the theme of confidence was a big thing I wanted to get into with you today as well yeah definitely I do you know what growing up I generally have always been that person that was I don't know if it's middle child syndrome Oh you're on middle child Okay So what is it You feel like you have to It's rebellion Be louder to stand out No it's Okay so there's a part of me that I grew up in an African household We're loud That's Nigerian household They're loud and they're honest And I received that my whole life So I became that as well But then also I think Middle child There's a sense of rebellion So if they say you can't do it You do it anyway so because we are the forgotten child right right so um that's probably had an you know contributed towards my personality but i do think i've also nurtured it and i've had people that have supported me that have said no keep being yourself over the years nice where you know some people i mean i've lost a lot of friends don't get it twisted growing up i wasn't the person that I had loads of friends.

8:08People looked at me weird. She's weird, she's loud. I was the weird, unusual person. You couldn't put me in a square box. So it had its negatives as well. But I feel like I just wanted to, as I was growing up, people started embracing that. And then also I have done a lot of self-development. A lot of self-development. I'm like I'm not trying to brag but I think I'm like 15 years ahead of my time wow amazing all right well let's get into the self-development what do you mean like books therapy coaching so it all started I think my journey really started when I was 18 um and this was the time and this oh no 18 yeah 18 this was literally the point of um about to start working on to my black girls so um i remember i went through a breakup and it was horrible and it was at that point that i said i and i was thinking about the idea for like several months but i didn't materialize it but that breakup fueled me like no other wow and i just like i need to do this business i'm doing it right now and i was working on it every day and i was at uni at the time this is what i was just about to ask 18 i was wondering if you were at uni as well Which uni, what were you studying?

9:23Just to paint the picture. So I went to, I first went to De Montford in my first year in Leicester and then I went to Roehampton in Barnes. So I had now transitioned. What were you studying? Business management. Ah, so what, you were already like, I'm into business, I want to be in a, ah. I knew that since I was a child. Ah, interesting. That I've always been into business. Nice. I used to sell sweets at school when I was eight. When I was like 10. Amazing. I think every entrepreneur used to, had a hustle when they were younger. And then I used to sell clothes on eBay when I was like 12. So I always had that in me to...

9:57I love that. Alright, so it's a rewind, 18, uni. No, it's good you've gone back because I was actually going to say, at one point, I did think I was going to be a singer. Now, one thing I failed to mention, I went to theatre school. So that might have contributed towards my personality as well. But my mum put me in there. Oh, I asked to be in there because I generally enjoyed to be music, singing, dancing, acting, like I loved all of that. That was me. So it's really, just as we hold that thought for a second, it's really interesting how the right combination of ingredients can take the same situation and go one of two very polar opposite directions.

10:37So what I mean by that is you can experience the bullying, being the odd one out, not quite fitting in, et cetera, et cetera. and you know if you're not naturally positive or got a good family environment all those other things that you mentioned it's you're on kind of a knife edge with going down the other way but obviously you've got a supportive family the middle child syndrome being an actual performer like all those things have meant that being the odd one out for you you've leveraged that as opposed to letting it kind of make you shy away further right I love the fact you said that absolutely So yeah, I told my mum that I wanted to be in theatre school and she obviously encouraged me in that direction.

11:22I thought I wanted to be a singer. So obviously I was doing all the things. Theatre school, put your kids in that because I think it encourages confidence. Even if they're not going down that direction. Just put them in uncomfortable situations because some people are really shy. Oh no, I don't want to be in front of the camera. Oh no, I don't want to be on stage. What a big deal. make your kids uncomfortable with being make your kids comfortable with being uncomfortable and then they will be confident when they grow older. As a fellow ex-theatre student we've got so much in common I've definitely come to recognise the amount of benefits that have that I've been able to apply in my professional career that aren't obvious you wouldn't obviously connect the dots so what you're talking about there with is an obvious build your confidence, go on sale, the rest of it find your voice for sure or one of the big things that really helped me, and I only came to realize this, you know, when I was properly in my career, was improvisation.

12:18Don't know how much of that you got to do at theater school, but like where you're put in, you've just got an opener, and you just have to like think on the spot how helpful that is when you're in, when you're pitching or in a sales conversation or hosting a podcast potentially, like this, and you can pick and choose kind of what you want to, you know, take forward and help kind of propel you along. but anyway so back to your story back to my story so yeah I was 18 and then I um went through the breakup I was I'm going to start this business I was thinking about it for months I eventually did it um I don't I just want to say something quite funny whilst um I'm on the topic of this breakup he was cheating on me with a girl and then me and this girl became friends and I remember chit chatting with her on the phone all day every day trying to get over my heartbreak and like I was like listen girl I'm moving on with my life I'm I'm watching like reading the secret law of attraction I'm I'm doing self-development I don't know about you and she was still like in that relationship because she was like with him longer so I was like the one that came in at a later stage.

13:33And she was like, it's been a year. I was like, it's been a few months for me or whatever. But literally the funniest part was, I was, it was that situation that fueled me in all areas of my life. Yeah. So she, I was, I was, I gained strength to move forward, but to move forward in a positive direction that would impact, positively impact my life. Yeah. So then I was just like, I want to be the best version of myself. So that's when I started reading The Secret. It all started with The Secret, by the way. Okay. That book, I bought the book, I read the book, I watched the movie. Now I've watched it more than a thousand times.

14:05Wow. Literally, I have it in the background sometimes when I'm working. Wow, interesting. And then it kind of transferred into just knowing more, listening to all the different people on The Secret. So Abraham Hicks, I used to binge watch her. There are different mentors and gurus and spiritual people that were from that show. And it just changed my mindset completely. Wow. And at 18 as well, like such a kind of ripe age for that too, where like you're coming into adulthood. Yeah. You're not, you know, you haven't got all these like fixed, you know, forms of thinking. You're there, you're kind of getting revved up.

14:42Absolutely. Shaping your mind. I love it, I love it. And then it was when, and then while I was doing that, I was working on the business. Right. So I was doing that, I think it was, and I'll imagine I even left my uni staff. I was like, don't care about uni, I need to do this. I was so into working on this business that it consumed me, but in a good way. I loved it, I enjoyed it. Passion, just the passion. And then all the while I was growing with myself. I was reading books as well. I was really indulged in just making my reality, making my life better and making my life the reality that I want.

15:18Yeah, master of your own destiny. Yeah. Just while we're on that, saying all these books top three books that have impacted you so the secret can you name two others yeah I um I'm actually reading um um why have I forgotten the name of the book what does the front cover look like we can we'll get there we'll get there it's fine I'll help you in my head I want to say the 5am club but it's not the 5am club like morning routine yes it's morning it's um something along those lines yeah it's about being in the morning 8 a.m okay something morning what to do before 8 a.m right i really like that book i haven't finished it obviously that's why i can't tell you what the book's about um okay let me think what other books do you know nothing i love documentaries yeah same yeah i bought i every documentary i watch like and i love all documentaries yeah except crime i don't i'm not a big fan of the crime ones right keep me up all night i love educating myself are there any business documentaries that you've that you've really kind of i love watching successful people yeah in all facets yeah i did watch um the one with misguided there was one oh did you ever watch that one yeah but it was more of a series it was more of a series yeah yeah yeah that was very inspiring yeah um i the ceo comes across crazy pervy though because they like get off at the end it's really like unprofessional i thought that was gross yeah you might need to re-watch it looking at your face yeah you know exactly what i'm talking about yeah watch it to the end oh i don't remember that part yeah i don't know it doesn't come off well in my opinion anyway yeah kind of gross but anyway um yeah anyway um i oh the power is another book which is by ronda burn oh yeah i've not read that one so it's the same author oh okay yeah yeah i've listened i've what i've read that because i are you so i'm saying listening because i do audible yeah yeah nice so um i've listened to that one a lot as well cool um also i would say i'm just trying to think now yeah those are my three the 8am one these handful that you've suggested that you've recommended here what comes to mind for me is did you say Rhonda Barnes is the name of this author.

17:41So like - Burn, sorry. Like these authors, people in these documentaries, do you think that there's kind of a lack of like black role models as well? Because like a lot of these, I think like they sound like they're kind of all, they're white people. So like, is that something that you pick up on? Is it some, do you have other kind of people you look up to? There was one black lady, Lisa Nichols on that book and the series as well. Yeah. I don't necessarily look at race I just look at wisdom so for me it's a source of wisdom I don't care what colour they are and I mean lately I've been reading the Bible because I'm a Christian now well I was a Christian before but I've renewed my faith in Christ so I've been reading the Bible lately and the Bible has a lot of wisdom the Bible has a lot of wisdom quick one this is Future Steph coming to you from beyond if you're enjoying this episode then you can probably guess what I want you to do.

18:41Please do me one tiny favor that costs you nothing and takes a second of your time. Hit that subscribe button. It really helps to support this show. And I'm really grateful for you listening. Let's get back into it. We had Andy A.M. on the show as well, the founder of Angel Investing School, and we got into spirituality and had a really interesting chat about that. And he was talking about the Bible and he had said about kind of the acronym, let me see if I can remember it. I think it was like basic instruction. Oh my God, you're gonna have to help me out here. Basic instructions for, it spells out Bible.

19:17For like best life, something along those kind of lines. But yeah, it's essentially what you're saying. It's like the manual to live a good life. Yeah, the manual for life. Yeah, it's a life manual. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely, there's a lot of words of wisdom there. What renewed your faith? I feel like we're fast forwarding now. Like we've gone past the start. We'll get back to it, don't worry. We've gone forward. I'm keeping track. But yeah, no. So it was just, I just feel like I, yeah, I needed to, like I was down the spiritual route since I was 18 till like last year. Right. And I feel like it gets you to only a certain level, but there's another level that I'm trying to tap into.

20:03And I really want to connect deeper with God and have God on my right shoulder like this, that I can see and I can talk and I can feel and I can know is there. And unfortunately, spirituality just just won't give you that. It will give you a lot of good things. It will give you a level of peace. I did learn a lot. It has shaped me to who I am today. But I just know that now my journey into Christianity is going to give me another level, which I am so eager to experience. Amazing. I'm so excited for you I love this thank you all right so let's rewind then so you're at uni you became friends with your ex-boyfriends I love her build your business how did you get it like while we're kind of in those earlier sort of days how did you get it like off the ground how did you find your first customers like your first paying customers how did you find them so all I really did honestly was create an instagram page post um my logo and like one or two products on instagram i think it was just instagram and like just set up the website all i did was make sure everything was in place so do my website do my logo branding bought stock um and then and i made my own website by the way so kudos to me yeah well done i know well done amazing and you're saying you bought your own stocks and what you bought the product up front yes up front before you had the customers before i had the customers so how did you know how much to buy what styles if you didn't so um really it was just all guesstimate i when i was planning this business so i i always say i don't know if i've said this a lot but i did i had a friend so this is why i feel like the maybe the secret the law of attraction god whatever you know you want to call it spiritual power was aligned with me because everything went so smoothly like my friend I met someone went to transition into Roehampton University within three months I'd met this guy and I said to him I want to start this business I need money and he gave me like two and a half grand to put into the business and I was like I'll pay you back don't worry like as soon as I make money I'll pay you back but I just wrote him like on a piece of paper I was like okay I'm gonna buy four stocks of this and it's gonna cost this much and this is how much profit we're gonna make and i just it was just one piece of paper and i just put down everything that i was gonna get from the sale do you know why i love this before i didn't start the business do you know i love this so so so much anyone who knows me they're sick of hearing me say one of my favorite sayings is complexity is the enemy to execution because i'm so action driven i love making stuff happen so like faff and complications getting in the way of that just like angers and frustrates me on like another level which obviously makes sense from being in like startup land um but to your point here on this fantastic story is like this is another example of like how over complicated we can make things it can just be you know we laugh about it but it can't take out a piece of paper the amount of times i've done this with founders as well right to be like right i'm just coming in how much you expect the cost profit blah blah blah yeah like just at least to begin with because i think if you over complicate like a business plan and like 10 page doc it's like just till you get started yeah i'm not super like yeah exactly a business plan is is great until you know you go out into the real world and you get punched in the face like a thousand percent so i love that you did that and you answered a next question i was going to ask you anyway which was obviously as a student getting started was obviously the financing so you already answered that which is amazing my student loan as well wow so he gave me two and a half i had two and a half from my student and that's the money I put together to start.

23:42And so most of that was to buy the stock because I imagine the website and everything's not that expensive anyway. I mean, I remember like, I spent like£250 on a logo or something and I was like, oh my God,£250. This is a lot of money. Like I was trying to haggle with the girl. Like what is this£250 I'm spending on a logo? But guess what? That was the best investment I could have made. She made my branding for me. I won't tell you how much fucking Ogilvy charges to do branding. if you're like jaws on the floor for 250 pounds then uh well i'll let you so most but you know what's so funny before i say that i've initially i didn't want to spend that money so i paid somebody else like 50 quid like on one of these freelance websites and it was rubbish interesting and i was like oh no now i have to spend the money on this girl that i really wanted to use i love so much and then it's funny because she really she it was beyond a logo it was brand she did my packaging as well so then she gave me ideas on the color scheme I didn't even have a color scheme then I just knew I wanted a purple and then she came with pink and gray and this and I was like oh I've got branding now and it was just perfect to the teeth she hit the nail exactly what I wanted that's a really important message to share I'm so glad that you kind of shared that that extra tidbit because again it's the saying buy cheap buy twice absolutely so the fact you kind of went through it I hear that story over and over again usually on the tech side of things because like the tech development for you know kind of like a proper tech startup or scale up that often requires quite a lot of venture capital investment just in like the product development and the amount of founders who are again like it's a lot of money if they've got external investors they've got them breathing down their necks so they're lured by the promise of outsourcing it to an offshore you know development agency in the philippines or india or wherever, a fraction of the cost, but the nightmares that have come with the night, those have been some of the worst nightmare stories I've ever, ever heard.

25:39So glad you were nowhere near, but you still had that experience of buy cheap, buy twice. So I think it's an important message to share. So sometimes it pays to pay a little bit extra, get it done right. So. Even now I've had obviously loads of experience of that over the years, but honestly, it's a very low success rate. I think pay right. and actually, yes, it feels a bit nerve-wracking. I'm spending this money, but spend it, get alone, do what you need to do. Because if you believe in that passion, you can't be half-hearted about it. And as an entrepreneur, what I've learned over the years is you need to go hard or go home.

26:16And even if you go hard and lose it all, it's a lesson. And it shapes you to who you are today. And every year you become stronger and you become a better person in your industry. and wisdom is invaluable it's invaluable so you have to be willing to whisk it all this is a very risky industry you can't play it safe there's a lot of competition if you want to be successful you have to do things that people are not doing and it might cost you your life but is it worth doing it if it's not going to cost you that much no and have you spent all this time and you've wasted all this time and effort and then you're just going to be mediocre and then probably not see the results you want to see yeah so yeah amen amen I love that I'm with I'm with you and I'm loving it and I'm loving the energy absolutely what crosses my mind is the level of you know there are certain privileges for some people to I guess have that risk appetite so either you know you were just saying something there around like if it costs I'm totally with you like you need to go beyond you need to go that extra mile like all the rest of it but the reality is for some people it is just a little bit too scary it is I think when it's I don't I don't know like I don't know how much of it is in your mind the fear you know the you got to have that risk appetite to get the huge upside potentially but if you've got people who don't have a safety net that don't have family that may be feeling the pressure of mortgage rising or the rest of it like kids like that's exactly where I'm going yeah exactly I think I think I can agree that if you maybe because I'm a single young person you know no responsibilities I've got responsibilities but not not real ones not life threatening responsibilities you know like I'll be fine I still can go back to my mum's house and if I need you know so maybe I have that more of an appetite for risk um and obviously if you've got mortgage kids and real real responsibilities then maybe don't be as risky as I am because your kids might actually be homeless and that might be a problem for you it is something I don't have the answer and I'm genuinely you know I want to get as many perspectives and conversations on this topic because I have met like people who do have a mortgage and kids and all right and they've got that exact same risk appetite they've still got that yeah you got to go for it you got to and there's almost like there's there's almost a weird contradiction within let's see if i can get this out you almost if you're gonna have that level of risk appetite and you're gonna go for it and you're gonna go to that level that most other people are just too kind of scared basically like this i wonder how is the likelihood of success therefore inherently greater anyway so it's almost like feel the fear go for it because you're already in a tiny minority so stuff is on your side but then it's i guess it's what it comes down to i reckon is the balance of being a master of your own destiny all the stuff you're talking about before which i'm totally with you on like take those chances self-development make it happen i get all of that but again it's all great until you put it into the real world and it punches you in the face bad luck can happen things can come in your way right things always happen right um but i don't think then you're not supposed to be an entrepreneur because if you can't handle the backlash that comes from it then i just don't think it's for you you need to stick to a safe job because it's i don't think there's a middle ground of entrepreneurship i think it actually has to be high risk yeah or safe yeah and i also think obviously the risk you're taking needs to be calculated and it needs to be based on where you are in that moment in time but one but the biggest thing that entrepreneurship will give you is wisdom and I think that the more you have gained wisdom through trial and error the more successful you're going to be that is true that is actually backed up by research so I can definitely agree with you on that I saw an interesting report that literally showed that with every new business um the chances of success is higher steadily increase and it goes all the way up to there's this great kind of bar chart that shows it visually and it goes up to even the 10th business all the way up to like if you've done nine or ten other businesses before the chances of success with your next venture I think it's something like 68 percent like increases the probability so like the second business is something like 10 and then 27 and then it gradually like it's like a steady increase so that makes sense that's totally true so that you know the research backs up exactly what you're saying there okay I think that ultimately it's a risky business and we know entrepreneurship is risky yeah it's most people fail so of course it's extremely risky yeah um but i think that it while if you're like you feel like me i would rather try than just accept defeat yeah yeah yeah no that does not come as a surprise you know like yes even if they tell me up front i'm gonna fail i'm still gonna do it probably want to do it even more if they tell you that right

31:33exactly it's just personality but it has it does strengthen you so much yeah resilience oh yeah i know i'm so resilient yeah nothing can break me wow i know i look at people and even when i employ people and sometimes i think they're so sensitive because i and i forget it's because I've gone through a lot. And now I'm a rock. So I'm like, what's the big deal here? And I'm like, oh, yeah, sorry, I'm just probably not on your level. Yeah, I've actually gone through a lot. Do you know what this mirrors back a little bit to the earlier days of the story of, you know, how you can either let that, you know, let the negativity grind you down, or you use it to fuel you.

32:14It's the same kind of thing here. I'm seeing the pattern with the entrepreneurship journey because you know in my experience I I've been in situations where I've kind of been once bitten twice shy type of thing and I'm like oh that was that was painful and like I still need I need to go off and like lick my wounds for a bit and to the point where I'm like I don't know if I can do it again you know I'm like that was that was shit that was painful that was horrible so um what just comes to mind on this is there's just a few people I'm seeing a lot at the moment that are encouraging like everyone to be entrepreneurs and like everyone thinking like we should all go into we should encourage entrepreneurship we should all be business that we should all you know there's this narrative around taking control of your life and being happier and all the rest of it but you know what we're talking about there with the level of risk appetite that's needed for it where what's your views on like should everyone be an entrepreneur no absolutely not yeah most people can't handle yeah exactly the struggle and um it's awesome i would never say everyone should i think we need employees and i think people should be in the areas that make them happy not everyone should start a business um i think that people feel or think or have the misconception that entrepreneurship means freedom if anything it's the opposite you're tied down even more than you're nine to five because now everything's dependent on you and it's so uncertain and being self-employed is one of the most horrible things one month it's great next month is shaky one month it's great oh three months is shaky oh i don't know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna be a stripper next month i need to find ways to make money like it is really gruesome.

34:02It is. You need to have your emotions need to you cannot be mentally unstable if you want to do entrepreneurship. You have to know how to regulate your emotions because they will take you round and round and rollercoaster and that rollercoaster can happen in that same day. That same day your emotions could have gone like this ten times because ten things have happened. So no, it's not for everyone. Not for everyone.

34:33and the thing is i always say to people i'm very qualified because i know um i've been doing this for a while and i know that personality wise i'm very qualified in this position but even i'm almost not qualified yeah i get it so imagine me saying that like i know it's like basically you you've trained to be a doctor yeah but then you're not you can't be a doctor even though you've done seven years oh no i'm i should be qualified no that's how thin the window is to entrepreneurship it's so slim it's like a 0.1 of people that can really handle it well even if they are qualified yeah so i don't agree that they should be advocating everyone can be an entrepreneur oh you get this freedom it's a lie they are selling dreams about freedom and oh you make your own schedule and you'll be a millionaire in three years wrong

35:28just be in the industry that you enjoy that's all that's what we should be promoting get in an industry that you enjoy don't start business yeah yeah oh i know i feel like i just want to like amen everything you're saying i totally get it totally resonate um you're just hilarious with it as well i love it i'm just cracking up here um unbelievably because i've got like 20 more questions i want to ask you and i feel like we're barely like getting stuck in We're running out of time. It's crazy. We just scratched. Just barely. Just not even, I think it's a bit of a tickle. Not even a scratch. Just a bit of, if you want a part two, exactly.

36:04Leave a comment. Part two. What's your favorite emoji? Do you always use an emoji? A go-to signature emoji? Hearts, pink, purple heart. Purple heart. Leave a purple heart. If you want a part two. I would definitely be up for it. I'd be up for it. Or crying face.

36:26no this is not coming to an end we're just getting started stephanie what is going on i know insane insane i just want to make you a permanent co-host with me we just should we i would love that i'd totally be down for that all right final question i'm glad because i wanted to get into your business and like all the rest of it what i think is important sorry just because this is a business podcast is we were starting to talk about to all my black girls the way you got started just because this is helpful advice for other people you started out organically on instagram that's how you got your first customer so just wanted to make sure we were kind of covered that bit um but i think what's important there is without you spending loads on marketing advertising do all this other stuff what i'm very quickly taking away is there was you pinpointed a specific need a specific problem that needed solving in the market obviously i got to hear your amazing pitch at that demo day which we didn't get a chance to talk about either so i know all the numbers the gap in the market so i think the key takeaway for listeners on that is you know is there actually a need is there a customer problem that you're putting front and center they're actually solving for people and it just makes it easier and cheaper when you come to do the advertising because you're not having to like ram it down people's throats so much so i just wanted to do a very very quick sort of summary on on that one because we can get to talk about properly final question traditional closing question on this podcast it's called strategy and tragedy for a reason because as you quite rightly say being an entrepreneur is not for everyone and it's fucking tough a lot of the time so what is one big mistake or one you know tragedy so to speak that's taught you a lesson that you'll never forget one one one just one um okay i think the one would probably be

38:21Sport for choice. This is hilarious. I want to say mentorship. Okay. Not getting someone wanted to invest in my business when I was like one year in but they wanted to be like an advisor on the advisory board. They believed in me. Probably wasn't I wasn't even doing numbers then. They met me and they were like I like you. They even sent me a contract. They just wanted 5 % of my business. I went to a friend to get expertise. He was like, no, don't do it, don't do it. But he didn't care about the country. You just said, don't give away your business. He was a white man. He was fairly middle-aged, probably had a lot more experience than I did.

38:56And I kind of wish I considered it now. And the reason why I say that is because the key to success is what you know and who you know. You don't even have to be that great at what you do. You just need to have the right information. And had I had gone and seeked that mentor, it could have changed where I am today and I would have considered it because everyone needs a mentor and you definitely need one in business so sorry it could have fastened me maybe 10 years ahead of time if I had had the support from potentially that man that I declined oh okay so that's just what I wanted to clarify so you declined this 5 % yeah because you had someone else kind of be like in your back yeah okay so it's more of a because you didn't go for it so it's more of a regret what could it have been yeah well yeah what could have been yeah but even so i think i still was off the mindset of never give away right any percent yeah like you can do this by yourself yeah you don't need anyone but actually was a completely wrong mindset yeah yeah you need people and you need people who have more experience than you yeah they will get you way further than you can get than yourself on your own and success is about what you know yeah and who you know i'm just saying after saying with this it's like that quote again that comes to mind with you know if you want to go fast go alone if you want to go far go with others so on that note I'm afraid we're gonna have to wrap it up there it's unbelievable I wish we could talk hours and hours much much more and thank you so much for coming on the show you've been amazing you've been everything I expected and more so you've been wonderful and thank you so much for listening I really hope that you've enjoyed this episode it's been a fun jam-packed one hit that subscribe button if you haven't already tune in to next week's episode episodes are weekly and we have more great guests and more great tips to help you with your business journey thanks a lot