Open Session #1 - The Positive Impact of Change

0:04Hi, what's going on everyone? Welcome back. Today we've got another open session dialogue. a little brain dump going on. I have some notes here of some things that I want to talk about kind of just based on one topic in particular but about three months ago or so I started a retainer client and I know before a lot of you sort of like go into a head spin about me doing a retainer. I think that that is sort of why I want to make a video is because I feel like prior I feel like a few months ago I really had a sort of internal dialogue and questioning of who I identify as like what is it that I am what is it that I bring to the table as a filmmaker as an artist, as a DP.

1:02And I think for a long time, up until maybe a few months ago, I think my ego was literally just being a DP. And I think I talked about this a little bit last time, but my ego was really just in the fact that I was a DP and going back to retainer clients, for example, I think in my mind made me feel like I was going backwards in my career, in my craft, because when I first started in filmmaking, when I had my production company, production company, my main business model was retainer clients. It was, you know, small business videos, construction companies, pizzerias, you know, you name it. I kind of did it for a while.

1:47That was my business model, was retainer clients. I did that for a little while and I got burnt out from it. I realized that part of the reason I was getting burnt out was, in hindsight, part of the reason I was getting burnt out was because I was doing stuff for companies and things that I maybe didn't really enjoy too much, I didn't love, I didn't have a passion for, and that my business model was retainers. So I was solely reliant on it, if that makes any sense at all. So fast forward to now, my main business, my main income, everything I do really comes down to my work as a DP. And when I started thinking about this retainer idea, especially with this client, with the gym that I'm doing this retainer for, I had to ask myself do I want to go down this road again and I think what I realized was that I'm going into it with a different mindset than I did a couple years ago for starters this retainer is not my main business it's not my main source of income it's not something I rely on to feed myself put food on the table pay my mortgage whatever that's what my DP career is for so I think that in and of itself is creating a bit of a difference in the mindset that I have so something I wrote here too which I think is important to kind of to bridge a little bit as a DP the majority of the time the projects that you work on are not yours you don't own them you're usually working for a production company a director you know you You are in service of a story, in service of a director, in service of their vision.

3:38And that's amazing as a DP. That's part of what I love about this job. But at the same time, you don't have that much ownership of it. In conjunction with that, majority of the time, unless you're at a pretty decent level as a DP, you're doing work that you aren't also really stoked about either. Maybe you're not doing work that is really exciting to you or a style perhaps that you want to try or you want to do because you're sort of serving someone else's vision. So as a DP, you're sort of kind of bouncing around this world of always serving other people while trying to input your creative voice in all these different places.

4:21And what I realized was that I'm not looking to build retainers as a business. But what I am looking for is a client that trusts me as a filmmaker, as a DP, as someone that can deliver what they want, but at the creative level and scale and style and look that I want. And I found that with this client, with the gym that I go to every other day, pretty much. It's a gym that I actually really enjoy going to. It's a gym that my wife works at. I've built a really great relationship with a lot of the people within that community in the gym, the owner. I love the aesthetic of the gym. And when the owner and I were talking about what this might look like, this new relationship, you know, this new venture, if I decide to agree to this retainer, because at the end of the day, it wasn't, you know, me necessarily asking him that I want to do this.

5:24it was sort of a mutual discussion about if I was willing to do it or if I was interested in doing it. And my initial reaction was not really. But then again, I started thinking about it more. And I realized that it isn't necessarily going backwards as I once thought. It's how can I look at this as an opportunity to stretch myself as a filmmaker, as a creative, in an environment that I feel really excited about, I feel passionate about, that I can explore new ideas, I could explore creative styles, that I can, that I could just be in an environment of fitness that I truly love. Like a passion of mine is fitness and weightlifting and, you know, high rocks training and running and all those things.

6:08And being able to consistently shoot that every month is something I'm excited for and to continue to develop my, my style and the way that I shoot those things. I think I'm really excited about. It's been about three months since I started doing that and I can honestly say that I'm super glad that I did do it And I'm and I'm currently doing it the stuff that I've created so far with them has been pretty awesome between photo and video I'm actually really stoked on the stuff that we created even at the small scale of just like me shooting I don't have a crew. I don't have a huge thing It's just me and a couple lights and it really brings me to the essence of why I started filmmaking and like the fun of it and And the technical side of it that allows me to work on my fundamentals of cinematography and filmmaking in an environment that doesn't have all these resources and all of these things to make things look good.

7:00It's solely reliant on my ability to make things look good in a confined and restraint environment, if that makes sense. So the next point is when I decided that I think I want to pursue this, I felt like it was only right to create a sort of pitch deck to the owner to show him visually what was inside my head. Because I could talk about what I'm thinking all day long, but until you kind of show someone what you're actually thinking in a visual form, it's hard to actually grasp it. And when it comes to the pitch and being able to actually say the price that you want per month for your services, I think it is important to also add in what you're going to deliver.

7:44It's just, you know, natural. You should do that. You have to do that. I think it's important. And I did. I did do that. And after creating the document, the pitch deck, and looking through the images that inspire me, the videos that inspire me about fitness and the things that I like, I think it got me really excited about the potential of what I actually could create within this environment and within this world. And, you know, once I talked to the owner about it, he saw the deck, we communicated back and forth. You know, he loved what I presented with him and he fully trusted how I want to do things no matter what.

8:16As long as we were an ingredient on the message that we were trying to deliver on that certain shoot or whatever, whether it's, you know, for weightlifting or it's for a different class, it's for whatever it is, whatever the message is. You know, as long as it's geared into that direction, but visually and stylistically, he trusted me to create it, light it, shoot it however I want. And that's all I could really ask for in a relationship like this. And because it's not my main business, not my main thing, I don't need to rely on getting the quantity of retainers. I'd rather just focus on the one retainer that I have to do amazing and good work and enjoy it.

8:54And then allow my career to be focused on the DP side of things, which I'm really passionate about. So I think that difference has sort of helped me wrap my head around this whole feeling like I'm going backwards type of thing Which I don't think I am anymore. I don't think I'm going backwards for saying yes to a retainer So the last thing I want to talk about is the money side of things And even though I'm not going to talk about the actual number that I make per month with them on a retainer I will say again that it is not It is not my main source of income. It's not how I feed ourselves. It's not how I pay my mortgage but as a freelancer I've noticed that I naturally lean towards stability I lean towards reliability and I think humans do in general and as a sole freelancer it is hard to find that sustainability and reliability in income it's nearly impossible so even though I have this one retainer that doesn't necessarily cover everything.

9:55It doesn't, it's not my main income. It provides a small level of comfort and peace and sustainability and reliability in my life that I once didn't have a couple months ago that just helps me feel a little bit better per month. Like if I get nothing per month as a DP, as a freelancer, I know that I have a little something coming in every month from this. And again, it's not huge. It's not anything crazy, but it's something to ease my mind a little bit. So what is the message today? I don't really know. It's just me kind of brain dumping about the fact that I've been doing this retainer business for three months now alongside my DP career podcast and some other things.

10:37And I'm excited about it. I think it's really cool. I think the work that we're doing is great. And I don't think I'm going backwards. I think that's the biggest thing. That's literally the message is don't feel like you're going backwards because you're doing something that you used to once do maybe perhaps. It may be just not retainer. Maybe it's something else that you used to do and you feel like you grew out of it and now maybe you're going back to it. Just look at it from a different perspective, from a new life, from a different mindset. And I think you'll actually look at it in a positive way and I don't know, maybe it'll benefit you in some way.

11:12That's what I believe. That's what I'm finding currently. So yeah, hopefully you enjoyed this little rant. I'm not sure if there was a message in there at all for anyone, honestly, but it feels good to let it out. It feels good to just like speak about these things. So yeah, have a great day, everyone. See you guys next time. Peace out.

11:39Bye.