Autonomic Nervous System Dysregulation? Try This for Instant Calm | Meliza Mokrani

30:37So we want to talk about like, what are the red flags when it comes to like breath work and people telling you, because there are people, I think they have good intentions. They don't have enough knowledge and experience to know that they are crossing a line and a boundary. So for somebody listening, how can they identify that and keep themselves safe? Yeah, I think, well, first of all, The relatability component is so critical, you know, within the context of any like health, whatever journey that you're on, right? Like I might be relatable to you as a nervous system, you know, health coach, right?

31:15I might not be relatable to, you know, John Doe because of my background and who I am. So that does matter, right? That matters in terms of even finding a provider, right? Like someone who's going to be able to address your health. I would probably be more likely to want to come to you given our similar backgrounds and our life stories as opposed to wanting to go to someone else, right? So relatability is important. But from the standpoint of safety, a basic certification is critical. You know, most breathwork facilitators will name what certification they've performed. Look into it. See if it's accredited.

32:02Try to understand, you know, who came up with these theories. You know, do your due diligence, right? An investor isn't going to invest in a business without getting into the data room and doing their due diligence. And you should consider that within the context of your health as an investment, right? Right. And then one thing I also see a lot of is, you know, when there's like not enough scientific evidence and too much of the woo. Don't get me wrong. I love the woo. Yeah. And we can't study everything, but I think I know what you're saying. And the fact that what I find it is the outlandish claims of like a cure-all or this is the one solution or saying that, you know, based on this one study that like, therefore, this is fact.

32:55And it's like utterly unscientific. Yes, yes. And it's like, we can respect that science is so immature. I really think people need to understand that science is in its infancy. The medicine that is practiced in the United States is in its infancy. When you look at something and you compare it to Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, like a lot of these other medicines that Western medicine has said, like has no efficacy. Now, now the research has come out. And then it's funny because then you go see a medical doctor that's like, I got a weekend certificate in acupuncture because like, you know, there's research on it.

33:31And I tell patients all the time, if your medical doctor did not like dedicate four years and like an internship residency to Chinese medicine, just because it was just like, you know, just because it says a gallbladder point doesn't mean it's affecting the gallbladder. Like as part of my training, we did have to study Chinese medicine and we had the opportunity to do a duel of like going down the route of Chinese medicine. I never thought I could do both and, and do it well. Like I should refer to someone else who's dedicating their life to that, but they taught us enough to respect it, to understand our limitations and like how it works so that you can make that referral.

34:12That's a little bit of a digression, but just to say, you know, on your point, I do want to echo checking people's credentials. I am, it's a big red flag for me when someone says they're a doctor, but they don't say what kind of doctor they are. There are literally weekend certificates or online programs where you earn a doctorate and then they act as if they can practice medicine, which is false. I hate that this happens because I think it's really difficult and dangerous for the consumer. I had a woman the other day who came on and was like saying all this stuff and she's like, well, I have a PhD.

34:51And I was like, well, excuse me, what is your PhD in your handle on your social media? Nowhere is your real name listed. Like, I can't vet you. I can't look at, she was so mad at me for asking. And I was like, want people to understand that's a red flag because anybody who has legitimately earned their credentials, we are not going to be upset that you ask for them. We've worked hard for them. We're very proud of them. Like we're going to give them to you. So I think it's really unfortunate for people to understand that if your provider, if the person has a medical license, there are boards that make sure that they're following the law to a T.

35:30I can't step out of line. I'm also a rule follower, so I wouldn't. Like I would have anxiety about that. But if you're not licensed, then nobody's really governing you. So as a naturopathic physician, which is how my license reads, there's a lot of people who will impersonate what I do. And they're like, well, I'm a naturopathic doctor. And when you ask them more about it, they've never even studied anywhere. They're just calling themselves that. And because they're not licensed, nobody's checking up on them. That boggles my mind. If your ADHD feels different across your cycle, postpartum, or in perimenopause, ADHD and Women explains why hormones can change your brain and what you can do about it.

36:13Pre-order now and for a limited time, get the first chapter audio read by me, Dr. Jolene Brighton, for free, plus a bunch of other bonuses like a free recipe guide and a PMDD workshop. Claim your bonuses at drbrighton.com slash ADHD and women. That's D-R-B-R-I-G-H-T-E-N.com slash ADHD and women. It's wild and wild west out there. Breathwork's not regulated. And I think people think breathwork is benign. Everybody breathes, so therefore it's not a problem. But I always say to people, and everybody drinks water. But if you do too much of that, or you do too much water after dehydration, you could find yourself in critical care in the hospital.

37:00Like just because this is a natural, normal thing we're all doing doesn't mean there aren't consequences when you step out of normal parameters. And I think holotrophic breath, for example, is outside of normal parameters and we have to be cautious with it. Not that it doesn't have power, just like cold plunging, right? You think about fasting and all the women, all the biohackers are like fast like us. I really, I should be like, write a book that says like, do not ask like men, please don't do it. Yeah. I mean, I think scope of practice is, is really critical. You know, I mean, this is a challenge I, I face with, you know, and I think this is something that social media has really perpetuated is, is the charlatans of the bunch.

37:47You know, you'll see chiropractors acting outside of their scope of practice, right? And making claims around whatever, you know, it could be around fasting, it could be around gut health. And, you know, they're wearing a stethoscope around their neck and it's like, that's not really your scope of practice. And there's so many people out there that are phenomenal experts in what they do. There's, you know, licensed, board certified naturopathic, you know, and you're board certified in endocrinology, right? You know, and I mean, there's so many people out there, you know, go find them. Don't just stick with the Instagram or TikTok influencer.

38:29And it can be really dangerous and also costly because a lot of these people charge exorbitant amounts of money for their services. and they may not be fully qualified. So, you know, just do your due diligence and be mindful of that. I will say that, you know, like I said, the Breathwork community is starting to, there are accreditation programs that are accrediting, you know, different Breathwork training. So, you know, you can research that. Google, ChatGPT is always great for finding resources on that. I love that you bring up ChatGPT though, because I think ChatGPT is not a place to get medical advice, but ChatGPT is a place to educate yourself further on something.

39:16Like my doctor said this, what does that mean? And like, you can help refine questions and say like, what should I ask my doc based on this? What should I be asking my doctor? What kind of labs should I ask them? And I really love that people have access to that tool. I want to talk about adverse childhood events. you brought that up. You also brought up that you had a very stressful childhood. I am curious, you know, you're Algerian. Do you think there's a cultural component to that? Because I, I asked that because I come from Chancla culture. Um, all my Latinas will know. Um, and anyone who has seen Encanto understands that like I was, I was Luisa, like when you were the oldest child, you don't have emotions.

40:00You carry everything for everybody. You make sure that everybody's You are the second mother in the house. And if you do not perform your duties or you step out of line, the chancla, for people who don't know what that is, is a flip-flop. You're like Madre, might be chucking that across the room at your head. These things literally happen in our culture, and it's really only in newer generations that we see people stepping away. So with that context, I'd like to understand more the cultural component. talk to people about what ACE scores are. And then I want to get into like, how can people start to heal their nervous system from childhood up?

40:41Well, first of all, thank you for sharing that. The chancla culture is, it's real, it's universal. In Algier, it's like the pentufa, you know, and mom has great aim with that. I know she can, it's like a, like Kobe could never, She can hit three kids all at once, you know, in one shot. To answer your question about, you know, culture. Yes, the short answer is yes, right? There are different understandings, right, of how to raise children. And those vary around the world. There's also, you know, being raised by immigrants, right? Yep. My parents experienced unimaginable terror in their lives. My father, you know, had to become the breadwinner of his family at 13 when his dad died, right?

41:49Yeah. He left Algeria at 17 and went and worked on Italian ships and as a deckhand. And then he worked in the galley making coffee. Right. And that man worked himself to the bone. And he had tremendous survival tactics. Right. He was so resourceful. and that resourcefulness came from a lifetime of distress. You know, at 18, you know, he was home visiting his family, a bomb dropped on his house. Oh my gosh. You know, and he survived it and had a broken femur, was in the hospital for three months, right? Like talk about resilience. Went to culinary school in France, became a very successful chef, traveled all over the world, settled in Napa, and did really well for himself in Napa.

42:48My mother grew up during the Algerian War for Independence, a very, very brutal time when the French, who had occupied Algeria for 132 years, were dealing with all sorts of guerrilla warfare tactics, but they had taken every male adult and adolescent to prison. Right. My mother is the youngest of 10. She grew up without her dad and her brothers and really only met her dad a couple of times before he died because he was tortured so much that he developed a cardiac issue. The French, if you don't know, were extremely brutal in their torture tactics. And were electrocuting men by their testicles.

43:42Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And that happened to my grandfather. And he developed a cardiac issue. They let him out of prison. He died three days later. Oh, my gosh. And so, you know, and then the violence, right? My mother endured unbelievable levels of violence in her life from her sisters, from neighbors. She endured sexual violence. And it's a miracle that she had the capacity for kindness and for goodness. The flip side of that. Yeah. Well, I want people to understand that what you just identified are several ACE scores, more than several ACE scores, having a family member that goes to jail, sexual assault, abuse, like there's many things.

44:31So your parents were set up for nervous system dysregulation. A hundred percent. And for people to understand that if that's not resolved, this is not to blame moms at all. If that's not resolved, the dysregulation of the pregnant woman imprints the dysregulation on the fetus, subsequent baby. A hundred percent. There's the epigenetic component that goes even beyond the mother, right? It goes to the grandmother as well. because if a grandmother is pregnant with a female fetus, right, and every female is born with all the eggs that she'll ever have, that actually impacts multiple generations. So, yeah, I mean, both of my parents experienced horrifying things, you know, and I feel so honored that they made the decisions that they made.

45:32to come to America and to live out the American dream, right? They were the two hardest working people I've ever met in my entire life. And I know that they wanted the best for my siblings and I. And like you, I'm the oldest daughter. And with that comes great responsibility and duty. We're very much the Spider-Mans of the house. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. With great power comes great responsibility. Exactly. I'm a Marvel nerd. I've become one through my study. And so, you know, the expectations, right, that are the implications of those expectations. You know, I had, you know, to get straight A's, I had to be the best at everything I did.

46:21My father used to always say, you must always be the best at anything you do. And he would always give me this story of being the only Arab in his school because my father's family was more well off. And so he went to school with the French kids. And he talked about the racism that he experienced. And the only thing that saved him was that he had high marks, high scores. You know, they also had a lot of corporal punishment. So he got in trouble for the dumbest things. But, you know, he'd always be like, you have to be the best at what you do. That was drilled into my head. And then, of course, my mom had this unrealistic expectation.

47:08She had a tremendous insecurity around the fact that she was not educated. And her number one goal in life is like, my kid's going to go to the best universities and she's going to be the best at this and the best at that. that resulted in, as a child, being really overcommitted. Yeah. Right? So, you know, of course, academic excellence was one of them. And having no help, by the way, right? Because my father worked a lot and my mom was insecure about being uneducated, but still had this expectation that, oh, you're going to get straight A's, but you're going to do it on your own. I was blown away in school when I learned that other people's parents helped them.

47:51Yeah. I was also had the same. My childhood is very similar in the expectations. You know, having come from an immigrant family, the expectations are just, I mean, through the roof because they worked so hard to get you to where you are. And so that's not lost on me either. Um, and yet I just remember doing a science fair project and kids were talking about how their parents helped them. And I just remember having this moment of like, wait, everybody's getting help at home. Like I'm expected to get these A's and these grades. I have to make honor roll without, um, fail. Like in our small town, they would put it in the newspaper.

48:36Um, and so like, you know, every parent would check who is on there. I look back at that and I was like, that is one of the most psychologically draining things that ever have. Like I have to be in this newspaper because everybody will know if I'm not. You know, but just to your point about all of that, that type of stress is almost, it's more matched to the stress that's put on adults to perform in their careers. Yeah. I mean, that's where it starts. Right. It starts with the parenting. And it's intrinsically tied, at least for me it was, to my worth, right? If I didn't perform well. As you say this, I'm like, it's still intrinsically tied to my worth.

49:22This is something that I've been working on. You're working on. You know, I'm a work in progress as well. You know, I'm still healing. And I'm committed to that for the rest of my life, right? I didn't have the childhood I think I deserved, right? And it wasn't all bad. But I have to, one of my favorite yoga instructors always says you're undoing a lifetime of doing. And so that's where we have to have patience and grace for ourselves through that journey. But, you know, this is where these unrealistic expectations, that pressure that we put on ourselves, and of course, it's reinforced by society and what society thinks is you're always producing.

50:08Then you're winning, right? Oh, yeah. And you always get that positive reinforcement. I'm curious. So through what your parents experienced and what you experienced, how did these, you know, what get categorized as ACE score, these traumatic events or stressful experiences, what do they do to a child's nervous system? Creates a tremendous amount of dysregulation. And, you know, the first way that you'll see it manifests is in behavioral issues, right? You may notice shutdowns. You may notice the opposite end of the spectrum of where there's outcries for help and meltdowns and et cetera. It sets your nervous system up for those adaptive behaviors becoming maladaptive later in life.

51:02Right. The things that we have to do to keep ourselves safe. You know, I can give you the example of my upbringing. Not only did I have those expectations of perfection, there were serious consequences. You know, I grew up fearing for my life. From the two people who are supposed to love you the most. Yeah. I can relate. Mostly from my mother. My father was just absent, you know, and I have to have compassion for him. You know, one of the things that comes from like understanding this stuff and really like having the courage to face it is the difference between the conceptual compassion where we can identify the challenges that our parents faced and we can intellectualize it.

51:52Right. And, and say, oh, you know, their life was hard, therefore it makes sense. But having true heartfelt compassion is a totally different thing. And that can only come through you having compassion for yourself. So do you feel like having that compassion is part of the healing and actually can lend itself to more parasympathetic activity? Giving yourself grace, having compassion for, you know, maybe what happened to you and that it wasn't your fault. I experienced violence, you know, from my mother. And I'm not talking about a spanking or smack on the butt. I'm talking about like prison beatings.

52:38Mm-hmm. And, you know, I have complex PTSD from those experiences. For people who don't know what that is, can you define that for us? And I want to say, just I appreciate, I know this is a very heavy conversation and you're sharing all this with us. And I don't want to seem insensitive as I interject the things to make sure our listeners are on the same page. No, it's okay. It's just, you know, it's post-traumatic stress disorder to the next level. You can experience triggers. Excuse me. I can tell you triggers that I experience is if I see a parent physically disciplining a child or being too physical, I have wanted to beat them myself.

53:37Mm-hmm.

53:59makes me want to cry because it's such a cruel thing. So, you know, again, understanding these triggers, understanding where these things come from for me was really integral into being able to do something about it, right? Understanding my trauma. And the thing that I was not trauma trauma-informed for most of my life, right? What does trauma-informed mean? I mean, that's a very new concept. I think most people listening to this probably heard that term, if at all, in the last five to seven years. Yeah. And thank God. Thank God we're talking about it. I didn't really understand what trauma was.

54:47And I love how Bessel van der Kolk, who is, you know, a remarkable trauma researcher, and he wrote the book, The Body Keeps the Score, how he defines trauma, excuse me, as total overwhelm. The experience of total overwhelm of like, my God, you know. And if that happens repeatedly to a child or in the early years of life, that can create dysfunction in the nervous system. And in my case, not only did it happen repeatedly, it was unpredictable. Which is the number one way abusers get conformity out of their victims is to keep it unpredictable because then you never know when then a shoe's going to drop.

55:45So that lends itself to the chronic people pleasing that you were talking about. And as you were talking about, I mean, it changes you at a physiological level. the brains of children who even just get spanked, which people are very flippant about that sometimes, but even just that actually will change a child's brain and the way their nervous system functions. That will change the way their cortisol is responded to and how their cortisol operates through their whole life. So not even the extreme violence you're talking about, but what some people believe is their right as a parent to punish their child by inflicting pain.

56:28There is research to back up that it may very much shorten the lifespan of that individual's life because of the way it changes their nervous system and their hormones. So I think that's really important for people to understand that piece, but also understand that there is healing that can happen through this. And that thankfully the brain is, we have neuroplasticity. It can change. It's adaptive, right? We used to think like anything that happens, that's a forever state. You know, having something like the, so post-traumatic stress disorder for people to understand, I think the best models that we actually have of that are people in the military.

57:10And there's been extensive research on that, that you go through a traumatic event and it changes your nervous system. It changes your cortisol receptors. It changes all of that response. You will always be primed for fight, flight, freeze, fawn. And this is not your body betraying you. This is your body saying, when I was in my formative years, when, you know, as I've learned, I need to be primed to go into the major sympathetic stress response so that I can survive. life. So I'm sure you're going to talk a bit about your healing journey, but for people who are listening to this, how do they start to take the first step towards healing?

57:55It's multifaceted. Yeah, of course. Healing is never linear and it's never one thing. And as much as like some of medicine has convinced us there's a pill for it, there's just not a pill for everything or really anything can be healed with a pill alone. Yeah, I think it comes down to good old fashioned hard work. You know, are you willing to do the work? That's the first question, right? Have you had enough suffering in your life? Have you created enough challenge for yourself? Because at the end of the day, you know, what happened to you is what happened to you. But you're an adult now and you're living the life you're living and you're making the choices you're making.

58:41And you have the capacity to change that if you don't like them. It's a harsh reality to have to face. And I think just for people listening, I think that's very different than if you're currently in that cycle, that cycle of abuse, that cycle of trauma, just to differentiate that out. Because it does sound harsh, I think, if you take it from that context of like, but I'm currently in a situation where like maybe I'm experiencing domestic violence. that's, you don't have the capacity to heal, right? Because you are completely in survival. So we're talking about a different situation here. Yes.

59:16And that actually ties into my, my experience and that, that wake up I had, but it comes, you know, first and foremost, you got to start with the will to, to change. Secondly, get yourself a trauma-informed therapist, right that's going to help guide you through the journey um i have the best therapist ever who's amazing and has tolerated a lot of my garbage but um she's guided me in in really beautiful ways because healing is hard and my philosophy is that if you're going to do something hard You should do it with intention and with support. Anybody that tells you that they did it on their own or they climbed the top of the mountain by themselves is full of shit.

1:00:11I'm sorry. That's not real. So find a supportive therapist. And if therapy is not within your access or your reach, find a good friend. a safe person that you can trust that also has the capacity to support you through that. And then I'd say, you know, take the time to cultivate that self-awareness, right? Because you can't heal what you don't understand. And when I finally had the courage to address myself and had the space to do so, right, when I was no longer in that cycle of abuse, the healing happens fast. It's amazing how much the shifts happen quickly. And then also have a sense of faith.

1:01:14You know, it's not linear. the process you know is like you might swirl around and then you might go up and then you might go down and you might plateau right um it's not a linear journey and you have to be prepared for that but I also think it's phenomenally rewarding and for me personally to go from a space of And thinking I was broken, thinking that I had some sort of, you know, pathologized predisposition to depression, that I was never going to be happy, you know. So to go from that to a place of I can feel joy, you know, and I can be present to like the wonder and beauty of this life, you know, because that's what it's about.

1:02:16Right. And I get emotional talking about it because I'm so inspired by it. And that's within us all, that we all have the capacity to access that experience of what it means to be human, that it can be remarkably beautiful. I think you put your tissue over there. I did. Excuse me. I'm so sorry. It's okay. Okay. I just realized. I was like, oh, no, the tissue's not there. It's sitting for so long. It's not good for our butts. For people who think self-care is all you need to fix your stress, why won't bubble baths and deep breathing be enough? I love talking about this. So bubble baths are great.

1:03:01I love me a bubble bath. Unless you get a UTI. I was going to say, part of the reason I don't take them so frequently is they're not good for me. But, you know, if that makes you feel good, again, this goes back to the trigger journal, right? Like identifying the things that feel good to you. You should do those things. But those cannot be the only things, right? Having a face mask, you know, or facial, right? Going for a massage. You know, massages can, if you're in like a triggered, like stressful state and you go for a deep tissue massage, what happens to your muscles when you're stressed out?

1:03:44Yeah, there, I probably have some right now because I was flying this week, but you know, you get hypertonic. You get, for people who don't know what that is, if you've ever had someone touch your shoulders and they're like, oh, those are like a rock. Or maybe you even have trigger points, right? Like there's knots in those muscles and the nervous system is just very angry in that concentrated position. Yeah. So what happens when you go get a massage when you're in that state? Your body's not going to receive it, right? In fact, it may exacerbate it. People are always shocked to hear that. They're like, I just want a deep tissue massage because I have this tension.

1:04:17I'm like, the last thing you need right now is a deep tissue massage. You need to go get in a sauna and like switch into the parasympathetic state and maybe get more sleep, you know, maybe take something off your plate. So I kind of stress the importance of science-backed self-care. That's, you know, my studio-worthy self-care studio, that's everything we do. Everything we offer is focused on science-backed self-care. So we use modalities that are going to create an impactful shift in your nervous system, whether that's through infrared saunas, whether that's through a guided cold plunge, whether that's through compressive lymphatic therapy, right?

1:05:04Or lymphatic drainage, right? Which is actually how we met. Because my lymphatic drainage practitioner in Paris introduced us. Yeah, yeah. And to Honey, she says hi, by the way. That's a dear friend of mine. So, um, but yeah, or, you know, using red light therapy, right? Um, so integrating science backed self-care is important because it, it does have to have a purpose. So what does red light therapy do for stress? Like how is that helping? It's so delicious. I love it. Um, in essence, what red light therapy can trigger is a shift into the parasympathetic state. It can also reduce inflammation, which is often a byproduct of chronic stress, right, and chronic sympathetic activation.

1:05:55It also supercharges your mitochondria, right, which when you're exposed to long-term chronic stress, you know, your mitochondrial function becomes impaired. And you really need your mitochondria to function appropriately because it's integral in every single cellular activity that happens in your body. It's integral to every organ system in the body. And for women to understand, one of the most concentrated tissues of mitochondria in your body is your ovaries. So if your mitochondria ain't right, your hormones ain't right. Exactly. So red light therapy is phenomenal. I also like to use it towards the end of the day as well to kind of help trigger the melatonin production.

1:06:42You know, I turn off the lights in my house and have red light bulbs because I'm a bit of a freak about light. And it helps kind of signal to my brain that, you know, it's time. It's almost sleepy time. And it helps me wind down and feel more relaxed. I also like to take, you know, electrolytes before I go to bed, you know, not too close to bed because then I wake up. Oh, really? But having adequate hydration is really great for the reparative processes that your brain undergoes while you're sleeping. And I actually learned that from a dear neuroscientist friend named Matt Walker. Oh, yeah. I hear that.

1:07:23And I love that you bring up the hydration piece because people, you know, when we talk about the adrenal glands, people are like, oh, cortisol. They don't understand antidiuretic hormone comes from the adrenal glands. And so chronic dehydration, which a lot of people fall under because they, because there's doctors out there that are like, just drink when you're thirsty. And it's like, okay, can I tell you how dysregulated everybody is how disconnected people are from their body. Like I have to like have my, I drink on a mason jar so I can like track my water. But if you are not getting enough fluids through the day, the adrenal glands have to mount a response to that.

1:08:04And because they are also involved in your stress response, it can be a strain on your adrenal glands and it is going against that healing process. So I love that you bring that up. I'm a big fan of drinking electrolytes. There's lots of great electrolyte brands out there. I'm also like, you can make, you know, basically the mother brew of pink Himalayan salt. And if people don't know this, it's basically like, take a hunk of pink Himalayan salt and you can fill it up in like a gallon thing of water, let that set for a few days. And then you are taking spoonfuls and adding it to your water. So there's a lot of different ways.

1:08:38I like to give people other tools than like thing, like you have to buy this expensive brand. Like there's, you know, other options out there. If your ADHD feels different across your cycle, postpartum or in perimenopause, ADHD in Women explains why hormones can change your brain and what you can do about it. Pre-order now and for a limited time, get the first chapter audio read by me, Dr. Jolene Brighton for free. Plus a bunch of other bonuses like a free recipe guide and a PMDD workshop. Claim your bonuses at drbrighton.com slash ADHD and women. That's D-R-B-R-I-G-H-T-E-N.com slash ADHD and women.

1:09:23So we talked about the red light therapy. We talked about hydration. You mentioned that you're using saunas. I'm like, I'm with you. Like before you go for deep tissue, because sometimes we store things, unresolved emotions in our body. And when you start releasing things, it can, it can bring up trauma, which is why it's important to have that counselor, have that therapy. I talk about pelvic floor physical therapy all the time. I don't think I talk enough about how, how, when you have that release in your pelvic floor, or things can get stirred up. Often people think like, oh, only if you've had sexual trauma, but not realizing that really metaphorically speaking, the pelvic floor is basically like the net, right?

1:10:07I think about like, we're tightrope walking all the time. And when we fall for whatever reason, the pelvic floor is there catching us. And so it's catching like when things don't go our way, when things hit us. So that's a little bit of a digression in all of this, but I want to come back more to the hormones because women are burning out at alarming rates. What is it you think doctors are not telling them when it comes to chronic stress, hormones, and their nervous system? I think doctors have the best of intentions. And only so much time. And only so much time. And they also lack, oftentimes the awareness of their own nervous systems.

1:10:56Therefore, they can't practice or, you know, they're not practicing what they're preaching, right? They may give you like some, you know, handout about stress and, you know, lowering stress, and you might want to take up yoga, right? I remember like my mom, who, especially during her menopausal years, was very dysregulated, You know, and could not understand how to calm herself down. Like, just did not have the capacity for it. And I remember her doctor telling her, oh, you should go to yoga. I thought that was the dumbest thing, you know, to offer this woman. And I'm like, you know, maybe get her some therapy.

1:11:44Maybe, you know, teach her about her nervous system and the rest of her body. And unfortunately, she wasn't totally receptive to those things. And I would try to talk to her about it. But to answer your question, yeah, I mean, the burnout component of things is real. We know that these levels of chronic stress in women lead to a plethora of diseases. We have the highest risk of developing cardiovascular disease. which is significantly linked to chronic stress. We also know that women are disproportionately affected by autoimmune conditions, right? Hashimoto's thyroiditis, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, right?

1:12:36How many men do you know that suffer from this? I do know some, but that's just by way of who I am in this world. I don't know any, but, you know, they do disproportionately affect women. And that's because of, you know, stress responses. And then we talk about hormones, right? It creates a significant hormone imbalance because what happens is stress steals your hormones to produce cortisol, right? And that can create a significant imbalance, whether it's through estrogen dominance or it can also be too little estrogen at the same time, right? Or at a different time, depending on the person and the manifestation of that.

1:13:18So, you know, what can women do is, you know, create lifestyle changes, right? One thing I'm a big fan of is boundaries. Mm hmm. So when to shut off work mode is one. Right. Because I also think that like we have to consider the societal implications of what it means to be a woman. I'm a single mother. Right. I own three businesses. And I'm also a best friend and a sister and a community member. And I'm a human being. And I struggle, you know, even despite what I do for a living, I also struggle with finding balance, you know. So having boundaries around what you're going to interact with, consciousness, right?

1:14:19Setting a timer to like turn off work mode, right? Right. Not interacting with toxic news cycles or anything. Again, this goes back to the trigger journal. Right. Anything that creates an overwhelming stress response for you. For me, I had to sign off from news. I read the news once a week just so that I can understand like current events. But it's not something I consume every single day because it's it's very distressing to me because I am in a very empathetic. person and I care about humans and it can cause me to freeze. There's an Instagram account called so informed. And for people who are like, how could you possibly know what's going on in a week?

1:15:09They do a weekly roundup of news you may have missed and they go through all of it. And I've found that account has been really helpful in the weeks where same, I have to shut off the news. And you can feel guilty about that too, because you're like, I have to stay informed. I have to know what's going on in the world. I can't just be an ostrich with my head in the sand. And yet, I think we also have to recognize that it does not benefit you, your family, your community, or society if what you're consuming is leading to you burning out. Yeah, you have to. I mean, you know, as the old adage goes, you have to put your mask on before you put on, you know, your child's mask or anybody else's mask, right?

1:15:58It's also a really amazing way that you can self-preserve. And that is important for your survival and your longevity. You know, think of these acts as, you know, little deposits into the longevity piggy bank, right? And the more you decrease your stress, the more you have the capacity to be present to the joys of life. And, you know, we get fed this information that we have to be these responsible citizens. And while it is helpful and important to be informed about what's going on in the world, I'd say, you know, number one is you. Yeah. Well, sometimes people feel that selfish. And I want to go back to your analogy that we hear every time we get on a plane, your mask goes on first, your child second.

1:16:48They don't just say that so that you make sure your child's mask is on, right? You don't want to lose consciousness. They say that because no one on that plane is going to look after for your child the way you're going to. And that's the part I think people miss is that no one else is going to look after your child, look after your mother, look after your friend the way you're going to. And so you absolutely have to take care of yourself first to have that capacity to do that. And I really think it's important that, especially as women, we start reframing that. It's not just like, oh, because it's important so that I can make sure their needs are met.

1:17:29It's because you're the one, you're the one who is going to be most impactful in your community's survival. So we need you. We need you firing at full cylinders. You need you. Yes, absolutely. No one's going to save you. This is true. Well, hopefully they will. Hopefully you have some people that will. But when it comes to, you know, what I think you're saying is that when it comes to your own health, you're the only one living in your body. You know what's normal. you know what's not. No one on the outside can identify that you need to be rescued until things are really bad, really bad. So you have to step in.

1:18:07You have to be present like you were talking about with the trigger journal and you have to step in and step up for yourself. When, I want to ask you for people right now who are like, I am not getting sleep. I have no energy. Like stress is robbing me of my vitality, what are like three tips that you would give them in that arena? Yeah. Train up the parasympathetic nervous system. Okay. How we do it. So two of my favorite ways are through heat exposure and cold exposure contrast therapy. So not only does, you know, heat exposure, I'm a big fan of infrared saunas because of how they heat the body.

1:18:53For those of you that don't know what an infrared sauna is, it differs from a traditional Swedish or Finnish sauna in that it uses infrared heat, which penetrates your core body temperature. It raises the core body temperature by one to two degrees, mimicking a fever. And that, you know, sets off a cascade of events in the body where, you know, your immune system is doing its thing. It's detoxifying to the body through sweat, but it also lowers your blood pressure and engages the parasympathetic state. And as you build that heat tolerance, usually 20 to 30 minutes is good. As you build that heat tolerance, it's kind of remarkable to see the shifts in your nervous system where your baseline is calm.

1:19:43The other modality I really love is cold plunging. I created a method called the Worthy Method of Guiding a Cold Plunge, and it's rooted in a somatic body scan, which helps you kind of connect to your body, which, as you mentioned earlier, a lot of people are disconnected from their bodies. So it's an opportunity to scan the body, right? This is a therapeutic tool that's often used in somatic psychology, where you start from the tips of your toes and you work up to the crown of the head. I like to integrate it with a lot of love and a lot of gratitude because our bodies are remarkable, like magical machines, right?

1:20:28And they're complex, you know, beings, if you will. And how often do you wake up in the morning and put your feet on the floor when you get up out of your bed and say, thank you, feet. Yeah. You know, thanks, toes, for all you do for, you know, in every step I take in the world, right? Before you put your heels on and hate them. Yeah. It's not me, unfortunately, but God made me tall for a reason. That's true. You are tall. I'm vertically challenged in life. I know. I think sitting down, I look a lot shorter because I'm all legs, but, you know, I'm 5 '10". No, no. We took a photo together, I remember, and I was like standing between you and your friend, And I was like, wow, I forget.

1:21:12Like I joke. So my brother is like over six feet tall. He's like a whole foot taller than me. And like, I feel for some reason in my mind, I'm his size and he's built like a linebacker. And so I'll just like forget like how compact I'm riding around in life until I'm next to people who are taller than me. And then, oh, look at me. I'm so small. I'm a munchkin. I'm like, you know, the lollipop guild over here. But you know what? Your personality is big. Yeah, maybe that's what it is. I want to get back to your like, okay, so you were talking about the worthy method and you integrate this with cold plunging?

1:21:45Yes. So you do a somatic body scan and then we take a moment to really set an intention because going back to the point that I made earlier, when you do anything hard, you should do it with support and with intention. And cold plunging is freaking hard. Yeah. You have to be very present in your body. And I think next to birth, that might be the only thing that has demanded surrender from me. And I really love it and enjoy it. You know, you don't necessarily enjoy it in the moment, but you have to just surrender to the sensations in your body. Not if you're like, oh my God, I'm going numb and I think I have frostbite.

1:22:30We're not talking about that. That's true. I'm talking about like, this is cold and it's uncomfortable and I acknowledge this. I accept it. I surrender to feeling the discomfort rather than trying to fight it. Yes. Yes to all of that. surrender is such a tremendous key in all of this, especially when understanding stress, when faced with challenge, right? That can feel overwhelming. Surrender is a really powerful tool. I don't think it's a mistake that a lot of faiths around the world call for surrender, right? Surrender to a higher power or what have you. And that can guide people through some really challenging moments.

1:23:24You feel like faith is a very important component in healing your nervous system? Not for everyone, but for me, it has been. It's helped me believe in myself better by surrendering to something beyond myself. and I've had many instances in my life where I've been brought to my knees and I think the reason I survived was because I surrendered. And I think something that you said also about the act of like, I'm experiencing discomfort, this is very cold, I am safe. I am safe, right? That's something that we say to our clients a lot of times because our cold plunge is very cold. We have Morosco Forge cold plunge, which I think is the best one on the market.

1:24:19They produce their own ice. They're extremely hygienic and grounding, but they get very cold. Ours is set to 36 degrees. And we often have to tell people when they're having that activation moment, right, during their cold plunge that you're safe. This is uncomfortable. It's temporary. But know that you are safe. I'm here with you. And as we're, you know, when we're guiding people through that intention setting moment, right, we always say, I'm here to be your guide and your witness. I will keep you safe and I will make sure that nothing happens, nothing bad happens to you. This is so important to communicate to people.

1:25:10I can't tell you the importance of it. But I also, you know, the reason I created this method is because I did trainings in a number of different cold plunging modalities. And I found that it was more dysregulating for me than anything to have someone screaming at me with a stopwatch. Oh, I know. That's so dumb. Like I'm in a major stress response and then you're in my face. Like I'm somebody that my default mode is fight. You don't want to do that with me. I want to punch you. My nervous system. Like, and it's, um, I'm like, my husband has learned, um, not to scare me in the dark. He used to think it was fun until he got socked a few times.

1:25:48And then one time he jumped out when I was coming out of the bathroom and I grabbed the door, uh, jams and I pulled up my foot. I almost kicked him in the chest. He would have flown down the stairs. And I'm like, you have to stop doing this. Like, I'm going to tell this other story. Cause he would be like, I can't believe you didn't tell on yourself for this. one time he walked up behind me in the store and he grabbed my butt and I turned around and instantly grabbed his throat and he was like, and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Like this is how I'm programmed. Like that is my initial response.

1:26:23And I'm always like, I think as a woman, especially because we're like, we're not supposed to be like that. Right. I always am like so mortified. So anyhow, I super power though. I very much let people know though. Like if you do that if you want to battle, like don't push me too far because I'm not a freeze. I won't run away. I will engage. Um, and I have, um, because of some genes that I have, which are, they're termed the warrior genes. Fantastic. We were still living in tribes, like on a plane or something, but like I clear my cortisol very slow. So once you get me in that mode, I'm like, the come down is hard.

1:27:02And sometimes I'm like raging and I'm like, I'm sorry. It's just like, I got to go do jump squats now. I have to move this energy out. I got to dump it out. Yeah. Anyhow, that's like, I digress, but I'm sure there are people who can relate to like, I don't want to be screamed at. Like it's so silly. It's just regulating. You know, I'm very sensitive to someone raising their voice given my, my upbringing. Right. Um, also like the seeking, I find that to be very egoic. And that's also something that I believe is associated with, with the masculine. What's the seeking? What do you mean? Um, seeking to hit a time.

1:27:39Oh yeah. You know, because that takes you out of your body and out of the present moment and into your ego. And that's not where you need to be when you're sitting in 36 degree, you know, there needs to be an ego dissolution. Um, so, you know, making sure that what I, what I love about the worthy method, I don't know why I ask, is that it brings in a little bit more of the feminine. So once you set your intention, we seal it off. And throughout the experience, we're also incorporating different types of breath work. And this helps calm the nervous system. I cannot tell you how many times we've had people that are pacing back and forth in front of the cold plunge.

1:28:22And they get diarrhea of the mouth, as my dad used to say. They're just like, I'm so bad at this, and I can't tolerate cold. And are you going to be here? Oh, gosh, can this be over? You know, it's like, and then you guide them through the somatic body scan. You guide them through the breath work. You guide them through the intention setting. And by the time it's time for them to open their eyes and face the water, they're like, okay, I think I can do this. And then when we facilitate the plunge, we do so to music. It's very intentional music. So there's no timer anywhere in sight. And it engages the auditory senses, right?

1:29:05Which when we listen to beautiful music or inspiring lyrics, that can be very regulating to your nervous system. Is that a tool that people could be incorporating daily? A hundred percent. Okay. Yeah. Listen to beautiful music, music that inspires you. Dancing is also another one that I really love. And then, you know, once they're in the cold plunge, what happens oftentimes to people, particularly when their ribs hit the water, is they have a hyperventilation response. It happens in about 70 % of the population. Right? Yeah. And that is not good. That's not good for signaling safety to the body.

1:29:48So we always let people know that the way to get out of that is to exhale. Think of the inhale as the sympathetic activation, the exhale as the parasympathetic. And they both serve a purpose, right? But they also need to be balanced. And so when cold plunging, I always recommend inhaling for four counts, exhaling for six counts. Why is the longer exhale important for people to understand? Because you're in a stressful situation. And what does the longer exhale do? It activates the parasympathetic nervous system. And this is a tool that you can use in any stressful situation, right? Is connect to your breath, inhale for four, exhale for six, right?

1:30:33And trust friends, if you can do this in a stressful state like cold plunge, it makes it, you actually build the neuronal pathways that say, I'm in a stress response. I'm going to go into my deep breathing. So it's one way you can train yourself to have a better stress response. Exactly. This is, we call it stress resilience adaptation. So you can create stress resilience in your body. Now, once you get through that threshold of that first 30 to 45 seconds of the cold plunge where your body's like, oh shit, I'm going to die. Right. And if you regulate your breath, it's the most beautiful thing to watch.

1:31:10I mean, it's such a privilege to witness people experience this because it's the point at which people surrender. And they go from this tense experience to just being like, and then they connect to their breath. And that's where the magic happens. You know, the hands-on coaching becomes not so hands-on. I like to, you know, when I see someone has found a good rhythm with their breath, I may invite them to seal their lips and just do nasal breathing. Sometimes I like to incorporate humming because humming helps stimulate the vagus nerve, which also cold plunging does, right? But it also stimulates the pleasure response, right?

1:31:59What happens when you feed a baby delicious food? Oh, yeah, always. That is not a mistake. What happens when you experience sexual pleasure, right? Mm, right? When you can bring that into the experience of these stressful situations, you're reprogramming your brain and your stress response towards safety. Mm-hmm. And then the best part is telling them that their cold plunge is done. Yeah. And they've gone off into another place within themselves. And they're like, what? My time's up? I'm finished? I just got in. No, you've been in for three minutes and 35 seconds. You're good. And then the other part that I love getting the opportunity to witness is seeing people realize that they're a lot stronger than they give themselves credit for.

1:32:55That they're capable of so much. Yeah. For people who don't have access to a cold plunge, is there a way they can replicate this at home? Yes. So cold showers are a form of cold exposure. So ending your shower with cold. Ending your shower with cold. And I'm not talking mildly cold. I'm talking... Crank that, baby. Make it as cold as it gets, right? Because I think usually taps are around like anywhere from 55 to 58 degrees. And then focus on your breath in the shower. Obviously, you have to rotate in the shower. You don't want the water to just be on one part of your body. Though I do strongly recommend that you have it hit your neck to help kind of stimulate the response to the cold exposure.

1:33:44You can also dunk your face in a bowl of ice water. That's also a really profound form of cold exposure. Every day in the summer. Yeah. And then you can also, you know, do what I did during the pandemic, which, you know, I became very good friends with the local 7-Eleven. Ice machine? Ice machine. The guy, like, knew what I was coming in for. He's like, I got the ice for you today, you know, and turn your bathtub into a cold plunge. There's actually, you know, pretty affordable tubs out there that are like pop-up tubs. I think they cost around$200. Um, there's, you know, the whole spectrum of cold plunge tubs that go up to very high ranges.

1:34:29There's, there's also a circulator. Yeah. I was just going to ask, there's the lay down and then there's the like squat down, like which do you think work better? Does it matter? That's up to personal preference. Um, yeah. Cause I hate the lay down. The jury, the jury is out on, uh, there's some people that I think make unfounded claims around, you know, which one is better. The science doesn't support that. Um, it's really up to personal preference. You know, I have a Morosco forge, which is a lay down. Yeah. I say I hate the lay down. I've only done cold plunges where like you're, you're sinking straight down in it, but except when I was in Iceland, then I was doing, um, sauna and then jumping into the lake, but the lake was not deep enough.

1:35:16So you had to like lay down and I was like, I hate this so much. Yeah. It may only be because it was a different experience and I had like adapted and like had set my mindset to like plunging down versus like, oh, you're laying down. You got to keep going and going and going. Maybe that was, I needed more experience with it. I don't know. I should try more lay downs before I like totally subscribe to hating them. I think also like, you know, people don't realize that But when you cold plunge, I always tell our clients like slow and controlled, no hesitation. Right. So if you get into a cold plunge and you just stand there, it gives your brain more time to send the signals of like, oh my God.

1:36:03I will also say as a woman, I've got to get past my breast as soon as possible. You have to. Because the way, and I think - It makes your nipples hurt. Every, yes, everybody that has ever been cold knows that like the contraction that happens with the areola and the nipples, you have to get past that as soon as possible. And for people who are listening, if your nipples ever get like, you get cold and they get really hard and painful, maybe they even start to turn lighter in color. That can be a sign of Raynaud's. And Raynaud's is a contraindication for cold plunging. But often I don't think we talk enough about it for women.

1:36:41And it's not just fingertips and toes. Your nipples can have that Raynaud's response where you get such a contraction of the blood vessels, you're not getting blood flow. And that pain is tissue dying. Like we don't want that. Yeah, we definitely don't want that. There's absolutely, you know, in situations where there's contraindications might not be a good idea to do. Let's talk about that, though. What are contraindications to cold plunging? Untreated cardiovascular disease. Oh, definitely. Yeah. I'm so glad you brought that one up. Yeah. I think especially in the cold plunging world, there's, again, there are charlatans out there that want to ignore the evidence.

1:37:22And that's an example of an unsafe situation. People with renaud syndrome should not cold plunge. People who are pregnant in the first trimester should not cold plunge, though you can after. Um, but modified, correct? Modified. Yeah. Shorter. Yeah. Because for people, because there are often women who will be like, I do keto, I do this, I do that. I'm going to do it while I'm pregnant. And I think it's really important for people to understand that pregnancy is not a neutral health state. It's one of the most stressful periods of your life because your blood volume is expanding. There is a great need for the cardiovascular system to adapt.

1:38:07The kidneys have to adapt. Like there are all these changes, but also to keep in mind that if you're already under chronic stress in your life, adding more stress can cause those epigenetic changes in the fetus's development. So that's where I'm like working with someone who has expertise, who's running a clinic, who is making sure that things are safe. Because I haven't seen, we put out a cold plunge article and we got hit back from people being like, this is perfectly safe in pregnancy. And I'm like, who are you to say this? Like, no, like this is not a time to be cold plunging. Like you said, second and third trimester.

1:38:48I mean, it can, even just doing your feet can help significantly with like swelling and things like that. And the lymphatic flesh that you need. Yeah. There's modifications that can happen, but just to be like, no pregnant women can do anything that anyone else is doing. I'm like, that's a great idea, but it's false. People often overlook, and I had no idea until obviously I became pregnant, that it is one of the most stressful events on a woman's body ever, right? Like cardiovascularly, they say it's the equivalent of running a marathon a day or something like that. Yeah, but we treat women just like you should get over childbirth and having a baby and you're done at six weeks.

1:39:28You're totally healed. Oh, good God. That is like such, yeah. I mean, I had so much naivety going into my postpartum phase. I had a difficult pregnancy in that my body, I don't think my body was made to be pregnant. My belly never actually popped. I didn't start showing until it was seven months. I mean, no, that's you. If you have a long torso, I have a long torso. I actually have a short torso. Oh, do you? But I have a very strong abdominal wall. But where is that? Where did my baby go? He went down. So when you were talking about pelvic floor challenges, I actually couldn't exercise. I've been an athlete my whole life.

1:40:16The most I could do was walk because I felt like I had been kicked in the groin. And they were like, oh, it's just round ligament pain. And I'm like, this can't be normal. And my hip hurts so bad. And then going into labor, I was in labor for 31 hours. And I think I pushed for four hours. Oh, yeah. And, you know, didn't realize that I was part of the reason why my labor was so painful was because my psoas was tearing during my contractions. And so, you know, I tried to have a natural birth. I was unable to do so because I couldn't get over the pain. Yeah, yeah. I was in such horrific pain. I don't think I've ever screamed like that in my life, that my body couldn't relax for me to dilate to deliver my baby.

1:41:14And I ended up having to have an epidural. It was either an epidural or a C-section. And so I had the epidural. And, you know, once it wore off after I gave birth, you know, the residual pain I had in my hip where I couldn't walk. And they're like, oh, it's fine. It's just because you had a long night. And for up to one year, I was in horrific pain. I couldn't understand why. I was like, I'm postpartum. I should be fine. I should be okay. I should be back to normal. And it wasn't until I saw this amazing doctor in the Bay Area, she also has a clinic in Los Angeles, who did a special kind of ultrasound.

1:42:00And she said, Melissa, your psoas looks like a moth ate through it. Oh, gosh. And that's why you're in pain. You have multiple tears and you need therapy to repair that. And then, of course, having a good quality pelvic floor therapist. I think I might take the cake for the amount of referrals I send her because I get so many women who come to me, especially as they're entering into the menopausal years where there may be some incontinence developing or some people develop pelvic pain out of the blue where they're like, I've never had this before and now this is a thing and why is this hurt? I feel so tense.

1:42:46I can't enjoy sex anymore with my husband. And it's like, okay, you need to go see a pelvic floor therapist. And of course, that should be normalized. Yeah. I'm going to link to the episode we did with Dr. Deanna, who's a pelvic floor physical therapist, and she actually brought in her models to teach everybody about the pelvic floor and what they can be doing for that because it is super, super important. I want to finish on the contraindications. So we talked about Raynaud's, We talked about pregnancy. We talked about cardiovascular disease or just cardiovascular issues altogether. That's a really big bucket there because it's not just that you've had a heart attack.

1:43:23Like there can be a lot of other things going on. Yeah. If you have arrhythmias, if you have, you know, any form of atherosclerosis, you know, that, I mean, some people will go as far as considering high blood pressure to be a contraindication for it. So you really want to make sure that those things are in check and also talk to your doctor about it and make sure that that's a safe thing for you. Hopefully you have a doctor that's informed about these practices and values their health in that way. But yeah, those are the contraindications that I really look out for. I would also add if you have very painful periods, don't cold plunge on your period.

1:44:09Yeah. It's something where people like I've seen men on the internet. That's usually where they go and misbehave when they tell women like, yeah, it's just period cramps, like get over it. Like you need to do it anyways. And I'm like, let me put a tens unit on you, baby. And let me give you a dose of period pain. Like, let me, let me in because you've never experienced this. And so for people listening, um, if you look at Chinese medicine is just one example of many practices, um, and cultures who are like, you keep the womb warm when you are postpartum and when you are on your period. And I will say, if you follow that, I mean, in Mexican culture, it's the same way.

1:44:55Lots of cultures have this. Same thing in Algerian culture. There's a reason for it. Respect the wisdom of the wise women. You don't need science to validate that this is just not a good move for you. I'm so glad you brought that up because this leads me into the point of, there's two points I want to make around that. One is if you are in a heightened state of stress, of prolonged stress, and you're coming to Worthy and we're doing a consultation with you, I'm not going to recommend and you do a cold plunge. I'm going to focus on building up your parasympathetic rest and digest before I expose you to another stressor.

1:45:40Just because someone told you it's good for you doesn't mean it is. Right? Or it's good for you in this moment. Right. And you should do what feels right for you. You have all the answers that you need, And you should not be looking outside of yourself for that. And this is, you know, one of the challenges of our medical system, right, that has pathologized a lot of things but also gaslit a lot of people, especially women. I've had countless instances in my life where I say I saved my own life. Yeah. Because I knew something was very wrong. The other thing I want to talk about is cycle thinking and understanding when to expose your body to those stressors, right?

1:46:38The luteal phase and the menstrual phase are not the time. No, our stress resiliency is lower. It goes down. Which is why people are more annoying during that phase. It's why... Yeah, your amygdala is overactive, right? You can't regulate your emotions. You, you know, and then of course you get into the second half of the luteal phase and you're facing PMS. Like, you know, next thing you know, your husband is someone that you don't really care for. Right. And so your stress resilience goes down and that goes down with your estrogen levels going down. So you want to make sure that you're dosing that stress at the right time.

1:47:19And when your estrogen is highest, that's when you're going to want to be doing the intense workout, the intense strength training, the cold plunging. You're also going to be feeling yourself, so you're probably going to want to have sex more and be more in your body and more active, right? When we think about the different variations in women, right? Some women are okay cold plunging or doing those stressful activities at any point in their cycle. If that is you, God bless you. That's not me. And I would also argue that timing those things in the day also makes a huge difference. Understanding that cold plunging can have a drastic effect on your core body temperature, right?

1:48:21It lowers your core body temperature. And so your body is at 98.6 degrees. You're lowering your core body temperature significantly. And then your body almost overcorrects to warm itself back up. Now, if you do that too late in the day, what's going to happen? Yeah, I was also just thinking of all of you that have hot flashes and night sweats, do not do this at night. But you're absolutely correct because it's something that in the winter, which feels counterintuitive, will encourage people to be doing these cold plunges because it will actually warm your body up before you go outside. Mm-hmm.

1:49:02So what you need to fall into deep sleep is a two to three degree temperature drop in your core body temperature. If your body's still in the phase of overcorrecting, you're going to be hot. And what happens when you get hot? You wake up. And I've personally had this experience where I'm howling at the moon, you know, and I'm up for two, three, or I'm just up, you know, two, three hours or I'm up for the rest of the night starting at 3 a.m. I personally like to cold plunge in the morning because it also helps with the fluctuation of cortisol throughout the day, which also can support your hormone cycles.

1:49:46Now with heat exposure, I like to do the saunas in the evening because it prepares your body for deep rest. One way it does that is through the parasympathetic activation, but also through manipulating your core body temperature. When you overheat the body, right, your body is going to overcorrect to cool itself down. And what do you need to fall asleep? You need that temperature drop. So it's going to prepare you for bed. Why do we give babies a warm bath before they go to sleep, right? It's what helps them slip into that deep sleep. Turns out, you know, we're just children in adult meat bags and we still have a lot of the same needs.

1:50:29Yeah. So we should grant ourselves that. So people should forget the morning routine, I've heard you say, and focus instead on the nighttime routine for restful sleep and nervous system regulation. You've given us a few tips, but what else can people do in the evening to really support their nervous system? Find opportunities for co-regulation. Okay. So something that Peter Levine, who is, you know, he created this method called somatic experiencing. He was really integral into my becoming trauma-informed and helping heal myself. But a very critical component is healthy relationships, social connection, and healthy co-regulation.

1:51:21So snuggle your kid. Or your puppy. Or your puppy. Well, I just want people Well, understand, your dog could be 16. I'll still call them a puppy. Yeah. You know, have a schedule, you know, a conversation with someone you love. Call your mom. Tell her you love her. You know, if that's not accessible to you, consume information that reinforces that. where you get the opportunity to bear witness to people doing good things, to people expressing kindness towards each other and love. You know, the essence of this life for me is to love and be loved. I know it's cliche, but I've had enough experiences in my life.

1:52:14You know, I was a very sick child, actually, and my life was actually in danger. as a teenager and it became very, very apparent to me that that was the most important thing. So when we can have experiences and observe things that reinforce that, it creates safety and down regulation in the nervous system. And that comes back down to the boundaries, right? Like making the choice to consume things. If your social media feed is not filled with things that bring you joy and make you feel good about yourself, that increase the worthy quotient, if you will, block it. Or if you can't, you know, mitigate your consumption, delete the app.

1:53:10See what that feels like, right? So I think healthy co-regulation. And then I also love to do a little bit of breath work. You know, I'm big on increasing accessibility. You know, part of my mission at Worthy is, and doing right by the word Worthy, you know, is everybody's born worthy of feeling good. You know, that's not a privilege that is reserved for those with, you know, tons of resources or of a certain socioeconomic status. That's something that we should all be able to experience. And I think that a lot of health practices have been kind of there's gatekeepers. Yeah. And I'm deeply disturbed by that.

1:54:05You know, there's no reason why an infrared sauna session should cost you$130 for 30 minutes. That's ridiculous. Yeah. So I personally offer a lot of free tools to people through breath work, through movement, you know, nervous system friendly movement based classes. Is this at your studio or online? Both. So at my studio, we have a tiered program. So if it's within your capacity to pay full price for our services, then you pay full price. We have a sliding scale program for folks who earn income but can't necessarily afford the full price of our services. Most of the people that are on those programs are people like social workers, new therapists, public school teachers, right?

1:55:04People that are, in my opinion, grossly interviewed and often under-resourced. And then lastly, we also have a 501c3 nonprofit called Worthy Wellness Initiative. And this was actually really inspired by my mom. And my mom was in the public service system where, you know, she was a Medicaid recipient. She lived in Section 8 housing. And I would often go to her appointments with her. My mother passed away five and a half years ago of cancer. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. And thank you. And I would go with her to her appointments. And so I look around the room and it's, you know, often a room full of immigrants who are underserved and they're being, they're just cogs in the machine.

1:56:01The system does not exist to serve their humanity first and foremost, let alone their health. And I was really disturbed by that. And so when I conceived of the idea for worthy, I thought about, and I've been in this boat myself, right? You know, when I first became a single mom, I was really struggling and dealing with serious, you know, situation where my mom is dying and caretaking for her. I have a toddler. I have a full-time job. I'm overstressed and sick and burnt out. And I also can't afford these services that I really need. And that seems so unfair. Um, so the Worthy Wellness Initiative offers a free membership to folks who meet the criteria.

1:57:01And if you're on two social service programs or more, and you can show that you're an active recipient, we don't do income verification because again, I'm committed to our humanity. And I think that the process and dignity, I think that the process of the income verification that takes place in those programs is utterly shameful. and I've seen many people I care for go through that process and it's dehumanizing. So as long as they show that they're active recipients, then they get a free membership at Worthy and it's folded into how the business works as the business grows, that membership pool grows And I find that a greater indicator of inequality is socioeconomic status.

1:57:56And so we see people from all walks of life. We have a lot of folks with chronic autoimmune conditions that have wreaked havoc on their lives. We have some people that don't speak any English. And thankfully, we have a very multilingual staff and we're able to meet their needs. And it helps kind of level the playing field. Oftentimes the people that need these services the most are the most underserved. And so that's part of our dedication to helping ensure that everyone understands that they are worthy of feeling this way. And taking time for that self-care. It's not indulgent. It's absolutely necessary.

1:58:44and paramount to your well-being. And there should be no guilt. You know, it's a shame-free environment. Yeah. Well, thank you for all the work that you are doing in this world and for taking the time to share your expertise with us today. Thank you. I'm very grateful that we got to have this time together. Me too. Thank you so much. With summer coming to an end, you're going to be spending more time indoors. Get your home ready and save up to 50 % off custom window treatments during the Labor Day mega sale at blinds.com. From room darkening to light filtering shades, finding the perfect fit is easy.

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