The Spiritual Root of Anxiety Nobody Is Talking About | Madison Prewett Troutt

25:12I've seen that I can chase success and money and algorithms and boys and all of these things. And I keep coming up empty and also full of shame. Or I can choose to build my life on Jesus Christ as the foundation and actually be satisfied and have so much peace and have so much joy. not always because it's roses and rainbows, but because I know that this life isn't all that there is. I'm not living just for this life. I'm living for an eternal one. And so for me, that started in college and it's continued to grow. I'm still growing in it. It's continued to grow. But it always comes back to that for me of like, what do I want most?

25:49Whether it's like a health and wellness goal or whether it's a financial goal or whether it's a relational goal, being able to ask myself that question always comes back to what does God's word say? And what is the foundation of truth? Like if I'm gonna stay true to my goals, if I'm gonna stay true to my values, if I'm gonna stay true to my convictions, well, what is truth? Like, what is my foundation of truth? And I just think so many people, we don't have the answer to that question. And so then we're just following whatever reel we see on social media, whatever ad pops up or whatever the people around us are doing.

26:24But asking yourself that question, I just challenge everyone who's watching and listening. What is truth? That was a question Pilate asked Jesus in John chapter 18. He looked at Jesus and says, what is truth? And it's hilarious because truth was staring right at him because Jesus says in John 14, I'm the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me. And for me, building my life on that truth has changed everything. Cause I've seen it all. You know, I've seen the people who have everything that this life can bring you. and I've seen the people who have nothing that this life can bring you.

26:58And what I've seen is those who have their life built on the truth of Jesus Christ, they're the ones who have peace and hope and love. And the ones who don't have their life built on Jesus Christ, they're chasing the things of this world, hoping they'll find peace, love, joy, and they still keep coming up empty. You know, I love that answer, especially the way you wrapped it up in the end. Cause that's kind of what I, that when I think back as a kid, and even more so like in college and post-grad, I started seeing certain men and women. And I thought, to your point, oh, they're hopeful. Oh, they're a good leader.

27:38Oh, they've got great wisdom. They have this sort of sense of, you know when you get around like somebody who is, oftentimes it's a pastor or a priest or somebody, and they have this sort of level of just serenity and wisdom and calmness and even just, you know, and I remember just thinking like, that's like, I want that, you know, and all those people were Christians and they were the most devout Christians. And that's part of, I think what led me to already, you know, growing up in a Christian home, but also saying these are people that are thriving, that are, you know, super high character people.

28:10And that's what I want. Yeah, amen, amen. Yeah, you know, one of the things I know you've talked about and I think that's really important. It's interesting because I think in different, maybe areas of Christianity, it's looked at a little differently or maybe talked about a lot or not talked about at all is spiritual warfare and knowing that, hey, Satan comes to steal, kill, destroy, deceive, lie. And I'm curious at sort of what your perspective is on that and what value to place on that, how important it is for people and Christians to understand that's happening. Is that something you've experienced?

28:46How do you fight that? Absolutely. I believe that the enemy attacks because he's threatened. And so anybody that feels a spiritual weight right now and has been experiencing spiritual warfare, that's good. I would say you should be almost like more alarmed if you're not experiencing any sort of spiritual warfare, because maybe there's more that you could be doing with your life and more you could be doing with the kingdom of God and sharing that with other people. But for me, when I think about just that we have a very real God, but we also have a very real enemy that comes to steal, kill and destroy.

29:21I think back all the way to the Garden of Eden because the enemy in the Garden of Eden, he shows up to Adam and Eve. And I think it's interesting that it's in the form of food is kind of how the first temptation happens all around that. But it's interesting because he shows up and he asked the very first question ever in scripture. And he says, did God really say? and it's really this, can you distort who God is? Like, let me make you question God's goodness. Let me make you question God's truth. Let me make you feel that God is withholding something from you. And so that's kind of how he comes into the picture and he comes up to Eve and he kind of, did God really say that?

30:02And then his next line is, oh no, if you eat that fruit, you won't really die. Kind of downplaying sin, the seriousness of sin and then ultimately leading to, no, So actually, if you eat this fruit, you'll be like God. You can be your own God. You don't have to wait on God. You can just take your life into your own hands and find everything you want in this world. There is now an advantage to rebelling against God and falling into sin. And so this is how the enemy kind of works. But what I think is so interesting is Eve's response as she gives into Satan's trickery. And it says that she saw that the fruit was good for food, which means it satisfied a craving, kind of that fleshly bodily desire pleasing to the eye.

30:44She saw this is something I want and I don't have. And so now I'm coveting it. I want it. I've got to have it. And then lastly, she saw that it would make her wise that she would know good and evil. She desired just gaining this wisdom, kind of being like God, being powerful like God. And 1 John 2 talks about this exact same thing. And he talks about how everything in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life doesn't come from the father, but comes from the world. And you see kind of from the beginning of the Bible to really the end of the Bible, you know, 1 John 2 is one of the last books in the Bible.

31:21Satan runs the same play again and again and again and again. And he comes after those same three things. And so one of the biggest things, the lust of the flesh, I do believe is anything bodily, whether that's food, whether that's, you know, sex and sexual pleasures, anything kind of in that, but it's this like target with pleasure and trying to get you to chase pleasure instead of chasing God's presence. And then, you know, the lust of the eyes is this like materialistic covet, like I gotta have it. And then the pride of life, like so many of us, we want to be important. We wanna be relevant.

31:54We wanna be powerful. And those are the same three temptations that the enemy comes after us today. And I've just seen that same thing in my own life. Every time I've fallen into sin and I've believed the enemy's lies, it's fallen under those same three temptations. But what I love is God is so much more powerful. And when we know the enemy's schemes, when we're aware of his schemes, Ephesians 6 says that we can stand firm against the devil's schemes. We can put on the armor of God. We can take our stand against him and we can win. Like the Lord has already overcome, but the enemy's still operating today until we're taken into full glory.

32:33And it's like, while we're here, we've been given winning weapons. of how we can overcome, of how we can defeat these temptations and these lies and these schemes. And I think the biggest thing is that we have to understand, we've talked about kind of just like the spiritual realm, like we're not just bodies with spirits. We are actually spirits with temporary bodies. Like we have a very temporary, short mist of a life here on this earth, but our spirits are eternal, they're forever. And so how you're, I think, thinking through, you know, this, okay, I'm getting in a fight with this person. Why do I keep getting in a fight with this person?

33:10Okay. I'm falling for this same. I said, I wasn't going to eat that again. And I eat that again, or I said, I was going to do that. And I, and it's like, you have to understand it's a spiritual realm and the enemy operates in a spiritual way. And, um, and for me fighting that, you know, in the word of God, in prayer with community, um, has helped so much. That's so powerful. I'd never heard anybody break down as well as you just did sort of these, the temptation that Eve had and how it just so aligns with, you know, our unhealthy desires, our sinful desires that we can have. And, you know, and I think there is such value in education.

33:50This is why reading scripture is so important. It's why not only going to church is so important, but Bible study, just being really biblically literate in understanding what the Bible teaches and how to apply it. Because I mean, so much of the Bible is taken out of context, is misused. And so I think when you really understand, and then you can actually utilize, you know, God's word in that way. I mean, it's incredibly, incredibly powerful. Totally. Because I think so often we just get hit, you know, with these darts, you know, we get hit with these lies and then we just don't know how to respond.

34:21Or it's just like, you feel hopeless or you feel, you know, oppressed or you just feel kind of like, this is just like how it is or how it's always going to be. And it's like, no, as believers, we can walk in victory because we're not fighting for victory. We're fighting from victory. We've already received the victory in Christ. And so we've been given these, you know, weapons and these, you know, we don't fight with the weapons the world uses. Like what I was saying earlier, like we have these weapons that demolish the lies and demolish the strongholds and demolish the, you know, generational curses and these things, like we've been given the word of truth.

34:57And so like you're saying, I think scripture has, it's helped me so much because every time a lie comes and you see, you know, we talked about the garden of Eden. And then I talked about first John two, but also the enemy came to Jesus in the same exact way in Matthew four within the, you know, temptation in the wilderness. And Jesus responded to every single lie and temptation with the truth, with God's word. And he just said, it is written. So we didn't debate the devil. He just responded with truth. And so I'm like, that's where we just gotta, we gotta know the truth and we gotta be in the truth and we gotta share the truth.

35:27So important. You know, Chelsea and I are kind of making the decision on, or, you know, made the decision on, you know, what school do we send our child to? And by the way, I know everybody, and I just want to preface it and say, everybody's in a different financial situation. I think the main responsibility is on the parents to educate the children in a godly way. But, you know, I was talking to Chelsea and I were talking about, we were just very, very adamant about sending our child to a Christian school. And like my mom, We did not have much money growing up. My dad worked out on telephone pull lines, repairing them in Ohio.

36:01And my mom would teach part-time. She actually taught part-time at a Christian school so we could go to the Christian school. So my family were, they were just, I mean, again, my parents just sacrificed a lot. So myself and my siblings could go to a Christian school. And I was talking about some of this the other day who they just finished their PhD at Liberty in psychology. and he just said it was such a different education than what he had at Vanderbilt because you go to this school and he said, everything Christianity thought, Christian thought was woven into. And so getting an education that is Christian where Christianity is woven into every part of it and that understanding versus worldly, it's just radically different.

36:43I don't know my point with that, but my point was like, you know, it's so, I mean - No, that's huge. You're gonna learn, you're gonna find this out soon. I mean, when I grew up, there was one public school, one Christian school in a small town in Troy, Ohio. Here, there are like a hundred schools and options. But thinking through that is so important because so often it's like, I want my child to go where all their other friends are, where the sports are gonna be really good and thinking through it in a different lens of how is their character gonna be formed and who's gonna be pouring into them spiritually and is there a biblical foundation?

37:13All of that is so important. Yeah, it was interesting. The reason, what turned us onto this school was, we have cousins in Knoxville. They were playing basketball here at the school in Nashville. And so we went to go watch. And one player on the other team got injured. And literally, everyone from their team, they got in a circle around him, held hands, and the coaches all prayed for him on the court. And we're like, wow, this is just an amazing thing, just the way that they were living it out. So anyways, all that being said, I think that something to go back to that we talked about at the start, if people want to grow, if they want to overcome anxiousness, if they want to be successful, if they want to be happy, just your community is so important.

37:55Where your kids go to school, the friendships you have, your growth groups. My biggest life lesson is you become who you surround yourself with. And so I'm semi-obsessive about finding the right people, connecting with the right people, doing that because I just find myself starting to act like them, think like them. And, you know, something else I hear pretty often, and I hear this from a lot of young people, and I had the same challenge, is they'll say, you know, I want a mentor, but I don't know where to find one. Have you heard or experienced that? Cortisol and chronic stress aren't just mental.

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39:19If lowering stress and supporting long-term resilience is a priority for you, learn more at sunlighten.com slash axe. use code AXE to save up to$2 ,100 off a sauna plus free shipping with additional savings throughout the year. Oh, and I was literally sitting here telling you that I wanted your mother-in-law to be my mentor because she's amazing. Yeah, she's awesome. And I have so seen that for a lot of people that I know and even my own self. And I do think, you know, the environment that you put yourself in really matters. Like same for, you know, the single person who wants to find your spouse or the person who's feeling lonely and wants to find community, putting yourself in the environments in which you are setting yourself up for success really matters.

40:07And so, of course, like the first place that I can think of is church. You know, I have, you know, a friend who literally just walked up to someone at her church and said, will you be my mentor? And I know so many people that that is their story. And then I know some people who don't have mentors because they don't have the courage to go ask. And I do think it starts with putting yourself in that environment and then also just taking that leap of faith and asking like straight up asking i think so often it's kind of just like i want to go to coffee like want to hang out but i think straight up being like will you be my mentor i would love to be i would learn i would love to learn from you i would love to just watch your life and ask you questions and and to truly be mentored in that way and then you know if you go to coffee or lunch like come with some questions ask them some questions you know what i mean like sometimes it's just kind of like hey i just want you to pour into me.

40:56And it's like, no, no, no, like show up, like be hungry, you know, be, be wanted, like be in this place where you want to learn and show up in a way where it shows like, I'm not, I don't want you to waste your time in any way. I want to learn from you in every way. And so I've thought about this and I've written out some questions. And so taking the time to be intentional in that way, I also think is really helpful. You know, I've had the opportunity to both just have some unbelievable mentors. In fact, I mean, the prayer that I prayed, I shared this with Michael W. Smith, he was on last week.

41:25And I said, I prayed in college that God would send a flood of Christian men into my life. Cause I didn't have any, like I went to college and it was like, well, where are they? And he just did that. And so then I've had that opportunity to do that for other men. And, and one thing I will say is, is that if I've had, I don't know, 25 men that I've really over the past 10 years poured into or had an opportunity, well, maybe it's, maybe it's quite a bit of time or a little bit of time, there's probably, I mean, it's probably only 20 % though, that really take it and run with it. There's another that do a few things and there's something they just don't do anything, you know?

42:00And I think for myself, those people, those five out of 25 that really went and said, I'm going to take to heart what you said. I'm going to really value this gift, this mentorship you've given me. And they've gone and applied it and done and said, thank you. I'm grateful. Here's my next set of questions. I just want to keep pouring into those people, you know? And so I think if you're going to find a mentor, also be an amazing disciple. That's so good. That's so true. It's, it's contagious. You're like, you walk away from those people and you're like, well, now I want to go, you know, be that for someone.

42:32You know, it's just a very contagious spirit to have. And I think that's just a good, I think about Matthew five, six, where it says, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled. It's a promise when we hunger and thirst for more of God, we will be filled with more of God. And so when, whether that's in the form of godly community or mentorship or whatever it may be, but coming, you know, showing up hungry and saying like, I want to learn more. I want to know more. And so I'm going to, I'm going to watch your life. I'm going to ask you questions. But also, you know, on the flip side, you know, being someone who's willing to also invest in someone and be someone who seeks someone out to pour into them and to love on them in that way, too, is awesome.

43:09Who are some people maybe from afar, they could be maybe known to the public or not known, but that you really admire. And you could say, hey, I'm trying to model part of my life after this person. Yeah, for me, since college, it was always Christine Kane. She was always someone I really looked up to. I think from the way she had such a, just like she told the truth, like she spoke the truth and she spoke it boldly. Lisa Bevere falls into this category as well. Just speaking the truth so boldly. And then I would say also she, just as someone who has such a heart to like make a difference for those who, I mean, have been abused and who have been mistreated.

43:49And so fighting for the voiceless, fighting for those who can't speak up for themselves. And so I just see, like when I read scripture, I'm like, yeah, like she has modeled her life after so many of these verses that I've read. Like she stands firm in the word of God. She speaks the word of God unashamedly. Like you can tell she spent deep, deep time in prayer alone with the father, but you also see like, she's, you know, not just going to all these big Christian conferences. Like she's traveling all over to like help set the captives free and to, you know, bring good news to the poor. And it just like these beautiful things that I think so often it's easy to just focus on one, but I've always admired that she's had, you know, a heart and a capacity to do both as well as being a wife and a mom and all the other things that she does as well.

44:35So she's definitely someone I've really looked up to. And then my parents have always kind of played that role for me in different ways as well. And then God is really, I mean, similar to you of praying that prayer, God has been so kind to put so many incredible like women in my life of just that model, those different things, or even friends that demonstrate different aspect of God's character that I just get to learn from, or in this season of my life, being a new mom and getting to have friends around me that have kids that are older than my sweet little Hosanna, getting to watch them parent and discipline and love and raise their children up in the way that they should go is so inspiring.

45:14And I feel like I'm learning so much from them and gleaning so much wisdom from them. And so I think praying that prayer is a great start. But yeah, there's people that have kind of been like from afar an inspiration to me, but also people up close. That's so good. You know, I don't know Christine, but I've really, again, really admired her. I think she's coming on here in a few months on the show. And I'm just really looking forward to it. Because again, I love how bold she is in her faith. And then John and Lisa Vavere, I just love them. They're amazing. I mean, they are so amazing. They're one of those couples where I look at their marriage and I'm just like, it's so great.

45:48Like when they're interacting together, they're sort of like just a love there that's just really, really powerful. Like adoring each other, complimenting each other, but they're both a little feisty towards each other in that way. You know, the sort of Sicilian and Italian going at it. And I just, I love it. But I always watch relationships like that. And I'm like, hey, what is it that they have that is just so, and that's just so profound. And it's just a mutual love and respect in such a powerful way and constant open communication. And there's such great value. I really feel for people that have maybe don't have those people in their lives.

46:32Because if I wasn't able to get glimpses of people like John and Lisa Bevere, or even just have amazing parents myself or Chelsea's parents, and it's just Chelsea's mom now, but seeing the way that her mom and dad interacted, that has taught me more than reading books, taught me more than anything about, hey, here's how to have a great relationship. Totally. What have you learned from your mom and dad? And also, what have you learned? Like, has anything, this is two questions. Well, let me first ask that, and then I'll ask the next one. What have you learned from your mom and dad or other great marriages that you and Grant are trying to model?

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48:17Now, the price is only good during the pre-order window. So if you wanted answers, now's the time. Again, that's healyourselvesbook.com. I'm so excited for you to transform your health via the book and these amazing bonuses and blood work. They're this beautiful balance of love and truth. They do such a great job of, like, my mom is just so full of compassion and love. And it bleeds into every aspect of her life. and she's so moved by just like loving people. And my dad is so passionate about truth and standing firm in truth and speaking the truth. And so I've just seen them kind of like the, just love and truth kind of like be this beautiful, just balance in the way that they parented.

49:06They also very much believed in parenting each of us differently. And so how they parented me was very different than how they parented my other two siblings, which I think is so beautiful because I think it'd be so easy to just kind of copy paste, copy paste, copy paste do the same exact thing but they were very intentional to kind of love each of us discipline each of us uniquely and intentionally and I'm very grateful for that. I do think again, like the words that they spoke over us but also the way that they modeled. I mean, they showed us not just, hey, you should pray but they showed us how to pray.

49:38They showed us, you know, not just you should go to church but we went to church. They showed us not just you should go and consume church. They showed us we're going to go and serve at church We're going to be a part of the church. We're going to give to the church. We're going to tithe We're going to show up and serve we're going to go on the mission trips with the church And so we were just very integrated from a young age And all of those aspects as well as you know, I grew up with my dad as a coach And so I was also very ingrained into just like sports and athletics and basketball life And so if I wasn't at church or church camp, I was in the basketball gym And so that was kind of my life, but they just did such a great job of just like disciplines and hard work and the truth, as well as seeing people, loving people, showing up for others, serving others.

50:24And so they did a really good job of complimenting each other in that way and kind of giving that to my sisters and I. That's so good. What's the biggest thing that surprised you about marriage? Oh, wow. There's so many. Our first year of marriage was really hard. I think we both came into it not realizing how selfish we were. Oh, by the way, you took mine. I mean, I was just going to say, constantly the first couple of years, I'm like, I'm so selfish. Like I only think about myself. It's crazy. You think you've like worked all that out. You know, I thought I was coming into marriage. Like he has no idea what kind of treat he's getting.

50:56And then immediately I'm like, all of these things start rising up in me. And, you know, this anger I thought, you know, I'd already dealt with or this, you know, whatever it is that just kind of gets exposed and gets brought up to the surface. So I would say that was definitely something we just had. And still, I mean, you always have to work through, I guess, you know, your selfishness, but especially that first year of marriage, I wasn't prepared for the amount of just like worldly expectations and also selfishness that we both had and had to work through. And I was just like the typical cliche, you know, wife hitting her knees in prayer, saying God changed my husband.

51:33And, you know, a few days into praying that prayer, it quickly went to God changed my husband to God changed me. Like I see there's so much in me that needs to be changed and pruned and worked on and made holy. And I just, it was a, it was a battle of that first year learning, learning to die to yourself. And I think for me, I just had treated dating and life is like, oh, he's going to serve me. He's going to show up for me. And you're just like, this is what I deserve. Kind of just honestly, this like feministic kind of mindset. and I get into marriage and I'm like, whoa, like marriage is all about sacrifice.

52:09Marriage is all about service. Marriage is all about dying to self. I'm like, it's so the opposite of what the world paints. It's so the opposite of what the movies in Hollywood shows you. And so really, you know, asking yourself in marriage, in parenting, in life, like, have I been more discipled by the world than by the word? Because for me in that first year of marriage, I realized, oh, like I've been pretty discipled by the world in terms of marriage and what I think a marriage should look like. And so I'd really strip that back and really kind of relearn, okay, when it comes to intimacy, when it comes to romantic and serving each other and spending time together in all aspects of marriage and what makes up a marriage, kind of going to God's word and being like, what do you say about marriage?

52:53What is the point of marriage? And getting to that point was so helpful. That's so good. you know one thing I changed my mind on it made me look at it in a different way is the golden rule you know because when we first got into marriage I'm like oh well I like this so Chelsea will like this like do unto others like this is what I'm doing and I realized it's like oh no her love language is quality time you know mine is like words of encouragement and physical touch and so like I always felt like man her love tank is never full I'm like I'm doing all this stuff over here it's just never full And then over time, I just started realizing it just takes deep, meaningful, intimate conversation and listening.

53:34And oh, OK. Well, I started joking around. I'm like, does this count? Can you teach me what counts and what doesn't count? A hundred percent. So, you know, figuring that out. No, that's a whole learned art. It's like learning how to love someone how they want to be loved and not how you want to be loved. It's like, oh, it's easy for me to love you how I want to receive love. but loving you how you are designed and wired to receive love is different oh yeah yeah you know i was talking to a friend this was this was quite a few years ago and i think i think he learned this but um he had been they had been engaged for like 12 years oh wow that's a long time versus our three months so i'm like he would have looked at us like we're crazy that's the way to go chel said we're six months we dated six months engaged six months but i know the whole time i'm like we got to, you know, yeah, this has to be a shorter, shorter timeline, but yeah, I was, and he told me, he goes, you know, I said, Hey, why have you not married her yet?

54:33And he said, you know, I just realized she just doesn't always make me happy. I mean, that was the, that was the answer. Yeah. Yeah. And when you don't know what the heart and the why behind marriage is, I mean, you're going to, I feel like you're going to keep coming back to that place of like, I just want to be happy. I just want my needs to be met. But when I read scripture, I'm like, man, it just zooms it all out of this is, we're a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. This marriage isn't just about us. It's not about making each other happy. It's not about us sitting around figuring out how we can find the five principles to thrive in our marriage.

55:06It's like, no, no, no. Like this is about eternity. This is about the kingdom. This is a reflection of Christ and the church. Like this is all about pointing other people to him. And if we don't have that eternal mindset in our marriage, it's going to be so easy to make it about my own selfish desires and happiness. And that, again, that was like the, one of the biggest wake up calls for me that first year of marriage. Cause I was like, wait, it's not about my happiness. He's not just here to serve me all the time. It's like, oh wow. It is about service, but it's also so much more than about us.

55:40Like it's about Jesus. Yeah. So good. So one of the things I also learned in marriage is that generally speaking, I think women battle things different than men battle. Like I think men, the biggest thing they want to do is feel, and we've heard this before, but like want to feel respected. And so there's a sort of like respect off between maybe men and then men. I just don't think about things that much, you know? And one thing I realized with Chelsea is, and she shared this with me, is she said, you know, for her, and she would say that she feels like it's less of a battle now, but she definitely felt like it was a comparison, you know?

56:20And to your point, you talked about this earlier, especially with social media, you know, and looking at people that have perfect bodies, perfect marriages, perfect lives, to your point. Some of these people, it's like, oh, and you're throwing a kid's birthday party. I'm like, was that like$100 ,000 for a kid's birthday party? Am I a good mom? So all that being said, how do you battle criticism? And is that something you've noticed? Like this is something women struggle with more than men potentially. I think for me, when it comes to kind of this comparison trap and falling into, you know, she's got this and they've got this.

56:55And for me, it is going to ultimately come down to like, who does God say that I am? And am I, do I believe that that is who I am? Like, it's one thing for God to just say that. It's another thing for me to believe that and receive that. And so if God says that I am his child, if God says that I am made in his image, if God says that he has put a specific calling in my life and given me a specific gift that isn't like everybody else's, but the gift I've received isn't just for me, it's to serve other people and kind of getting to that place of like, who does God say that I am? Who do I say that God is?

57:32Cause I'm not gonna know who I am if I don't know who he is. And so making sure he stays in his proper place and I have the right view of who he is. Cause I think sometimes we can have a distorted view of who we are if we fall into this distorted view of who God is. And so if we think, you know, God is this unfair God who's just like waiting for us to screw up, then we're probably gonna feel like we can never do enough. And we're just constantly striving. We're constantly performing. We're constantly, you know, if God is, so I just, I think you have to get to this place of who is God, who am I, who does he say that I am?

58:07And then there's like some practical things around that, right? Of just like, how do I set up boundaries as much that I can to not continually set myself up for failure? And so for me, one of the biggest things that I've made a decision on this year is to delete social media. And so I am off Instagram right now and have been off for the last six or seven months on my personal page. My podcast page is still running, but I've been off social media. Yeah, and that has been one of the biggest blessings in my life because I am not constantly seeing what everyone else has. If you think about, I shared earlier, the Garden of Eden, when Eve saw that the fruit was pleasing to the eye and she had this coveting moment.

58:48Again, it's the same temptation we face today. We get on social media, we covet what everybody else has. We envy what everybody else has. We compare ourselves to what everybody else has, who they are, what they're doing. And immediately your gifts no longer feel good enough. Your body no longer feels good enough. Your marriage no longer feels good enough. And it begins to target all of these things as you begin to covet, as you begin to envy. And so for me, it was, you know, practically it's like, Jesus says, if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.

59:21And so whatever that thing is that you need to cut off. If your phone causes you to sin. Yeah, if your phone causes you to sin, flush down the toilet. Like whatever you gotta do, get a flip phone, you know, delete social media. I mean, it sounds extreme, but it's like, if you're living in a perpetual state of like crippling comparison and all you can think about is I don't feel good enough because I'm always thinking about what they have and who they are and what they're doing, then I can't be who God's called me to be. I can't show up for the people around me the way God's called me to. And so for me, it was, you know, I was hitting not all the time, but I was hitting these moments of, I couldn't fully appreciate, you know, the way God had wired me because I was focused on the way God had wired them.

1:00:01I couldn't fully appreciate the platform and influence God had given me because I was focused on the platform and influence God had given them. I couldn't fully appreciate the friends and community in my life because I was constantly focusing on the vacations and the friend trips that everybody else was going on. And so for me, it just came down to this place of I'm going to remove this from my life and, you know, for a season. And that doesn't mean I'm going to always be off social media. I'm sure I'll get back on. But when I do, I'm going to set up some boundaries. You know, whether it's I only allow myself to get on for 30 minutes a day, whether it's I only allow myself to get on a few times a week, whether it's I have a Sunday off, a Sabbath day, whatever it is, like putting some boundaries around kind of those stumbling areas for you.

1:00:41Like, where do you find yourself comparing and falling into comparison? Is it when you watch certain rom-coms and then you suddenly feel like your marriage isn't good enough? Well, then cut out the rom-coms. Is it you get on social media and you feel this when you see so, you know. but I do think that ultimately it is a heart problem and you do have to get to a place where it, cause if, even if you remove those things, you're still living life. So you're still gonna find yourself in environments where you're around someone who's really beautiful. You're around someone who's really gifted. You're around someone who's, and if you aren't confident in who God is and in who you are in God, then it is ultimately going to just arise in a different place.

1:01:18You were kind of talking about earlier, like getting to the root. It's like, yeah, if I'm just picking off the fruits and I'm never getting to the root, then it's just gonna blossom and bloom in a different way, right? Like I can cut off like comparison in social media, but if I don't get to the root problem, if I don't get to the heart, then that's gonna just show up in another area of my life. Yeah, well, you know, and I think it comes down to something you said and it reminds me of an A.W. Tozer quote and he said something, I may not get this exactly right, but what you believe about God is the most important thing about you.

1:01:49And it's like, well, the most important thing about us is what we believe about God and who he is. And it's like, wow. Because if you believe that God is a perfect father and he gave you unique gifts, and then it's like, well, you just need to take your unique gifts and use them well. And just because somebody else has a different gift and they're maybe using it a different way or more successful in some area, that doesn't mean that you're failing, right? And so I think there's this element of being able to fix your eyes on Jesus, Just trust him. Do your best with what you've been given. And I do want to say this.

1:02:25I actually think there is value in comparing yourself to others with the right heart, right? Because I think about the world's best athletes. They will tell you, oh, I swim faster or did this faster or did this better. Totally. Because of iron sharpens iron because of that principle. I was watching this video. So our daughter did her first competitive thing ever. She's six years old and did the summer swim league this summer and did great. And Chelsea are both like worried about each other from the standpoint of, I'm like, are you looking up the scores of all the other kids? And like, and like tracking everything.

1:02:57And she's like, yeah, I'm like, okay, so am I. So we are, you know, diehard and we're trying, we're going to do our best just to also just let her flourish and have fun and, and do all those things. But I was, but I had it show up on my feed and I'm actually rarely on social media now, but I did, I was on Instagram and Missy Franklin, she's a well-known swimmer, showed up on my feed of her cheering for her teammates and cheering for somebody who's breaking the world record. And it was really inspiring because, and I think by the way, it like shocked everybody had millions and millions of views because she was so happy for this person.

1:03:32She was cheering for them probably more than she would cheer for herself and be happier for this person more than it would be herself. And I think it was so shocking and so many millions of people would watch it because that's so rare. If you're only taking one type of collagen, you might be missing some of the benefits. I had somebody recently asked me, Dr. Axe, are you still taking collagen? Of course. You know, most collagen supplements use a single source. Multi-collagen protein, the one I've been using now for nearly 10 years, supports your hair, your skin, your nails, your joints, your digestion.

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1:04:51Oh, and I feel like it so shows that she is a truly confident person in who she is and how she's wired. because I feel like that's such an easy, like one way to point to confidence is can you celebrate other people's wins? Can you celebrate other people's success? Because it's really easy. It's very easy to celebrate someone's success if it has no tie to you or anything that involves you or anything that you're passionate about. Like for example, if I was, you know, celebrating someone who is incredibly gifted at, let's try and like, you know, making beautiful blankets and they just are so good at, you know, getting some yarn and just going to town.

1:05:31And I am like, that is so impressive. Like, that's amazing. But now it might be harder for me to celebrate someone who is, you know, a podcaster or a speaker, right? And they're super successful and they have this incredible, but I can celebrate, you know, my girl who just sold a million blankets because I'm so happy for her. But it's harder for me to celebrate, you know, my friend over here who just got a million extra subscribers and followers, you know, and it's, it's, you have to, again, it's the heart, but it is, I think that's, what's so cool about that story is being able to celebrate someone who's, who's in your same lane, who's kind of running in your same lane and being able to cheer them on.

1:06:12And that really just shows like, I know, you know, that I'm confident and that I'm doing what I'm called to do. And it doesn't diminish or take away from who I am by celebrating other people. It actually shows that I'm confident in who I am. Yeah, it's powerful. You know, a related topic to comparison, I think, and your answer might be very similar, but it's criticism. I know that when I first started putting out content, I mean, I would start reading the YouTube comments. And of course, there'd be some nice ones, but then also I was like, whoa, that is ruthless. And so over time, I realized, you know what?

1:06:45I'm not going to like read and focus in on those comments. I was able to decide maybe, early on and better. Maybe some people would just be like, I'm going to just embrace these. But I am going to sometimes look at some of the criticism and say, is there truth in that? Am I being as credible as I can? Am I being as fair as I can be? And looking at things that way. But I'm curious in terms of, I mean, I'm sure you got just from being on such a large televised uh you know show like criticism oh yes lots of it lots and lots and lots of it you know and from the very beginning and it was very very hard and i think that is what really led to kind of this like stress response in my body negatively responding to um a lot of this criticism feeling so misunderstood feeling so just like i mean i can't even advocate for myself and and really like having to come back to this place of like god you're my defender you're my protector you're my advocate and I think that has been one of my biggest like things that I've leaned on but it's definitely been difficult I mean even you know to this day I tell my team or I tell my friends like hey if you see viral videos of me you know around and someone's just dogging on me I really don't care to know I really I really don't care to know if you see it why don't you just pray for that person and you don't even have to let me know you you just pray for them and I think for me it did start out where I would you know I would read some of the comments and things and then I just learned like it's not good for me to know all of the amazing things said about me as well as it's not good for me to know all of the horrible things said about me we were never made to probably be as praised and criticized as we are in today's world in this social media world and I think from a spiritual lens it just all lines up with scripture too of just like if they hated me they're gonna hate you Jesus says you know blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, you know, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

1:08:41And just again and again throughout scripture, you see it just kind of part of it when you're speaking out, you know, in a truthful Jesus centered way. But also it's just the world. Like I look at people who aren't believers at all and they're like, everyone's praising them one day and they're at like the top of their game. Everyone's obsessed with them. And then two days later, they're doing something cringy and everyone turns on them. And, you know, it's just a crazy world we live in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, I don't know why this reminds me. So, I mean, I got plenty of criticism. I remember Chelsea and I, we were down in 30A.

1:09:15We posted a picture of us just going on a date night. And Chelsea was wearing something absolutely appropriate. So my mom's, like the dress was down to here, showing a little bit of knee. And there was like some old, like I have some really like, there's a handful of like ultra, ultra conservative Christians. And they're like, your dress should be like, you know, getting into it, like with like commenting on my wife online. First of all, I have a sister, Chelsea's sister, younger sister, just, you know, anyway, she's good with words. She went on there and gave them a lashing. And it reminds me of like, I've got my two-year-old and six-year-old, my two-year-old just adores the six-year-old, like two-year-old daughter.

1:09:55It's just like, anyways. And that's another thing I'll say about having like a good marriage or good Christian friends is like, you know, they're always defending you, fighting for you, going out of their way to help you. and it's so powerful. Last question for what are your and Grant's health habits? Something we try to be very intentional about is the food that we're eating, trying to eat whole foods, trying to cook a lot of our food. That does get challenging in travel, that gets challenging in some different seasons of life. But for the most part, we really try to cook a lot. and to, I mean, we just went to the longevity clinic and we did learn we needed to eat some more salmon.

1:10:37So we're trying to add some more of that in our, you know, in our recipes. And I am getting better at that. I'm learning some good salmon recipes, which is really fun. But yeah, so we try to eat as healthy as possible. I kind of do the 70-30 rule. I'm such a sweet tooth. So, you know, that's really where it's like, you know, every now and then some, but I have found like what I really love doing is when you talk about like the healthy alternatives, Like I love finding like the healthier ice cream versions, you know, the healthier, whatever it may be version. And so that's what I try to do. We try to stay active and work out very consistently.

1:11:13So I have, you know, some workouts, Pilates studios here that I go to a few times a week. We have an at-home gym and try to stay active there. We try to spend a lot of time outside and take our sweet little Hosanna outside a lot. And I think just the vitamin D, getting in the grass, running around outside, it is hard when it's so hot outside, when it's like 100 and something degrees outside and you don't have a pool, it's like a little less motivating. But we do try to do those things. I think those, and then we're very consistent with praying with each other every single day. And so he prays over me, us every single night before we go to bed.

1:11:53We even try to do communion. like one thing we would love to be even more intentional about is like a weekly communion moment and just like taking some time to, you know, remember God's sacrifice, Jesus's sacrifice and take the body and take the, you know, the, the blood and just have that moment of just like, it's just so beautiful in doing it of course, like alone, but especially in doing it like with your spouse, there's just something so powerful about it. And so we love that. And, and then I just would say like doing life with community and making sure that we're, you know, staying in relationship with other people.

1:12:28It can be easy. I think sometimes to even just like fall into this rut of like, especially when you have a life where you're traveling or you're doing some things where you're like filming or whatever it may be, then you get home and you kind of want to just like, oh, like, let's just relax. Let's just turn off. And something we try to be very intentional about is just making sure we're still hosting. We're still going out and spending time with people. We're, you know, being active with people and seeing other people and kind of not just like locking in with the three of us right now. And that's something I have seen too with like the families that I look up to and the parents that I look up to with how they raise their kids is just constantly putting them environments with other kids and letting them play, letting them be active and letting them form those relationships and it not just be like their family all the time.

1:13:12So yeah, those would be some things that I would say, read the word, pray. I mean, there's so many I could say, but those would probably be some of the ones. Well, it's so good. It's really, really, you know, holistic. It's focusing on, you know, spiritual health, you know, mental, and then also, you know, physical. And I think that's what it takes to be healthy. You know, I think that there's a lot of people who just, you go back to where we started, they're trying to fight sometimes even spiritual battles with food and diet, and they won't see the breakthrough. And it's like, man, it is so important.

1:13:39And I really think the foundation that's greater than the physical, of course, is the spiritual in terms of making sure that you are connected to God, connected to community, and also connected to nature, you know, in order to get healthy. Amen This has been amazing Thanks so much for coming on today I know you've got a book out Dare to be true I want to encourage everybody To check it out It's on Amazon Bookstores nationwide Dare to be true By Maddie Pruitt Trout I want to encourage you guys To check it out Also if you're watching on YouTube Let me know What did you learn today? What is the biggest thing That Maddie shared today That you can walk away with?

1:14:11Have you dealt with Comparison Criticism How did you fight it? We'd love to hear from you there as well Also Don't forget to subscribe It's the number one thing you can do here to support the show. And think about who could you share this with? Somebody that maybe is dealing with anxiousness or wants to know about more about how to have a great marriage or just balance priorities as a parent. We'd love to hear from you. And we would be so grateful if you would share this episode, subscribe to this episode. Oh, also don't forget to go and subscribe and check out Maddie's podcast, the Stay True podcast.

1:14:42I think you're going to love that as well. I want to say thanks so much for tuning in here to the Dr. Axe Show. Can't wait to see you on the next episode. Transcription by CastingWords